Seattle Weekly, December 16, 2015

GIVING GUIDE

CUTE CLOTHES FOR COOL KIDS, TREASURES FROM THE ISLANDS, BOOKS FOR EVERY READER, A WEST SEATTLE SHOPPING ADVENTURE, AND FOODSTUFF FOR STOCKINGS. PULLOUT &

Biblical Bites

Eve Fremont serves delicious food in a space inspired by the Garden of Eden.

By Nicole Sprinkle Page 12 DECEMBER 16-22, 2015 | VOLUME 40 | NUMBER 50

8-Bit Bummer The young, sad, local electronic producer that Russian YouTube loves.

By Kelton Sears Page 16

SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM | FREE

Getaway for the Holidays to Celebrate the Holiday Season in Little Norway

POULSBO

Little Norway

Experience traditional Norwegian celebrations!

Experience traditional Norwegian celebrations!

Take a break from hectic

Getaway for the Holidays to

Take a and break from city life travel to your Poulsbo's busy life and head to Little Norway, Little aNorway and our Historic Downtown Take break from your Historic Downtown Poulsbo.

Our lovely & Arts District.

This lovely waterfront town busy life andtown head is to aPoulsbo's waterfront perfect getaway is a perfect getaway anytime to enjoy family Little Norway and our Historic Downtown & anytime to enjoy family friendly entertainment andfriendly activities, fine Arts District. Our activities, lovely waterfront town is entertainment, ne shopping. and and casual dining, drinking fi and

Little Norway

acasual perfectdining, getaway anytimeand to enjoy family libations shopping.

• Poulsbo Art Walk - November friendly entertainment, activities,8fine and Experience traditional• Family Hayrides Father Christmas Startand shopping. casual will dining, drinking be in his house by the clock tower on Norwegian celebrations!

Santa’s House • Julefest Celebration - December 7 Saturday, Dec. 19 from 11-3; Sunday, Dec. 20 from 12-3

Free Hayrides

Famous Sluys Bakery

& Christmas Eve - Thursday, Dec. 24 from 11-2

Take your own photos.

Free.

Poulsbo Guest House International Take a break from hectic hectic 360.697.4400 Viking Carolers city life andSaturday, travel to Poulsbo's to Poulsbo's December 19, 11-4 guesthouseintl.com/hotels/poulsbo Little Norway and our our Historic Historic Downtown Downtown Poulsbo Inn & Suites Horse Drawn Carriage Rides & Arts District.

This lovely town This lovely waterfront town Saturday, December 19,waterfront 11-3. Free.

800.597.5151 | poulsboinn.com is a perfect getaway getaway anytime anytime to to enjoy enjoy family family Late Night Shopping thru Dec. 24 Just say "Thor Sent Me!" to get special friendly entertainment entertainment and and activities, activities, fine fine Friday & Saturday Nights til 8pm lodging rate.

Find drinking more infoand about holiday and casual dining, drinking and shopping. shopping. at participating merchants events at www.VisitKitsap.com/Poulsbo.

Farmer’s Market open Saturday, •Poulsbo Poulsbo Art Walk -- November 88 Dec. 19 Walk November Free Hayrides Free Hayrides For more info: www.historicdowntownpoulsbo.com • Family Hayrides Start Hayrides Start Welcome to the Kitsap Peninsula...the Natural Side and of Puget Sound Twitter @HistoricPoulsbo #lilNorway • Julefest Celebration December 77 Celebration December Facebook HistoricPoulsbo

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

Famous Sluys Bakery Just minutes by ferry, auto, bike or boat.

2

Poulsbo Guest House House International International 360.697.4400 guesthouseintl.com/hotels/poulsbo guesthouseintl.com/hotels/poulsbo Invite family and friends to enjoy a holdiay getaway to Poulsbo on the beauitful Kitsap Peninsula. Find lodging Poulsbo Inn & Suites Suites specials and event info at VisitKitsap.com/Poulsbo 800.597.5151 | poulsboinn.com poulsboinn.com Poulsbo Winter Farmer's Market - Open til Dec. 20 Just say "Thor Sent Sent Me!" Me!" to to get get special special lodging rate. Find more info about more info about holiday holiday events at www.VisitKitsap.com/Poulsbo. www.VisitKitsap.com/Poulsbo.

Welcome to the Kitsap Peninsula...the Natural Side Sound for more lodging, dining, events and things to do.

Natural Side of of Puget Puget Sound Just minutes by ferry, auto, bike bike or or boat. boat.

Poulsbo -- Open til Dec. 20 Poulsbo WinterFarmer's FarmersMarket Market Sat. til Poulsbo Winter Winter Farmer's Market Open tilDec. Dec.19 20

for for more more lodging, lodging, dining, dining, events events and and things things to to do. do.

inside

VOLUME 40 | NUMBER 50 SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM

December 16-22, 2015

23

SEATTLE WEEKLY’S PULLOUT

news&comment 7

9

SHELTER STORY

BY SARA BERNARD | Seattle’s homelessness crisis: one family’s struggle.

Plus: Mourning a lost public art form.

RADIO-(IN)ACTIVE

BY JOHN STANG | Why are the

whistleblowers pointing out Hanford’s continuing cleanup problems being elbowed aside? Take a gue$$.

GUIDE

food&drink

12 THE FOOD OF LOVE

BY JACOB UITTI | How Seattle chefs

impress romantic prospects.

17 | THE BAR CODE 13 | RESTAURANT REVIEW

arts&culture

14 ROCKY’S ROAD

BY SCOTT JOHNSON | A nostalgic

look back at nearly 40 years of underdogs, Cold War allegories, and chicken-chasing.

16 | MUSIC PROFILE 17 | CONVERSATION 18 | COMIX

19 REVIEWS

21 CALENDAR | | | |

21 THE PICK LIST 22 PERFORMANCE 22 BOOKS 22 VISUAL ARTS 23 | MUSIC 24 | FILM

odds&ends

26 | HIGHER GROUND 27 | CLASSIFIEDS GIVING GUIDE # 4 | Follows page 14.

cover credits

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY JOSE TRUJILLO

EDITORIAL News Editor Daniel Person Food Editor Nicole Sprinkle Arts Editor Brian Miller Music Editor Kelton Sears Editorial Operations Manager Gavin Borchert Staff Writers Sara Bernard, Ellis E. Conklin, Casey Jaywork Editorial Interns Cassandra Calderon, Scott Johnson, Mara Silvers Contributing Writers Rick Anderson, James Ballinger, Michael Berry, Alyssa Dyksterhouse, Jay Friedman, Margaret Friedman, Zach Geballe, Chason Gordon, Dusty Henry, Rhiannon Fionn, Marcus Harrison Green, Robert Horton, Patrick Hutchison, Seth Kolloen, Sandra Kurtz, Dave Lake, Terra Clarke Olsen, Jason Price, Keegan Prosser, Tiffany Ran, Michael A. Stusser, Jacob Uitti PRODUCTION Production Manager Sharon Adjiri

(206) 625-1900 WWW.5THAVENUE.ORG 2015/16 SEASON SPONSORS

OFFICIAL AIRLINE

PRODUCTION SPONSOR

CONTRIBUTING SPONSOR

RESTAURANT SPONSOR

SEE THE ZOO

Art Director Jose Trujillo Graphic Designer Brennan Moring ADVERTISING Marketing/Promotions Coordinator Zsanelle Edelman Senior Multimedia Consultant Krickette Wozniak Multimedia Consultants Julia Cook, Rose Monahan, Matt Silvie DISTRIBUTION

THAN EVER November 27 through January 3 NEW! Visit Santa on select evenings!

Get tickets online at zoo.org/wildlights

Distribution Manager Jay Kraus OPERATIONS Administrative Coordinator Amy Niedrich Publisher Bob Baranski 206-623-0500 COPYRIGHT © 2015 BY SOUND PUBLISHING, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. REPRODUCTION IN WHOLE OR IN PART WITHOUT PERMISSION IS PROHIBITED. ISSN 0898 0845 / USPS 306730 • SEATTLE WEEKLY IS PUBLISHED WEEKLY BY SOUND PUBLISHING, INC., 307 THIRD AVE. S., SEATTLE, WA 98104 SEATTLE WEEKLY® IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK. PERI ODICALS POSTAGE PAID AT SEATTLE, WA POSTMASTER: SEND ADDRESS CHANGES TO SEATTLE WEEKLY, 307 THIRD AVE. S., SEATTLE, WA 98104 • FOUNDED 1976.

BECOME A ZOOPARENT Looking for a special gift? Get your kit at the ZooStore when you visit WildLights!

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

Respecting the series’ core values, the new Star Wars film is a worthy successor to the first six. Also: the tale of a sexreassignment pioneer; Fey & Poehler; Caine & Keitel.

Editor-in-Chief Mark Baumgarten

Photos by Mark Kitaoka

HOLIDAY

3

chatterbox

“How dare a lady have a real interest in sports, without impressing a guy as her motivation?”

sports do so simply out of a desire to meet men.

Jen Rainwater wrote to say she was “taught to love baseball by the women in my family.”

Alyssa Dyksterhouse running down the benefits “While I’d never date a San Francisco Giants to be enjoyed by single women if they embrace, fan, I’m currently engaged to the love of my life, or even feign, an interest in local sports (“The a man who really isn’t that into sports besides the Girls’ Guide to Faking an Interest in Sports”). occasional football game,” she continued. “Your Dyksterhouse, who has been writing theater stereotypes and stupid lessons mean nothing.” reviews for the Weekly for years, noted that she’d Ingrid Tart-Remington wrote, “At first I come to her conclusions through personal expethought the message here was gonna be ‘Don’t rience. “In my 20s, I didn’t want to date some turn up your nose at sports because they can football-loving douchebag. Only later did I come actually be pretty cool,’ and I to realize how self-defeating was on board. But pretending to and unreasonable it was to judge Send your thoughts on like something to get attention the vast majority of men by this week’s issue to instead of to broaden your intertheir benign weekend hobby,” letters@seattleweekly.com ests is lame.” she wrote. Seattle women could Added Kaelin Carson: “How choose to shun the sports bar dare a lady have a real interest in sports, without when the Seahawks are on and instead go to “the impressing a guy as her motivation?” museum, a matinee, or the mall.” But there, she cautioned, “you will find precisely zero single, datable men.” “If you follow my action plan, Not all the feedback was negative. you’ll have better luck than with 100 right swipes Tom Dempsy wrote to say that Dyksteron Bumble,” she concluded. house’s logic cut both ways. “Knowing a little bit about ballet or opera or flowers or cooking, whatever she is interested in, makes you interestFor many reasons, readers took exception to the ing—in her eyes—instantly and automatically,” piece. It was the subject of at least two widely he wrote. “Word to the wise.” read critiques—one on the news blog Seattleish, “Witty, what a fun read. Sorry so many another on soccer blog Sounder at Heart—and chose to sling mud verses enjoy a different take heated debate on our own website. on sports,” wrote Hahana Bear. “I have been For some, the idea of a woman cultivating alone many a Sunday afternoon because of my interests in order to be more likable to men total dislike for sports. Should of had this to spoke to a bygone notion of femininity that is read years ago but then again it would have best left in the past. denied me the experience of Sunday matinee “This was written . . . in 2015? By a woman?”

Queen status.” user Shane wrote on our site. “Everything about this is wrongheaded, self-loathing, misogynistic, and the fact that there are women out there who, WHAT’S HIS NAME? in this day and age, honestly think that ‘Like Also last week, Rick Anderson recounted the saga what the boys like and be compliant, that’ll get of embattled Pierce County Prosecutor Mark them interested in you’ is quite sickening.”

Lindquist, who in a previous life was a celebrated Another man, Nate Chatterton, wrote: “Is this author. a satire piece? I sure hope so. Please let me have hope this wasn’t really written in 2015 by someThank you, Seattle Weekly, for picking up this one in Seattle as a serious piece.” (Depends on story. Mark Lintkrisp is a pariah on the Pierce your definition of “serious,” we suppose.)

County justice system. He likens our disdain One reader detected strains of Malibu Stacy, and distrust to literary criticism! Hardly. Literary the doll in The Simpsons known for her anticriticism is he’s a hack writer of D-grade crime quated thoughts on dating (“Let’s buy makeup so fiction. No, we criticize him for his abuse of the boys will like us!”) power. Tacoma tends to attract opportunists like “Or how about I don’t do that and just find Linkfist, and we can use all the help we can get someone who also doesn’t give two shits about shoving him out into the light of day. sports?” asked Vanessa Ballentine.

Spooner Clarke, via seattleweekly.com E

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

LINES OF SCRIMMAGE Last week, Seattle Weekly published an essay by

4

Other readers, meanwhile, feared the story rein-

forced the idea that women who show interest in

Comments have been edited (heavily) for length and clarity.

SUBSCRIBE! 6-12, AUGUST

Get Seattle Weekly delivered directly to your home SUBSCRIBE TODAY!

E 2014 I VOLUM

CLIMBING OUT

ER 39 I NUMB

32

OF HOMELESSN

ESS PAGE 7 |

KLY.COM I

SEATTLEWEE

K PAGE 74 DINING IN THE DAR

| FEST BESTS PAG

FREE

E 85

...The Right Gift That Keeps On Giving!

MICRO-CITY

BEOSF T SEATTLE THE LITTLE THINGS

THAT MAKE A BIG

CEO

Gift your business with the right quantifiable solutions for 2016 that are effective, engaging, and produce the right results. Sound Media’s Omni Channel Marketing strategy delivers the right message to the right target audience, across the right channel, into the right device.

DIFFERENCE.

$$$

Intro Special $29 for the first 6 months To sign up, call 888-838-3000

Sound Media - Business Development Solutions affordable, effective, and measurable results. Just right!

Sound Media Business Development Solutions

Connecting customizable socially integrated channels to measurable strategies for informed consumers.

www.soundmediabds.com

|

425.339.3062

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

5

6

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

news&comment CITY HALL

Street Kids

The daunting challenge of finding shelter for homeless families.

BY SARA BERNARD

PHOTOS BY SARA BERNARD

Daisy Walter struggled to find shelter for her family.

