Wednesday, January 25, 2017 • Whidbey News-Times
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CHALLENGES OF INTIMACY LATER IN LIFE :
There are additional factors affecting the sex lives of senior citizens, most of these factors simply complicate sex, rather than hinder couples from experiencing intimacy. While these physical factors are at play, intimacy can go a long way in helping senior citizens experience sex in a positive manner. Page 14
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Impacting generations page 12
A supplement to the Whidbey News-Times and South Whidbey Record
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Wednesday, January 25, 2017 • Whidbey News-Times
Program ensures seniors enjoys ‘Time Together’ BY KYLE JENSEN
kjensen@whidbeynewsgroup.com
On the surface, the Time Together Program at South Whidbey Senior Center is a health program for those in their twilight years that encourages activity in order to keep the mind and body fresh. But for the program’s participants, it’s much more than that. It’s a social hour where laughter, jokes and often precious moments are shared with close friends. “We’ve all become good friends,” member Dan Babbitt said. “We’re all in the same age group, and we all take care of each other.” Time Together has been on a mission for 20 years to combat the isolation that can often stem from physically limiting conditions as well as mentally deteriorating conditions such as Alzheimer’s and dementia. In the program, participants experience a sense of community and are given a platform to socialize on a regular basis. The program’s staff say encouraging participants to get out of the house and be part of group activities is a good way to avoid isolation and depression, and gives members something to look forward to every week. The benefits are evident when
Photo by Kyle Jensen/Whidbey News Group
Time Together Program Director Mel Watson (right) leads Gary Dronen and the rest of the program group in a sing-along of “You Are My Sunshine.” sitting in on the program. Jokes are exchanged and members give each other a hard time for good fun. People talk of their past, of current events and what lies ahead. The members are in the now, and the ubiquitous cheekto-cheek smiles are evidence of that. The program meets Monday through Friday and has space for 12 members. The South Whidbey Senior Center is aiming to expand the program to make room for more
people. A similar program in Oak Harbor is kicking off April 5. “There’s a difference between waking up in the morning and having your caregiver tell you you’re going to go out and do something today rather than stay at home,” Program Director Mel Watson said. “The difference is having a life and not having a life. Sitting in front of a TV can quickly assist in someone’s decline.” Staff members and volunteers lead the program through a range of activities. There is always an element of exercise.
Group chats are a daily feature, and discussions touch upon the participants’ past, historical events, medical and technological advances and the future. Program members can also be regularly seen flexing their creative muscle by singing, dancing and painting. The creative exercises have been known to make participants access certain memories and skills that haven’t come out in years. Watson says staff members also utilize technology to support
peoples’ memories with visual aids, while it also harbors an interest in modern technologies. “People often find new parts of themselves that they maybe never investigated themselves,” Watson said. “We always focus on what people are able to do, not what they’re unable to do.” Time Together also offers much needed respite for 24-hour caregivers and family members. Watson says the program is just as beneficial for the mental and physical health of caregivers as the participants. Caregivers are able to enjoy a four-hour break five days a week, giving them a chance to exercise or just unwind. Watson says it enables families to stay together longer, as caregivers don’t suffer from burnout. More than anything, though, Time Together keeps its members sharp. Regular social interaction goes a long way to allow participants to enjoy the now and the company of others. And there is room for new additions — both for the program and team of volunteers. “The companionship of meeting people you wouldn’t otherwise meet works pretty well,” Babbitt said. “It reminds me that if you think you’re old, you’re old. But if you think you’re young, you’re young.”
