WATCH Magazine - Spring 2021

Volume XI, Issue II Spring 2021

watch PORTER-GAUD SCHOOL

1

The watch would like to give special thanks to the many who helped out with this issue, particularly: Jen Lorenz, Brink Norton, DuBose Egleston, Brian Principe, Caitlin Adelson, Janet Preslar, Mills Long, David Axon, Callie Liberatos, Nathaniel Ford, Michael Shipman and Ethan Lehrman

2

Table Of Contents 6

20 24

Girl World: The Uneasy Path That Half of Us Take

6 Katherine Geils: Prologue

8 Callie Liberatos: Scrolling Through the Spectrum

10 Avery Crymes: The Struggle Against Yourself

12 Ananya Chag: Guide to a Gas Station

14 Esther Adelson: Double Standards

16 Sophie Levenson: The Shadow Behind Your Back

Say Yes to the Dress: Strutting Outside the Box of Fashion Norms Emmy Keogh Dissonance and Distortation: An Appeal for Musical Imperfection Wilkes Cramer

26

Watch Star Wars You Must: A Primer to the Galaxy Far Far Away Turner Long

30

A Sense of Self: What’s Happened to Our Imagination Ananya Chag

32

Partially Putting Off: Procrastinating is Not the End of the World

34

Ditching the Quarantinue Blues: Brief Reviews of Quarantinue To-Do’s Burke Thompson

38

No Passion, No Person. Stop Doing Things Just for College Apps!

Sophie Levenson

42

The Lessons of Julius Waties Waring: A Moral Reckoning

46

Future Nostalgia: The Curious Conundrum with Memory

50

Senior Tribute: A Pictorial Shout-Out to the Class of 2021

52

Faculty Farewell: A Few Special Guests Join This Graduating Class

Rhett Andrews

Peter Beck

Avery Crymes

3

4

Avery Crymes – Managing Editor Katherine Geils – Managing Editor Pleasant Ballenger – Head Publisher Peter Beck – Section Editor Sophie Levenson – Section Editor Esther Adelson – Publisher Jack Steyer – Publisher Patton Galloway – Publisher Burke Thompson – Staff Writer Wilkes Cramer – Staff Writer Ananya Chag – Staff Writer Emmy Keogh – Staff Writer Callie Liberatos – Staff Writer Turner Long – Staff Writer Rhett Andrews – Staff Writer Mr. Childs Smith – Head Advisor Mr. Jonathan Chang – Assistant Advisor

5

Girl World Katherine Geils

Consider this: A few months ago, I was talking to my boyfriend about how I went to Mama Kim’s, downtown, alone, at night.

I was scared; I felt like someone was following me, and I ran down King Street, food in hand, to try and get into my car as quickly as possible.

dismiss the campaigns for equality, for safety, and for greater awareness on other issues that primarily affect women. I began to think about all the ladies I know who have similar stories to mine. I began to think, “Maybe boys who dismiss women’s fears, simply don’t know how relevant these issues are to their lives...”

“Wait, you actually worry about that kind of stuff?” my boyfriend asked, incredulously. “I thought those were just stories.”

To any Porter-Gaud boy, you may simply see a bunch of school girls walking around the hallway in plaid skirts -- some loud, some quiet, some spunky, some shy, some “annoying,” some advocates, and maybe even one you have a crush on. Yes, the hallways are full of different types of girls, and you may simply see them as just high school girls in a hallway, but you may not always think about the life of a girl. No, not the “Oh my god, I don’t know what to wear!” experiences, the “he/she kissed me!” experiences, or even the “I got my first period, and I don’t know what to do!” experiences -- no, these experiences, while noteworthy, are not the only trying experiences for a girl.

“No,” I told him. “Those things actually happen to me and other girls that you know. Those worries are common thoughts among girls and women.”

“Wait, are you being serious?” he asked again, to my annoyance.

“Do you think women are just making up crap?” I asked.

“No, but I didn’t know that things like that happened to girls I actually know,” he said.

I was stunned: how could he not know this?! Had he not been made aware of these stories?

Though my boyfriend is not one to dismiss the calls of women, I began to think about boys and men who do

6

I thought that by the year 2021, in the United States of America of all places, the disparities between women and men would be known to all. While women have made momentous progress in the world, these disparities that we experience and these fears that we have are everpresent and real. These are some stories of women you know, and they only begin to scrape the surface.

Artwork by Callie Liberatos

7

Girl World

Scrolling Through the Spectrum Callie Liberatos

As soon as you wake up, the first thing you do is check your phone. Answer a few Snapchats... scroll through Instagram.

And despite just waking up, you can’t help but already feel completely exhausted. Thinking back on last night, you remember swiping through TikTok until around three am. You check to see if you have any messages and, seeing none, you open TikTok. Something about the app has you clicking on it as soon as you turn on your phone, and it’s not until your second alarm goes off that you realize how long you’ve been scrolling mindlessly.

Maybe the most glaringly obvious problem with TikTok is just how easy it is to get stuck scrolling through posts. Instead of spending five or ten minutes there, it turns into hours.

Multiple hours. You can’t just spend a few minutes without getting sucked in. The videos are so short that it doesn’t feel like you’re spending a lot of time.

Scrolling through comment after comment leaves your

8

Girl World

stomach twisting with anxiety. You see a skinny girl dancing, and the comment section is filled with people saying things like, “wow i was going to eat today,” and “fine i’ll put down my chips.” But on videos with bigger girls dancing, it’s filled with just as terrible comments about how unhealthy or ugly she is. You can’t help but wonder: which side of the spectrum would your body fall on? Going to Snapchat for a second, you take in your bed-head and unwashed face and––seeing the girl staring back at you––you can’t help but feel dejected. Sure, you just woke up. But even at your best, you don’t look anything like the “perfect girls” on TikTok. While Instagram is mostly your own friends, TikTok is scrolling through pretty girl after pretty girl, just a bunch of strangers, and most of the time, it’s the pretty girls who get views. Even scrolling for a mere ten minutes, images of skinny body after skinny body makes the sour taste in your mouth grow worse and worse with each passing minute. While it’s not TikTok’s fault exactly, there has definitely been a rising number of comments and videos like this that have such a negative impact on girls’ body image.

Here’s an idea: how about we just stop commenting on a girl’s body altogether? It perpetuates an environment that makes girls look down on themselves, adding more to the ever-growing negatives girls have to face on social media. It’s disgusting to see people be so quick to put down another person for how they look just because they’re online and have no repercussions for their actions. Sure, you’ve all been to the obligatory assemblies droning on and on about how bad social media is for your self-image. But it can’t be that bad, right? At least that’s what everyone thinks.

However, it feels like every day a new trend comes out making you aware of these things about your body that you didn’t even know you needed to be insecure about.

Hip dips, side profiles, nose shape, eye shape. Honestly, it’s just exhausting. Seeing all these women who look so much better than you do, just one after another, can’t help but put you in a bad mood. And you haven’t even gotten to school yet!

Reopening TikTok, you can’t help but look at these other girls through the male gaze.

Wearing makeup? ––Too obsessed with looks.

Natural? ––Can’t she put in some effort?

Trying to impress boys? ––Pick-me girl.

Not trying at all? ––Lazy and gross looking.

Should you stop having any kind of look or personality at all? Why even try when every action you make is used against you?

Glancing at the clock, you notice it reads 7:40. If you don’t leave now, you’re not going to make it on time, and it’s then that you realize you’ve spent the last hour on your phone. You want to get going, but everything in you is desperate to just stay home and lie there for the rest of the day. School means getting dressed, fixing your hair, applying flawless makeup…

Just the idea of having to get up and make yourself look presentable has you wishing you could just stay home.

It sucks when the comments online are not the only comments you’ll face.

9

Girl World

The Struggle Against Yourself Avery Crymes That’s enough of that, you think. You leave the Snapchat stories and Instagram posts and TikToks behind, get up out of bed, and walk to your bathroom to get ready for school.

You press shuffle on your favorite playlist in hopes of giving yourself a substantial enough distraction. “Cruel Summer” by Taylor Swift comes on.

Your earlier thoughts aren’t as easily brushed aside as you may hope, however. You can never really forget the first things you see right after waking up, or forget how you immediately began to compare the pictures and videos to your own self image. The world of competition in which you have grown up has obviously left its mark; you know far too well how right they were when they declared comparison the “thief of joy.” Nevertheless, you try your best to shake it off as you get out of bed.

Fever dream high in the quiet of the night, You know that I caught it, Taylor sings.

Bad, bad boy Shiny toy with a price You know that I bought it.

As you take off your pajamas, you make

the unfortunate realization that while Taylor Swift is what you’re listening to, only the voice in your head is loud enough to be heard. Walking back into your bathroom, you catch a glimpse of yourself in your mirror and the pictures of yourself and your friends and family taken during some of your most favorite moments taped up on your wall. As you look yourself over in the morning light, you can’t help but to scrutinize yourself, silently picking on every detail you perceive as a flaw. Your mind starts to wander...

Why can’t I look like that girl dancing and laughing with her friends on the beach from that TikTok I watched this morning?

I wish I looked as happy as I did in that picture…

My hair looked so much better that day back in July…

My legs don’t look proportional to my body today...but they’re the same legs I had yesterday and they were fine then…

How was my skin so clear then?

How wasn’t I thinking about this as much then?

I wonder why I can’t just stop comparing myself...

You try and refocus on the song.

Killing me slow, out the window I’m always waiting for you to be waiting below Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes What doesn’t kill me makes me want you more, Taylor laments.

Shaking your head, you turn off the music, grab your backpack, and walk downstairs. Unfortunately, much like your thoughts from earlier, “Cruel Summer’s” mentions of wanting and waiting are not easily forgotten either...

And it’s ooh, whoa oh It’s a cruel summer, sings Taylor

10

Girl World You grab your water bottle and slowly fill it up with ice first, then water.

Hang your head low In the glow of the vending machine I’m not dying Taylor continues her tale.

You twist your water bottle cap back on, pick your backpack up, say a quick “See you later!” to your family, and get into your car. You start the engine, put it in reverse, and Taylor comes back with a fury.

their porch, your around-the-corner-neighbors walking their Golden Retriever, and the smiling old lady who always starts her day in the garden. Each seemingly without a care in the world, languishing with smiles in the January sunshine.

Taylor’s storm reaches a height as you accelerate over a speed bump: And I screamed for whatever it’s worth “I love you,” ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?

He looks up grinning like a devil.

Said I’m fine, but it wasn’t true I don’t wanna keep secrets, just to keep you ...back to your earlier thoughts again. For what seems like the thousandth time in only a short period of being conscious and awake. It’s exhausting to have your mind make these jumps all the time. It’s a good thing that school helps to distract you, you think, pulling out of the driveway. You count every class, every hour, and every minute that goes by that you are stuck in a classroom and aren’t acting as your own worst enemy as a win. I bet I can pretend I don’t actually care for fewer hours tomorrow, you think.

However, you are painfully aware that tomorrow will be no different.

And I snuck in through the garden gate Every night that summer just to seal my fate You drive down your street, passing your new neighbors hanging out on

11

Girl World

g

a

y an

An

a h C

Gu

n

to a

Gas You’re sitting quite comfortably in the passenger seat of a car. You’re wearing baggy sweatpants.

Your hair is a mess. You look like you just woke up. Your mom is inside the gas station store, getting the receipt. But hey, no worries. The car is a protective vehicle that shields you from the outside world, right? Think again. You’ve left the door open. There’s still room for something to creep in.

The gas station in this neighborhood can be sketchy at times. But it’s broad daylight. So just keep your head down, mind your own business, don’t talk to anyone, right? Think again. It’s a chilly December afternoon. You think about movies and TV shows; those girls are always put in some kind of situation.

Sometimes they’re dancing, sometimes they’re talking loudly, sometimes they’re wearing tight clothes.

But you’re not doing any of those things. You’re doing absolutely nothing. So thinking by that logic, no one—no one -- no one—would one -- wouldever everthink thinkof of approaching you at the gas station, especially not a balding, middle-aged man wearing a camouflage baseball cap, whose boundaries are apparently nonexistent.

12

Sta tio

ide

Think again, baby-doll. You’re sixteen, you’re a girl, and the door is open. You’ve opened a gate. A gate that can let in a monster.

The monster looks over at you from the next station and smiles leeringly. At first you don’t think anything of it; smiling never hurt anybody, right? Oh, but you’re so wrong. You look back at your phone, at a funny video you’re now trying to watch.

You look back up. Now, the monster is standing right in front of you. Right in the open space of the car door that you’ve left open. The monster opens his fat mouth and dares to speak.

“Hey, pretty baby. What are you up to there?”

You can’t talk. It’s like your lips are glued together.

You can’t move. It’s like your fingers have lost their ability of motion. You want to punch, kick, anything. You want to tell the monster to go away.

You want to slam the car door in his stupid face.

But you can’t, you’re completely, indefinitely frozen. You feel like a little girl again, afraid of the world and unsure of who you are. Back then, you always used to make sure the closet door was

Girl World

completely closed because you were terrified monsters would come into your room. From time to time, you still do that. It’s like your nightmare has come to life.

“What’s wrong, you don’t want to give me a kiss?”

When you don’t make any move to respond, he tries a new tact. “You look like a dancer. Do you dance?”

The monster grins, baring all his teeth, which makes him look even more terrifying, if that’s possible.