I

or she was told to schedule an appointment, which could take a week or more.

“I’m like, ‘I’m living in a car with two kids.

I don’t have a week or more. I need to get my kids in some shelter,’ ” she says.

Last January, after being in tents, parking lots, and motels for half a year, the family finally found a shelter bed through Mary’s Place, and Daisy WalA shared play room ter found work as an at Mary’s Place. on-call janitor. Today their bedroom is a bank of mattresses layered with thick blankets and pillows in the corner of the first-floor sleeping quarters of the Mary’s Place Family Center, a new shelter—at 1155 N. 130th St., just off Aurora Avenue—that will soon house up to 100 families with kids and provide all sorts of services and support, from hot meals to GED classes to health care.

Walter has a Section 8 voucher in hand, but she can’t find a place to use it; either apart-

Fast takes from the news desk Have a Blast

After more than seven months of investigation, the official verdict is in: Seattle police may have hurt people during Seattle’s May 1 anti-capitalist protest, but the fault belongs to the department as a whole, not to individual officers. So says a report issued on Thursday by Pierce Murphy, director of the Office of Professional Accountability (OPA), the semi-independent oversight arm of the Seattle Police Department.

The report acknowledges that some blast balls— devices that deploy small, hot projectiles like a firecracker—“detonated . . . next to or against one or more persons,” contrary to intended use. So why weren’t any officers found in the wrong? In short, Murphy’s investigation was unable to definitively connect specific cops to specific blast balls and specific injuries.

Inasmuch as the report could change the way Seattle police handle protests—rather than simply blaming one or two “bad apples”—that conclusion could be a positive step for the city.

However, it must also be stated that the assertion that no specific officer can be linked to a specific, injurious blast ball is highly suspect. Jerry Savage, who runs the police-transparency website SeattleCopResearch.com, has used publicly available video to prove that Sgt. John Brooks, a 23-year SPD veteran who trains other officers in the use of less-lethal weapons, threw a blast ball into the middle of a crowd of people who had already obeyed police orders to move onto the sidewalk and were not behaving aggressively.

That blast ball left Savage with a bruise, but his larger concern is why OPA is overlooking the evidence. At press time, OPA and SPD hadn’t responded to Savage’s assertions; you can see the videos in question on seattleweekly.com now.

CASEY JAYWORK

Post-Paris

ments don’t have any Section 8 openings, or they charge more than what she can afford even with the voucher, or they don’t accept Section 8 vouchers at all.

“Every day my 4-year-old asks me: ‘Mommy, when can we get our own home?’ ” Walter says. “That kills me. ’Cause he knows this isn’t normal.”

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 8

Now comes the hard part. At the end of the 21st international climate conference on Saturday, world leaders came to the accord that so many climate activists dared not expect: The Paris Agreement actually promises to shoot for a 1.5-degree cap on global warming. But the agreement says only that we should start “pursuing efforts to limit the temperature increase” to 1.5 degrees, making the statement aspirational at best. As a result, many activists are just as skeptical as they were before the official announcement .

On Saturday, about 300 people marched from Westlake Center to Pike Place Market to “acknowledge the ambiguity” of the Paris agreement. Among other things, the march inaugurated a new message for the climate movement in the Pacific Northwest: We Are the Red Line, a pledge of resistance to carbon infrastructure projects in the region.

If all the proposed oil-by-rail terminals in the Pacific Northwest were built, it could boost Canadian tar-sands production to the tune of 106 million more metric tons of carbon dioxide a year, or the equivalent of doubling the total greenhouse-gas pollution of Washington state. In other words, the road to the success of Paris runs through SoDo, the Columbia River Gorge, and Bellingham. Allons-y!

SARA BERNARD E

news@seattleweekly.com

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

n the summer of 2014, Daisy Walter, her fiancé, and her two boys, a teenager and a toddler, moved to Seattle because it was impossible to find work in Aberdeen. Seattle wasn’t much better. Walter’s partner eventually found a seasonal job at Target, and they pitched two tents in a friend’s backyard for a few months.

By late August, out of options, the whole family piled into their battered Pontiac Bonneville and slept every night in a dark lot at a public park until Halloween—the kind of place where “nobody bothers you,” Walter says.

“The drug dealers are doing drug deals in the car next to yours, but at least you’re parked in an area where you can use the bathroom until 10 p.m.”

It was absurdly cramped, and sometimes frigid; they’d divide their blankets among them, prioritizing the boys, especially the little one. “We’d run the car a little bit, get it warm inside, but you can only do that so much before you run out of gas,” she recalls.

Walter’s older son was 16 at the time, and still went to school every day; she would drive him to a spot near his school, and then he’d walk, since “it was less embarrassing for him.”

Walter called and called, looking for emergency shelters, but the beds were always full,

SeattleBriefly

7

news&comment

When Mayor Ed Murray declared a civil emer-

gency last month in response to the homelessness epidemic, he described a three-pronged crisis: the number of people living outside, the number of people dying outside, and the number of homeless children attending Seattle’s public schools— roughly 3,000, or about one in every classroom, according to public-school data.

The goal, he said, was to find shelter for those kids as soon as possible; the emergency declaration could cut through red tape surrounding city contracts and zoning laws. A month into the declaration, though, the process remains a little unclear.

“We’re not at the point where we have an exact dollar amount for homeless kids per se,” says Jason Johnson, deputy director of the city’s Human Services Department (HSD). So far, the mayor’s spending plan for the $5.3 million in city emergency funds carves out about $2.2 million, Johnson says, for “targeted public health and

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

“If there was an earthquake . . . we’d open our community centers, we’d open up every city building to bring them all in. It’s possible.

We can end this.”

8

flexible funding strategies aimed at serving this population.” That could mean providing clean clothes, food, and transportation to and from schools with high numbers of homeless kids; finding city-owned buildings that could double as before- and after-school resource centers; and bolstering services in community centers and public-health clinics to offer everything from hot showers to homework help to counseling.

But since the HSD’s “primary means of addressing homelessness is by getting people a house,” insists Johnson, much of the city’s allocations will likely go to funding hotel vouchers and shelter beds like those at Mary’s Place, as well as the Rapid Re-Housing program, a King County strategy piloted in 2013 that pays up front for the move-in costs of market-rate housing and then subsidizes a family’s rent for about six months.

It’s a Housing First–type model that Johnson says data supports; offered a home, and not just a shelter bed, he says, “families tend to stabilize and start paying their own rent in a few months.”

Daisy Walter, however, begs to differ. She’s got the option of Rapid Re-Housing right now, along with the Section 8 voucher, “but I was trying to hold off because I didn’t want to end up back [in a shelter] after a few months because I can’t afford market-rate rent,” she says. Since her family has tenuous part-time work as a janitor, seasonal work in retail, and four mouths to feed, “I already know this.”

In any case, the city’s renewed efforts have just begun; even with some red tape lifted, “it will probably take some time to show the kind of results” people would like to see, Johnson says.

422 families in King County have no roof over their heads, according to the latest data from Family Housing Connnection, the hotline, launched in 2012, that coordinates a single wait list among about 80 providers across King County.. Daisy Walter describes one family she met at Mary’s Place: a father who spent six weeks sleeping in a public bathroom at a park with his small son because so few shelters will take dads.

The city is working primarily with Mary’s Place and the YWCA to support homeless families, which could mean new grants from HSD. Other nonprofits that help families find shelter include Solid Ground, Seattle’s Union Gospel Mission, and Catholic Community Services of Western Washington, which runs Family Housing Connection.

But as everyone working on the issue knows— including the city of Seattle—shelter beds are simply maxed out, and families can spend many months waiting. Marty Hartman, executive director of Mary’s Place, estimates her organization can offer temporary shelter to about 20 percent of the Seattle families who need it. “The family you see today, and the phone calls you turn away, is probably the most motivating factor,” she says. “We have a very small office. You hear every phone call, you hear every turn-away, you hear every sobbing mom.”

Hartman is supportive of Murray’s work on homelessness in Seattle, but she’s realistic in what it will and won’t do. “I think the one important thing about declaring the state of emergency was the mayor standing up and asking for help,” she says. “The mayor was asking the county, the state, and the federal government to stand up and help and contribute as well to end this, to help alleviate the pain and suffering on our streets. The city can’t do it by themselves.”

But getting the state or the feds involved seems an even lengthier process than allocating citywide funds; Hartman, who’s been with Mary’s Place for 16 years, is firm. “It’s not one agency, not one government entity, not one faith community, not one person that’s going to bring a family out of homelessness; it’s really a collective, collaborative effort.”

Even during a public crisis, then, shelters like Mary’s Place rely heavily on private donations, and will continue to do so. Last year, thanks to a $330,000 crowdfunding campaign, Mary’s Place opened a temporary shelter for about seven months. That translates to about 9,000 shelter-bed nights, Hartman says, and from there, Mary’s Place staff moved 25 families into permanent housing.

But then the money ran out and the shelter had to close. “It’s really hard to close something,” Hartman says, her voice quiet. “It’s heartwrenching.”

Mary’s Place is currently holding a second campaign through December 31, this time shooting for $500,000, which would allow the organization to open a new emergency shelter for a full year, as well as support more comprehensive services at Mary’s Place Family Center, including ESL classes, job training, a teen center, a computer lab, and specialized services for refugee families.

It feels like endless triage, sometimes, sure; but Hartman is unfazed. “If there was an earthquake, if there was a huge flood, we’d open our doors, we’d open our community centers, we’d open up every city building to bring them all in,” she says.

“It’s possible, definitely. We can end this.” E

sbernard@seattleweekly.com

Window Flopping The lost art of retail display.

BY DANIEL PERSON It can be hard to remember window displays as

DANIEL PERSON

Street Kids » FROM PAGE 7

HOLIDAYS Meanwhile, every night of the week, roughly

Michael Wesner seeks creativity in window displays.

M

ichael Wesner and William “Larry” Bird came to their expertise on retail window displays very differently.

Wesner, who lives on Capitol Hill and spent 30 years as a retail designer, was inspired to learn the craft by Rhoda Morgenstern from The Mary Tyler Moore Show, whose flamboyance was indicative of the best displays of the era.

Bird, an emeritus curator at the Smithsonian Institute, meanwhile possesses a deep nostalgia for the wholesome animatronic Christmas displays that were once standard in downtowns across America.

“I have distinct memories of going downtown as a family in the late 1950s,” says Bird, who wrote the book on window displays (Holidays on Display, Princeton Architectural Press, 2007). “That was the heyday: It was in the form of the postwar animated window set that told a story. The detail was in the animation, the moving pictures, the moving parts, the moving component to it.”

Wesner and Bird have never met, yet share an abhorrence for the current state of the art. Gone are Wesner’s daring and creative displays; long gone is Bird’s mechanical splendor.

“There’s no window-shopping anymore,” Wesner complains to me as we stroll around Westlake Center and Pacific Place, casting his favorite pejorative, “boring,” at almost every display we pass. “There’s no excitement to window shopping.”

In some ways, the obituary for the retail window display has already run. The Washington Post, for example, declared in 2007 that “store windows” were “now part of Christmas past.” The causes of death listed included the decline of downtown retail and the rise of big-box stores.

But in Seattle, which continues to enjoy a vibrant retail core, the death of the window display has felt more like a drawn-out illness, with the occasional glint of life in its eye. While Wesner detects a lack of inspiration in many displays, in others some artistic touch has remained.

Now, though, Wesner for one is ready to call the art of retail display in Seattle a goner. When the Nordstrom flagship store unveils its redesign next spring, there will be no window displays at all.

Instead, the giant ground-floor windows will simply allow passersby to look into the store.

“This is to me the last of a dying field,” he says.

Bird describes if you are under 60, or as Wesner describes if you are under 45.

For those who want to understand retail display as Wesner thinks it should be done, he recommends a 1987 film, Lady Beware. In it, a young, hip designer played by Diane Lane scandalizes Pittsburgh society with downtown displays that feature, for example, racy domestic scenes with lots of whipped cream on mannequins’ inner thighs.

Wesner recalls the days when live animals would be trotted into Seattle display windows for an extra kick. His own displays, which could be seen at Frederick & Nelson in downtown Seattle until it closed in 1992, often featured disembodied mannequins that sought to force a double-take from shoppers.

“I remember my boss saying, ‘Michael, if you do one more thing with body parts, I’m going to scream,’ ” he remembers now.

But the product was always the center of everything. As Bird puts it, with windows, “You were supposed to walk into the store mentally by looking at the merchandise.”

Compare that to now: At Third and Pike, Ross Dress for Less occupies a beautiful art deco building with large windows facing a bustling sidewalk; in the windows are giant posters that give little indication of what’s for sale inside—no mannequins, even, let alone livestock. Other chains are only slightly more inventive; Wesner points at another display with disdain. “They’re selling clothes, but what do you see first? The snowflakes.

They aren’t selling snowflakes,” he says.

At another: “It’s boring. There’s no excitement to it. Light something on fire, do something, get people interested in looking at it.”

Another: “I’m not going to say ‘boring’ again.”

Bird notes that the lack of inspiration at downtown stores is particularly apparent because many of the buildings in downtown cores were designed with large window displays in mind. “There was almost universal agreement that any kind of display space was valuable as an advertising medium,” he says. “When they started designing these stores with big plate-glass windows, they were really looking at it as an advertising medium.”

Back to the source of Wesner’s anguish:

Nordstrom. The retailer says the redesign is not to spurn window displays but to allow more light into the showroom.

“For us I can tell you that we have, over the last couple years, opened nine new stores that use our new store design,” says Nordstrom spokesman (and son of the former Washington governor) Dan Evans. “Letting in outside light is a key part of it.”

I put that comment to Bird. His response: “Don’t be fooled.”

“To do it and sustain it at a level that puts people in their cars and gets them downtown, that level of display is expensive,” he says. “The merchants that used to do it looked upon this as a gift, as exerting themselves in the pre-eminence in the retail core.

“With the consolidation of the national chains, I mean despite what they say, this kind of display is the first thing to go.” E

dperson@seattleweekly.com

Way over budget and with a runaway deadline, will Hanford’s glassification plant ever be ready?

