Polyester zine Issue Four

Issue four

Stephanie Lynn

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Cuatro Vier

FOUR

Quattro

Cztery

a r y F

It's been six months since the last issue of Polyester. In that time we celebrated our first birthday, ran a panel and workshop day and all collectively graduated university. Reflecting back on our first year, it seemed more important than ever that for the fourth issue we take a stand and shout about what we really believe in. The past year has been tough and amazing in almost equal measures. London is becoming a harder place to exist both as an artist and as a female. With Government cuts taking hold, it seems like even now it wouldn't be possible to start Polyester if we were trying to launch in 2016, funding and advertisement free.

Despite the lack of theme I feel like this issue’s content reflects all of our contributors combined duplicity of existing amongst a super supportive community whilst trying to navigate a slowly changing landscape for women and queer identifying people. While incredible design houses continue to close their doors unable to make the finances work, the relationship between fashion and feminism becomes ever conflicting and more of a grey area than had ever been noticeable before. But this makes it all the more important to celebrate the labels that matter. As the mainstream media begins to shift and provide more opportunities for minorities, a whole other - valid - debate of tokenism arises, making the media landscape even harder to navigate. Ultimately, talk is cheap.

Saying that, we've been lucky enough to work with some amazing people and tackle some really important issues for this installment of the zine. We discuss anxiety in the context of a photo editorial, celebrate all the sad girls and speak to some amazing artists tackling gender roles like Victoria Sin and Liv Wynter. Having the opportunity to talk to and shoot with Tavi Gevinson has been a real milestone for the publication, as well as catching up with curator Antonia Marsh and musician Rina Sawayama, who represents the tension between our IRL and URL selves in the most eloquent way possible. I want the pages of Polyester to be a source of real change and not just another publication adding to the pile of clickbait clogging up our newsfeeds.

-Ione Gamble EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

ART DIRECTOR Kayla Martinez FASHION EDITOR Jilian Banjoko

Cover 1: Photography by Eleanor Hardwick, Tavi wears Chanel and Dagda London Cover 2: Photography by Tayler Smith, Gogo wears Comme des Garçons Fashion Assistant: Jessica Edwards Special thanks to Alfie Gleeson, Jender Anomie and Kiersty Boon

COPYRIGHT & DISCLAIMER All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or part without written permission from publishers. © 2016 Polyester. The views expressed in Polyester are those of the respective contributors and Editor, and are not necessarily shared by the publisher. These parties cannot be held responsible for them.

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By Ayesha Tan Jones

Life’s a Sin

Drag culture has been pulled into the mainstream consciousness by the likes of TV shows RuPaul’s Drag Race, and whilst men performing female drag has become a popular and more accepted art form, women performing this kind of femininity haven’t been as visible. Female drag performers can face criticism for participating in a world that has largely been occupied by gay male performers, and there are some people who view female drag queens as appropriators of a particular culture.

Victoria Sin is a Canadian artist and female drag performer based in London, and has had firsthand experience of such criticism herself. “Drag is a series of appropriations on top of each other... It’s like, you’ve been appropriating the culture of femininity, am I appropriating femininity from gay men?

Once you start looking into it, it absolutely starts falling apart. These arguments are not only idiotic, but pure misogyny; that being a woman would not allow you to participate in gay culture.”

What such criticism ignores is the capacity and ability for female drag performers to challenge and question what we all think we know about gender.

Victoria’s own performances are heavily informed by post-modern feminism, and attempt to deconstruct how gender filters in day to day life, whilst exploring how much performance is reconciled with her own identity. “I’m a feminine identified person. So to decide to perform femininity you start looking at how you put on lipstick to go out one day, and you’re like well what’s the difference between this and drag?

At what point does it turn into drag?

Femininity is not essential to women and masculinity is not essential to men. We’re all bodies performing gender in some way however aware of it we are. To be a feminine identified person who then chooses to perform femininity makes me kind of look back on myself and think about everything gendered.”

Victoria’s performances are also informed by race, and western concepts of beauty. “When I am in drag I’m erasing my Chinese background and delving into western beauty ideals, which is a white girl with blonde hair.

The purpose of drag, for me, is to embody all of these very convoluted beauty standards that exist for women.”

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As a 16-year-old living in Toronto, drag clubs provided Victoria with a captivating perspective on femininity. “I just totally loved it. It was this incredible empowered representation of femininity that I had never seen before. Femininity in media culture is all-passive, and, growing up in a Chinese family, that’s also how femininity is portrayed, as something that is seen and not heard. To see these men using femininity and commanding the attention of a room was something that really stuck with me.”

Victoria later moved to London to study fine art, where, in her first year as a student, she began experimenting with drag. For a while, her drag was very personal, involving only dressing up and performing for her laptop, whilst creating her own photos and videos to examine this persona. However much she wanted to be a drag queen, Victoria felt unable to give herself permission to go for it. It was another London female drag performer, Holestar, who gave Victoria the confidence to pursue this desire, “I was like, ‘oh shit. Well I mean if she can, then why not? What’s been holding me back this entire time?” she says, “Like, absolutely nothing - just my own mind.”

Victoria now performs outside of the confines of her bedroom. But moving her work into clubs, despite providing a fun experience, isn’t key to what she does as a performer.

“For me the main thing is about producing an image,” she says. “I put on makeup and a wig, and all of a sudden I look like a completely different person.”

Although performing on stage isn’t necessarily important to her craft, Victoria sees these clubs and bars as vital for the queer community in London. “I think physical spaces for queer people are important because it’s very political for people to take up space. It’s really terrible how many queer

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venues have been disappearing in London recently. There should be some kind of government recognition of how important these things are. If a straight bar closes then you can go anywhere else in the world, but if one of the four queer bars left in east London closes then that’s 25% of the scene gone.”

The rising cost of rent in London has not only impacted on Victoria’s life as a drag performer, but also as an artist. “It’s totally obscene that London is allowed to function in this way. There’s nothing in place to protect the people who live in London and make it interesting. All of the YBAs that created the London art scene - the only reason that they existed is because they were all on the dole and could live in these cheap places and squat. Auto Italia, which is an art collective who I’m working with at the moment, started 7 years ago in a squat in Peckham, and if they tried to start now they wouldn’t be able to.

That just wouldn’t be possible.”

Despite the barriers faced by the queer community and drag performers in London, Victoria feels positive about the platform she has to talk about what she does. “I wanna reach as many people as I can doing drag. I’ve had teenage girls emailing me saying, ‘I want to be a drag queen, but how do I get started?’ and my response is always to just give yourself the permission.”

Words by Georgia Haire Interview by Ione Gamble Photography by Francesca Allen Styling and make up by Victoria Sin

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A resounding bout of enthusiasm is often the reaction you’ll get when Sanam Sindhi is brought up in conversation. This can hardly come as much of a surprise when a quick scroll through her Instagram - @trustmedaddy - can inadvertently turn into a 30-minute digital affair. “I don’t consider myself that influential,” Sindhi tells me, yet with a 103k+ following, her reluctance to become some kind of role model has probably come a little too late.

