Issuu on Google+

FREE EVERY THURSDAY / VOL • 13 NO • 24 / NOVEMBER 1 - 7, 2012 / PER ASPERA AD ASTRA

Mercury Ele c s the Night Party t io n . 5 s i P Do n ’ t M

HOW WE CHO SE T H

E

T OP 27 AMATEUR DIRT Y MOV I ES FO RT

HE HUMP!

FILM F P. 11

AR T

ic m o C S

k Boo Roun

ES T !

ea N E WS Polic

du pP .32

Wrap-Up! P. 15 n o s ea S SPOR S Timbers T

nd Feds Face O ff

P.7

ople Still Care, A : Pe pp s g are hi W ntl MUS n a h yP IC T he Afg .

16

nt! P. 37 taura FOO s e D Finally R ! A Good Chinese


foLLoW us onLIne at: faceBooK.com/mIKethrasherpresents tWItter.com/mIKethrasherpdX · WWW.myspace.com/mIKethrasherpresents

for a fuLL scheduLe vIsIt WWW.mIKethrasherpresents.com

Toxic Zombie

haLLoWeen part II

H A W T H O R N E thIs T FRi H E A T E R

thIs

sAT sAT NOv

NEMEsis

FRi NOv

2

7:00pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

AMERAkiN OvERdOsE sTONEcREEp GLAdius & usELEssN-pOiNTLEss

TiTle FighT piANOs BEcOME THE TEETH

MON NOv

3

7:00pm doors 21 and over

21 ANd OvER sHOW!

Mick Leonardi & ikE

FONEscA

21 ANd OvER sHOW!

sAT NOv

thIs

sAT

EARTH TO AsHEs & NEvER AWAkE

icky BLOssOMs

5

LikE MOTHs TO FLAMEs

& AdvENTuRE GALLEy

7:00pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

thIs

TuEs

siNGLE MOTHERs & LEE thIs cOREy MON OsWALd

TuE NOv

3

8:30pm doors 21 and over In the LounGe

6

CAT POWER

c R y s T A L B A L L R O O M

& THE GOAT

7:00pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

9

6:30pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

FRi NOv

11

MON NOv

12

TuE NOv

6:00pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

ExHuMEd

ATTiTudE AdjusTMENT & WEHRMAcHT WEd NOv

ALEsTORM

HOsTAGE cALM

iNsOMNiuM sysTEM dividE & REFicuL

& LiONizE

21 ANd OvER sHOW!

14

FRi NOv

People Under The 17 Stairs 16

8:30pm doors 21 and over In the LounGe

sAT NOv

8:30pm doors 21 and over In the LounGe

The ROGER

sEcONd sHOW AddEd!

20

6:00pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

CLYNE DUO

sAT NOv

17

7:00pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

cHuNk! NO cApTAiN cHuNk! OuR LAsT NiGHT sEcRETs cApTuRE THE cROWN & THE sEEkiNG

jOsEpH viNcENT

MikE MAiNs ANd THE BRANcHEs & AMANdA jONEs

24

sAT NOv

7:00pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

presents

ATTiLA vERAH FALLs

ABOvE THE BROkEN & i REckON

FRi NOv

R O s E L A N d T H E A T E R

dEviLdRivER

cANcER BATs & LEGAcy OF disORdER

MAcHiNE HEAd & THE BLAck dAHLiA MuRdER

& EvE TO AdAM WEd NOv

21

7:00pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

23

FRi NOv

7:00pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

TickETs GOiNG FAsT!

GALLOWS

24

sAT NOv

6:30pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

28

WEd NOv

26

8 nW sIXtH avenue

7:00pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

MON NOv

6:30pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

BARN BuRNER & vENdETTA REd

W O N d E R B A L L R O O M

sHAdOWs FALL & AcARO

FRi

855-Cas-tIXX X2

1

suN dEc

7:00pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

2

6:30pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

HuNTREss & THE HOOkERs

MON dEc

3

7:00pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

7:00pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

sAT dEc

FRi dEc

7

7:30pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

FRi NOv

cuRsivE

& GiRL iN A cOMA

7

8:00pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

8

128 ne russeLL st

7:00pm doors 21 and over

ANTIBALAS & sTAy cALM 855-Cas-tIXX X2

s T A R T H E A T E R

13 nW sIXtH ave

NEW yEARs dAy & dAvEy suicidE 877.4.FLY.tIX

DEATH GRIPS

cOMiNG crushed out · LIndsey stIrLInG (soLd out!) · pIerce the veIL (soLd out!) · the deep darK Woods · doro sOON: the KILLers · Keane · stu hamm · uLI Jon roth · GoJIra · pInBacK ·saBaton · dance GavIn dance · pauL dIanno 2 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012

16

7:00pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

FRi dEc

21 ANd OvER sHOW!

GypsyHAWk

503-224-tIXX

BROTHERs FROM ANOTHER & THE pHysics

6

& AMERicAN sHARks

9

6:30pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

iN THis MOMENT

10:00am

1 5 0 7 s e 3 9 t H a v e n u e

855-Cas-tIXX X2

1332 W BurnsIde st

ALL THAT REMAiNs

on saLe

THu dEc

& jONNy FRiTz cORNdAWG

13

7:00pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

7:00pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

& cREATuRE FEATuRE

9

8:00pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

7:00pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

sAT dEc

thIs

suN

AMiTy AFFLicTiON & GLAss cLOud FRi NOv

suN NOv

TuE NOv

4

suN NOv

7:00pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

ALL AGEs sHOW!

sAT dEc

1

8:00pm doors aLL aGes Bar W/proper Id

855-Cas-tIXX X2

go to

www.MIKEthrashErprEsEnts.coM for complete details and info on how to get your tickets early


NOTES

lovenotes@portlandmercury.com

per bags. What reason do you have not to support this? You need something to pick up your little doggie dumps? There are so many other ways to do that. This definitely needs to happen, and soon. Elliott J Karten

mission theater · tue, dec 4

LETTERS MAY BE EDITED FOR SPACE

EATING UP THE RICH RE: “Our Annual Halloween Dress-Up Issue!” [Feature, Oct 25], in which we donned the affectations of our glossier-paged colleagues in the local magazine trade, refined tastes, privileged palates, and all.

SUZETTE SMITH

VOTING WITH THE COOL KIDS RE: “Voting Cheat Sheet” [Feature, Oct 18], in which we list the Mercury’s endorsements after explaining our reasoning behind each choice. It makes it super easy to agree with us, but no pressure. DEAR MERCURY—You guys effing rock! I mean, I go to you guys for music advice, to see what my fellow forward-thinking Portlanders are doing in the sack, movies, restaurant and bar choices, and now—Jesus, I can hardly contain myself—a voting cheat sheet! Look, I moved here because smart people are in abundance and by “smart” I mean they know what’s up with music, fashion, food, politics, and not being a douche in general. I didn’t come here to sharpen my critical thinking skills— all I want to do is enjoy what Portland has built, and all you have to do is move here and your mag is like a guide to fitting in. One of my roommates said that the beauty in this issue was the way you use your “countercultural capital to further an agenda of consumer conformity, meaning that we agree by what we wear, where we shop, what we listen to, etc., by definition giving us an identity we can adopt that seemingly opposes the other side, who, by the way, are also consumers… now they’re expanding into political branding, sweet.” Not quite sure what the fuck he was talking about, but he said that essentially that’s why I find Portlandia a hoot and he doesn’t. Just point me in the right direction. J MAD ABOUT BAGS RE: “Should Portland’s Bag Ban Include a Charge for Paper? Leonard, Saltzman Skeptical” [Blogtown, Oct 10], regarding a proposal for stronger penalty against shoppers who don’t carry reusable bags by charging for paper bags.

MESSRS—The most recent installment of your periodical trifle invoked such mirth that one almost chortled aloud, causing one to spritz champagne through one’s olfactoral passages; practically inducing an expression on the domestic staff ’s “faces” (if one can be so bold as to describe their countenances as such). How can one then look down one’s nose at the help when one has Dom Pérignon dripping onto the table linen? Quel désastre! Do be so kind as to exhibit only the best and quietest taste in the future. O. Harcourt Crenshaw-Mellon (Robert Triptow) If I were you guys, I would have one of your lame duck interns check the mail/ open all packages for the next couple of weeks—this latest stunt of yours is liable to upset a few characters. It’s all fun and games, yeah, but that “herbal proctologists” bit was way over the line. And that “Canine Inch Nails’” thing is flat-out outrageous, even for you. If you stay on this train of wanton insolence for much longer, someone is going to send you guys a stylish, mauve-tinged box containing two dollops of Bichon Frise feces, composed mostly of quail foie gras and “felony flatsborn” squirrel thighs, with a dash of artisanal baking soda for texture and a splash of “Fiberified Purina Elite” for Fifi’s excretory comfort in producing said delight. And you’ll fucking deserve it. posted by human in training MAYBE SO, HIT, maybe so. But for now it’s at least clear what you fucking deserve: two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater, where you’ll have to leave your Bichon Frise at the door, sadly. COVER ART

(of the velvet underground)

cass mccombs

CRYSTAL

THE

HOTEL & BALLROOM

CRYSTAL BALLROOM

a n e m o n e M

Direct from Havana, cuba… thur nov 1 all ages

Orquesta Aragón Martin Zarzar (of Pink Martini)

sat nov 3 21 & over • lola’s room

Radiation city paRenthetical giRls Fri nov 2 all ages

sat nov 10 $6 • 9 p.m. • 21 & over • lola’s room

Mike Thrasher presents

Cat Power

The Goat

sun nov 4 all ages

80s video dance attack 11/9 the devil makes three 11/11 brandi carlile ben gibbard 11/20 youngblood hawke 11/21 walk the moon 11/23 typhoon 11/26 world's finest/the bellboys 12/2 d2r: the lumineers 12/3 d2r: passion pit 12/4 d2r: fun. 12/5 d2r: of monsters & men 12/6 d2r: joy formidable 12/10 d2r: the shins 12/27 & 28 beats antique 12/29-31 railroad earth 1/8 keane 1/11 floater 2/6 ellie goulding 2/27 fade to light 4/25 local natives 11/2

11/18

I am strongly in favor of a better plastic bag ban here in Portland. I mean, for the love of all things holy, this is Portland. Corvallis even has a better one than us (and Eugene, Photo by Stephanie just recently). A paper bag fee will even help stephaniegonot.com businesses by covering the cost of their pa- Doodle by Scrappers

danceonair.com Gonot

scrapperstown.com

portlandmercury.com

john cale

tICKEtS ON SALE NOW!

115 SW Ash St., Suite 600 Portland, OR 97204 • 503-294-0840 • info@portlandmercury.com

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Wm. Steven Humphrey

INTERNS Lex Chase, Kathleen Marie-Barnett

MANAGING EDITOR Marjorie Skinner

DIRECTOR OF CIRCULATION Jay Williams

NEWS Denis C. Theriault, Sarah Mirk

SALES DIRECTOR Rob Thompson

SENIOR EDITOR Erik Henriksen MUSIC Ned Lannamann

SALES COORDINATOR Autumn Webring

ARTS/WEB EDITOR Alison Hallett FOOD Chris Onstad

DIGITAL SALES MANAGER James Deeley

COPY CHIEF Courtney Ferguson CALENDAR Bobby Roberts

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Sarah Elliott, Katie Peifer, Marissa Sullivan

PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Davis

ALTPERKS OPERATIONS MANAGER Michelle David

SENIOR DESIGNER Nick Olmstead

OFFICE MANAGER Noah Dunham

AD DESIGNER Nami Bigos

GENERAL MANAGER Katie Lake

ART DIRECTOR Justin “Scrappers” Morrison

PUBLISHER Rob Crocker

AL’S DEn at CRYSTAL

HOTEL

FREE LIVE MUSIC nIghtLy · 7 PM 11/1-3

11/4-10

PaT kEaRNs

Mishka shubaly

ED FoRMAn Show - laTE-NighT Talk show Mix of coMEdy, Music, aNd iNTERviEws – ThuRsdays ThRu saTuRdays aT 10:30PM

Ballroom: 1332 W. Burnside · (503) 225-0047 · Hotel: 303 S.W. 12th Ave · (503) 972-2670 mcmenamins.com

CASCADE TICKETS

cascadetickets.com 1-855-CAS-TIXX outlets: crystal ballroom box office, bagdad theater, edgefield, east 19th st. café (eugene)

November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 3


FINALLY SOMETHING TO HONK ABOUT, IF PORTLANDERS HONKED.

All the news and talk from your neighborhood. Finally in one place. Create a free account today at everyblock.com.

Be a better neighbor.

V i s i t O re g o n H u m a n e . o r g t o f i n d yo u r s . Creative services donated by Leopold Ketel

4 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012


ONE DAY AT A TIME

THE WEEK IN REVIEW by Ann Romano

Don’t Miss... THE MERCURY ’S ELECTION NIGHT WING-A-DING-DING (PARTY)! FREE

KRISTIAN DONALDSON

MONDAY, OCTOBER 22

Tonight marked the final presidential debate between President Obama and Mitt “Binder Full of Women” Romney, which may have been a bit nerve-wracking for them—but not nearly as nerve-wracking as it was for Lindsay Lohan, who “live-twattered” the entire event! (By the way, no one asked her to do this.) “OMG it is HAPPENING!!!!!!!! The Final Debate!!!!! I’m so nervous!” twattered Lohan, also known as the “Wa lt er Cron k it e of her generation.” Whether making erudite observations (“19 2 0 s , 19 5 0 s …. ITS ALL THE SAME, History repeats itself…. Only if you let it”) or giving shoutouts to her friends and the educational system (“@ S a r a h K S i l ve r m a n WALTER CRONKITE Teachers are the BEST!”), Lindsay somehow held it together until the end, when she supplied the encouragement both candidates were undoubtedly yearning for. “Nice work to both @BarackObama and @mittromney… i’m so relieved that its over. Maybe more than both of you..severe anxiety-God Bless xo L.” In response, Jack Dorsey, the man who invented Twitter, had this to say: “Okay, so maybe this Twitter thing wasn’t such a good idea.” MEANWHILE… Yesterday was a day of international mourning, because (of course) it was Kim Kardashian’s birthday. The aging, wrinkled, cellulite-covered monstrosity celebrated her special day with mentally deranged boyfriend Kanye West in Rome, where they dined at a romantic restaurant, and… wait… she changed her outfit halfway through the meal?!? “Middinner [Kim’s] driver came into the restaurant with a huge carrier bag and dress carrier…. When she came in, she was wearing a long black dress, but then she left wearing a green outfit.” GUYS. Before jumping to any conclusions, we’re siding with Kim on this one. Think about it: She’s now an ancient 32 years old—and sometimes when you’re elderly, your colostomy bag leaks. Be polite, and look the other way.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 23

Blast from the past! Longtime readers of One Day will remember Sam Lufti—the so-called “Svengali” who was managing Britney Spears during her now-famous psychotic break of 2007-2008. After a long vacation from the public spotlight, he’s back and suing both Spears and her parents for libel and breach of contract—and he took the stand today to tell his “version” of events. Lufti is now claiming he wasn’t the evil, drug-pumping influence people made him out to be, and in fact was trying to get Brit off drugs… even going so far as to hire drug-sniffing dogs and flush a bag of white powder (which his lawyers claim was meth) down the potty. Mama Lynne Spears has accused Lufti of being a terrible influence who discouraged Brit from contacting her family, and perhaps even drugged her food. Meanwhile Lufti claims that Papa Hillbilly Spears threatened his life, sending a text message that said, “If and when I met u one thing is going to happen I am going to jail and u r going to the hospital.” We fi nd this claim suspicious, because (1) hillbillies have yet to conquer texting technology, and (2) the spelling is too accurate. However, there might be some truth to Lufti’s testimony—at least in regard to the infamous

THIS WEEK ON

PORTLANDMERCURY.COM

R

Britney head-shaving incident. “Someone told her they can scientifically test her hair for a history of drug use,” Lufti testified, “so she shaved it off.” Now that sounds believable. Because (3) hillbillies will believe anything.

emember 2008? WOW. Now that was fun. Let’s do it again with the Mercury/Doug Fir Election Night Wing-a-Ding-Ding (Party), where most of the following will certainly happen!

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 24

R.I.P. Steve Honig, Lindsay Lohan’s publicist from 2010-2012. (No, he’s not actually dead— however, he did decide to quit before Lindsay could kill him.) While Honig also represents other walking trainwrecks such as Courtney Love and Brooke Mueller, Lohan was just too much for even a seasoned bullshit spinner like him to bear. In the scant two years he was with Lindsay, Honig handled her numerous car accidents, thievery accusations, romantic traumas, health scares, jail/rehab visits, and random insane quotes made on social media, as well as Lohan’s equally insane family members. Again, rest in peace, Mr. Honig. May you never have to spew so many lies again. (Now… anybody want Honig’s old job? Anybody? Hello? Is this thing on?)

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 26

Yesterday Usher bought a puppy for $12,000. UGH. Rich people, right? Okay, fine, there’s (a little) more to the story: It was at a charity auction in New York, and Usher was merely continuing his vicious blood feud with an unnamed family. “At last year’s gala event, the singer tried to take home a puppy at auction, but was outbid by a family who eventually named the pooch ‘Usher,’” reports peoplepets. com, an entire website from People that focuses solely on pets. (Other stories include “Happy Howl-o-ween! Fun & Furry Trick-or-Treaters” and “Justin Bieber Has a Tour Hamster.” MOVING ON.) “Usher looked thrilled, throwing his hands up in the air to celebrate,” peoplepets.com continues. Congratulations, Usher! You just expressed 1,000 percent more joy than most celebrities do when they have their fi rst child!

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 27

“Until 2010, federal law barred companies from using corporate money to endorse and campaign for political candidates—and that

Doors 6 pm, entertainment starts at 7 pm

ABSOLUTELY FREE! (21+)

• Election night coverage on the big screen—all night! • Fun, games, and prizes! • A “Mormon Magic Underwear” fashion show! • Comedy from Portland’s funniest dude, Ian Karmel! • Smarty-pants analysis from Portland’s smartest politician, Steve Novick! • Binders full of women! • Special surprise guests! • Drink specials, and a metaphorical waterfall of booze! • Dance party with DJ Gregarious! • And the (hopefully, probable) reelection of President Barack Obama!

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 25

We’re still dumbstruck by last weekend’s inconceivable wedding between Justin Timberlake and a bar of soap (okay, fi ne… the admittedly gorgeous but extremely boring Jessica Biel). And despite the glaring oversight of not being invited to the ceremony, at least we can claim we were in somewhat good company. While Justin’s for me r *NSY NC boy bandmates JC Chasez (the other handsome one) and Chris Kirkpatrick (the dopey-looking one) were invited, no invitations were sent to either Joey Fatone (the geriatric Frankenstein one) or Lance Bass ANTI- LANCE (the gay astronaut one). “Justin thought a reunion would overshadow the wedding,” says a snoopy pal to Us magazine. “And Justin hates Lance now.” WHAT. Justin hates Lance? (That’s like a jar of mayonnaise hating a slice of white bread.) That settles it! Justin has the worst taste in women, bandmates, AND gay white bread!

DOUG FIR

830 E Burnside TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 6

THE MERCURY ELECTION NIGHT WING-A-DING-DING (PARTY)! The best party of 2008 AND 2012!

included urging employees to support specific politicians,” the New York Times reported this weekend. “But the Supreme Court’s Citizens United decision has freed companies from those decisions, and now several major companies have sent letters or information packets to their employees suggesting—and even explicitly recommending—how they should vote.” Take David A. Siegel, for example, chief executive of Westgate Resorts, who told his 7,000 employees, “The economy doesn’t currently post a threat to your job. What does threaten your job, however, is another four years of the same presidential administration. If any new taxes are levied on me, or my company, as our current president plans, I will have no choice but to reduce the size of this company.” Other threats have been sent to employees from the reprehensible likes of Georgia-Pacific and Cintas. “I really wanted them to know how I felt four more years under President Obama was going to affect them,” Siegel explained to the Times. “It would be no different from telling your children: ‘Eat your spinach. It’s good for you.’” Wow. Okay, that’s it. Everything is offi cially the worst it has ever been.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 28

Hurricane Sandy barreled toward the Eastern Seaboard today, threatening deadly weather and massive damage. As residents in some of America’s most densely populated areas stocked up on non-perishable food, filled their bathtubs with water, and prepared to last for who knows how long without power, officials were already counting on federal disaster relief from FEMA and warning those in the hurricane’s path to evacuate and expect worst-case scenarios. SPEAKING OF FEMA… So remember in 2011, when Mitt

Romney was desperately clawing his way toward being the Republican presidential nominee, spouting all sorts of radical right-wing ideology to win over the wingnuts? Turns out Mitt had a few thoughts about FEMA! “Every time you have an occasion to take something from the federal government and send it back to the states, that’s the right direction,” Romney lied at a Republican debate, casually blowing off an agency that has sometimes been all that stands between life and death. “And if you can go further,” Romney continued, “and send it back to private sector, that’s even better.” “Including disaster relief?” asked moderator John King. “We cannot afford to do these things without jeopardizing the future of our kids,” Romney replied. “It is simply immoral, in my view, for us to continue to rack up larger and larger debts and pass them on to our kids, knowing full well that we’ll all be dead and gone before it’s paid off.” Or, you know… dead and gone NOW. Because there wasn’t any federal disaster relief. MEANWHILE… And as we fi ll our bathtub COMPASSIONATE with the second-biggest martini we’ve ever made—just in case— we’ll leave you with some advice from One Day at a Time Meteorological Correspondent Lindsay Lohan. “WHY is everyone in SUCH a panic about hurricane (i’m calling it Sally)..?” LiLo tweeted. “Stop projecting negativity! Think positive and pray for peace.” Oh, dammit. We just ran out of olives.

THE LATEST ELECTION RESULTS, PARTIES, AND ANALYSIS! BLOGTOWN TUESDAY! Comment on this story at portlandmercury.com

November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 5


doubletee.com / roselandpdx.com

tonight!

tonight!

with special guests

nov 1st • roseland • 8pm • all ages

& DaviD DaLLas

NOV 1st • peter’s rOOm@rOselaNd • 8pm • all ages

NOV 8th • rOselaNd • 8pm • all ages

plays

ial very spec guests

TRUSTROBERT DELONG

NOV 14th • rOselaNd • 8pm • all ages

AvAilABle NoW

grouplovemusic.com

NOVember 19th • rOselaNd • 8pm • all ages

Maniac Lok

CHILLEST ILLEST STEADY THE BOSS

sat NOV 17th • rOselaNd • 8pm • all ages

siDesTep & NOV 21st • rOselaNd • 8pm • all ages NiT griT

FeAT. syD ThA KyD & mATT mArTiANs oF oDD FuTure

sat NOV 17th • rOselaNd • 8pm • all ages

Mistah Fab MUMbLs

sat december 1st • rOselaNd • 8pm • all ages

checK ouT her NeW viDeo “WAKe up”

& cap 1 december 13th • rOselaNd • 8pm • all ages 6 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012

december 20th • rOselaNd • 8pm • all ages

www.lilladmONe.cOm www.yOutube.cOm/watch?V=g5dbbJ7VbNy

adVaNce tickets thrOugh all ticketswest lOcatiONs, safeway, music milleNNium. tO charge by phONe please call 503.224.8499


NEWS

But Does It Have Teeth?

Feds’ Deal with Cops Hits Taser Policies, Mental Health Training by Denis C. Theriault BUILDING ON last month’s federal report that blasted Portland cops’ use of unconstitutional force against the mentally ill, the US Department of Justice and city officials last Friday, October 26, reached accord on a “watershed” set of reforms bearing big promises—but even bigger questions. The agreement aims to expand civilian oversight of the police bureau, strengthen mental health treatment and training, tighten Taser and use-of-force policies, and speed up misconduct investigations. “This is a watershed moment,” Mayor Sam Adams said. But that landmark moment comes with a major price tag that Adams doesn’t yet know how he’ll pay: $3.5 million in annual costs for dozens of new positions—cheaper than in cities like New Orleans and Seattle, but a tough sum to absorb in a city facing budget cuts. The deal also leaves much of the implementation to Portland’s next police commissioner. And advocates who have been tracking civil rights issues for years already are asking whether the deal actually addresses the problems laid out by the feds [“Saving Us from Ourselves,” News, Sept 20]. “It doesn’t solve my problem at all,” says Jason Renaud of the Mental Health Association of Portland, who wrote to the feds asking why the agreement doesn’t include stronger provisions for firing cops who use excessive force. “There are police officers on the streets who have killed my friends. And they’re likely to kill again.” Some changes, however, will happen quickly. Portland City Council is set to ap-

prove the reforms at a 2 pm hearing this Thursday, November 1. Then, the council will immediately seek out applicants to serve as a new city compliance officer— someone charged with making sure the city delivers on its promises while also leading a 15-member community oversight board (of which five members would be nominated citywide).

NICOLAS GUENZLER

The police bureau also must begin sifting through several changes in training, policy, and oversight, including: • Creating an Addictions and Behavioral Health Unit that will have power over a restored Crisis Intervention Team of specially trained mental health officers and oversee an expansion of the bureau’s mobile crisis units. • How to wrap up misconduct investigations, including appeals, within 180 days—far shorter than the current year-plus average. • Changing Taser policies to ban the use of multiple stun guns on the same person at the same time. Cops will be also banned from using consecutive Taser cycles on someone—a change long sought by advocates.

A Neighborhood and Its Freeway

NEWS City Signs Off on I-5 Expansion Through the Rose Quarter by Sarah Mirk ONCE AGAIN, the city is taking a stab at redeveloping the Rose Quarter. Last Thursday, October 25, Portland City Council signed off on the North/Northeast Quadrant Plan and a related plan to expand Interstate 5. But while much of the changes involve long-range, feel-good goals for job growth and development in the beleaguered Rose Quarter, Lloyd District, and Lower Albina neighborhoods, the plans to widen I-5 through the area are controversial. The stretch of I-5 through Albina and the Rose Quarter is the most dangerous in the state, with 120,000 cars passing through every day and nearly 100 crashes a year. Rebuilding the 50-year-old freeway is a massive task that will require years of construction to tear down five freeway overpasses, rebuild four, rework onramps,

BALLOT GOT YOU STUMPED?

build better bike and pedestrian facilities, and create a concrete “lid” over the freeway that can support new buildings. The total cost: $400 million. To put that in perspective, it’s more than double the cost of the entire Eastside Streetcar Loop. Outspoken neighbors would rather the city focus on business and bike-pedestrian development, rather than the freeway widening. “I am for passing the plans, just because it creates certainty around the project, but not for funding the project,” says Eliot Neighborhood Association Chair Allan Rudwick, who has voiced the fear that if money runs short on the project, the crosswalks and bike lanes will be the first promises axed. City planners have reiterated that the freeway and neighborhood-friendly developments are a package deal: They need to

Another key element required a buy-in, not only from the feds and the cops, but also the city’s health care industry. The state’s Coordinated Care Organizations (CCOs), tasked with implementing federal health care reform in Oregon, have promised to add, by mid-2013, at least one center where cops can drop off people in crisis. The city has at least five years to make the fixes. But skeptics, including Dan Handelman of Portland Copwatch, worry the city will skirt some of the more substantive reforms through the use of loopholes. He lamented that Police Review Board hearings, which greatly inform discipline decisions by the chief ’s office, remain closed to the public. Discipline, or a lack thereof, in deadly force cases still can’t be appealed. “The police want to find ways to keep doing what they’re doing,” Handelman says. Both mayoral candidates, Charlie Hales and Jefferson Smith, have indicated— Hales explicitly so—that they’ll keep Police Chief Mike Reese. Both also tell the Mercury they’ll be willing to make deep cuts at city hall while also looking to Multnomah County for help with funding. But Smith appears more willing to play a bit rough if either the cops or the health care system refuse to fall in line. He says he’d hold up permits and zoning approvals for the CCOs if they didn’t work with the city. And he also said he’d take action if, for example, the benchmarks for speedier misconduct probes aren’t met. “The question of a special [court-appointed] monitor,” Smith says, “might need to be revisited.” be built together to get federal funds. As for the “feel-good” aspect, the North/ Northeast Quadrant Plan lays out the goal of adding 10,000 jobs and developing 5,000 housing units in the area by 2035. As the area gets denser, the city wants to decrease reliance on cars. Right now, people driving alone make up 56 percent of trips to the area; the city aims to cut that to 25 percent. Hand-in-hand with making the area nicer for people who walk or bike, the city wants to double the amount of street-facing ground-floor retail spaces in the area (as opposed to keeping them hidden inside Lloyd Center or office buildings). The goals are similar for Lower Albina: adding 1,000 jobs (but no housing) and doubling the number of non-solo car commuters. Of course, the plans for dense development are ironic given the history of the area: What’s now the sprawling Rose Quarter once was the bustling heart of Portland’s African American neighborhood—until the city razed 1,100 homes in the 1960s to build Memorial Coliseum and I-5 itself.

VOTING CHEAT SHEET Check out our handy-dandy online voter cheat sheet over at portlandmercury.com and vote on national, state, and local races and measures in style. Comment on these stories at portlandmercury.com

Hall Monitor

NEWS Let’s Send Charlie a Message by Denis C. Theriault JEFFERSON SMITH’S concession all but came the week before, when the fading mayoral candidate decided to rework his campaign filings and toss thousands of dollars and, more importantly, hundreds of volunteer hours over to the team working to pass the vitally important Portland Public Schools construction bond. But his defeat—especially with thousands of ballots already returned—became undeniable after a pair of polls released by OPB and the Oregonian on Monday, October 29, showed Smith down 19 and 20 points, respectively, to his rival in the race, Charlie Hales. Smith had already been laying the groundwork for a graceful and magnanimous exit come November 6—the schools gesture and a smattering of subtle shifts in messaging that might serve the soon-to-be-former state legislator well if he ever decides to reignite his political ambitions. And Hales, a former city commissioner, has been taking on the mien of a mayor-elect— peppering his social media feeds with eight-point plans and “as your mayor, I will…” pronouncements. That’s an understandable move for Hales, no doubt privately savoring the scent of seeming inevitability. But it also suggests he’s ignoring the deeper message lurking in Monday’s poll results. Portlanders aren’t embracing Hales— who has yet to top 50 percent in any survey. They’re mostly rejecting Smith— who never recovered from his handling of reports that he hit a woman at a 1993 college party and then showed up at her house this fall to try to talk to her about it. So here’s what I’m proposing—in a suggestion aimed at anyone wringing their hands about what to do after jumping off the Smith bandwagon. Don’t feel compelled to vote for Hales. To make sure Hales really understands where he sits in the eyes of voters—so that he’s sufficiently humbled so as to strenuously avoid repeating his own litany of trustbusting campaign mistakes—write in someone else. (Disclosure: I marked Hales on my ballot the day it came but haven’t been able to make it official. I’ll probably write in Sam Adams—although public defender and mental health advocate Chris O’Connor remains a solid dark horse.) Hales will still win. Smith will still lose. But if we can help it, Hales will win with less than majority support—without what he can reasonably claim as a mandate. That’s a fair outcome for a candidate who’s mostly right on policy issues, but broke his promise on campaign contribution caps only after winning a slew of newspaper endorsements, bullied groups that didn’t endorse him, and also let his campaign get caught in fibs. If Hales wants real support, he’ll need to spend the next four years earning it. November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 7


Lots O'

k in

ww

Multnomah County Animal Services

Visit our neighborhood cat adoption partners: Sellwood Dog Supply & Cat Annex......8334 SE 17th Ave, Portland Natural Pet Food Solutions.......7639 S.E. Milwaukie Ave, Portland Personal Beast................................................8119 SE Stark, Portland Pets On Broadway.....................2762 NE Broadway Street, Portland Beauty for the Beast..........................5215 N. Lombard St, Portland Meowhaus...........................................5244 NE Sandy Blvd, Portland

MULTCOPETS.ORG 8 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012

B e fo re Yo u T o

Ge

p.