You feel nauseous. You want to throw-up. You want to burst into tears. No, no that’s not an option -- only your option—only your stuffed stuffed llama llama is is allowed allowed to see you cry. First of all, you hate dancing.

A giraffe on roller skates would have better coordination. Secondly, how dare the monster think you’d ever in a million years be okay with this? But the reality is that he does, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

SPEAK! shouts the voice in your head, which tends to sound like Oprah Winfrey for some reason. It’s like a light flickering on. Your voice, loud and clear, rings out.

“MAMA! I NEED YOU!” The monster grows very red in the face, glares at you, and skulks back to his car at the other pump. At the same time, your mom reappears from inside the store at to your side of the car and asks why you’re yelling. You tell her what had just happened, barely managing to keep your voice from shaking or stuttering.

Your mom, who is so much braver than you

are, isn’t the least bit intimidated. Mama Bear is in full force. You’re a little nervous; your mom may be fiery, but she is even tinier than you. The monster is probably three times her size. She stomps over to the massive, growling truck and starts threatening to call the police.

You peer out the window and witness the monster yelling back. You hear him tell her that he is an “upstanding former marine” (well fancy that!) and to “go back to her country.”

Oh God, he’s played the “country” card. He’s done it now.

She’s not yelling anymore and her voice drips with ice. “It’s none of your business where we’re from. I don’t give a shit if you’re the bloody Dalai Lama,” you hear your mom say fiercely. “If you so much as look at my daughter again, I promise the only view you’ll be seeing is the inside of a prison cell.”

If you were that monster, you too would would hidehide behind your ginormous truck, honestly.

You remember when you were a kid. Whenever you were frightened of monsters in the closet, your mom always used to tell you that she’d scare them away. The monster, now flustered, gets back into his truck and drives away.

Hopefully far, far away. Hopefully to the great trans-saharan city of Timbuktu.

As she storms back to the car, you watch your mom in awe, wondering how she got to be so strong. But you remember, your mom has been in these situations before. Many more than you have.

After all, this is a way of life. This is a girl’s world. And a girl’s world spares none of us.

13

Girl World World Girl

You sit at a desk staring at the board, taking notes, half paying attention to what the teacher is saying to ensure you at least somewhat know what’s going on. Your hand moves across the page writing the gist of the information spread across the whiteboard; numbers and symbols fill the sheet with additional notes about the steps added in the margins as a sort of afterthought. But, even with your comfort with the subject, there seems to be an unconscious pressure on you, weighing on your thoughts, impacting your involvement. Over the years, you have grown to ignore it, to just treat the class like any other learning environment, but some days, it registers again, and the strange loneliness grates on you.

You are a smart girl, you always have been, and you enjoy learning and taking classes which intrigue you, like anyone would, but it has always bothered you that oftentimes, you are

the only female in the room. A class of sixteen, and it’s only you and fifteen boys from your grade. It’s not like the boys aren’t qualified, like they aren’t meant to be there as much as anyone else, but you have always heard that girls are smart, too.

So why are you alone? Why must you feel out of place in a class and subject that comes easy to you solely because no one else like you is here? Why do you feel as if you are committing some social taboo just by existing in a space meant for you to learn in? Why do you still feel pressure even after years of existing outnumbered in classes like this one? And why do you feel the need to always perform at an astronomical level like you have something to prove about yourself and other girls?

Thinking about this experience, you think over its reflection in the in the world, world, how how women women cancan be be portrayed portrayed as as thethe emotional emotional and

Double Standards Esther Adelson

14

Girl World World Girl

moral and moral centers centers of the of home the home andand many many political political movements, movements, but as butsoon as soon as they as they attempt attempt to actually to actually hold hold some some form formofofpower, power, they are attacked attackedfor forthose thoseexact exactreasons. reasons.These Theserestrictions restrictions were were especially especially seen during seen during the 2016 theelection 2016 election throughthrough some ofsome the of bias theagainst bias against HillaryHillary Clinton.Clinton.

You areYou expected are expected to show to emotions, show emotions, especially strong especially ones,strong to others ones, when to others confronting when issues, confronting but issues, displaying but those displaying responses thoseimpacts responses yourimpacts credibility, yourbut credibility, if you but don’t if show you don’t emotion, showyou emotion, still loseyou credibility still losefor credibility appearingfor coldappearing hearted. Having cold-hearted. an emotional Having response an emotional to a situation response becomes to a situation impossible becomes for you impossible as you wantfor it toyou mean as you something want itwhen to mean you something show emotions; whenbut you if show you don’t emotions, usuallybut respond if youemotionally, don’t usually respond you are often emotionally, disregarded, you and are often if youdisregarded, respond emotionally and if you too respond often, you emotionally are cast as over-emotional too often, you are andcast still as disregarded. over-emotional This and makes stillit disregarded. so there is noThis true middle makes itground so there because is no others true middle can ground always find because someothers reasoncan to dismiss always your find some response. reason to dismiss your response.

Other than the problematic way you see society treat powerful Other femalethan politicians the problematic and CEOs, way there’s you the see way society the treat mediapowerful treats female celebrities. politicians and While CEOs, the media there’sis the notoriously way the media unfair to treats all female celebrities, celebrities. you have While noticed thethat media oftentimes is notoriously femaleunfair celebrities to all arecelebrities, judged on their you have looksnoticed far morethat than oftentimes on their actual what female abilities celebrities and performance. are judged Appearance on separates should from not their factoractual into the abilities and judgment performance of character to focus or ability, on their butlooks. it is often Appearance seen in questions should not asked factor by interviewers into the judgment like, the ofvery character common or ability, “Who but are you it is often wearing?” seen in questions asked by interviewers like, the very

common On top of“Who that, there’s are youthe wearing?” fact that you often see men being encouraged to date or even just participate in multiple sexual On encounters top of that, withthere’s various thepartners, fact thatbut youa often woman seelosing men being her encouraged virginity is still to date treated or even by society just participate as some tainting in multiple act.sexual She encounters becomes lesser withafter various losing partners, it, which but simply a woman isn’t losing true,her and virginity doesn’t even is still make treated much bysense. societyIf as you some don’t tainting go far act. enough, She becomes you are considered lesser aftera losing prude,it, butwhich if yousimply go tooisn’t far, true, you’re and doesn’t promiscuous. even make And there’s much sense. still noIfmiddle you don’t ground. go far enough, you are considered a prude, but if you go too far, you’re promiscuous.

You honestly And feel somewhat there’s stilldisappointed no middle ground. that humanity as a whole has gotten this far and still perpetuates and uses biases You like these honestly andfeel really— somewhat disappointed that humanity as a whole has gotten this far and still perpetuates and uses biases like “Canthese you and tell me really-the answer to this practice problem?”

“Can Your eyes you tell snapme upthe to answer the board, to this glancing practice back problem?” and forth between the notes you had messily scrawled and the example; Your quickly eyes doing snapsome up tomental the board, math,glancing you double backcheck and forth that the between answer isthe correct—you notes you had really messily can’t scrawled afford to be andwrong the example, after quickly spacing doing out so some much—and mentalthe math, pressure doublebuilds. checking Afterthat a tense the answer five seconds, is correct--you you answer really withcan’t a tone afford that’stodisinterested be wrong after but spacing not bored, outjust so much--the sure you arepressure right without builds.boasting, After a tense a touch five seconds, of an upturn youinanswer your voice with aattone the end that’s in disinterested case you are wrong, but not bored, makingjust it sound sure you as ifare youright are without slightly questioning boasting, a touch your answer. of an upturn in your voice at the end in case you are wrong, making it “Correct.” sound as if you are slightly questioning your answer.

“Correct.”

Small smile, some of the pressure lifts, enough that it fades back into the background, but it’s not gone, never truly gone.

Small smile, some of the pressure lifts, enough that it fades back into the background, but it’s not gone, never truly gone.

15

Girl World

The Shadow Behind Your Back On a day filled with sunbeams but bittered by the cold, after several cozy hours spent selling books to strangers behind the comforting barrier that is the front desk at Blue Bicycle Books, you walk through the half-crowded streets of Downtown Charleston. As always, you notice all the things that surround you—particularly the people. A woman walks by, her head tilted down towards her phone screen; two young men turn the corner, chattering jovially as they pass you to cross the street. Cars creep slowly past afternoon jaywalkers and over hills of cracked pavement; men with greased-back hair stand in storefronts, begging you to buy their expensive soaps and hair products.

It is too cold for the crowds to be large, too cold for the comforting throng of people who usually fill the streets. Too cold to be wearing a skirt, but alas, you are anyway.

People walk by, and among them walk men, and with those men comes the pervasive trepidation of voyeurism. That man right there might be on his way to get a salad for his lunch break, or he might be a viciously

16

Sophie Levenson intentioned creep. There is absolutely no way to know, and so naturally, your anxious mind assumes the worst.

As these strangers sneak by, so too do the clouds over the sun, and the wind starts to follow you along with your shadow. You tug on the hemline of your skirt, and you tell your spiraling mind that you are alright because this is King Street and you are in public and nobody would dare. And you keep walking.

And then you turn down a street that is not King Street; a street that does not even have a name that anybody would recognize, but a street on which you park your car— because if you paid for parking, you would spend more money than you made at work. There is not even the semblance of a crowd here—there is only the occasional wanderer, and there is you. Too many vans and pickup trucks line this road; too many shadows walk behind you—imaginary, or perhaps not—and too many steps remain between you and your parked car.

This is when Fear arrives.

You walk, quickly, with your thumb resting on the trigger of your bright pink pepper spray, throwing far-too-frequent glances over your shoulder to make sure there are no Shadows behind you. And when you pass by somebody walking the opposite way, you aim your eyes straight ahead and move closer to

Girl World heart is beating even faster than your feet are moving as you approach the sanctuary and hope, hope, hope that you are the only one there.

Maybe you pull out your phone and pretend to call your dad, or maybe you don’t, but either way, your hands are shaking far more dramatically than is warranted by the windy chill. the curb and walk quickly, quickly, quickly.

You are sure that the panic is evident because you can feel it seeping over every inch of your skin, and maybe you will offend someone who is just walking downtown to enjoy their day. But you go on, being offensive and feeling sorry for it but knowing that nothing in this moment is stronger than Fear.

You step up to your car door and unlock it, and you jump, feet first, into the safety of your driver’s seat, slamming the door and locking it and acting as if you are four years old and trying to escape the monsters under your bed. Except in this case, the monsters might actually be real.

But you made it. Alive and well, and perfectly okay. Nothing happened.

But it could have.

And maybe next time it will.

And then you see your car, and it shines miraculously in the sun; it is your temple and sanctuary and a literal bastion against this horribly unknowable world. But there might be somebody under your car. Or inside of it. Or on the other side, crouching where you cannot see him, as stealthy and observant as a shadow.

In horror movies, the worst part always comes right at the end: right before the heroine reaches the door, or just when she thinks she has won. Your

17

Girl World

“these disparities that we experience and these fears that we have are everpresent and real” “This is when Fear arrives.”

“While Instagram is mostly your own friends, TikTok is scrolling through pretty girl after pretty girl, just a bunch of strangers, and most of the time, it’s the pretty girls who get views.”

“You count every class, every hour, and every minute that goes by that you are stuck in a classroom and aren’t acting as your own worst enemy as a win.”

“So why are you alone?”

Girl World

“And a girl’s world spares none of us.”

Say Yes to the Dress

Strutting Outside the Box of Fashion Norms

By Emmy Keogh

The shutter of the camera whirled and clicked, as Vogue photographers captured stunning images of a 28-yearold rock star striding playfully through a field wearing a Gucci lace-trimmed dress with layers of crinoline to enhance the flare of the skirt. The rock star pointed at the photographer and laughed, showing off brightly painted fingernails and heavy golden rings adorning the star’s hands. After the shot, the rock star smiled and thanked everyone before slipping out of the designer dress and into something more comfortable: lacy boots, high-waisted wide leg pants with a knitted sweater-top, and a formal string of pearls draped about the neck.

But this rock star wasn’t Ariana Grande or Lizzo; it was Harry Styles. The cover of Vogue shocked its audience

20

—boy-band-wonder-turned-solo-artist Harry Styles

stared out from the cover, confident, happy…. and in a dress.

As the traditional definition of gender expands, so has the entertainment and fashion industries’ definition of what is “manly” and what is “feminine”; the Fine Line (get it?) has been blurred.

“I find myself looking at women’s clothes, thinking they’re amazing,” says Styles in the December 2020 issue of Vogue. “Clothes are there to have fun with and experiment with and play with. What’s really exciting is that all of these lines are just kind of crumbling away. When you take away ‘There’s clothes for men and there’s clothes for women,’ once you remove any barriers, obviously you open up the arena in which you can play. I’ll go in shops sometimes, and I just find myself looking at the women’s clothes thinking they’re amazing.

It’s like anything—anytime you’re putting barriers up in your own life, you’re just limiting yourself. There’s so much joy to be had in playing with clothes.

I’ve never really thought too much about what it

means—it just becomes this extended part of creating something.” Gucci fashion designer Alessandro Michele agrees: “He is the image of a new era, of the way that a man can look.”