After making an appearance as one third of Rihanna’s girl gang in the Bitch Better Have My Money video released last June, Sanam rose to international notoriety as people flocked to social media to try and unearth the mystery girl’s identity.

A stream of interviews followed, revealing her to be just a normal girl from Seattle.

But it’s apparent from the start of our interview that she’s not just your average Seattleite, and makes it quite clear she doesn’t want to talk about Rihanna whatsoever. Yes, she’s on a first name basis with RiRi, but Sindhi doesn’t let that kind of information define how we view her.

With the intention to begin photographing again, preparations to write a book in the works and even plans to bring out a clothing line, she’s certainly trying to shrug off the label of ‘sidekick’. It’s Sindhi’s work as an artist, however, that’s been making most people talk.

Sindhi is part of Art Baby Gallery, an online exhibition space run by artist and curator Grace Miceli.

Since 2011, the collective has been providing young artists with a platform to exhibit their work by putting on solo exhibitions once a month.

“The internet was made for people to find each other and build communities,” Sindhi explains, “So it only makes sense that so many women, especially younger women, would be creating and flourishing.” It’s unclear whether Vinton Cerf and Robert Kahn had that in mind when inventing the World Wide Web, but you can certainly see her point. Since the conception of cyberfeminism in the 1990s, the internet has been a convenient place for women and minorities to promote their work; Art Baby Gallery is just one of many manifestations of that.

The Gallery, however, are breaking away from the constraints of the digital world and expanding to exhibit in physical spaces. There have already been two IRL shows, both of which Sindhi has been involved in (one in August and another in December 2015) both at Alt Space in Brooklyn, Sindhi’s new hometown.

This year she plans to start a strictly people-of-colour-only collective for artists and makers. The Instagram casting call describes “a platform to showcase the work of, and to create a safe space, for artists of South Asian descent.” It’s in the early stages of inception, yet she confesses it’s been something she’s thought about doing for a while. Sindhi tells me that in alternative media, “I don’t really [think] that there is much representation of Desi women.”

Perhaps this collective can bring about some change.

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No, not at all: “I’ve been posting the same terrible food photos and selfies and talking shit since back when I had 100 followers,” she explains. “Except that now there’s just a lot of 14-yearolds and old white men who get to see all of that.”

“"The internet was made for people to find each other and build communities, so it only makes sense that so many women would be creating and flourishing”."

Seattle, she tells me, “was boring and sad and white.”

New York City, she claims, provides more opportunities for young people, especially people of colour. A campaigner against cultural appro-priation, she’s more than ready to call out the bullshit - especially in the society directly around her.

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It’s been less than a year since Sindhi came into the public eye, and I wonder has it had much effect on her or the way she presents herself?

There’s a slightly vexed honesty to the way she speaks to me, as if irritated by the attention she’s getting. “I despise the term influencer”, she explains, “but for some people it pays the bills.”

There’s more to Sanam Sindhi than her Instagram, and she makes that perfectly clear.

Words by Eilidh Duffy, Art by Liv Thurley

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“Sorry I’m late.

I didn’t want to come” Photography by Emily Cole Styling by Hannah Grunden Hair by Jake Gallagher Produced by Ione Gamble Makeup by Romani Saunders and Arianna Mendak

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Shoes by Õun Design, crystal headpiece by ONLY CHILD

Latex bra by Ellisa Poppy, safety pin earring by Gina Melosi

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Pills hat by Victoria Grant, blue shirt by Typical Freaks, skirt by A Child of the Jago

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Latex collar and dress by Ellisa

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Poppy

Shirt by Typical Freaks, skirt by Frances Knee, gloves by Õun Design

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Tavi n o s n Gevi

It’s unlikely that Polyester would exist if it were not for Tavi Gevinson. When discussing the zine renaissance, many are quick to pinpoint a revived interest in Riot Grrrl as the reason behind why so many young women turn to creating their own publications. But really, how many young women would have looked to the 90’s subculture if i hadn’t been for girls like Tavi filling our Tumblr dashboards with imagery from the movement? And even so, it’s far more likely we saw girls like Tavi creating media platforms on their own terms - and in real time - more inspiring than a movement that hit its peak while us twenty-somethings were still taking our first steps.

an increasingly problematic relationship with how the fight for equal rights have infiltrated celebrity culture, “I hate to be so cynical but i’m also like, oh what does this mean and what does this say about our late capitalist world that feminism is this thing you can do, and that it’s good for business to be sort-of-political and representing different people?”

It’s a discussion that seems to be always and ever relevant within feminist communities. ‘Diversity’, (which more often than not lies bedfellow with tokenism), is fashionable. It’s hard to name a brand that hasn’t cashed in on the popularity of equal rights or ‘breaking beauty standards’, and it’s even harder Rookie, founded in 2011 off the back of to name a celebrity that hasn’t been Tavi’s first fashion blog ‘Style Rookie’, initially asked, “Are you a feminist?” Tavi has felt like a place for the underdogs. A safe previously spoken out with her opinion haven for teen girls to escape from the hell that asking celebrities if they are or are that is high school, the website opened up not feminists is irrelevant, “It drives me a whole new world of how-tos and advice insane because I sort of sit between these columns that felt planets away two worlds of young, from the playground. amazing impressionable However, five years women and then all the on from the 2011 " I’m in a crazy, people they look up to. launch, Rookie feels I just have to bite my crazy bubble where less like the exception tongue so hard to not get and more of the unnecessarily real about i don’t have to rule. “There’s a very the way people actually deal with a lot of blurry line between are and what it actually the alternative and takes to be successful.” injustice of any mainstream now Tavi expresses, “It kind in my day-to- wasn’t that long ago because there aren’t many secrets that I admired lots of day life, so for me anymore”, Tavi tells these people from the me over the phone, to speak about a lot magicalness of my “When Rookie teenage bedroom, so of the things that started it was it’s an interesting thing more niche, but getting closer to it and i think our readers with the choices i realising that there’s are going through made as an editor really no reason why in concern to the being successful in would be just not reach and in the any entertainment helpful." language we use, industry should mean l feel like more that you have an of the internet empathic world view speaks the same and informed views about feminism.” language than it did when I launched the site.” It’s undeniable that Tavi and Despite her reservations, it’s hard to deny Rookie have played a huge role in the that feminism entering the mainstream has rise of ‘mainstream’ feminism within generated some positivity and recognition the media industry. Terms such as for the cause. The internet has sprouted intersectional feminism and a rise in call out culture, and teenagers are learning personal gender politics can largely about social responsibility quicker than be attributed to teen girls using ever before. “You have to be realistic about the internet as their own space where people are at, and you can only start to conduct online activism, which at that point. Not everyone is completely up then trickled up into wider society. to speed on our evolving language around However, Tavi herself has found these issues.”

