2020 Etched on the Head of a Pin Literary Magazine

Etched on the Head of a Pin

The Rival Poet The column of your book titles, always introducing your latest one, looms over me like Roman architecture.

It is longer than the name of an Italian countess, longer than this poem will probably be.

Etched on the head of a pin, my own production would leave room for The Lord’s Prayer and many dancing angels.

No matter.

In my revenge daydream I am the one poised on the marble staircase high above the crowded ballroom.

A retainer in livery announces me and the Contessa Maria Teresa Isabella Veronica Multalire Eleganza de Bella Ferrari.

You are the one below fidgeting in your rented tux with some local Cindy hanging all over you.

-Billy Collins 2001-2002 US Poet Laureate

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Portage Northern Literary Magazine Etched on the Head of a Pin Staff Brianna Neuhouser, editor in chief Astrid Code, associate editor Maren Case Katie Knight Snigda Narisetty Kylie Clifton Rawan Alsaedi Claire Flynn Evan Wahmhoff Advisor Amanda Thorpe

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Table of About The Cover “the world turned upside down” - Kellie Miles I took it in Kalamazoo, Michigan, just around in my neighborhood. [“the world turned upside down”] is special because it’s the first picture I’ve taken with my lens ball that I’ve actually liked the way it turned out.

-Kellie Miles

Dear Readers

Thank you for reading this year’s edition of Etched on the Head of a Pin. The art, poetry and prose pieces through out the magazine represent the student body of our school. This year’s magazine covers topics such as family, endings, and heartbreak. The contents of the magazine tell the stories and experiences of the individuals that have submitted work to the magazine. However, they do not reflect the opinions of our staff or our school. We hope you enjoy the 2020 edition of Etched on the Head of a Pin.

Happy Reading, Brianna Neuhouser Editor in Chief

Art Credits

All photos by Kellie Miles Metal Crafts by Samantha Killmer 4

Illustrations

Page 13 by Kelcey Everett Page 22 by Astrid Code

Contents 16 6 8 10

Blackout Poem: Ashley Sheldon

Boundless: Faith Andrews

iGen: Brianna Neuhouser Lost: Naomi Randall

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The Orange Curtains: Victoria Tabor

The Orange Curtains: Victoria Tabor

Reflection: Evan Wahmhoff Raven: Naomi Randall

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The Promise: Astrid Code Coexist: Astrid Code

space isn’t empty: Emily Voss Nihilistic Thoughts: Evan Wahmhoff

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Blackout Poem: Stormm Byers Insanity: Brianna Neuhouser

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Home: Grace Culp The Women I Love: Brianna Neuhouser

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Never Enough Time: Samantha Eaton

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Moonshine: Faith Andrews Goodnight: Evan Wahmhoff

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Our Sad Bodies: Astrid Code

Cycle of Hate: Minaleah Koffron

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BHM: Shannyn Matthews Blackout Poem: Javonte Alexander

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ad astra: Maren Case

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My Plea for Our Wonderful World: Evan Wahmhoff

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blackout poem When I found out __________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _________________________ time __ stopped ____________________________________ ____________ I broke __________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________ and __ buried myself __________ _______________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________ it ___ happened so suddenly. __________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________ I used to feel _______ guilty because ___ ___________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ I thought she __ ______________________________________ knew her time was coming. ____________ ____________________________________________________ I just wish ___________ ________________________________________________________________ that she’s __ __________________________________ happy. ___________________________ -Ashley Sheldon

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-Kellie Miles

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Boundless These divine echoes and tears of ecstasy finally mean something.

The shining sun has meaning.

Our hands are clapsed and we have no intention of letting go.

We have your heart now.

Now we are forever.

Every step we take, every waking minute that we on this Earth, is powerful.

The sun beats down on us, and we dance as the world spins.

And we know that love is real.

Can you feel it? Can you feel that roaring passion of the past, present, and future?

Once you feel it within yourself, you are unstoppable.

Together, we have become unstoppable.