In some ways, it’s surprising to see a confident man in a pink dress; however, in another time, it would have been expected. Gender identification with color (boys = blue, girls = pink) only started in the early 1900s. Before that time, no one thought of color being assigned to a certain gender. If anything, boys were often dressed in pink, and certainly in dresses. In this 1884 photo, FDR was dressed in a frilly dress and patent leather shoes holding a feather hat. (Harry Styles would love it, wouldn’t he?) Boys wearing dresses was very common at the beginning of the 20th century, especially through age three when children of both sexes were still wearing diapers and growing.

In a June 1918 style guide for children, the color scheme was addressed head-on, but it was not what you would expect: “The generally accepted rule is pink for the boys, and blue for the girls. The reason is that pink, being a more decided and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl.”2

Future President Franklin D. Roosevelt in 18841

In the 1940s, the style finally became the reverse, but no one is sure why clothing manufacturers made the abrupt switch in their advertising. With Sears catalogs shipped across the country, soon everyone was used to the image of boys in blue, girls in pink. And it stuck.

In fact, the start of high heel fashion began, not with women, but with men. Soldiers, in fact.

Persian soldiers in the 16th century realized that wearing a sturdy high heel would grip the horse’s stirrups better and would help them in their quest to defeat the

A Persian man’s 16th century high heels made of horse-hide and pressed mustard seeds3

21

Ottoman Empire (that’s not covered in WHAP, sophomores — you heard it here first).

As many Eastern luxury items became sought after in Western Europe during the Age of Exploration, high heels for men were among the most popular. King Louis the XIV of France wore elaborate high heels with battle scenes painted on them; the heels and soles were always painted red, which conveyed wealth and power. Louis 14th, ever protective of his fabulous wardrobe, even ruled that only members of his court could wear red high heels — it was not for the common man.

Charles II of England, not to be outdone, wore a pair of red heels for his 1661 coronation portrait.

So why did women begin wearing high heels? In order to copy men’s fashion in the 17th century.

Only during the Enlightenment did men finally give up their beautiful footwear and go with a practical, solid shoe.5 Their loss!

Knowing red high heels started with the military and ruling elite, it is ironic that some Temple University cadets came under attack after wearing red high heels for a “Walk a Mile in Her Shoes” sexual assault awareness event in 2015. A review of the matter was even taken up by the Army’s Cadet Command in Fort Knox. A retired officer posted

Louis the 14th in his high heels in 17014

Temple University cadets sport red high heels in uniform for a “Walk A Mile in Her Shoes” sexual assault awareness event in 2015.6

22

about the picture of the Temple cadets in heels, saying: “As a retired CSM [Command Sergeant Major] I feel the command should be re-assigned. Violation of the uniform dress code. And it just makes me sick. After 33 years this is how we train our future OFFICERS.” I guess the military is not ready to re-embrace its colorful, historic roots with the red high-heeled shoe, the 17th century symbol for power, military strength, and wealth.

You might be asking: Why does this matter?

How did clothing become so controversial?

And why, really, are we shocked by Harry Styles in a dress in the first place? The general answer is that somewhere along the way, people began assigning specific gender norms to specific clothing; the thinking became really rigid, and it was all reinforced by the media, advertising, and culture. However, in recent years, the perception of gender has shifted, and gender roles have softened.

Men, such as James Charles, Cover Girl’s first male ambassador, give makeup tutorials on YouTube, while women fly F16s over Iraq.

It’s not hard to understand why fashion, which mirrors societal norms, is shifting with it. I would not be surprised at all to see previously-thought-of “macho men,” such as Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, showing up in a black leather skirt to an awards show now; neither would I be shocked to see a “feminine” A-lister, such as Kristen Bell, rocking a baby blue tuxedo on the red carpet.

And it’s okay! Fashion will push forward, changing with the times, pulling us all along with it. And it’s just clothing. It doesn’t change the person underneath.

To me, it’s pretty cool just to see all the creativity taking place, people stretching past the boxes we’ve assigned them to. When you take away preconceived notions,

what else could we come up with? We all deserve to be able to live our lives outside of the box and have the freedom of creative expression. So, thank Harry Styles for wearing that dress. Maybe he was just trying to sell more copies of Vogue, but in a way, he’s making us rethink our humanity.

Boulton, Terynn. “The Surprisingly Recent Time Period When Boys Wore Pink, Girls Wore Blue, and Both Wore Dresses.“ Today I Found Out. todayifoundout.com 2 Kremer, William. “Why did men stop wearing high heels?” BBC online. https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-21151350 3 Kremer. “Why did men stop wearing high heels” 4 Kremer. “Why did men stop wearing high heels?”

5 Bryant, Jordan. “ROTC Cadets Wearing Heels for Sexual Assault Awareness Spurs Review.” Military.com online, 23 April 2015.

6 Bryant. “ROTC Cadets Wearing Heels”

1

23

Dissonance GDistortion An Appeal for Musical Imperfection

By Wilkes Cramer Cascading waves of abrasive sound and boomed crashing chords—distorted guitar mimics the sound when an amp is broken, overdriven, or, in the case of Dave Davies from The Kinks, stabbed by a knife. Originally a flaw in recording, the technique, supported by the rise of artists like Jimi Hendrix, kickstarted the most prevalent sound in modern music.

Suddenly, something sounding less clean could be preferable.

I may not have the most expansive music taste, but music that’s gritty and rough around the edges often appeals to me. Most of the time, this comes in the form of distorted/dissonant guitar or vocals; cleanly produced music can feel limiting at times.

To me, music works best as a direct medium for emotion and the soul, strumming away at an acoustic guitar, not caring about the clarity of every note but instead letting the music flow. Clairo’s song “Sofia” uses a crazily fuzzed-out guitar solo mimicking the chorus’s melody, contrasting with the bubble-gum pop atmosphere of the rest of the song. Similarly, Neil Young was famous for recording his guitar solos on thrifted, cheap guitars, improvising in very few attempts and focusing mostly on capturing his exact feeling through whatever he ended up playing.

Much like distortion, dissonance (a clash of disharmonious notes) can make a strong musical impact. Songs with all the right notes sound great sonically, but does this really echo the imperfection of reality? “A Day in The Life” by The Beatles utilizes a whole orchestra, reaching a chaotic crescendo with no time signature or key for a chilling, off-putting, attention-capturing effect. The natural reaction to any kind of dissonance is discomfort, just like words in a story describing an on-edge, suspenseful scene. This reaction of discomfort can be manipulated musically —through a return to concordance. Hearing off-key notes creates a sort of tension, and when that tension is resolved, it can be euphoric.

24

An appreciation of imperfect music also eases the barrier of entry to start creating music. Low-budget acts have generally leaned towards a low-fidelity (lofi) sound, not only due to lack of funding and time, but also often as a stylistic option. Especially with a homemade band with zero budget, making some of the slipups intentional is just a win-win scenario. “Very Mild,” a song by one of these homemade bands, Riva on Spring, ebbs and flows between chaotic drums and chaotic guitar. This raw sound, achieved through poor quality mics and hasty recording, channels the artist’s input with fewer obstacles.

The existence of live recordings as a preferred medium (take a look at The Grateful Dead or Phish) and the continued respect for playing live instruments —even as music has shifted digitally—at least points towards some common fascination with the human element in music. To be a human is to be imperfect, and music that demonstrates this is, in a way, more true to us than a perfect mix could ever be. Hearing an artist perform live terribly is disappointing: there’s that sense of disconnect from what the artist can really do versus what you’ve heard on Spotify. Beyond just the disappointment in the lack of talent, there’s also the feeling that the recording rings less genuine.

Our perception of music has changed over time: much of classical music was about suppressing error and being as perfect as possible; this is equally seen in art movements. But rather than striving for the asymptote of perfection, art can now be more about expression than a perfect carbon-copy. Music as an art is for expression, and unpolished music ensures that no aspect of artistic expression is hindered. The imperfect human element is what makes music, music.

Artwork by Ethan Lehrman

25

Watch Star Wars You Must A Primer to the Galaxy Far Far Away

By Turner Long Don’t know the Death Star? Never heard of “Darth Vader”? Obi-Wan WHO?! Don’t have time to sit down and watch a long series of movies? Don’t fear! In this article, I hope to get everyone into Star Wars and bring you along on the experience of a lifetime!

The article itself is split up chronologically and contains primers for each of the movies, so please feel free to pick and choose what movies you would like to read about and watch! I hope these little teasers will encourage you to watch the movies, as well as set you up for the new series and movies on Disney+. So, without further ado, let the journey begin...

Jedi (aka the bad guys). And yes, while he may look like an overgrown tomato with horns, I can assure you he is quite lethal. Anyway, with Sith presence on the rise, the race to discover the identity of the Sith Lord (Darth Maul’s master) commences, for where there is a Sith assassin, there is always a Sith Lord lurking in the shadows.

Episode II: Attack of the Clones

When political conflicts threaten Senator Padme Amidala, our favorite Jedi duo is called upon. Obi-

Episode I: Phantom Menace

Starting in a galaxy far, far away, we are first introduced to the ancient race of sorcerers known as Jedi.

Yeah, that’s right, the ones who can move things with their minds while swinging their colorful glowing swords. Following the story of two such Jedi, Qui-Gon Jinn and his padawan / apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi, we are introduced to a kid named Anakin Skywalker. While at first, he seems just like an ordinary slave boy (whose boss looks like a flying slug), we discover that he may have a connection with the Force that exceeds that of Grand Master Yoda’s (you know, the short little green one that looks like a troll). This means that Anakin’s got, like, the most Force. Ever.

After taking Anakin back to the Jedi Temple, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon protect the boy from Darth Maul, a Sith assassin, sworn enemies of the 26

Artwork by Mills Long

Wan begins working to catch whoever is trying to kill Padme while Anakin falls in love and marries her (good “work,” Anakin!).

However, love isn’t allowed for the Jedi, so they keep their marriage a secret and have a secret staycationhoneymoon. Meanwhile, Obi-wan ends up on a watery planet where he discovers clones being produced without the Jedi Council’s knowledge. However, to make matters stranger, this army is supposedly on the side of the Jedi (yes, this is a pleasant surprise, just a little strange).

“...it is a heartwrenching tale, as it humanizes the clone army, making wartime tragedy more prominent than in any of the other movies or series.”

Needless to say, this is some pretty shocking news, and it somehow leads to an arena where Padme, ObiWan, and Anakin are sentenced to public executions (and of course, the near-death experience only brings the two love birds closer). But with the clone army to assist them, the Jedi council is able to perform a risky rescue attempt to save the trio, ending with a battle between Yoda and his fallen apprentice, Count Dooku (I know what you are thinking…Dookie! And yes, I suppose that fits). The fight is probably one of the best in all of Star Wars, as Yoda displays his immense command of the Force and proves he’s still got combat skillz even at, like, 900 years old, making this moment a definite must see.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Unlike most of the Star Wars franchise, the Clone Wars is a series rather than a movie. Traced through the eyes of Anakin’s young padawan, Ahsoka Tano, the Clone Wars traces the political turmoil and chaos that ensues with a rising Sith power, cleverly hiding serious emotion in an animated cartoon. Additionally, it is a heart-wrenching tale, as it humanizes the clone army, making wartime tragedy more prominent than in any of the other movies or series. With a full blown war between the Jedi and the Sith, the Clone Wars follows the transition in identities of the Jedi and the Sith into political parties: the Republic and the

Separatists, respectively. As the war continues, the citizens of the Republic lose faith in the Jedi, once socalled “peace keepers,” as they are ultimately fighting a bloody war.

Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Captured by the leader of the Separatist droid army, Chancellor Palpatine is in dire need of a rescue, as his death could tip the scales of the war towards the Separatists. Unfortunately, the Separatists didn’t know he was secretly on their side (so killing him might have actually harmed them. Oops.). Once he is “rescued” and brought safely back to the capital, Padme brings Anakin the great news that she is pregnant (but emotional attachment is forbidden by the Jedi order, right? Guess they shouldn’t have gotten secretly married in the second episode. Oh well).

With a tragic turn of events, Anakin has a change of heart and falls to the dark side of the force, wiping out the majority of the Jedi. Of course, Obi-Wan didn’t like that Anakin turned to the dark side, so they ended up having a pretty heated argument about it. After a battle with Obi-Wan, Anakin is burned from lava and left crippled (which is why he ends up in that black suit and breathes so heavily as Darth Vader). However, all hope is not lost (see below), as Padme gives birth to twins, Luke and Leia, segueing into the next trilogy of the Skywalker Saga.

Episode IV: A New Hope

Taking place around twenty years after the end of Episode III, Princess Leia is captured by Darth Vader (her dad, who has no knowledge whatsoever that she is his daughter and vice versa) and held on his ship, but not before she sends two droids to the planet Tatooine to deliver a message to Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Here, an aged Obi-Wan reveals that he is a Jedi to Luke. Surprise! So, what’s the first thing they do?

They walk into a bar (what else did you think an old Jedi and a kid were going to do?) and end up meeting Han Solo and

“Yoda displays his immense command of the force and proves he’s still got combat skillz even at, like, 900 years old.”

27

Artwork by Mills Long

Chewbacca, who is basically a massive walking teddy bear who can tear your arms off. They set off to save the princess (Luke’s twin, but they are both oblivious to this), who is now being held captive on the Death Star: a literal planet-sized killing machine!

Once on the Death Star, the squad embarks on a valiant effort to save Leia, ending in the long-awaited duel between Darth Vader and his old master, ObiWan. However, the battle does not go as planned, as Obi-Wan lets himself die, allowing Luke and the others to escape and meet with the Rebel Alliance.