I

By John Stang

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

JOSE TRUJILLO

n the summer of 2010, Walt Tamosaitis was facing a deadline crunch.

The pressure was high at the federal Hanford nuclear reservation where Tamosaitis worked for Bechtel, a project-management company that the federal government had contracted to help clean up what is arguably the most chemically and radiologically contaminated chunk of land in the Western Hemisphere.

His team was charged with designing a “pretreatment plant,” part of a glassification facility that would dispose of the waste created at Hanford from 1943 to 1989, when the federal government irradiated uranium rods inside nine reactors there to create the plutonium used in the country’s nuclear arsenal.

The plant is where the sludges and liquid waste that resulted from the manufacture of that plutonium would be prepared for transport to two next-door facilities where they would be converted into immense, and entirely benign, glass logs that would trap the radiation for at least 10,000 years.

The plant’s design, though, had problems. There was a risk of hydrogen gas explosions that would bend and burst pipes inside the plant, resulting in a spray of radioactive fluids. That would be bad. And so would radioactive sludges clogging the plant’s innards, and uncontrollable bursts of radiation in those innards.

And even if all those hazards were avoided, corrosion likely would cause leaks in the plant’s 38 mixing tanks, plus all the pipes.

As he and his team attempted to solve these problems by a June 30, 2010, deadline, 56 million gallons of highly radioactive liquids, sludges, and crusts sat inside 149 huge single-shell and 28 newer, supposedly safer, double-shell tanks. At that point at least 67 single-shell tanks had leaked at least one million gallons of radioactive liquids into the ground, where they had been slowly seeping toward the nearby Columbia River. (Later, in 2013, one double-shell tank would spring a leak in its inner shell; and in 2014, the Government Accountability Office would report that another 12 double-shell tanks could spring leaks in the near future.) While the Columbia River’s volume had been able to dilute the radionuclides that had already reached the river, a big question mark loomed over whether more massive volumes of more potent radioactive fluids might also hit it.

The clock was ticking. And yet, as Tamosaitis would soon realize, the deadline that he faced was less about the existential threat posed by radioactive contamination within the plant than about dollars in his employer’s bank account. Five million, to be exact.

If the design problems were fixed by June 30, 2010, the feds would pay that amount as a bonus to Bechtel National Inc. and its chief subcontractor, URS Corp. But there was a problem: Tamosaitis, the head of the chemical-engineering team in charge of fixing those design problems, said the design fix-it measures could not be ready by the deadline.

He argued for several months leading up to the deadline that too many of the flaws in the designs had not been addressed.

His bosses downplayed those concerns. According to a 2011 lawsuit filed in federal court by Tamosaitis, the URS assistant manager for the Hanford glassification project, William Gay, said several times in early 2010 that not meeting the June deadline could hurt careers and compensations. “On one or more occasions,” Tamosaitis’ lawsuit claimed, “Gay stated, ‘If this doesn’t close, I’ll be selling Amway in Tijuana.’ ” On July 1, 2010, Bechtel and URS declared that the design problems were fixed. The Department of Energy agreed. The next day, Tamosaitis was told to turn in his security badge, cell phone, and Blackberry—and leave the Hanford site.

Meanwhile, DOE paid the $5 million to Bechtel and URS.

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 10 9

Glass Hole » FROM PAGE 9 URS reassigned Tamosaitis. According to the 2011 lawsuit, which argued that the engineer was due an unspecified dollar amount because of the retaliation, URS officials told Tamosaitis in mid-July that Bechtel and DOE wanted him removed. He was moved to a minor procurement job buying material and equipment in a basement in a Richland building about 15 miles from the glassificiation plant site in central Hanford. There he shared a room with two copying machines and was given “little or no meaningful work,” the lawsuit alleged.

But as Tamosaitis toiled away in that basement, a funny thing happened. His concerns about the plant began to spread. In 2011, the Defense Nuclear Facilities Safety Board came to a similar conclusion about flaws in the pretreatment plant’s design. A year later, the General Accounting Office—the investigative arm of Congress— issued a report that echoed his worries.

Then, in August of this year, at the same time that URS was settling with a by-then-retired Tamosaitis for $4.1 million, the Department of Energy announced that the glassification plant would not meet its on-line target of 2022.

The irony is that DOE’s reasons to delay the glassification project are so familiar—unsolved design problems concerning flammable hydrogen gases, radiation bursts, corrosion, and clogging that can wreck the pretreatment plant’s interior.

They are the same ones cited by Tamosaitis in 2010, the ones that got him exiled for apparently endangering the contractor’s $5 million bonus for supposedly solving those same problems.

“I would hope with the visibility of my case that someone would hold their feet to the fire and make them belly up to the bar and take care of ” the design flaws in a timely manner, Tamosaitis said in August.

If the past is prologue, that is highly unlikely.

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

10

unheralded warnings is not the exception in the ongoing struggle to contain Hanford’s waste. Rather, this episode is just the latest in a litany of setbacks that has put the project over budget and off schedule again and again.

Officially, the reasons are that this is a firstof-its-kind project with difficult-to-perfect new technology.

In reality, the glassification project—like most of Hanford—resembles a giant Dilbert comic book.

The culture is the culprit. There are immense corporate and social pressures to look good now and hope someone else is in charge when things go wrong later. These pressures include high turnover in upper management, bonuses to corporations, individual career advancement, and retaliation against those who rock the boat at inconvenient times.

This culture dates back to 1989 when Hanford was ceasing its plutonium development operations.

At that time the U.S. Department of Energy, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, and the Washington Department of Ecology made a pact, dubbed the Tri-Party Agreement, that was to set the path for all Hanford’s cleanup obligations.

The master plan at the center of that pact involves a complex that includes “a pretreatment plant” that would convert the tank wastes so it can be sent to one of two melters—one for highly radioactive wastes, one for less-radioactive wastes. By 2047, according to the pact, all 56 mil-

quicker glassification of the low-level wastes, getting the project actually working early in the next decade, while the technical issues can be resolved simultaneously.

“As design and construction progress, so does our understanding of the very complex issues we are addressing,” Bechtel said in a written statement prepared in response to questions that Seattle Weekly sent to Bechtel and DOE. So far the budget for the glassification plant has officially grown to $12.3 billion, with the caveat that this price tag won’t glassify all 56 million gallons of wastes. In fact, the plant as currently designed will glassify all the high-level wastes, but only a third of the low-level wastes, by 2047, said the state, DOE, and Bechtel. Extra

Walt Tamosaitis, above, says his employer is on a “slow walk” to produce glass logs of Hanford’s waste, right.

2010 “consent decree,” a negotiated agreement on that lawsuit that set the 2019 and 2022 deadlines.

This timetable issue is still in federal court. However, the state and DOE have both acknowledged the 2019 and 2022 deadlines are not feasible.

“Since the 2010 settlement was finalized, Washington has not seen evidence that Energy has taken the necessary steps to do everything within its power to meet the legal obligations contained in the consent decree and [the 1989 legal pact],” said a March 2014 letter from the Washington Attorney General’s Office to the U.S Department of Justice, which is representing DOE. “We have not seen evidence of Energy exercising reasonable diligence to identify and respond to technical issues, performing effective project management, exercising strong oversight of its contractors, or seeking sufficient funds or reprogramming funds to meet its obligations.”

The state has proposed a new deadline to have the glassification plant fully functional by 2028.

The DOE has not signed on to the 2028 date, but is proposing a limited startup in 2022 involving an extra second pretreatment plant that can handle limited amounts for a quickly built low-levelradioactive-waste glassification facility. The DOE also wants to remove deadlines for finishing the main pretreatment plant and for the high-levelradioactive-waste glassification facility. DOE’s reasons are that it cannot say when certain technical issues—the ones cited by Tamosaitis in 2010—will be resolved. When those are resolved, DOE will then be willing to set most of the new deadlines.

In a written statement, DOE said the “staggered approach” would lead to the relatively

ART CREDIT

The story of Tamosaitis’

lion gallons of nuclear wastes would be converted into glass. The complex came with a $4 billion estimate to build and to be operating by 1999.

Then the startup dates drifted back: first to 2007, then 2011, then 2019.

Now the state and DOE are litigating and negotiating a revised schedule based on a 2008 state lawsuit on missed legal deadlines and a

low-level-waste glassification equipment might be needed in order to make the final 2047 deadline, or that deadline might have to be extended, state officials have speculated.

The federal government has spent $19 billion since 1989 to both take care of Hanford’s tank wastes and to build a glassification complex—with no wastes converted yet into a safe form, said a 2015 General Accounting Office report.

That number is likely to grow. A December 2012 General Accounting Office report concluded that DOE and its contractors still don’t have a grip on the costs. That 2012 GAO report put the price tag at $13.4 billion—more than $1 billion higher than DOE’s current estimate—“and significant additional cost increases and schedule delays are likely to occur because DOE has not fully resolved the technical challenges faced by the project.”

The GAO report said DOE has told Bechtel to put together a new budget and timetable for the glassification project, including possible changes to the complex’s designs. “These alternatives could add billions of dollars to the cost of treating the waste and prolong the overall wastetreatment mission,” the GAO report said.

In a written statement, Bechtel said it has done that updating work for the low-level-waste glassification plant and many auxiliary facilities. But despite DOE’s December 2012 reply to the GAO,

Bechtel said DOE has not yet asked for a new budget and timetable for the high-level-waste glassification facility and for the pretreatment plant.

Meanwhile, critics argue that major mistakes are not met with enough financial punishment to get the project back on track. DOE has not penalized Bechtel for cost increases and delays that have appeared after the original deadlines were supposedly met, even though that has been a pattern at the glassification project, the GAO report said.

“Do I think this is the pinnacle of project management? No,” said Jane Hedges, manager of the Washington Department of Ecology’s nuclear-waste program.

No doubt many problems arise

from the fact that the Hanford project is one of the world’s most complicated nuclearwaste projects in terms of volumes and complexities of the wastes. Yet observers point to other factors causing delays and overruns: project management problems, frequent turnover in the top brass, and a culture that wants to ignore major troubles.

In both Richland and Washington, D.C., top DOE officials spend radically less of their careers on planning and leading Hanford’s cleanup than the middle managers and rank-and-file employees doing the actual work. At the top levels, the routine is to spend two to four years on the job and then move on to something else—adding a few lines to a resume before seeking a new post.

Pressured by then-U.S. Rep. Doc Hastings (R-Pasco), the Department of Energy in 1999 set up a specific agency—the Office of River Protection in Richland—to deal solely with the tank wastes and building the glassification complex. Since 1999, that DOE agency has had nine permanent and interim chief managers—by rough average, a new federal boss in Richland for the glassification project every 18 months.

In a written statement, the Office of River Protection said it has maintained a good management team at Hanford despite the changes.

“The current [DOE] manager [Kevin Smith], who has been at Hanford since late 2012, is a highly experienced leader, with the right skills to lead tank farm operations and [glassificationplant] construction,” the statement said.

Critics argue that the waste-glassification plant is being designed and built in a culture that rewards an alternating combination of speed and delays.

That scenario unfolds like this: Contractors sacrifice quality and safety to make deadlines in order to get full bonus payments from DOE, dubbed “award fees.” Then the improperly completed work leads to delays, which lead to renegotiating deadlines and fees that send more money to the contractors’ coffers as time drags on. Meanwhile, the rapid turnover in highranking DOE and contractor officials means the top leaders will have moved to better jobs elsewhere by the time their earlier decisions actually backfire.

“Bechtel knows how to slow-walk a schedule to make the most money,” Tamosaitis told Seattle Weekly. “If something fouls up, you’ve got to pay them more to fix it.”

Bechtel disputed that contention in writing: “This is false. In fact, safety is the overriding element in everything we do. And we are good stewards of taxpayer dollars as we build a one-of-a-kind facility. . . . When it comes to safety, we have created an environment where

Critics contend all these pressures

have created a culture that encourages turning a blind eye to bad news. For almost 30 years, Hanford officials have had a checkered history of retaliating against managers and employees who bring up inconvenient concerns.

In 1988, Mike Lawrence, DOE’s manager for Hanford’s nuclear cleanup operations, wrote to a whistleblower: “I do not condone any form of harassment or retaliation by either the contractor or the DOE representatives.”

However, not all managers have been so open to criticism. At the beginning of this decade, a new surge of frustrated middle managers emerged at the glassification project. There was Tamosaitis in 2010; another was Busche, then the manager for environmental and nuclear safety at URS. Her job was to anticipate and prevent nuclear safety problems at the glassification project. She filed a Labor Department complaint in late 2011 against Bechtel and URS, alleging the two companies were trying to remove her from her post in retaliation for pushing inconvenient safety concerns.

Like Tamosaitis, Busche contended that pressure to meet design and construction deadlines had outweighed concern for equipment safety on the project. “Beginning in 2010, [URS’ and Bechtel’s] focus moved away from nuclear and environmental safety compliance and toward meeting deadlines regardless of the quality of the work,” Busche’s 2011 complaint stated. “In this atmosphere, Ms. Busche was viewed as a roadblock to meeting deadlines, rather than a valuable check against noncompliance, and managers sought ways to retaliate and to circumvent her efficacy.”

On Oct. 7 and 8, 2010, the Defense Nuclear Facilities Safety Board—the Washington, D.C. federal advisory body that double-checks DOE’s cleanup plans—held a packed public meeting in Kennewick to quiz state, DOE, and contractor officials about the the glassification project. The DOE officials included Ines Triay, DOE’s nationwide cleanup czar until July 2011.

Busche helped write some of the responses for the DOE, Bechtel, and URS officials who testified. But when two of her superiors changed some of her information, she refused to sign the formal response document, forcing them to revert to her original wording.

Also at that hearing, Busche gave the defense board a different technical answer than DOE officials did on the physics of aerosol particles dispersing and falling to the ground, which affects how escaped radioactive particles fly through the air. That angered Triay enough that afterward she chewed out Busche in a room filled with 50 URS employees, declaring that if Busche’s “intent was to piss people off [with her testimony, she] did a very good job,” according to Busche’s Labor Department complaint.