A Hand lifting up a flower, a cloud passing above you, You feel it now.

You know what peace is.

Feeling the euphoria of life in your bones is rapturous.

So, this is cloud nine?

A delicate voice lifts through the air.

“Questioning reality is nonessential.

Don’t let the real world overttake you.”

The whole world will stand up, thanks to you.

You amerliorate the generation.

Such a globalized delirium has never been seen before.

This has turned into much more than you could have ever known.

A worldwide freedom, an international harmony... a bittersweet symphony.

This is a notion comparable to the taste of lemons and sugarferoce e dolce.

So here is your chance to be wild. The chance to end your melancholic masquerade and rid youtself of the chains that bind you.

If you walk away now, you will never know what it means to be free.

-Faith Andrews

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-Kellie Miles

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Raven a fallen warrior amidst a stump-strewn field, two armies clashed in this once-woods, then field, now old war-field,

Reflection as your story comes to an end like a printer gradually running out of ink will your legacy transcend the normality of life? will the birds sing sweet songs of your deeds? or will your legacy be one so mundane cursed to be forgotten forever as an outcast in the vast emptiness of time -Evan Wahmhoff

raven circles the field among the vultures,

and lands on the gold hilt of a sword, stabbed into the ground, the raven stares into my eyes as if looking into my soul. i turn quickly, then remember my mission, the reason i journeyed so far, the reason my companions were lost, i’m here for one purpose, and one purpose only.

-Naomi Randall

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-Kellie Miles

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The Orange Curtains The scene takes place in an office, the curtains are almost drawn closed, and a faint light trickles in from the place in the middle where the two sides of the curtains do not meet.

Dr. Franklin - “Please take a seat, Ms. Morris.” (closes the door) He gestures towards a single empty chair in the room: opposite his desk Ms. Morris - (voice minorly shaking) “May I ask what this meeting is for?”

She takes a seat, holding a piece of paper in her hand Dr. Franklin - (begins to flip through papers in a folder) “Three missing reports, an incomplete story....”

Ms. Morris - (butting in) “Oh, I was going to finish that story after work---” Dr. Franklin - (ignoring her, keep his eyes focused on the evidence) “...half-done interview with a man who can’t even tie a tie properly....”

Ms. Morris - (quietly) “He seemed kind...”(pleading) “....and I have more people I could talk to” Dr. Franklin continues to ignore Ms. Morris (Talking over each other) Dr. Franklin - “... a comic idea to include in articles?” (He begins to laugh)

Ms. Morris - “I can do another interview” (sarcastically) “Such an original idea!!”

Ms. Morris - “ I can fix the story” (finally notices paper in her hand) “Is that a parking ticket?” (continues laughing)

Ms. Morris - “I plan to finish the reports after work” “Would that make it the third or fourth this month?”(He smirks and locks eyes with Ms. Morris) Ms. Morris - (Intimidated) “Actually.....um..... It’s another d-doctors note” Dr. Franklin sighs Dr. Franklin - “ I can’t keeping giving you anymore passes” Ms. Morris - “...but I can do it.....I know.... I-I can!”

Dr. Franklin - “ always late on deadlines, the work isn’t even to your best ability” Ms. Morris - “I’m aware” Dr. Franklin - “really? then what is the problem?”

Ms. Morris - “I’m just....(she hesitates)....well...” (she looks down at the note) “I’m just stuck” Dr. Franklin - “stuck? Like writer’s block, or maybe ---?” (shaking her head)

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Ms. Morris - “No. no, maybe stuck isn’t the right word” (she pauses)

Dr. Franklin - “well maybe---?” (interrupting him)

“Trapped. I feel trapped” Dr. Franklin - “trapped?...you can move your arms and legs can’t you?”

Ms. Morris - “and I can shiver, and tremble, but I didn’t tell my body to” Dr. Franklin - “I’m not following” Ms. Morris - (quietly) “of course you’re not” Dr. Franklin - “Excuse me!”