Upon hearing the news that the Death Star has located their rebel base, the Rebels zip through the interior of the Death Star with the use of their famous X-wing fighters (cause their wings make an X shape), ultimately blowing the main reactor and destroying the Death Star. Cue the celebration music!

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

28

Now at their new secret base, the Rebels hunker down on the snowy planet of Hoth. But while exploring the icy landscape and checking for spying Imperial droids, Luke is abducted by a snow monster. Although he escapes, Luke comes close to death while wandering

aimlessly in the freezing cold until he hallucinates a vision of Obi-Wan, who tells him to go to the Dagobah system to find an old Jedi master who will teach him the ways of the Force.

Eventually, Han saves Luke by stuffing him into the belly of a dead animal (completely disgusting!) for warmth. Once the storm passes, Luke and Han return to the rebel base, where they must avoid an Imperial attack, which serves as an introduction for the famous AT-AT mechs, which are basically giant walking tanks.

Why legs? They look cooler, I guess…

With the battle over, Luke goes to Dagobah, finding an exiled Yoda (you know, the little green guy that defeated Dooku) who agrees to teach him the ways of the Force. However, Luke leaves his training incomplete and returns to help his friends, who have ventured to Cloud City, an aptly named city floating in the clouds. But it’s a trap! Darth Vader has taken the city to capture them!

Darth Vader freezes Han in a carbonite block to test if the method of capture would work on Luke without killing him (thanks, dad!). With the aid of some new

Jedi powers, Luke engages in an intense battle against Darth Vader, with high-wire stunts that will have your toes curling if you’re afraid of heights, before finally discovering that Darth Vader is his father (hence the Darth Vader shirts asking “Who’s your daddy?”).

Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Han’s frozen carbonite is passed to another bad guy, but this time it’s an evil slug known as Jabba the Hutt (seriously, this guy is probably the most disgusting character in all of Star Wars. The dude eats frogs!).

Leia sneaks into Jabba’s palace and frees Han, only to be captured once again (good job, Leia!). Next, Luke gives Jabba the option to free his friends or die, but the floor opens up and Luke falls into a pit with a massive monster (great job, Luke!). Despite all odds, however, Luke is able to kill the beast, only to be captured once again (great job, again, Luke!). This time, he is about to be shoved into a gaping hole in the sand with razor sharp teeth. However, with help from R2-D2, Luke is able to acquire his lightsaber, while Han knocks the famous bounty hunter, Boba Fett, into the mouth of that same monster, and Leia chokes out Jabba with the chains she is shackled with.

Once they escape, however, a greater threat arises: the construction of a new Death Star is being completed over the planet of Endor, home to very fluffy, little teddy-bear-like warriors named Ewoks. Absolutely adorable, and they’ll kill you in the cutest way possible! With the help of these tiny creatures and a couple of hovering speeder bikes, the Rebels defeat the enemy on the ground despite being completely outnumbered.

Meanwhile, flying to the Death Star, Luke confronts Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader, refusing to fight until his father has a change of heart. Watching his son being tortured by Force lightning, Darth Vader makes a final choice to revert back to the light side of the Force, throwing Palpatine into a chasm to save Luke.

However, Palpatine’s Force lightning damages his suit, ultimately cutting off his life support. Removing the man’s helmet, Luke for the first time looks into his father’s true face to say his last words to his dying father. At last, peace is finally restored to the galaxy.

Or so they thought…

If you’ve made it this far, the next trilogy in the Star Wars universe is the Rey trilogy, which follows the story of a young peasant girl who learns that she has the Force. Additionally, feel free to look into any of the other additions to the Star Wars movies, such as Solo (which follows the early life of Han Solo), Rogue One, or The Mandalorian (Fun fact: the Mandalorian actually has the same cool armor as Boba Fett, just in a silver color).

Hopefully by now, your interest has been sparked, and you are just dying to find out what happens after all these movies. Personally, I think they are AMAZING, and hope you will become just as obsessed with them as I have. But for now, my young padawans, may the Force be with you.

29

A Sense of Self: What’s Happened to Our Imagination?

By Ananya Chag

It’s kind of funny. As starry-eyed children, we had the privilege of imagination. We could “dare to dream” our futures and conjure up the most wondrous of prospects. We dreamed of flying to the moon, becoming president of the United States, or inventing something amazing that the world would never forget. We were free from most reason or logic, the kind that can only be gained with age.

In this lovely time of innocence, we could imagine being the most perfect versions of ourselves and, in turn, expect the impossible. Like many, I liked this idea as a kid, but sadly, I wasn’t so original. I wanted to be president and make the national food ice cream. Even as I got older, when imagining myself at seventeen, I thought I’d be this super accomplished, put-together person. I anticipated I’d be presented with a scholarship to Harvard right about now — hello, where’s my letter?! (haha that’s laughable). It’s not that I’m unhappy with the person I am right now — I promise I answered above a five on the emotional wellness survey. But seriously, seven-year-old Ananya’s romanticized version of me would absolutely crush my self-esteem now. I’m not sure why I thought I’d be so flawless exactly, but sometimes my reasoning reveals itself when I take a look at my mindset at that age.

As kids, there was the obvious factor that we simply hadn’t developed our brains fully. We didn’t have a sufficient amount of knowledge or experience to tell us what we were and weren’t good at. We hadn’t 30

messed up at life yet. So, how were we supposed to discern the fact that we’re simply not perfect? How were we supposed to know that discovering a new galaxy isn’t something we’re likely to do? As kids, we were unabashedly unrealistic. I mean, who was actually going to tell us that most dreams don’t come true? Who was going to tell me that I could never wear my Harvard sweatshirt without a guilty con-

“So, how were we supposed to discern the fact that we’re simply not perfect?” science? After all, no one was asking us to make any important decisions.

In fact, this is what the age-old Western philosophy of empiricism teaches, that all knowledge comes from, and must be tested by, sensory experience. An empiricist would say that there are certain truths that exist, and it takes the “intellect” to grasp onto these truths. This applies perfectly in this case of “growing up.” As children, we would always imagine this perfect version of ourselves simply because we do not know any better. We are not familiar with ourselves

at such a young age. Our imaginations ran wild and free, with no restrictions. With time, rational thought usually overcomes imagination, and cracks in the pretty picture of perfection will start to appear. I guess I won’t get to be a princess? What a shame, I never even had my dream to become Princess Jasmine realized.

Aside from lack of sensory experience, as kids, we hadn’t had any consequences to our actions, which are usually the milestones that shape us as individuals. As I’ve already mentioned, with growing older, comes rational thought. However, with rational thought, comes disappointment. Because life becomes more and more important, and our day-to-day activities become integral to our future, we are more liable to make mistakes with this increased risk factor. If we don’t have good enough grades, oops! There goes good college opportunities! If we get fired from a job, oops! Looks like there’s no paycheck! We don’t have the privilege of imagination anymore because everything in front of us is reality. Children do not face reality in the way adults do. Because of this, anything up to interpretation doesn’t exist; imagination is gone, lost. Imagination is the brain doing what it does best, figuring things out and trying to make sense of

“Our imaginations ran wild and free, with no restrictions. With time, rational thought usually overcomes imagination, and cracks in the pretty picture of perfection will start to appear.”

“However, with rational thought, comes disappointment.” the world simultaneously. We lose that over time as we come into our own as individuals and grow into actual people.

However, I don’t think imagination is totally gone, of course. Everyone has a creative side that shows itself at times, but it’s probably not the same. We still have dreams as we get older, but they just become more realistic. So don’t think I’m trying to be entirely pessimistic here. Yeah, it’s kind of sad to think that our imagination, so prevalent as children, is changed forever. However, this loss of naivete is what takes us to the next phase of life.

Maybe imagination was there for a good reason when we were kids. We didn’t have morals developed yet, or a guiding purpose. Imagination and all those wondrous possibilities gave us that sense of purpose. Anyway, I’m starting to sound really philosophical, so I’m going to wrap up with this: it’s important to discern fantasy from reality, and it’s also equally important to keep the balance of creativity and logic. The childhood sparkle may have faded, but what remains is our realistic imagination that helps us achieve our goals as adults.

31

PARTIALLY P

NG OFF

UTTI

Procrastinating is not the end of the world

By Rhett Andrews Your Way is Wrong You need to change the way that you approach school.

Whatever you’re doing, it’s probably wrong. You might be like me and put off every assignment until the realization hits you that it could destroy your grade (or make your head editor angry). Or you might be the complete opposite and get everything done the minute it’s assigned, causing a lack of downtime on weeknights. Either way, you have some tweaking to do, and you need to find out which way of doing schoolwork is best for you.

My Way Seems to Work I have put off every single essay this year until the day it was due, which is not a new study habit for me. The earliest time I procrastinated, as far as I can remember,

32

is clock-reading homework in the car on the way to kindergarten. Racing through Mrs. Katsanis’s homework on the ten-minute drive to Pinewood was the best way to finish my homework, I thought. The latest instance of procrastination that I can remember is writing this article. Here I am in my public speaking class writing this rough draft that was assigned a week ago while simultaneously thinking about world history readings on colonialism, precalc homework about matrices, and a science project on Schrödinger.

For some, procrastinating so often would be impossible to even consider, but I think waiting to do my homework actually helps me get my work done. A week ago, I would not have been able to sit down and type four hundred words about partially putting off work because I wouldn’t have had a time crunch motivating me. So, I often use this time crunch to help me through the assignment.

I Need to Fix My Way And yet, I do have a serious procrastination problem. Although I got that homework done for Mrs. Katsanis, the entire drive to school was so stressful.

And just yesterday, I had a science test (1st period Monday), but I didn’t have a whole lot of time to study for it over the weekend. Instead, I woke up at 6:30 and studied until around 9:00. I’m aware that that’s not healthy… The impending horror of the test worked its way into my dreams all night because, instead of studying, I texted a friend of mine for two hours about Star Wars and ended up going to

bed around 1:00, hardly looking at a lick of chemistry.

I know I need to fix my study habits. I should be spreading out my studies over the course of three or four days and conferencing with my teachers about my essays, not waking up early on the due date to do homework and being stressed the whole night.

Try Out New Strategies When I think of my polar opposite study-habit-wise, I think of Mills Long. In a Friday study hall, he asked if I had done some question on the science homework that was assigned on Thursday, to which I replied, “of course not.” He typically does well on tests and essays, has free time, and has a smaller amount of homework hanging over his head than I do–sounds like the perfect scenario, right?

So I tried it.

Honestly, I liked it at first. Finishing some homework right after school left me more time to watch TV at night. I tried to further it by not watching TV at all one night and getting work done instead so that for the next couple days I had no homework left. But it got to the point where, when we went over math homework or a reading assignment in class, I had hardly any recollection of what we were talking about.

Like people who read summer reading in June and can’t remember it months later, it had been a week since I read those pages, and I was several chapters ahead of where we were supposed to be. So how could I possibly keep my facts straight? Mills’s methods did not work for me, but neither do mine.

Find The Sweet Spot “Whatever works works” is what I’ve come to accept, but every year my teachers tell me that putting off work will catch up to me, especially one of my homeroom teachers in middle school. She saw that I had made edits on Google Docs, writing lab corrections at two or three am, and she would bring it up the next day and at quarterly conferences, but it never did anything. So far, it hasn’t caught up with me, but I’ve had way too many scares.

In previous years, I’ve put off math and science studying until the morning of the assessment; English, history, and Latin studying has often been left until the night before. Let me be the first to say this: do not put off eighty pages of Strayer readings until the night before. It is a horrible, terrible, God-awful idea. Split them up.

“How do I do that?” you ask. I’m sorry, but I’m still trying to figure that out too. I would say to use flashcards, drink water, listen to music, yadda yadda yadda, but you know that. Find what works best for you through trial and error. I’m not a person who does work way ahead of time, and Mills isn’t a procrastinator, both of which are completely fine. I’ve found the sweet spot for me; while I’m not finishing a book a month early, I’m also not reading it the night before. You might be able to spread an essay out over two days, or you might really need a week to avoid extreme stress. Either way, I wish you the best of luck as you embark on your time-management journey.

Sincerely, Second-Revisions Rhett at 1:06 am

Artwork by David Axon

33

Ditching the Quarantine Blues Brief Reviews of Quarantine To-Do’s

By Burke Thompson

Have you just awakened from a three-hour boredom nap? Tired despite doing literally nothing all day?

Beginning to romanticize the other side of your house? Been stuck in the same room for ten days straight?

Missing being able to scramble your own eggs?

If some of these apply to you, you might be in quarantine! Further symptoms include: exhaustion, boredom, general discontent, emotional reliance on YouTube, and further boredom. Don’t worry, I know how it feels.

Especially the eggs bit.

The age of quarantine has flipped many of our personal concepts of time yolk-side down. You’re bored, you’ve been bored, and you will be bored, and prime-time is all the time. I’ve compiled a list of some of the all-time greatest quarantine pastimes.

DISCLAIMER: This list is completely and utterly true, and all subsequent ratings are based on intense empirical analysis. This list is objective and non-negotiable. As such, the metrics used to assess each activity took into account a combination of the enjoyment in doing the activity, its usefulness, and how effectively the activity alleviates boredom. The list is the truth.