On Oct. 8, 2010, according to Busche’s complaint, three high-ranking contractor officials—Frank Russo, Bechtel’s glassification project manager; Leo Sain, a senior URS vice president; and William Gay, the URS assistant project manager—approached Busche one by one to ask if she would be willing to change her answer on the aerosol-dispersion matter. “She understood their questions to imply she should recant her earlier testimony,” Busche’s complaint said. She refused.

Later, in January 2011, another of Busche’s supervisors, Mike Coyle, told her “to stop putting technical and safety issues in writing to him, and to instead come to him in person with these

issues, so as to avoid making a written record,” her 2011 complaint read. In a 2012 interview, Busche said she believed this was to eliminate paper trails for future potential problems.

Busche was deposed in May 2011 during the Tamosaitis case, and identified many of his technical concerns as valid. Then in October 2011, Busche’s superiors gave her a “corrective action letter” for having one of her people run an errand for her while that employee was on a lunch break. She believes the letter was the start of a paperwork trail to terminate her. According to her complaint, another supervisor told Busche that “people want her fired.”

“URS and [Bechtel] are currently engaged in retaliatory efforts in order to remove Ms. Busche from her assignment at URS,” her 2011 complaint alleged.

Busche’s case is still in litigation.

“This is the message sent to every ethical competent engineer. Everything goes forward because of the political pressures,” said Tom Carpenter, executive director of Hanford Challenge, a longtime Hanford watchdog organization that has handled whistleblower issues there since the 1980s. “It’s still a system that rejects any criticism, any dissent.”

Another issue plaguing the project

is the fact that Bechtel is both the “design agency” and the “design authority” for the glassification project.

In English, that means Bechtel is in charge of designing the glassification complex and of approving those designs. Tamosaitis believes that this is a massive flaw in managing Hanford’s glassification project, in that there are no checks and balances to ensure its designs are the best for the nation’s taxpayers rather than for the corporation.

A 2012 memorandum sent by Dale Brunson, DOE’s Hanford glassification engineering division director, to Scott Samuelson, the eighth of the DOE Office of River Protection’s nine head managers since 1999, echoes that concern. In that memo, Brunson complained that Bechtel’s designs and solutions were sometimes factually incorrect, had technical flaws, didn’t address safety problems, cost more in the long run than other options, and had solutions that were difficult to verify. Some designs did not lead to safe equipment that functions as intended in the field, the memo said.

“Repair and rework of these non-compliant designs are leading to significant costs and schedule impacts . . . They illustrate the general behavior and performance of the [Bechtel] engineering organization acting as the [glassification complex’s] design authority and design agent,” Brunson wrote.

Occasional criticism has popped up that so much time and money have been sunk into the glassification project that changing to a more efficient course is difficult. For example, see the DOE’s proposal to speed up work by building a second pretreatment plant to resolve its consentdecree dispute with the state. Under Hanford’s current master plan, one pretreatment plant—the one involved in the Tamosaitis litigation—would separate tank wastes into highly radioactive and less-radioactive materials in preparation to send them to one of two neighboring melting facilities, each designed to convert specifically the high-level or the low-level materials into the glass cylinders.

DOE is proposing to build a second pretreatment plant that would prepare wastes already classified as containing solely low levels of radioactivity.

The idea is to build the low-level pretreatment plant and the low-level glassifying facility quickly—and begin converting some wastes into glass while Hanford wrestles with designing and building the more complicated main pretreatment plant and the high-level glassifying facility.

But a May 2015 GAO report notes that the DOE estimates the low-level-waste pretreatment facility and its auxiliary equipment would likely take six to eight years to build, and cost an extra $1 billion. And an eight-year period would mean that glassification would ramp up in 2023—one year behind the current deadline. However, that GAO report also contends that some extra needed construction has been left out of that $1 billion estimate. Also, unresolved design issues based on out-of-date approaches make that timetable and cost estimate unreliable, the 2015 GAO report argues.

Meanwhile, another twist recently surfaced that could affect the speed of constructing Hanford’s glassification complex. Since 1995, DOE has had a permanent group of academics to advise it on nuclear cleanup matters. As requested by Congress’ fiscal 2014–15 budget legislation, the group did a study and then released a report in August that included a recommendation that DOE approach Congress for legislation to make its nuclear-cleanup decisions across the nation exempt from state government lawsuits and consent decrees. This would affect the consent-decree dispute that Washington and DOE are having over Hanford’s tank wastes.

The advisory group’s rationale is that DOE does not have enough money to meet all its nationwide nuclear-cleanup obligations on time, and that the various cleanup agreements the DOE signed many years ago with several states are based on outdated information. Those obligations include major Cold War nuclear sites such as Idaho Falls; Savannah River, S.C.; Oak Ridge, Tenn.; and others. The group recommended that DOE set up a committee of experts to map out DOE’s nationwide cleanup priorities independently of its legal agreements.

That prompted an August 27 letter from Govs. Jay Inslee and Oregon’s Kate Brown to the U.S. House and Senate subcommittees that handle nuclear-cleanup allocations. That letter argued that the advisory group’s recommendation would eliminate all of Washington’s, Oregon’s, and other states’ legal abilities to enforce DOE’s lapsed cleanup obligations in court.

In its last several annual nationwide budget requests to Congress, the Obama administration has usually requested less than what is needed to meet the federal government’s legal obligation to states with nuclear-cleanup projects—mostly because of numerous federal agencies fighting over a limited amount of money, according to the staff of Sen. Patty Murray. Then Murray, Sen. Maria Cantwell, and Congressional members from other states with nuclear-cleanup sites have fought to increase that budget to try to meet all of DOE’s cleanup obligations, observers said.

An extra wrinkle is the fiscal 2012–13 sequestration legislation, in which Congress made across-the-board cuts, including money headed to Hanford’s tank-waste projects. That put the tank-waste projects into deeper financial holes from which they are still trying to recover, said state and federal officials.

While Hanford Challenge’s Carpenter agrees Hanford’s tank-waste projects have been underfunded, he also contended that is not their top problem: “It’s not a matter of the money, but how the money is being spent.” E

news@seattleweekly.com

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

our employees can work safely today and where they can design a plant that will operate safely and efficiently.”

However, others agree with Tamosaitis.

“There is no penalty for a contractor being wrong,” said Donna Busche, a former URS safety official, in a 2012 interview with Crosscut. She could not be reached for comment for this story.

“DOE has experienced continuing problems overseeing its contractor’s activities,” a 2013 GAO report said. “For example, DOE’s incentives and management controls are inadequate for ensuring effective project management, and GAO found instances where DOE prematurely rewarded the contractor for resolving technical issues and completing work.”

Besides Bechtel and URS getting a $5 million bonus in 2010 for supposedly fixing engineering design problems that still exist today, the contractors also received a $30 million federal bonus for installation work inside the glassification pretreatment building in 2004.

However, Bechtel couldn’t prove the welding was done properly on the pipes and tanks within that building—a facility whose interior will eventually become so radioactive that humans will not be able to enter it even with protective clothes, according to a 2012 DOE Inspector General report. Such an area is known as a “black cell.”

“The importance of black cells and hardto-reach components cannot be overstated,” the IG report said. “Premature failure of these components could potentially impact safety, contaminate large portions of a multibillion-dollar facility, and interrupt waste processing for an unknown period of time.”

The lack of welding records did not become apparent until 2010, the DOE Inspector General’s report said. DOE asked Bechtel to return $15 million of that $30 million bonus. The 2012 DOE Inspector General report said there was no record of that $15 million being repaid, and it criticized DOE for not aggressively trying to get the money back.

In its written response to the Inspector General, DOE confirmed that the $15 million hadn’t been repaid. The reason the agency gave was an updated contract in 2009 declaring that all fee disputes up to that time were resolved.

Meanwhile, Bechtel is also slow in identifying problems and keeping tight financial grips on subcontractors and equipment vendors, said a DOE Inspector General report dated Nov. 17, 2015. The report looked at 1,365 cases in which Bechtel determined that products from vendors did not meet specificiations, and found that 44 percent of those cases took two years or more after delivery to identify. One case involved a tank delivered in 2004 to use in the glassification plant’s black cells. It took seven years before Bechtel found out it did not meet the 2004 specifications, the report said. Also, Bechtel did not find out for nine years until 2013 that another major piece of black-cell equipment delivered in 2004 did not meet the original specifications.

The report also criticized Bechtel for not aggressively seeking financial penalties and fighting cost overruns pertaining to that defective equipment. In its response to the November IG report, Bechtel agreed with the findings and said it would work on fixing the quality-control problems.

Another cultural problem haunts the glassification project. Tamosaitis pointed to the common practice of DOE officials frequently moving to higher-paying jobs with the contractors. “It’s a back-scratching system,” he said. DOE denied that this “back-scratching” scenario occurs.

11

food&drink

BARCODE

The Cocktail Menu From Hell

Chef Moves

What culinary professionals cook on first dates.

BY ZACH GEBALLE

BY JACOB UITTI

f you’ve gone out for a drink in Seattle over the past few years, you’ve probably encountered this issue: You look at the cocktail menu only to realize that it’s nothing more than a list of spirits, many of them obscure. There are no proportions or flavor descriptors to provide guidance, and if the drinks are grouped at all, it’s by base spirit, which is of limited utility.

Mirroring the trend of food lists on menus, local bars are simply leaving many drinkers clueless as to what they’re going to get.

There’s little doubt in my mind that the current style of minimal information and maximal vagueness is doing a disservice to guests and bartenders alike. The goal of a cocktail menu should be to streamline the ordering process, to direct would-be drinkers to offerings that they’ll take a shine to, and maybe to expand horizons a bit. If all it prompts are Google searches, then something has gone wrong.

It’s easy, of course, to see how this can negatively impact a guest: No one likes to feel dumb or intimidated, and no one likes to order a drink he or she might not actually enjoy. Furthermore, while a bit of uncertainty can be thrilling, nothing kills the conviviality of a night out quite like everyone reaching for their phones.

So why exactly has this flourished? I think it’s a combination of factors: an honest interest in pushing boundaries; a “take it or leave it” attitude that’s unfortunately become a bit more prevalent; and the copycat mind-set that pervades the industry. Introducing the public to new spirits and new combinations of flavors is a wonderful goal, but doing so requires making it clear to drinkers what they’re going to get. The “take it or leave it” sentiment is the most insidious, since it doesn’t put guest enjoyment at the forefront of the experience. As for copycatting—well, if you’ve looked at any new bar’s menu, you can very clearly see the aesthetics and sometimes the exact drinks they’ve “borrowed” from more established places.

Criticism is easy, solutions are a bit harder.

One step might be to organize drinks not by their base spirit, but by their general flavor profile. Sure, a French 75 and a Last Word are both gin-based, but they’re worlds apart in taste. Descriptions are nice, too, since even a list of ingredients is nearly meaningless without proportions: A quarter-ounce of Fernet Branca in a drink is a different proposition than a full ounce. Most of all though, the focus should be on allowing guests to pick a drink off your carefully curated cocktail list without feeling stupid, turning to their phones, or ordering something randomly that they very well may hate. Clarity on the menu won’t fix all that, of course, but it’s a reasonable start. E

W

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

hen I was in high school, I made this great fried-chicken-breast salad. I egg-washed the chicken cutlets, covered them in breadcrumbs, and fried them in a skillet. The salad comprised chopped lettuce, diced red and green bell peppers, red onions, and ready-to-burst cherry tomatoes, all covered in a balsamic dressing with a pinch of mustard and sugar.

I told a girl I had a crush on at the time about the salad, and she said I should make it for a group of six people one night for a little dinner party. She sounded skeptical about my ability, but by the end of the dinner, my guests, including her, were picking the remaining bits out of the bottom of the bowl with their fingers. It was a success.

Sadly, though, that was the only even-semifancy thing I knew how to cook (until I met my girlfriend some three years ago—we cook a lot together!), and ever since I’ve been envious of professional cooks and chefs and their ability to wow their dates with professional culinary skills.

As such, I thought it would be romantically inspiring to find out from some young, single Seattle chefs what they prepare for their budding relationships—and to see if I could learn a few tricks (hey, you need to keep the flame alive!).

Zephyr Paquette, the 44-year-old head chef at Marjorie Restaurant on Capitol Hill, which specializes in food from Mediterranean to Vietnamese, says the first night she hung out with the woman she ended up marrying for eight years, they went out dancing. At about 2 a.m. Paquette was invited back to her house—but without the Taco Bell stop her date suggested. Instead, Paquette says, she offered to make a late-night snack.

“I’m a farmers-market girl,” she says. “Taco 12 Bell wasn’t going to happen—so we got to her

place and I made scrambled eggs with green chard, goat cheese, and brunoised carrots. And when she woke up in the morning, she felt better than if she’d gone to fast food, that’s for sure.”

Paquette has since split up with her wife, but she’s again on the dating market. “I had someone over two weeks ago,” she says, “and I decided I was going to make homemade pasta—but I realized I lost my pasta roller in the divorce! So I just rolled it out by hand.” True to her style, she’d been to the farmers market that day and had bought some tomatoes. “So I put my Roma tomatoes in the oven, which stayed in there for a couple hours; I sautéed up some spinach—oh, and I had some oysters, so I made a fantastic little tomato gin minuet and served the oysters too. I nailed it!”

Paquette says that when dating, which she both loves and hates, she doesn’t hide that she’s a chef— but she’s always impressed when a prospective partner offers to cook. “If somebody is willing to cook for a chef, that’s the best!” In fact, when her former wife slept through a potential date, Paquette said she woke up the next morning to find her at her doorstep with fresh blueberry muffins as an apology.

Taylor Cheney, a 29-year-old private chef who freelances at the vegetarian restaurant Juice Box and before that produced her own Arabic-style pop-ups at La Bête and Mistral Kitchen, says she’d be a little more conservative on the first or second date as far as giving up her culinary abilities. “I wouldn’t cook for a guy on a first date,” she laughs. “You have to earn that one!”

