Grief Has No Time Limit, Members Need Consistent Psychological Support

By Leah Thomas, President, South Simcoe Police Association

It’s hard to believe that it has been over one year since Morgan and Devon were killed in the line of duty. It’s been a tough year for many people within our Association, Service, and communities as a whole. Traumatic grief is different for everyone, and what I have learned over the last year is that there is no timeline for dealing with such trauma – it’s as individual and unique as a person’s fingerprint.

Immediately after learning that two of my colleagues (and friends) were involved in a shooting, my initial reaction was that of shock. How could something so horrific occur in our small family? I knew I had to get to the hospital and be there for our members. As I was informed when each passed away, I realized that I had to be stoic and strong for our members.

In many instances, I was the person who broke the news to them. They were falling and needed someone to catch them and help lead them through this grave tragedy. The first few days and weeks following their deaths, I was in autopilot mode, going through the motions and helping people. I did not have time to grieve or even think of my own well-being. As the Association President, people looked to me for help and guidance through these uncharted waters. Other members of our Association Executive also rose to the occasion and were there to support our members.

Some members immediately needed to take time off work to process their grief. Many approached our Executive Members they felt comfortable with to assist them with the paperwork. The paperwork from WSIB is not reflective of psychological trauma, which made it difficult for someone struggling psychologically to complete it entirely. This was the first of numerous obstacles members faced to satisfy WSIB’s requests. The forms are geared toward physical ailments, leaving many sections blank. We helped them through the initial leave process and their eventual return-to-work process.

Other members did not take time off right away because they felt the best way to process their trauma and grief was to be at work. A small subgroup sought psychological help during this time to help them work through everything. Others did not receive any form of help and are struggling to this day with the trauma. There is still the stigma that first responders are infallible and need to be strong, and devoid of any emotion. There is also a mentality that it has been over a year since Morgan and Devon died, and it’s time to move on. This is very disheartening to hear because it plays into the old “tough it out” culture that fuels negative mental health stigmas.

As for myself, I am only now able to process the trauma that I experienced over one year ago. The six-month WSIB presumption clause does not work for many first responders and people like me who are only now coming to grips with our grief. During the past year, people were afraid to talk about Morgan or Devon for fear of upsetting someone grieving or struggling in silence. We should all be allowed to grieve in our own way without any expiry dates associated with it.

Sometimes our roles dictate how and when we can grieve. I could not deal with losing Morgan and Devon for a very long time. I struggled in silence. Over time, the hurt has lessened, but the grief is still very present. Many, like me, will experience this grief every day for the rest of our lives. Coming into work every day to see their photos everywhere and the desks they sat at brings a flood of emo- tions. Some days, those emotions make me smile, while other days, the feelings are overwhelming and reduce me to a puddle.

There is no telling how grief will affect a person on any given day. I like to talk about them to keep their memory alive. I need to hear their names positively and not just in the horrific way they were taken from us. Hopefully, this small act of opening the lines of communication regarding grief will help reduce mental health stigmas in the workplace.

As an Association Executive, we supported our members’ needs when tragedy struck us. There was an outpouring of support from other services in the immediate aftermath, and for that, we are eternally grateful. As time passed, the supports slowly decreased to a point where they are no longer available. Members don’t have access to the same resources they had a year ago.

We are still very committed to our members and will continue to help them along their journey as they process or work through their grief. The trauma we all experienced last October will never be forgotten. Some members are still struggling with the grief, and it is reasonable to believe that it may continue for years to come. We are building a culture with our recruits and members that supports member well-being and open lines of communication where it would be okay to say, “I am not okay.” We will continue to assist our members in accessing support. However, access to psychological assistance needs to be more consistent, streamlined, and easier to navigate.