The Perpetual White Elephant

By Roseanne Bottone

The origin of this term harkens back to the Kingdom of Siam (present-day Thailand). Traditionally, the King would gift an albino elephant (ergo, the “white” description) to his subjects with whom he was displeased. This was a ruinous “gift” because albino elephants required intensive care and were prohibited from working for their owners. Often this spelled financial disaster for the recipient.

In today’s modern times we’ve turned the idea of a “white elephant” gift into uproarious fun. A white elephant gift exchange between family or friends elicits lots of laughs, teasing, and thievery! The premise of the game is as follows:

1. Set a moderate price limit or range for gift purchases 2. The gift should be a “bad” one but campy or funny – and preferably something cool people might want 3. Everyone brings their wrapped gift to the gathering and anonymously places it in a pile 4. Each participant chooses a number – the higher the number, the better 5. Begin with person number one selecting and unwrapping a gift 6. Person number two can “steal” number one’s gift or select and unwrap a new one from the pile if he/she does not steal 7. Once a gift is stolen, it is “safe” and cannot be stolen again. 8. If a player’s gift is stolen, he/she can select another gift from the pile (which may wind up being stolen again) in the next round 9. A thief may only steal gifts held by people with a lower number 10. This process continues for each person in numerical order

Hopefully, the players will approach this holiday game with a sense of humor and playfulness. A few people will inevitably wind up with their last choice of a gift if they had their druthers. However, voluntary trading (including pleading and cajoling) is allowed.

What happens when the gift giving is supposed to be done in earnest — in other words, the gift is expected to be thoughtful and special, but a pesky white elephant trumpets its way into the exchange?

A friend related a story about his family’s annual gift exchange. Every year, a rum fruitcake appeared as a gift. I may be an enigma when it comes to this perennial staple; I like them! It’s either love or hate though, and many people do not share my predilection, including every member of my friend’s family! Even so, each Christmas some unlucky sibling, cousin, or in-law unwrapped yet another rum fruitcake. Or was it “another”? My friend’s father became suspicious about this “Groundhog Dayesque” recurrence and surreptitiously carved his tiny initials on the bottom of the tin. Sure enough, the following year, he was able to verify that it was the very same well-preserved fruitcake making the rounds!

We’ve all received the proverbial ugly sweater: a sandwichmaker when we’re on a low-carb diet, a book in a genre we’d never read, décor items inappropriate for our home, clothing items that are not our style, and others. What do we do with these gifts? Surely, we don’t want to thoughtlessly regift them so as to disappoint someone else with our very own version of the “Sisterhood of the Traveling Rum Fruitcake.”

Who knew? This year, the official event will be celebrated on Thursday, December 22, 2022. What’s not to say that someone else wouldn’t like or appreciate the things you don’t want? It requires thoughtfulness to do this right so that everyone is happy. The following four steps for successful regifting comes from the “National Days Today” website (https://www.nationaldaystoday. com/national-re-gifting-day/): To celebrate this National Re-Gifting Day, take stock of the gifts you haven’t used for whatever reason. Decide if you want to pass them on.

Choose your recipient wisely. It is essential to make sure you will give your gift to someone who needs or wants it for this process to be of true value.

To re-gift your unused and unwanted gifts always use fresh packaging. You might also create your handmade or personalized gift wrap for the new recipient.

Love the concept of re-gifting? Encourage friends and family to re-gift their unused gifts today and hereafter. Use #NationalReGiftingDay and #Re-GiftingDay to share on social media!

If an item can’t be returned or exchanged at the store, rather than regifting it to an individual you could: • Set up a free regifting table for your coworkers to leave unwrapped items for anyone to take • Have a real white elephant event at work (or with a club group) • Donate to a charity organization or food pantry • Sell the item online • Offer it on “free cycle”

Ask around — you may find someone who likes fruitcake and needs an ugly sweater for an ugly sweater party!

Roseanne Bottone is a regulatory compliance training instructor, former Peace Corps Volunteer, cancer survivor, grandmother, MBA, and freelance writer. She travels the country teaching business people about environmental and transportation safety regulations, and is a newspaper columnist. She’s a homeowner in East Stroudsburg and lives with her daughter, grandchildren, two cats and a Rottweiler.