Th

Ukes

t t h e Fa c t s

.

try es w.c for ityo n a fvancouver.us/urb


Waiting for Marriage

NEWS

Oregon Skipped the Same-Sex Fight for Good Reason by Sarah Mirk A YEAR AGO, LGBT advocacy group Basic Rights Oregon (BRO) took a look at their numbers and made a hard choice: They would be waiting for marriage. The state’s pro-gay politicos decided to hold off until at least 2014 to push a constitutional amendment legalizing same-sex marriage, even though that meant depriving the state’s nearly 15,000 same-sex couples the full rights of citizenship for two more years. Looking now at the extremely close and expensive race over Washington’s Referendum 74, it seems like BRO made the right choice. If Washington voters uphold the same-sex marriage law passed by their legislature in February, it will be by a hair: The latest Elway Poll shows the referendum ahead 49 percent to 45 percent, with a sliver of undecided voters who will likely fall into the “no” camp. When it crunched the numbers a year ago, BRO found that only 48 percent of Oregon voters supported same-sex marriage (which would have to be legalized via a statewide constitutional amendment, thanks to a 2004 measure). They wanted larger support before launching and worried about raising what they estimated would be $10 million for the fight. “I still feel absolutely confident in the decision we made to build an education campaign over the next two years,” says BRO Executive Director Jeana Frazzini. “There are four states where marriage is on the ballot and only in one of those places are we on the ballot on purpose—Maine.” Just as BRO thought, the Washington campaign has required a mountain of money. Six pro-marriage political action committees have raised $13.3 million, pulling big-business donors (like Bill Gates, Nike, and chief executives at Starbucks, Alaska Airlines, and Microsoft) and small donors from all over the country. Fifteen percent of donations for the main pro-same-sex marriage group, Washington United for Marriage, have come from out of state. The anti-marriage side, meanwhile, has $2.27 million in its war chest. Of that, $1.49 million comes from just three sources: conservative Seattleite Thomas Matthews, the Catholic Knights of Columbus, and the Na-

In Other News

merc_vert0124_12_pdot.pdf

3/8/12

5:39 PM

JEFF SHERIDAN

“You’re fighting for social change— that doesn’t come easy.” -Referendum 74 spokesman Zach Silk tional Organization for Marriage. Overall, the anti-marriage campaign has received just 5,025 donations compared to the progay groups’ 22,000. Referendum 74 spokesman Zach Silk says the race would be close even if the issue hit the ballot in two years, but that there’s good momentum from the legislature, Washington’s governor, and President Barack Obama coming out to support the law. Washington is better positioned than Oregon for voting on same-sex marriage now, Silk says, because it has a more urban population and deeper pockets. “You’re fighting for social change—that doesn’t come easy,” says Silk. “If we win, we’ll be glad we went. If we lose narrowly, we’ll have moved the needle significantly.” For the past six weeks, BRO has turned its volunteer force over to the Referendum 74 campaign, filling 100 canvassing and phone banking shifts a week. No matter which way Washington votes, Oregon will continue to keep its eyes on 2014. C

M

Y

CM

MY

CY

CMY

K

by Mercury staff

As mentioned in this week’s Hall Monitor, polling released on Monday, October 29, by OPB and the O crystallized the current state of the mayoral race with only a week to go before election day. But here’s who else (and what) was up (or down): Barack Obama’s margin over Willard Romney was only in single digits. Incumbent City Commissioner Amanda Fritz was holding a solid lead over State Representative Mary Nolan—who’s left hoping for a surge of support from a large plurality of undecided voters; legal pot and Portland’s arts tax were trailing; and Democratic incumbents Kate Brown and Brad Avakian were modestly in front in their races, respectively, for

1

NEWS

secretary of state and labor commissioner. DENIS C. THERIAULT Keep your ticket handy: TriMet is bumping up its security team. The public transit agency hired six new fare enforcers this week—bringing its total to 26—and added a federally funded “K-9” team (staffed by a black lab named Snoopy and a cop named Officer Stoner). Since October 2011, TriMet has cracked down on fare-jumpers, issuing six times as many citations as it did in the previous year. Also, by the end of the year, all buses should have security cameras, as all MAX trains already do. SARAH MIRK November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 9


LOW-COST BANKRUPTCY FREE CONSULTATION

DOCTORS WITHOUT BORDERS IN PORTLAND

KELLY K. BROWN BANKRUPTCY ATTORNEY

503·224·4124 www.kellybrown.com

Stop foreclosure and garnishment Evening and weekend appointments

Photo stills from Access to the Danger Zone

We are a debt relief agency. We help people file for bankruptcy under the Bankruptcy Code. 520 SW Yamhill · Suite 420 · Portland 97204

NOVEMBER 14 –17 OHSU LECTURE

PANEL DISCUSSION WITH MERCY CORPS

FILM SCREENINGS

Emergencies of Scale: Delivering Humanitarian Aid in the World’s Largest Refugee Camp and a Sprawling Urban Slum

At Any Price? Negotiating Access to Crisis Zones

Access to the Danger Zone

Mercy Corps Action Center 28 SW First Ave, Portland

Hollywood Theatre 4122 NE Sandy Blvd, Portland

NOV. 14, 12:00 NOON

OHSU, MacKenzie Hall, Room 1162 3181 SW Sam Jackson Park Rd, Portland

NOV. 15, 7:00 PM

All events are free, fully accessible and open to the public. RSVP at doctorswithoutborders.org/portland

10 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012

NOV. 14, 7:30 PM AND NOV. 17, 2:00 PM Narrated by Daniel Day-Lewis


W

x p e c t a t T h is Y E o t t ear ’s HUM ha by Sarah M

ur

W

HY DO WE host st an amateur porn festival stival every year? Because cause it’s a damn good time, that’s why. Hot, boring people shouldn’t have a monopoly opoly on pornography. HUMP! features 27 shorterorterthan-five-minute pornos made by regular people, eople, mostly Portlanders and Seattleites. The films ms are a much better representation of great sex than regular porn: They’re creative, hilarious, messy, bizarre, and occasionally sexy. They’re floppy, oppy, they’re bouncy, and they’re full of awkward body hair. And they’ll only be seen next weekend. kend. Phones and cameras spotted in the theaterr are confiscated, and at the end of the festival,l, the films are systematically destroyed—so they won’t ever, ever be leaked to the small screen. Along with the rest of the HUMP! jury, I endured nine straight hours of amateur porn rn as we watched all 90 films submitted to the festival this year. A lot of people have asked what at it’s like to watch nine hours of strangers fucking, king, so I put together this blow-by-blow.

Thurs Nov

8-Sun Nov 11 Cinema 21 See portla ndmercury .com/hump for tickets & showtim es

IN HOUR H EIGHT, you’re delirious. Images seem to be repeating themselves. A second person has sex with a tree. Another unicorn perso That giant double-headed purple sex tableau. ta dildo shows up again. (That thing must be a bestseller.) Someone gives a blowjob through bestse sunroof of a moving vehicle—whoa, haven’t the su seen tthat before. Finally: A guy fucks a loaf of Wonder Bread. You always wondered if men Wond longed to do that. longe IN HOUR HO NINE, you’re an expert. You know good porn when you see it! Those sequined a goo gimp masks? Pitch perfect! Applause! The straight couple filming as they fuck in front of a straigh Princess Diana poster? So bizarre and hot and Prince Total boner killer. The judges fun! Swastikas? S agree in unison: Keep it! Toss it! You are unfazed by the bouncing of boobs, the licking of blood. You are jaded by orgies. You are a pornwatching machine. watchi

IN HOUR ONE, you’re critical. After the anxious expectation of having your eyes burned ned out by staring directly into someone’s bleached hed sphincter, the reality of other people fucking king is a letdown. You roll your eyes at the stranger nger melodramatically stroking his dick. Talk and jerk. Is this all there is?

IN HOUR THREE, you’re fired up. You have summited the horror, and now? You can take anything. What you got? Remote-control dildo car? Clown sex? Dick smashing? Bring it on!

HUMP!

IN HOUR SEVEN, you’re bored. Bored of seeH ing dicks. Big dicks, small dicks. Dicks attached d to giant balls. Dicks in strange metal contrapgi tions. tions Dicks that remind you of those limp salad rolls. Dicks in costume, slapping into one another. anoth Dicks a million! You get hostile, bitter toward towa the films that don’t hold your interest. Keep K ep it short, people! Make it snappy! It’s not a Ke porn if no one gets naked.

IN HOUR ZERO, you’re nervous. You havee 90 dirty movies to watch. You have no idea how you’ll scale this porn mountain. What will the view be from the top? Likely, you will be staring down into the dark, scarred valley of Never ever Having Sex Again.

IN HOUR TWO, you’re shocked. My God, the th horror strikes you by surprise. A woman in a leather-bound chef outfit grabs a rubber glove full of Crisco and you say, “No, no.” But then, yes, yes, the Crisco is in-out-in-out! The sex-toy expert next to you shakes her head and murmurs sadly, “They’re never getting that clean.”

Photography by Stephanie Gonot Illustration by Scrappers

irk

P ! A m a te

st e F n Por

IN HOUR FOUR, you’re joyful. The world is full f ll of beautiful people and their creative ideas. You burst out laughing at the films that take sex not so seriously. The classical soundtrack! The use of kale! All genius. And, you’re a little shy to admit, the sex is actually hot. The gay guy who slips into a butt plug and then into a sweater vest—oooh, his smile matches your own dumb grin. IN HOUR FIVE, you’re curious. It’s impossible to determine what is a widespread fetish and what is a joke. Is pie-ing someone in the ass a

thing? What about wearing a creepy plastic mask while touching yourself? Christmas sweaters? Unitards? Cupcake fucking? You’re learning all kinds of stuff: You’ve now seen nipple tattoos and you know what a T. rex looks like with a boner. IN HOUR SIX, you break for lunch. Eating a salad roll covered in peanut sauce reminds you distinctly of the blowjobs you’ve recently seen. Ugh.

IN HO HOUR 10, you’re on the bus back home. Your mind is a sodden rag that cannot be wrung out. You are bewildered. You look around at the people on the bus. You imagine each of them in their bedrooms. That old woman with groceries. That guy reading a book. That bored waitress on the way to work. What a bunch of pervs. You know what they like. You’ve seen it all.

Continued on pg. 13

November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 11


HAND-PICKED FRESH WEEKLY.

®

HA WTHORNE BLVD 3 4 2 6 S E H a w t h o r n e t 5 0 3 2 3 3 747 6 PEARL DISTRICT 93 5 N W E v e r e t t t 5 0 3 5 9 5 4 9 7 0 S h o p o n l i n e a t Imeld a s AndLouies .c o m

It’s Greek. It’s Freak. It’s Cheek to Cheek.

BACCHANAL BALLROOM HAPPY HOUR WITH AN EDGE featuring THE BAWDY BEAUTIFUL REVIEW & DJ ZIMMIE 5:30–8:30 P.M. tHurSDaYS in nOVeMBer at the PORTLAND ART MUSEUM sponsored by

12 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012

portlandartmuseum.org/bacchanal


Cont in

ued from pg. 1

1

THE FI L M S

R

EGULAR PEOPLE from all over the country pitched a total of 90 five-minutes-or-less videos to HUMP! Everyone who submitted is creative and brave—but there’s only so much porn the normal person can withstand, so the jury whittled down the festival selections to the 27 very best films. you hate it when you’re jumping on your Rumpy Puppy: An animated starter with funny, trampoline in your unitard and you really floppy dicks. have to take a piss? Hot 'n Saucy Pizza Boy: A crusty cliché premBoy’s First Hook Up: Aww yeah, a virgin boy ise—gasp! A hot pizza delivery boy!—dishes up is lookin’ for a fuck and bites off a little more some surprisingly hot gay sex. than he can chew. When You Wank upon a Star: What if porn Dinner Party: You’ll never look at biscuits and star characters came to life? They’d probably cucumbers the same way again. be really sad and awkward, that’s what. Toeing the Line: Two dudes on a mission Beyondeep: The hottest lesbian sex always flesh out this rollicking music video about happens in creepy vans in the woods. Chick-fil-A, conga lines, and jerkin’ to Romney. D&D Orgy: Roll for experience as the dungeon Dirty Mind: An ’80s fangirl’s wildest fantasy master’s fantasy game gets extremely real. comes true when Prince arrives with a giant Magic Love: A straight stop-motion couple purple dildo. engages in adorable sex around their house. EdenXXX: Years’ worth of home video footage Mansmash: Jam-packed with horrifying imfrom two massively horny Burners condensed ages that will instantly sear into your brain, into two unforgettable minutes of furry hats, this flick combines masochism, absurdity, and glitter, and blowjobs galore. coconut milk with a speed metal soundtrack. Best Slumber Party Ever: Three cool girls pick Produce: Lesbians love kitchen sex—it’s a fact up, then tie up a loser, and proceed to get into confirmed in this certified organic romp about fun, naked pillow fights. Just like in real life. two ladies and their creative use of kale. D for You: Cute animated animals get some Pie Sluts: In the world of fetishes-I-don’tunderstand-but-are-entertaining-to-watch, serious boners. Peter and the Wolf: Set to the classic Sergei getting a pie in the face is right at the top. Prokofiev score, this cautionary tale of man The Perfect Stranger: It’s about godversus beast gets a queer twist. damn time HUMP! had some normal, sexy, Alice and Miles: Alice has the best breasts straight sex. you have ever seen in your life. Cinema 21 Man/Women: Is it a man? A woman? A manwill need to haul out the drool mop as she and nequin? A fetish? A joke? The world may Miles get it on. never know. The Beat: A man, a plan, a butt plug. Voyeur: A hot dude watches as two ladies in Milking Honeys: The only “art film” fishnets and high heels do some in HUMP! this year takes place pussy lickin’. on a farm where a young miss Dueling Dames: Every porn bathes herself in milk while festival needs a sepiaa cadre of cowboys make toned tumble in a Wild good use of the barn. West whorehouse. Boyfriend: The funniKrutch: Proving to the est pornographic, serialworld that people with murdering Justin Bieber disabilities have geni1. It will be more fun than you think. music video spoof known talia that work just fine. 2. It will make you feel normal. to man. Go Ahead, Pee!: Don’t

Coffee Fair

Three things to know about HUMP!

3. It will make you Google things you’d never thought you’d Google.

Get yo

ur H U M P! tic

kets so

Buy online at por

on! T he

tland m

Nov. 3 & 4

10am - 3pm

World Forestry Center • Portland, OR • www.worldforestry.org COFFEE ROASTERS

Nov. 5 & 6 10am - 3pm

TM

ut. shows always sell o

ercury.com/hump November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 13


Fri 11/2

Rubella Graves Lone Madrone Jackrabbit 9:30 p.m.

Sat 11/3

Marca Luna · Volifonix Frame by Frame 9:30 p.m.

Wed 11/7

The Royalty Grand Tarantula Bend Sinister The Hoons 9 p.m.

thursday, november 1 5:30 p.m. is “eagle time”

brothers oF the hound

ben unIon novostI symmetry/symmetry 8:30 p.m.

FrIday, november 2 5:30 p.m. is “eagle time”

reverb brothers saturday, november 3 4:30 p.m. is “eagle time”

the student loan sunday, november 4

JustIn rayFIeld tIme and the bell the sorry devIls 7 p.m.

monday, november 5

InFInIty oF It all wIll kInky 8:30 p.m.

tuesday, november 6

ascetIc JunkIes Goose & Fox leFty & the twIn 8:30 p.m.

COMING SOON:

The SuMNer brOTherS MIke COykeNdall 11/10 jOSh COle baNd STuMbleweed 11/11 daNIel rOdrIGuez The Sale 11/13 The veSperS kING ClIfTON 11/16 jaCkSTraw 11/9

14 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012

NEW! Covered patio with 6 outdoor heaters and a fire pit No card limits Big Fucking Deals Photobooth 2 oz. pours

14 NE 22ND

(22nd & NE Burnside)


MY, WHAT A BUSY WEEK! OUR ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT PICKS FOR THE WEEK OF NOVEMBER 1-7 THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 1 LOS MUERTOS—Halloween has come and gone, but Dia de los Muertos is in, with a cemetery-bound procession and an evening of entertainment from musicians like the startlingly talented Edna Vazquez, a dance performance, and a short play to “honor our ancestors.” MS Procession starts at Sunnyside Elementary, 3421 SE Salmon, 5 pm; show at Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 6:30 pm, $5, all ages until 9 pm

WINTER IS COMING—...and it’s First Thursday, which means it’s time to check out Reading Frenzy’s sure-to-be-badass Game of Thrones Fan Art Show—featuring Westeroscentric works from the likes of Zack Soto, Farel Dalrymple, the Mercury’s Suzette Smith, and more! EH Reading Frenzy, 921 SW Oak, 6 pm, FREE

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 2 HEY NEIGHBOR—Menomena are like those friends who you know live just around the corner but somehow rarely see. Wise enough to keep local listeners eagerly awaiting their periodic hometown performances, tonight they’re letting us have it, along with their latest album, Moms. MS w/Radiation City, Parenthetical Girls; Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 9 pm, $16-18, all ages

GENTLEMEN—I’m trying very hard not to string together 11,156 “EEEE”s and exclamation points about reunited ’90s wunderkinds the Afghan Whigs. Larynx-shredder Greg Dulli (!!) & Co. have been dishing out soul-infused rock in live shows that peel the paint from the walls and make crowds go apeshit. OMG! EEEEEEEEEEE!! PLAY “FOUNTAIN AND FAIRFAX”!!! CF w/Van Hunt; Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell, 9 pm, $35, 21+

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 3 GIANTS—There’s nothing tiny about the sound of Mr. Gnome. The Cleveland duo makes a whirling, infatuating sound that spans from cloud-soft dream to thunderous cataclysm. Between last year’s Madness in Miniature album and their powerhouse live show, Mr. Gnome are bound to be your new favorite band—if they’re not already. NL w/Eighteen Individual Eyes, And And And; Star Theater, 13 NW 6th, 9 pm, $10

BRING THE RUCKUS—Larry David is considered one of the architects of the modern television comedy. So it says something that stand-up JB Smoove, his co-star on Curb Your Enthusiasm, is consistently the funniest person on the show. BR Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, Thurs 8 pm, Fri-Sat 7:30 & 10 pm, $17-28

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 4 HITCH—Cinema 21’s pulling out all the stops with their week-long The Master of Suspense: The First Annual Hitchcock Festival, featuring 10 of Hitch’s best—all on 35mm! Today, choose from Marnie, The 39 Steps, Strangers on a Train, Notorious, or Rebecca—and go back for Vertigo, Rear Window, North by Northwest, and EVEN MORE. EH Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st, see Movie Times on pg. 43 for showtimes, $6 for single show, $9 for double feature, $40 for fest pass

CAT POWER—Oh, Chan Marshall, how you’ve changed. Gone are the days of rocky performances sabotaged by nerves and booze—with polished new album Sun, and a recent run of well-received shows, you’ve finally emerged as an artist in control of her talent and her voice, and we’re so glad to see it. AH w/the Goat; Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 8 pm, $35-38, all ages

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 5 SISTERLY LOVE—Give your ears a loving hug with the prismatic, soft-focus sounds of Twin Sister, who make nostalgic synthpop sound so damn emotional. Some songs make you want to dance! Some songs make you want to cry. Some songs will make you want to do both, just don’t freak anybody out on the dance floor. NL w/Pure Bathing Culture; Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water, 9 pm, $8-10

ROBOTIC PUPPETRY—Canadian DJ and turntablist Kid Koala is bringing his insane futuristic vaudevillian act to town! Besides hearing Kid klassics and songs from his new album, expect sexy girl fan dances, a giant cardboard working gramophone, and… robotic back-up singer puppets?!? The future is a weird place, man. WSH w/Adira Amram and the Experience; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8:30 pm, $15

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 6 TILLY’S PLAYHOUSE—It’s easy to imagine the childlike band Tilly and the Wall as blissed-out hosts of a long-forgotten children’s TV show from your youth. With their tapdancing percussion, goofball enthusiasm, sunglass-straining costumes, and catchy dancemakers, they’re a feel-good spot of sunshine in an ever-darkening autumn. CF w/Icky Blossoms, Adventure Galley; Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th, 8 pm, $13.50-15, all ages

ELECTION NIGHT PARTY!—The best party of 2008 is happening again! The Mercury Election Night Wing-a-Ding-Ding is everything you want as a concerned voter: election results on the big screen, comedy (Ian Karmel), games (“Mormon or No?”), smarty-pants analysis (City Commissioner-elect Steve Novick), music (DJ Gregarious), booze (Booze), and tons more! Oh, and it’s free. WSH Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, doors 6 pm, entertainment 7 pm, FREE, 21+

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 7 CANUCK STARS—Canada has given us so much over the years: maple syrup, rotary snowplows, and Stars (the band, not the burning ball of gas). With that angsty, sparsely populated sound we’ve come to expect from our Northern neighbors, the Toronto band produces hot jams akin to Broken Social Scene or Metric. So put on your good muff and come on out, eh? RF w/Jets Overhead; Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 8 pm, $20, all ages

LEGOS—This is Portland. Toys aren’t just for kids, for better or for worse, which is why the monthly Brick or Block Lego Tournaments at Cruzroom have become such cutthroat affairs. Co-presented with ShanRock’s Triviology, come prepared to marvel at the amount of creativity your citymates have to burn on Legos. AH Cruzroom, 2338 NE Alberta, 7 pm (limit 8 teams, 2-6 people per team), FREE

- - - as the - - CHAINSAW

TURNS Can the Timbers Grow Back from This Season? by Brian Gjurgevich PLAYER ANDREW JEAN-BAPTISTE says he isn’t much of a betting man. But when the Timbers Army resorts to bribery? Yeah, he’ll play ball. The task? Stop Major League Soccer’s top scorer—San Jose’s Chris Wondolowski— from nabbing the league record for singleseason goals during the Timbers’ finale on October 27. The payoff? A tattoo of JeanBaptiste’s choice, paid in full by one of his Twitter followers. “Maybe a rose for the Rose City,” JeanBaptiste says post-game, lamenting the loss of the free ink, along with the controversial call that led to Wondolowski’s record-tying penalty-kick goal. Then again, missing out on complimentary body art might have been a blessing for the Brooklyn native. After all, who’d want a permanent reminder of the 2012 Timbers season? Portland’s second-year big-league franchise finished eighth in the Western Conference, scoring eight fewer goals and winning three fewer matches than their inaugural season. The Timbers lost to an amateur team at home and won just once on the road. They fired their head coach midway through the season, parted ways with fan favorites, then gave the architect behind those deals—General Manager Gavin Wilkinson—the coaching reins. They were out of the postseason hunt before the end of August, and if not for claiming the supporters-exalted Cascadia Cup, the Timbers’ season would’ve been a clear-cut disaster. The team and its front offi ce understand this. It’s why players circled the pitch post-fi nale with a sign that read, “To the league’s best fans: We will repay you.” It’s also why owner Merritt Paulson told fans at the club’s “Stand Together” charity banquet that, eventually, 2012 would be viewed as a “seminal” campaign. To reach such sunny revisionist history, Paulson will look to new coach Caleb Porter, who will arrive in town shortly after his University of Akron Zips finish up their season. Hailed by Paulson as “the best young soccer mind in the country,” Porter will have a host of college-age talent at his disposal, including Jean-Baptiste (20 years old), Kalif Alhassan (22), Brent Richards (22), Jake Gleeson (22), Ian Hogg (22), Ryan Kawulok (22), Danny Mwanga (21), Jose Aldolfo Valencia (20), Sebastián Rincón (18), and Charles Renken (18). In addition to developing his greenest players, Porter must help burgeoning 22-year-old star Darlington Nagbe—who played for Porter at Akron—reach his thus-far-untapped potential. Between now and Porter’s arrival, however, Jean-Baptiste is looking at a far less permanent motivation than any tattoo. A small piece of tape scrawled with the phrase “YOU SUCK” hangs in his locker—an inside motivational tactic between him and fellow rookie Rincón. Jean-Baptiste says he’s excited as anyone in the locker room about Porter’s arrival, but a coach can only do so much. If the Timbers are to rise, their young talent will need to bud together. “Criticism is only going to make us better,” Jean-Baptiste says of he and Rincón’s working relationship. “If he can’t take it from me, he can’t take it from a coach.” November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 15

DE


MUSIC

Maximum R&B

The Afghan Whigs Come Uptown Again by Ned Lannamann “THERE WAS NEVER any kind of with 1993’s Gentlemen, an album that ‘fuck you’ moment in our band,” Greg most casual Whigs listeners point to as the their peak. But the followDulli says. “All of our ‘fuck you’ moments happened be- The Afghan Whigs up, 1996’s Black Love, is not Fri Nov 2 only superior, it’s perhaps the fore we became a band.” Wonder Ballroom finest record of the 1990s—a The band Dulli’s referring 128 NE Russell tangled, misunderstood noir to, of course, is the Afghan Whigs—the legendary Cincinnati group concept album that remains the best that became the most artistically signifi- evidence of the band’s unique marriage cant non-grunge American rock band to of snarling hard rock, tightly fluid funk, have come of age in the ’90s. The Whigs soulful R&B, and cinematic storytelling. rose up through the Sub Pop ranks, rode Black Love is gorgeous head-to-toe, a the alternative nation wave, and gar- swooningly romantic record that shows nered critical acclaim and a substantial remarkable growth from Gentlemen’s cult following, but they never became adolescent petulance. With Dulli soundthe colossal success they deserved to be. ing like he’s spitting blood onto the miNo radio smash single, no Rolling Stone crophone with each larynx-shredding take, Black Love is an uncommon, seemcover, no Super Bowl halftime show. Now the band’s three main mem- ingly impossible thing—a suspenseful bers—Dulli, guitarist Rick McCollum, record, from the slow-burning build of and bassist John Curley—have reunited “Crime Scene Part One” to the heartfollowing their breakup more than a de- break anthem of “Summer’s Kiss” to the cade ago. “We didn’t have musical dif- stop-start fatigue of the gorgeous “Step ferences,” says Dulli. “We were three into the Light.” “Black Love was not Gentlemen 2,” guys who had spent a decade [together] and changed together. And we made—in says Dulli, “and I think a lot of times 10 years, we had six records and 1,500 people are looking for that kind of sequel shows, and a lot of bad habits along the vibe when they like something. It sort of way from various people, including my- always felt like the misunderstood child, self. It became a rough life that became so I’ve always been very protective over it. unsustainable for all parties involved. It’s weirdly sort of the one we’re playing We shook hands and wished each other the most off of, so it’s been fun to let it fly.” In the meantime, Dulli, McCollum, and well and walked away. ” The band’s big breakthrough came Curley are enjoying the reunion shows im-

Uncaged Heat

Nucular Aminals Are on the Loose by Ryan J. Prado

MUSIC

2012 WAS GOING to be the year Nucu- sion—recording at Type Foundry in Portlar Aminals built on their already prolific land with Jason Powers—was one of the recording output and touring regimen best experiences they’ve shared as a band. “[Recording Start from with a new album of sideways, weirdo rock. A big piece of that Nucular Aminals an End] went way above my Sat Nov 3 expectations,” says Schmith. puzzle was planned studio time The Know “I’m really jazzed on how the with Steve Albini in Chicago at 2026 NE Alberta whole project worked.” Electrical Audio—a milestone Foregoing the comforts of vocalist/guiexperience for any band. But following the release of a self-titled album on K Records tarist Robert Comitz’s basement studio, last year, the Portland quartet decided to Frawg Pound, the band found a kindred self-release their new LP, Start from an spirit in Powers while also expanding End, and shelved a nationwide tour sched- their grungy panorama of punkish noise. uled around the Albini session, citing Start from an End benefits from a liberal host of instrumentation, guitar effects, mounting expenses. “With how much it costs just to put the melodic tension, and moody psychedelics. record out yourself, it would have been The album’s opener, “Family Barber,” sets ridiculous to spend that much money on an ominous tone with huge timpani strikes your own and then add recording with [Al- and a jarring minor-note guitar progression. Drummer Wiley Hickson’s fi ll-heavy bini],” says organist Erin Schmith. To generate the funds to record with drumming on the new album indicates Albini, Nucular Aminals had launched a a less poppy aesthetic for the band, with Kickstarter-style fundraiser via Band- bassist Jheremy Grigsby’s meandering camp, sweetening the pot with demo ver- bass and Schmith’s creepy organ tickles sions of the songs and the fi nal copy of unfurling a darker, heavier Nucular Amitheir new album when it was done. As for- nals than on previous recordings. “I guess I’m just not personally into retune would have it, everyone who backed the project is still getting all of that. And ally reserved music right now,” says Comiserendipity being what it is, Nucular Ami- tz. “I like stuff to get a little dirtier or disnals’ alternative solution to the Albini ses- cordant. Playing major and minor chords 16 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012

mensely. “Honestly, I think we play better and we’re nicer people now,” Dulli says. “If it’s possible, I just think we’re… I think it’s maybe the best version of the group because of playing ability and get-alongability. It’s pretty good. We’ve turned into a—not that I had any doubt, but we’re pretty deadly right now.”

Whatever factors contributed to the Afghan Whigs’ initial breakup are part and parcel of the long-term friendship and collaboration that fuel the band’s engine. “It was really a whole lot of factors, and mostly just scorched-earth policy, you know. We just kind of burnt the landscape to the ground and had to walk away. John had a baby; he wasn’t going on tour. Rick fell in love; he wasn’t going on tour. I had gone insane; I wasn’t going on tour. Everyone back to your respective corners until further notice!” says Dulli. “And this is the further notice tour.”

THE AFGHAN WHIGS They are neither wearing wigs nor cuddled up in afghans. FAIL.

was getting boring; now I’m just trying to see which notes sound cool.” A prime example of this leaf-turning approach is the bass-heavy, single-note progression of “Downstairs Children,” which provides a compelling vivisection of Nucular Aminals’ playful, quirky boldness, and a snapshot of their emerging technical prowess. The band has audibly grown together, as well as individually—if nothing else, Start from an End ought to pole vault the band past being a mere blip on the radar screen of Northwest punk and into the larger consciousness of anyone with an eclectic musical palate.

SAM HOLDEN

Following a West Coast tour through November, the band heads to Europe for three weeks in March—their fi rst time overseas. With two US tours and two West Coast tours already under their belts, the band seems confident about keeping their sanity in such close quarters so far away from home. “We all stay pretty friendly on tour. We have a couple fist fights here and there,” says Hickson. “You just gotta get it out of your system, and then we’re fi ne just not even talking about it again,” adds Comitz. “It’s like, ‘Sorry I gave you a bloody nose.’”

CAILIN W. CARLILE

NUCULAR AMINALS You have to touch the keys in order to make sounds come out of it.