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Wednesday, January 25, 2017 • Whidbey News-Times
Page A13
Teacher’s impact reached far BY EVAN THOMPSON
ethompson@whidbeynewsgroup.com
Some things in life can have small beginnings. For retired teacher and 80-year-old Langley resident Jean Shaw, it all started by saying ‘yes.’ “Will you teach English?” asked Langley Junior/ Senior High School Principal Allan Good in 1974. Sure, she said. “Can you coach the girls’ basketball team?” Of course, she replied. “Can you put on a play?” Sure, no problem, she said. Shaw had no prior experience with teaching drama. “I was sort of that way in that year,” Shaw said. “I was jumping into whatever.” Though Shaw did not know it at the time, she was about to embark on a three-decade-long journey on South Whidbey as a teacher of the arts and drama who would impact generations of youths on South Whidbey. Along the way she would also become Langley’s first-ever woman firefighter, help start the South Whidbey Schools Foundation, coordinate community-wide talent shows and…well, the list goes on and on. She most recently helped South Whidbey High School Jim Freeman, who has worked with Shaw for 30 years at talent shows and with the schools foundation, said the key ingredient to her work is joy. Freeman and Shaw make regular trips to classrooms around the South Whidbey School District when presenting checks to teachers who utilize the foundation’s fundraising to help fund projects that the district would otherwise not be able to afford. Shaw is the foundation’s community liaison. “It’s part of her nature as
a human being,” Freeman said. “That joy translates to a cast, to a team, to a committee, to all of us. When you see someone acting like Tinker Bell, it’s pretty hard not to be Peter Pan.” Shaw participated in many plays and performances growing up in New Hope, Pa., but had no prior experience teaching drama when she accepted the offer to put on a play. Her living situation was far from suitable for her first few months on Whidbey Island; she and her three sons would live out of a 1955 Airstream trailer while they built their house on Coles Road. Shaw later transitioned to Langley Middle School, where she taught English, drama and journalism. Shaw left South Whidbey in the mid-1980s for New Hope after her father passed to help out at Solesbury School, a private school her father had started. Though on the other side of the country, Shaw maintained her ties with the arts in the South Whidbey School District, helping to direct and produce annual talent shows, musicals and other arts showcases. She was also the director of the education department at The Giraffe Project, a non-profit organization based in Langley that is dedicating to shedding light on those who stick their necks out for a common good. “I would come back and forth from being (in New Hope),” Shaw said. During her absence, Shaw said teacher Michael McInerney “really got drama going.” When Shaw eventually returned in the mid-1990s, she resumed her role as an active member in the drama and arts community. Shaw retired in 2007. At around the same time, the drama program lost its
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wind. “It stopped at one point,” Shaw said. “McInerney left.” That was until 2015, when a pair of intrepid South Whidbey High School students, Chloe Hood and Kari Hustad, requested Shaw’s help to rejuvenate the drama program. Shaw and McInerney joined forces once again and helped the drama program perform, “Almost Maine,” its first production in seven years. They later performed “Footloose” in November 2016. “They were so great about that,” Shaw said. Shaw is considered to be a role model by her friend and former neighbor Shirlee Read of Langley, from how to stay connected with the community to being a good friend. Read said that Shaw has the ability to connect with young people, even going as far as calling her a “genius with kids.” Read was also
Photo by Evan Thompson/Whidbey News Group
Jean Shaw, a Langley resident and retired teacher, looks through her lifelong scrapbook, “Bits & Pieces: 75 Years of Random Memories.” Shaw is considered an instrumental piece to the development of drama amongst youth on South Whidbey. impressed by her contributions with the arts and theater, and her ever-lasting energy and enthusiasm. “I’m not sure anybody could have pulled together some of the things they pulled together at the schools,” Read said. One of Shaw’s sons, Chris Gibson, thought Shaw’s work helped inspire
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nature, he said. “She’s been one of the icons for the arts on South Whidbey, as well as a lot of other people,” Gibson said.
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Wednesday, January 25, 2017 • Whidbey News-Times
Romance alive and well in aging population BY DANIEL WARN
dwarn@whidbeynewsgroup.com
A woman sneaks from her room — well past midnight — and creeps a few doors down for her nightly romantic rendezvous with her lover. No, this isn’t a story from some irresponsible summer camp or college dormitory. The setting was a nursing home. And the story comes from Dr. Brad Thomas’ 30-year career as a family doctor in Seattle. Now health officer for Island County, Thomas reflects on those humorous experiences with his aging client base, but also the issues that come with getting older and maintaining a healthy and active sex life. “I took care of this one family where I had three generations as patients and grandma was in the nursing home demented, but otherwise in really great shape,” Thomas said of the late night pleasure-seeker. “She, every night at 2 a.m., would get out of her room, turn left, walk down two doors and hop in bed with Mr. Smith, who was very appreciative of the visit,” Thomas said. “The nursing staff and the associated families all knew about it, and it was okay with everyone. The problem was the night that she turned right and walked two doors down and got into bed with Mr. and Mrs. Jones.” After the patient woke Mr. and Mrs. Jones, she