But when she decides to bust out the skills, what does she make? “Arabic food, because that’s my specialty and it’s pretty unique to people—it’s a fun thing to share and explain,” says Cheney, who lived in Cairo for five months. “Once the guy had impressed me down the line a little bit, I’d make

I

him an Arabic brunch with homemade falafel, foul (which is a fava-bean stew eaten with bread by hand), shakshuka (poached eggs in a tomato, chili pepper, and onion sauce spiced with cumin), fermented veggies, and labneh (strained yogurt).”

Cheney says she would “for sure” whip this up at her place, though, because “usually guys don’t have anything in their kitchen besides paper plates and one pot.”

Jake Wilson, the 29-year-old head chef at Ballard Annex Oyster House, might have something to say about the no-kitchenware thing. Nevertheless, his go-to date-night meal, he says, would be seared scallops over mushroom risotto—a dish he made for a girlfriend he was with for three and a half years.

“The local Ballard farmers market has a lot of great ingredients and fresh produce, but I would likely get the ingredients from my own restaurant,” the lucky chef says. “But the big thing is to make sure you have all your mise en place, your prep, done and ready to go, which makes the final cooking not take so long.”

Wilson says he would work his kitchen magic “a couple dates in if I thought it would turn into something serious”—no need to be frivolous. He says also that he’d leave the actual cooking until his date arrived: “I think it’s more of a personal thing to do with the lady so she can see it happen or at least watch you cook—that’s some of the allure of cooking, seeing it being done.”

That’s the scoop. To impress a date, stock ingredients from the farmers market; keep more than a few paper plates and a pot on hand; make something from the heart; and cook with your date. A latenight snack, a well-thought breakfast, or a classic dish prepared just right can win a person’s heart. E food@seattleweekly.com

thebarcode@seattleweekly.com

REVIEW

Feminine Fremont

At Eve, both the menu and design are seductive.

BY NICOLE SPRINKLE

OPEN AT 9:30AM ON SUNDAYS

SERVING BRUNCH BLOODY MARY BAR NFL SUNDAY TICKET on

12 TVS

1333 5th Ave

Seattle, WA 98101 206.623.3070 Butterfish.

T

space now. Coconut oil provides the twist here it, assuming it would be a common, but bad, (and I suppose gives it “confit” naming rights); iteration of flavorless Dungeness crab blasted deftly added, it brings a touch of sweetness, not with chili sauce. Yet I had faith, if only based a cloying tropical element, and marries well with on the interior at this point, and prevailed. It turmeric and an agreeably sharp lime yoghurt. turned out, like everything else we ordered, to I loved that it was portioned out for two be a smash. Sizable chunks of Dungeness are without us having to ask—but otherwise skimmed, not coated, with a chili jam, the service, though friendly, was but also served with a Chinese rice bumbling. We were brought the noodle that’s been truncated and wrong dishes twice and, even lightly fried (it has a kugel-like Eve Fremont worse, the wrong check at the texture), pickled vegetables, lime, 704 N. 34th St., end (a more expensive one to and cilantro. The resulting play 900-7186, boot). The food, though, made up of flavors is excellent and the evefremont.com. for these annoyances. noodles bring another Asian element—a welcome crispness.

To round out the entrées, we For our mains, we ordered from the ordered the crispy heirloom carrots “Hot Dishes” part of the menu, and were ($11), the name of which turned out to be an again delighted by both our choices. The butter oxymoron. While they’re a staple on many fish ($21) is “ghee-basted black cod” (ghee is menus lately, these are served nearly whole simply clarified butter) and the delicate fillet (Bugs Bunny style), which, while unique, felt a fell apart with just a light poke of the fork. The bit clumsy; and unfortunately the Meyer lemon decision to serve it with a radish salad and a vinaigrette and roasted-jalapeño yoghurt are black-butter purée shows a serious sophisticatoo quiet and can’t make up for the overcooked, tion from the kitchen—and indeed chef Jason bordering-on-mushy vegetable.

McCollum is a Culinary Institute of America We could have easily stopped here, but given graduate with a stint at New York’s Momofuku the roll we were on (save the carrots), dessert under his belt, among others. A black-butter was inevitable. The chilled coconut parfait sauce (beurre noir for you Francophiles) is was fine; it’s hard not to love luscious layers browned butter combined with vinegar or of creamy coconut, but the frozen blueberries lemon juice, which produces an acidity with an were completely tasteless, a shame consideralmost earthy tone. Pairing that with rich black ing how almost any blast of fresh fruit would cod is a simple but ingenious move, and the have accented this dish well. We took home the silky sauce pools beautifully beside the skin-on carrot cake, doused with bourbon and Indian fish. Turmeric and leeks bring extra panache. spices, and ate it the next night. It was moist Frankly, in a town with so much great seafood and boozy, and I understand now why our at its fingertips, it’s about time more restauserver recommended it over the parfait. rants join the ranks of Renee Erickson and Zoi I’ve been waiting patiently for Fremont to up Antonistas, who also know how to prepare fish its dining game; with the addition of this quietly well. inventive new restaurant joining favorites like Le The BBQ crab ($28) was a point of conPetit Cochon, its time may indeed be now. E tention between me and my dining partner.

He, with valid reason, pooh-poohed ordering nsprinkle@seattleweekly.com

SUSHI & GRINDZ 2207 1st Ave • BELLTOWN 206.956.9329 OHANABELLTOWN.COM

EAT, DRINK, SING & DANCE!!

HOLIDAY SPECIAL! BUY A $50 GIFT CARD, AND RECEIVE A FREE $20 CARD FOR YOURSELF! AT BOTH LOCATIONS~ BELLTOWN & EASTSIDE!!

R MENU!!

HAPPY$4.00HOU SUSHI & BEER

$4.99 PUPUS, SUSHI & HANDROLLS $5.00 COCKTAIL SPECIALS, SAKE & WINE $16.00 SAKE MARGARITA PITCHERS MON & TUES ALL NIGHT, WED & THURS & FRI 5-7PM LATE NIGHT: SUN-THURS 9-11:30PM HEATED DECK IS OPEN!!!

12/16- ALOHA WEDNESDAY TWO STORY ZORI!!

12/17 - GET RIGHT THURSDAY DJ CHINKEYE!!

12/18 - FRIDAY DJ KUSH-KO!!

12/19 - SATURDAY DJ HEAD-ACHE!!

12/20 - SUNDAY - KARAOKE W/ AURY MOORE! LATE NITE HAPPY HOUR 9 - MIDNITE! MONDAY & TUESDAY ABSOLUTE KARAOKE HAPPY HOUR ALL NIGHT W/ ABSOLUT DRINK SPECIALS!!

12/23- ALOHA WEDNESDAY CANNON AND THE LION OF JUDAH!

GET YOUR OHANA HUI CARD!

BEST KARAOKE IN BELLTOWN!

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

here are times you step into a restaurant and immediately sense that something unique awaits. And in a dining scene that’s currently robust, but also often derivative and lazy in menu conception and ambience, Eve Fremont’s originality in both areas is refreshing. And with most of the lauded openings happening on Capitol Hill and in Ballard these days, a jaunt to Fremont was likewise an appreciated diversion.

On a rainy Friday night, the Fremont newcomer was dark but inviting, full yet intimate, thanks in part to acoustic panels throughout that make a quiet conversation possible amid the hustle and bustle. What caught my eye first were the many Oriental rugs covering the concrete floors, an inviting departure from the cold minimalism that defines many restaurants around town.

The walls, too, are visually engaging; the piece de resistance, which covers the large back wall, consists of what at first glance appear to be random black calligraphic brushstrokes. However, stare closely until your eyes sort it out, like an optical illusion, and a loose figure of a nude reclining woman emerges, meant to represent Eve (yes, the Biblical one). There’s also a bright fuchsia painting of a split-open pomegranate—one of the forbidden fruits from the Garden of Eden—and a sparkly Tree of Life behind the bar.

And while the menu may seem to play it safe, don’t be fooled. Yes, there is a shaved kale salad ($11), but it’s subtle and proportionally perfect; the hard cheese and olives salt your palate gently thanks to the addition of sweet currants and a touch of citrus that, though mild, expertly permeates and ties together the salad. It’s the best kale preparation I’ve had all year—and it joins several other items in the “Greens and Things” section.

Likewise, the confit butternut soup ($9) as a starter is unexpectedly different from all the other butternut-squash dishes staking out menu

BBQ crab.

PHOTOS COURTESY OF EVE FREMONT

Confit butternut soup.

RESTAURANT

13

arts&culture

CONVERSATION17 REVIEWS19 CALENDAR21

The United States of Rocky Everything I know about life and America, as explained by the Rocky movies.

BY SCOTT JOHNSON

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

I

14

might just be the biggest Rocky fan in Seattle. Even before the new Creed, which I loved, I’ve had an obsessive ritual: Every winter (or whenever I get the urge, really), I sit down to watch all six films in the saga— even Rocky V (we’ll get to that later). I have a Sylvester Stallone-as-Rocky poster prominently placed on my bedroom wall; I have “Gonna Fly Now” on my phone. (More important, I also have “Hearts on Fire” on my phone.) And every damn time I run up stairs, you better believe that majestic Bill Conti theme pulses through my head. Rocky might only be a guilty pleasure for some, but to me it’s my Bible, my ur-text, my key to understanding life and America— including that historical void before I was born, before I discovered these sacred movies.

I was born in 1993, between Rocky V and Rocky Balboa. I grew up with little knowledge of the franchise beyond the Conti theme and the iconic statue of Stallone with arms outstretched at the Philadelphia Art Museum. Then in 2006 something magical happened. As a budding film fanatic, to prepare for Rocky Balboa, I decided to have my family rent the original 1976 Rocky. We sat down and watched it, and I fell in love.

That week, my family consumed all the Rocky films. It was a week full of triumph, underdogs, America, going the distance, grief, menacing villains, clichés, and formulas—and we loved it all, except part V. Since then, these Rocky-thons have become a favorite annual tradition.

At the same time, as I obsessively ranked and studied the six movies, they taught me about the Carter era (Rocky I and II,) the Reagan era (III), the Cold War (IV), and the post-Cold War era (V). All embody the zeitgeist of their times, as even a beloved franchise like Star Wars, mere fantasy, cannot. Here are their lessons, my rankings, and their cultural/personal significance.

Rocky (1976)

Lesson: The underdog can prevail.

ROCKY RANKING: 2nd Set during the bicentennial year, it’s about as American as you can get. Stallone was Oscarnominated as actor and writer, and the movie won Oscars for picture, director, and editing.

Talia Shire plays shy love interest Adrian (with genuine chemistry, it must be noted), Rocky feeds his turtles, then cocky world champ Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers) gives him a chance at destiny. A promotional bout pegged to the bicentennial allows this mumbling underdog his shot at greatness. (Burgess Meredith and Burt Young play Mickey and Paulie, respectively.) Rocky can be cheesier than Philly cheesesteak, but that’s why it works so well.

And here’s what was new and unexpectedly thrilling in ’76: the training montage.

Endlessly parodied since then, this is how the little guy gets strong, how he achieves greatness. And more: This is how flat-on-its-back, inflation-afflicted America—suffering from OPEC shocks, the recent humiliation of the Vietnam War, the memory of Watergate, etc.—re-achieves greatness. Thus the running, the heart-racing Conti fanfare, the Steadicam work of Garrett Brown, more running, the vocals and strings working their way into “Gonna Fly Now,” and finally those goddamn stairs. It’s too good. It’s definitive. It’s Rocky.

On a personal level, beyond the emotional climactic fight (Rocky actually loses a split decision), the movie offers an inspirational parable. It was never about winning for Rocky—it was about going the distance.

He gets the girl, and he and Apollo become respectful rivals. Perseverance: That’s the quality that Rocky most embodies here, and that’s what gets me through life.

Rocky II (1979)

Lesson: Wealth and power corrupt, while love stays pure.

ROCKY RANKING: 4th Rocky and Adrian get hitched, he blows through his money, Apollo offers a rematch, a medical crisis (Adrian’s premature delivery and subsequent coma) is added to the mix, and our hero experiences self-doubt. And now the Rocky formula begins to emerge: Somehow, though famous and (briefly) rich, Rocky is still the disrespected underdog. If Stallone’s screenwriting paradigm for Rocky was Marlon Brando’s Terry Malloy in On the Waterfront, who coulda been a contender, here Rocky is both a bum and a contender.

The Rocky formula also requires a strong villain. Apollo in the first film is more or less honorable, but here he becomes desperate to defend his name and title. This makes him the most complex and almost sympathetic of the Rocky villains. He’s the embodiment of an America become arrogant with power and wealth. He trains in lavish facilities with high-tech equipment, while Rocky labors in dimly lit boxing gyms and (again) runs in the street, cheered by following children. He beats on old junkers with a sledgehammer, trains on jungle gyms, jumps rope, and even catches the freaking chicken!

Rocky II is about class, and a return to roots.

If Apollo is what America is, grown slightly corrupt, Rocky is what America should be.

When the two fight again, there’s a mutual knock-down. With Adrian shouting, “Get up!”, only Rocky can clamber to his feet to claim the title. America wins, again.

My takeaway? Adrian’s devotion makes all this possible. She loves Rocky, we love Rocky, everyone loves Rocky. That’s why I watch these movies with my family: love.

Rocky III (1982)

Lesson: From grief, friendship.

ROCKY RANKING: 5th Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger” ushers us into the ’80s. For the most part, Rocky III is pretty unremarkable save for a few odd moments—and its cartoonish villains: first Hulk Hogan, then Mr. T as brash Clubber Lang. Lang is an interesting foe, self-trained and a hard worker like Rocky, but also a brutish outsider. He’s an up-by-the-bootstraps creature of the Reagan Era, fueled by determination and anger. He’s Rocky’s evil twin.

Mickey’s heart attack provides the medical crisis. Fighting without his ringman leads to a drop in confidence, Rocky gets clobbered, and Mickey dies!