Comment on these stories at portlandmercury.com


November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 17


MIND BLOWING PSYCHE-ROCK FROM SF - ALL AGES STYLE

OCTOPUS ENTERTAINMENT’S ONE-YEAR BIRTHDAY PARTY

THURSDAY!

MOSLEY WOTTA FRIDAY! TANGO ALPHA TANGO SYMMETRY/ SYMMETRY +BEN UNION

FRIDAY DECEMBER 2

$8 ADVANCE

THEE OH SEES

TOTAL CONTROL

THURSDAY DECEMBER 1

The SEA & CAKE SATURDAY!

LIA ICES

+1939 ENSEMBLE

SATURDAY DECEMBER 3

$15 ADVANCE

AN INTIMATE LATE NIGHT AFFAIR WITH UK INDIE ROCKERS

THE KOOKS

+THE MEAN JEANS

JAZZ-INFLECTED, INDIE-POST-ROCK FROM LEGENDARY CHICAGO QUARTET

$12 ADVANCE

RUSTIC BACKWOODS AMERICANA FROM SEATTLE TRIO

SATURDAY! MAKE IT A NIGHT Present that night’s show ticket and get $3 off any menu item Sun - Thur in the dining room

THE

CAVE SINGERS +MY GOODNESS

SUNDAY DECEMBER 4 •

$14 ADVANCE

BELOVED INDIE ROCK FROM SAN DIEGO COLLECTIVE

The BLACK HEART

PROCESSION

830 E BURNSIDE • 503-231-WOOD • www.dougfirlounge.com

DOUG FIR RESTAURANT + BAR OPEN 7AM–2:30AM EVERYDAY

$15 ADVANCE

SWIRLING JAZZ-ROCK FROM GARAGE-A-TROIS ORGANIST

MARCO

THURSDAY DECEMBER 8

& THE SIXERS

EARLY SHOW DOORS AT 7:30PM SHOW AT 8:00PM $16 ADVANCE

SELF GROUP & DOUG FIR LOUNGE PRESENT

FRIDAY DECEMBER 9

$13 ADVANCE

LOST LANDER

MOON

SATURDAY DECEMBER 10

Doors at 9pm Show at 9:30pm - LATE SHOW! $10 ADVANCE

INFECTIOUS GARAGE-POP FROM PDX ROCKERS

The ANGRY ORTS TENNIS PRO

$8 ADVANCE

A PRE-HOLIDAY SOIREE WITH PDX FOLK-ROCK ENSEMBLE

AGES AND AGES

FRIDAY DECEMBER 23

$10 ADVANCE

ROCK MEETS HIP-HOP FROM LA DUO VIA NOLA

THE KNUX

$8 ADVANCE

AUGUSTANA $18 ADVANCE

$11 ADVANCE

HOWE

GELB +TRACY SHEDD

$10 ADVANCE

THURSDAY DECEMBER 15

$14 ADVANCE

A CO-HEADLINE EVENING OF UP-AND-COMING INDIE ROCK AN EVENING OF PDX ROOTS-ROCK & AMERICANA

THE LOW

BONES

$8 ADVANCE

DOUG FIR PRESENTS A SPECIAL NYE BLOWOUT, PDX STYLE

WEINLAND’S NEW YEAR’S EVE SUPERGROUP

+GRAFFITI 6

& THE SWEET HEREAFTER

WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 14

SATURDAY DECEMBER 17

AN INTIMATE EVENING WITH SO-CAL ROCKERS

SUNDAY JANUARY 22

INDIE POP NOSTALGIA FROM GIRL-BOY DENVER DUO

JESSE SYKES

THE TUMBLERS ROB STROUP & THE BLAME +ED & THE RED REDS

A SPECIAL EVENING WITH THE GODFATHER OF ALT-COUNTRY

JORDY TOWERS +TOPE (of Living Proof)

+HELLOKOPTER

FRIDAY DECEMBER 16

SUNDAY DECEMBER 11

MINIATURE TIGERS +DEVON WILLIAMS

RADIATION CITY +BRIGHT ARCHER

ON THE

$12 ADVANCE

ALL AGES MATINEE!! Doors at 4:30pm, Show at 5pm $15 ADVANCE

MONDAY DECEMBER 12

MANSIONS

TENNIS

BUZZ-BUILDING INDIE ELECTRO POP FROM LA TRIO

TUESDAY DECEMBER 13

CASS MCCOMBS BAND

THE DANDY WARHOLS

STEPHEN KELLOGG

WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 7

+FULERO & DAY: A TRIBUTE TO ELLIOTT SMITH

INFECTIOUS LYRICISM FROM BELOVED NOMADIC SINGER/SONGWRITER

A SPECIAL ALL-AGES MATINEE WITH PDX ROCKERS

+JON McLAUGHLIN

BENEVENTO

WHITE MAGIC +MICHAEL HURLEY

+DRAMADY

TUESDAY DECEMBER 6

MONDAY DECEMBER 5

SERVING BREAKFAST, LUNCH, DINNER, LATE-NIGHT. FOOD SPECIALS 3-6 PM EVERYDAY, COVERED SMOKING PATIO, FIREPLACE ROOM, LOTS OF LOG. LIVE SHOWS IN THE LOUNGE... AN EVENING OF HIGH ENERGY ALT-ROCK

CHELSEA WOLFE

+YAWN

LATE SHOW! Doors at 9:30pm, Show at 10:30pm $20 ADVANCE

SATURDAY DECEMBER 31

$16 ADVANCE

THE

FLING YUKON BLONDE +BATTLEME

SUNDAY DECEMBER 18

$10 ADVANCE

ALABAMA SHAKES (early show) - 1/28 CRAIG FINN (The Hold Steady) - 2/23 JOHN K SAMSON & THE PROVINCIAL BAND - 4/2 BOWERBIRDS - 4/4 METRONOMY - 4/10 FIRST AID KIT - 4/12 All of these shows on sale at Ticketfly.com

SONS OF HUNS 12/21 • DREW GROW & THE PASTOR’S WIVES 12/22 • LESSER KNOWN CHARACTERS 12/27 • OH DARLING 12/28 RAMBLE ON 12/30 • CASEY NEIL & THE NORWAY RATS 1/7 • EMILY WELLS 1/12 • PICKWICK 1/13 •THROWBACK SUBURBIA 1/14 ADVANCE TICKETS AT TICKETFLY - www.tickfly.com and at JACKPOT RECORDS • SUBJECT TO SERVICE CHARGE &/OR USER FEE ALL SHOWS: 8PM DOORS / 9PM SHOW • 21+ UNLESS NOTED • BOX OFFICE OPENS 1/2 HOUR BEFORE DOORS • ROOM PACKAGES AVAILABLE AT www.jupiterhotel.com

18 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012


MUSIC

Jens Lekman Knows What Love Isn’t by Courtney Ferguson

JENS LEKMAN has never been accused ing through Melbourne, feeding possums of feeling too little. He’s a songwriter full in a park: “It’s the story of no story,” he says. “I think it’s about the aimof effervescent melodies, clever Jens Lekman lessness that follows a breakwordplay, and a self-effacing Sat Nov 3 up… You go to the park and you case of heart-on-sleeve. But Aladdin Theater ride your bike and everything before now, the Swede always 3017 SE Milwaukie is normal… you don’t underseemed like the breaker-upper in love’s fallout. With his new album I stand why the stars aren’t falling from the Know What Love Isn’t, Lekman is show- sky. You think the world should stop and grieve with you.” ing the telltale signs of a broken heart. While the new album is subtle, it has It’s been five years since Lekman’s Night Falls over Kortedala, a grandiose some of Lekman’s finest songs to date, like album of horns and Brill Building bril- the melodious and shambolic “The World liance. During that stretch, Lekman re- Moves On” and “The End of the World Is leased an EP, but recording a full-length Bigger Than Love.” But album highlight proved difficult. “I struggled mostly with “Become Someone Else’s”—with the line the dramaturgy of it. I realized that some “sleeping on my arm/until it becomes somesongs didn’t belong, and that’s when I fi n- one else’s”—truly resonates, and reveals ished the EP An Argument with Myself. facets like a dusty ring. In that one brief As soon as I got rid of those, I saw which lyric, there’s Jens sleeping on his arm until direction I was going,” Lekman says via it, too, falls asleep and no longer feels like his own, or maybe he’s letting his current fling phone from Gothenburg, Sweden. Indeed, I Know What Love Isn’t is sleep there until he moves on, or perhaps focused, with fewer flourishes than Lek- he’s using his arm as a pillow until he finds man’s back catalog. But its relative sim- someone to love, and then it becomes hers. plicity belies the mess of a breakup. “The Even pared down, the man knows how to World Moves On” fi nds Lekman wander- pack a magnificent symphonic wallop.

Natural American Spirit® is a registered trademark of Santa Fe Natural Tobacco Co. © SFNTC 4 2012

Feeding Possums

stand up for what you believe in, and

VOTE November 6

KRISTIN LIDELL

JENS LEKMAN “Today I will write about my arm falling asleep. Genius!”

METZ vs. the World

Toronto’s Reluctant Great White Hype by Mark Lore

MUSIC

METZ PLAY the kind of rock music that comparisons, METZ are measurably more makes you feel like you’re having a sei- rigid than those aforementioned bands. METZ’s songs—11 in total—tend zure. Everything, and I mean evMETZ to bleed together, often relying on erything, is shoved well past the Sat Nov 3 the same dynamics. red and into the white hot. Melody Bunk Bar But those a re only minor is nonexistent. Just listening to 1028 SE Water gripes—some of the same qualities the Toronto trio’s debut album is exhausting—I can only imagine what it’s are also inherent in metal. What METZ lack in dynamics, they more than make up like to play this music live. For the past four years, METZ have for in intensity and attention to sonic prodone exactly that, perfecting their ear- pulsion. Spiky guitars cut like lasers, laynumbing songs in sweaty clubs and base- ered and run through with so many effects ments before fi nally committing them that they barely sound as if they’re being to tape. Taking their time has paid off. played by human hands. Drums are NeMETZ’s self-titled Sub Pop album is a slab anderthal in the best possible sense; bass of post-apocalyptic punk rock that’s as lurks underneath the rest of the squalor. It should be noted that these aren’t kids tightly wound as it is tightly played. Simwe’re talking about here. The members— ply put: These guys don’t fuck around. Since the album’s release last month, guitarist/vocalist Alex Edkins, bassist METZ have been greeted with glowing Chris Slorach, and drummer Hayden reviews from the UK’s Guardian to the Menzies—are all in their early 30s, which New Yorker. And while the band can be bodes well for METZ. They’re at that exhilarating to listen to, they’re not infal- perfect age where primal meets cerebral. lible. They’ve been called post-hardcore Whether METZ will continue to live up to and have been compared to the likes of the hype remains to be seen. Not that it Nirvana and the Melvins, and while songs matters; I get the feeling these guys will like “Wasted” and “Get Off” support those stop at nothing to make it to the bottom.

cigarettes

NaturalAmericanSpirit.com Website Restricted to 21+

November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 19 Portland Mercury Vote Ad 10-04-12_11-01-12.pdf 1

8/6/12 4:44 PM


20 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012


UP&COMING THIS WEEK’S MUSIC PREVIEWS

(5 0 3) 2 3 2 - 0 0 5 6

bookingeastend@gmail.com

www.eastendpdx.net

THURSDAY 1 /1 ETERNAL TAPESTRY, HOT VICTORY, MIDDAY VEIL, GRAPEFRUIT FRIDAY 1 /2 JANUARIEZ, PINK SLIP, GOOD SONS, RIGHT ON JOHN

SATURDAY 1 /3 MY NEW VICE, 42 FORD PREFECT, STUMBLE BUM

CAT POWER, Crystal Ballroom, 11/4 STEFANO GIOVANNINI

THURSDAY 11/1 DIA DE LOS MUERTOS: ORQUESTRA PACIFICO TROPICAL, EDNA VASQUEZ, DEATH SONGS

(Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 15.

SERA CAHOONE, THE PARSON RED HEADS, DESERT NOISES (Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) Sera Cahoone continues a streak of oddly trance-inducing country on her new fulllength Deer Creek Canyon, her third LP solo record (out on Sub Pop) since her days as drummer for Seattle’s Carissa’s Wierd. Warm production, feel-good/feel-bad dynamics, and lilting vocal melodies provide more than a few engaging moments on Deer Creek Canyon, and Cahoone’s arresting lyrics are situated center-stage for the savory, sweet, or sour in all of us. Take the transitory brood of the slow-burning “Naked” and its subsequent launch into the pick-and-grin campfire ditty “Nervous Wreck”—Cahoone’s ability to weave her songwriting in and out of alt-country hallmarks and to shift emotional gears throughout the album makes it an inwardly scathing sort of journey. Whether you feel like shit about everything afterward is up to you. RYAN J. PRADO

FRIDAY 11/2

MENOMENA, RADIATION CITY, PARENTHETICAL GIRLS (Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 15.

stomping, hollering, and ringleading. Playing wooden instruments and found percussion—pieces of which would be handed out to audience members—the band initially performed as buskers outside of other venues without the help of any amplification. But as word grew, so did the crowds, and the Builders and the Butchers quickly vaulted their way to the top of Portland’s mustsee-band list. They’re still as good as ever, thanks to their indefatigable live energy and guitarist/songwriter Ryan Sollee’s expert songwriting, and local label Jealous Butcher is gracing us with a vinyl reissue of their great 2007 self-titled debut. Seeing Portland’s homegrown version of a New Orleans funeral band inside the intimate LaurelThirst Public House is going to be undoubtedly exciting, and probably sweaty. NL

SUNDAY 1 /4 DI DI MAU, SIOUX CITY PETE AND THE BEGGARS, K TEL ‘79, GUN PARTY, W/ DJ ROXY EPOXY

WEDS. 11/7 RABBITS, OWL, CRAG DWELLER, HEAVY VOODOO IT’S WORTH SHARING.

SATURDAY 11/3 MR. GNOME, AND AND AND, EIGHTEEN INDIVIDUAL EYES

(Star Theater, 13 NW 6th) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 15.

NUCULAR AMINALS, THE WHINES, TINY KNIVES (The Know, 2026 NE Alberta) See Music, pg. 16.

JENS LEKMAN, TAKEN BY TREES (Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie) See Music, pg. 19.

METZ, BISON BISON (Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water) See Music, pg. 19.

SEA WOLF, HEY MARSEILLES THE AFGHAN WHIGS, VAN HUNT (Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 15, and Music, pg. 16.

WOODEN INDIAN BURIAL GROUND, AU DUNES (Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) With shrieking-banshee guitar and a caravan full of echo, Wooden Indian Burial Ground have delivered one of the best records of the year—local or otherwise. The Portland four-piece’s new self-titled album, whose vinyl incarnation came out October 30 on Mon Amie Records, is a devastating, earthquaking trip to catatonia by the funnest means possible. The heavy, dirty, garage squalor sounds like it will cast out old evil spirits and attract some new ones along the way. While they haven’t quite broken through to name recognition in their own hometown, with the release of the eight-song Wooden Indian Burial Ground I confidently expect that to change; the group deservedly made a splash at CMJ a couple weeks back, and this record shows all that they’re capable of. It’s fearsome and awesome. Time to get on board. NED LANNAMANN

STATIC: ROMAN ZAWODNY, CTRL_ALT_DLT, SONE (Groove Suite, 440 NW Glisan) All too often, people pigeonhole the world of techno music as being mercilessly overrun by bad top-40 remixes with cheesy fouron-the-floor beats that go nowhere, and rightly so—in some cases. But if you know where to look, you’ll be inducted into a realm of music that inspires a type of musical energy unique in its ability to make you rock out. Portland underground electronic label SubSensory Records, notorious for pumping out the jams, hosts this evening’s celebration of the heritage of electronica by featuring some of Seattle’s most dynamic players. Roman Zawodny, whose sound has been described as “genre defying” by techno luminary Dave Clarke, alongside Ctrl_Alt_Dlt (Chris Aldrich) and Sone (Brian Sonnleitner) will give us a post-Halloween Friday night to remember. Costumes are encouraged, and don’t forget your dancing shoes. CHRISTINA BROUSSARD

THE BUILDERS AND THE BUTCHERS (LaurelThirst Public House, 2958 NE Glisan) Junk-folkpunk-busk band the Builders and the Butchers came messily into this world on Halloween weekend of 2005, and tonight they celebrate seven years of clattering,

(Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) Sea Wolf’s new album, Old World Romance, marks a return to frontman Alex Church flying mostly solo, a big departure from 2009’s White Water, White Bloom. But even with the drum machines and flawless production, this third album emerges as Sea Wolf’s most mature and captivating. Understated and personal, Old World Romance makes authentic connections rather than bombarding listeners with an occasionally histrionic assault of feelings, something I always find hard to relate to. Perhaps Sea Wolf went to therapy and learned “I feel” language. Whatever the cause, the dreamy textures, pared-down electronics, and swelling Church-on-Church harmonies create an atmosphere of introspective hopefulness. My favorite song, “In Nothing,” features bass melodies and Ian McCulloch-style vocals, a singular foray into the 1980s on this mostly very contemporarysounding album. REBECCA WILSON

Happy Hour 2 – 8pm DAILY 3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Open Everyday 2pm-2:30am

OREGON SYMPHONY: MAHLER’S SIXTH (Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway) Gustav Mahler was a much better human than I’ll ever be. Case in point: If someone gave me a sledgehammer, my first impulse would be to enter Ned Lannamann’s pathetic cubicle at the Mercury offices and start swinging away at any computer (or fingers) I could find, with the aim of silencing this hopelessly uninformed, wildly myopic, so-called music editor for a good long while. Luckily, when the muses presented Mr. Mahler with a sledgehammer, the composer bravely resisted any destructive inclinations, and instead inserted this bluntest of instruments into his Symphony No. 6. The epic work might be labeled a symphony on paper, but in a live performance, this music will be nothing less than cathartic sacrament—nearly 90 solid minutes of 96 classically trained musicians on the Schnitzer stage wrestling with sonic nihilism and bitter chaos! Folks, this is Gustav fucking Mahler we’re talking about here. Witness. This. Show. ANGRY SYMPHONY GUY

OLD LIGHT, HUNGRY GHOST (Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi) It’s hard not to think that Old Light could be the collective musical fantasy of every Caucasian dad in America—at least those who own the entire CSNY catalog in every existing format. These are the same people who are eternally mystified by rap, which they are convinced is the only thing that anyone under the age of 30 listens to. This

November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 21


MERCURY / DANTE’S & STAR + PIZZA WW / DANTE’S & STAR

isto ric

c

LiveMusic, Music,Cabaret, Cabaret,Burlesque Burlesque&&Rock-n-Roll Rock-n-Roll Live

The New ly Res tore d His tori c

503-226-6630 • Open Daily 11am-2:30am •

w11am-2:30am . d a n t• e s l i v e . c o m •w OpenwDaily d . c o 503-226-6630 m

w w w . d a n t e101.9 s KINK l i FMvHALLOWEEN e.co m PARTY!

WEDNESDAY 101.9 KINK FM HALLOWEEN PARTY! OCT 31 WEDNESDAY OCT 31

LUKAS LUKAS NELSON NELSON

WILLIE WILLIE NELSON’S NELSON’S SON THE TY CURTIS BAND & BICYCLE THIEF SON $13 ADV 9PM

$13 ADV 9PM

MERCURY / DANTE’S & STAR + PIZZA

The Newly Restored Histori

THE TY CURTIS BAND & BICYCLE THIEF

www.StarTheaterPortland.com www.StarTheaterPortland.com

WEDNESDAY OCT 31 WEDNESDAYOCT31 WEDNESDAY OCT WEDNESDAYOCT31 THE TRANSYLVANIAN VOODOO BALL 31 THE TRANSYLVANIAN VOODOO BALL THE TRANSYLVANIAN VOODOO BALL THE TRANSYLVANIAN VOODOO BALL VAGABOND OPERA 10-YEAR ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION VAGABOND OPERA PLUS CHERVONA PLUS CHERVONA! 10-YEAR ANNIVERSARY!CELEBRATION

RACHEL BRICE - DUM SPIRO SPERO FLIP CASSIDY & THE JUNKYARD GOSPEL KAROLINA LUX - TAROT BY DINO TAROT COSTUME CONTESTS - DAY OF THE DEAD ALTAR RACHEL BRICE - DUM SPIRO SPERO FLIP CASSIDY & THE JUNKYARD GOSPEL KAROLINA LUX - TAROT BY DINO TAROT COSTUME CONTESTS - DAY OF THE DEAD ALTAR

$5 ADV - 9PM

BIG DAMN BIG DAMN BAND BAND

$10 ADV 9:30PM

SASSPARILLA & SPECIAL GUESTS SASSPARILLA & SPECIAL SASSPARILLA &PEG SPECIAL GUESTS GUESTS SQUARE

L!

S

KET IE

SATURDAY NOV 3 SATURDAY

CONCERTS SQUARE PEGPRESENTS CONCERTS $15 ADV 9:30PM PRESENTS

NOV 3

$15 ADV 9:30PM

WITH ACORN

PROJECT

WITH ACORN

PROJECT

MR. MR. GNOME GNOME

$10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

AND AND AND EIGHTEEN AND AND AND INDIVIDUAL EYES EIGHTEEN INDIVIDUAL EYES

$10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

TRIP-HOP POP-ROCK FROM ONE OF LA’S HOTTEST BANDS TRIP-HOP POP-ROCK FROM ONE OF LA’S HOTTEST BANDS

$10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

8MM

LUKAS NELSON

SONIC SMACKDOWN KICKOFF SHOW!

CROWN POINT • SUNDROP

AMERICAN ROULETTE

$5 ADV - 9PM

REV. PEYTONS

FRIDAY

BIG DAMN BAND

NOV 2

$10 ADV 9:30PM

$10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

TUESDAY NOV 6 TUESDAYNOV6 TUESDAY NOV 6 TUESDAYNOV6 8MM

NOV 3

SQUARE PEG CONCERTS PRESENTS

WEDNESDAY OCT 31 WEDNESDAYOCT31 $16 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

THE TRANSYLVANIAN VOODOO BALL THE TRANSYLVANIAN VOODOO BALL

VAGABOND OPERA 10-YEAR ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION PLUS CHERVONA! PLUS CHERVONA!

RACHEL BRICE - DUM SPIRO SPERO FLIP CASSIDY & THE JUNKYARD GOSPEL KAROLINA LUX - TAROT BY DINO TAROT COSTUME CONTESTS - DAY OF THE DEAD ALTAR

FRIDAY NOV 2 FRIDAYNOV

$10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

WITH ACORN

SATURDAY NOV 3 SATURDAYNOV

WITH SUGARCANE Burlesque, Firedancers In Town!” DJs, Magic & Debauchery! SUNDAY MONDAY Best Show Firedancers 4Magic“The NOV 5 In Town!” & Debauchery! SUNDAYNOVDJs,Burlesque, MONDAY

$15 ADV 9:30PM

EIGHTEEN INDIVIDUAL EYES

NOV 5

So You Wanna Be A ROCK STAR ?

cabaret KARAOKE WITH A LIVE BAND So You Wanna Be A ROCK STAR!? FOR ANOTHER 20 YEARS c a b a r e9pmt - NU WAVE MACHINE KARAOKE WITH A LIVE BAND 9pm - NU WAVE MACHINE

NOV 6

NOV 6 10pm $3

8pm Showtime

DSL FRIDAY NOV 10 FRIDAY 8pm Showtime

NOV 10

FOR ! S THEANOTHER 20 YEARS

H S O H W O open mic comedy with hostess dirt starrW love

THE

10pm $3

open mic comedy with hostess dirt starr love

$10 ADV 9:30PM

COMING SOON COMING 10/31 Lukas Nelson SOON 11/1 American Roulette

10/31 Lukas Nelson & Crown Point $10 ADV 11/1 American Roulette 9:30PM 11/2 Rev. Peyton’s Big Damn Band & Crown Point 11/3 Cash’d Out 11/2 Rev. Big Damn Band 11/4Peyton’s Sinferno Cabaret 11/3 Cash’d 11/5 Karaoke Out From Hell 11/4 Sinferno Cabaret 11/6 Chuck-n-Buck Show 11/5 Karaoke FromShow Hell R 11/7 Free Rock 11/6 Chuck-n-Buck Show 11/8 Crazy Delicious Comedy THE COPYRIGHTS 11/7 Free Rock Show 11/10 Two Cow Garage Delicious I CAN LICK ANY SOB IN THE HOUSE11/8 Crazy THE COPYRIGHTS 11/11 Squidling BrosComedy FreakShow Two Cow Garage 11/10 DARLIN & Sinferno Cabaret I CAN LICK TRUCKSTOP ANY SOB IN THE HOUSE 11/1111/14 Squidling Bros FreakShow Rebirth Brass Band TRUCKSTOP DARLIN & Sinferno 11/15 Spittin’Cabaret Cobras Rebirth Band 11/1411/29 SonicBrass Smackdown Spittin’ Cobras 11/1511/30 Eric McFadden Sonic Smackdown 11/29 NOV 15 12/1 Cherry Poppin’ Daddies EricMickey McFadden 11/3012/2 Avalon NOV 15 $8 ADV Poppin’ Daddies 12/1 Cherry 9PM 12/7 Miss Exotic Finals 12/2 Mickey Avalon $8 ADV 12/8 Hillstomp 9PM Exotic 12/7 Miss 12/9 Jet BlackFinals Pearl 12/8 Hillstomp 12/13 Corrosion of Conformity 12/9 Jet Pearl 12/14Black Nicky Croon & 12/13 Corrosion of Conformity The Swingin’ Richards 12/1412/15 NickyHigh CroonOn & Fire POLECAT The Swingin’ Richards 12/16 Miss Kennedy’s Cabaret 12/1512/21 High On Of Fire Monsters Rock 12/16TICKETS Miss Kennedy’s AVAILABLECabaret @ DANTE’S, STAR THEATER 12/21 Monsters Of AND Rock WWW.DANTESLIVE.COM

TICA ICA

TWO COW TWO COW GARAGE GARAGE

FERNO THURSDAY P THURSDAY

ALABAMA BLACK SNAKE ALABAMA BLACK SNAKE THE HUGS THE HUGS

NOV 14

D AND.COM

OO BALL

TICKETS AVAILABLE @ DANTE’S, OR CALL 503-345-7892 STAR THEATER AND WWW.DANTESLIVE.COM OR CALL 503-345-7892

REBIRTH REBIRTH REBIRTH REBIRTH BRASS BRASS BRASS BRASS BAND BAND BAND BAND

WEDNESDAY NOV 14 WEDNESDAY $17 ADV 9PM

THE WARD A RAMMDYNING THEGW IN EANS R W A A Y L R M GRAMINNINNGEW OS BAND! W EBARNASS! L R O NEW SS BAND BRA $17 ADV 9PM

MICKEY MICKEY AVALON AVALON THURSDAY YOB

SUNDAY DEC 2 SUNDAY

PLANT ONSTERS

DEC 2

$20 ADV 8PM

$20 ADV 8PM

DEC 13 THURSDAY

DEC 13

$18 ADV 9PM

SATURDAY DEC 15 SATURDAY DEC 15

$18 ADV 9PM

& YOB SAVIOURS &

SAVIOURS

$16 ADV 9PM

$16 ADV 9PM

SIGN OF THE BEAST BURLESQUE SIGN OF THE BEAST PRESENTS BURLESQUE BABES AS BEASTS TAKE IT OFF TO CLASSIC METAL! PRESENTS $10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

WITH GOATWHORE + LO-PAN + APE MACHINE

WITH GOATWHORE + LO-PAN + APE MACHINE

BABES AS BEASTS TAKE IT OFF TO CLASSIC METAL! BABY LE STRANGE • VERA MYSTERIA • LADY STOCKHOLM • FLUER DE SEL • ROCKET THE ASSETTES • GOLDIE GOODNIGHT • AERIALIST JOLENE • COUNTESS VALKYRIE BABY LE STRANGE • VERA MYSTERIA • LADY STOCKHOLM • FLUER DE SEL • ROCKET THE ASSETTES • GOLDIE GOODNIGHT • AERIALIST JOLENE • COUNTESS VALKYRIE

$12 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT 9PM SHOWTIME

R.E.M. CLUB MARK EITZEL PETERFROM BUCK PETER BUCK EITZEL

$12 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT 9PM SHOWTIME

SATURDAY NOV 10 SATURDAYNOV SATURDAY NOV 10 SATURDAYNOV

ROCKING SOULFUL INDIE FOLK FROM KENTUCKYROCKING SINGER- SOULFUL CELLIST INDIE FOLK FROM $12 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - EARLY SHOW 7PM - 6PM DOORS WITH KENTUCKY SINGERLUKE CELLIST $12 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - EARLY SHOW 7PM - 6PM DOORS REYNOLDS WITH LUKE LATE SHOW REYNOLDS 10PM SHOWTIME

BEN SOLLEE BEN SOLLEE PROJECT:NEUROTICA PROJECT: NEUROTICA PROJECT:NEUROTICA PROJECT: NEUROTICA WEDNESDAY NOV 28 THE WEDNESDAYNOV28 KING OF THE SURF GUITAR WEDNESDAY NOV 28 WEDNESDAYNOV28 KING OF $10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT LATE SHOW 10PM SHOWTIME $10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT

$20 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

DICK DALE DICK DALE THURSDAYDEC 6

SURF GUITAR

$20 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

THURSDAY DEC 6 WORLD/INFERNO THURSDAY DEC FRIENDSHIP 6 THURSDAYDEC 6 WORLD/INFERNO $15 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

O’DEATH SOCIETY FRIENDSHIP SOCIETY O’DEATH PDX’S OWN

$15 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

FRIDAY DEC 7 FRIDAYDEC FRIDAY DEC 7 FRIDAYDEC

TRADITIONAL FOLK-AMERICANA PDX’S OWN $10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME STRING BAND QUINTET TRADITIONAL FOLK-AMERICANA $10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME STRING BAND QUINTET

FRUITION FRUITION & THE

TUESDAY NOV 6 TUESDAYNOV6

TY

NIGHT SEGALL BEATS A STEAMPUNK

$12 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

MONDAY DEC 31 MODAAYDEC MONDAY DEC 31 MODAAYDEC TICKETS ON SALE SOON!

TICKETS ON SALE SOON!

NEW YEAR’S EVE WITH A STEAMPUNK NEW YEAR’S EVE WITH

Best Show Burlesque,“The Firedancers In Town!” DJs, Magic & Debauchery!

NOV 4

MONDAY

WEDNESDAY NOV 28 STAR THEATER $20 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT 9PM SHOWTIME

DICK DALE

SIGN OF THE BEAST BURLESQUE PRESENTS

$10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

BABES AS BEASTS TAKE IT OFF TO CLASSIC METAL!

METAL MONSTERS

NOV 5

FromHelHell l Karaoke From SINFERNO Karaoke FRIDAY NOV 9 FRIDAYNOV

BABY LE STRANGE • VERA MYSTERIA • LADY STOCKHOLM • FLUER DE SEL • ROCKET THE ASSETTES • GOLDIE GOODNIGHT • AERIALIST JOLENE • COUNTESS VALKYRIE

So You Wanna Be A ROCK STAR ?

cabaret

KARAOKE WITH A LIVE BAND FOR ANOTHER 20 YEARS !