Trying to Figure out if It’s COVID or Not: (0.0)

Did you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning? Or are you participating in the hottest trend of 2019-2021? Do you just need to take Advil?

Or, perhaps, to endure a swab flirting with your frontal lobe? The suspense is unbearable, both to you and all of your favorite close contacts.

I have to say, this might be the worst of quarantine pastimes, both because it lacks inherent entertainment value and because the stress of a positive outcome can be immense. This was counted as a pastime because so many people have had to endure it, but know that if you are or have been in this situation, you are not alone.

Goes best with social isolation.

34

Working Out: (9.2/10)

Though some exercising requires a certain amount of equipment, working out is possibly the most rewarding of all quarantine pastimes. Health benefits, better sleep, and maybe the ever-elusive gains await those willing to endure obnoxious tutorial videos.

Negatives include the process of actually working out, e.g. enduring the pain of pull-ups and being unable to walk properly after one-legged squats. Perhaps try to avoid the gym, however, as this might heighten your risk of catching the virus.

I speak from experience, having almost certainly gotten the virus from one. This activity is highly recommended, especially if you have access to a health room. Even a garage works. Or empty floor space. The world is your workout mat if you’re brave enough, and nobody ever said filled milk jugs or backpacks full of textbooks couldn’t be dumbbells.

Reading: (7.2)

This one’s for those who haven’t destroyed their attention spans over the break with their app-etites.

Though good books can sometimes be hard to find, reading is great if you want to improve your writing while entertaining yourself. Unfortunately, reading has fallen out of vogue in the modern day due to stark competition with other, more accessible forms of entertainment like binging Netflix shows or watching the same movie for the eighth time.

(Just don’t involve your parents or ask Mr. Greenwell, or else you’ll end up with 2,000 pages of slightly esoteric writing. I speak from experience.)

Daydreaming about What Could’ve Been: (Hits Different/10)

Ah, to think about what COVID has taken from you.

Maybe you could’ve been watching a movie with friends, completely unaware of the forty people sitting around you in close proximity, maskless. Perhaps you would’ve toured downtown Charleston, taking in the sights and wading through crowds at the Farmers’ Market or at that restaurant you’ve been dying to try out. Maybe you wouldn’t have spent a full work week’s worth of time watching Grey’s Anatomy or Attack on Titan last week.

Thinking about what could’ve been is a slippery slope; one moment you’re wishing you could go to a concert, the next you’re convinced you would’ve been a millionaire married to your celebrity crush.

Sessions last anywhere from thirty seconds to twenty minutes, depending on how bored you are.

Overall, a solid option for the intellectual types or for those looking for that feeling of superiority they’ve been lacking. Perhaps you could pick up Game of Thrones or browse The New York Times bestseller list for a new favorite. Ask a teacher for a recommendation.

35

Mindlessly Opening the Same Three Apps Over and Over: (3.5)

Biggest waste of time. Ever. Since last year’s fall from normalcy, there’s been something distinctly alluring about laying on a bed or couch and opening an app, opening up another one, switching back to the first app, and finally opening another before succumbing to boredom yet again.

But the allure of THAT purple camera or the ever entrancing blue-and-red quarter note is so great, and the pull of wasting hours on the Explore page can sometimes be too much to bear. Everyone’s done this at least once (per day) during quarantine and probably regrets not spending the time doing something more productive.

The good news is that everyone can pick their poison when it comes to which apps they choose, so choose wisely. Inevitable downsides include never being able to move those apps to different places (muscle memory will make you click that location for days after moving it. After all, the thumb wants what it wants) and decaying attention span.

Listening to Music, Learning an Instrument: (8.3)

Music is an insight to who you are as a person. Don’t believe me? Compare your playlist now to what it was four years ago. You’ll either cringe or remember the good ol’ days of middle school. Either way, listening to music is a great reliever of the quarantine blues, no pun intended. During quarantine, there are two ways to listen to music: you either listen to the same songs

36

over and over, or you make ten different playlists which never seem to have the right aesthetic.

For those looking to go a bit further, the extra time provided by quarantine has allowed many particularly artsy students to pick up guitar, much to the chagrin of parents everywhere.

Downsides of learning an instrument include having to suffer through your playing at the beginning and family members stopping by your room to tell you that “It sounds great!”

Video Games: (6.0-9.0, depending) Whatever your parents might say, gaming has become one of the most accessible and safe ways to have fun with friends during quarantine. Gaming has become more socially acceptable than ever, and quarantinemandated isolation has only accelerated its proliferation.

Though the label “gamer” may still induce a collective cringe, many social norms that used to ostracize gamers have disappeared, contributing to the influx of players.

Fewer pastimes have a more divided community, and the ever-present console wars and the divide between PC and console players have already left their mark on internet culture and on players in general.

All it takes is an internet connection, a reliable piece of hardware [e.g., anything but a phone], and a few friends.

Just don’t play League of Legends. Trust me.

Quarantine activities are a sign of the times. Nobody really knows what’s going on or what will happen tomorrow, so it’s important to keep the brighter things in life in mind. Quarantine really can be a time to improve yourself because, after all: What else are you going to do?

37

No Passion, No Person.

Stop Doing Things Just for College Apps!

By Sophie Levenson People are essentially formed out of passion. Passion for who they love, what they do, how they live; passion for their convictions and for their beliefs. A human being without some semblance of passion must be a cloudy and strange person, living without any sense of true being. But “passion” does not have to be that neargaudy fervor mindlessly assigned to artists, geniuses, and politicians—no, it can be any sort of flame that lights up a body and gives it a soul.

To live without passion is to heartlessly go through motions that one ought to perform with vigor and purpose; it is, truly, to be robotic—and worse, to rob that action of its integrity. If writers wrote just to be published, and artists drew just to be framed, their work would hold no beauty, no merit. Art is born from those who create it with the full dedication of their minds and hearts, or from those who simply appreciate the beauty of art and creativity—or as Oscar Wilde would put it: “art for art’s sake.” Creations that exist only to seek credit can barely be creations at all.

A person’s time as a teenager is known as his or her “formative years” for a reason. These are the moments we must use to turn ourselves into three-dimensional people. Things such as hobbies, interests, beliefs, convictions, perspective, character, and integrity are what make up a person. AP classes and the volume of extracurricular activities do not. Our collective generational perspective is warped—we base the idea of what a human being is off of standards that are truly absurd, like grades and resumes. We cannot base vital ideas, such as self-worth and character, off of the same qualifications that colleges want to evaluate. They are entirely different criteria and should thus be judged in entirely different fashions.

One of the major problems with this collegiate standard is the pressure for high school students to be involved in activities that “look good” on a resume.

When people pursue things for the wrong reasons, these things tend not to turn out as well as they should.

Some projects are simply not worth pursuing if the agent lacks passion, for it is passion that turns plans Unfortunately, modern scholastic culture has forced into action and words into movements. A group or the vast majority of us into dispassionate habits like organization composed of dispassionate members these. In order to achieve our lofty goals of going to would never succeed practically—members would top-notch, high-ranked, world-renowned colleges and lack dedication and commitment, and ultimately, universities, we take part in activities and courses that their mission would fall to pieces. And they probably neither pique our interest nor concern our lives at all. wouldn’t even mind—they can still write “nonprofit Why should a student who abhors math and has no organization” on their application and send it in plans to pursue it, join the math team? Why should a to be scrutinized and likely accepted by the harsh student who cannot stand to code, be a part of Cyber but realistically unwitting employees at college Security? Why should the busiest student on campus admissions offices. Sure, maybe you never attended without any desire to lead, run to be on the student a single meeting hosted by the Save the World council?

Organization, but your name is on the sign-up sheet, so who cares? And so it goes for the mental monopoly The answer to those questions is too often, “college that is the hyper-competitive college application apps.” That is not a valid answer. Our generation seems process. to be resigning itself to a state of near inhumanity, for we have chosen to prioritize achievement over interest, This impending danger—the danger of falsity, of resumes over hobbies, and checklists over personality. synthetic personalities—simply goes to show that the 38

activities we choose to involve ourselves in should not only be ones that we genuinely care about, but also ones that we believe will assist our development as individuals. Insincere participation benefits nobody and simply dries up the soul, depriving it of those endeavors that it would truly, eagerly absorb for the sake of its own growth. And none of us, I should think, want a dried-up, raisin-esque soul.

All of this being said, there is nothing wrong in being involved in an abundance of things. It is simply a matter of which things one chooses to involve oneself in. There is nothing to be faulted in trying new activities—in fact, expanding one’s comfort zone and experimenting with newfound pursuits is an admirable endeavor—one that can absolutely build and develop character. But there is a stark difference between stepping out of a comfort zone and adopting a pretense of interest just to fill out another line on an Ivy League application.

So yes, “trying new things” is important, particularly in the early years of high school. But if those “new things” are dabbled in for the wrong reasons, the problem persists. Applying to be on the student council because you want to learn more about

leadership is significantly distinct from applying because you need a resume filler.

And what of charity? What of community service?

What does it mean for us to do such things in a false fashion? Though I doubt that any one of them would admit it, there certainly exists a large population of students in this generation who perform acts of service for an ironically self-serving purpose: to put, once again, on their college resumes. It may seem uncomfortable to discuss, but why else would it be that so many students find themselves considerably more enraptured with philanthropy when it involves a school project, than when it does not? If it is not for the benefit of service hours or school recognition, why is service so frequently performed only within the confinements of a school’s service program?

Again, there is a flip side to this coin, as there is for all ambivalent situations of integrity. Students who genuinely care about their communities and pursue service projects with dedication and real passion would find it strange to decline to receive credit. But one cannot deny that the system remains problematic.

Philanthropy is meant to be performed selflessly, to as far an extent as human nature will allow

Artwork by Nathaniel Ford 39

selflessness to exist. Does the obviously beneficial output that comes from charity justify the perhaps insincere intentions? Or do those intentions simply strip young people of their sense of decency? If schools took away rewards like logged hours and recognition assemblies, the question arises about whether students would even bother to continue to involve themselves in service programs and events—and selfish or not, service is needed in all communities. As a result, the question of charitable sincerity is practically irreconcilable, but nonetheless vitally significant in the course of understanding ourselves and our world.

40

but he would likely be just as enthusiastic a man, and just as dedicated to bees and books, if he had decided to be an investment banker or clothing store cashier.

I do think that the fault ultimately lies within the modern education system, and not in the students themselves. Still, even if we are not fully responsible for the corruption of our young years, we nonetheless must be the ones to stitch up the mess. We must ensure that passion—and, by extension, humanity—is not forgotten.

We all have the unique opportunity of getting to Ultimately, a young person who is willing to become people—unique in the sense that every sacrifice what is essentially his personality to get individual gets to take the opportunity down his or into a specific college woefully, tragically, misleads her own path. We have a given number of years to himself. We do not exist to go to school. Or to have live our lives in a distinctive fashion as distinctive jobs. On the contrary, we go to school—in theory— individuals. How do we do this, though? so that we can exist with more expansive minds.

Oddly enough, centers of education were not Well, let’s build a person. founded so that people could put their names on job applications, but rather for the purpose of learning, We start with a body, of course. Pick your gender, for the pursuit of wisdom. And jobs are supposed pick your hair color, pick the shape of your nose to do something for society, not just for our bank and the length of your limbs. These things are mere accounts. Strange, how these things work. facts, of course. They lay the groundwork upon which we can build something real.

But apparently it is a common misconception amongst too many of us—older generations Now, let’s wire the mind, the heart—the included—that we exist and live purely to do well foundations of the soul. Connect heartstrings academically and then in our chosen occupations. to someone or something; make them weak or Jobs are not reflective of existence—or at least, powerful. Does our person love easily? Does she not most of the time. For example, Mr. Lipka, have a hard time opening up? Does he get scared as we all are well aware, is a Latin teacher, and during horror movies? Does she talk too much? quite a remarkable one at that. I would assume Does he like the cold? Love the summer? Does he that Mr. Lipka chose to be a Latin teacher because see the world as good or evil? Does she believe in of his love for the language and passion for God, in the Universe, or in nothing at all? imparting knowledge. His occupation, therefore, is rather reflective of himself in that it exhibits his Then, most importantly of all: what do they love? interests and talents and passion, and he is lucky Who are they? (as are his students) to have found a job that suits him so well. But there are so many wondrously What are they passionate about? unique individuals in the world whose jobs, or lack thereof, say very little about who they are as What are you passionate about? people. If Mr. Lipka decides at some point—likely in the near future, given his declining age—to retire If we can answer this question, your person can from his position as a Latin teacher, he would not come to life. The heart can start beating; steadily be any less of who he is today. Of course, being a pulsing with the vigor of a real human being. teacher has certainly contributed to his character and served as a notable experience in his life, Build your person. Not your resume.

Artwork by Nathaniel Ford 41

The Lessons of Julius Waties Waring: A moral reckoning for the United States, Charleston, and Porter-Gaud

Thurgood Marshall expected to lose.

United States District Court Judge J. Waties Waring had a reputation of stern, cold judicial temperament, providing the future Supreme Court Justice little hope that Waring would dissent from the Southern, segregationist judges that he had encountered.

The already renowned Thurgood Marshall felt confident about the case’s merits: Viola Louise Duvall had received the highest teaching certificate possible yet received an annual compensation of $645 compared to white teachers with the same credentials who earned a minimum of $1100. Yet this case, like countless others tried in the American South in the nineteen-forties, was at the behest of white, male judges inclined to support the oppressive regime that had enabled them to succeed.