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She reiterates, “I just think it’s dangerous to influence her publication has in the wider give too much power to these voices and world and how to use it to her audiences to confuse posi-vibe feminism for actual advantage, “Rookie is in a lovely spot progress.” Power, again, is something between lots of young writers and then the internet has provided the individual. lots of influential established listening Personal essays (an off-shoot of the rise ears in publishing.” With that in mind it of blogging) function both positively and seems the constant questioning as to negatively in the world of 21st century what Tavi will doas she grows up- and online media. On the one hand, they allow how relevant she can be to her readers marginalised people a voice to comment is redundant, the platform Tavi created is on issues that may otherwise be denied to no longer reliant on her sole input. them, and Rookie is especially instrumental in allowing young people a legitimate After nearly but not quite enrolling at platform to air their views. “With Rookie NYU last year, Tavi made the move to I’m always very pleased when we’re New York regardless and subsequently able to distill the chaos of an issue that’s starred in her first Broadway production, usually discussed within a really broad This is Our Youth. But has moving from political sense into a personal essay.” suburban Chicago to New York being She says, “I think that’s around ‘creative’ people the root of empathy for constantly, altered her a lot of people, so the work ethic? “I feel if I “"I feel if I personal can be political put the pressure on in a really important myself like, ‘I want to put the pressure way”. However, when accomplish this by this on myself used unsparingly and time’ that I think it can arguably too often, these sort of fuck with the like, ‘i want to essays often come flame that should be accomplish this across, in her eyes, as guiding you and exciting “symptomatic of this by this time’ that you regardless.” Similar really creepy need to to many young creative just I think it can have a personal brand.” women our age, Tavi is Perhaps surprisingly, unwilling to be bound sort of fuck with Tavi doesn’t consider by one career or herself an activist. singular path. Instead the flame that Despite the fact that she continues with should be guiding Tavi’s personal work, acting commitments, and Rookie alike, are writing, editing and you and exciting both informed by generally making the you regardless." feminist ideas, she most of her time living considers Rookie a in the cultural capital. publication first and foremost with her own purpose as a “Right now I’m sitting in my apartment professional being a need to satisfy her and I have my record player, my books, creative desires above anything else. and my paints, and I feel the same way However, that’s not to say Tavi doesn’t I did when I was twelve, when I would feel passionately about moulding Rookie just come home from school and take into a platform which teen girls can use a picture of my outfit and then make a as their own, despite the fact that she is collage. Having that – the luxury of the reaching the end of teenagehood herself. time do this – it’s like I don’t need anything “Even though I’m still 19, my life changed else.” And maybe, if anything, that’s what really quickly when I graduated from high we can all learn from Tavi. In a world school. I’m in a crazy, crazy bubble where ruled by clickbait, and the glaring gaze i don’t have to deal with a lot of injustice of social media, time has never seemed of any kind in my day-to-day life, so for so scarce. Taking time to step back and me to speak about a lot of the things that I reconnect with what really motivated us think our readers are going through would in the first place is no guilty pleasure, but be just not helpful.” Offering many young a necessity for growth. creative people their first opportunity, Tavi Words by Ione Gamble is aware there’s only so much good that Photography by Eleanor Hardwick can come from putting herself front and Styling by Tavi Gevinson centre. She’s also equally aware of the Tavi wears Chanel, Shrimps, Dagda and Meadham Kirchhoff throughout

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It’s N ot a Ph ase, Mom Photogr aphy by Tayler S Styling by mith Makeup Stephanie Kat an and hair Featurin

by Tayle d Tayler Smith r Smith g Gogo Graham

Left: Dress by Tayler Smith, Phone

by Sidekick, Bra- stylist’s own This page: Skirt by Comme des Garçons, Boots

by Dr Martens

Top by Gogo Graham, Skirt by Hot Topic

We’ve been crushing on Tayler Smith’s work for a long time. Her body of work, mostly made up of surreal portraits depicting the queer community in NYC, represent a dreamlike world for self confessed weirdos to exist without the fear of shame and abuse our real lives so often manifest. Unfortunately, her most recognisable work to date was brought to most people’s attentions through bleak circumstances. After being ripped off by an NYT featured Yale graduate, her project Most Important Ugly (produced in collaboration with beauty writer Arabelle Sicardi), initiated world-wide conversation tackling the issue of cis white men appropriating marginalised artists.

For issue four Tayler makes all our tween dreams come true, pairing up with designer Gogo Graham to pay homage to the (much missed) emo scene and we got to know the real life alien babe behind the portraits....

First off, tell us a bit about the shoot you've produced for us?

I'm regressing really hard right now. I went through the pop-punk/scene/emo phases through middle and high school and I love how unapologetic those moments were.

I wanted to return to the Hot Topic glory days and relive some teen angst actualities.

Side note- Gogo never went through these phases while in school and we very quickly realised she was born to be a scene queen.

You’ve recently started an instagram only space called Othen, What is Othen and what are your plans for the project?

Othen is my planet. It's a safe place for anyone who feels alienated by their experience on earth to visit or move to whenever they choose. Right now, it exists on Instagram and my hopes are that it will serve as a place for anyone to go and connect with a community that will offer love and support to one another.

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Other worldliness and aliens seem to be a recurring theme in your body of work, what is it that makes you return to these subjects?

I've always felt kind of outside of things- I don't know if it's because I'm an only child or because I'm asexual... maybe both? I like the idea that I was accidentally left behind by my people and that one day they'll come back for me. In the meantime, I do my best to understand how earthlings navigate this weird planet.

To us, your photography always has a sense of intimacy, as if there is a relationship between you and the sitter and you aren't just strangers. With that in mind, do you pick who you shoot carefully or form a bond with them whilst shooting?

That's probably because i lay on the floor a lot and yell dad jokes at my sitters. It's really a mixture of both. I try and make whatever studio I'm working in feel really safe. Portraits have a lot to do with mutual trust. I want each photo to be something where the sitter feels very actualised, like they are truly seeing themselves in the image that I make of them.

thing

ter by Swea

n Clo Rowa

I read that you attribute your interest in photography to the accessibility of cameras for our generation, but what made you take the step from point n shoot selfies in the mirror to progressing into taking yourself seriously as a photographer or visual artist?

It was just a natural progression out of curiosity - seeing if I could get the equipment to make what I was seeing in my head. That gave me the framework of how the machine works.

Now I've been dreaming a lot about old flip phone cameras and kids Fisher Price cameras.

Is your work designed to be consumed online and, if so, how does that affect your process?

Seeing my work in print is really satisfying (did I just break the fourth wall?) because it makes me feel like I've made a real thing. But then I remember the kind messages I receive online when my work is accessible and am reminded of how important it is to find some kind of balance between the two.

Do you feel like the art and fashion worlds are changing in terms of representation of marginalised bodies or is this move towards *gender fluidity* and *diversity* just a trend?

I think there's a lot of stepping forward and backwards at the same time, but in general I see a lot of positive movements towards representation being made. It's just a matter of patience and persistence. If we act out the change that I want to see, maybe it'll become a reality sooner rather than later.