Ms. Morris - “my apologies” Dr. Franklin - “There is no need to take your frustration out on me” Ms. Morris - “If I may ask, what exactly do you think I’m frustrated with?”

Dr. Franklin - “Your inability to move forward” (she smiles with empty eyes) Ms. Morris - “I suppose you’re right” (she laughs) “Especially when the liberty to do so has been stripped away from you” Dr. Franklin - “I’ve given you all the resources you need! So stop with this foolishness of blaming me, for your laziness.”

Ms. Morris - “I am not blaming you for anything” (She pauses) “and I am not lazy” Dr. Franklin - “I suppose we have different definitions of laziness...” (he pauses).

Ms. Morris’ heel starts to bounce slightly up and down Dr. Franklin - “ ... anyway that is all. You can show yourself out.” (He sits back in his chair; starts to flip through folders on his desk) She doesn’t move Dr. Franklin - “Ms. Morris?” (attention focused on his task) Dr. Franklin - “Ms. Morris?” (he says more sternly; short glance towards her direction) (he looks back down at his papers) Dr. Franklin - “What’s stopping you now?”

Her hands start to sweat; the card in her hand is visibly shaking from the trembling of her hands Ms. Morris - “I’ve tried. I have tried to get up, but for some reason I just can’t” Dr. Franklin - “What, you can’t walk to the door?”

Ms. Morris looks into his eyes: glaring.

Dr. Franklin - “You’re not paralyzed” She stops shaking; her body becomes still Ms. Morris - (waves the note in her hand) (quietly) “but i am”

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Dr. Franklin - (recognizes the note) “Yes, yes I am aware of your mental illness, but I gave you enough time ---” Ms. Morris - (firmly) “yes, but while I’m still fighting....I am not recovering, I am struggling! I am still struggling” (tears start to fall from her eyes; she doesn’t wipe them away) (Dr. Franklin sits up in his chair; she copies him) Dr. Franklin - “Look...I get it, it’s hard, I am fully aware that mental illness is just as severe as a physical sickness or physical injury” Ms. Morris - (confidently) “No” Dr. Franklin - “No?” Ms. Morris - “No, it is not the same. There are similarities, but people who experience mental illness have to go through a set of difficulties that you could not imagine.”

Dr. Franklin - “Well, I am not a therapist, so maybe I am not someone who you need to talk to about your difficulties” Ms. Morris - “No, but here I am. Talking to another person about what I am going through. I don’t have a cast for people to sign! I don’t have a wheelchair, or neck brace. (she pauses) “I don’t get a ‘Get Better Soon’ card, or flowers. You want to know what I get? Disappointment. Pity. Confused faces, Ignorance. No one wants to talk about it, no one says ‘I hope you get well soon’. Oh! And there is no rush to the hospital in an ambulance!

However, I guess that’s a good thing, because I don’t have enough money to afford one, considering insurance won’t cover medical treatments for people with mental illnesses.” (she sighs) “I guess I am just tired of having to prove to others that I need help” (Tears start to fall down her face) “Tired of accepting all the things that I can no longer do” “Tired of watching everyone around me living their lives” (she laughs) “Or maybe they’re struggling too. I suppose that’s the cursed cycle of this whole thing” (She sits back in her chair, and looks down at her hands) Dr. Franklin - (empathetically) “I don’t know what you want me to do” Ms. Morris - “Don’t brush it off; think about what I said” Ms. Morris stands up, puts the doctor’s note on his desk, and opens the door. She sighs, she walks through the door, and she closes it behind her.

The tremors from the door, loosen the ties on the curtains, and the two sides touch: meeting in the middle.

-Victoria Tabor

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-Kellie Miles

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coexist

i’m proud of my mental illness and i don’t think i want to live without it who would i be? it’s better to coexist of course it’s there and it’ll always be but not enough to take over my life

-Astrid Code

the promise the promise is that hope and love and kindness will abound the hope is that our tiny hearts bound to our tiny bodies can somehow be found the love is that so fragile, perhaps already broken we allow ourselves to be a little bit vulnerable breakable and free.