The franchise thus adds another element to its recipe for success—grief. In quick succession come Mickey’s funeral, Rocky’s mourning, and the arrival of Apollo as his new trainer. The franchise evolves, yet stays the same. Transplanted to Los Angeles to train for the big rematch, Rocky again returns to his roots—grimy, impoverished lodgings and a crammed, rudimentary gym. He’s the underdog again. Another training montage concludes with Apollo and Rocky frolicking and hugging in the ocean in celebration—a moment of pure, classic cheese. Later, the two pals duke it out in an unseen epilogue (the winner revealed in Creed) that’s more meaningful than the relatively easy defeat of Lang.

While we miss Burgess Meredith, death is part of the life cycle. New friends can help fill that void, friends like Apollo.

Rocky IV (1985) Lesson: America is #1!

But peace is possible.

ROCKY RANKING: 1st My brother and I have bonded time and time again over the sheer bizarreness of this movie.

It’s endlessly quotable, with such lines as “If he dies, he dies” and “I must break you,” delivered by the menacing Russian Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren). This very, very ’80s movie, with its Cold War villain and patriotism, even has a freaking robot (given to Paulie for his birthday).

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 15

SEATTLE WEEKLY’S

HOLIDAY

G

GUIDE

SE ATTLE WEEKLY’ S 2015 HOLI DAY GIVI NG G UID E • PART FOUR

BELLEVUE SQUARE

2 SEATTLEWEEKLY-1PG-12-2-15.indd 1

12/1/15 3:10 PM

PEOPLE IN GLASSHOUSES SHOULD THROW PARTIES. Ring in 2016 under Seattle’s most

SEATTLE WEEKLY’S

HOLIDAY

iconic fireworks display as Chihuly Garden and Glass transforms into the ultimate New Year’s Eve celebration.

DECEMBER 31, 2015 | 8 PM – 1 AM Party includes:

GUIDE

• Dancing to the popular Michael Benson Band.

• A delicious array of appetizers and desserts from Chef Thomas Kollasch.

• Party favors and a complimentary sparkling wine toast at midnight.

• DJ and photo booth in Collections Café.

• Entrance to the Chihuly Garden and Glass Exhibition (between 8 PM and 10 PM).

$

200

inclusive of tax and gratuity

NEWYEARSATCHIHULY.COM Call 206.905.2148 for more information.

No host bar – Limited seating Rod Mar Photography

PAGE

IT’S DARK OUTSIDE.

That, I am convinced, is why we do this. As anyone who has been living in the city of Seattle for these past couple of months of brutal sun deprivation likely understands, it is not the demands of family or capitalism that have us all feeling overburdened. It is, rather, the oppressive weight of darkness as we push forward to the Winter Solstice, at which point our burden will so slowly lift as summer draws near. The light that the holiday season brings—be it the nativity star on the Macy’s building, the garish displays on Candy Cane Lane, or the Hanukkah menorah on your mantel—might serve some cultural or religious purpose, but they also serve a psychological one: to brighten the long night.

Likewise, gift-giving provides us with a way to step out of our shadowy shell and connect with one another at a time when we would rather just sit right here under this blanket and continue binge-watching Transparent, thank you very much.

A convenient position of the seasonally affected is to disown the holidays as a protest against commercialism. Yet buying a gift for a friend or a family member doesn’t require you to buy in to the distasteful trappings of the season. No one is expecting a new car beneath an enormous bow—at least I hope they aren’t.

Just remember that the darkness descends on us all in this season. A little extra light, or a tin of Caribbean Pineapple Cornbread delivered with a caring hand, can make all the difference.

Mark Baumgarten Editor-in-chief

COVER ILLUSTRATION

BY JOSHUA BOULET

GREATEST GIFT BUY LOCAL BUY NEARBY GIVING BACK GIFT PICKS

PAGE

11

4 5 6 7 9

SEATT LE W EE KLY’S 2015 HO LIDAY GI VI N G GU I DE • PART FOU R

8

3

•

• WISHLIST •

E AT E S T G I F T • THE GR

Mark Siano

Battling the Blues

Actor, promoter, and playwright.

(and Pinks)

TIM DURKAN

With her Jessy & Jack clothing line, one Seattle mom is giving parents adorable options.

By Diana Le

• WISHLIST •

4

“Unlikely Friends” baby onesie and matching toddler T.

W

GABY TAI

SE ATTLE WEEKLY’ S 2015 HOLI DAY GIVI NG G UID E • PART FOUR

Go West!

hether or not you have children of your own, you’re likely aware of the messed-up state of gender expression in children’s clothing and toys. In the kids’ aisles of retail stores, you’ll find pink frills, glamour dolls, and Easy-Bake ovens for girls, and shades of blue, trucks, and building toys for boys. Historically, children’s clothing was not always gendered. It wasn’t until recent U.S. history that the color-coding of our children became normalized.

If you have little ones on your holiday shopping list this year and want to show that you’re a cool adult who understands that gender is a construct, Jessy & Jack is your brand.

the clothing brand started out of necessity while she was on maternity leave from Amazon. Hartman was in the market for an all-day bib for her little girl. The problem was that she couldn’t find a bib that did not go the conventional route of flowers for girls and sports for boys. So she made her own and decorated them with gender-neutral themes. There is an elephant holding hands with a robot, an owl holding hands with a rhino, and a chick holding hands with a monster in bright, fun colors (including pink) that can be worn by any gender.

Imagining that more parents were looking for options that wouldn’t so bluntly gender their children, Hartman turned her project into a business and what she calls a “social enterprise.”

“It started out as a project to create more of the kinds of clothes I’d like my kids to wear, and grew into a larger vehicle to do good things with clothes,” she announced when launching the line last year.

•Hartman’s flagship line, which she dubbed• “unlikely friends,” currently consists of the all-day bib, burp cloths, unisex tees, “girly” tees, onesies, and rompers. The “girly” tees have cap sleeves and fit a little closer to the body than the unisex tee, which is a more relaxed fit, giving children the option of choosing what they feel most comfortable in.

This line of clothing isn’t just good for children’s boundless imagination; it’s good for the environment and the community, too. The shirts and onesies are made with 100 percent natural cotton, and the graphics are screen-printed

B U Y N E A R BY

Distribution of Bros

When I was coming of age in Seattle, the mob scene of bros was in Pioneer Square. Then it moved to Belltown. Now it has taken over weekends on Capitol Hill. I nominate the neighborhood of Wallingford to take the next generation of bros. You know who I’m talking about—maybe you call them woo girls, or the bridge-and-tunnel crowd, or the sorority scene, or douchebags, or whatever makes you feel superior (I prefer calling them “Amateur Hour”).

C’mon, Wallingford, it’s your turn. It’s only a fiveyear contract, and in exchange for a few hours of latenight chaos, your neighborhood gets a ton of money.

After that, let’s move the bro-scene to Magnolia.

MONTE ATTARD

LO C A L • •Created B Uby Y local mom Courtney Hartman,

B U Y LO C A L •

Go West!

Mark Siano

“Robot Friends” long-sleeve Ts.

•

with water-based inks rather than the typical plastisol. Water-based ink works like fabric dye, which results in the graphic being just as soft as the rest of the shirt, whereas plastisol sits on the fabric and cracks over time. Water-based ink also means less pollution, as there is no need to use harsh chemicals to clean it off equipment. Jessy & Jack also give back each season by donating a portion of their profits at the end of the quarter to a shelter that serves children.

For a company that started only last year, Jessy & Jack is doing very well, which speaks to the desire for more unisex clothing for children. In response to a demand for designs for children larger than 6T, the new “Shine Line,” which features super-shiny metallic foil designs on dark garments, goes up to size 8. The local company has also rolled out two holiday designs this year.

As if those weren’t enough options, Hartman founded a sister brand called Free to Be Kids that is “flipping the script on gender cliches.” This time she was inspired by her son, for whom she could not find any clothing that celebrated his sweet side rather than the aggressiveness typically associated with masculinity. To promote boys’ emotional capacity, the line features shirts that say “Love Is My Superpower,” “Mr. Nice Guy,” and “Very Kind,” and another that’s simply adorned with a butterfly.

The two clothing lines are still a part-time hobby, says Hartman, but the business is threatening to become something more. Parents, it seems, see a world that is more than pink and blue. E jessyandjack.com

Treasure Islands

New Residents Who Love the Arts

Let’s turn all these newbies who are flooding the city into art lovers, theatergoers, dance patrons, and live-music fans. If poor artists have to move to the outskirts of town to survive, at least we can make a buck off the new money and those fancy tech jobs.

Cities and civilizations are remembered for their •arts and culture, and we’re standing on the verge • of a Seattle golden age if the artists can capture the hearts and minds of the newcomers. If not, we might just lose an entire generation to Netflix.

B U Y N E A R BY

Treasure Island Hockey and Basketball in Seattle

We have the population, the passion, even a viable location, and we have a lot of people with excess income—so can we please have an NHL team and bring back the Sonics? I’m going to be an old man soon, and in my later days I’d like to whittle away the hours drinking beer and watching hockey.

Lighten Up, Seattle

Seriously, everyone, lighten up.

End the Stigma of Living With Your Parents

B Ain order IN CK • to live with G their parents to cope •have GhadI V

So many of my friends in their 20s, 30s, and 40s

with housing and income woes, or in many cases to take care of an elderly or sick family member.

They always feel terrible and embarrassed to share this information, as if they’ve failed at life. Let’s stop snickering at those who live with their parents and grandparents. It is totally normal and healthy, and it doesn’t have to be a humiliation. Let’s face it, it’s a reasonable allocation of resources—and maybe, just maybe, if you play your vintage retro cards just right, living with the fam might just be cool again. E Siano is currently starring as dyspeptic club owner Mike Binnet in Sauced, playing at Cafe Nordo until Dec. 20 (cafenordo.com). He will also appear in Seattle Vice, a musical he co-wrote with Opal Peachey, at The Triple Door, Jan. 22–31 (thetripledoor.net).

Furry Friends

•

GIFT PICKS •

B U Y LO C A L •

•

Go West!

Unique gifts await across Elliott Bay.

By Jeanny Rhee

•

B U Y N E A R BY •

Treasure Islands

G I V I N G B AC K •

COURTESY OF FLIP AND TUMBLE

•

CLARE BARBOZA

S

ometimes the city is just too much.

All the hustle and bustle and traffic, all that traffic, especially during these winter days with their dark skies and wet streets. It’s enough to make you want to escape to somewhere a little cozier and homier.

For you there’s West Seattle. And • what better reason to get away to this small town within the city than holiday shopping?

For just $5 you can buy a one-way ticket for a short cruise from the downtown waterfront on the public water taxi, so ditch your car (and traffic) and enjoy the views of the Olympic Mountains and the Cascade Range. Upon arrival, head first to Bakery Nouveau (4737 California Ave. S.W., 923-0534) for its highly coveted twice-baked almond croissants, made fresh daily. Locals know the exact time to score these delectable pastries, so while you wait in line, hope they won’t be sold out by the time you reach the counter.

Croissant in hand, browse the slew of independent boutiques that line California Avenue, otherwise known as The Junction. To check off

328-9252) to find everything you never thought you needed: foldable wine totes in two-tone colors; revamped vintage radios with built-in quality amplifiers and speakers; herb scissors; a five-in-one barbecue multi-tool. Frequently dubbed the city’s best record store, Easy Street Records (4559 California Ave. S.W., 938-3279) is one of the last few standing shops selling new, used, and collectible vinyl. Wrap them carefully and present them at any holiday party with a turntable and audiophiles.

Around the corner is Twilight Gallery & Boutique (4306 S.W. Alaska St., 933-2444), a West Seattle gem and a favorite art gallery for all the right reasons. Working primarily with independent designers, jewelers, and artists, Twilight • will make your head spin from the creative overload. Peruse the jewelry, from whimsical pendants dipped in gold paint to avant-garde cuffs—but don’t forget to look up every now and then to inspect the racy art, ready to be gifted to the young hipsters on your list with empty bedroom walls. And latecomers rejoice!

Every Thursday in December, participating shops in The Junction will stay open until 8 p.m.

Gather your loved ones and don’t miss the fifth annual West Seattle Lights on Christmas Eve to enjoy with free hot chocolate. Afterward, head to Alki Beach Park to build a bonfire and huddle ’round the warmth as you gaze at the skyline views and bask in the city lights across the bay before heading home. E

Incredibly close-up and compact

Save

$30

GIFT PICKS

Bound With a Bow

•

GIFT PICKS •

18.2MP

EXMOR R® CMOS SENSOR

HX90V

CYBER-SHOT® DIGITAL CAMERA

$39999

Was $42999 Valid 12/16/2015-12/19/2015 FREE 16GB SD memory card with the purchase of the HX90V.

3.0"

LCD DISPLAY

10 FPS

30x

OPTICAL ZOOM

60x

CLEAR IMAGE ZOOM

Valid 12/16/2015-12/19/2015

©2015 Sony Electronics Inc. All rights reserved. Sony and its logo are trademarks of Sony Corporation. Prices and terms of offers are subject to change or cancellation without notice or while supplies last. Sony is not responsible for photographic, typographic or system errors. Offers noncombinable, non-transferable and non-redeemable.

433 8th Ave N. in South Lake Union Seattle, WA 98109 // 206-624-1100 www.glazerscamera.com

SEATT LE W EE KLY’S 2015 HO LIDAY GI VI N G GU I DE • PART FOU R

Furry Friends

everyone on your gift list at one go, stop by Click!

Design That Fits (4540 California Ave. S.W.,

5

•

B U Y N E A R BY •

Treasure Islands

SE ATTLE WEEKLY’ S 2015 HOLI DAY GIVI NG G UID E • PART FOUR

G I V I N G B AC K •

Furry Friends Yarns at Island Wools.

the alpaca farm, so you can meet the fuzzy little guys who helped make your clothes.

If your loved one prefers attire of the woolen variety, stop by Island Wools (140 First St., Friday Harbor, 360-370-5648). If you’re handy with needles, grab some of the colorful bundles of hand-dyed yarn in every color of the rainbow and make a unique present. Know someone who rides the bus to work? Someone with anxious tendencies, or a little too much time on their hands? An ex-smoker who needs a replace• and needles! ment habit? Gift them some yarn

Krystal Acres’ shop.