9pm - NU WAVE MACHINE

CHUCK’N’BUCK THE

TUESDAY

NOV 6

10pm $3

8pm Showtime

DSL

COMING SOON

$10 ADV 9:30PM

TWO COW GARAGE THE COPYRIGHTS

I CAN LICK ANY SOB IN THE HOUSE

TRUCKSTOP DARLIN

THURSDAY

NOV 15 $8 ADV 9PM

ALABAMA BLACK SNAKE THE HUGS WEDNESDAY

NOV 14

$17 ADV 9PM

THE WARD YA G GRAMM WINNIN S RLEAN O W NE SS BAND! BRA

SUNDAY

DEC 2

$20 ADV 8PM

10/31 Lukas Nelson 11/1 American Roulette & Crown Point 11/2 Rev. Peyton’s Big Damn Band 11/3 Cash’d Out 11/4 Sinferno Cabaret 11/5 Karaoke From Hell 11/6 Chuck-n-Buck Show 11/7 Free Rock Show 11/8 Crazy Delicious Comedy 11/10 Two Cow Garage 11/11 Squidling Bros FreakShow & Sinferno Cabaret 11/14 Rebirth Brass Band 11/15 Spittin’ Cobras 11/29 Sonic Smackdown 11/30 Eric McFadden 12/1 Cherry Poppin’ Daddies 12/2 Mickey Avalon 12/7 Miss Exotic Finals 12/8 Hillstomp 12/9 Jet Black Pearl 12/13 Corrosion of Conformity 12/14 Nicky Croon & The Swingin’ Richards 12/15 High On Fire 12/16 Miss Kennedy’s Cabaret 12/21 Monsters Of Rock TICKETS AVAILABLE @ DANTE’S, STAR THEATER AND WWW.DANTESLIVE.COM OR CALL 503-345-7892

REBIRTH REBIRTH BRASS BRASS BAND BAND

MICKEY AVALON

THURSDAY

DEC 13

S H O W

open mic comedy with hostess dirt starr love

FRIDAY

NOV 10

MORE SHOWS MORE SHOWS SHOWS

THE LEGENDARY

22 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012

SUNDAY

TICKETS AVAILABLE AT STAR THEATER, DANTE’S AND WWW.STARTHEATERPORTLAND.COM AVAILABLE AT OR CALL TICKETS 503-345-7892 STAR THEATER, DANTE’S AND VOODOO BALL OCT 31 - VAGABOND OPERA’S TRANSYLVANIAN WWW.STARTHEATERPORTLAND.COM OR CALL 503-345-7892 NOV 2 - POLYRHYTHMICS + ACORN PROJECT

NOV 3 -31 MR. GNOME + AND AND ANDTRANSYLVANIAN VOODOO BALL OCT - VAGABOND OPERA’S NOV 4 -2POR EL FLAMENCO NOV - POLYRHYTHMICS + ACORN PROJECT ANIMAL ASSEMBLY PLANT NOV 6 -38MM+APPENDIXES+DEAD NOV - MR. GNOME + AND AND AND NOV 8 -4SIGN OF EL THE BEAST BURLESQUE: METAL MONSTERS NOV - POR FLAMENCO NOV 9 -6MARK EITZEL & PETER BUCK ANIMAL ASSEMBLY PLANT NOV - 8MM+APPENDIXES+DEAD NOV 108- EARLY SHOW 7PMBEAST - BEN SOLLEE NOV - SIGN OF THE BURLESQUE: METAL MONSTERS NOV 109- LATE SHOW 10PM&- PROJECT NEUROTICA NOV - MARK EITZEL PETER BUCK NOV 1510 - SONIC SMACKDOWN NOV - EARLY SHOW 7PM - BEN SOLLEE NOV 1610 - ROSEHIP REVUE 10PM - PROJECT NEUROTICA NOV - LATE SHOW NOV 17 15 - MY OH MYSSMACKDOWN + JACOB VAN AUKEN NOV - SONIC NOV 2316 - NICHOLE COOPER & THE JAM CD RELEASE NOV - ROSEHIP REVUE NOV 2817 - DICK NOV - MYDALE OH MYS + JACOB VAN AUKEN DEC 1 - 23 DEATH GRIPS COOPER & THE JAM CD RELEASE NOV - NICHOLE DEC 2 -28 BARFLY XMAS PARTY NOV - DICK DALE DEC 4 -12012 STRIPPIE AWARDS DEC - DEATH GRIPS FRIENDSHIP DEC 6 -2WORLD/INFERNO DEC - BARFLY XMAS PARTY SOCIETY + O’DEATH DEC 7 -4 FRUITION POLECAT AWARDS DEC - 2012 & STRIPPIE DEC 8 -6GIGGLE & BLUSH PEEPSHOW FRIENDSHIP SOCIETY + O’DEATH DEC - WORLD/INFERNO DEC 11 7- KOPECKY FAMILY BAND DEC - FRUITION & POLECAT DEC 13 8 - TY SEGALL &&NIGHT BEATS DEC - GIGGLE BLUSH PEEPSHOW DEC 15 ALT-J DEC 11 - KOPECKY FAMILY BAND DEC - QUEENS OF THE&POLE XMAS SHOW DEC1613 - TY SEGALL NIGHT BEATS DEC15 31 -- ABNEY DEC ALT-J PARK DEC 16 - QUEENS OF THE POLE XMAS SHOW DEC 31 - ABNEY PARK

8MM

THURSDAY NOV 8 THURSDAYNOV

WITH SUGARCANE

WITH POLECAT

$12 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

TRIP-HOP POP-ROCK FROM ONE OF LA’S HOTTEST BANDS

APPENDIXES & DEAD ANIMAL ASSEMBLY PLANT

WITH POLECAT

THURSDAY DEC 13 THURSDAYDEC 13 & THE THURSDAY DEC 13 THURSDAYDEC 13NIGHT TY SEGALL BEATS

primal midwestern post-punk

MR. GNOME

$10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

$10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

Karaoke FromHellHelHellHell l Karaoke From SINFERNO Karaoke From Karaoke From SINFERNO

NOV 4

THURSDAY NOV 8 THURSDAYNOV THURSDAY NOV 8 THURSDAYNOV METAL MONSTERS METAL MONSTERS METAL AMERICAN FRIDAY NOV 9 FROM FRIDAYNOV MUSICFROM AMERICAN FRIDAY FROM NOV 9 CLUBMUSIC FRIDAYNOV MARK R.E.M.9

PROJECT

AND AND AND

APPENDIXES & DEAD ANIMAL ASSEMBLY PLANT

WITH “TheSUGARCANE Best Show

CRESCENDO PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS

$10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

SASSPARILLA & SPECIAL GUESTS

SATURDAY

www.StarTheaterPortland.com

APPENDIXES & DEAD ANIMAL ASSEMBLY PLANT

K TUESDAY CHUCK’N’BUCK EL TUESDAY CHUCK DSL ’N’BUCK

EATH

THURSDAY

NOV 1

$10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

$10 ADV 9:30PM

OF

CRESCENDO PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS CRESCENDO PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS

101.9 KINK FM HALLOWEEN PARTY!

THE TY CURTIS BAND & BICYCLE THIEF

PLUS CHERVONA! CHERVONA!

$10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

WILLIE NELSON’S SON

$13 ADV 9PM

THURSDAY SONIC SMACKDOWN KICKOFF SHOW! CROWN POINT • SUNDROP SONIC SMACKDOWN KICKOFF SHOW! NOV 1 THURSDAY FRIDAY NOV 2 CROWN POINT ROULETTE • SUNDROP FRIDAYNOV AMERICAN NOV 1 FRIDAY NOV 2 FRIDAYNOV AMERICAN ROULETTE FRIDAY REV. PEYTONS NOV 2 FRIDAY REV. PEYTONS midwestern NOV 2 SATURDAY NOV 3 primal SATURDAYNOV post-punk midwestern SATURDAY NOV 3 primal SATURDAYNOV post-punk $5 ADV - 9PM

w w w. da n tes l i ve . c o m

OCT 31

$16 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

c

503-226-6630 • Open Daily 11am-2:30am •

WEDNESDAY

$16 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

The Newly Restored Histori

Burlesque&&Rock-n-Roll Rock-n-Roll Live LiveMusic, Music,Cabaret, Cabaret,Burlesque

$18 ADV 9PM

$16 ADV 9PM

SATURDAY NOV 10 SATURDAYNOV LATE SHOW 10PM SHOWTIME $10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT

SURF GUITAR

$20 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

DICK DALE

WORLD/INFERNO FRIENDSHIP O’DEATH SOCIETY

THURSDAY DEC 66 THURSDAYDEC $15 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

FRIDAY DEC 7 FRIDAYDEC

$10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

PDX’S OWN TRADITIONAL FOLK-AMERICANA STRING BAND QUINTET

FRUITION

& THE NIGHT TY SEGALL BEATS

$12 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME

MORE SHOWS

YOB &

WITH GOATWHORE + LO-PAN + APE MACHINE

WITH POLECAT

THURSDAY DEC 13 THURSDAYDEC 13

TICKETS ON SALE SOON!

SAVIOURS

ROCKING SOULFUL INDIE FOLK FROM KENTUCKY SINGERCELLIST WITH LUKE REYNOLDS

BEN SOLLEE PROJECT:NEUROTICA PROJECT: NEUROTICA WEDNESDAY NOV 28 THE WEDNESDAYNOV28 KING OF $12 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - EARLY SHOW 7PM - 6PM DOORS

MONDAY DEC 31 MODAAYDEC

SATURDAY

DEC 15

FROM AMERICAN MUSIC FROM R.E.M. CLUB

MARK PETER BUCK EITZEL

$12 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT 9PM SHOWTIME

A STEAMPUNK NEW YEAR’S EVE WITH

TICKETS AVAILABLE AT STAR THEATER, DANTE’S AND WWW.STARTHEATERPORTLAND.COM OR CALL 503-345-7892

OCT 31 - VAGABOND OPERA’S TRANSYLVANIAN VOODOO BALL NOV 2 - POLYRHYTHMICS + ACORN PROJECT NOV 3 - MR. GNOME + AND AND AND NOV 4 - POR EL FLAMENCO NOV 6 - 8MM+APPENDIXES+DEAD ANIMAL ASSEMBLY PLANT NOV 8 - SIGN OF THE BEAST BURLESQUE: METAL MONSTERS NOV 9 - MARK EITZEL & PETER BUCK NOV 10 - EARLY SHOW 7PM - BEN SOLLEE NOV 10 - LATE SHOW 10PM - PROJECT NEUROTICA NOV 15 - SONIC SMACKDOWN NOV 16 - ROSEHIP REVUE NOV 17 - MY OH MYS + JACOB VAN AUKEN NOV 23 - NICHOLE COOPER & THE JAM CD RELEASE NOV 28 - DICK DALE DEC 1 - DEATH GRIPS DEC 2 - BARFLY XMAS PARTY DEC 4 - 2012 STRIPPIE AWARDS DEC 6 - WORLD/INFERNO FRIENDSHIP SOCIETY + O’DEATH DEC 7 - FRUITION & POLECAT DEC 8 - GIGGLE & BLUSH PEEPSHOW DEC 11 - KOPECKY FAMILY BAND DEC 13 - TY SEGALL & NIGHT BEATS DEC 15 - ALT-J DEC 16 - QUEENS OF THE POLE XMAS SHOW DEC 31 - ABNEY PARK

THE LEGENDARY

WEDNESDAY NOV 28 STAR THEATER $20 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT 9PM SHOWTIME

DICK DALE


UP&COMING THIS WEEK’S MUSIC PREVIEWS

conversation is never not excruciating, so redirect them toward Old Light. On their first and only LP, The Dirty Future, Old Light combine all the best parts of all the best rock bands of the last 40 years. Indeed, this quartet of bearded fellows makes jamming out seem kind of cool, especially when the extended licks are countered by Beach Boys harmonies, which are further tempered by face-thawing guitar anthems. And then there’s the autoharp. RW

SKELETONWITCH, HAVOK, MUTILIATION RITES, NIGHT NURSE

(Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway) See Saturday’s listing.

(Branx, 320 SE 2nd) Skeletonwitch plays the musical equivalent of medieval torture. Plucking all the finer points of speed and intensity from black, death, and thrash metal, the band writes tunes that make the act of impalement look like someone getting a little splinter, and the breaking wheel look like a carousel. Along with the unholy butchery of the band’s riffs, Skeletonwitch also maintains a balance of triumphant harmonies. So, not only do your enemies receive the painful smiting they deserve, but you also get the appropriate soundtrack to celebrate the glory of your victory! May all those who conspire against you—musically, that is—fear the brutality that Skeletonwitch wields! ARIS WALES

CAT POWER, THE GOAT

ZAMMUTO, AU

(Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside) Sun marks the first album of non-covers in six years from Chan Marshall, who as Cat Power has made a name for herself—not only for her own dark and breathy songs, but her make-them-herown interpretations of others. She’s the singer responsible for the overused descriptor “hauntingly beautiful.” The mythology of Cat Power is bigger than her body of work, but as Marshall enters her 40s she seems to be more self-aware than ever. Less brooding, too—Sun might be the least melancholy album of her career. Marshall still gives you plenty to think about, but it’s less a peek into her journal than it is reading the morning news together. We’ll call it cautiously beautiful. MARK LORE Also see My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 15.

(Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) The ethereal pop melodies of the Books kept us company throughout the absurdities of the last decade. In 2010, their last album, The Way Out, encapsulated the fragmentation and post-ness of the age with surreal stories and snippets of found sounds. Then they called it quits. Now, guitarist Nick Zammuto is back with a new, self-titled band and album. Still agile, still experimental, Zammuto nevertheless has embraced a more substantial aesthetic: He sounds like a man with a band now. Does this mean the world is getting less ridiculous? Um, no. Zammuto-the-band is a conceptual antidote to the crumbling world order, a foundation of authenticity that nevertheless confronts chaos head on. Have fun while you still can, preferably while enjoying every musical genre, from acid house to Afro-funk. The heroic chorus of “Yay,” the album’s opener and zenith, will be stuck in your brain for days. RW

SUNDAY 11/4

OREGON SYMPHONY: MAHLER’S SIXTH

THE WALKING WILLOWS (The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th) Stephen Cohen’s old group, the Eugene-based psychedelic folk band the Tree People, didn’t garner a ton of attention during their initial stint, but they were posthumously discovered by record collectors worldwide and eventually had their 1979 and 1984 albums reissued. Now Cohen’s new band, the Walking Willows, have a record that should similarly delight record collectors and fans of off-the-beaten-path folk. By Hand is a sparse, playful collection of songs performed by Cohen and double bassist Rich Hinrichsen, and they’re performed with clarity, precision, and vibrant humor, as on “1 Hit Song” and “Mathematics.” There’s also some good old-fashioned, rain-sodden Oregon weirdness, and the result is a unique, entrancing folk record that doesn’t sound like anything you’ve heard before. NL

THE SEA AND CAKE, MATTHEW FRIEDBERGER (Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) You really can’t talk about the Sea and Cake without mentioning their consistency—even what some might consider an “off” album is still pretty good. It’s thinking-man’s pop that has been accused of occasionally being too stuffy, other times a little eccentric. Whatever your particular take, over the past two decades the Sea and Cake have simply done their thing, releasing a body of work that weathers trends and flavors of the month. That might sound boring, but it also explains their longevity. And to those who have followed the band from the beginning, the Sea and Cake’s durability trumps all. ML

MONDAY 11/5

KID KOALA, ADIRA AMRAM AND THE EXPERIENCE (Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 15.

TWIN SISTER, PURE BATHING CULTURE (Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 15.

OREGON SYMPHONY: MAHLER’S SIXTH (Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway) See Saturday’s listing.

TITLE FIGHT, PIANOS BECOME THE TEETH, SINGLE MOTHERS, LEE COREY OSWALD (Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th) Possibly following examples set by the Sidekicks and the Menzingers earlier this year, Title Fight are the latest East Coast punk institution to renounce their goofy and admittedly hoary pop-punk roots in favor of a more timeless aesthetic. And they’ve arguably done it better than either of those bands, to boot; the result, Floral Green, is a near-perfect LP that will almost certainly be included in my best of 2012 list. It’s far more suggestive of early- to mid-’90s indie-cumemo forebears like Seaweed and Archers of Loaf than anything that’s ever been featured on a Warped Tour compilation, and that’s a really, really good thing. The autumnal “Leaf” is the most genuine and emphatic exposition on the insignificance of human existence I’ve heard in a hot second (after all, what better way to get over a broken heart than to realize that nothing matters?). Title Fight are sentimental and emo-as-fuck without ever seeming mawkish, and that’s exceptional. This record gives me goose bumps, in addition to high hopes for the future of rock music. MORGAN TROPER

TUESDAY 11/6

TILLY AND THE WALL, ICKY BLOSSOMS, ADVENTURE GALLEY (Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 15.

BLOOD BEACH, CLOAKS (Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water) Fresh off a September European tour, Blood Beach have returned to Portland with their psycho-garage explosion in tow. Completing a successful Kickstarter campaign this past July to fund a touronly 7-inch (the creepy-cool “Dead Maester’s Tongue” b/w “Factory Dream”) and to curate a Portland music cassette compilation (dubbed Keep Portland Normal), the band have been playing more than a passing role in the expansion of the Rose City’s burgeoning outsiderrock underworld. They’re as good a vessel as any to harbor such a task; Blood Beach’s vaguely sophomoric garage-pop combo cocks the knockout punch of freeroaming jams as well as punkier psychedelic territory. Their 2011 vinyl LP, Return of the Curse of the Creature’s Ghost, posits acid-washed wah-wahs, anti-melodic yelps of reverb-heavy rock, and other spooky delights that carry songs like “Candy” into eerie realms. RJP

NAPPY ROOTS, SERGE SEVERE (Mt. Tabor Theater, 4811 SE Hawthorne) Nappy Roots are a Kentucky hiphop group that met at college in the mid-’90s. The turn of the century found them capitalizing on major label interest, due in part to the success of Southern acts such as Ludacris, Master P, and OutKast. Their major label debut, 2002’s Watermelon, Chicken & Gritz, went platinum and allowed them to tour the world, although subsequent albums did not replicate their former glory. Their most recent full-length, Nappy Dot Org, is a welcome return to form, with all production handled by hit producers Organized Noize. Local emcee Serge Severe has recently returned from performing high-profile stage and radio shows in New York City, where his management resides. Severe is one of the most talented lyricists in Portland, and his intelligent wordplay, combined with his punishing delivery, sends the don’t-sleep meter to code red. RYAN FEIGH

WEDNESDAY 11/7 STARS, JETS OVERHEAD

(Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 15.

THOSE DARLINS, HEAVY CREAM, DON’T (Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi) While Nashville’s Those Darlins started out as what you might imagine—an old-timey female trio ready-made for return appearances on This American Life,—these ladies and (now) gents have dropped the pickin’ and grinnin’ for sex, hugs, and rock ’n’ roll. There’s still a slight shuffle in their step, but the band has become the South’s answer to the Ramones. Those Darlins’ sophomore LP Screws Get Loose captures it perfectly, right down to the Spectoresque production. What separates these darlings from, say, the Vivian Girls or Dum Dum Girls is they carry themselves with snotty abandon. The proof is on the cover of Screws, which features one of the members with a finger in her nose. ML

November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 23


the neXt BeSt thing to Johnny caSh

LIVE MUSIC

squarepegconcerts.com

& sugarcane saturday november 3 dante’s

1 SW 3rd ave · Portland, or 9:00Pm ShoW · 21 & over ticketS at SafeWay/ticketSWeSt charge By Phone 503-224-tiXX

This

sat

sunday november 10 aladdin theatre 3017 Se milWaukie ave · Portland, or 7:30Pm ShoW · all ageS ticketS at all ticketmaSter locationS charge By Phone 1-800-745-3000

METZ Bunk Bar, 11/3

THURSDAY 11/1

Straight No Chaser thursday november 15 elsinore theater 170 high St Se · Salem, or · 7:30Pm ShoW · all ageS ticketS at SafeWay/ticketSWeSt locationS charge By Phone 503-224-tiXX

tuesday november 27 arlene schnitzer concert hall 1037 SW BroadWay · Portland, or 8:00Pm ShoW · all ageS ticketS at all ticketmaSter locationS charge By Phone 1-800-745-3000

DADDIES KopecKy Cherry Poppin’

saturday dec 1 dante’s 1 SW 3rd ave · Portland, or 8:30Pm ShoW · 21 & over ticketS at SafeWay/ticketSWeSt charge By Phone 503-224-tiXX

Family Band tuesday december 11 star theater

13 nW 6th ave · Portland, or · 9:00Pm ShoW · 21 and over ticketS at SafeWay/ticketSWeSt locationS charge By Phone 503-224-tiXX

On Sale

Fri 10:00AM

& henry at War

saturday december 15 mississippi studios

3939 n miSSiSSiPPi ave · Portland, or 8:30Pm ShoW · 21 & over ticketS at SafeWay/ticketSWeSt locationS charge By Phone 503-224-tiXX

24 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012

Randy Rogers Band and Wade Bowen thursday january 17 mississippi studios 3939 n miSSiSSiPPi ave · Portland, or 8:00Pm ShoW · 21 and over ticketS at SafeWay/ticketSWeSt locationS charge By Phone 503-224-tiXX

★ AL’S DEN—Pat Kearns, Jeremy Wilson, 7 pm, free ARTICHOKE MUSIC—Acoustic Village, 7 pm, $5 ASH STREET SALOON—Dovehead, The Mercury Tree”, Red Forman, Wes Turner, 9:30 pm, $5 BIDDY MCGRAW’S—John Ross, 9 pm BLUE DIAMOND—Ben Jones, 9 pm BRASSERIE MONTMARTRE—Alan Jones Jazz Jam, 8 pm BUFFALO GAP—Redlight Romeos, 9 pm ★ CLUB 21—Warm Soda, The Cry, Cheap Bliss, 10 pm, free CORKSCREW WINE BAR—Gumbo Americana, 8 pm CRYSTAL BALLROOM—Orquestra Aragon, Martin Zarzar, 8 pm, $30-35, all ages DANTE’S—American Roulette”, Crown Point, Sundrop, 9 pm, $12 ★ DOUG FIR—Sera Cahoone, The Parson Red Heads, Desert Noises, 9 pm, $10-12 DUFF’S GARAGE—Tough Love Pyle, 6 pm, $2 ★ EAST END—Eternal Tapestry, Hot Victory, Midday Veil, Grapefruit, 9 pm EAT: AN OYSTER BAR—Steve Cheseborough, 7 pm EDGEFIELD—Chacalacas, 7 pm, free THE ELIXIR LAB—Johnny D’s Community Jam, 7 pm ELLA STREET SOCIAL CLUB—The Sorry Devils, Mane of the Cur, Roselit Bone, 9 pm, $5 FIRKIN TAVERN—Sam Densmore, The Weather Machine, Cove Michaelian, 9 pm, free GEMINI LOUNGE—Jamie Harvey, 7:30 pm, free GOODFOOT—Philly’s Phunkestra, 9 pm, $6 GRAND CAFE/ANDREA’S CHA CHA CLUB—Pilon d’Azucar Salsa Band, 9:30 pm HALIBUT’S—Terry Robb, 8 pm, free HEATHMAN—Johnny Martin, 7 pm ★ HOLOCENE—Dia De Los Muertos: Orquestra Pacifico Tropical, Edna Vasquez, Death Songs, 7 pm, $5 IVORIES—Gus Pappelis, 6:30 pm, $8 JADE LOUNGE—Chris Juhlin, 7 pm JAM ON HAWTHORNE—Hot Club of Hawthorne, 6 pm, free JIMMY MAK’S—Mel Brown B3 Organ Band, 8 pm, $5 KELLS—Pat Buckley, 9 pm KELLY’S OLYMPIAN—Spruce Goose, The Greencarts, Bikethief, 9 pm, $5 KENNEDY SCHOOL—Vivid Curve”, 6 pm, free, all ages KENTON CLUB—A Volcano, Blood Owl, 9 pm, free LANDMARK SALOON—Ruby Feathers, 9 pm LANGANO LOUNGE—Miss Shevaughn, Yuma Wray, 8 pm LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE—Lewi Longmire Band”, 6 pm; Trip Syndicate, 9:30 pm, $3 MISSISSIPPI PIZZA PUB—Leo J & the Melee, 6 pm; Fair Weather Watchers, 9 pm ★ MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS—Petunia & The Vipers, The Maldives, 9 pm, $12 MT. TABOR THEATER—Dio Rising, 9 pm, $15; Outpost, One Drop, Irie Idea, 9 pm, $8 MUDDY RUDDER—Payne & Money, 8 pm PETER’S ROOM AT THE ROSELAND—Aer, Yonas, David Dallas, TxE, 8 pm, $13, all ages PINTS BREWING—Noah Peterson”, 9 pm PLAN B—The Longshots, Whiskey Avengers, The Disliked, 9 pm THE PRESS CLUB—Inky Shadows, Trio Flux, 8 pm QUIMBY’S AT 19TH—Chris Baum Project, 9 pm, free RED ROOM—The Kos”, Trueheart Suzie, 8 pm ROSELAND—Benny Benassi, Congorock, 8 pm, $30 ★ ROTTURE—Connect.04: Boy Funk, Ninja Turtle Ninja Tiger, DJ Gulls, The New Pioneers, Dual Mode, Le Printemps, 9 pm, $7 THE SECRET SOCIETY—Libertine Belles, 6 pm, all ages SLABTOWN—Neon Piss, Defect Defect, The Body, DJ Marcel Da Chump, 9 pm SLIM’S—Closely Watched Trains, Blind Bartimaeus, 9 pm, free SOMEDAY LOUNGE—The Dookie Jam: Doo Doo Funk All-Stars, 9 pm, free THIRSTY LION—Tim Karplus Band, 9 pm

ROBBY REIS

TIGER BAR—Karaoke from Hell, 9:30 pm, free ★ TONIC LOUNGE—Lord, Cadet, The Dunbar Number, 9 pm TWILIGHT CAFE & BAR—Douglas Fox, 7 pm VIE DE BOHEME—Loose Change, free WHITE EAGLE—The Brothers of the Hound, 5:30 pm, free, all ages; Ben Union, Novosti, Symmetry/ Symmetry”, 8:30 pm, free

FRIDAY 11/2 ALADDIN THEATER—David Wilcox, 8 pm, $25-28 ★ ALBERTA ROSE THEATRE—Steve Forbert, 8 pm, $20 ★ AL’S DEN—Pat Kearns, Gerald Collier, 7 pm, free ANDINA—JB Butler, 8 pm ARTICHOKE MUSIC—Friday Night Coffeehouse, $5, all ages ASH STREET SALOON—We the Wild, A((Wake)), Wolfpussy, O.A.K., 9:30 pm, $5 BACKSPACE—The Great Train Robbery, Ozymandias, She’s Not Dead, How to Build a Fire, 9 pm, $5, all ages BERBATI—DJ Mello Cee, 9:30 pm, free; I-Taweh & the Reggae Lions, 9:30 pm BIDDY MCGRAW’S—Lynn Conover, 6 pm, all ages; Mexican Gunfight, 9:30 pm BLUE DIAMOND—Hi Fi Mojo, 9 pm BLUE MONK—Brownish Black, Eldridge Gravy & Court Supreme, 9 pm ★ BOOM BAP!—Creature Club, Cotton, Fiasco, Thorstone, 8 pm, all ages BRANX—How the West Was Won, Subtle City, Gaia, Asleep at Last, Recursion, The Unspoken Word, 6:30 pm, $8, all ages BRASSERIE MONTMARTRE—Eddie Parente Trio, 8 pm BUFFALO GAP—Fresh Track, New Solution, 9 pm CANVAS ART BAR—Open Mic: Steve Huber, 7 pm, free, all ages ★ CRYSTAL BALLROOM—Menomena, Radiation City, Parenthetical Girls, 9 pm, $16-18, all ages DANTE’S—Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band, 9:30 pm, $10 ★ DOUG FIR—Wooden Indian Burial Ground”, 9 pm, $5 DUFF’S GARAGE—The Hamdogs, 6 pm, $2; Nightlife, Get Rhythm, 9 pm, $10 EAST BURN—Andrews Ave, Cascadia Soul Alliance, 10 pm, free EAST END—Januariez, Pink Slip, The Good Sons, Right on John, 9 pm EDGEFIELD—Old Yellers, 7 pm, free ELLA STREET SOCIAL CLUB—Northeast Northwest, Animal Parts, Landon Jenkinson, Hip Hatchet, 9 pm, $5 FIRKIN TAVERN—Barons of Industry, De La Warr, 9 pm, free FOGGY NOTION—Iceland, Chautauqua, Jonesmore, Gang Radio, 9 pm, $3 HALIBUT’S—Linda Hornbuckle, 8 pm, free HAWTHORNE THEATRE—Toxic Zombie, Nemesis, Amerakin Overdose, Stonecreep”, Useless ’n’ Pointless, 7 pm, $8, all ages HAWTHORNE THEATRE LOUNGE—Joe Fletcher, 8:30 pm, $5 ★ HOLOCENE—Fresh. 4 Year Anniversary: Claude VonStroke, Celoso, Ben Tactic, 9 pm, $15 ISLAND MANA WINES—David & Goliath, 4 pm; Joe Marquand, 4:30 pm IVORIES—Bridge Quartet, 8 pm, $10 JADE LOUNGE—Matthew Heller, Joey Beats Brady, Timberbound Project, Joe Seamons, 6 pm JEAN VOLLUM NATURAL CAPITAL CENTER (ECOTRUST)—Cider Stomp: Wayward Vessel, 7 pm, $15 JIMMY MAK’S—Patrick Lamb & His Funkified Band, 8 pm, $12-15 KELLS—Pass the Whiskey, 9:30 pm KELLY’S OLYMPIAN—Shitty Weekend, A Happy Death, Bevelers, Tianamen Bear, 9 pm, $5 KENTON CLUB—The Cave Swells, Chris Burton, 9 pm, free THE KNOW—Formica Man, Assembly, Jewelry Rash, 8 pm


catch

BLAZER

action

2012-2013 S C H E D U L E OC T O B E R

Wed 31 L.A. Lakers...... 7:30P KGW

NOVEMBER Fri 2 at Oklahoma City.......... 5P CSN

Mon 12 Atlanta....................... 7P CSN

Fri 23 Minnesota.................... 7P KGW

Sat 3 at Houston..................... 5P CSN

Tue 13 at Sacramento........... 7P CSN

Sun 25 at Brooklyn............. 12P CSN

Mon 5 at Dallas.............. 5:30P CSN

Fri 16 Houston........................ 7P CSN

Mon 26 at Detroit.......... 4:30P CSN

Thu 8 L.A. Clippers.......... 7:30P TNT

Sun 18 Chicago..................... 6P CSN

Wed 28 at Washington........ 4P CSN

Sat 10 San Antonio.............. 7P KGW

Wed 21 at Phoenix................ 6P CSN

Fri 30 at Boston.............. 4:30P CSN

DECEMBER Sat 1 at Cleveland.......... 4:30P CSN

Thu 13 San Antonio......... 7:30P TNT

Wed 26 Sacramento............. 7P CSN

Mon 3 at Charlotte................ 4P CSN

Sun 16 New Orleans............ 6P CSN

Fri 28 at L.A. Lakers......7:30P KGW

Wed 5 at Indiana.................... 4P CSN

Thu 20 Denver........................ 7P KGW

Sat 29 Philadelphia............... 7P CSN

Sat 8 Sacramento................. 7P KGW

Sat 22 Phoenix........................ 7P CSN

Mon 10 Toronto...................... 7P CSN

Sun 23 at Sacramento......... 6P CSN

JANUARY Tue 1 at New York.......... 4:30P CSN

Fri 11 at Golden State.. 7:30P CSN

Wed 23 Indiana...................... 7P CSN

Wed 2 at Toronto.................... 4P CSN

Sun 13 Oklahoma City......... 6P CSN

Sat 26 L.A. Clippers............ 7P KGW

Fri 4 at Memphis..................... 5P CSN

Tue 15 at Denver.................... 6P CSN

Sun 27 at L.A Clippers.6:30P CSN

Sat 5 at Minnesota................. 5P CSN

Wed 16 Cleveland................ 7P KGW

Tue 29 Dallas........................... 7P CSN

Mon 7 Orlando....................... 7P CSN

Sat 19 Milwaukee.................. 7P KGW

Thu 10 Miami..................... 7:30P TNT

Mon 21 Washington............. 7P CSN

FEBRUARY Fri 1 at Utah.............................. 6P CSN

Fri 8 at Houston...................... 5P CSN

Tue 19 Phoenix....................... 7P CSN

Sat 2 Utah................................ 7P KGW

Sun 10 at Orlando................. 3P CSN

Fri 22 at L.A. Lakers...... 7:30P CSN

Mon 4 at Minnesota.............. 5P CSN

Tue 12 at Miami............... 4:30P CSN

Sun 24 Boston........................ 6P CSN

Wed 6 at Dallas.............. 5:30P CSN

Wed 13 at New Orleans...... 5P CSN

Wed 27 Denver............... 7:30P CSN

MARCH Sat 2 Minnesota..................... 7P KGW

Thu 14 New York.............. 7:30P TNT

Sun 24 at Oklahoma City.... 4P CSN

Mon 4 Charlotte..................... 7P CSN

Sat 16 Detroit.......................... 7P CSN

Wed 27 Brooklyn.7:30P ESPN/KGW

Wed 6 at Memphis................. 5P CSN

Mon 18 at Philadelphia........ 4P CSN

Fri 29 Utah................................ 7P CSN

Fri 8 at San Antonio....... 5:30P CSN

Tue 19 at Milwaukee.............. 5P CSN

Sat 30 at Golden State.7:30P CSN

Sun 10 at New Orleans........ 4P CSN

Thu 21 at Chicago................. 5P CSN

Tue 12 Memphis.................... 7P KGW

Fri 22 at Atlanta.............. 4:30P CSN

APRIL Mon 1 at Utah......................... 6P CSN

Sun 7 Dallas............................ 6P KGW

Sun 14 at Denver................... 2P CSN

Wed 3 Memphis..................... 7P CSN

Wed 10 L.A. Lakers.............. 7P KGW

Tue 16 at L.A. Clippers.. 7:30P TNT

Fri 5 Houston........................... 7P CSN

Fri 12 Oklahoma City............ 7P CSN

Wed 17 Golden St...7:30P ESPN/KGW

November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 25


SAT 11/3 - ZACK DEPUTY FRI 11/2 - DJ MAGNETO & FRIENDS THURS 11/1 - PHILLY’S PHUNKESTRA WED 10/31 - JUJUBA featuring Nojeem Lasisi Afrobeat halloween MON - SONIC FORUM - OPEN MIC TUES 11/6 - FREE!!! - SCOTT PEMBERTON TRIO WED 11/7 - GARCIA BIRTHDAY BAND THURS 11/8 - THE LESSER BANGS FRI 11/9 - DJ AQUAMAN’S SOUL STEW SAT 11/10 - NEW MONSOON TUES 11/13 - FREE!!! - SCOTT PEMBERTON TRIO