-Astrid Code

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-Kellie Miles

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Insanity

you preach and preach and preach that the intelligence of a fish is not measured by how he climbs a tree and that insanity is trying the same thing over and over and over again but expecting different results So why do you teach and teach and teach the same material the same way knowing your kids have never understood?

-Brianna Neuhouser

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I was in a hotel gym when my mom called me and my sister up to the hotel room. We went up expecting to get to stay another night. Instead she broke some bad news. She told us that our father had died. This was something that was unexpected but expected. We knew it . was going to happen, but at that moment, it felt surreal I didn’t even know how to feel. He had molested me and my siblings, I have been through 2 house fires because of him, overall just went through a lot of hell because of him. But it was a bunch of different emotions that I didn’t know how to react. I didn’t even cry the first day I found out. But then I got to thinking like he did love us He would try and try again to get our attention but I wouldn’t listen. The last time I saw my father we were in a courtroom, I was at the podium, telling him I just did not want him involved in my life at all anymore. By the time I was done speaking and walking out he said I love you to me, and I just kept walking. That was the last time I was with him. When we came back from the hotel, about 2 days after he passed, me and my 2 sisters went to his house. We saw some things in that house we were born in and we wanted some of our old things and some of his. We walked into the kitchen where we saw a blood trail. A trail of blood from a knocked over a chair that we don’t know what happened but it seemed like he was crawling to his house phone. But he didn’t make it, he bled out. We still don’t know his cause of death because his mom who is very rich and wouldn’t pay 200 dollars for an autopsy to see what happened and neither did we but she got half a million dollar house that was supposed to go to us. That is a story for another time. But she got him cremated before we could do anything about the autopsy and she sent his ashes to Detroit with his sister and a little over a year ago and we haven’t seen them yet.

-Stormm Byers

-Kellie Miles

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Never Enough Time My eyes were heavy, carrying the weight from my lack of sleep. I logged off my computer and shut it down, knocking over my half full coffee mug. Instantly, I snapped myself awake and leaned over my desk in a rush, pushing my swivel chair back towards the wall, I expected to hear my favorite cup crash to the ground in a thousand pieces, but nothing happened.

Instead, as I peered over my desk, the cup appeared to be frozen in the air. I rubbed my eyes, but the mug remained suspended in the air and never hit the ground, Brushing a strand of hair out of my face, I stood up and looked around the office.

None of my coworkers were moving. My eyes darted rapidly around the room. There was no way my mind could play a trick of this scale on me. I glanced towards my watch. 4:59 p.m. My heart was ready to leap out of my chest.

Shannon, my office coworker, was by the door, but she stood frozen mid-step. I waved my hand in front of her face. Nothing. Scanning around the room, everyone in the office was as still as ice, sending goosebumps down my arms.

Commotion outside caught my attention and I flew towards the window, careful to not bump my hip on any of my frozen coworkers. The streets were in the same condition as the office, but there was a person. He appeared troubled and threw his hands up defeatedly. He had brown hair and eccentric, blue eyes that locked with mine as he covered his agitation with a smile.

I rushed outside, bounding down the stairway to the first floor. The boy spotted me and cautiously stepped closer.

“Uh hey,” he stuttered, smiling awkwardly and scratching his head. Questions surged through my mind, but I couldn’t pick just one. “I’m Alexander.”

“Sophia,” I replied tentatively. He wore what seemed a grey and black uniform with three small letters on his right shoulder. UTU. Alexander caught my gaze and proceeded to explain.

“My name is Alexander Trevino of the Universal Travel Unit from 3010.” His once bright smile disappeared and he placed his hands at his sides in sincerity.

“Wha-what? I asked, attempting to mask my disbelief.

“I’ve come from 3010 in search of the one person who saved our society long ago. Or rather in the future for you.”

“So you’ve traveled back in time?” I clarified hesitantly. Alexander nodded. “How come everyone’s frozen besides you and me?” He rubbed his chin and looked around before returning his attention to me.

“That’s because of you. You have the power society needs for its survival.” His words were so distant to my ears.