Words by Ione Gamble

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Photography by Chloe Rosolek Styling by Jilian Banjoko Set by Amy Exton Make-up by Julia Edwards

Hair by Perry @ Bluetit Salon Fashion Assistant- Jessica Edwards Featuring Molly Soda All clothing by Namilia unless otherwise stated

As fashion and feminism become closely tied together, the question of whether both can exist harmoniously becomes ever present. But while it’s increasingly likely that most companies, from high street chains to internet service providers, are using the bravado of ‘girl power’ to boost sales, not all labels have a hidden agenda.

Inspired by a new wave of sexually liberated women flaunting their sensuality via instagram and owning it, Berlin based duo Namilia aren’t too bothered about freeing the nipple. Instead, their first collection (showcased with Vfiles during fashion week) sought to subvert arguably one of the greatest power symbols of all time: the penis.

But poking fun at the phallus wasn’t the brands only aim with their catwalk debut. Muses for the collection ranged from Kim Kardashian to Arvida Bystrom, with garish prints and meme style slogans taking centre stage , the collection reflected the multiplicity and reality of living life online. With the brand currently holding the helm of designers with a social message and killer aesthetic, we asked one half of the duo, Nan, to plot his top points on what he’s learnt – about both clothes and feminism – one year on from the labels inception.

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“For me, I kinda grew up in a generation where it was all about oneself, about individuality and how to express oneself. It really wasn’t cool to identify yourself with a movement or a group because that meant that you weren’t “individual” and “unique”. I think that social media is really a new tool for young people to connect to each other and to speak up their minds and that it has become important and cool again to be part of something bigger than yourself.”

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Shoes by Mista

“I totally think that being an instagram celebrity is the same as traditional celebrity.... It’s the same thing. Instagram is realityjust look at Kim Kardashian and how she has built up a ‘real’ empire from reality TV and social media. We don’t even know or care about her ‘real’ personality and background. She has created this virtual persona that we are obsessed with.

For me Arvida Bystrom was one of the first girls on this new feminist movement that really celebrated and worked with female cliches.

It’s a new form of female empowerment that shows how something cute, sexy and everything that is girly can be empowering as well and that’s basically our message as a womenswear brand.”

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“I think that IRL queer and feminist spaces were created because there was nowhere else to communicate with each other and identify as a group. Nowadays information spreads mostly online, and even though I also think that it’s sad that queer venues and spaces are shutting down – and that there is definitely a difference in experiencing a feeling of belonging and identification in reality rather than online – online platforms play the main role now regarding community and information.”

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“We approached the penis in quite a punk way I believe.

In art history and general society the phallus shape has always been this symbol of power strength and masculinity.... And we took it and turned it into something cute and playful like a trim, a lace, print and even a historic damask pattern. It’s about playing down this symbol of ultimate power and to ridicule it. It’s like playing the penis game where the louder and more often you say it the less frightening and intimidating it becomes.”

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“For so long the internet has been considered an almost dangerous space where anyone can access any information and that you have to be careful of what you expose of yourself to.

Nowadays I think the internet has a much more positive feel amongst the youngest generation because we were born with it. It wasn’t something completely new that came into our lives. Instead it’s totally natural.. I think this is why we’re really embracing its possibilities whilst people a bit older are still hesitant.”

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“For a lot of people, virtual content is not “reality” but that is also the question for me of why something online is not as valuable as in reality, and what does reality even mean?

I mean the whole fashion system is still the same as 60 years ago!! We work in collections for 2-4 seasons and you see the images right instantly when they come out but then the products hit the stores 6 months later and in the meantime you have already seen the pre collections, and the new collection is just about to come out, and I wonder if there is still any interest left in what was presented 6 months ago. I feel nowadays our attention span is definitely a lot shorter than 50 years ago, which I don’t think is necessarily a bad thing but we just have to adjust to that. I think that’s just the system itself. If everything was run by 16 years olds I think it would be a lot different ;)”

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Words by Ione Gamble

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ll Da vis

Ter re

s d r a w Back Beauty s d r a d n Sta e r e h W and m e h T to Find

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I am a Glinda of self-love and body positivity – I exist in a bubble, where the reality of struggling with beauty standards isn’t so much of a reality, but a concept. By writing repeatedly on the subject and promoting others who are activists in this field, I forget how the real world, and how the real world’s girls see themselves. Because it’s not so simple as preaching self-love and posting misandry filled memes. We can weaponise our femininity and share Femen’s protests on Facebook, but it’s only a core of similar minded friends who like these articles.

Am I getting through? Am I living a lie? Because as much as I like to believe the world’s moving forward with acceptance, with self-love, with challenging traditional beauty standards - the reality is so much more different once I burst through my makebelieve.

Body positivity has become a buzzword: a label to try to assign to all the celebrities we adore, in order to make our love of them more feminist friendly.

It’s an easy list piece for websites to churn out about every award show, every premiere, every music video, every possible event where a “body positive” act may have occurred. Does this dilute the message or make it more widespread?

Do we actually care or are we just selling stories?

The trope of the bra burning feminist in the 60s is an accurate one; women who were far more concerned with their issues to even consider the bigger fights that needed to play out first. The white feminist struggle continues today: the popularity of #FreeTheNipple and dyed pubic hair for the women who are comfortable enough with their media celebrated white, thin bodies to bare all in a carefully filtered Instagram snap. We’re awarded a sense of fake liberation that we’re finally getting somewhere, because Murdoch funded magazines are finally hashtagging feminism.

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In an act of self-love and selfpreservation, Instagram star Essena O’Neill publicly quit social media this year.

For her, the pressure to be perfect was magnified by social media and selfie culture. By trying to be a role model, she harmed herself irreparably – combining disordered eating with an unhealthy amount of exercise so she could be classed as fitspiration.

“14 Ways #FreeTheNipple Is Totally Body Positive” makes excellent clickbait, behind the scenes and behind our screens we can learn about intersectionality, about feminism and about how to love ourselves regardless of the media’s perceptions of beauty.

But our insecurities don’t just stem from our differing online presences and personalities. Our celebrities and our society are selling us outdated ideas of femininity and beauty. As easy as it is to succumb to invented pressures – I did.

Although I tried to justify exactly how a waist trainer would fit in with my positive body image, it doesn’t. Damaging our organs and our self-esteem to try to reshape our bodies is far from natural and far from the self-love I spend each day spreading to others.

She says that her only relationship with fitness was an aesthetic one and the journey to reach those aesthetics was a path of self destruction. As she put it, “I can't say I'm an inspiration for meeting society's impossible standards for women.”

Every time I have to catch a bus after 3pm on a week day, I praise the high heavens that Snapchat didn’t exist when I was in secondary school.

This return to corsetry, a century on, Imagine the chaos. An off day would is ridiculous. It’s never be forgiven, embarrassing. let alone forgotten.