-

GOODFOOT

4P 5 PINB OOL TABLES ALL MA CHINES DRINK EVERY& DRAW SUN

irs upsta aily d open :30 5-2 airs st downn at 9 ope w nights o on sh

2845 SE STARK * WWW.THEGOODFOOT.COM * 503.239.9292 26 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012


LIVE MUSIC LANDMARK SALOON—Papa Dynamite, 8 pm ★ LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE—Michael Hurley & The Croakers, 6 pm, free; The Builders & The Butchers, 9:30 pm, $12 MACADAM’S BAR & GRILL—Noah Peterson”, 8 pm MISSISSIPPI PIZZA PUB—Jenny Sizzler”, 6 pm; Rising Buffalo Tribe, Skoolkids, 9 pm ★ MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS—The Young Evils, Death Songs, Appendixes, 9 pm, $10-12 MOCK CREST TAVERN—Sneakin’ Out, 9 pm MT. TABOR THEATER—Mission Bells, The Hoons, Sweeping Exits, 8:30 pm, free MUDDY RUDDER—The Spodee-O’s, 8 pm MUSIC MILLENNIUM—Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band, 6 pm, free, all ages NEL CENTRO—Mike Pardew, 9:30 pm NEW COPPER PENNY—Collected Souls, Heart Beat, 9 pm PEOPLE’S CO-OP—The Portland Sacred Harp, 6:30 pm, free PONDEROSA LOUNGE (AT JUBITZ)—Britnee Kellogg, 9 pm, $2-5 THE PRESS CLUB—Cary Miga Trio, 7 pm RED ROOM—Ion Storm, She Preaches Mayhem, Manx, Aux 78, 9 pm THE SECRET SOCIETY—Bossa Nossa, 6 pm, all ages; The Nightmare Before Christmas: Saloon Ensemble, 9 pm, $13 SHAKER AND VINE—David Paulik, 8 pm SLIM’S—The Hill Dogs, The Brazillionaires, 9 pm, free ★ SOMEDAY LOUNGE—Eventuals, Brown/Erbe, Carl Diehl, 9 pm, $7 THE SPARE ROOM—Sonny Hess Band, 9 pm, free STAR THEATER—Polyrhythmics, 9 pm, $10-12 THE TARDIS ROOM—Arthur Moore, 8 pm THIRSTY LION—DeeDee Foxx & the Stimulus Package, 10 pm TIGER BAR—Fires in France, Spatia, The Choices, 9 pm, $6 ★ TONIC LOUNGE—Vicious Rumors, Garden of Eden, Wild Dogs, 9 pm TONY STARLIGHT’S—Shanghai Woolies, 8 pm, $15 VIE DE BOHEME—Acoustic Minds, The Sale, 9 pm, $5 THE WAYPOST—Leo, Elle Zamora, Stephen Sauer, 8 pm WHITE EAGLE—The Reverb Brothers”, 5:30 pm, free, all ages; Rubella Graves, Lone Madrone, Jackrabbit, 9:30 pm, $8 ★ WONDER BALLROOM—The Afghan Whigs, Van Hunt, 9 pm, $30-35

SATURDAY 11/3 ★ ALADDIN THEATER—Jens Lekman, Taken by Trees, 9 pm, $20 ★ AL’S DEN—Pat Kearns, Bart Davenport, 7 pm, free ANDINA—Toshi Onizuka, 8 pm ★ ARLENE SCHNITZER CONCERT HALL—Mahler’s Sixth Symphony: Oregon Symphony, 7:30 pm, $21-95, all ages ARTICHOKE MUSIC—Howard Wade, Mary Flower, 8 pm, $15 ASH STREET SALOON—Sintax, Rustmine”, Factor 5, 9:30 pm, $6 BACKSPACE—Space Waves, Miss Massive Snowflake”, The Blacklights, 9 pm, all ages BERBATI—The Dandelions, Paradise, Gypsy Blood, 9:30 pm BIDDY MCGRAW’S—29 Steps, 9 pm BLUE DIAMOND—Franco Paletta & the Stingers, 9 pm BLUE MONK—Little Hexes, 9 pm ★ BOOM BAP!—Moon Debris, Stay Calm, 1939 Ensemble, 8 pm, all ages BRASSERIE MONTMARTRE—Gravy, 8 pm BRIDGE CITY COMICS—Star Pilot’s Revenge Listening Party: Kielen King, 6 pm, free ★ BUNK BAR—Metz, Bison Bison, 10 pm, $10 DANTE’S—Cash’d Out, 9 pm, $15 ★ DOUG FIR—Sea Wolf, Hey Marseilles, 9 pm, $12-14 DUFF’S GARAGE—The Strangetones, 9 pm EAST BURN—Jambox Allstars, 10 pm, free EAST END—My New Vice”, 42 Ford Prefect, Stumblebum, 9 pm, $5 EDGEFIELD—Dan Haley, 7 pm, free ELLA STREET SOCIAL CLUB—Murzik, James Apollo, Sad Little Men, City Squirrel, 9 pm, $5 FIRKIN TAVERN—The Old Chagrin, 9 pm, free ★ FOGGY NOTION—Palo Verde, Tyrants, Rolling Through the Universe, 9 pm, $4 GEMINI LOUNGE—NoRey, 9 pm, free GOODFOOT—Zach Deputy, 9 pm HALIBUT’S—Bill Rhodes, 8 pm, free ★ HAWTHORNE THEATRE—Michael Schenker Group, Earth to Ashes, Never Awake, 7 pm, $25-30 HAWTHORNE THEATRE LOUNGE—Kivett Bednar, 6 pm, free; Mick Leonardi, Ike Fonseca, 8:30 pm, $6 IVORIES—Mundell Lowe, Mike Magnelli, 8 pm, $12 JADE LOUNGE—Bow Thayer, Krista Herring, Christopher John Mead, 6 pm JIMMY MAK’S—Bobby Torres Ensemble, 8 pm, $10 KELLS—Pass the Whiskey, 9:30 pm ★ KELLY’S OLYMPIAN—Great Wilderness, ioa, 9 pm, $5

KENTON CLUB—Uh Oh, Dramady”, San Francesca, Thee Headliners”, 9 pm, free ★ THE KNOW—Nucular Aminals, The Whines, Tiny Knives, 8 pm LANDMARK SALOON—Sent Gents, 8 pm ★ LANGANO LOUNGE—Hoops, The Pathogens, The Sighs, 9 pm, free LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE—Tree Frogs, 6 pm; Pagan Jug Band, 9:30 pm MISSISSIPPI PIZZA PUB—Tallulah’s Daddy, 4 pm, all ages; Kory Quinn, 6 pm; Elton John Tribute Concert: Heather Perkins, Ole Peterson, Sylvia Hackathorn, Janette Kaden, Sunny Jaynes, Alissa Hartman, Mireaya Medina, Cheetah Finesse, 9 pm, $5-15 ★ MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS—Old Light, Hungry Ghost, 9 pm, free MOCK CREST TAVERN—Donna & The Side Effects, 9 pm ★ MT. TABOR THEATER—Pudding Wrestling Massacre: Blowfly, 10 pm, $12 MUDDY RUDDER—Cafe Cowboys, 8 pm NEL CENTRO—Mike Pardew, Dave Captein, Randy Rollofson, 9:30 pm ★ O’MALLEY’S SALOON & GRILL—These Things, Gaytheist, Argonaut, Opposition Party, 9 pm, $5 ★ THE PIANO FORT—Midlo, Edna Vasquez, 8 pm, all ages PLAN B—Ghost Alien, Criminal Trespass, 9 pm PLEW’S BREWS—Northbound Rain, 9 pm PONDEROSA LOUNGE (AT JUBITZ)—Tuff Luck, 9 pm, $2-5 THE PRESS CLUB—The Low Bones, 8 pm RED ROOM—Bloodoath, Unruly Instinct, Echoic, Holy Filament, 9 pm ★ REFUGE—Chali 2NA, Mark Farina, Roc C, Oh No, Mercedez, Cloudy October, Sknny Mrcls, 9 pm RINGLER’S PUB—Jonah Luke, 3 pm, free ROSELAND—Blue October, Barcelona, A Silent Film, 9 pm, $28.50, all ages THE SECRET SOCIETY—The Nightmare Before Christmas: Saloon Ensemble, 3 pm, $10, all ages; Dominic Castillo, 6 pm, all ages ★ SLABTOWN—Green Jello, Headless Pez, Gorgon Stare, Weresquatch, 8 pm, $10 SLIM’S—No Hawk Yet, Ramune Rocket 3, The Fashion Nuggets, 9 pm, free SOMEDAY LOUNGE—Robert Glasper Experiment, Doo Doo Funk All-Stars, 8 pm, $25 ST. STEPHEN’S EPISCOPAL CHURCH—Operation Nightwatch Benefit Concert: Portland Chamber Music, 7:30 pm, free, all ages ★ STAR THEATER—Mr. Gnome, And And And, Eighteen Individual Eyes, 9 pm, $10 THIRSTY LION—Reverend Hammer, 9:30 pm TIGER BAR—Purple Rain, 9 pm, $6 ★ TONIC LOUNGE—System & Station, The Crash Engine”, Sucker for Lights, 9 pm TONY STARLIGHT’S—The Stolen Sweets, 8 pm, $15 THE WAYPOST—Malachi Graham, 8 pm WHITE EAGLE—The Student Loan, 4:30 pm, free, all ages; Marca Luna, Volifonix, Frame by Frame, 9:30 pm, $8 WONDER BALLROOM—The Infamous Stringdusters, 9 pm, $16-18 WOODSTOCK WINE AND DELI—Jazz Society of Oregon Hall of Fame 2012: Circle 3 Trio, Dave Friesen Quintet, Battleground HS Jazz Ensemble, 7 pm, $15-20

SUNDAY 11/4 ALL SAINTS PARISH HALL—Schubert’s Winterreise: Brother Aelred, Art Peterson, 3 pm, $10 AL’S DEN—Mishka Shubaly, 7 pm, free ANDINA—Midnight Honey, 6 pm; Danny Romero, 7 pm ★ ARLENE SCHNITZER CONCERT HALL—Mahler’s Sixth Symphony: Oregon Symphony, 7:30 pm, $21-95, all ages ASH STREET SALOON—Zax Vandal, Porter Jones, Laugh at Linus, 9:30 pm, $5 AUGUSTANA LUTHERAN CHURCH—Augustana Jazz Quartet, 6 pm, free, all ages BIDDY MCGRAW’S—Felim Egan, 8 pm BLUE MONK—Trombone 8, 8 pm CLYDE’S PRIME RIB—Ron Steen Jazz Jam, 8:30 pm, free ★ CRYSTAL BALLROOM—Cat Power, The Goat, 8 pm, $35-38, all ages DANTE’S—Sinferno Cabaret, 11 pm ★ DOUG FIR—The Sea & Cake, Matthew Friedberger, 9 pm, $15 EAGLES LODGE—Cirijaye, Railway, 5 pm ★ EAST END—Sioux City Pete & The Beggars, Di Di Mau, K-Tel ‘79, Gun Party, DJ Roxy Epoxy, 9 pm EAT: AN OYSTER BAR—Reggie Houston’s Box of Chocolates, 11 am EDGEFIELD—Jaime Leopold, 5 pm, free ★ ELLA STREET SOCIAL CLUB—Surfs Drugs, Jeans Wilder, Free Weed, 9 pm, $7 EPWOTH UNITED METHODIST CHURCH—Oregon Koto-Kai, 2 pm, $5 FIRKIN TAVERN—Open Mic, 8 pm, free

November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 27


Indigo Girls Friday, November 9 | 7:30 For the first time ever, the Indigo Girls have embarked on a national symphony tour to perform a selection of songs spanning their career, from the 1980s through their most recent release, Beauty Queen Sister. They join the Oregon Symphony for one performance only at the historic Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall. Sponsored by

Call: 503-228-1353 | 1-800-228-7343 Click: OrSymphony.org

Groups of 10 or more save:

Ticket office: 923 SW Washington | 10 am – 6 pm Mon – Fri

503-416-6380

ARLENE SCHNITZER CONCERT HALL

28 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012

S W M A I N & B R O A D WAY


LIVE MUSIC FORD FOOD & DRINK—Tim Roth, noon, free, all ages HAWTHORNE THEATRE—Ocean of Mirrors, Dinner With a Bear, Upon a Broken Path, Fear the Slaughter, Chronological Injustice, 6:30 pm, $8-10, all ages JADE LOUNGE—Dan Cecil, 6:30 pm KELLS—Irish Session, 6 pm; Bill Tollner, 9 pm THE KNOW—Tiger High, The Shivas”, 8 pm LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE—Dan Haley, Tim Acott, 9:30 pm, free LV’S—Blues, Brews & BBQ, 6 pm MIGRATION BREWING CO.—Whistlepig, 7 pm MISSION THEATER—Lunasa, Colleen Raney, Cary Novotny, Johnny B. Connolly, 6:30 pm, $25 MISSISSIPPI PIZZA PUB—Lyman Louis, 6 pm; The Lovely Lost, 9 pm ★ MOON & SIXPENCE—Foghorn Stringband, free MUDDY RUDDER—Irish Music, 4 pm ★ THE OLD CHURCH—Walking Willows, 8 pm, $10 RED & BLACK CAFE—The Plurals, Erica Freas, Shitty Weekend, Walter Mitty & his Makeshift Orchestra, 7:30 pm ROCK BOTTOM BREWERY—Dojo Toolkit, 9 pm ★ RONTOMS—Aan”, Mwahaha, 9 pm, free SLABTOWN—Hellgasm, Death Machine, LifeForm, 9 pm, $5 SLIM’S—Suburban Slim, 8 pm, free SOMEDAY LOUNGE—Kimosabe, True Rebellion, Errick Lewis & The Vibe Project, 9 pm, $5 THE SPARE ROOM—Angel Bouchet Band, 8 pm, free VIE DE BOHEME—Roberta Donnay & the Prohibition Mob Band, 7 pm, $10 WHITE EAGLE—Justin Rayfield, Time & the Bell, The Sorry Devils, 7 pm, free

MONDAY 11/5 AL’S DEN—Mishka Shubaly, 7 pm, free ANDINA—Pete Krebs, 7 pm ★ ARLENE SCHNITZER CONCERT HALL—Mahler’s Sixth Symphony: Oregon Symphony, 8 pm, $21-95, all ages BERBATI—Primitive Idols, Sharks from Mars, Henry Dark, 9:30 pm BLUE DIAMOND—Tom Grant, 9 pm ★ BRANX—Skeletonwitch, Havok, Mutiliation Rites, Night Nurse, 8 pm, $12 ★ BUNK BAR—Twin Sister, Pure Bathing Culture, 10 pm, $8-10 ★ CLINTON STREET THEATER—Closely Watched Trains, Renegade Stringband, Simon Tucker, 6:30 pm, $5 DANTE’S—Karaoke from Hell, 10 pm ★ DOUG FIR—Zammuto, Au, 9 pm, $12-14 DUFF’S GARAGE—Lily Wilde Orchestra, 8 pm, $8 ★ EAST END—Belgrado, Bellicose Minds, Moral Hex, Dead Cult, 9 pm EDGEFIELD—Skip vonKuske, 7 pm, free GOODFOOT—Sonic Forum Open Mic, 8 pm, $1 HAWTHORNE THEATRE—Title Fight, Pianos Become the Teeth, Single Mothers, Lee Corey Oswald, 7 pm, $12-14, all ages ★ HOLOCENE—Kid Koala, Adira Amram & the Experience, 8:30 pm, $15 ISLAND MANA WINES—David & Goliath, 4 pm JADE LOUNGE—Cover Songs Spectacular: Elie Charpentier, 6 pm JIMMY MAK’S—Dan Balmer, 8 pm, free KELLS—Bill Tollner, 9 pm ★ KELLY’S OLYMPIAN—Speaker Minds, The Bad Tenants, Bad Habitat, 8 pm, $6 LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE—Portland Country Underground, 6 pm, free; Kung Pao Chickens, 9 pm, free MISSISSIPPI PIZZA PUB—Mr. Ben, 5 pm, all ages MUDDY RUDDER—Lloyd Jones, 8 pm MUSIC MILLENNIUM—Community Day/Songwriter���s Circle: John Bunzow, Jon Koonce, Jack McMahon, 10 am, free, all ages PUB AT THE END OF THE UNIVERSE—Open Mic, 8 pm, free QUIMBY’S AT 19TH—Soul Mates, 7 pm ROCK BOTTOM BREWERY—Mt. Air Studios, 10 pm TIGER BAR—AC Lov Ring, 9 pm WHITE EAGLE—The Infinity of it All, Will Kinky, 8:30 pm, free

TUESDAY 11/6 ALBERTA ROSE THEATRE—Election Night!: Fast Rattler, David Rovics, Kory Quinn, Mono Operandi, 5:30 pm, free AL’S DEN—Mishka Shubaly, 7 pm, free ANDINA—Neftali Rivera, 7 pm ASH STREET SALOON—Poe & Monroe, Emergency, Icanicants, 9:15 pm, free BACKSPACE—G-Eazy, Mod Sun, Pat Brown, 7:30 pm, $12 BLUE MONK—Pagan Jug Band, 6:30 pm, free ★ BUNK BAR—Blood Beach, Cloaks, 9 pm, $3 CAMELLIA LOUNGE—Tom Wakeling, 8 pm, $6 ★ DIG A PONY—Election Night: Sweet Jimmy T, 6 pm

DUFF’S GARAGE—Trio Bravo, 6 pm, $2; Dover Weinberg Quartet, 9 pm, $2 EDGEFIELD—Muriel Stanton, 7 pm, free THE ELIXIR LAB—Johnny D’s Community Jam, 7 pm ELLA STREET SOCIAL CLUB—Pinscape, Space Waves, Cober, 9 pm, $5 GOODFOOT—Scott Pemberton Trio, 9 pm, free; Radula, 9 pm, free ★ HAWTHORNE THEATRE—Tilly & The Wall, Icky Blossoms, Adventure Galley, 7 pm, $13.50-15, all ages HAWTHORNE THEATRE LOUNGE—That Much Further West Radio, 4 pm, free THE HUTCH—Open Mic, 8 pm, free IVORIES—Jazz Jam: Carey Campbell, Hank Hirsh Trio, 7:30 pm JADE LOUNGE—Colin Johnson, 7 pm KELLS—Bill Tollner, 9 pm ★ KELLY’S OLYMPIAN—Chicharones, Whiskey Avengers, Abadawn, Kill Party, 9 pm, $5 THE KNOW—7 & a Switchblade, Rotties, Counterfeit Cash, 8 pm LANDMARK SALOON—Honky Tonk Union, 7 pm ★ LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE—Jackstraw, 6 pm, free LV’S—Ron Steen’s Jazz Jam, 8:30 pm MISSISSIPPI PIZZA PUB—John Simon & the Fair Ophelia, 6 pm ★ MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS—Sophie Barker, Suzanne Tufan, 9 pm, $8-10 MOCK CREST TAVERN—Johnnie Ward & The Eagle Ridin’ Papas, 8:30 pm ★ MT. TABOR THEATER—Open Mic Night: Simon Tucker, 8 pm, free; Nappy Roots, Serge Severe, 8:30 pm, $10 QUIMBY’S AT 19TH—Tom Grant, 8:30 pm, free ROCK BOTTOM BREWERY—Brothers ’n’ Laws, 9 pm SHAKER AND VINE—Arthur Moore’s Harmonica Party, 8 pm SLIM’S—Open Mic, 9 pm, free STAR THEATER—8mm, 9 pm, $10 TASTE ON 23RD—Brandstson Duo, 6:30 pm, free THIRSTY LION—Eric John Kaiser”, 9 pm TWILIGHT CAFE & BAR—Open Mic Night: The Roaming, 8 pm VINO VIXENS—Arthur Moore’s Harmonica Party, 6 pm ★ WHITE EAGLE—The Ascetic Junkies, Goose & Fox, Left & the Twin, 8:30 pm, free

WEDNESDAY 11/7 ★ ALADDIN THEATER—Stars, Jets Overhead, 8 pm, $20 ALBERTA ROSE THEATRE—Woman of Heart and Mind: A Joni Mitchell Birthday Tribute: Anne Weiss, Kris Deelane, Bre Gregg, Paula Sinclair, Sue Zakolar, Dan Gaynor, 8 pm, $10-12 AL’S DEN—Mishka Shubaly, 7 pm, free ANDINA—Jason Okamoto, 7 pm ASH STREET SALOON—42 Ford Prefect, Blackout Dates, Jonesmore, 9:30 pm, $5 BACKSPACE—The Volt Per Octaves, Rainbows, 9 pm, all ages BIDDY MCGRAW’S—Half-Step Shy Happy Hour: David Gerow, 6 pm, all ages BLUE DIAMOND—The Fenix Project, 9 pm BUFFALO GAP—Andy Stokes, 9 pm CAMELLIA LOUNGE—The Goods Jazz Jam: Errick Lewis & the Regiment House Band, 8:30 pm ★ DOUG FIR—Rags & Ribbons, The Horde & The Harem, The Ascetic Junkies, 9 pm, $5 DUFF’S GARAGE—High Flyers, 6 pm, $2; Suburban Slim’s Blues Jam: Suburban Slim, John Neish, Jeff Strawbridge, 9 pm EAST BURN—Irish Music Jam, 7 pm ★ EAST END—Rabbits, Owl, Crag Dweller, Heavy Voodoo, 9 pm EDGEFIELD—Crown Point, 7 pm, free ELLA STREET SOCIAL CLUB—Alto, Cool Hair, Painted Debris, 9 pm, $3 EUGENIO’S—Open Mic, 6:30 pm FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN—Kory Quinn, 9:30 pm GOOD NEIGHBOR PIZZERIA—Open Mic GOODFOOT—Garcia Birthday Band, 9 pm, $5 GROOVE SUITE—Low Limit, The Great Mundane, Graintable, Brownbear, 10 pm, $5-7 ★ HOLOCENE—Slim Fortune, Sun Angle, XDS, No Tomorrow Boys, DJ Pretty Ugly, 8:30 pm, free ISLAND MANA WINES—David & Goliath, 4 pm IVORIES—Dave Fleschner, Alan Hagar, 7:30 pm, $5 JADE LOUNGE—Hazel Rickard, 7 pm; Adria & Friends, 7 pm JIMMY MAK’S—Mel Brown Quartet, 8 pm, $5 KAUL AUDITORIUM, REED COLLEGE—We’ll Meet Again: the Songs of Kate Smith: Stephanie Blythe, 7:30 pm KELLS—Bill Tollner, 9 pm KELLY’S OLYMPIAN—Yo Adrian, Absent Minds”, Smash Bandits, 9 pm, $5 THE KNOW—Vattnet Viskar, Chasma, Spectral Tombs, 8 pm LANDMARK SALOON—Bob Shoemaker, 6 pm; Jake Ray & The Cowdogs, 9:30 pm

503.288.3895 3939 N. Mississippi info@mississippistudios.com

8pm doors/ 9pm show BarBar all ages until 9pm 21+ unless otherwise noted

Hillbilly flavored swing and ragtime

Infectious and sinister pop

THE YOUNG EVILS

PETUNIA & THE VIPERS

THE MALDIVES Thu, Nov 1

$12 Adv

OLD LIGHT hungry ghost

Opbmusic Presents PDX/Rx:

Sat, Nov 3

DEATH SONGS APPENDIXES

Fri, Nov 2

$10 Adv

CINEBITCH PRESENTS:

SISTERS OF 77

Archival footage & interviews bring the 1977 N’tl Womens Conference back to life

Mon, Nov 5 6:30pm Doors/7pm Show $5-10 DOS DECISION TWENTY-TWELVE

Free Show!