Peter W. Beck

When the hearing began over an equal pay dispute between Charleston’s Burke High School and Viola Louise Duvall, Marshall’s fears began to materialize.

Judge Waring asked the attorney representing Burke High School the dates of several past trials pertaining to unequal teacher pay disparities along racial lines. The attorney hesitated, and Marshall, who had represented several of the same cases, swiftly moved to answer. However, when Marshall made his move, the judge silenced him. Incredulous that the judge refused to allow him to speak, Marshall’s mind pivoted to planning his filing for an appeal. Then, another surprise happened: Judge Waring apologized to Marshall; Waring wanted to know how long Burke High School and the Charleston County School District had known that African-American teachers were entitled to equal wages, as decided by past precedent.

Judge Waring then ordered Burke High School to offer Viola Louise Duvall the appropriate salary.

Thurgood Marshall’s jaw dropped. The hearing had lasted only fifteen minutes.

On paper, one would not have expected that Julius Waties Waring would change the course of civil rights. The son of a Confederate officer, Waring was a member of a family that epitomized the aristocratic society in Charleston, South Carolina. Except for an African-American nanny–his family’s former slave–Waring would have had limited contact with minority communities as he practiced law and rose to prominence amongst Charleston’s hierarchy. Despite this, he became South Carolina’s most prominent jurist: one who provided Thurgood Marshall with the legal basis for the landmark collection of cases entitled Brown v. Board of Education, and bestowing upon the state a silver lining in its appalling history of civil rights abuses.

42

Appointed to the United States District Court

by President Franklin Roosevelt, Waring issued rulings that transformed the Jim Crow South. Threatened with social exile, Waring remained unwavering in his commitment to morality and equitable jurisprudence.

The history of desegregation would be unrecognizable were it not for Waring’s resolve for justice. Judge Waring’s life offers an alternative to serving as a bystander in a corrupt, oppressive regime–even if you are the beneficiary of it.

-- Our nation and its progress over the past several centuries contributed to the greatness and success of humankind. We have every right to be proud of those accomplishments and our political ideals that have bonded us together. However, we must also accept our past transgressions and realize that we are not absolved of our past sins, nor have they entirely washed away.

The history of this city, state, and country will forever be tainted. Since its founding, the United States has championed noble ideals such as justice, equality, opportunity, and liberty–and, upon its founding and ever since, it has failed. We cannot ignore the irrevocable harm our forefathers caused in their pursuit of political and social dominance, whether it be over other genders, sexes, or races.

Despite their undeniable good deeds, our nation’s framers–who were overwhelmingly male and white– dictated a system that pervasively stripped other people of the same rights they sought to endow in themselves.

We are still in a city, state, country, and society that is imperfect and unjust. We are still members of a community that subjugates those not in power to an inferior status. One only needs to walk around downtown Charleston to realize the grip the Civil War, racism, and inequity still has over our culture.

We need to begin to accept that our school and its founder bear, too, marks of these original sins.

-- The moral wrongs and inherent human rights abuses of slavery scourge the most prestigious of

our institutions: from the White House to Princeton University, the American story of success and society is attributable to the enslavement of an entire race.

Schools and universities throughout the country have histories rooted in oppression and untouchable privilege. Therefore, it is our place and responsibility to be forthright in examining the history of PorterGaud School, both for its feats and failures. Our school, like any, is fallible and imperfect; there have been undeniably egregious misactions taken by past administrations that have harmed the school’s community and repute. Yet, I, as well as many other students, attend this school because of the progress it has made. We believe in the overarching ethos of the school: that faith, honor, and a morally devoted pedagogy is intrinsic to a preparatory college education.

The stereotype of Porter-Gaud – that its halls are filled with entitled students – causes me to shudder; this school’s culture and community supersede the erroneous notion that its classrooms are replete with amoral, opulent kids. Yet, it is this institution and its members’ privilege that we must earnestly admit to in order to have a meaningful conversation about past wrongs and necessary changes. We take no pleasure in reexamining this but see it as our moral obligation and one that adheres to the values of our school.

The intention of this piece is not to provoke tensions but to promote a greater conversation about Porter-Gaud and American history. Interpreting the words and actions of any historical figure requires detailed examination and acknowledgment of their context. Like everyone’s, the story of Dr. Anthony Porter, our school’s founder, reflects fallibility: he was human and lived neither in pure virtue nor total vice but in a grey area. He contributed to many acts of charity, such as founding – and funding – here in Charleston a school for freed slaves, to be helmed by a northern abolitionist; founding the Holy Communion Church Institute that would later become Porter Military Academy; leading an African-American congregation; and establishing a vocational school for women. The time of the Reverend Dr. Porter’s life occurred far removed from modern-day society and its morals. He could, perhaps, be considered an outlier or even forward-thinker for his age of Reconstruction in South Carolina. We must, however, recognize his 43

wrongdoings’ existence and resist the urge to gloss over them; just as Dr. Porter’s good deeds represent our school’s history, so too do his transgressions.

At this moment in American history, it is the responsibility of the Porter-Gaud community to discern and judge Dr. Porter’s statements regarding his role in slavery in the United States. The following quotes are but two examples from Dr. Porter’s autobiography Led On. They do not offer a whole picture but yet an important glimpse of Dr. Porter’s beliefs about the role of slavery, Christianity, and his stance on the inequities between the races.

“I could not help it that I was a slave-holder.

I was born to it, and inherited it. It had come to my ancestors from the English, and afterwards from the cupidity of residents in the Eastern States. I do not believe there is anywhere on record, that the slave trade was carried on by Southern people. I do not say this by way of reproach; as I have said before, those who brought and those who bought them lived up to the light of their day, and God, who oversees the wickedness of man, made it the greatest missionary

work ever done by man. Not five hundred thousand naked African savages were brought over to America before the trade had stopped, and had they remained in Africa, if they had not been eaten by the king of Dahomey, their descendants would be naked African savages still. Whereas the descendants of those five hundred thousand number eight millions at the present day, of whom two thirds are professing Christians.”

“I love the African race, and think they are the most wonderful people (talking all their history) of the present day, and yet, I believe they are an inferior type of men, and the mass of them will be hewers of wood and drawers of water till the end of time--at the least, to the end of many generations. Do for them as we will, a black man will never be a white one.”

-- The moral education provided by Porter-Gaud – whether in the form of Virtue Vouchers in the Lower School or the Honor Pledge in the Upper School – instills in its students a commitment to decency. It is something that none of its students should take for granted, whether in the form of academic honesty or forthrightness about our history. The fate of our school and how we grapple with our founder and homeland’s iniquities falls to this community. We can opt to ignore and neglect these statements, attributing them to a distant and disparate time, or we can learn and confront them as we – with the rest of America – seek to rectify our forefathers’ wrongs.

As cited, this is but a glimpse of Dr. Porter, whose many creditable deeds are well documented but whose sins have largely gone neglected. Yes, Dr. Porter lived in an era defined by racism and unrecognizable values, but so too did Judge Waring: our knowledge and morals today compel us to act.

I believe the life of Judge Waring, his persistence and willingness to prioritize what he knew to be right, provides a model for aspiring young adults. As a school, we do not have to jeopardize everything that embodies Porter-Gaud.

We can follow Judge Waring’s path: growing from our history, not letting it define us, but allowing it to enable us as forces of virtue.

44

Judge J. Waties Waring

45

Future Nostalgia the curious conundrum of reckoning with the untouchable nature of a memory

Avery Crymes

46

How do you look back upon your most treasured memories? With nostalgia? With sadness? With frustration? With Welsh hiraeth1? Memories are a curious thing. You’re constantly making them; some from as recent as this morning fade almost instantly while the one day you spent painting rocks at your grandmother’s house remains clear as glass years after those rocks were shoved into a drawer somewhere. Memories are terrible to reckon with and completely left up to the hands of time and fate. No one gets to choose which memories float away into their subconscious and which ones become core aspects of their personality and existence. Yet somehow, it is these awful, awful spoonfuls of unattainable yet certain happiness that inspire authors, artists, and the average human being to create mementos reminding themselves of the good old days, and cause them to daydream themselves into a stupor longing for the past.

The past few months have forced me to become painfully aware of the status of my memories, specifically of those that I associate with childhood joy, excitement, sadness, or anger. I think that it’s incredibly important to dwell not just upon the positive memories, but the negative ones as well.

You obviously associated a negative emotion with these experiences for a reason, and the passion that motivated you to feel angered or sad about an experience is an important aspect of your personality; the things that you love, hate, and react strongly to make up you and your personality. As my fellow classmates and I rapidly approach the last day of this class, the last day of that class, and eventually graduation day, the process of looking back upon our own past experiences as we watch the freshmen, sophomores, and even juniors experience these

things without giving them a second thought is practically unavoidable. Anyone who claims they haven’t given the last almost four years a second thought is either lying or hasn’t let it sink in quite yet. Whether you spent all four at Porter-Gaud or transferred here a year, two years, or even three years into high school, this is where you are now.

You enter a timehonored trap when you begin ninth grade; they tell you time and time again that the four years you spend in high school will fly by; you don’t believe them, and then, inevitably, the nostalgia hits you.

My memories from the past four years, including not only those made at Porter-Gaud, but also with my friends outside of school, at my favorite places, and doing my favorite things, have had an incredible impact on the person that I have become today. You enter a time-honored trap when you begin ninth grade; they tell you time

1

Hiraeth is a Welsh word for longing or nostalgia, an earnest longing or desire, or a sense of regret.

The feeling of longing for a home that no longer exists or never was. A deep and irrational bond felt with a time, era, place or person

47

and time again that the four years you spend in high school will fly by; you don’t believe them, and then, inevitably, the nostalgia hits you. During philosophy class, as you sit in the same room you sat in to take your first midterm exam back in ninth grade; during your final state swim meet, when you walk back to your teammates after your very last race of your high school swimming career, when you’re deleting old pictures off of your phone and stumble upon one taken of a list written on a whiteboard detailing the things you need to remember to review before your Chemistry test next Tuesday. There’s no controlling it. And what’s even worse is that not all of those memories that come flooding back are happy ones. When your Snapchat memory from a year ago today pops up on your phone and it’s a picture of your AP Physics review sheet from 1:37 A.M. the morning of the test, you don’t immediately start to wistfully daydream about your days as a budding physicist. Sorry, Mrs. Downing. When you hear Van Morrison’s “Summertime in England”, the peacefulness of the song is immediately lost on you and replaced by a sad longing to revisit the days as a sophomore in Mr. Moore’s F period Honors English class, listening to that song with the lights off on one of Mr. Moore’s classic random whims.

I believe that it is truly impossible to look back upon a happy moment from the past without jealousy; if you aren’t finding yourself impossibly longing for a place and time to which you can never return, was it even that wonderful to begin with?

I believe that the lesson here is that you need to start appreciating the euphoria you feel when jumping off of the diving board on what seems like an endless summer afternoon, or when sitting next to your best friends on the couch watching Mamma Mia for the thousandth time, feeling as if there will always be a next Mamma Mia movie night. The simple way to prevent, or at least lessen, the hard hitting sadness that envelops you when you realize you are in a state of longing for something wonderful that you can never have again, is to make a concerted effort to firstly recognize a good moment while you’re in it, and then do your best to really think hard about how the moment makes you feel and to appreciate the happiness or excitement that the moment brings.

The good memories are just truly the better ones to focus on, one would assume.

But, lo and behold, they’re tainted too.

I believe that it is truly impossible to look back upon a happy moment from the past without jealousy.

The good memories are just truly the better ones to focus on, one would assume.

But, lo and behold, they’re tainted too.

48

But if that’s the solution, then what are you supposed to do about living in the moment? How can you live in what you know to be a good or fleeting moment when you’re already thinking about how you’ll never experience that exact moment again and are desperately trying to freeze the feeling of the moment in your mind?

The other important lesson that comes with appreciate the fact that you have your hands on learning how to appreciate your memories is a block and that you get to race again and again learning how to enjoy making them. Learning and again...today. You won’t always be this fast how to let go of the past and future and to simply let every second come to you is difficult, but transformative. And you’ll know when you’ve switched from planning mode to living mode.

You can’t necessarily do it on purpose, and that is perhaps what marks its arrival; the fact that you are no longer aware of anything that doesn’t pertain to that particular moment. It’s a passive switch with active results.

But it becomes difficult and stressful to try and simultaneously enjoy remembering happy travels and times with friends while being intentful and purposeful in whatever activity you’re doing at the same time with a different set of friends.

Of course, attempting to appreciate what you recognize to be what will become a happy memory isn’t completely hopeless. While it may seem to serve little purpose in the moment, you can’t ignore the lesson we learned when everything shut down a little over a year ago: it’s important to appreciate what you have before it becomes impossible to get back.