It’s stupid. As I "As much as any and Even now, as my pushed my flesh Facebook gloatingly and fat into a all feminist websites gives me 2009 fake hourglass, I and online magazines flashbacks every knew I was doing day, I can’t help may want you to believe wrong. An hour but cringe that later, when I was so much of my it, not everything we pretending to be adolescence comfortable as do in this world can is documented I pottered about online. be classed as a body my bedroom,

positive The pervasive nature of our online lives impacts us in so many ways. An awful picture can’t simply be torn up and thrown away. But still, I’m not nostalgic for an age that I barely remember existing. It’s ignorant to pretend that social media and the internet hasn’t pushed us into a new era of acceptance and self love. With new body positive campaigns starting almost every day, with new internet role models gaining popularity and preaching feminism from their social media accounts, with every celebrity’s actions being turned into a statement on self love? It feels that although the internet has produced a whole new world of pressures for us all, it’s also spawned a new wave of empathy and solidarity. Whilst

act."

I knew I was lying to myself.

Because as much as any and all feminist websites and online magazines may want you to believe it, not everything we do in this world can be classed as a body positive act.

Even with the right spin on it. Even with a list of five far reaching reasons as to why it is.

And how could it possibly be?

Damaging our self-esteem and our insides with an archaic form of female torture that I thought we’d left behind with the Victorians. There’s no justification for it. No ifs or buts.

The adding of latex or latches or zips makes no difference. It’s a marked and well marketed return to restrictions and rules that women before us fought to end.

Similarly, our obsession with perfection has travelled up our bodies and onto our faces. Long before the controversies of contouring, make up has been an art form, and I think it’s wholly unfair to dismiss all make up as pandering to the patriarchy. Especially as make up doesn’t and shouldn’t cater to men.

Especially as make-up doesn’t solely belong to cis women.

is heightening, bigots are lowering their tolerances. Whilst I’m discussing the constraints some women may feel by corsetry and contouring, attention to the violence inflicted by others, not just to ourselves, should be recognised.

Our beauty standards may be getting more and more extreme – almost farcical – but so are our reactions to them. Whilst women were forced into corsetry a hundred years ago, now we have the choice. Whilst Heat magazine is still picking apart C Listers on their front page, now the same women can retaliate on their Twitter accounts. Whilst body shaming and beauty standards are still running rampant on and off the internet, campaigns and communities now compete to alter these perceptions and allow all women to find their worth.

So, as I go on to critique contouring, I want to keep in mind that this practice isn’t one invented by a cis woman, nor with cis women in mind. Even the Kardashians’ in house make-up artist Joyce Bonelli recently explained to Vice that the inspiration for her infamous “transformational make-up” has no roots in cis women’s New beauty culture. Instead "Body positivity has standards and she’s influenced new platforms for by the pre-CGI become a buzzword: a them may appear horror make-up label to try to assign daily, but so does of her childhood, the opposition to drag queens and a to all the celebrities we it. When I return to transgender teen adore, in order to make cases like Essena she met growing O’Neill’s, I don’t feel up who was, in her our love of them more that social media words, “sevenfailed her, but the feet tall and was feminist friendly." community she the most feminine found on there. creature I had ever Because without the place I’ve carved out met.” for myself online, I would still be self-hating, self-obsessed and depressed to boot.

Yet its origins doesn’t give contouring And without the discovery of highlighter, I a free pass when it comes to beauty wouldn’t get to be the glittery little bitch I am standards. Especially as contouring hits today. the mainstream. Especially when a 13 year old girl can purchase a contouring Words by Georgina Jones kit for £3.99. Especially when the Illustration by Panteha Abareshi practice stands accused of racism – as it seeks to transform faces to a white, European standard of beauty. And least of all, when contouring causes controversy among young men, along the lines of “you don’t really look like that”.

As interesting as a think piece towards the emotional issues of applying makeup is, the reality of changing standards expected from women is much more than an article idea. In 2015, transphobic attacks have gone up by 25% in London - as reported in figures released by the Met Police. As much as visibility

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By Ayesha Tan Jones

Alexan dra we ars Mary B enson

Photography by Rebecca Zeph yr Thomas, Sty Lidstone, Hairb ling by Jilian Ba y Sven Bayerba njoko, Set by Ale ch, Styling Assis Fashion Assistan xandre Simoes, tance by Jess, t- Jessica Edwa Makeup by Rebe Photography As rds kah sistance by Cre ssisower Butts ,

by Anna ose wears dress This page: Lola-R x Melissa son Ben ry Ma by Goswami, shoes

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Right: Christina wears headress by Mary Benson x Stephen Jones, dresses by Fyodor Golan and Dagda

This page: Cecelia

wears hat by Mary

Benson x Stephen

a Goswami, Right:

Jones, dress by Ann

Manna wears dress

by Mary Benson x

Stephen Jones

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Words and photography by Scarlett Carlos Clarke

I’m Skype calling Antonia Marsh, who is in Paris, and the screen keeps freezing on her face mid way through eating a baguette… Antonia is the founder of Girls Only, a collective and residency programme supporting female artists across the globe.

She is also a curator and artist in her own right, exhibiting her work worldwide and providing platforms for underrepresented voices in the art world.

Scarlett Carlos Clarke: How come you’re in Paris?

Antonia Marsh: I’m going to the countryside tomorrow to do photos of this band who are recording in Normandy, but I’ve got friends in Paris so I thought I may as well stay here for a night.

Scarlett: How old are you and where were you born?

Antonia: I’m 27 and I was born in London Scarlett: What is Polski - Skelp and what does it mean?

Antonia: Polski - Skelp is my shit tumblr of photos, and it means Polish shop because my mum’s Polish so I thought it would be funny.

When I went to school there were loads of them in Hammersmith.

Scarlett: Oh yeah, I remember those. On another subject- do you ever feel like you want to be solely the artist or do you think there is no boundaries between being an artist and the curator?

Antonia: I think being solely the artist is a fantasy for me because it’s never something that I’ve been fully.

Scarlett: Do quite a few curators dip in and out of working on art projects themselves or wanting to be the artist?

Antonia: A bit…. think it’s a push to say that.

Sometimes that happens but I feel like a dick when I do that. I think it’s more fluid in the opposite direction, as if it’s a brain synapse where there is more electricity coming out of one direction than the other. Artists more often take on curatorial roles than curators taking on art roles. I used to cringe when someone asked me what my job was and I said ‘curator’ but now that I’ve done so much curating, I feel comfortable and at ease saying it. Takes getting used to though.

Scarlett: I’m still like that with photography.

When you’re starting out, it’s almost like you haven’t earned it yet, or, because I’ve had no training it feels wrong. How did you feel about lying on my sofa made of sausages?

Antonia: I felt really special that you’d bought me the sofa and the fact that it was 99p because it didn’t really make any sense…I felt really good lying on your sofa of sausages…it was a bit greasy and smelly though.

Scarlett: Only Tescos finest for you! Are you based in London?

Antonia: I’m not really based anywhere at the moment, I’m currently based in London but not for very long. I’m going to India soon and after that I’m doing a residency in Manchester.