101.9 KINK.FM Presents: An artist whose luscious vocals and soulful songs are highlighted with her latest album, Seagull

SOPHIE BARKER

Tue, Nov 6 4pm Doors/4pm Broadcast in BAR BAR Free! Hooky, saucy, punky songwriting in a mood somewhere between Be Your Own Pet & the Donnas

THOSE DARLINS

(OF ZERO 7)

SUZANNE TUFAN Tue, Nov 6

$8 Adv

Heavy Cream Wed, Nov 7

·

Don’t $12 Adv

Siren Nation Festival Presents: Radical live performances from inventive & liberated performers

JD SAMSON & MEN EMA LA SERA

Thu, Nov 8

$15 Adv

20th Anniversary TRANS AM

LITURGY ETERNAL TAPESTRY BARN OWL · MIKE SCHEIDT GOLDEN RETRIEVER · JASON URICK

Fri, Nov 9 7pm Doors/7:30pm Show $12 Adv New Orleans indie band of classic pop cuts and new wave rhythms

GENERATIONALS

GATSBY ROARING 20’s

w/DJ BEYONDA

Sat, Nov 10 10pm Doors/10pm Show $5 DoS Noise-pop bliss with a nod to the 90s

RACES Sun, Nov 11

$10 Adv

ROOMRUNNER BAHAMAS Juno nominated Toronto artist making atmospheric and arresting folk

THE TOMORROW PEOPLE SUMMER CANNIBALS

Mon, Nov 12

Coming Soon... 11/15: EMMITT-NERSHI BAND 11/16: EMMITT-NERSHI BAND 11/17: SUSANNA HOFFS 11/18: RAC 11/19: DELICATE STEVE 11/20: TESTICIDE XV 11/21: SOUL VACCINATION 11/23: TONY FURTADO BAND 11/24: THE LOVE LOUNGERS

$6 Adv

THE WORLD RADIANT Tue, Nov 13

11/25: BLOOD BEACH 11/27: PETER AMES CARLIN 11/28: LEE DEWYZE 11/29: AND AND AND 11/30: CALIFONE 12/1: BATTLEME / MY GOODNESS 12/2: LAWRENCE ARABIA 12/3: CINEBITCH 12/5: MOONDOGGIES 12/6: SCOTT LAW REUNION BAND

$12 Adv 12/7: THE CHARLIE HUNTER & SCOTT AMENDOLA DUO 12/8: SARA WATKINS (EARLY) 12/8: MRS (LATE) 12/9: PDX/RX: SHY GIRLS 12/11: LOST BAYOU RAMBLERS 12/12: PINEHURST KIDS 12/13: THE DIMES 12/14: DAVID BAZAN BAND 12/15: COREY SMITH

mississippistudios.com November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 29


30 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012


DJ LISTINGS LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE—Renegade Stringband, 6 pm; Counterfeit Cash, 9 pm, free MISSISSIPPI PIZZA PUB—Mr. Hoo, Wed, noon, all ages; Samsel & the Skirt, 9:30 pm ★ MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS—Those Darlins, Heavy Cream, Don’t, 9 pm, $12 MUDDY RUDDER—Sleepy Eyed Johns, 8 pm O’CONNORS VAULT—Jon Koonce & One More Mile, 8 pm, free THE PRESS CLUB—Ezra Holbrook, 8 pm RED ROOM—Open Mic, 9 pm ROCK BOTTOM BREWERY—Jordan Harris, 9 pm ROSE GARDEN—Unashamed: LeCrae, Trip Lee, Tedashii, Pro, KB, Andy Mineo, 7 pm, $19.50, all ages ★ SOMEDAY LOUNGE—Siren & the Sea, Native Siblings, Hustle & Drone, Albatross, 9 pm, $6 SUNDOWN PUB—SongWrecker Cabaret, 9 pm TIGER BAR—Silencer, 9 pm, $5 TONY STARLIGHT’S—Mel Kubik, Christopher Woitach, 7:30 pm, $8 VIE DE BOHEME—Solomon Douglas, 8 pm, $8 THE WAYPOST—Classical Revolution, 7 pm ★ WHITE EAGLE—The Royalty, Grand Tarantula, Bend Sinister, The Hoons, 9 pm, $10-12

DJ LISTINGS THURSDAY 11/1 CC SLAUGHTERS—Hiphop Heaven: DJ Alex Hollywood, 9 pm, free CROWN ROOM—Counter Culture, 10 pm, free THE EMBERS AVENUE—Request Night: DJ Jens FEZ—Shadowplay: DJ Horrid, DJ Ghoulunatic, DJ Paradox, 9 pm, free JONES—New Jack Swing: Doc Adam, 10 pm, $5 THE LOVECRAFT—Vortex: DJ Kenny, John & Skip, 9 pm LUCKY DEVIL—DJ Panty Droppa, free ★ MATADOR—DJ A-Train, 10 pm, free MOLOKO PLUS—King Tim 33.3, Discus Noir, 10 pm, free NICK’S FAMOUS CONEY ISLAND—Eye Candy: VJ Norto, The Phantom Hillbilly, 9 pm, free RADIO ROOM—Ghost Train, 9 pm SANTA FE TAQUERIA—Salsa Social SOS: DJ Armando SAUCEBOX—Evan Alexander SOMEDAY LOUNGE—Happy Hour: Mr. Romo, DJ Michael Grimes, 4 pm THE SPARE ROOM—DJ Doc Rock, 9 pm, free TIGA—DJ Womb Service TRADER VIC’S—DJ Drew Groove, 6 pm TUBE—Big Trouble in Little Chinatown: DJ Zimmie, Dev From Above, 7 pm VAULT—Jams: DJ 60/40 WORKSHOP PUB—Phonographix Video DJs, 9 pm

FRIDAY 11/2 BEECH ST. PARLOR—Musique Plastique BLITZ 21—DJ Sovern-T, 9 pm, free CC SLAUGHTERS—Filthy Fridays: DJ Robb, 9 pm, free ★ DEVILS POINT—DJ Kenoy, 9 pm, free ELEMENT—Chris Alice, 9 pm THE EMBERS AVENUE—On the Avenue: DJ Jens, 9 pm GOODFOOT—DJ Magneto, 9 pm, $5 ★ GROOVE SUITE—Static: Roman Zawodny, Ctrl_Alt_ Dlt, 10 pm, $5-7 HOLOCENE—John Dee-J, 5 pm, free JONES—Back to the Future Fridays: DJ Zimmie, 8 pm, $5 LOLA’S ROOM—’80s Video Dance Attack: VJ Kittyrox, 8 pm, $6 THE LOVECRAFT—Brickbat Mansion: Curatrix, DJ Wednesday, 10 pm, free LUCKY DEVIL—DJ Joe, free MATADOR—Infamous: DJ Rattooth, DJ Makeout, 10 pm, free MOTHERS VELVET LOUNGE CAFE—Mr. Mumu ★ ROTTURE—Shut Up & Dance: DJ Gregarious, 10 pm, $5 STAR BAR—Blank Fridays: DJ Paultimore, 10 pm TIGA—DJ Rndm Noise TRIPLE NICKEL—DJ Stockholmz, 9:30 pm TUBE—Hot Mess: Doc Adam, 7 pm VALENTINE’S—Heart Full of Soul: DJ Drew Groove, 9 pm

SATURDAY 11/3 AURA—Twice as Nice: DJ TJ, A Train, Tandem, 10 pm, $10 BEECH ST. PARLOR—Selector TNT CC SLAUGHTERS—House of Hollywood: DJ Alex Hollywood, 9 pm, free THE CONQUISTADOR—DJ Rhienna, DJF CRUZROOM—John-Lewis Lookingglass, Theronious Chunk, 10 pm, free DEVILS POINT—DJ Brooks, 9 pm, free THE EMBERS AVENUE—Portland Tonight: DJ Jens, 9 pm FEZ—Twice as Nice: DJ TJ, A Train, Tandem, 10 pm, $10 GOLD DUST MERIDIAN—Clap Trap: DJ Gregarious, DJ Disorder, 10 pm, free

GREELEY AVE. BAR AND GRILL—Eye Candy: VJ Norto, The Phantom Hillbilly, 9 pm, free GROOVE SUITE—After Dark ★ HOLOCENE—Booty Bassment: Ryan Poulsen, Dimitri Dickinson, Maxx Bass, Nathan Detroit, 9 pm, $5 JONES—’80s & ‘90s Dance Music, 10 pm, $5 LOLA’S ROOM—All Decades Video Dance Attack, 8 pm, $5 THE LOVECRAFT—DJ Miss Prid, 9 pm LUCKY DEVIL—DJ Kenoy, free MOLOKO PLUS—King Tim 33.3, Discus Noir, 10 pm, free MOTHERS VELVET LOUNGE CAFE—Mr. Mumu ★ ROTTURE—Andaz: DJ Anjali, The Incredible Kid, 9 pm, $3-7 ★ THE SECRET SOCIETY—Soulciety: DJ Drew Groove, Katrina Martiani, 9 pm, $4 THE SPARE ROOM—Sugar Town: DJ Action Slacks, 9 pm, $5 THE TARDIS ROOM—DJ Who, 9 pm, free TIGA—Gabe Celestino TRIPLE NICKEL—DJ Stockholmz, 9:30 pm TUBE—DJ Freaky Outty, 7 pm

SUNDAY 11/4 AALTO LOUNGE—Whiskey Bitters, 9 pm, free ALLEYWAY CAFE & BAR—Country Music, 3 pm, free, all ages ★ BEULAHLAND—The Original Eye Candy Video Night: VJ Norto, The Phantom Hillbilly, 9 pm, free CC SLAUGHTERS—Superstar Divas, DJ Robb, 8 pm, free CRUSH—DJ Mikey, 10 am-2 pm DEVILS POINT—Stripparaoke: KJ Zero, 9 pm, free THE EMBERS AVENUE—Noches Latinas: DJ Marco, 9 pm GOLD DUST MERIDIAN—DJ Tennessee Tim, 10 pm, free LUCKY DEVIL—Ladies Night: DJ Mani, free

MONDAY 11/5 BEECH ST. PARLOR—Kendall Holladay BLUE MONK—Deep Cuts, 8 pm CLUB 21—Witch Throne GROUND KONTROL—Service Industrial: DJ Tibin, 9 pm KELLY’S OLYMPIAN—Eye Candy: VJ Norto, Phantom Hillbilly, 8 pm, free MATADOR—I Don’t Like Mondays: DJ Rhienna, DJF, 10 pm, free O’MALLEY’S SALOON & GRILL—Heavy Metal Monday: Bozyk, 9 pm SOMEDAY LOUNGE—El Rubio, 6 pm, free STAR BAR—Metal Mondays: DJ Blackhawk, 10 pm, free

TUESDAY 11/6 BEECH ST. PARLOR—DJ Doug Ferious; DJ Arcadia CC SLAUGHTERS—DJ Robb, 9 pm, free CLUB 21—DJ Dirty Red CROWN ROOM—See You Next Tuesday: Kellan, DJ Avery, 9 pm, free ★ DEVILS POINT—DJ Kenoy, 9 pm, free THE EMBERS AVENUE—Recycle: DJ Tibin, 9 pm, free GROUND KONTROL—Rock Band Tuesdays: MC T. Wrecks, 9 pm, free THE LOVECRAFT—Tom Waits Night: DJ Full of Bourbon, 8 pm; Death Club: DJ Entropy, 10 pm MATADOR—DJ Donny Don’t, 10 pm, free STAR BAR—DJ Smooth Hopperator, 10 pm, free ★ SWIFT LOUNGE—Boogie Tuesday: Maxx Bass, Gwizski, Mikie Lixx TIGA—DJ Never Forget TRADER VIC’S—DJ Cabana, 6 pm TUBE—Tubesday, 10 pm

HALLOWEEN

STOREWIDE SALE Oct. 31-NOv. 4

25% off

all used cds, dvds & vinyl

50% off

all green-tagged vinyl & skuf cds

WEDNESDAY 11/7 BEECH ST. PARLOR—DJ vs. Nature CC SLAUGHTERS—Trick: DJ Robb, 9 pm, free CRUZROOM—Do You Remember Rock & Roll Radio: Pat Kearns, Mark Brachmann THE EMBERS AVENUE—Gothic Industrial: DJ Jens, 9 pm FIRKIN TAVERN—VJ Norto, 9 pm JONES—Spin Sugar: Doc Adam, 10 pm, $5 LADD’S INN—DJ Kutthroat, 9:30 pm, free THE LOVECRAFT—DJ Nealie Neal, DJ Unruly, 9 pm MOLOKO PLUS—King Tim 33.3, Discus Noir, 10 pm, free THE REFECTORY—Wednesday Eastside Karaoke: KJ RC, 8 pm SAUCEBOX—DJ Nealie Neal TIGA—DJ Bill Portland TIGER BAR—Juicy Wednesdays: DJ Detroit Diezel, 9 pm, $2 TUBE—No Counts: Chazz Madrigal, 10 pm THE WHISKEY BAR—Whiskey Wednesdays: American Girls, 10 pm, free

used new &s & Vinyl Vd Cds, d DOWNTOWN • 1313 W. Burnside • 503.274.0961 EASTSIDE • 1931 NE Sandy Blvd. • 503.239.7610 BEAVERTON • 3290 SW Cedar Hills Blvd. • 503.350.0907 OPEN EVERYDAY AT 9 A.m. | www.EVERYDAYmusic.cOm November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 31


CULTURE/ART/PDX COMIC BOOK REVIEWS

personal ads for company. Building Stories isn’t exactly a kinder, gentler Ware—his eye for selfdelusion and hypocrisy is still piercingly sharp, and no one gets a happily ever after—but it makes for an expansive reading experience heavy on the childlike pleasures of exploration and discovery. The artist with the prosthetic leg has the most complete, well-documented storyline—she lives alone in the building until she meets a man, marries, and has a kid; then she moves to the suburbs and mourns her lost potential. But in sifting through Building Stories, the reader probably won’t experience her story in such a linear manner—there’s no roadmap explaining what order to read the stories in. The overall effect is a bit like sorting through someone else’s memories, never sure what you’re going to come across next. It’s an absorbing, satisfying reading experience, one that will reward multiple rereads, thanks to the unique, unpredictable way its storylines unfold. ALISON HALLETT

going on? Eh. But letting Burns’ trippy, poppy, bizarro world and its inscrutabilities wash over you is a visceral and ultimately rewarding experience, like putting Hergé’s Tintin through the rotating blades of a David Cronenberg and William S. Burroughs blender. X’ed Out described art student Doug’s burgeoning relationship with troubled Sarah, while a story about Doug’s alter ego, Nitnit, mirrored the “real” world in a strange Naked Lunch-like landscape filled with cursing green lizard drones and a pig-faced sidekick. In The Hive, an older Doug fleshes out what might’ve happened with Sarah and how he got that head wound, while Nitnit gets a peculiar new job as an aide in the alternate world’s hive/hospital. It’s a tangle, and the thought of having to wait another two years to figure out what’s going on is frustrating, but Burns’ knack for combining the grotesque and uncanny with a pervading sense of unease certainly worked in his excellent Black Hole. So I’ll be patient for that day when I can read all three, back-to-back in one sitting. COURTNEY FERGUSON

The Curse by Mike Norton (Oni Press)

Building Stories by Chris Ware (Pantheon)

C

HRIS WARE is widely acknowledged to be a comics genius—a genius who depresses the hell out of people. Known for his obsessively detailed page layouts and subject matter that often emphasizes loneliness, depression, and, um, the basic meaningless of existence, his work is formally brilliant and thematically rough going. But while sometimes just picking up an issue of his Acme Novelty Library can induce claustrophobia, his new project Building Stories opens up in a very literal way. Packaged in a box that resembles a board game, Building Stories has 14 individual components, from pamphlets to picture book-sized hardbacks to a mocked-up newspaper. (There’s even a book laid out to resemble a Little Golden Book, flowered end pages and all.) Each element contains a portion of a story revolving around a Chicago apartment building and its inhabitants: There’s a married couple whose happiness is stymied by their inability to simply be kind to one another; an aging landlady who’s prone to drifting into remembrances of her past; and an aspiring artist with a prosthetic leg, who lives alone with her cat and trawls newspaper

32 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012

Ridiculously inventive, stunning to look at, and crammed with Vaughan’s big ideas, trademark cliffhangers, and addictive banter, Saga blends sci-fi and fantasy in a way few books dare to: It dumps the reader right in the midst of a war between two worlds, with one outcast couple trying to survive—and trying to protect their newborn daughter. Along the way there’s a ghost nanny, an arachnid bounty hunter, a talking cat, robots doing it doggy-style, wooden spaceships, and a phenomenal breadth of drama, action, and humor. If it sounds overwhelming, it is; if it sounds incredibly exciting and weird and creepy and fun, it’s those things too. Six issues in, Saga’s the best book on the shelves, and if the issues so far have been any indication, it’s only going to get better. ERIK HENRIKSEN

Saga by Brian K. Vaughan, Fiona Staples (Image)

The Hive by Charles Burns (Pantheon) THERE’S A PRETTY heady mystery boiling in Charles Burns’ full-color comic book trilogy, a series that started with 2010’s X’ed Out and now continues with The Hive. Do I know what’s

THIS IS HOW you do it. After years away from comics, Y: The Last Man writer Brian K. Vaughan returned with Saga, a creator-owned sci-fi fantasy. Illustrated with verve and style by the phenomenal Fiona Staples, Saga debuted with a double-sized issue for $3—and, despite comics’ shortsighted trend of glutting the market with $4 comics, each subsequent issue of Saga stayed at only $3. Now its first six issues are collected in paperback for $10. When it comes to commonsense pricing and easy accessibility, you can’t do much better than Saga—and more importantly, when it comes to flat-out great comics, you can’t do much better than Saga, either.

THE RAMPAGING WEREPIRATE in Mike Norton’s new comic book had humble beginnings. Every year in October, the worldwide comic book community gathers to overcaffeinate and hunch over white paper in a mad dash to complete a 24page comic book in just 24 hours. The Curse is a collection of the three stories that Norton completed on 24-Hour Comics Day over the last three years—and if his hilarious finished product is any indication, Norton was a deliriously inspired mad genius during those October days. The Curse is a madcap analog to Norton’s swords-and-sandals webseries Battlepug (featuring a huge pug, natch!). All three stories are loosely connected by an adorable pug named Baxter, whose owner has been infected by a werepirate and is now sprouting eye patches and peg legs at an alarming rate. What follows is a string of exclamation-worthy story elements: pirate pug! David Bowie’s oh-so-prominent crotch! The town of Nilbog! Oh my god, is that Jeffrey Combs?! I could go on exclaiming, but let’s just leave off with a statement: Norton’s The Curse is a funny, off-kilter, pugfilled delight. COURTNEY FERGUSON


L

OCAL POETRY PRESS Bedouin Books brings to mind the chicken-egg conundrum of book publishing: If a writer doesn’t have an agent, it’s hard to get a manuscript in front of an editor, and without a book—preferably a commercially successful one—it’s difficult for a writer to attract the attention of an agent. That’s why

THEATER REVIEW

Dracula, A Musical Nightmare Stumptown Stages, PCPA’s Brunish Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 946-7272, Thurs-Sat 7:30 pm, Sun 2 pm, through Nov 11, $15-30, stumptownstages.com

S

OMETIMES HEADLINES write themselves, and there are some pretty low-hanging suck

ground. Abstraction is elected over the concrete substance of daily life, philosophical exploration over the ways in which those philosophies are applied. The metaphors, the self-described truths of the work, pile up; helium-filled balloons escaping unnamed hands to drift upward and pop in the sky’s high places. Coleman Stevenson’s debut collection, The Accidental Rarefication of Pattern #5609, is a bit more linear, with roots in the physical world. For instance: “a film of decomposition sped forward/ appears to reanimate a dead thing/the body of the little fox frantic with ants,/the saprobic swell of hydrogen and nitrogen,/that nods the head and wags the tail again.” But it’s not all dark, decaying things; it’s also “the animatronic pigeon’s lack of a past” making it “perfect”—moments that reflect the careful unpacking of experience. In addition to Williams and Stevenson, George Marie will read from Dismember, an upcoming Bedouin release. Of the aforementioned titles, D’Alessandro says he hopes “readers will walk away with a sense that the writing... is important... a harbinger of the future of publishing.” With the champagne overflow of endless internet, it’s a tall order, but I’ll raise my glass and wish him luck. MATT STANGEL

puns available to critics of Dracula, A Musical Nightmare. Stumptown Stages’ labored production takes just under three hours to tell a familiar story wrapped in inexpert burlesque-hall camp. Funnier, sexier, and more competent work can be found in Portland’s actual burlesque halls; Stumptown Stages strains to keep Dracula aloft on breezy holiday spirit, but both the venue and the uninspired material conspire against the production. The Portland Center for the Performing Arts’ Brunish Theatre—the small space upstairs—has been converted to contain a small, slightly recessed stage surrounded on three sides by seats. Visibility can suffer in the side seats, although a better seat would by no means have transformed this into a better production. A flamboyant emcee (Kirk Mouser), backed by three tarted-up dancers, introduces the tale of Dracula and his foes—a show-within-a-show that occasionally sees fit to announce its dazzling self-awareness by having an actor shout “stage convention!” during particularly contrived bits. The action cuts between “an English music hall,” Dracula’s castle, and the sanitarium where Dracula’s loyal servant Renfield snacks on bugs and plots to do his master’s bidding.

The show suffers from program note comparisons to The Rocky Horror Show and Little Shop of Horrors—similarly themed entertainments that have actually pulled off horror-tinged camp. But Dracula just isn’t funny, and if you remove humor from the show’s concept, all you’re left with is a labored retread of too-familiar material. There is one bright note here: As Doctor Seward, Sam Dinkowitz displays the restraint and comedic timing that’s in such short supply in the rest of the production. Dinkowitz has clearly taken the time to locate and refine what's funny about his character, instead of plowing through with the most obvious possible spin like so much of the rest of the cast. (The live pianist and violinist, it should also be noted, provide the show a sturdy backing—it’s not their fault the music itself is relentlessly irritating.) In fairness to other tastes than mine, I should note that a recent Sunday matinee audience offered a cheerful standing ovation at the end of the production. I chose to interpret this as a sign that the standing ovation has lost any meaning whatsoever; a more charitable interpretation would be that the Sunday crowd found much to enjoy in this show that I simply did not. ALISON HALLETT

ARTCHART OUR PICKS OF THE WEEK

Derrick Villalpando

Bedouin Books reading with Coleman Stevenson, John Sibley Williams, George Marie Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, Sun Nov 4, 7:30 pm

stories like that of local poet and educator M. D’Alessandro, founder of Bedouin, have become more and more common. “I started Bedouin Books as a vehicle to publish my own poems and writing into pamphlets that I would peddle around San Francisco, and get placed on consignment in independent bookstores,” D’Alessandro writes in an email. Soon after, he started a literary journal and “fell in love with the idea of publishing other writers’ work.” Nowadays, D’Alessandro’s Bedouin publishes chapbooks, pamphlets, and various nontraditional printed objects. The mission of the press is straightforward: “Bedouin Books’ publishing philosophy is to give emerging writers legitimate, quality collections of their work in bound form as a springboard to their careers, publishing credit, as well as something they can sell.” Maybe it goes without saying, but a springboard is only as useful as the poems it’s made from, which leads to the work released by Bedouin Books. From the first lines of John Sibley Williams’ Autobiography of Fever, “OK, so/the metaphor is truth/unquestionable,” a meta-poetry (poetry about poetry) strain is established. The poems are more head-in-the-clouds than feet-on-the-

MELISSA DOW

POETRY REVIEW

I AM, THEREFORE I THINK GROUP SHOW GOODFOOT • 2845 SE STARK • THROUGH NOV 27

Vote/Funny 2012—Who says voting has to be a solitary, joyless affair? Join local stand-ups Stephanie Purtle, Phil Schallberger, Whitney Streed, and others as they parse the 2012 ballot. Brody

Theater, 16 NW Broadway, Thurs Nov 1, 7:30 pm, $6, all ages, brodytheater.com Theo Ellsworth—A party for the release of The Understanding Monster, including an exhibit of art from the book. Floating World Comics, 400 NW Couch,

Thurs Nov 1, 6 pm, floatingworldcomics.com Robin Sloan—Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore is a story of global conspiracy and young love set in a hole-in-the-wall San Francisco bookstore. Pow-

ell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, Fri Nov 2, 7:30 pm, powells.com Peter ’n’ Chris—Canadian duo Peter ’n’ Chris have racked up all kinds of acclaim for their physical, high-energy sketch comedy. They make their Portland debut with The Mystery of the Hungry Heart Hotel. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE

MLK, Fri Nov 2-Sat Nov 3, 8 pm, $12-15, curiouscomedy.org Live Wire!—Portland’s homegrown radio variety show has a killer lineup this week, including writer Cheryl Strayed, biographer Peter Ames Carlin, cartoonist Jack Ohman, and Swedish musician Jens Lekman.

Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta, Sat Nov 3, 7:30 pm, $18-34, livewireradio.org

PO RTLAN D M E RCU RY.CO M HAS A COMPLETE CALENDAR OF ARTS EVENTS

Jesus is King?

 

ThinkRenaissance.org

November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 33


ARTSCALENDAR

READINGS

LETT Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott, 488-5822, Thurs-Sat 7:30 pm, Sat-Sun 2 pm, through Nov 25, $21-40

THURSDAY 11/1

BODY AWARENESS

Mortified celebrates five years of storytellers clambering onstage clutching fistfuls of schadenfruede and sheer embarrassment to share with an eager audience. Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan, 223-4527, ThursFri 8 pm, $12

Self-definition, the autism spectrum, and the male gaze: all are under consideration in playwright Annie Baker’s Body Awareness, currently running at the CoHo. It's a focused, smart little show, full of thoughtful performances from actors who clearly understand their characters. ALISON HALLETT CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh, 2202646, Thurs-Sat 7:30 pm, through Nov 10, $20-25

FRIDAY 11/2

THE BODY OF AN AMERICAN

MORTIFIED PORTLAND: 5TH ANNIVERSARY

A reading from Jon Raymond, author of Rain Dragon and screenwriter of HBO’s Mildred Pierce; and Catherine Wagner, author of Nervous Device. PSU’s Smith Memorial Student Union, 1825 SW Broadway, 7 pm, free

Playwright Dan O’Brien’s story of befriending war reporter Paul Watson, and the roles each takes in helping the other handle the responsibilities, and damages, of bearing witness. Ellyn Bye Studio at the Armory, 128 NW 11th, 445-3700, Tues-Sun 7:30 pm and Sat-Sun 2 pm, through Nov 11, $20-39

SATURDAY 11/3

DUCK FOR PRESIDENT

A presentation from pianist Barbara Arnell and Portland Opera Soprano Jennie Spada, introducing works familiar and obscure. Includes performances of select Gershwin works. Collins Gallery Central Library, 801 SW 10th, 3:30 pm

Oregon Children’s Theatre puts up a third option for the 2012 election: A protest-organizing, lobbyist, education reforming duck who decides he’s sick of farm chores and wants to be president. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335, Sat 2 & 5 pm and Sun 2 pm, through Nov 4, $18-30

JON RAYMOND, CATHERINE WAGNER

GERSHWIN: FAMOUS AND RARE

LUCAS FOGLIA

NOVEMBER.11.2012 5-10pm 1022 SW STARK ST. TICKETS AT ACE HOTEL: $15 ADVANCE / $20 DOOR Julia Barbee

PINO

Bridge & Burn

Joshua Buck Chicago Harper Studio SKB

Btwn Wind & Water Moonwoods Tanner Goods Jayme Hansen, Kate Fenker, Hans Lindauer Sara Bergman Reif Brady Lange Sword + Fern Portland Garment Factory LiFT Bwana Spoons

Made on the Moon Draught Dry Goods The Portland Collection Honeyfox Jewelry Vanport Outfitters Dawn Sharp Ruki Kate Towers Demimonde Poler The Good Flock Carly Mick

>>steered by

A discussion and book signing by Foglia about his photographic monograph A Natural Order, chronicling people who have left the urban life to live off the grid in the rural Southeast. Ampersand Vintage, 2916 NE Alberta, 805-5458, 7:30 pm

SUNDAY 11/4 CHRIS KRAUS

A reading from Kraus’ new novel Summer of Hate, an existential noir concerning a hunted writer and a recovering addict fresh out of jail. YU Contemporary, 800 SE 10th, 236-7996, 3 pm

BLOOD SISTERS OF THE REPUBLIC A poetry reading from Wendy Willis and David Biespiel. Powell’s Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne, 228-4651, 4 pm

MONDAY 11/5

AUTHORS IN PUBS Local writers, in a bar, drinking and sharing their original stories. Jack London Bar at the Rialto, 529 SW 4th, 227-5327, 7 pm

DEB PERELMAN The Smitten Kitchen Cookbook offers more than 100 recipes from the cook, mother, and photographer behind SmittenKitchen.com. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 228-4651, 7:30 pm

THE MOTH STORYSLAM A spinoff of the nationwide storytelling success, in which potential soul-barers put their names in a hat, and once called, have five minutes to tell their tale. The Secret Society, 116 NE Russell, 493-3600, 8 pm, $8

TUESDAY 11/6 NOAH VAN SCIVER

A celebration for the release of The Hypo: The Melancholic Young Lincon, a graphic novel documentation of Abraham Lincoln’s life with depression. Floating World Comics, 400 NW Couch, 241-0227, 6 pm

LAINI TAYLOR Days of Blood & Starlight is the sequel to Portland author Laini Taylor’s Daughter of Smoke and Bone, which tells the less-emo-than-it-sounds tale of a love affair between an angel and a demon. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills, Beaverton, 228-4651, 7 pm

WEDNESDAY 11/7 POLINA OLSEN

A reading from Portland in the 1960s, about the decade in which Portland legitimately earned its reputation as a hippie wonderland. Annie Bloom’s Books, 7834 SW Capitol Hwy., 246-0053, 7 pm

THEATER THE BLACK LIZARD The return of Imago’s English-language production of Yukio Mishima’s grotesque erotic mystery about a murderous jewel thief. Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th, 231-9581. Thurs 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat 8 pm and Sun 2 pm, through Nov 4, $15-30

BLOODY BLOODY ANDREW JACKSON

ACEHOTEL.COM/CONTENT

34 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012

The conflicted, aggrandizing presidential personality at the heart of the musical Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson is Andrew Jackson like we’ve never seen him before. As played by Seattle’s Logan Benedict, Jackson is a rock star, a self-serious, self-mythologizing people’s president in skinny jeans (they could be tighter) and floppy emo hair. It’s a fantastic script, but Portland Playhouse’s uneven production suffers in striking a balance between comedy, musical spectacle, and legitimate historical tragedy. ALISON HAL-

THE LOST BOYS - LIVE From the team behind the wildly successful Road House: The Play! comes The Lost Boys—Live! Now, I watched The Lost Boys movie pretty recently, and I wouldn’t have thought it could possibly work onstage—but I just saw it happen, and it was glorious. The live show treats all of the over-the-top bits from the movie with a hilariously lo-fi hand. ELINOR JONES Ethos/IFCC, 5340 N Interstate, 823-4322, Fri-Sat 8 pm, through Nov 3, $18-22

FALL OF THE BAND An episodic, live, semi-improvised comedy series following the life and times of Portland band Ghost Dad, dealing with the fallout caused by the loss of their lead singer. Action/Adventure Theater, 1050 SE Clinton, Fri 8 & 10:30 pm, Sat 9 pm and Sun 8 pm, through Nov 18, $12

MOTHER COURAGE AND HER CHILDREN Theatre Vertigo’s production of Bertolt Brecht’s passionate anti-war play, translated by Pulitzer Prize-winner Tony Kushner. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont, Thurs-Sat 7:30 pm and Mon Nov 5, 7:30 pm, through Nov 17, $15

RAIZ - A CELEBRATION OF THE DAY OF THE DEAD The Miracle Theatre’s Day of the Dead show is rooted in the notion that “life is a dream, and death is a passage to an awakening consciousness of reality.” These lofty themes are presented via three interlocking stories, and the show’s success ebbs and flows depending on which storyline is at the forefront. The most engaging moments by far are provided by a scrappy pair of clowns, whose nonverbal bits delight where other storylines just confuse. ALISON HALLETT Miracle Theatre (Teatro Milagro), 525 SE Stark, 236-7253. Thurs 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat 8 pm and Sun 2 pm, through Nov 11, $15-30.