A knitting “starter pack” is a great, nonperishable gift, because even if they don’t fancy it now, there’s a good chance they will by the time they’re a little old lady! Or man!

Get boozy at the San Juan Islands Distillery (12 Anderson Lane, Friday Harbor, 360-378 2606), specializing in small batches of cider and brandy as well as an array of other unique liqueurs and spirits. Navy Strength Gin? Yes, please!

Thimbleberry brandy? Not sure what a thimbleberry is, but you • can find out at one of their tast-

GIFT PICKS

Bound With a Bow

•

GIFT PICKS •

•

GIFT PICKS •

fashion

For the Explorer

ings, held each Saturday from 1 and 4 p.m. I hear their lavender and wild-rose liqueur is also quite popular, and widely used in house cocktail recipes like the Red Sky at Night. Ooh la la.

Mystical Mermaid (65 Spring St, Friday Harbor, 360-378-2617) lives up to its name with brightly decorated walls, a fluorescent aquarium, and an enchanting gift shop filled with underwaterthemed trinkets like necklaces, cards, and wall murals. These gifts will transport anyone from the gloomy Pacific Northwest winter into a cheerful underwater oasis. The shop also features a surreal “garden room” full of bonsai trees and cacti. You might think the desert succulents would feel out of place underwater, but they fit surprisingly well into the shop’s mystic vibe.

How about the old cheeseand-cracker box? San Juan Island Cheese (155 Nichols St, Friday Harbor, 360-370-5115) offers a spin on that classic gift with the “bite box,” a collection of cheese, chocolate, salts, and lavender from the local islands. They will even ship it for you, if you’d like to give out-of-town relatives a taste of Washington state. Stop in for a hot sandwich, a quiche, or a cheese board full of nuts, fruits, preserves, and crackers. My indigestion says no, but my heart says yes! E PAUL WALSH

6

•

MAHIUS CONCORD

T

he San Juan Islands have hunkered down for the winter. The ferries, whose docks once teemed with windwhipped tourists, now shuttle quietly through the fog of the Sound. The campgrounds, once overflowing with boatloads of families, are now waterlogged and uninhabitable. Without all the visitors, the island-dwelling population has dwindled to its token community.

The San Juans in the winter are truly an isolationist’s (read: writer’s) paradise. Putting together a gift guide for the islands seems almost redundant, because every shop in the San Juans is basically a gift shop. If you’re escaping the mainland for an authentic Pacific Northwest experience, some sweet solitude, or a cozy winter in, here are a few gift ideas to consider.

Don’t think you have any use for an alpaca shawl? I didn’t either, until I received one as a gift and it revolutionized my wardrobe. Go ahead, keep your apartment two degrees colder and traipse around in a look best described as babushka-chic. A cozy, insulated shawl from Krystal Acres Farm & Alpaca (3501 West Valley Rd., Friday Harbor, 360-378-6125) will keep you toasty and make even your favorite knit sweater or cozy bathrobe pale in comparison. The shop is full of alpaca-made wares, like unimaginably cozy socks, slippers that look like fuzzy mop-bunnies, and luxurious sofa throws. Plus, it’s located on

Every shop is a gift shop in the San Juan Islands.

By Jennifer Karami

•

G I V I N G B AC K •

Furry Friends

Harbor Association of Volunteers for Animals provides rural pets and people in need with companionship.

By Mara Silvers

A

•

GIFT PICKS •

Bound With a Bow CHRISTINE BALCOM

t the Harbor Association of Volunteers for Animals, animal rescue is the main concern. Since 1989, the animal sanctuary in Raymond, Wash., has long rescued (and snipped) animals from the west side of the Olympic Peninsula and given safe harbor to cats and dogs, as well as rats and horses.

But what makes the nonprofit, volunteerrun organization unique is programming that sustains loving connections between humans and animals. One such program, Freedom Tails, allows inmates at the Stafford Creek Corrections Center in Aberdeen to help train abandoned dogs over the course of a 10-week program, all run by a single volunteer. By the end of each session, the 13 newly trained dogs are put up for adoption.

HAVA President Dee Roberts says that the graduation ceremony will tug on your heartstrings: “To see these great big burly guys loving on these dogs . . . they cry when they hand over their dogs to the new owner.” She muses that this is the first time that many of the men get to care for a pet so intimately, and that seeing the dog through its training process can be very healing for the inmates.

Three of the more than 250 cats rescued by HAVA.

Another special program is Senior for Senior, in which HAVA helps supplement the cost of animal care so that elderly community members can afford to keep their pets. •

In its 36 years, the organization has grown from a renovated house capable of housing just 24 pets into a 3,000-square-foot facility, run • The space is important, by about 40 volunteers.

GIFT PICKS

fashion

GIFT PICKS •

For the Explorer

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 8

SEATT LE W EE KLY’S 2015 HO LIDAY GI VI N G GU I DE • PART FOU R

•

Roberts says, since the shelter’s goal is never to turn any animal in need away. “Saving an animal, like a cat and a litter of kittens, from death is my top priority,” she says.

Money is also important to the operation.

Last year, HAVA recorded donations totaling $109,000 and expenditures of $104,000; HAVA’s reserves are precious. Subsidizing co-pays, covering veterinary and food costs, the general upkeep of the sanctuary—every penny counts. “We do a fundraiser every month . . . [but] our budget is really tight. I’m tired of begging for money,” says Roberts. “What we can’t get, I supplement. That’s what keeps the doors open every month.”

Despite such a low budget, HAVA stays true to its mission by offering its services widely.

“There’s so many people that need help. All of the other shelters are full, and they just don’t have the room or the capacity,” explains Roberts. Because of their community support, she says they’re often able to find foster or adoptive homes in under five days.

Just last spring, Roberts and her husband had 21 cats living at their house. “They were in the living room, they were in my office,” she laughs.

“Thank the Lord for my husband.”

7

Your donation of $35 will feed all the cats and dogs in need at PAWS for one day. Help keep their bellies full and their paws toasty and warm this holiday season.

Give on behalf of a friend, or just because you care.

Give today at paws.org/hope or call 425.787.2500 x256 PAWS is a 501(c)(3) non-profit and relies on donations to carry out our work to help animals.

Thanks to the Snow Leopard Trust, this cat isn’t going anywhere.

Asked what she and the board wish for their holiday donations, Roberts begins to cry. “If I had one wish, I wish I had a million dollars in the account so I could go to bed without worrying about how we’re going to pay the bills for the next couple of years. Also for people to get their pets spayed and neutered so they can put us out of business.” hava-heart.org ANIMAL RESCUE

Charities helping animals in need that need your help.

SE ATTLE WEEKLY’ S 2015 HOLI DAY GIVI NG G UID E • PART FOUR

Friends of the Animals Foundation

8

n o s u w o M l l A o R f G A T INS @

Started in 1997, the FAF has been dedicated to uniting abandoned cats and kittens with loving, stable homes. Completely run by volunteers, FAF has resettled over 4,000 felines since its inception and doesn’t plan to slow down anytime soon. Located in West Seattle, FAF adheres to the trap/neuter/return method for reducing the feral-cat population and helping animals find their forever homes. FAF asks for community engagement through sponsoring animals, becoming a foster home, monetary and in-kind donations, and adoptions. fafseattle.org Chimpanzee Sanctuary Northwest

What do Annie, Burrito, Foxie, Jamie, Jody, Missy, and Negra all have in common? They are all residents at Chimpanzees Sanctuary Northwest, a rescue home for chimps who were previously used for biomedical research or in the entertainment industry. While the sanctuary does not have all of their medical records, they know that the animals faced inadequate living conditions, being bred in captivity, separated from their babies, and used for hepatitis vaccine research. At the sanctuary, the chimps are cared for and respected in a way many of them have never experienced. In 2014, nearly half of CSNW’s $582,563 revenue was used for chimpanzee care. The sanctuary says that in the past year they have received more generous donations than ever, and look forward to continuing to provide a high quality of life for their residents. chimpsanctuarynw.org Snow Leopard Trust

Based in Seattle but with programs across five different countries that contain 75 percent of the world’s snow leopard population, the Snow Leopard Trust conducts research, introduces

COURTESY CHIMPS ANCTUARY

For the love of kittens!

PETER BOLLIGER

Furry Friends » FROM PAGE 7

A resident of Chimpanzee Sanctuary Northwest.

vaccines, and develops local economies to better protect this endangered species. With snow leopards facing disease, poaching, retribution killings, and habitat loss, the Trust’s work is increasingly important. In 2014, of its $2 million in revenue, 83 percent went into conservation programming.

Because of strategic decisions and community building in China, Kyrgyzstan, Mongolia, Pakistan, and India, snow leopards are getting closer to being a stable species. snowleopard.org Wolf Haven International

Since 1982, Wolf Haven International has provided a home to wolves that have been born in captivity or displaced because of wilderness mismanagement. Located 77 miles south of Seattle, Wolf Haven takes an “animal-centric approach” to managing their sanctuary as opposed to a “human-centric approach,” emphasizing that people are clearly defined as visitors in the wolves’ home. Donations to Wolf Haven help to feed and care for the current residents, most of which have experienced only negative interactions with humans and human settlements. wolfhaven.org Pasado’s Safe Haven

Pasado’s Safe Haven has been investigating and rescuing animals for nearly 25 years, and houses between 200 and 250 animals throughout the year. Coming from situations of hoarding, neglect, abuse, or forced entertainment, the animals that arrive here are guaranteed an improved quality of life. In 2014, Pasado’s program expenditures totaled over $2 million. With over 500 investigations into animal cruelty every year and a well-kept 85-acre sanctuary outside of Seattle for a variety of animals, Pasado’s is investing its donations and grants into services for animals deserving of care and support. pasadosafehaven.org E

•

GIFT PICKS •

Bound With a Bow Books for every kind of reader on your list.

By T.S. Flock A Little Life

By Hanya Yanagihara

•

For the fiction fan: Shortlisted for the Man Booker prize, Hanya Yanagihara’s majestic bestseller (Doubleday) has been called a “sleeper hit,” but readers have spent many sleepless nights following the lives of its four friends over decades.

• Spirits crumble under trauma and seek restoration through love. Readers are left to meditate on many troubling questions, but also receive a portrait of empathy and hope that may guide them in answering these questions for themselves.

GIFT PICKS

SUBSCRIBE! AUGUST 6-12,

2014 I VOLUM E

CLIMBING OUT

Get Seattle Weekly delivered directly to your home - subscribe today!

Intro Special $29 for the first 6 months

39 I NUMBE R

32

OF HOMELESSNE

SS PAGE 7 | DINI

NG IN THE DAR

K PAGE 74 | FEST

$$$

BEOFST SEATTLE

THE LITTLE THIN

GS THAT MAKE

CEO

A BIG DIFFEREN

CE.

To sign up, call 888-838-3000

Slade House

By David Mitchell

For the audiophile: This beautifully photographed and intimate coffee table book from Ten Speed Press takes readers into the vinyl collections of producers, DJs, and music lovers around the world. At a time when CDs have become dated and clunky, the warmth of old vinyl maintains its mystique, and interviews with these collectors conducted over five years illuminate • the many reasons why the international vinyl community remains as passionate as ever.

For the horror fan: David Mitchell displayed a knack for unconventional storytelling with his bestselling Cloud Atlas, and with Slade House (Random House) he goes weirder—and much creepier. It’s a quick read, but in five chapters spanning almost a decade, his tale of soul-sucking vampires and benevolent immortals plays with reader expectations. Common horror tropes make you think you know where you’re going in this haunted house. Think again.

IC KS English and Their • History G I F T PThe

By Robert Tombs

For the Explorer

Native Funk & Flash: An Emerging Folk Art

By Alexandra Jacopetti

Theatrum Chemicum Britannicum

By Elias Ashmole

For the bibliophile: The hermetic practice of alchemy became chemistry over time as its magical elements were disproved, but it continues to fascinate readers today, just as it did Elias Ashmole in 1652, when he published this anthology of poetic writings, engravings, and diagrams by • British alchemists. Faithfully renewed by Seattle’s Ouroboros Press, it is a work of art that will delight those who love books for books’ sake.

For the history buff: To narrate 2,000 years of English history with authority and verve and successfully link the distant past to current affairs is a monumental task, but Tombs masters it in his 2014 tome from Allen Lane. The book is exhaustive without being exhausting, and vital for anyone interested in global politics. As international turmoil deepens, the history of an empire that has shaped borders and policies on every continent is essential to understanding where we are now and why.

Pacific: Silicon Chips and Surfboards, Coral Reefs and Atom Bombs, Brutal Dictators, Fading Empires, and the Coming Collision of the World’s Superpowers

By Simon Winchester

For the essayist: The title of Winchester’s latest collection of essays on the economies and cultures of the Pacific seems to say it all. But in fact so much more is offered in this rollicking look at the last century from Harper. Seattle’s place on the Pacific Rim makes it especially provocative to us, and at times all the more disquieting.

artwork by Alicia Brooks

ICKS • G I F T PDinomania: The Lost Art of Winsor McCay, the

The Cornucopia

Collected Haiku of Yosa Buson

For the poet: Haiku are notoriously difficult—if not impossible—to translate. Perhaps that’s why the collected works of this master poet have not been translated until this volume from Copper Canyon. W.S. Merwin and Takako Lento collaborated for nearly a decade to produce this magisterial collection of poetry originally published in Japan in the mid-18th century. For lovers of poetry and Asia, it’s a must-have.

Secret Origins of King Kong, and the Urge to Destroy New York

By Ulrich Merkl

For the comic lover: Winsor McCay was a pioneer in comics and animation, and Merkl’s big, beautiful trove of illustrations and photographs— many unseen for nearly a century—is more than an homage to one man. Merkl’s archival work, collected here by Fantagraphics, better reveals how sequential art forms developed in the 20th century. It’s great popular history, and bound to be enjoyed by readers young and old with their own case of dinomania. E

Children’s Holiday Storytime:

Christmas Classics

read by guest Seattle actors

Saturday, December 19 at 11am

The Elliott Bay a ay Book Company Since 19 1 73

Share your storytime art with us in the store or on Instagram @elliottbaybookco elliottbaybook.com

SEATT LE W EE KLY’S 2015 HO LIDAY GI VI N G GU I DE • PART FOU R

For the fashionista: From wildly ornate embroidery and beading to fully crocheted garments with unearthly silhouettes, the psychedelic designs of the ’60s and ’70s fused visual and conceptual art into garment designs. That era continues to inspire designers and stylists, and it is all beautifully captured by the photography of Jerry Wainwright and the writing of Alexandra Jacopetti in this book from Trafford. You can see examples of it at the “Counter Couture” exhibit at Bellevue Arts Museum (which offers this book in its shop).