Scarlett: Girls Only is a platform for young female creatives. How do you actually help young creative talent?

Antonia: I’m just trying to make as many opportunities for female artists as I can.

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Scarlett: Just female artists?

Antonia: No, not just female artists. Sometimes we work with boys. I guess curating is giving people an arena to exhibit their work.

Scarlett: Do you think it’s important to try and keep Girls Only as a platform for girls only?

Antonia: Well the whole ethos is to make more opportunities for female artists, like, level out the playing field in the art world, but I wouldn’t want to reinforce or reverse the problem that exists already.

If a guy wants to be in a girls only show, I think that’s awesome…if they have the guts to ask then good for them, why would I say no? That’s doing exactly what patriarchy has been doing.

Scarlett: I was inspired by your new zine, Food Diary, and its aesthetically pleasing photographs.

What made you want to do a zine about food?

Antonia: People think food pictures are kind of ‘cheesy’ but I actually think they’re really interesting, I think of them as awesome still-lives.

Food imagery is nostalgic - a picture of me eating my baguette now in Paris, or a dinner table at the end of an evening with wine stains on it is much more of a memory for me than, say, a photo of the Eiffel Tower…

Scarlett: What did you eat today and what’s your favorite food?

Antonia: I’m right now eating a salami baguette but my favourite is Japanese food.

Scarlett: You are well known for taking a fierce selfie, you come across quite ballsy.

I think it’s really interesting - that idea of building up a persona through social media.

Its also kind of scary and narcissistic too.

People like Sarah Lucas and Tracey Emin were showing their balls and honesty through their work and attitude, do you think Instagram is just a quicker way of doing the same thing now?

Antonia: It’s so interesting that people can think I’m brave and well ‘ard on Instagram, whereas if you meet me, I’m a bit of a doofus. I think it’s just how I come across online. It’s not like I intended anything or constructed anything. It’s difficult to answer a question about having personas because I don’t think I ever did construct a persona.

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Scarlett: Do you prefer London to New York?

Antonia: No, they’re totally different Scarlett: How? Antonia: ln New York everyone’s on top of each other, and I think that affects the pace of people working. In New York, everyone’s making so much work as fast as possible, there are shows going up everyday and here and because there’s so much of it people aren’t as competitive, so they’ll help each other out a lot and there’s a lot more sharing.

Whereas in London it’s much slower… maybe in London it’s not so much about quantity but quality? I dunno…

Scarlett: I guess America has that kind of overly ’positive attitude’ which Brits aren’t really used to.

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Antonia: People want to help each other out more, other artists aren’t seen as such a threat like they are to people in London. London is more competitive because it’s smaller and there’s a different attitude.

Scarlett: In London, you go out and get drunk and have all these great plans of all the things you are going to do and achieve and meet people who say they can help you but the next day it’s over… whereas I swear in America if you had a night out and a stranger promised you something or said they could help you out, they’d probably mean it…

Antonia: I don’t talk to strangers.

Scarlett: Hahaha.

Do you think it was really important for you to study curating for so many years, or do you think you could have still been a curator without doing formal training?

Antonia: For me, yes, it was important but I don’t think it is for everyone.

Scarlett: I like the kind of DIY attitude you have and the way you seem to be able to just ‘throw’ these shows together. It feels exciting and fun, almost like you’ve had to find your own way of curating and go against everything you were taught?

Antonia: Yes, they teach you all about how you need to be able to talk about the relationship between two images on a wall - I personally don’t think this always matters but when they teach curating they want you to be thinking like that.

Scarlett: Lastly, when are you going to start drinking again?

Antonia: I don’t know but i’ll text you.

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Blouse by Kate Rolison

Photography by Sacha Burrows Assisted by Phoebe Burrows Models- Ellen Jasper and Poppy Isabella Hannam Styling, concept and all clothing commisioned by Alice Whiting

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Jeans

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nah H

ill

Catsuit by Micronation

Necklace by Milena

Kovanovic

Dress by Ka te

Rolison

VOXY LADY Photography by Meg Lavender Styling by Lucy Bonner Makeup by Robyn Fitzsimmons

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“It don’t bother me to be honest,” are Liv Wynter’s feelings towards having a day job. “I worked full time alongside my degree and have always managed to somehow juggle it. I’m at Ann Summers in Stratford now, and it’s fucking sick.” After getting up for work at 6am this morning and attempting to write a semi-coherent article, her words are giving me a much needed kick up the arse. “I’ve worked since I was 15 and had full time jobs since I was 18… Also having to work helps me combat my sad days and motivates me to utilise my other time better for writing and practicing.”

you just don’t read the YouTube comments and remind yourself you’ve been through far worse. Also, I’m fucking quick on a one liner so I’m not worried.” I have to hand it to her – “Pedro you’re a big boy, you should leave the Lynx alone and maybe give cologne a fucking go,” was pure brilliance and something that should be suggested to most cis white men.

So moving away from the rap battle scene, I ask Liv to tell me about her new project which I have seen advertised across her FB and Tumblr pages, Headfuck.

Because when Liv is not helping “people access “So, yeah let me explain this because I’m pleasure all day,” she is a self-proclaimed queer thinking about it so much at the moment. female artist who is “struggling with my definition Headfuck is a series of one to one a little,” at present. For those not in the know, Liv performances on Skype that take place “writes texts, or poems, or rants, or whatever at 1am. The reasons for this are many, I you wanna call them, and I normally perform guess I’m trying to simulate those really them live.” She tells me that most people know important conversations you have with her from poetry gigs, or from watching her your ex/someone close/whatever in the versus a guy called Pedro on YouTube. I would dead of night where you’re tired and the recommend that you check this video out, as conversation leaves you in a headfuck.”

Liv absolutely slays aforementioned Pedro in She continues excitedly, “You know where a freestyle rap battle, cussing out his weed you think about someone all day, and you promoting Facebook page try to remember their exact words. I’m and generally epitomisation interested in creating intimacy, or of the white, rude boy simulating intimacy. I’m constantly "As a rape stereotype. However, “I talking about my work and myself victim and don’t fuck with battle rap to friends and being like ‘it’s gonna anymore,” she tells me. be too much, it’s too far, it’s too a victim “I think me vs Pedro was intense’ and I guess I’m always of domestic important, and I shoulda trying to get just close enough left it there.” Liv goes on to the edge without crashing violence, to explain, “My last battle, down.” It sounds intriguing and every single the one where I choked undeniably relatable, but I still all my rounds and had a don’t really understand what it day I stand on quite visible panic attack, is – thus doing exactly what it was a sign that frankly says on the tin, I suppose. both feet is a you have to be at your fucking hardcore fucking strongest as Performing at the RA for a woman to be in that Ai Weiwei’s solo show is rebellious environment. Not just not something I exactly political act." a woman actually, as a would have had a young queer woman who is an rapper-come-poetryopen victim of domestic abuse and writer down for. According to Liv, the sexual violence, standing in that hostile experience was, “some crazy shit” space was probably a bit insane.” For me where “they basically asked me to personally, just watching her rap battle come spit some bars under this big videos was insane. There are next to no chandelier.” She recounts, “I wasn’t females making up the rowdy audiences allowed a microphone, there was no surrounding her, the environment is one announcement, there was the world’s seeping with competitive, testosterone smallest sign and half the security fuelled energy and there’s also a camera didn’t even know I was supposed to be shoved in your face whilst you’re trying there. Some old white lady came up to think on the spot. I wonder, as a rather to me mid flow and said in my ear ‘no shy and awkward soul, how you would one can even hear you’. My fave thing deal with the insults spat in your personal was people with their headphones on space, ranging from ‘slag dyke’ to ‘failed not knowing I was doing anything and pornstar’ or, personal favourite, owner walking in front of me.” Despite the fact of ‘the shittest earrings I’ve ever seen’. that “they didn’t even fucking pay me Liv brushes this off, insisting, “it’s easy, and they’re the RA you know?” which