Memories are far more powerful than you might imagine. So, give them a chance to be powerful; accept the nostalgia. Listen to “Time Bomb” and “Heat Waves” and “Take a Walk” and “May I Have This Dance” over and over again because they remind you of every single sunburnt, sticky, perfect moment spent at Parkshore Pool last summer. Wear the t-shirt with black mascara stains on the right sleeve that you cried into after returning from a trip to find out that it had become time to put down the fluffy orange cat you’d grown up seeing every day. Squeeze the sides of the light pink plastic container of baby powder sitting on your grandmother’s vanity table and let some of the white dusting powder’s scent, the one you’ve always associated with your grandmother, float into the air and remind you of what it smelled like to walk into her bathroom as a child. When you’re gasping for air on what seems like your hundredth sprint, poised on the starting block at the pool,

Give yourself intricately detailed keys to unlock your most prized daydreams. or agile. Sure, you could become more so, but the success you felt right that second as you sprung from the block is irreplaceable. Let the taste of your mom’s Lebanese salad remind you of making it and other dinners and desserts with her when you were little. Everyone knows that even the best, most exact recipe rarely produces an outcome that tastes the same every time; savor the good ones.

Take one last glance back at the sun setting on the beach after the most perfect day spent swimming and eating watermelon and getting sunburnt comes to a close. Even if you return time and time again to this same spot on the beach, it’ll never look the same. Let your eyes drink in the warm sand, the rolling waves, the sun shining over the water, allow your memory to recharge. Give yourself intricately detailed keys to unlock your most prized daydreams.

You have to approach memories carefully. Give them too much strength and you will helplessly drown in their elusivity; refuse to ever dwell on the past and you will forever lose the times you once considered the best of your life. As some of the best and worst parts of life, your memories define you. So make your memories.

And make them count.

49

SENIORS 2021

50

The watch magazine would like to congratulate

the Class of 2021

for all their accomplishments in what has been a truly unique year.

51

As they venture into retirement, the watch bids a fond farewell (for now) to a few of our favorite folks...

MS Science Department

Ms. Jane Settle, Our Own Mother Nature For twenty-five years, one teacher has almost singlehandedly brought us closer to all creatures great and small.

Not even the Wild Kratts can say that.

Jane (Ms. Settle) was my mentor when I started at PG 12 years ago, but in that time she has become so much more to me. A friend, a collaborator, a shoulder to cry on, an aid with Cub Scouts, a willing participant in any adventure and an ever positive presence in all situations. She has weathered many storms and always maintained her optimism and enthusiasm. Her passion for life science and the environment has influenced so many, including my son, and my 8th graders always want to know if we are going to study animals like they did with Ms. Settle! She is patient, encouraging and genuinely invested in developing in her students a deep understanding and love of the world they live in. She constantly seeks out new ways to bring the oceans and animals into her room, so her students can experience them first hand and connect with scientists too. She has been an inspiration to so many students and colleagues, and I will miss her dearly!

-Amy Flynn It’s not often that someone like Jane Settle comes along in life. When it does happen, it usually takes a lifetime of reflection to bring their impact into sharp relief. This will be true of Jane, not just for me, but for the countless students lucky enough to have moved through her classroom. I asked my 6th grade study hall recently to recount some of their 52favorite moments in her class, and my pen simply couldn’t

keep up. This has been the case in every year since I was lucky enough to join her in 2007 (and I’m sure in every year prior). Her passion for and knowledge of the natural world is unsurpassed, and, as a fellow 6th grade teacher, I feel the impact she’s having on a daily basis. Jane seamlessly traverses the roles of teacher, colleague, mentor, friend, sister, and mother for all in her path. Best of all, you don’t have to choose just one. I will miss her more than words can tell but expect to have my seat reserved in the grand adventure that surely awaits!

-Daniel Jordan

Jungle, aka Ms. Settle, is my beloved friend and colleague. We share a common friend group—The Ocean Girls—a large group of women who work in the ocean sciences here in Charleston.

Ms. Settle and I both practiced science outside of the classroom before we brought our love of science into the classroom to share with the next generation of scientists. Ms. Settle is the embodiment of unconditional love for her friends and students.

Whether you’re having a good day or a bad one, she loves you just the same. Her curiosity and zeal for the natural world, particularly our local marine habitats, inspire those in her classroom to follow her lead. Ms. Settle’s genuine interest in the well-being of those around her makes everyone better, and her cheerful greetings will be missed in these hallways.

-Jennifer Clair

I first met Jane (Ms. Settle) when I moved to Charleston in the early 2000s and was fortunate to be her oldest daughter’s advisor. She was so welcoming as I made my transition from teaching and living in Atlanta to teaching and living in Charleston. Jane is always quick to lend a helping hand or offer advice on any situation.

While I do not teach in her department, her love for science and her students is more than apparent.

Aside from our professional relationship, she has been a dear friend to me. She truly cares about my family and frequently asks about my children. Jane did not hesitate to come and support my family and me, bringing food and a shoulder to cry on, when my daughter was three years old and hospitalized. This is just one small example of the impact that Jane has had on not only me, but also her PG colleagues. She will be missed on campus, but I am certain that her welldeserved retirement will be filled with special time with family, friends, and her animal pals!

-Kelly Campbell

Ms. Settle was one of the first teachers that I met when I came to work at Porter-Gaud many years ago, and it was immediately clear how beloved she is. Students leave her classroom forever changed by “Jungle Jane and Peggy” and even my senior students talk about how much they loved learning from her. Ms. Settle loves her sixth grade students so much that she even comes to the JV swim meets to cheer them on! We are a better faculty for having Ms. Settle as a shining example of excellence and Porter will not be the same without her.

-Meagan Downing Ms. Settle exudes a love for the natural world each and every day that is matched by her care for her students.

Whether watching the behavior of bald eagles through a webcam or holding snakes in her classroom, students experience the science of life in Ms. Settle’s sixth grade classroom. I’ve personally witnessed alumni return to Porter to tell Ms. Settle how she inspired them and how they have pursued a career in science based on the seeds she planted in them in middle school. We are all more fortunate to have had Ms. Settle fostering a passion for science in countless Cyclones over the years.

-Caitlin Adelson

53

I was in awe of Jane Settle the first time I met her. She had this energy about her that was completely contagious, and I knew she had also once worked at DNR like myself.

I idolized her and I wanted to teach science just like her.

She cares so much about the subject, education, and also about every single child that she encounters. She will honestly do anything for anyone and any animal at any time. I don’t know how her chest even fits a heart that big.

I’ve always said when a long-time teacher at PG leaves then they take a part of the school with them. I vow to do all I can to channel her energy and passion for science and for helping others for all the rest of my years at PG, in her honor. She leaves behind quite a legacy and we will miss her very much.

-Gretchen Tate

Those of us who work with Jane know that when there’s a musical, an athletic event, or an outside gig by one of our talented faculty members, she will provide support in the audience with the loudest applause and laughter (when appropriate) and email accolades the next day, full of admiration for her colleagues and students. She looks for ways to lift all of us up, which I will miss, although I know Jane will continue to spread love and care everywhere she goes.

If there’s an injured bird, a runaway snake, or a shivering lizard somewhere on campus, it’s always Ms. Settle to the rescue. While I appreciate her care for the natural world, Jane’s rescues extend beyond the wild creatures of campus to her middle school students, although some may also consider them wild creatures! Jane is a kind-hearted and gentle soul; she shows care for all of her students and colleagues. A well known “softie” to the students, Jane extends grace, care, and compassion. Engaging, witty, and deeply invested, Ms. Settle has helped cultivate a love of science in many students, including my own two children.

54

The 2020-2021 school year has been like no other; Jane’s retirement at the end of this difficult year feels particularly sad. However, this year has highlighted Jane’s perseverance and optimism. Through all of the schedule iterations, classroom floating, teaching science in a nonlab classroom, and perhaps most significantly the fears and unknowns of Covid, Jane has done it all. Her bravery, selflessness, and strength in the face of these challenges may be the most valuable lesson she has imparted to her students over the many years. For Jane Settle, though, it’s all in a day’s work. Last week, when I asked Jane how her day was going, she answered with her signature sense of humor and optimism, explaining, “it’s one foot in front of the other, or in my case, one foot in front of the fake one.” She followed this quip with her joyous laugh.

What will we do without this laugh, this kind heart, and this spirit of resiliency? I will miss my colleague and dear friend, but like the students she has taught over the years, I will carry with me lessons from Ms. Settle.

-Maureen Daily

You know we’ve reached a real community on campus when your whole family gets to know someone else’s, and vice/versa. I’ve been blessed to have that happen with Jane: her daughter Legare took care of our kids for years especially when they lived in our neighborhood; her daughter Rebecca often took care of our dog, both times, if memory serves, when we were in a maternity ward delivering those kids; and now, many years hence, Jane has taught our two— along with, by my count, close to two thousand other students—with what seems the same degree of caring and compassion that emanated from her one-time house around the corner. (I remember that once we asked her if she’d host a summer camp just to raise kids; she seemed a perfect parent in our eyes— organized and nurturing, honest and human, fun and funny—she seems that way still).

And she has made so much of it such fun. It’s really tough to reach kids where they are sometimes (where they were yesterday, I sometimes think, moved away overnight), but the really good teachers expand their reach in lively ways from where they are, to get classes where they need to be. The very great ones, though, get Each and Every Student where he or she needs to be, and with not so much a magnetism than a gravitational pull. In this, Jane Settle has been an exceptionally great teacher, who has not only brought us closer to our own earthy world, but, too, made it a better place to be.

-Childs Smith

Of course, then, she’s a natural teacher of nature, one who knows there’s no better way to make science come alive than to live it with a lot of other living things: snakes and lizards, sure, but one wonders what Jane would have if her classroom became an acreage. A black rhino?

Gibbons? Manatees in a salty pond? I can see it (what wouldn’t she have?).

But many schools have that teacher, don’t they? Room full of terrariums?

Bird watcher? Has a poster about turtles? I don’t think so... For twentyfive years, Porter-Gaud School has had JANE SETTLE, no mere docent of museum exhibitry, but a veritable source of life and liveliness (with that infectious laugh) for the lives around her, a real Mother of Nature. “Biology.” “Ecology.”

“Ornithology.” Her students— heck, her colleagues—have learned these from her not as studies but as breathing responsibilities, less disciplines of academia than parts of global citizenry, worldly concerns that start in our own backyard.

55

US Science Department

Mr. Kael Martin, Teacher, Mentor and Friend.

And Pirate.

The floggings will continue, the saying goes, until morale improves. But after 28 years at Porter-Gaud, this teacher’s retiring.

Who will continue them now?

Mr. Martin has been a valuable member of the science department for nearly three decades teaching countless physics students at Porter-Gaud. He brings wonder to his physics classroom and Porter-Gaud community members of all ages through electrifying Van de Graaf generator demonstrations and amazing rides on his leaf blower hovercraft. I will never forget the time that he imploded a 55-gallon drum behind the S&T for all to marvel during community time. Mr. Martin’s impact extends well beyond the classroom. He’s designed and built numerous sets for plays and musicals in all divisions and has led several trebuchet and bridge building teams to wins while storming the Citadel. He is perhaps best known for his love not only of science but of the open water, and while he may be sailing away from our campus, he will remain firmly in our hearts.

-Caitlin Adelson

Mr. Martin took a chance on hiring a brand-new physics teacher fresh from his Alma Mater of the College of Charleston, and I will forever be grateful to him for that opportunity. Mr. Martin and I shared many physics and education professors at CofC (though several years apart from one another) and we still talk fondly of our 56

time there. Mr. Martin has played a pivotal role in shaping me to be the teacher I am today, and I still have much to learn from him about the art of teaching physics to young students. Students leave his classroom with a deeper appreciation for the mechanics of the universe and we will miss his presence on campus in the coming years.

-Meagan Downing Mr. Martin’s welcoming personality makes everyone feel like they have a special place in the science department.

He is always ready to support his colleagues in every division of the school. In my 17 years of teaching science at PG, I have presented him with many “creative” ideas for labs, and he has always produced the materials necessary to turn those ideas into reality. I show him a photo, and it appears in my classroom a few days later. He has hand-crafted everything from mechanisms to engineer windmills to a trophy for the winner of March Mammal Madness. I will forever appreciate his patience in helping me navigate my first Storm the Citadel competition with elementary students. Mr. Martin’s creativity, kindness, and carpentry skills have left an indelible mark on the entire campus. His generous heart and helping hands will be sorely missed.

-Jennifer Clair

Mr. Martin has supported more parts of PG life and areas than most people realize. Athletics, Fine Arts, Science, Global Union, and Service will feel his absence the most. He can build anything and will always volunteer to help whoever and whatever needs him and his expertise. He coached softball for years and built our sailing program to what it is today.

He built entire stage sets and floats for the MLK Jr. parade every year. Habitat for Humanity would ask me if he was coming with students because they knew they had an additional expert working at their site that day. He was a genius in the classroom and set up so many hands-on opportunities for his students to truly witness physics in action. I cannot believe he is leaving us, but he will never be truly gone since he truly helped shape our school in so many ways.

-Gretchen Tate

I don’t think Kael Martin has ever said no to me despite asking for help on so many things. Even if he didn’t have an immediate answer, he would figure it out and come back with a solution. His generous spirit, logical advice and easy-going nature make him the perfect colleague and friend.

As my department chair, he understood the importance of running a meeting efficiently and fostering camaraderie among peers. As for his contribution to the school, I feel like Kael Martin built the foundation that PG relies on, and I’m not sure how we move forward without him! He challenges his students to see how physics is useful in their daily lives and teaches them invaluable skills that will serve them well in life. We are losing a role model and mentor, but I wish for him small projects and warm clear days with 10-knot winds to keep him busy.