VISUAL ART BACCHANAL BALLROOM A blend of modern club sensibilities with the way Greeks used to do it: showcasing extreme examples of the human physique while dancing and posing as statues. Features performances by dance troupe the Bawdy Beautiful Review, and music by DJ Zimmie. Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park, 226-2811, Thurs Nov 1, 5:30 pm, Thurs Nov 8, 5:30 pm, Thurs Nov 15, 5:30 pm and Thurs Nov 29, 5:30 pm, $7-10

BACHELOR PORTRAITS A series of photographs from Justyna Badach, exploring the relationship between individuals and place by examining the living spaces single men create. Blue Sky Gallery, 122 NW 8th, 225-0210, Thurs Nov 1, 6 pm, Nov 2-Dec 2 and Sat Nov 3, 2 pm

HAPPY BI RTH DAY: A CE LE BRATION OF CHANCE AND LISTENING An exhibit commemorating what would have been John Cage’s 100th birthday, featuring works from Alison Knowles, Ray Johnson, Brad Brown, Molly Dilworth, Luke Murphy, and others, including a piece by Cage himself. PNCA Feldman Gallery, 1241 NW Johnson, 226-4391, through Nov 17

WE MAKE The third annual one-night-only show for the talented minds at Wieden + Kennedy to showcase their creative talents. The Cleaners at the Ace Hotel, 403 SW 10th, Thurs Nov 1, 6 pm

For a complete calendar of arts events, see portlandmercury.com


Sold Out

Retail for Everyone by Marjorie Skinner LIKE THE OFFSPRING of many species, spring and summer seem to be the favored seasons for new arrivals in retail, meaning we’re past the flurry, at least for the foreseeable future. From the Shoe Store to Demimonde, 2012 has been a bountiful year of new stores, and we’ve managed to get a good eyeful of most of them. One of the more quietly located of these, however, is Rhapsody, which has taken up residency in Southeast Portland’s Ford Building. Situated on the edge of the beloved SE Division/Clinton corridor, its more immediate adjacency to the train yards of Southeast Industrial has kept the building’s growing population of fine businesses (the ground floor also boasts destinations Duchess Clothier and Vinnie’s hair salon) from exploding in foot traffic with the same verve as you’ll find up the street. If you’re a stranger to Zanita Zody’s new store, she’s no stranger to retail. Though recently returned to Portland (Zody was born on a commune near Cave Junction and named for her birth’s proximity to a Manzanita tree), Zody spent time in Indiana, where she ran her first two stores. “I really see the store as a canvas,” Zody says of her approach to retail. The interior of the spacious shop is filled with artwork, from a hanging series of wallpaper imagery to the teased-out gauziness of the dressing room curtains. While taking issues of environmental impact and local manufacture seriously (the local Ms. Wood is a store favorite, as are a variety of small lines out of California and the Pacific Northwest, along with more mainstream, versatile pieces from lines like LAmade), Zody primarily takes her cues for stocking the shop from her preferences, and branches into the home décor territory with small ceramics and textiles. The theme that emerges as a result is an emphasis on wearable, functional pieces that have something added to make them distinct; a bit of flair that steers clear of interrupting ease of use, like a subtle asymmetrical, slightly draped hem on an otherwise simple silhouette. A few handy excuses to check Rhapsody out: SE Portland author Wendy Willis will be having a reading for her recently published Blood Sisters of the Republic at the shop this Friday, November 2, at 6 pm, and on Saturday, November 10 (5-8 pm), Rhapsody will host a trunk show featuring Sahlia Jewelry Design, Ms. Wood, Clair Vintage Inspired, Tarte, and MapleXO. Rhapsody, 2505 SE 11th, #117, rhapsodyboutique.com. As for the fellas, East Burnside’s Machus is teaming up with their friends and occasional collaborators at Solestruck for a “cross-bridge” fashion event aimed at the guys on the arms of the girls at fashion shows across the city. Reads the event’s call to arms: “We’ve paid our dues. We’ve followed our better halves to fashion events, drank boxed wine, and gave feedback on high heels. We’ve worn multiple hats as drink-fetchers, clutch-holders, and iPhone photographers. We’ve seen more

FASHION

RHAPSODY

Find Your Perfect Match portlandmercury.com/personals

Oregon Medical Marijuana Delivery ...we bring the medicine right to your door.

avant-garde dresses walk down local runways than we probably need to. And now, it’s our turn, boys.” Whether you fit that put-upon profile or not, this Friday’s event sounds worth taking a free limo ride: A limousine shuttle will run every half hour between the two store locations where you’ll find such temptations as complimentary cuts and grooming from Bishops, beer and whiskey, a “deco-paint shoe station,” and an outpouring of men’s footwear from Solestruck, a shoe store most notorious for its vertiginous, boundary-pushing styles for women. Machus, 542 E Burnside & Solestruck, 417 SW 13th, Fri Nov 2, 7-11 pm. Another major development in retail this week is the announced return of the PDX Pop-Up project, an annual effort across various agencies to activate empty downtown storefronts with temporary, holiday-season shops featuring locally made products. This year’s crop consists of four, including the return of last year’s popular Boys’ Fort (614 SW 11th), which has been residing of late in the smaller confines of Salvage Works in North Portland’s Kenton neighborhood. Their masculine-focused talent for transforming spaces—their stores whip up a blend of custom furniture, small items for the home and wardrobe, and witty art—reflects the talents of Boys’ partners Richard Rolfe and Jake France, who also do a variety of design work from color consultation to home makeovers. Exciting new additions include Wolf’s Apothecary (902 SW Morrison), a combination of locally made beauty and health products and vintage and modern home goods headed up by city herbalist Jewelie Randall (who also owns Flora). The two other shops have an apparel focus, with Monica Cullen and Ben Hermel’s Emit (535 SW 6th), offering “bold, distinctive women’s apparel and accessories.” As the name would suggest, Enchanted Alpaca (902 SW Morrison) will specialized in apparel made with alpaca and other natural fabrics, with goods for men, women, children, and babies. One more thing that’s sure to be an even bigger hit than visiting Santa at the mall: They’re promising to host live alpacas at the store every weekend (!). Adding an injection of excitement to downtown retail and an easy way to find economy-boosting gift ideas, the shops are slated to open on Thursday, November 8, with an opening ceremony hosted by Mayor Sam Adams.

Comment on this story at portlandmercury.com

· All strains labeled for THC, CBD and CBN content · All medicine is strictly organic · All top-shelf strains, and quality · We deliver to you within an hour or so, every day.

ISAAC HERS

Give us a call to discuss your needs - 503-901-8818 or visit us online at OregonMedicalMarijuanaDelivery.com

Rx Glasses

$125 Dedicated to donating 100% of profits to animal rescue and adoption.

fetcheyewear.com

November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 35


I

Shandong www.shandongportland.com

36 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012


LAST SUPPER

The Wait Is Over

EAT IT!

Szechuan Chef: Portland’s Best Chinese Restaurant? by Chris Onstad

ELIZA SOHN

CROSSING THE WILLAMETTE at dusk, a mountain of dried red chiles and batons gazing across the deep landscape of train of scallions. It’s charred with bona fide wok yards, skyscrapers, and soaring bridges, hay, and, at first glance, impossible to eat. you’d think this city wanted for nothing. But the chiles are there to perfume and seaWhen I left the Bay Area for Portland a few son the dish more than they are for eating, years ago, I boasted to the miserable dot- though the pods, when deeply browned and blistered, have the crunch and com flotsam and blue-tongued Szechuan Chef nutty flavor of a roasted pumpcommuter drones I’d left be5331 SW Macadam kin seed, and they are delihind about the intimately sized 227-3136 but full-fledged city I’d adopted szechuanchefportland.com cious. The heat of the chicken builds slowly and evenly, creas my own. While they joylessly coded client-side JavaScript accounting ating a slow buzz in your nervous system, software for featureless men in unlit cube more about getting high than getting hurt. Xiao long bao ($7.95 for 10) are available farms, I wandered Sodom West with a hot Cubano and a firkin of marionberry wine. to start, and are a very good—if small—verFrom nights of unclothed beauties to blissful sion of the popular soup dumplings. These afternoons of smoke and barbecue, I thought are nearly bite size, and filled with a light, I had it all. But a worry slowly grew within hot broth, which due to its limited volume me as the years wore on: I had, in fact, left will reset to aspic if not enjoyed quickly. A less-common find are the addicting drysomething behind. Good Chinese food. I have eaten at every bad Chinese res- style Szechuan wontons ($6.95), a bowl of taurant in Portland, or at least I’ve tried. silky, tender, and ragged hand-made dumpFrom the microwaved Kung Pao at Chin lings in an oniony soy and chile oil. A cold Yen to the manure-scented squid and corn- starter of chewy Szechuan noodles with a starch gravies of NE 82nd, I have been on a peanut paste and chile oil sauce ($6.95) is tireless hunt for that glowing, in-from-the- simple and filling. Hot and spicy hand-shaven noodles cold treasure, a temple of steaming broth and glistening dumplings. Wong’s King ($10.95 with meat) showcase fresh noodle and Shandong are good, but they feature dough sliced freehand into strips ranging very little of the king of Chinese cuisines: in size from chow mein to chow fun, and are Szechuan, the fiery, rich, and forceful food more tender than the hand-pulled noodles of Southwestern China. Armed with chiles, at Frank’s. The shrimp, another quick garlic, ginger, and the near-mythic Szech- litmus test, were perfect: a white, pinkieuan pepper, Szechuan chefs add notes of sized tail, tender like a scallop. Yang Zhou heat and numbing to the chords of flavor in fried rice ($8.95), fluffy and steaming, with their dishes, creating food whose pleasure is finely julienned cabbage, chopped shrimp, sweet sausage, and shredded egg, was also enhanced by a flirtation with pain. Szechuan Chef opened in John’s Land- deeply satisfying. Boiled, skin-on peanuts—as well as ing earlier this summer to put an end to my long, dark journey. Live seafood wells carefully chopped and pared vegetables with meaty fish and petulant crab stand in that were more for texture and flavor than the lobby, and four dining rooms on three filler—made the Kung Pao chicken ($9.95) levels are tastefully decorated with sturdy one of the best versions in town, and the marble-like tables, upholstered leather twice-cooked pork ($10.95) was a generous chairs, and wrought-iron railings (photos serving of thickly sliced, sweet, black-beanon their website seem to show the restau- tinged Chinese bacon with leeks and celery. rant’s Bellevue location, and are mislead- The only miss was the cumin lamb ($12.95), ing). While I’ve occasionally gotten the which for all the heat and cumin could probwary “are you sure you want to order that ably just have been beef. Szechuan Chef is, without a doubt, a (we don’t want you sending those intestines back)” treatment when asking for an must-try restaurant for anyone on the hunt unusual dish, the service standard is effi- for the ultimate local Chinese food experience. It closes the chapter on a clichéd Portcient and unobtrusive. The presence of Chong Qing hot chicken land shortcoming, and is now the gold stan($11.95) on the menu showed me all was well dard for those that follow. Let’s hope they start delivering. in the world. This standard Szechuan dish, elsewhere called anything from Chicken Lunch and dinner seven days a week, with 1,000 Chiles to Chicken in Exploding Dynamite Bath, is popcorn-sized, grease- closed from 3-5 pm. Lunch menu 11 am-3 pm, dinner menu all day. less fried chicken tossed in a dry wok with

Now Casting Season 4

THE MASTERCHEF JUDGES ARE ONCE AGAIN GIVING TALENTED HOME COOKS THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW AMERICA THEIR CULINARY SKILLS!

MasterChef is conducting a nationwide search for the best home cooks in America. The winner receives a LARGE cash prize and the title of MASTERCHEF! IF YOU THINK YOU ARE THE NEXT MASTERCHEF ATTEND AN OPEN CASTING CALL!

PORTLAND

November 20, 2012 10am - 6pm Le Cordon Bleu 600 SW 10th Ave #500 • Portland, OR 97205 For application instructions, audition guidelines, eligibility requirements, open call details and additional audition cities GO TO: WWW.MASTERCHEFCASTING.COM

OPEN CALLS WILL ALSO BE HELD IN: San Diego, Nashville, Minneapolis, Chicago, Miami, Cleveland, Los Angeles, Boston, and NYC.

FIND RESTAURANTS, BARS, AND READER REVIEWS AT PORTLANDMERCURY.COM

Comment on this story at portlandmercury.com

November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 37


38 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012


FILM

Experiencing Turbulence The First 20 Minutes of Flight Are Great! by Erik Henriksen SINCE 2004, Robert Zemeckis has been stumbling through the uncanny valley, cranking out soulless, Flight dir. Robert Zemeckis dead-eyed creepshows: The Polar Express, Opens Fri Nov 2 Various Theaters Beowulf, A Christmas Carol. Flight is his return to live action, and its fi rst 20 minutes or so serve as a remarkable reminder of how good Zemeckis can be: This is the guy who made Back to the Future, Romancing the Stone, and Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and Cast Away and Forrest Gump and a few other things too, and he knows his shit. Flight’s opening is dominated by a bone-rattlingly visceral plane crash: The commercial fl ight pilot Whip Whitaker (Denzel Washington) takes off in terrifyingly bad weather, and then, once Whitaker’s pushed through the chop, a mechanical failure sends the plane—and its 102 passengers—hurtling nose-fi rst to the ground. Whitaker’s quick thinking and audacious maneuvers are matched only by Zemeckis’ deft, sadistic control—he seems intent on making everyone who sees Flight never want to fly again. Against all odds, Whitaker lands the

plane, saving 96 of those onboard. His feat is made all the more impressive by the fact that the whole time he was flying, his blood alcohol content was a .24—and that’s not even taking into account all the coke and weed in his system. This is a fantastic beginning to a movie. For a little while, Flight seems like it’s going to be really good! But surprise! Flight isn’t about Whitaker’s feat, nor is it about the chaotic after-

math. No, Flight is about how Whitaker is a shitfaced alcoholic, and as soon as his plane crashes, so does Zemeckis’ movie. A tone-deaf script by John Gatins follows Whitaker as he drinks, drinks, and drinks some more, while all the skill Zemeckis shows in the film’s opening is traded in for lazy cinematic shorthand: melodramatic thunderclaps, a single tear rolling down a trembling cheek, a whole lot of talk about “god’s will.”

Flight is a movie about incredibly unlikeable people, and selfish asshole Whitaker is chief among them. Spending 138 minutes with him is just like spending 138 minutes with an actual drunk: tiresome, obnoxious, repetitive, and phenomenally unpleasant. Not even Don Cheadle (he’s Whitaker’s shady lawyer), John Goodman (he’s technically Whitaker’s dealer, but he’s really just reprising his role as Walter from The Big Lebowski), and a million Rolling Stones songs on the soundtrack can save this thing. Flight is nothing more than a clumsy, preachy, feature-length infomercial for AA—but damn, it sure does open with a hell of a plane crash.

GEEK OUT

GAME ON. AND ON. AND ON. Indie Game: The Movie dirs. Lisanne Pajot, James Swirsky Now available on Netflix Instant, iTunes, Steam, and indiegamethemovie.com

FLIGHT “This my drinkin’ hat!”

Sex Ed

Behold the Healing Powers of Helen Hunt by Alison Hallett

FILM

LET’S GET THIS out of the way: Helen tracted polio as a kid, and the iron lung Hunt is looking good. Through some triumph has seriously hindered his game—so after realizing that other disabled of science or magic, she’s walking The Sessions people still manage to have sex around in the body of an unusually dir. Ben Lewin Opens Fri Nov 2 lives, he contacts Cheryl to figfit 20-year-old. But she’s still got Various Theaters ure out just what kind of expethe face of a Helen Hunt, which is why she’s perfectly cast as a sex surrogate in riences his paralyzed body is capable of The Sessions: She wields her body with the having. Cheryl isn’t a prostitute; she apmatter-of-fact assurance of a mature profes- proaches her job with a therapist’s discipline, guiding 38-year-old Mark through sional practicing her craft. Hunt plays Cheryl, who’s been hired to the fi rst sexual experiences of life. Director Ben Lewin coaxes brilliant indoctrinate paralyzed writer Mark (John Hawkes) in the ways of S-E-X. Mark con- performances out of Hawkes and Hunt

America’s Rusty Heart

Dreamy Detropia: A City Worth Loving by Sarah Mirk

FILM

MAN, WHAT A beautiful fi lm. In Detro- camera lingers on dreamy shots of Depia, directors Heidi Ewing and Rachel troit’s skyline from the upper stories of Grady (the team behind the 2006 scare- a crumbling apartment complex—then jumps into the middle of a you-to-the-bone documenDetropia tary Jesus Camp) have dirs. Heidi Ewing, Rachel Grady chaotic town hall, frenzied Opens Fri Nov 2 with reaction to Mayor made an artsy documenLiving Room Theaters Dave Bing’s desperate plan tary about the once-great to relocate thousands of city of Detroit and the decitizens to save the city some cash. cline of American manufacturing. From that wandering, a sad, powerLoosely following the day-to-day lives of a videoblogger, a bar owner, and ful story emerges: What’s happening an autoworker union president, Detro- in Detroit could be the future of many pia doesn’t stick to a straight winners- American cities, as we continue to outand-losers narrative, instead wandering source manufacturing jobs and slash thoughtfully through the high-stakes public budgets. Plenty of lenses have documented challenges facing the diverse city. The

(which maybe wasn’t hard, considering how good both of them are to begin with). Mark is bright and acerbic, his inner steeliness only revealed when he’s typing out love poems using a stick held between his teeth; Cheryl sheds her professional distance in near-imperceptible increments. The Sessions is bound to be over praised: It does have its weaknesses, notably underdeveloped supporting characters (William H. Macy doesn’t have much to do as a timid liberal priest) and an odd side-plot about Cheryl’s conversion to Judaism. But Hunt and Hawkes are so damn good, and the scenes between the two of them so rich in awkward, funny, premature ejaculate-y tenderness, that the strengths of this odd little true story far outweigh its imperfections.

Detroit’s dissolution in a greedy, pornographic way, but Ewing and Grady use their position behind the camera to elevate the voices of Detroit’s residents. And what they have to say is that they still love their city. Sure, it was nicer and easier to live there when times were flush and the streets were hopping, but the place is far from dead. It would’ve been easy for the directors to collect the images of Detropia—the defaced apartments, the metal scrappers, the neighborhoods without streetlights, the abandoned homes that can’t be bulldozed fast enough—and paint an incendiary, Michael Moore-style portrait of a depressed place betrayed by capitalist politics. Instead, they focus on how Detroit’s artists, business owners, and workers still find a lot to inspire them—and the rest of the country—in the midst of a rusting city.

Comment on these stories at portlandmercury.com

AFTER TWO SUCCESSFUL Kickstarters (directors James Swirsky and Lisanne Pajot asked for $50,000, and their 1,893 backers gave them $94,676) and a featured screening at Portland’s techy/artsy XOXO Fest, Indie Game: The Movie has finally landed on Netflix Instant. If you’re wanting to see something videogame-related this weekend, you’ve got two choices: a big, 3D, marketed-to-hell Disney movie in theaters (Wreck-It Ralph, reviewed on pg. 41), or Indie Game: The Movie. Wreck-It Ralph is great if you (A) are five, or (B) want to catch a bunch of references to the NES days of your childhood. Indie Game, on the other hand, is great if you’re interested in how things are created. And okay, fine, also if you want to catch a few references to the NES days of your childhood. Because while Indie Game: The Movie hits the sweet spot for gamers—it gives some excellent behind-the-scenes info on some of the best and most artful games in recent memory, including Braid, Fez, and Super Meat Boy—it’s about bigger stuff too: The challenges of making art, the greater challenges of making art under deadlines, how paralyzing self-doubt and giddy enthusiasm go hand-in-hand whenever you pour your everything into something that might implode. Indie Game follows Edmund McMillen and Tommy Refenes as they put the finishing touches on their game Super Meat Boy; Phil Fish as he deals with the pressure of getting out his long-delayed, eagerly anticipated Fez; and Braid creator Jonathan Blow as he reflects on the game that gave him instant success, respect, and fame—and plenty of problems. There’s a lot of footage of these various geeks hunched over their keyboards, pushing pixels and scrolling through code, but Indie Game isn’t content to simply document their process: It asks questions about why these guys create, why they create what they do, and what they’ll do if they fail. Regardless of whether you play games, it’s fascinating stuff, sad and funny and stressful and human. And once it’s over, you’re going to want to fire up Braid, or Fez, or Super Meat Boy. Or maybe that old NES you’ve got packed away somewhere. ERIK HENRIKSEN

November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 39


IRRESISTIBLE

-Manohla Dargis, THE NEW YORK TIMES

“DO

NOT MISS BROOKLYN CASTLE.

IMAGINE A SCHOOL WHERE THE COOL KIDS ARE THE CHESS TEAM... WELCOME TO I.S. 318

ND ORTLA P L A GIN Y STYLE I R O ENCH FR

AR ND B A T RAN

ER

I

AU EST • 503.226.1258 R E A

1 NW

6TH

US AVE

5PM-1:30AM RI/ S AT T• F IGH COCKTAILS N ID ING RV

MON -T H

UR 5P NOW M-M SE

101 1

AC REˆ P

THE MOST OPTIMISTIC, INSPIRING AND DOWNRIGHT THRILLING MOVIE RELEASED ALL YEAR.”

.lehappy.com www

-Andrew O’Hehir, SALON

“WONDERFUL!”

It just won’t stop.

-Kenneth Turan, LA TIMES

 “

-Joe Neumaier, NY DAILY NEWS

STARTS FRI. NOV. 2

REGAL ENTERTAINMENT

FOX TOWER STADIUM 10

846 SW PARK AVE., PORTLAND • 503-221-3280 • WWW.REGMOVIES.COM

PORTLAND MERCURY — 4.75” x 5.25”

H

“HHHhe ye ar’s

”. s m t l i f f O g One captivatin cting a f O d n i mOst r.” Oes the k

s d invented fO e k w a h “jOhn ards were d sOul n a that aw y d O b nything a r e n h a s h e t r r a hunt b fOrmance be t te n e l e h . + “a per g n i v O m in a s dOne befOre.” she ha

things from another world and the portland mercury present:

epeR

Rd Ro

Richa

ee ® NomiN wArd emy A AcAd

es HAwk joHN er iN w N wArd emy A t AcAd N Hu HeleN d NomiNee Ar w A y y em AcAd . mAc iAm H l l i w Nd ®

®

A

B

He oN t d e s A

iNc

red

tru iBle

r e s to

y

vie.com ionsmo thesessX S E A R C H L IG H T FO

PORTLAND_SES_1028

THE CORTANDFATBOY MIDNIGHT MOVIE: Back to the Future NOVEMBER 2nd • doors at 10pm, film at 11pm • $3 admission, 21 & over

eXclusive engagement starts friday, nOvember 2 40 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012

PORTLAND Regal Fox Tower Stadium 10 (800) FANDANGO #327

BAGDAD THEATER • 3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd, Portland OR art by thethomaswilson.com


Of Hitchcock and Nintendo Succinct Reviews for the Discerning Cinephile The Master of Suspense: The First Annual Hitchcock Festival dir. Alfred Hitchcock Fri Nov 2-Wed Nov 7 Cinema 21

I KNOW A GUY who claims he doesn’t like Alfred Hitchcock movies. That guy’s a liar. Everyone likes Alfred Hitchcock movies. It’s like pretending you don’t like the Beatles. It doesn’t make you seem smart to reject the good stuff just because everyone knows it’s good. Don’t believe me? Cinema 21’s Master of Suspense film festival boasts 10 Hitchcock fi lms that provide unassailable evidence of Hitchcock’s skills. Spanning from his 1935 breakthrough The 39 Steps to the twisted 1964 romance Marnie, there’s a Hitchcock movie for just about

FILM

man autobiographical show that White has performed around the country, we’re given his story in typical rise-and-fall fashion, but instead of the heavy substance-abuse dramas of celebrity biographies, here there’s a stable marriage and supportive family. Perhaps it’s this network that allowed White to reinvent himself by embellishing thrift store paintings with pithy, F-word-laden phrases and becoming a star again, this time in the “legitimate” art world. Affable and earnest, Beauty succeeds in its aim to be a source of advice and reassurance to creative professionals— with the added bonus of a peek behind the original Pee-wee’s roots as a sketchy, coked out warehouse project in Warholera Manhattan. MARJORIE SKINNER

DETROPIA F R O M T H E D I R E C T O R S O F T H E A C A D E M Y A W A R D® N O M I N A T E D “J E S U S C A M P”

“Beautiful and quietly devastating.” –New York Magazine

BEGINS FRIDAY

LIVING ROOM THEATERS 341 SW 10TH AVE (AT STARK)

WRECK-IT RALPH Q*bert could use a q*uarter.

every taste. North by Northwest is pure action, Psycho delivers the creep factor, and there’s even a costume drama: Rebecca marked the director’s move to the United States in 1940, and it represents a rare departure into gothic horror. Those three movies, along with the visually daring Vertigo and near-perfect Rear Window, particularly demand to be seen on the big screen. As studios continue their drift into digital, there will be fewer and fewer opportunities to catch classics like these on 35mm—in other words, you’ll be seeing essential building blocks of cinema in the way they were originally presented. Don’t even pretend that doesn’t sound cool. JAMIE S. RICH

Beauty Is Embarrassing dir. Neil Berkeley Fri Nov 2-Mon Nov 5 (Wayne White in attendance on Fri Nov 2) Northwest Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium

WAYNE WHITE has two words for F. Scott Fitzgerald’s contention that “There are no second acts in American lives”: Fuck you. As any child of the ’80s can recall, Pee-wee’s Playhouse blew tiny minds and furrowed parental brows when it exploded onto children’s TV screens. It was psychedelic-level bizarre, creepily annoying, and it was where White got his fi rst big break. A few years down the line, the same kids were watching White’s art direction in the video for Smashing Pumpkins’ “Tonight, Tonight.” And then things started to peter out. In Beauty is Embarrassing, a documentary that frames itself around a one-

Wreck-It Ralph dir. Rich Moore Opens Fri Nov 2 Various Theaters

Q*BERT, HIS GAME long since unplugged, is a gibberish-spouting panhandler. When he’s done racking up combos in Street Fighter, Zangief finds solace at BadAnon, where videogame villains share their vulnerabilities. For those of us raised in the Mario Age, the first few minutes of WreckIt Ralph are like a videogame Who Framed Roger Rabbit, with everyone from Sonic to Bowser stopping by. But once its nostalgic, clever opening is out of the way, Wreck-It Ralph gets significantly less fun: It’s just Toy Story in an arcade. Bad-Anon attendee Ralph (voiced by John C. Reilly) decides he wants to be loved—so, looking for glory, he leaves his own game, Fix-It Felix Jr., first venturing into a Halo-esque shooter before finding himself in a Mario Kart-inspired Sugar Rush, where he meets adorable/obnoxious kid racer Vanellope von Schweetz (Sarah Silverman). In addition to Silverman’s fantastic voice work, there’s a ton of great detail in Wreck-It Ralph—pixel-based architecture, jerky animation that emulates old Nintendo games, a vault password that’s “up up down down left right left right B A start.” But everything else is boring and bland: Characters are set on a simple trajectory, then perfunctorily march toward their destinies. Had Wreck-It Ralph been a videogame— where you could make Ralph do something interesting, or actually play Sugar Rush and Fix-It Felix Jr.? That would’ve been something. ERIK HENRIKSEN November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 41


taci

eve

-James “BoBo” Faye, host oF animal Planet’s “Finding BigFoot”

-Jeffrey Lyons/LYONS DEN RADIO

FILM SHORTS THE MAN WITH THE IRON FISTS

BIGF O OT IS HI DI NG. . . BUT NOT F ROM U S .

www.Least AmongSaints.com

STARTS FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 2

xlratormedia.com

starts frIday, nOvemBer 2

LaureLhurst theatre 2735 E Burnside St, Portland (503) 232-5511

LIVING ROOM THEATERS 341 SW Tenth Avenue, Portland (971) 222-2010 ®

2.25" x 4" THUR 11/1 PORTLAND MERCURY DUE MON @ 6PM

2.25" X 4" THUR 11/01 PORTLAND MERCURY DUE MON 6PM

INVITE YOU AND A GUEST TO A SPECIAL ADVANCE Artist: (circle one:) SCREENING Aurelio OF Heather Staci

Freelance 2

Emmett

Steve Philip (circle one:) AE:Jay Angela Maria Josh Freelance 2 Confirmation #:

MONDAY, NOVEMbER 5 Tim McCool Philip 7:00 PM ~ TIGARD For your chance to win a mobile

AE: (circle one:) Angela Maria Josh Tim

McCool

ART APPROVED AE APPROVED CLIENT APPROVED

Deadline:

pass good for two admissions, text “PRESIDENT” and your zip code to 43549 (Ex. PRESIDENT 98119) Must enter by 12 p.m. on Friday, November 2! This film is RaTed PG-13 foR an inTense scene of waR violence, some imaGes of caRnaGe and bRief sTRonG lanGuaGe no Phone calls Please. No purchase necessary. Must be 13+ to enter. Texting services provided by 43KIX and are free. Standard text message rates from your wireless provider may apply. Check your plan. One entry per cell phone #. Late and/or duplicate entries will not be considered. 25 (Twenty Five) winners will be chosen at random on or about 3pm on Friday, November 2, 2012 and will receive a text good for two admissions. Limit one admit-two pass per person. THEATRE IS OVERBOOKED TO ENSURE A FULL HOUSE. A winning text does NOT guarantee a seat. Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis. Void where prohibited by law.

OPENS IN LIMITED RELEASE NOVEMBER 9 | NATIONWIDE NOVEMBER 16

TheLincolnMovie.com • Facebook.com/LincolnMovie • Twitter.com/LincolnMovie

PORTLAND MERCURY WED: 10/31 BW 4.75” x 4.375” ALL.LIN-P.1031.PM

SS

★ 2012 ELECTION So. This should be fun. Bagdad Theater, Laurelhurst Theater, Mission Theater, St. Johns Theater and Pub. ★ B-MOVIE BINGO The Hollywood’s series features B-movies, with the audience marking down clichés on a custom-made bingo card. This time around: SFX Retaliator, starring Chris “Son of Robert” Mitchum and Linda Blair. Hollywood Theatre. ★ BACK TO THE FUTURE “No McFly ever amounted to anything in the history of Hill Valley!” Presented by podcasters Cort and Fatboy. And the Mercury! Bagdad Theater. ★ BEAUTY IS EMBARRASSING See review this issue. Northwest Film Center’s APPROVED WhitsellART Auditorium .

AE THE APPROVED BIGFOOT: LOST COAST TAPES

LikeCLIENT Harry andAPPROVED the Hendersons, except scary! Review forthcoming at portlandmercury.com. Laurelhurst Theater.

Deadline:

©2012 DREAMWORKS II DISTRIBUTION CO., LLC

cle one:)

“A VERY TOUCHING, true-to-life drama with COMPELLING performances.”

“One of the best movies about Bigfoot that I have ever seen.”

BROOKLYN CASTLE A documentary about a middle school’s chess team... that wasn’t screened for critics? Goddammit. This sounds awesome, at least. Fox Tower 10.

★ CELL COUNT Cell Count has a few patchy bits—all you haters will be grumbling about the ending—but it’s nicely shot, staged, acted (it features local favorites John Breen and Sean McGrath), and the practical effects are great. With little money and a lot of atmosphere, Cell Count stages its body horror in a sterile, fluorescent-soaked medical clinic where sufferers of a mysterious disease are given experimental treatments, “the Cure.” But the six patients (and two inmates) soon discover the cure is worse than the disease. With echoes of your favorite John Carpenter and Ridley Scott joints, Cell Count’s got enough viscera and production values to make it a bloody winner. COURTNEY FERGUSON Living Room Theaters.

CLOUD ATLAS

David Mitchell’s 2004 novel Cloud Atlas has long been considered unfilmable, and make no mistake: It still is. The new movie by the Wachowskis and Tom Tykwer is very much an adaptation, borrowing the basic outline of Mitchell’s book to create something entirely its own. The film juggles six characters with six distinct storylines, set in time periods ranging from the 1830s to a distant, postapocalyptic future. Given the audacity of its undertaking, Cloud Atlas is remarkably cohesive. Some storylines resonate more than others, but they’re all efficiently told. But for all the energy and flair this adaptation possesses, it’s so focused on pulling off the logistics of adapting Mitchell’s novel that there isn’t room for much depth. ALISON HALLETT Various Theaters.

The sound effects were great and largely practical: boots and knives and coconuts for the horses. I asked one cast member why they had a cabbage, and she told me it was for “when the bear-things get their arms ripped off,” which is totally a thing that happens. BEN COLEMAN Hollywood Theatre.

FLIGHT

See review this issue. Various Theaters.

GETTING TO KNOW YOUTUBE Local presenters help you to “climb into YouTube’s deepest caverns of collective consciousness and unearth hidden treasures, stretching the boundaries of what tubes and you were meant for.” Okay! Hollywood Theatre.

GREY GARDENS Albert and David Maysles 1975 doc. Screens in honor of Edith Bouvier Beale’s birthday, “complete with cake and hors d’oeuvres.” Costumes are encouraged. Clinton Street Theater.

★ THE HOUSE I LIVE IN Despite the Drug War’s $1 trillion in spending, abuse and addiction rates remain largely unchanged. Meanwhile, the nation-wrecking fallout is everywhere—in hollowed-out African American neighborhoods, in education budgets starved to fund our addiction to a vengeful jurisprudence, and in stuffed, for-profit prisons whose owners reliably buy elected officials committed to the status quo. No, this isn’t a new story. But it’s not bullshit to say it’s never been told better, or more effectively, than in Eugene Jarecki’s damning documentary. DENIS C. THERIAULT Fox Tower 10. ★ HOW’S YOUR NEWS: ELECTION 2012 Portland-based How’s Your News? creator Arthur Bradford has revived his interview-based series featuring on-the-street reporters with various cognitive disabilities to tackle this year’s Republican and Democratic national conventions. With Election 2012, fans are reunited with star reporters Sue, Jeremy, and Robert, who tackle huge political stars with the same genuine lack of pretense they’ve always brought to what is a consistently unexpected, hilarious, and revealing journalistic exercise. Simultaneously in the midst and outside of of the media circus, Election’s best moments occur before interviews, as various personalities either brush them off or instantly engage, revealing rarely seen sides of their characters. (Rudy Giuliani, Diane Sawyer, and Jared Leto come off okay, Anne Coulter not so much, and Stephen Baldwin takes the crown for biggest bully/douche.) Thus far, the film’s been circulating online, but we get the hometown advantage with a benefit screening featuring cocktails and a Q&A. MARJORIE SKINNER Someday Lounge.