“Come with me. To the future, so you can save space and time once more,” he pleaded, reaching his hand out.

“You’re funny,” I laughed, backing away. “Just make it stop.” Alexander shrugged his shoulders.

“That’s entirely up to you. It’s your power after all.”

-Samantha Eaton

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-Kellie Miles

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Goodnight the fading light of the sun another day over and done the calmness of the evening stifling all sound except the chirping of the birds calling to one and another goodnight The Sensuality of Night a playful breeze soft and cold to the touch gently embraces me in the fading light and whispers to me gently of the wonders I will see enveloped in the sensuality of night The Ecstasy of Life a euphoric feeling of pink wispy clouds with the soft glow of lightning bugs surrounding the carefree children screaming with delight submerged in the deep pool of the ecstasy of life the soft chirping of the crickets signaling the end of the day yet the children live on not yet stuck in the drought of age living without the most precious feeling that carefree feeling of the ecstasy of life The Sun Will Rise Again a lone figure under a streetlight lurking in the dark of night eyes burning into my spine preparing to dine upon my fear leaving the future so unclear much to the figure's dismay the sun will rise yet another day warding off the murkiness of the night filling life with a bubbly delight of music and cotton candy love feeling like the call of a mourning dove -Evan Wahmhoff

Moonshine On the first day that the moon shone, its golden tint lined the sky with feelings of eternal hope and tenderness. Those who viewed the moon and his dancing stars were amazed; transfixed on their bright lunar king. Under the gentle rays, the people smiled and danced, and felt as if the way of the world had suddenly changed. It was no longer just a “feeling" that everything was all right. It had, by then, become very common knowledge.

Nothing could go wrong. The sky surrounding the resplendent stars and their master was a dark one, yet it was enveloped in brightness and satisfaction.

It was a tranquil black and lilac, with a hint of faded summer sunset. The sky hugged the people tightly as they danced, skipped, and sang, and they rejoiced for the sudden change of mind in the universe.

It has been decided-this called for a celebration.

With smiles high on their cheeks, the people poured their hearts into wine glasses for all to share. The ruby red love drink raised both their spirits and the sky above. These people had become new, for their celestial guardians redesigned them with such a strong sense of accuracy as well as a candied, tactile touch.

The people... they had had enough. The world had become too rough; they were tired. It was always believed that the end was near, and they waited patiently, yet excitedly. Alas, their dreams and their wishes of release never came true. But now we cheer for a new world, a new society, a new hope. Finally, freedom rings.

So forget the past, and smile for the future. Nobody can rebuild this sullen earth but you.

-Faith Andrews

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-Samantha Killmer

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ad astra

Indomitus. Latin. Untamed; fierce.

Fulgor. Latin. Glittering; glory.

Roseus. Latin. Of roses.

Vagor. Latin. Wander.

Interritus. Latin. Fearless.

They knew.

Of course they did, They were closer to Gods.

To our beginning.

Entwined with divinity.

We say they were ancient But we should say that they were brilliant.

Spoken words adorned with such filigree, Reflecting the beauty of the world they understood.

Lives spent loving the stars for the stories they told, Charting them to record their majesty.

Now those primordial gems are Lying beneath primal vines, Covered in old rubble, Protected in sacred groves.

But the beauty exists still.

Marks on our skin are constellations, Our irises speckled with flecks of galaxy.

Woven are our souls with the story of history.

So ad astra, my friends.

Back to our wild.

-Maren Case

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-Kellie Miles

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My Plea for Our Wonderful World

I beg of thee to know not of greed but of the unmatched feeling of love for the beauty of our wonderful world in which we re-side love not the items which tear our Earth apart but the things that make this world alive full of wonderful sounds and emotion like the bright call of the chickadee at sunrise greeting each and every day and the last, fading call of the mourning dove at sunset saying our final goodbyes to a day done so I beg of thee, fight not for wealth but for what makes our world a truly wonderful place

-Evan Wahmhoff

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-Kellie Miles

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