Many LGBTQ+ people — especially trans and gender diverse people — have experienced discrimination in healthcare settings or other services. They are understandably concerned about how they will be treated when planning a funeral.
At Poppy’s, we don’t tell you what sort of funeral you should have. We listen to what you want, then create a unique funeral you can be proud of, with as much support as you need.
We offer this flexible and person-centred approach to all our clients, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation. Whoever we are, everyone deserves to be treated with dignity, care and respect.
This guide explains our overall approach, as well as the specific support we offer to our LGBTQ+ clients, their friends and families.
“The whole team’s positive and loving attitude just shines through and you feel totally supported as a human being at every step of your journey. They understand that everyone is different and they facilitate your approach to your person’s funeral.”
Elena
Planning ahead
We offer both pre-paid funeral plans and free 45-minute funeral wishes consultations. You can ask questions about funeral choices and write down what you want to happen after death and at the funeral.
It’s also an opportunity to decide who to talk to about your plans and wishes. A Lasting Power of Attorney ends when someone dies, so it is helpful to name people who you trust to carry out your wishes for your funeral.
We’ve found that talking through fears, worries and wishes — and writing these down — can be reassuring and empowering, especially if there is any family conflict around your gender identity or sexual orientation.
Our care
We will safely bring your person to Poppy’s in Lambeth Cemetery in Tooting, where we will care for them until their funeral.
Our mortuary is a beautiful converted chapel. It’s peaceful and full of natural light. We take a natural, gentle approach to looking after people, and our team treats everyone in our care with dignity and respect, always referring to them by their first names.
You are welcome to visit your person at Poppy’s if you wish. You can spend time with them in our private and comfortable Friends and Family room, or help our team dress them, wash their hair or do their make-up.
Our team
We have received training from the Gender Identity Research & Education Society (GIRES). We are always trying to share our experiences with LGBTQ+ care within our team and provide resources through our website. Most importantly, we listen to and learn from our LGBTQ+ clients.
We have LGBTQ+ people on our team, but we know that everyone’s life experiences are different, so we don’t assume our experiences are the same as yours.
We’re all human, and language around gender and sexuality is varied and fast-changing, so sometimes we may use the wrong word or ask the wrong question. If we do, we’ll always apologise, and respond to feedback.
Our approach
We will help you create a funeral that celebrates your person and is authentic to the way they chose to live their life.
• If you tell us your name and pronouns, or those of the person who has died, we will use these, whether or not they match legal documents.
• We won’t assume that the biological family will be organising the funeral.
• We won’t make assumptions about who is in your chosen family.
• We’ll take your lead on clothing, make-up or other ways to prepare or care for your person before the funeral, which reflect how they expressed themselves in life.
• We will offer male-only or female-only care for your person if you prefer.
• We will be able to guide you through the process of registering a death using your person’s chosen name and gender.
• We will be your advocates and allies in a system which is not always flexible or responsive, doing all we can to ensure that the people and institutions you’ll come into contact with when arranging a funeral respect your identity, relationships and funeral choices.
Explore options and costs on our website: poppysfunerals.co.uk/funeral-costs
Poppy’s is a fresh approach to funerals. We’re here to create a funeral that works for you.
Find ideas, advice and stories on our blog: poppysfunerals.co.uk/blog
You can get in touch with us at any time with questions. You don’t have to wait until after someone has died or after you have registered the death.
You can call us on 020 3589 4726, between 9am and 5pm Monday to Friday, or email hello@poppysfunerals.co.uk.
