FEATURE
“SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO WALK THROUGH THE MUD BEFORE YOU FIND YOUR CALLING” How a fall from grace led a York Regional Police Officer to start a resiliency support group for accommodated members By Lauren Alpern
R
yan Harrison of the York Regional Police Service comes from a police family, and he wanted to become a police officer to make his father proud. But years of brushing traumatic work experiences under the rug started taking a toll, and the 20-year veteran began having night terrors. It got so bad that he couldn’t sleep, was unable to concentrate, was short with his kids, never took the same route to work and would check the locks on his doors a million times at night. “Imagine going to bed and waking up to the scariest thing that you could ever imagine happening to you – and reliving that night after night after night,” said Ryan. “It was intense, it was frustrating, and it was tiring.” That’s when the substance abuse started. Unfortunately, it was only a matter of time before it took over Ryan’s life. “It’s what I thought I needed to do to deal with this, and it was the only way I could get by,” said Ryan, who worked covert operations in the drug enforcement and guns and gangs units. “When you work in an undercover capacity, your adrenaline is so high, you expect it to come down. But I was scared all the time – scared for my family and scared of that lifestyle. It was one of those things that, as a police officer, you never want to admit. I always thought the worst. So, my anxiety always stayed high.” For Ryan, the anxiety of working under cover never went away.
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THE DISPATCH
WINTER 2023