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had to be relocated to another facility, an example of how complications of advanced age can affect sexual relations in a unique way, Thomas said. Dr. Chris Bibby, a primary care provider with WhidbeyHealth, said that while there are additional factors affecting the sex lives of senior citizens, most of these factors simply complicate sex, rather than hinder couples from experiencing intimacy. “Both (aging) men and women slow down in their response,” Bibby said. “It’s not like you’re 20 anymore and someone bumps you the wrong way and you’ve got an erection. No, it takes a while to get an erection and to be excited. Same with a woman. Women tend to have vaginal dryness, tend to take longer to get lubricated.” Bibby said that while these physical factors are at play, intimacy can go a long way in helping senior citizens experience sex in a positive manner. “Intimacy starts not necessarily with sex,” Bibby said. “Intimacy: taking the time to appreciate each other, taking the time to spend time with each other, to cuddle with each other, to hold hands, to kiss, to do the things that we would consider intimacy. I think that’s first and foremost in any relationship, before you even get to the sex.” Beyond remedies born from intimacy, conditions
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like erectile dysfunction and vaginal dryness used to hinder sex amongst seniors in a much larger way than they do today because of the advent of medications for such conditions, Bibby said. Thomas noted that Viagra, in particular, changed the game for elderly men with erectile dysfunction, he said. Although, some believe STDs are on the rise among seniors. “With Viagra, there was a lot of interest in, ‘are we gonna unleash a torrent of STDs into nursing homes,’ and I think there has been some of that, but I don’t think it’s been a huge, huge problem,” Thomas said. “Especially not here.” Recent health statistics support Thomas’ view. Island County’s Assessment and Healthy Communities Director Laura Luginbill said in an email that she “did a quick run of the data on reported STDs among Island County residents age 65-plus years, and the numbers are so small as to be unrepeatable. Less than five every year.” Thompson said the reports are so low “partly because (senior citizens) just don’t get tested and partly because they just don’t think about it.” While STDs among senior citizens don’t appear to be an issue in Island County, there are several scenarios where they can be a health risk for an entire community, Thomas said, albeit a minor one. “The other complication issue is if — especially in a retirement facility or nursing home or something — you’ve got one sexually
functioning male and a lot of women,” Thomas said. “You’ve got a pool where potentially you could have a lot of exchange of STDs. But because it doesn’t impact fertility or pregnancy — there aren’t congenital birth defects in a 92-year-old that is going to have a kid — it has gone kind of undetected.” The potentialities of these health risks among seniors have gone largely unnoticed by younger generations, perhaps because people want to avoid mental images, Thomas said. “Who wants to think about their grandma having sex?” Thomas asked. “Even worse, who wants to think about their grandpa having sex? The STDs, if it makes them infertile? Too late. So it has kind of gone under the radar.” So much so that Thomas said he didn’t think health professionals typically recommend screening for STDs among seniors because the comparable health risks are so much lower as compared to those of younger generations. “Most of this stuff is self-limiting,” Thomas said of seniors. “If you get a herpes sore, it comes, it goes and may reoccur. But so what? If you get gonorrhea or chlamydia, it burns, it stings when you urinate for a while, and then it goes away. You are not gonna impair someone’s fertility or your own.” But precautions are available for seniors who want them. Bibby said safe sex is still the best way to go, regardless of age, when attempting to avoid the potential health risks of sex.
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al experiences in ways unique from younger generations, Thomas said. Yet the unique sexual experiences of seniors do not have to be negative. Both Thomas and Bibby agreed that sex is a wonderful aspect of life and is part of the joy of being human. When caring for elderly couples, Thomas said, it isn’t unusual for one of the pair to be unable to have sex for some time before passing on. One widower in particular sticks with Thomas to this day, he said. “There was specifically one old fellow, who — it was like somebody flipped a switch — he went from being 80 to being 50 because he found a new partner in his life,” Thomas said. “It was just amazingly transforming for the fellow. It was a great moment.”
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“Safe sex,” Bibby said. “It still applies, even if you’re 69 or 70. Know your partner’s history. If you have any questions, get tested beforehand. If you have any symptoms, get tested. Talk to each other before entering into a sexual relationship.” Beyond STDs, Bibby said the only other potential health risk to having sex among seniors is if one has a heart condition that warrants caution with physical exertion in general. “If you can walk up a flight of stairs without getting chest pain, then you’re okay to jump in bed, as far as I’m concerned,” Bibby said. If STDs affect all ages similarly, factors like dementia, erectile dysfunction and vaginal dryness may affect seniors’ sexu-
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Intimacy can go a long way in helping seniors experience sex in a positive manner, said Dr. Chris Bibby.
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Join us for the following February events and trips through the South Whidbey Senior Center at Bayview! • Estate Planning, Tues. Feb 7, 6-8pm, Free • LeMay Vintage Vehicles-Tacoma, Wed. Feb 8, $55/$65, 8am-5pm • Tulalip Casino-Marysville,Tues. Feb 14, $35/$45, 9am-4:30pm • NW Flower & Garden Show-Seattle, Wed. Feb 22, $40/$50, 8am-5pm Check out our full calendar of trips & classes at www.islandseniors.org