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doesn’t surprise me one bit, she says, “it was a fuckery, but a fuckery I am eternally grateful for.”

I always tend to ask people about their degrees and whether or not they enjoyed their university experience – but especially so to art school graduates. Liv went to Goldsmiths, completing a BA in Fine Art but insists, “it made me who I am, but more down to my peers than my tutors.” She backtracks, commenting “or maybe that’s harsh, but what I mean is that it gave me a place to grow. I wouldn’t have survived a degree at any other school, so I feel blessed I got to go there where I felt like I had the right amount of freedom.” I couldn’t agree with her more when she reminisces, “my degree taught me how to use the rules to fuck with the rules, and the importance of institutional critique. It also "I’m always made me feel fucking stupid, a trying to get just lot, but that’s what going to uni does I guess.” close enough to

the edge without crashing down."

So what about the here and now? I wonder what 2016 holds for Liv? “Well hopefully some residencies. I dunno man, lets hope someone reads this and is like ‘fuck, lemme give her some paid work’. The photos are hot, so maybe page 3. I don’t know. I just follow my feet and try not to jinx myself.” Potential offers, hit me up for her email address.

I also feel like Liv is cool as fuck, crazily talented and also very real. Watching her raw, open apology to her body delivered directly to camera, is just as brave as freestyling infront of a group of jumped up, cocky lads. I wonder what inspires such a fierce, courageous woman. “I seek inspiration in my friends, in Facebook statuses and drunken texts, and people that don’t love you back, and the people that come hug me after gigs, and friends I cry to, and Twitter and grime and music videos and just, life I guess.” She seems to absorb the world around her and eloquently spew it back out in a way that makes you think and question your own.

She isn’t afraid to be crude, or explicit or to make people feel uncomfortable.

And why should she? “You know what, as a rape victim and a victim of domestic violence, every single day I stand on both feet is a fucking hardcore rebellious political act.”

Words by Beccy Hill

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Hello Celia, right now my life is in turmoil. About six months ago I began a playful friendship with one of my co-workers. Seeing him all the time and having these great encounters made it seem like he was perfect. One night I accepted an offer to go see a movie.

I said yes and told my high school sweet heart of four years I was staying late at work that night. Our time together was amazing and I had so many mixed feelings.

He kissed me that night and the following night I decided I would fuck him, and I did.

We continued this affair for four months. I still loved my boyfriend but I wasn't sexually attracted to him like I was supposed to be. With pressure from my new guy, I broke up with my sweetheart. This was the hardest thing I have ever experienced so far in my life. I began actually dating my co-worker and at first it seemed to be going amazingly, but now I feel like I really miss my ex. I can't get him out of my mind, but I know I don't really want to be with him again. Who do I really love? What should I do?

Anonymous Dear anonymous, This is a really complicated situation you’ve got yourself in. I can’t tell you who you really love, but I do think you’ve got to move on from your ex. Firstly because you clearly weren’t feeling satisfied in the relationship (which happens, and need not diminish the happy years you had together). Secondly, because you broke his trust, it would be unfair of you to bounce back to him now. You did not mention whether you told your ex about your affair when you broke it off but I think it would be wrong to expect him to return to how it was.

Thirdly you say you miss him but you don’t really want to be with him.

So I don’t think you love him. Maybe you did love him. Love can come and go. Maybe you will love this new guy, although a relationship built in secret brings with it a whole new set of potential problems.

Remember that you do not need to be with anyone right now. You can spend time with yourself and figure out what it is you want. Missing someone is normal, and though it might be painful, it is sometimes best to leave someone in the past.

All my best, Celia

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Dear Celia, I know this is a really mundane question, but I want to dye my hair pastel pink but can't afford to get it done at a salon. My hair is currently dark brown and quite coarse/thick. What would you recommend? Should i go for it or not bother? Any product tips on how you've kept your hair healthy over the years?

Yours, Bleach Virgin Dear Bleach Virgin, I totally understand your dilemma! It is can be scary to jump into a new/unnatural color from your natural hair – especially when you are doing it yourself! While it is likely possible, whether or not to go through with it depends on your expectations and what condition you want your hair to be in. Because your hair will get damaged, it’s important to be realistic about what you want (pastels are harder than more vivid colors). That said it shouldn’t be too bad if it’s your first time bleaching it (it might take a few bleaches to get it light enough though). If you want a change badly enough, it is worth a try because (and people tend to forget this golden rule): hair grows back. It can get damaged and brittle from processing, but you can always cut it and start fresh. On the other hand, if you care more about the length and condition of your hair than color, it might not be worth the potential damage. That is totally your call. My recommendation is to go slowly if you decide to bleach (wait a few days between bleaching and deep condition a lot). And rather than products, I recommend avoiding heat to keep your hair healthy – heat does lots of damage so avoid when it’s not necessary! And use hair oil and masks.

Good luck!

Celia

To Celia, I've just started my third year of university and i'm struggling with my mental health and juggling trying to maintain a social life with my studies and outside work commitments. How do you deal with keeping up with your vlogs, friendships, studying, and anxiety? i don't want to lose out on anything but also feel like my anxiety is increasing as a result of having so much to do.

Illustrations

by Hatti Re x

Please help! Antonia Dear Antonia, You are certainly not alone in this. With school, work, friends, dating… I feel anxious just thinking about trying to juggle it all. That’s why I allow myself to briefly drop some things in favor of others. Sometimes I have to let go of plans with friends to study, other times I have to let myself skip out on studying in order to spend time with friends or have some alone time. Letting go of one commitment does not mean you can’t pick it back up again when you’re able. Anxiety is like another ball we constantly have to juggle except this one we can’t put down (not for long anyway). It makes us fumble the rest of what we’re holding, and makes us doubt our ability to keep them in the air. You do not have to juggle everything at once, though. Focus hardest on what gives you the most fulfilment and happiness. Remember to give yourself a break when you need it, and if you fall behind on something (like I often do with vlogging), remind yourself that you are only one person. You can only do so much at one time. Thankfully, time keeps coming, and if you take care of yourself, you will be here to do things at your own pace.