-Amy Flynn

I was Kael Martin’s first official hire as he assumed the science department chair when Becky Pritchard decided to retire. I have been grateful for the life-changing impact since that fateful 2012 decision. From Day 1 to today, Mr. Martin has patiently answered all inquires and has had the most inspiring can-do attitude. He always made sure that you felt listened to and supported. He has always been giving of his time and his knowledge like nobody else I know. I have learned a tremendous amount from him at Porter-Gaud, on the Arrow in Charleston Harbor, and in my backyard with his assistance building a tree fort for my kids. I love Mr. Martin’s family, his balance of humor and sincerity, and his authentic approach to life.

I strive to accomplish even a fraction of what he has left as a legacy through all of his outreach, over-extended weekends, and late afternoons. It is an odd but wonderful relationship when you look up to someone like a father figure, count him as the truest kind of friend, and admire him like a star. He really is a star in his own right. People are always better off for knowing him and he never boasts or expects lavish gratitude. I am so very happy to know that I’ll see him around our neighborhood and, because of this, it is much less sad to see him move on.

He will be an asset in whatever direction his heart and brain take him, and I know that if I ever need a hand or a friend, he’ll be there without hesitation. I hope that he will allow me to be that for him going forward. I will miss his presence around the hallways and meetings and celebrate more time for him on the water while we all carry the torch in the S&T. -Jason Fricker 57

Once Upon a Saturday...

Mr. Martin, Jogger? Absolutely-ish.

A friend and colleague remembers the teacher’s greatest test of physics.

September, 2010.

Showing the kind of true grit that still won’t wash off, four otherwise intelligent Porter-Gaud teachers signed on to the Seventeenth Annual MudRun sponsored by the United States Marine Corps and bolstered perhaps by these aging teachers’ dwindling self-image.

Led by MudRun team captain Doug Bergman, Kael Martin, Walker Bruce and Childs Smith completed the four-anda-half mile obstacle race (palindromically what else? nurdum) in just under two hours, less time than it takes to fly to Orlando but far more time than it took to drive the 104 miles to Gaston, S.C. where the event was held.

Well over 12,000 participants flooded into the large open field throughout the day, with four-member teams starting roughly every ten seconds. Marked unevenly along the sodden course awaited thirty-two unforgiving obstacles, each Marine Corps-themed (albeit far more Full Metal Jacket than Gomer Pyle), and all named to induce a certain pre-traumatic stress disorder: The Gauntlet. Mudderhorn.

Heartbreak Ridge. Entrapment.

58

Most memorable? –the eponymous, bottomless Mud-Pit, a foul-smelling forty-yard swath of ugly bog that would put even the Lowcountry’s pluffiest mud to shame. When teams sniffed the air of this obstacle’s entry point, their runners’ high turned pretty low as they then watched fellow racers, one by one, succumb to an immovable muck. In joined your plucky Cyclone team, though, and soon, like stale M&M’s stuck in batter for brownies that, trust me, no one’s gonna eat, they too languished infernally until, by literal hook or crook, they push-pulled their way out—seven feet from the start.

Nevertheless, one mile and seventeen minutes later, muddy, bloody, and unrecognizable with sweat and grime, they had earned their pre-paid free tee-shirt, a violent shot of water courtesy of the Gaston Fire Dept, and a five-dollar glass of lemonade.

Indeed, no one’s tougher than these four! (And if you don’t believe me, ask the four ladies who passed us at Mile Marker 1 but first asked if we needed help over the Monkey Bar-thingy.

We didn’t, mostly).

- Childs Smith

Seen here in the Annual Storm the Citadel event, ace Physics students and their Commanderin-Chef, Mr. Martin, launch projectiles from a homemade trebuchet, courtesy of the 4th Century BCE.

Kael Martin has been a teacher to me throughout both my days as a student as well as my recent days as a teacher. I had the privilege of being in his class twice during my high school days for my freshman IPC course and Advanced Physics my senior year.

He made science come alive, not simply conveying content to students but connecting each and every lesson to a part of our everyday lives. It was that zest for learning that he conveys in the classroom that helped to inspire me to become a teacher as well. Since joining the science department 15 years ago, I’ve now had the ability to work alongside my former teacher and continue my learning from him.

Whether it be a topic or activity for the classroom or simply some of his sage life advice, Kael has never stopped teaching me. And while I met him first as a teacher and will always remember the things I learned in “Special K’s” class, I am most proud of the fact that I can call this man my friend.

-Walker Bruce

When I first met Kael Martin, I recognized in him all the interesting qualities that make an outstanding teacher.

Depth of knowledge, passion for science, a sense of humor, and genuine support for all of his students top the list.

What I didn’t know then, but have discovered over two decades of teaching with him, is this—that even more than an incredible instructor, Mr. Martin is a paragon of generosity, service, and humanity. Leave aside the flying pigs of his physics class. Maybe you recognize him for his work for Habitat for Humanity, girded about in his utili-kilt (don’t hold his ladder). Maybe you’ve noticed him behind the fine arts building constructing sets for the musicals on wintery weekends.

And if you’ve been very lucky, maybe you’ve seen him in his native element, racing a sailboat on a breezy day in Charleston harbor. No matter where you meet him or what he is doing, he will greet you kindly and offer his help and expertise freely.

Here is a man who has devoted 28 years of his life to our school—I won’t restrict his impact to the classroom— and in doing so has made a permanent and positive impression on the Porter-Gaud community. Kael Martin just might be the most Interesting Man in the World, and I’m proud to call him my mentor and my friend.

-Aaron Lipka

One of many departmental cruises helmed by the Captain

59

Upper School Principal

Mr. Brad Gilman Statesman Extraordinaire For nine years, in the center of Cyclone Town has stood a certain dignitary, a calm in the storm. Now that he’s retiring, we recall his steadying hand.

After the new Upper School building was completed, I moved from my office in Tyler Hall to my current office in the S&T. It was Brad’s former office, and as I got settled in and opened the desk, I found a note he had left behind for me. I’ve come to learn this type of small gesture of consideration and care for colleagues was typical for Brad, and as I read the note, I wished I had left one behind in the office I vacated. This is just one of many lessons Brad Gilman taught me over the years of working with him.

Brad was on the short list of people I could turn to for advice as I learned how to be a principal, a role I found myself in suddenly and with little experience of my own on which to rely. Although I was jokingly given the book So You Want to be a Principal as a guide, the truth is, the wisdom from someone like Brad has continued to be the most helpful. As I hit my stride and grew in confidence as a leader, I’ll confess that when I would still lean on Brad for advice, I’d wonder if this would in fact be the one time Brad might not have encountered the same situation or perhaps he wouldn’t know what to do.

Well, that never happened; I can’t claim to have ever stumped Brad Gilman.

60

Brad’s interactions with me over the years are similar to his advice—measured, calm, empathetic, and on point. I’ll miss being able to pick his brain, and I’ll most certainly miss Brad’s kindness, sense of humor, and the care he has shown all of us at Porter-Gaud.

-Maureen Daily

As usual, legendary PG teacher Wesley Moore read the situation before everyone else did. “Brad Gilman,” intoned the Sage of Folly Beach (in his gorgeous lowcountry baritone) after his first meeting with Brad in the fall of 2012, “has practically no ego.” To be a good principal, one needs a host of qualities not often found in a single person: reason, patience, organization, insight into people and process, wisdom enough to differentiate real from faux compassion, clarity of communication, calm intelligence. To know Brad is to recognize those qualities in him, of course. But to be a great principal—which is to do the job with grace and dignity—it’s not what one needs but what one doesn’t: ego.

Brad has left us with so many indelible moments and qualities: the alarms he’d set to end meetings because he always respected our time and professional needs; the time he brought out boxing gloves to a faculty meeting before we duked it out over yet another schedule change; his brilliant faculty-dress-downannouncing poems (sorry, Brad, for requesting them); the look on his face when he talked about his family; the look on his face when he asked us about ours; his uncanny ability to make everyone feel heard; his infectious laugh; his genuine sense of wonder over all the remarkable things our students have accomplished over the years.

which seniors in our first assembly booed the new freshman class. Brad assured us that that unfortunate tradition ended then. He told us, in any school he led, that no teenager would be hazed, no teenager would be isolated like that, no teenager would be made to feel less than. Tears halted his voice, but his message was perfectly clear.

It was a brave act, even perhaps a risky one—to leave himself so vulnerable so early on. But Brad was certain of one thing. Whatever we thought of him didn’t matter; what mattered was what a group of nervous teenagers thought of us, thought of themselves.

What mattered was that some fourteen-year-olds— sitting nervously, maybe even sick to their stomachs, surrounded by unknown faces in an unfamiliar auditorium—might know that they had a place.

It was the act of an egoless man. Wesley was right.

It would seem impossible to have an ego, I suppose, when your head and your heart have always been full of other people.

-Aaron Lehman

But there’s one moment that’s truly unforgettable, one I didn’t know at the time would come to define him. At our last back-to-school division meeting in August of his first year, Brad ended with a request: He’d heard of the long-standing PG tradition in

61

Brad has been a great addition to our Porter-Gaud family. Mr. Gilman came to us with incredible experience and competence which allowed him to jump right in and become a Cyclone on Day One. His intellect, his understanding of school, and his cando attitude are only surpassed by his kind and gentle way. He is a staunch supporter of his students and his faculty, all of whom respect and admire him as do I. It has been a pleasure to work with him and learn from him. I am grateful for his leadership; Porter-Gaud is better because of his tenure. He will certainly be missed. I envy the time he will get to spend with his ever growing family—they are lucky to have him!

-Julie Ellison

Tribute to Brad Gilman

By Karen Kimberly

There once was a man named Brad Gilman Who stood at the helm as our watchman; He served with compassion While monitoring all the school’s action, And today we crown him a PG nobleman.

As head of the Upper School, Gilman is a rock, Constantly managing all the facets of his flock.

He is steady and calm (Even when chasing runners at Prom!)

—We wish we could keep a clone of him in stock.

Students find him supportive and always available, Never one to judge or to criticize the unassailable; His countenance is always accepting, Finding the good in all he is protecting; There is no doubt that Gilman borders on the infallible.

The faculty and staff trust him to have their backs, Never one to let details fall through the cracks; He loves a good pun, And always appreciates the fun; Mr. Gilman isn’t afraid to go to bat and take up the slack.

We can’t begin to thank Mr. Gilman for his contribution; Because of his leadership, P-G is a better institution.

Knowing that his legacy will live on, He will be missed long after he is gone, Unless we can revoke his departure with a royal resolution!

62

The Wallace Foundation recently concluded a decadeslong study of the impact of school leaders on students, teachers, and school culture. Among other factors, the study found that the most effective and impactful principals foster learning environments of mutual trust and respect, empowering and enabling teachers, and therefore students, to achieve more.

For the past four years, I’ve been fortunate to work with and learn from a school leader who has done all of the above and more. A teacher at heart himself, Mr. Gilman leads his faculty with empathy, evermindful of the particular joys and challenges of the classroom. He loves to engage in deep and meaningful discussions about instruction and curriculum and offers wise counsel when colleagues need help navigating a tough decision or conversation. With Upper School students, Mr. Gilman leads by example, demonstrating unwavering integrity and grace under pressure. No matter the arena—academics, athletics, or the arts— Mr. Gilman truly delights in watching students learn and grow. And in moments of challenge or crisis, his experience, wisdom, and calm demeanor help those around him to remember what is important and see the way forward.

Thank you, Brad, for being the steady hand at the helm of the Upper School these past nine years. Your thoughtful and humble leadership over the last four decades has empowered generations of students and teachers, helping us all achieve more.

-Audrey Holsten

It has been a joy to work with Brad during my time at Porter-Gaud. Mr. Gilman gave me the freedom to grow into the role of Upper School Dean while always supporting me and providing guidance and wisdom. His willingness to let me run with new ideas and his unwavering support in difficult situations speaks to the leader that Brad is for the entire Upper School. He truly wants the best for every student, faculty, and staff member. He empowers everyone to grow with the knowledge that he will be there to help if needed. As I continue in the role of Dean, I will constantly be referencing the wisdom he has shared and try to model my actions on the incredible example that he has set. His legacy at Porter-Gaud will live on in ways that I and many others approach our work with students as we do our best to emulate the example that he provided.

-Brent Hilpert Several months ago, the principals and deans took a stress inventory as we were trying to cope with the demands of running school in a pandemic. When the scores were tallied, I recall mine came in very close to the highest category of stress levels—maybe 7.9 on a 10 point scale.

Most of us were right in the same bell curve, but Brad Gilman scored something like a 4.

Well said, Ms. Daily. We agree!

We should not have been surprised by that news. He explained that he tries very hard to only concern himself with the things he can control and not with those he cannot; paraphrasing American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr’s Serenity Prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

That calming, patient, and thoughtful demeanor has characterized Brad’s approach in managing our largest division. Although I have seen him passionate about an issue or disappointed in someone’s actions, I can’t think of a time when he lost his temper in anger.

It’s helpful to have balanced people like Brad in your life. You can count on him to listen, and he has a way of helping people work through problems in an approach that builds trust and respect.

I’ve been grateful for Brad’s leadership in all of the many problems and dilemmas that we have tackled as well as so many positive changes across our upper school. He has brought that serenity in so many areas, and that peace has allowed our school to thrive.

-DuBose Egleston

63

watch PORTER-GAUD SCHOOL

300 Albemarle Rd. Charleston, SC 29407 64