JEANNE DIELMAN, 23 QUAI DU COMMERCE, 1080 BRUXELLES Chantal Akerman’s 1975, three-hour-long film follows Jeanne Dielman (Delphine Seyrig) through three days of her life. Northwest Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium.

★ DETROPIA See review this issue. Living Room Theaters.

★ THE KILLER John Woo’s jaw-dropping 1989 action classic starring Chow Yun-fat? Yes. Clinton Street Theater.

ELENA

THE MAN WITH THE IRON FISTS

Andrey Zvyagintsev’s 2011 noir set in Russia. Fifth Avenue Cinema.

★ FILMUSIK: TURKISH STAR WARS Some movies are so bad they’re good. And some movies are so bad they pass through being good and go back to being bad. The Man Who Saves the World (colloquially known as Turkish Star Wars) rolls over that particular odometer so many times it’s hard to say where it ends up. Filmusik has done an admirable job then, in transmogrifying this Anatolian fever dream into an enjoyable 90 minutes of augmented cinema. Filmusik’s shtick is to run the film silently and recreate the audio live: They pretty much fill the Hollywood Theatre stage with actors, an orchestra, and things to punch, and while the setup sounds clunky, it works. At a recent preview screening, voice acting was just good enough and just bad enough that I forgot it wasn’t coming from the film.

A kung fu flick directed by RZA and starring EVERYONE— even Russell Crowe! Not screened for critics, because there is no god. Various Theaters.

★ THE MASTER OF SUSPENSE: THE FIRST ANNUAL HITCHCOCK FESTIVAL See Film, pg. 41. Cinema 21.

THE SESSIONS

See review this issue. Fox Tower 10.

★ THE SHORT FILMS OF JIM BLASHFIELD “Eclectic animated and live-action experimental films” from of Portland filmmaker Jim Blashfield. Director in attendance. Northwest Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium.

WRECK-IT RALPH

See review this issue. Various Theaters.

★ MEANS WE RECOMMEND IT. THEATER LOCATIONS ARE ACCURATE FRIDAY NOVEMBER 2-THURSDAY NOVEMBER 8, UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED. FILM TIMES AND SHORTS ARE ALSO AVAILABLE AT PORTLANDMERCURY.COM.

42 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012


PORTLANDMERCURY.COM

Downtown Fifth Avenue Cinema 510 SW Hall, 725-3551

Elena Fri-Sat 7, 9:30; Sun 3

Fox Tower 10

846 SW Park, 800-326-3264

Brooklyn Castle Fri-Sat 12, 2:20, 4:35, 7:20, 9:35; Sun 1, 3:20, 5:35, 8:20, 10:35; Mon-Thurs 12, 2:20, 4:35, 7:20, 9:35 Cloud Atlas Fri-Sat 12:30, 4:15, 7:45; Sun 1:30, 5:15, 8:45; Mon-Thurs 12:30, 4:15, 7:45 Diana Vreeland: The Eye Has to Travel Fri-Sat 12:20, 5:05, 9:50; Sun 1:20, 6:05, 10:50; Mon-Thurs 12:20, 5:05, 9:50 The House I Live In Fri-Sat 12:15, 2:50, 5:10, 7:30; Sun 1:15, 3:50, 6:10, 8:30; Mon-Thurs 12:15, 2:50, 5:10, 7:30 Looper Fri-Sat 12:50, 4:25, 7:10, 9:40; Sun 1:50, 5:25, 8:10, 10:40; Mon-Thurs 12:50, 4:25, 7:10, 9:40 The Master Fri-Sat 12:40, 4:10, 7:05, 9:35; Sun 1:40, 5:10, 8:05, 10:35; Mon-Thurs 12:40, 4:10, 7:05, 9:35 Paranormal Activity 4 Fri-Sat 9:50; Sun 10:50; MonThurs 9:50 The Perks of Being a Wallflower Fri-Sat 12:05, 2:30, 4:45, 7:15, 9:30; Sun 1:05, 3:30, 5:45, 8:15, 10:30; MonThurs 12:05, 2:30, 4:45, 7:15, 9:30 Samsara Fri-Sat 2:45, 7:25; Sun 3:45, 8:25; Mon-Thurs 2:45, 7:25 The Sessions Fri-Sat 12:10, 12:45, 2:25, 2:55, 4:40, 5:15, 7, 7:40, 9:05, 9:45; Sun 1:10, 1:45, 3:25, 3:55, 5:40, 6:15, 8, 8:40, 10:05, 10:45; Mon-Thurs 12:10, 12:45, 2:25, 2:55, 4:40, 5:15, 7, 7:40, 9:05, 9:45 Seven Psychopaths Fri-Sat 12, 2:35, 5, 7:35, 9:55; Sun 1, 3:35, 6, 8:35, 10:55; Mon-Thurs 12, 2:35, 5, 7:35, 9:55

Northwest Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium 1219 SW Park, 221-1156

Beauty Is Embarrassing Fri 7:30; Sat 7, 9; Sun 4:45, 7; Mon 7:30 (Wayne White in attendance)

Jeanne Dielman, 23 Quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles Tues 7 The Short Films of Jim Blashfield Thurs 7 (director in attendance)

Wed-Thurs 8:50

Moonrise Kingdom Fri-Sun 4:30, 7:20; Mon 7:20; WedThurs 7:20

ParaNorman Sat-Sun 2 Robot & Frank Fri 4:45, 7:30; Sat-Sun 2:15, 4:45, 7:30; Mon-Thurs 7:30

Safety Not Guaranteed Fri-Mon 9:30; Wed-Thurs 9:30 Searching for Sugar Man Fri 6:50; Sat-Sun 1:30, 6:50; Mon 6:50; Wed-Thurs 6:50

Lloyd Center 10 Cinema 1510 NE Multnomah, 800-326-3264

Argo Fri-Sat 12:45, 3:40, 6:50, 9:45; Sun 1:45, 4:40, 7:50, 10:45; Mon-Thurs 12:45, 3:40, 6:50, 9:45

Cloud Atlas Fri-Sat 11:55 am, 3:45, 8; Sun 12:55, 4:45, 9; Mon-Thurs 11:55 am, 3:45, 8

Flight Fri-Sat 12:10, 3:25, 6:40, 9:55; Sun 1:10, 4:25, 7:40, 10:55; Mon-Tues 12:10, 12:40, 3:25, 3:55, 6:40, 7:15, 9:55, 10:30; Wed 12:10, 12:40, 3:25, 3:55, 7:15, 10:30; Thurs 12:10, 12:40, 3:25, 3:55, 6:40, 7:15, 9:55, 10:30 Looper Fri-Sat 1, 4:20, 7:20, 10:10; Sun 2, 5:20, 8:20, 11:10; Mon-Wed 1, 4:20, 7:20, 10:10; Thurs 1, 4:20, 7:25, 10:20 The Man With the Iron Fists Fri-Sat 11:55 am, 2:30, 5, 7:35, 10:05; Sun 12:55, 3:30, 6, 8:35, 11:05; Mon-Thurs 12, 2:30, 5, 7:30, 10:05 Paranormal Activity 4 Fri-Sat 12:25, 2:50, 5:15, 7:35, 10; Sun 1:25, 3:50, 6:15, 8:35, 11; Mon-Tues 12:25, 2:50, 5:15, 7:35, 10; Wed 12:30, 3:30, 6:40, 9 Silent Hill: Revelation Fri-Sat 11:50 am, 4:40; Sun 12:50, 5:40; Mon-Wed 11:50 am, 4:40; Thurs 11:50 am, 4:35 Silent Hill: Revelation 3D Fri-Sat 2:15, 7:05, 9:30; Sun 3:15, 8:05, 10:30; Mon-Wed 2:15, 7:05, 9:30; Thurs 2:10, 7, 9:30 Skyfall IMAX Wed 11:59 pm; Thurs 12:30, 3:50, 7:10, 10:30 Taken 2 Fri-Sat 12:15, 2:45, 5:20, 7:50, 10:15; Sun 1:15, 3:45, 6:20, 8:50, 11:15; Mon-Tues 12:15, 2:45, 5:20, 7:50, 10:15; Wed 12:15, 2:45, 10:15; Thurs 12:15, 2:45, 5:20, 7:50, 10:15 Wreck-It Ralph Fri-Sat 11:45 am, 5:05, 10:25; Sun 12:45, 6:05, 11:25; Mon-Thurs 11:45 am, 5:05, 10:25 Wreck-It Ralph 3D Fri-Sat 2:25, 7:45; Sun 3:25, 8:45; Mon-Thurs 2:25, 7:45

Southeast Academy Theater

Voices in Action: Human Rights on Film Wed 7

7818 SE Stark, 252-0500

Someday Lounge

The Bourne Legacy Fri-Thurs 2:15, 7, 9:40 Brave Fri 2:05, 4:10; Sat-Sun 12, 2:05, 4:10; Mon-Thurs

125 NW 5th, 248-1030

How’s Your News: Election 2012 Fri 6

Northwest Cinema 21

616 NW 21st, 223-4515

The Master of Suspense: The First Annual Hitchcock Festival See cinema21.com for showtimes.

Mission Theater

1624 NW Glisan, 223-4527

2012 Election Tues 4 The Bourne Legacy Thurs 7:30 A Lonely Place for Dying Sat 8, 10:15 Moonrise Kingdom Sat 2:30, 5:30; Thurs 5:30, 10

Northeast Hollywood Theatre 4122 NE Sandy, 281-4215

B-Movie Bingo Tues 7:30 Beasts of the Southern Wild Fri 9:10; Sat 3:15, 9:10; Sun 5, 9:10; Mon-Thurs 9:10

Filmusik: Turkish Star Wars Fri 7; Sat 7 (with dueling English and Spanish voiceovers) Getting to Know YouTube Mon 7:30 I Heart Monster Movies Wed 7:30 The Master Fri 6:45, 9:20; Sat-Sun 3:30, 6:45, 9:20; Mon-Thurs 6:45, 9:20 Samsara Fri 7:10; Sat 3, 5, 7:10; Sun 3, 7:10, 9:30; Mon-Thurs 7:10 The Walking Dead Sun 7

Portland’s Historic non-Profit tHeatre

2:05, 4:10

The Campaign Fri 9:55; Sat-Sun 11:50, 9:55; Mon-Thurs 9:55 The Dark Knight Rises Fri 6:15, 9:25; Sat 9:25; SunThurs 6:15, 9:25

Hope Springs Fri-Thurs 1:40, 5:50 Moonrise Kingdom Fri-Sat 3:45, 7:55; Sun 3:45; MonThurs 3:45, 7:55 ParaNorman Fri 5; Sat-Sun 12:15, 5; Mon-Thurs 5 The Walking Dead Sun 9

Bagdad Theater

3702 SE Hawthorne, 225-5555

2012 Election Tues 4 Back to the Future Fri 11 pm The Campaign Sat 7:30, 9:45; Wed 8:20 Legend of Aahhhs Thurs 7 ParaNorman Fri 5:15; Sat 2, 5:15; Sun 2; Wed 6 The Walking Dead Sat 9

Cinemagic

2021 SE Hawthorne, 231-7919

Argo Fri 5:30, 8; Sat-Sun 3, 5:30, 8; Mon-Thurs 5:30, 8

Clinton Street Theater

4122 NE SaNdy BoulEvard

EVENT HOTLINE: (503) 493-1128

now servInG Beer & wIne. All AGes stIll AdmItted!

FILMUSIK PrESENTS

TURKISH

STAR WARS NovEMBEr 1-3 · 7:00 pm

2522 SE Clinton, 238-8899

Bones Brigade: An Autobiography Fri 7 Fool’s Gold Thurs 8 Grey Gardens Wed 7, 9 K2uesday Tues 7 The Killer Sat 6:45, 9; Sun 6:45 Repo! The Genetic Opera Fri 11:30 pm Rocky Horror Picture Show Sat 11:30 pm The Walking Dead Sun 9

B-MoviE BiNGo:

SFX

RetaliatoR

Kennedy School

TuESday NovEMBEr 6 · 7:30pm

5736 NE 33rd, 249-7474

The Bourne Legacy Fri-Sat 7:45; Mon-Thurs 7:45 Brave Sat-Mon 3 The Campaign Fri-Sat 10:30; Tues-Thurs 2:30 A Lonely Place for Dying Sun 8, 10:15 The Odd Life of Timothy Green Fri-Thurs 5:30 ParaNorman Sat-Sun 2:30

enter taining Por tl and since 1926

TIN HOUSE PrESENTS ARTHUR MILLER’S

MOVIE TIMES ARE UPDATED DAILY AT

2012 Election Tues 5, (free) Bigfoot: The Lost Coast Tapes Fri-Thurs 9:40 Brave Sat-Sun 1:45 The Campaign Fri-Sun 4:15, 7, 9; Mon-Thurs 7, 9 The Dark Knight Rises Fri-Sun 3:30, 8:50; Mon 8:50;

WiTh adaM BravE BooK SiGNiNG! sUndAY AUGUst 19 · 2:00pm

LISTINGS ARE GOOD FRIDAY- THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 2-8 UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED.

2735 E Burnside, 232-5511

THE MISFITS

MOVIE TIMES

Laurelhurst Theater

See the Mercury movie section for showtimes, and visit our NEW website

w w w .H o l l y

w o o d T H e a T r e . org November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 43


SAVAGE LOVE

Salty Balls by Dan Savage So I was innocently browsing the personal ads on Craigslist and saw one from a dude who was looking to try “saline balls” for the first time. Having no idea what this was, I Googled it. Even worse, I Google-imaged it. I pride myself on being unshockable, but I was completely and utterly mortifi ed at what I saw. With that said, my copious internet searching failed to yield the answers to the basic/most important questions regarding saline balls: (1) What is the procedure/process for salining one’s balls? (2) What about it turns on the saliner/salinee? (3) How long does the effect last? (4) Can it be (god forbid) irreversible? Completely Utterly Mortifi ed “The technical name for what CUM is asking about is ‘scrotal infl ation,’” says Dart, a leatherman, BDSM/kink educator, and host of the Dart’s Domain podcast. “It’s a type of body-modification play where the scrotum is infused with approximately 500 milliliters to one liter of saline solution via an IV/cannula drip, which results in the balls appearing to have enlarged to the size of a pair of grapefruits.” Saline, of course, is simply salt water, and sterile saline solutions are administered intravenously to dehydrated patients so that they don’t, you know, die. But some people—like the guys your Craigslist friend was seeking out—engage in recreational saline play. But they’re not putting saline in their balls, CUM, they’re putting saline in their ball sacks. “The skin of the sack has a great deal of elasticity and can safely stretch to this large size without incurring damage,” says Dart. Balls, of course, are not noted for their elasticity, and they can burst. “While this is a more extreme form of kink play, if done under sterile conditions with hospital-grade materials, it can be accomplished with a minimal risk,” says Dart. “No one should experiment with scrotal inflation without some experienced guidance, and no one should do it alone. Some of the risks that can happen include local infection and cellulitis, which can occur from a lack of sterility. There can also be dangerous problems if any air is present in the tubing of the IV during the infusion. But again, if proper precautions are taken, these risks can be avoided.” The inflation process takes about an hour, the effect lasts for a day or two, and the sack gradually returns to normal size as the saline is absorbed into the body. So the process is always reversible—so long as you’re infl ating your sack with saline and not, say, silicone, spackle, or packing peanuts. Your sack may be a little looser afterward, but you’re not going to be stuck with a giant sack forever. As for why this is a turn-on, well, turn-ons are highly subjective. “The turn-on answer varies from person to person,” says Dart. “For some, there is a certain rush from temporarily modifying a part of their body to a ‘monstrous’ size. Others have ‘medical play’ fantasies. In a power exchange setting between a dominant and a submissive, the dom may get off on ‘altering’ a part of the sub’s body against the sub’s will, while the sub may get turned on by the humiliation aspect. It’s a wide spectrum. As I say, it’s not for everyone. But many, including myself, have engaged in it safely and had a pretty fun time doing it.” Anyone who wants to see a pair of grapefruit-sized “saline balls” in action should go here: tinyurl.com/salineballs. Anyone who wants to fi nd Dart’s blog, podcast, and videos should go here: dartsdomain.com. You once pointed out that you only heard from readers when their attempts to be GGG backfired. If something went wrong, you got a letter. But when an effort to be GGG didn’t cause

44 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012

a problem, no one wrote you. And this was leading other readers to conclude that being GGG is always a risky mistake. So I thought I’d write to tell you that nothing went wrong after I was GGG for my girlfriend (we had sex in a series of semipublic places) and she was GGG for me (she arranged a small CFNM party at which I was the NM). We are being GGG and all is well with us, Dan, and we wanted to thank you for giving us the tools that we needed to talk about this stuff! Clamoring About My Experiences Thanks for sharing, CAME. I have a problem with a guy I like and his porn habits. I know you’ve answered a lot of questions about porn, but I don’t think you’ve answered one like mine. The problem is I used to be his porn. I work part-time as a cam girl. He was one of my regular customers. I came to like him as a human being, and he seemed to feel the same about me. This last summer, we actually got a chance to meet in person. It was fucking amazing! Since then, we’ve continued playing online, although for free now, because it feels unethical to charge someone who I really like. We’ve also tossed around the idea of another visit. So here’s the problem: He’s still paying other cam girls, and it makes me upset. I don’t mind that he looks at porn, Dan. JOE NEWTON I don’t even mind that he pays for live interactive porn. There are plenty of times when he’s horny but I’m asleep (we live in different time zones) or I’m at my other job, and I don’t care what he does then. The thing is, I feel I should be the one he plays with when we’re both awake and online at the same time. But just as often, when we are both awake and online, he’s busy with other cam girls. It makes me feel ignored and neglected. Am I overreacting? Should I ask to be prioritized over porn? And how can I bring up this subject? I don’t want to tell him that he can’t jerk off or insist that I have to be at the center of everything he thinks about sexually, but feeling constantly sidelined isn’t okay either. And frankly, it makes me feel like a chump for not charging him anymore. Clever Acronym Missing Monitoring this guy’s porn habits seems like a waste of time and emotional energy, CAM, considering that he’s not your boyfriend, you’ve only met in person on one occasion, you don’t live in the same time zone, and a second meeting is just an idea that’s being “tossed around.” You’re not in a relationship with him and, really, would you wanna be? I’m pro-porn and I’m pro-porn-cam girls, but a guy who invests the amount of time, money, and emotional energy in porn that Mr. Not Your Boyfriend does, well, he hardly seems like decent relationship material. But you’ve got nothing to lose—literally nothing—so go ahead and ask him to prioritize you over porn, and to prioritize the free porn you’re offering him over the porn he’s still paying for, and see what he says. If you don’t like what you hear, CAM, if he makes it clear that he doesn’t feel about you the same way that you feel about him, then you should defi nitely start charging him again. CONFIDENTIAL TO READERS IN THE UNITED STATES: Please vote on November 6—or before November 6—for Barack Obama. And if you’re in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, or Washington State, please vote for marriage equality! Find the Savage Lovecast at thestranger.com/savage. mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter

Comment on this story at portlandmercury.com


I♥TELEVISION

Party Like It’s 2008!

by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey GUYS! THIS COMING Tuesday, November 6, is election night (watch it on all major networks, 4 pm)… AND WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT A FEW THINGS. Thing One: A significant number of you have already informed me you will NOT be having sex with me that night. This is a problem. On election night in 2008, many of you were so ecstatic about Barack Obama becoming president, you formed a long, but orderly line to have sex with me. But now that we’re four years in, and President Obama hasn’t exactly turned out to be as awesome as many of you had hoped, you’re no longer squealing about the prospect of another Obama term, and both your enthusiasm and horniness are muted. However… PRESIDENT OBAMA IS NOT MY FAULT. Hey, I did MY job over the last four years… pleasuring each and every one of you to the best of my epic abilities. I upheld my end of the bargain! So even if the president isn’t a magical unicorn genie who shoots sparkly rainbows and Skittles out of his bottom, I am STILL Wm.™ Steven Humphrey—and I STILL love you, long, LONG time. Thank you, and please form a long, orderly line to the left. Thing Two: Election night can be nerve-wracking, and not everyone can have access to my genitals. Let’s say you’re an Obama supporter. On election night, you’ll probably be biting your toenails and squealing, “Omigod, if Romney gets elected, he’s going to remove my ovaries and sell them to China. Then he’s going to take that money, and put it in an offshore bank that invests in ovary-removing equipment.” And if you’re a Romney supporter, you’ll be equally nervous, squeaking, “Oh butter my bee-hind and call me a biscuit—if that there Obama bin Laden feller from Kenya gits e-lected again, his Obamacare is gonna make me marry my pig. And ah’d rather keep our relationship loose for the time bein.” Well, if things get too nerve-wracking

Happy Hour Specials Everyday Free Pool on Sundays •  92'' t.v • Total Sports Package JEREMY EATON

for you, try the following calming exercises: (1) Bury yourself under six feet of loose dirt. You’ll be amazed how quickly you forget about the election! (2) Roofie yourself. Roofies aren’t just for “those people” anymore. Take one roofie, and then when you wake up, take another. Keep taking them until 2016—at which point there will be another election, and you can repeat the process. Thing three: No matter who wins, YOU win. While you may threaten to move to Canada, the people being bombed by their government in Syria don’t really have that option. Soooo… at least you’re not being bombed in your sleep, amirite? Or, think about it this way: If the person you wanted didn’t win, you have at least four years of crying foul, thinking up insulting bumper stickers, nitpicking every decision, and saying, “See? SEE? SEE?” whenever their guy does the slightest thing wrong. IT’S FUN. Because if there’s one thing that Americans love more than winning, it’s complaining about not winning. And if there’s another thing that Americans love more than winning, it’s having postelectoral sex with me. Again, the line forms to the left.

Serving $2 breakfast from 7am-2pm & 10pm - 2am Kitchen hours (7am-2am) • Bar hours (7am-2:30am)

This Week on Television THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 1

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 5

8:00 NBC 30 ROCK For reasons no one can fathom, Jenna is the voter who will decide the presidential election. NOT GOOD. 11:30 SHO REALITY SHOW Debut! A dark comedy about show biz, in which a disgraced producer helms a reality show about an unwitting family.

9:00 BRAVO THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS Season premiere! Adrienne is PISSED when Lisa commits some insignificant infraction that would never bother any sane person. 9:00 HBO WITNESS Debut! A new documentary series about photojournalists working in the most dangerous hellholes in the world!

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 2 8:30 ABC MALIBU COUNTRY Debut! A hillbilly country star moves to California to jump-start her career. Most likely terrible.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 3 11:30 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE Tonight’s host: Louis C.K.! (So expect the funniest and most depressing show of the season.)

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 4 8:00 NGC SEAL TEAM SIX: THE RAID ON OSAMA BIN LADEN A documentary/reenactment of how SEAL Team Six tracked down and killed bin Laden. (Just in time for the election!) 9:00 AMC THE WALKING DEAD The group gets separated. (“Table for four? Reservation for… ‘Zombie’?”)

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 6 4:00 ALL NETS ELECTION NIGHT COVERAGE Take a Xanax, drink a tumbler of vodka—it’ll all be over soon. 8:00 TVLAND THE COSBY SHOW For those who don’t believe a Xanax and vodka cocktail will do the trick.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 7 10:00 FX AMERICAN HORROR STORY A patient exposes creepy Doc Arden (who has the worst porn collection ever, BTW). 11:00 BRAVO LOLWORK Debut! A new reality show about an internet company that makes funny cat pictures. WOW. Now I will kill myself.

Elect me as your fave Twitter pal. @WmSteveHumphrey

Comment on this story at portlandmercury.com

November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 45


Portland

503.299.9911 Salem

503.689.8080

FREE to listen & reply to ads! FREE CODE: Portland Mercury For other local numbers call:

1-888-MegaMatesTM

24/7 Customer Care 1(888) 634.2628 18+ ©2012 PC LLC 2349

3 Locations Open 24HRS!!!

Here’s looking at you.*

*Through your window… at night… while you’re making love to your wife.

WHY WAIT – Hookup TONIGHT! FREE TO TRY UNLIMITED VIP MEMERSHIP $19 FOR 1 WEEK Always FREE TO CHAT WITH VIP MEMBERS

503-222-CHAT VANCOUVER 360-696-5253 EVERETT 425-405-CHAT TACOMA 253-359-CHAT SEATTLE 206-753-CHAT BOISE 208-350-2500 STRAIGHT/GAY/BI

www.LiveMatch.com

portlandmercury.com/hump

Photo by Michael J Demeo

Tickets now on sale! 11/8 — 11/11 at Cinema 21 616 NW 21st Ave • 21+ all shows except Sun 11/11 4:30 PM now 18+ 46 Portland Mercury November 1, 2012


MAAKIES // TONY MILLIONAIRE

Tony Millionaire’s work is published by Dark Horse Comics and online at maakies.com

Ryan North has daily comics available at qwantz.com

DINOSAUR COMICS // RYAN NORTH ILLUSTRATION BY KALAH ALLEN

SORRY MISS DAISY Does anyone else cringe when someone they know decides to go carless? Too often in Portland going carless means, “I expect my friends to give me a ride while I reap the benefits of not having to pay to maintain a car or be responsible for the environmental impacts.” Look, if you choose to give up your trusty ride then that means the burden of figuring out how to get around should fall on you before anyone else. You want to give up your enclosed mode of transportation available at any time in this rainy city? Get ready to wait for a MAX or bus. Maybe get acquainted with a bike and a raincoat. Of course I can say no, but if we’re going to the same place it’s hard not to look like an ass. The word “carless” is synonymous with “Be my taxi.” Take me to the airport, take me downtown, take me to exercise, take me to a show, take me to a bar, take me home, pick me up from, swing by… how about I take your ass to a bus stop at midnight in the dead of winter so you can realize how stupid the decision to get rid of your whip was?—Anonymous Submit your unsigned confessions and accusations of 300 words or less, changing the names of the innocent and guilty, to “I, Anonymous,” at anonymous@portlandmercury.com, or on the new I, Anonymous blog at portlandmercury.com. UNDERWORLD // KAZ

Kaz's work is published by Fantagraphics; view his work at kazunderworld.com

Submit your photos & art online at flickr.com/groups/portlandmercury

skotcoatsworth

IDIOT BOX // MATT BORS

Matt Bors is a Portland-based political cartoonist; view his work at mattbors.com

carsonwright

November 1, 2012 Portland Mercury 47


The Portland Mercury BULLETIN BOARD online > > > www.portlandmercury.com/backpage (503) 294-0840

BANKRUPTCY - Stop Creditors

FREE Consultation. PAYMENT PLANS. Scott Hutchinson, Atty. Since 1997. Experienced Debt Relief Agency. CALL (503) 808-9032 www.Hutchinson-Law.com

SALVIA AND KRATOM!

Quick Fix Synthetic Urine now available. Your hookah headquarters. Glass pipes, discount tobacco, detox products & vaporizers.

Still Smokin’ Tobacco For Less 12302 SE Powell 503-762-4219

Area 69

7720 SE 82nd Ave Adult Movies, Video Arcade and PIPES! New Variety of Kratom pills! 503-774-5544

Oregon Wage Claim Attorneys Helping Oregon employees collect their wages and penalties!

Free Consultation Schuck Law (503) 974-6142 (360) 566-9243 http://wageclaim.org

House Of Pipes Glass and Tobacco

925 NE Broadway 1009 Mollalla Ave Portland, OR Oregon City Glass Pipes, Tobacco, Kratom

Junk Cars Wanted

Your Website Now! www.littlebrandsthatcan.com

Revived Cellular & Technology

SELL US YOUR USED CELL PHONES

Monday-Friday 10:30 - 7:00 Saturday 11:00 - 5:00 7816 N Interstate Ave - near Fred Meyer 503-286-1527

Help Wanted at Revived Cellular 7816 N Interstate Ave

SMOKE SIGNALS ON SANDY Vaporizers, hookahs, glass pipes, tobacco, gift items

3554 NE SANDY BLVD. 503-235-0504

Vasectomy * Essure Lovejoy Surgicenter 503-221-1870 TOBACCO FOR LESS INC

KRATOM, VAPORIZERS, PIPES, HOOKAHS GOOGLE TO SEE INSIDE STORE 4071 NE SANDY BLVD 503-327-8276

Tokens

Smoke Shop

Ask for Jake (503) 936-5923

Quick Cash

Glass & Cheap Smokes 1971 W Burnside 503-206-7353

Poppi’s Pipes

CLASSES & EVENTS

New Kratom New Store Hours Mon - Sat 10 am - 9 pm! 503-206-7731

HOST YOUR EVENT HERE!! BOSSANOVA BALLROOM 722 E Burnside 503 206 7630 Bossanovaballroom.com BRAZILIAN JIU JITSU

1712 E. Burnside Pipes, Detox, Scales, Hookah, Shisha

Poppis pipes NEW LOCATION NOW OPEN 3619 SE division 971-229-1760 Come in for a Free gift and Medible for OMMP!

THIS SATURDAY Portland’s LARGEST Garage Sale

Professional MANSCAPING 503-841-0385

Hundreds of Sales

Bodyhair grooming for guys by guy in NoPo. PDXadult.com

VAPORIZED Smoke Shop

Open 11-9 Mon-Sat, 12-5 Sun 8778 NE Sandy Blvd

for

Part-time technician and part-time customer service representative positions available. If interested call the store at 503-286-1527

*(7<285+$,5&87$7%,6+236$1'+(/3 5&87 $7 %,6+233 5&8 *(7<285+$,5&87$7%,6+236$1'+(/3 )(('1(('<)$0,/,(67+,6&+5,670$6 )(('1(('<)$0,/,(67+,6&+5,670$6 )QTGXGT[TCKUGFCV%KUJQRUC5CFKQ&CDFTKXGTIGVU )QTGXGT[TCKUGFCV%KUJQRUC5CFKQ&CDFTKXGTIGVU CO COQJCYMCPFHCOKNKGUIGVCVWTMG[&JTKUVOCUFKPPGT COQJCYMCPFHCOKNKGUIGVCVWTMG[&JTKUVOCUFKPPGT PQXGODGTUVPQXGODGTVJ RCTVKEKRCVKPICVCNNDKUJQRUNQECVKQPU PQXGODGT UVPQXGODGTVJ

TCFKQECDECTGUQTI

Learn ground defense skills under black belt instruction Info @ nwfighting.com. 503-740-2666

Portland EXPO Center 2060 N Marine Dr. 97217 Nov 3rd 8am-5pm Adults $4.00 Kids Free www.portlandgsale.com

Tai Chi Classes

Enhance awareness via moving meditation nwfighing.com or call 503-740-2666

www.mellowmood.com ll d

4119 SE Hawthorn Hawthorne,, Portland ph: 503-235-PIPE (7473 (7473)

F*ck 639 SE Morrison star-bar-rocks.com

DKUJQRUDCTDGTUJQREQO


The Portland Mercury, November 1, 2012 (Vol. 13, No. 24)