Take care, Celia

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Boobtube by O’Mighty, thong- stylist’s own, necklace by Mawi, bracelet by Mawi

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Down To Mars Girl Photography by Olivia Richardson Styling by Saskia Cole Hair and Make up by Robyn Fitzsimons

Rina Sawayama is the Japan-born, London-based singer and producer who recently proclaimed herself queen of “cute R’n’B”. After thorough investigation (in the form of a cute chat on a grey Saturday morning) we can confirm she’s worth the title.

Born in Japan, Rina moved to North West London when she was “four and a half”. After studying politics at Cambridge, she settled back in London, where she has been making waves in the past three years or so, producing music and being part of the cool crew of Anti-Agency models.

Her first foray into the music industry was the release of a 7” called “Sleeping In Waking” in 2013 on the independent label Make Mine, followed by the single “Terror”, which she released under the name RIINA. Both got her noticed by influential online magazines such as The 405 and The Line Of Best Fit, the latter describing “Terror” as nothing less than “fucking huge.”

A couple of years later, she is back with a new song called “Tunnel Vision”, to be followed by an EP of pop-infused R’n’B songs about Instagram following, online

Set by Aidan Zamiri Set Assistanct Aexandra Russo Production by Ione Gamble

empowerment and IRL awkwardness. “I can’t wait for this material to come out,” Rina says; and we feel the same way. The only song out at the time of writing, “Tunnel vision”, lasts only for a golden 1’55” and leaves us wanting for more.

Its winning formula combines breathy, FKA Twigs-esque vocals, a slow, hip-shaking groove and highly topical lyrics about our generation’s troubled relationship to the online world. The video for it was directed by pastel-obsessed photographer and Polyester collaborator Arvida Byström and perfectly captures the enticing, invasive nature of screens.

Rina’s lyrics are incredibly on point; have we not all been slaves to “notification happiness” and don’t we all know the angst of having “one hundred tabs open in [our] mind”?

When asked about her relation to the online realm, Rina sums it up pretty well by saying, “it should be nothing but it’s everything.”

This applies particularly to artists

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for whom mere existence often rhymes with online presence: “I feel like my workload as a musician is massively increased, especially as a female singer. I feel like there’s such an expectation for female singers to a) look 100% stylised and b) already look like pop stars from the moment that they’re on Instagram because that’s the draw.”

The internet is a wonderful platform for undiscovered talent, but Rina is not expecting anything from anyone. She differs from a lot of emerging artists out there because she is not on a hunt for a record deal. Instead getting signed is something Rina is open to “if the right person comes along” but it’s not at the top of her priorities list: “I do everything myself anyway”. So it’s no wonder that A lyric from “WBWUA”, Rina’s one of her all-time heroes is Grimes, next single after “Tunnel Vision”, the absolute queen of self-rule. The encapsulates the feeling of Canadian pop star recently posted a confusion that online identities telling picture on Instagram, which was can cause: “I’m losing sight of who entitled “Fillin out tha paperwork” and I’m meant to be in this reality.” showed a list of credits for her new The amazing video for “Where U album that featured no other name than are”, which Rina directed herself, hers. Like Claire Boucher, Rina knows reflects this difficult her shit. She relationship has been "There’s such between online and performing offline, fantasy and since an expectation for reality. Half of the school (a female singers to a) shots are of Rina in “performing a giant red fur coat one), look 100% stylised and artsy” playing electric guitar, joined her an invisible fan blowing first band at b) already look like her hair to complete the 18 (they were pop stars from the ultra-glamorous rock called Lazy star picture. “That’s my Lion and the moment that they’re imagination and that’s guitarist is on Instagram because what I should be doing, now in Wolf just rocking out and Alice) and that’s the draw."” playing guitar,” says Rina. soon after But the other half of the she started shots show a less idealised producing image of her taking selfies on her bed, music and writing songs on her own. and express the potential loneliness Although she demoes all her songs of screen life. “Sometimes, how I am herself on GarageBand, she is open online doesn’t translate how I am in real to collaboration and was recently life,” explains Rina; and her favourite in the studio with hip South London song of the upcoming EP, called “Cyber producer Tourist, a partnership that Stockholm Syndrome”, is about “a girl should be an interesting turn out. who’s really out there online but doesn’t really know how to act at a party.”

Rina has grown a lot as an artist since her beginnings and she brings Although navigating the borders between up that she now feels comfortable cyber and irl worlds is tough, online with the fact that she doesn’t get presence can connect people in the best her inspiration from the so-called of ways: “your music can travel so far “greats” – she cites 2pac and so quickly. For example I didn’t push my Motown – but instead swears single in Japan but it was on Japanese allegiance to Justin Timberlake: “I radio just because people found it grew up [listening to his music] on blogs!” and although it

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Rina wearing Pink Planet Body by Clio Peppiatt, white fluffy leg warmers Stylists Own, silver platform boots- Stylist’s Own, gem bracelet by Mawi

doesn’t sound as cool, that’s just the reality of it.” Feeling happy with oneself and one’s likes and dislikes is an integral part of Polyester’s philosophy and we’ve even made it our leitmotiv: “have faith in your own bad taste.”

Though does Justin qualify as bad?

Not so sure.

Apart from Grimes and Justin Timberlake, Rina cites Aaliyah, Mariah Carey and The Cardigans as part of her “ideal” inspirations list. Fab icons from the nineties anyone? As far as her contemporaries are concerned, Rina is grateful for being surrounded by a community of creative friends who are photographers, stylists, journalists, videographers… She just joined female collective and creative agency BBYFCE (BabyFace), and her friends include fashion photographer Thurstan Redding, our favourite pastel babe Arvida – “a good friend and mentor” – and flamboyant drag troupe Denim.

She feels part of a “community of people who are passionate about gender politics, queer politics and women’s rights” and wishes the music industry weren’t as “horrendously sexist”: “it seems like a lot of the industry is still made up of these dinosaurs who were around in the heyday of the music industry and now it’s so different, but it’s still a boys club.” When she’s not confronted with full-on misogyny, doubts remain and Rina finds herself questioning the intentions of male members of the music industry who want to “go for a drink”: “all those considerations mean that I can’t have a clean-slate, professional relationship with people.”

Between the hardships of evolving as a female artist in this still-sexist industry – and society – and the insecurities linked to our social media-obsessed culture, building a music career is not for the faint-hearted. But we trust Rina Sawayama has what it takes. She’s creative, aware and dedicated.

Plus, she’s a babe. l

Sola Words by Luna Cohen-

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Opposite Page- Top: Boots by Dolls Kill. Bottom: Jacket by Christian Cowan-SanLuis, Pants by Christian Cowan-SanLuis, Boots - Stylist’s own, Ring by Mawi

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Comic by Brie Moreno

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Polyester

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Carley Jean Andrews