LY.COM

MICRO-CITY

fashion Dust and Grooves: Adventures in Record Collecting

By Eilon Paz

SEATTLEWEEK

9

I FREE

BESTS PAGE 85

a

ceeds sup pro p

•

GIFT PICKS •

The Cornucopia

t or

ll

Delectable presents for the pantry from local artisans.

By Tiffany Ran, Nicole Sprinkle, & Jacob Uitti

Be inspired create your own look with our vintage & holiday home décor.

Holiday Save Clearance 50% on items with lavender tags 12/16 - 12/23

7710 SE 34th St., Mercer Island, WA 98040

(206)275-7760

www.miyfs.org

GETTING SOMETHING A little NAUGHTY CAN BE really NICE. Elevate the holidays with ZOOTS .

10

PREMIUM CANNABIS INFUSED EDIBLES

Teas From SugarPill

With the winter season comes overeating, stress, and the common cold, and a simple cup of tea may be the cure-all. SugarPill owner Karyn Schwartz fashions medicinal tea blends to cure various ailments, including a calm tea, detox tea, tea for colds and the flu, and sleep, to name a few. Name the ailment and Schwartz will provide a lovingly curated blend of tea leaves and herbs, perfect as a stocking stuffer to get one through the holiday stress and chilly months. TL $6.75–7.75. SugarPill, 900 E. Pine St., 322-7455, sugarpillseattle.com

Caribbean pineapple cornbread at Nue.

1519 14th Ave., 257-0312, info@nueseattle.com, nueseattle.com Chocolate Spaghetti

Passing by the abundance that is Pike Place Market, surely you’ve seen the sign and display of Pappardelle’s Pasta, the friendly folks offering samples of different dried spaghetti amid all the Market’s flowers and fish. One delicacy we recommend, among the chipotle-pepper

Hot Cakes Rye-Whiskey Caramel

You may not always taste that “hint of caramel” in your booze, but you’ll definitely taste the booze in this caramel. Hot Cakes’ limitededition rye-whiskey caramel adds a healthy glug of Old Overhold to its decadent caramel, made with organic cream from Fresh Breeze Dairy.

Use it on ice cream or caramelized fruit, or eat it straight with a swig. It’s the only caramel in town suited to being sold in a 10-ounce flask. TL $18.

Hot Cakes on Capitol Hill and Ballard and in various local markets, 258-2591, getyourhotcakes.com Nue’s Caribbean Pineapple Cornbread

Warning: This product has intoxicating effects and may be habit forming. Marijuana can impair concentration, coordination, and judgment. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. There may be health risks associated with consumption of this product. For use only by adults 21 and older. Keep out of the reach of children.

Once the humble accompaniment to Nue’s Trinidad goat curry, the Caribbean pineapple cornbread quickly became a signature item, and the street food-centric restaurant is offering it for preorder and pickup at its Capitol Hill location. This lightly sweet pineapple cornbread, crowned with a veil of coconut flakes, weighs in at over five pounds in a tin that serves roughly 12 people, suitable for holiday parties and dinners.

Scheduled pickups for one or two days out can be made by phone or e-mail. TL $25. Nue Seattle,

COURTESY OF HOT CAKES

SE ATTLE WEEKLY’ S 2015 HOLI DAY GIVI NG G UID E • PART FOUR

Find your neighborhood store at zootology.com.

COURTESY OF NUE

Store hours: Monday - Saturday 10-7, Sunday 12-5

Los Roast Chilies

At Picnic, a food and wine boutique in Greenwood, you can find a number of cute and delicious gifts for the epicurean in your life.

One suggestion? Their Los Roast New Mexican Chilies, available in red or green ($12/bottle): a delicious, spicy blend of peppers for an expert enchilada. The cost also helps support “the best small chile farms in New Mexico.” Also available is their pink drinking vinegar with cardamom ($21/bottle) for spicing up holiday bubbly or cocktails. JU Picnic, 6801 Greenwood Ave. N., 453-5867, picnicseattle.com San Juan Sea Salt and Honey

Farmer and UW graduate Brady Ryan has been experimenting with making sea salt on his

family farm from a young age. Now, using the power of the sun and the majesty of a greenhouse, Ryan sells his own natural (pink) sea salt from the Ryan Farm in Friday Harbor. Also living on Ryan Farm is his girlfriend, Leah, who owns Bloom of San Juan; the two co-run San Juan Honey. Together, they curate these delicately crafted, beautiful, and delicious natural gifts. JU Sea salt, $5/oz.; honey, $5/1.5 oz. sanjuan islandseasalt.com Peekaboo Cupcakes

Julia E. Lee, owner and baker at Peekaboo Cupcakery, borrows from her Latin and Asian background to create made-to-order cupcakes with unexpected flavors—in the cake and the frosting. A favorite is the lychee cupcake with rose buttercream. Eating one is as close as you’ll get to biting into the exotic fruit itself: your taste buds immediately register the floral, vaguely grape-like musky sweetness. Other deliciously unusual combos include chocolate kumquat, matcha green tea, and red bean. They’re an elegant addition to any fete. NS $39–$45 per dozen.

206-388-3690, peekaboocupcakery.com E

COURTESY OF SAN JUAN ISLAND SEA SALT

fettuccine and garden-spinach angel hair, is the dark-chocolate linguine. Pappardelle’s pasta dough is infused with dark chocolate to create a dessert pasta to which you can add berries, whipped cream, or confectioners’ sugar. JU $8/lb. Pappardelle’s Pasta, 1519 Pike Pl., 3404114, pappardellespasta.com

Impact somebody else’s world.

IMPACT YOUR OWN WORLD.

Make a $50 donation to charity and or Ekornes Collection seating.

Nov. 18 - Jan 18

In the world’s most comfortable seating, everything else just seems to melt away. Find your peace of mind on a Stressless and enjoy quality time with the things that matter most in life.

TAKE A STRESSLESS COMFORT TEST & ENTER TO WIN A STRESSLESS CHAIR & OTTOMAN.

720 Andover Park East

Tukwila, WA 98188 206-405-4411 M O E S H O M E . C O M

SEATT LE W EE KLY’S 2015 HO LIDAY GI VI N G GU I DE • PART FOU R

Stressless is proudly endorsed by the American Chiropractic Association.

11

Follow us!

•

I C K SExplore For T PFor the Exp G I Fthe •

•

ForFANS the Explorer 33,000 AND COUNTING! Gifts for kids 14-17.

By Jacob Uitti

Tube Tent

instagram.com/

facebook.com/SeattleWeekly

Ă–=Â?à žĂ&#x; Ă&#x;Ă&#x;Ă&#x;Ă&#x;Ă&#x;Ă&#x;Ă&#x; à ¾¾=Ă–Ă›| Ă&#x;Ă&#x;Ă&#x;Ă&#x;Ă&#x;Ă&#x;Ă&#x; It’s Time to Collect Your

à ¾¾hYå

.Ă–=ci

For every $25 spent, receive one dragon dollar when you shop December 16-31, 2015

Collect 4 dragon dollars and trade them in for one 2016 Uwajimaya Calendar (while supplies last)

G I F T P I C• KGSI F• T P I C K

The Bureau of Fearless Ideas has myriad camping and survival gear for sale for young Seattle explorers, but let’s touch on maybe the most important: the tent. When you camp, you need shelter, and sometimes you need it quickly.

This orange tube tent ($14) is simple and easy to set up in all weather. It will shield you from the rain or sun and provide the home base every explorer needs when venturing to discover what really is out there. $14. Available at The Bureau of Fearless Ideas, 8414 Greenwood Ave. N., 7252625, 826seattle.org

•

GIFT PICK

GIFT PICKS •

The Cornu Cornucopia TheThe Cornucopia

-Óh½d

Ă Ă–

Save your dragon dollars to spend in stores January 1-12, 2016 (Restrictions Apply)

•

Carcassonne

•

P IofCtheKbestSthings • about Card Kingdom is G I F TthatOne they let you try games before you buy them.

One of their most popular titles, Carcassonne, is a tile-placement game for two to five players, who develop fortifications around the French city while sending characters out into the countryside to battle. It’s a more advanced game, says Card Kingdom’s staff, though the box says it’s for ages 8 and up. $35. Card Kingdom, 5105 Leary Ave. N.W., 523-2273, cardkingdom.com Rocket Race Car

Ballard’s Clover Toy Store is jam-packed with great gift ideas for kids of all ages, but one that caught our eye is the Rocket Race Car, a waterand air-pressure-powered four-wheeler that can travel nearly 100 feet. It’s part of a series of ecoscience toys made by 4M, which also includes a weather station (with wind vane and rain gauge) and a dynamo torch that converts motion to energy. $24. Clover Toy Story, 5333 Ballard Ave. N.W., 782-0715, clovertoys.com E

It’s a

Wonderful

» FROM PAGE 14

Rocky V (1990)

Lesson: Even Rocky makes mistakes.

ROCKY RANKING: 6th

Rocky Balboa (2006)

Lesson: Move forward until you can’t, then step aside.

ROCKY RANKING: 3rd Years have passed, Adrian has died (grief !), Rocky owns a restaurant named for her, and his estranged son is mostly out of the pic-

DEC ��–�� IN ��MM!

SATURDAY

@ 1:30PM

& 4:00PM

ELF

Fri - SUN & TUES @ 7:00PM & 9:30PM (MON @ 9:30PM)

SEAHAWKS SUNDAY BRUNCH SUNDAY @ 1:05PM

Fri 12/18: 630pm Sat 12/19: 4pm, 630pm & 9pm Sun 12/20: 4pm & 630pm Mon 12/21 – Wed 12/23: 630pm & 9pm Thur 12/24: 4pm & 630pm Fri 12/25: 630pm

THE TOTALLY CHRISTMAS SING ALONG! WEDNESDAY @ 7:00PM

GR ANDILLUSIONCINEMA.ORG ���� NE ��TH STREET | ���-����

ture. In many ways the movie’s like a funeral.

When Rocky visits Adrian’s grave and talks to her tombstone, he’s almost preparing for his own internment.

But then technology comes into play, as a boxing simulator slates younger Rocky as the virtual victor over current champ Mason “The Line” Dixon. People urge an actual fight, so the aged ex-pugilist resumes training. For the first time since Rocky II, we hear the Conti theme. Now it’s more elegiac than exciting: 30 years after the first Rocky, he’s now an underdog because of his age. Forget about revenge (as in III and IV ); here Rocky is fighting mortality.

The fight comes, the two duke it out, and it ends inconclusively. Instead of the usual cheers, Rocky simply thanks Dixon and leaves the ring. He doesn’t care about the winner or loser. As in the first Rocky, it’s about going the distance to prove himself.

Here is the philosophical essence of the Rocky series, delivered in one classic line from Rocky Balboa: “It ain’t about how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” It’s a mantra not just for a boxer, but for an underdog franchise that’s suffered so many blows from critics.

Rocky has taken a lot of hits over the past four decades, and so have we as a nation.

That’s why the Rocky films are both formulaic and profoundly hopeful. Rocky himself remains a fundamentally shy, decent, humble person—the kind of man I aspire to be. He works hard, loves his friends and family, and pushes forward through any challenge.

Here’s something else to consider: At the end of every Rocky movie, he doesn’t have any enemies. He’s a boxer who makes peace, who unites people—and countries. Maybe these movies were never about fighting in the first place. E

film@seattleweekly.com

Seattle International Film Festival May 19 - June 12, 2016 festival tickets & passes

holiday

price drop!

savings for all · dec 7 - 25

.net

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

As fans of the Indiana Jones movies know, there are some films in a series that you just have to either completely ignore or bitterly accept. Rocky V is the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull of the Rocky franchise.

Where to start? There’s the fact that Rocky doesn’t actually box in the film. There’s conflict with rebellious Rocky Jr., who gets an earring that looks like a spit-wad hanging off his ear.

And Rocky is training a protégé, the cocky Tommy “Machine” Gunn (groan), with whom he has a final street fight that concludes with a totally whiffed uppercut that’s about three feet away from Gunn’s jaw.

It’s also important to note that at the time, this was going to be the end of the franchise.

After announcing his retirement in part IV, Rocky is here simply too beat up to continue fighting; and having lost all his money, he becomes a trainer. Symbolically, Rocky is searching for vocation and purpose—just as the U.S. won the Cold War and rhetorically asked “Who to fight now?” Only there is no next opponent. Rocky V doesn’t have much reason for existing, and even Stallone has since said he found it disappointing.

Me too, and that’s the personal takeaway here: Quit while you’re ahead.

Life

SHOWTIMES

DECEMBER 18 - 24

UNITED ARTISTS

You want grief ? Apollo dies in the ring against Drago! You want a great song? How about James Brown’s “Living in America”?

You want a training montage? First there’s a prelude (cue Survivor’s “Burning Heart”), which contrasts Drago’s high-tech training with Rocky’s rustic cabin routine—running in the snow, crossing frozen streams, throwing rocks, etc. Then comes the full symphony: John Cafferty’s “Hearts on Fire” accompanies Rocky pulling oxcarts, crumpling Drago’s picture, and running up a mountain! At the top he yells “DRAGO!” (What else?) It’s overthe-top and fucking incredible.

We know how things are going to go with the final revenge match. Wearing Apollo’s old red, white, and blue trunks (which reappear in Creed), America defeats Russia . . . er, I mean Rocky defeats Drago. Rocky even makes a speech about peace and unity between these two nations, and I would like to believe this is why the Cold War ended. In fact, I never knew what the Cold War was until I watched Rocky IV. High school would later fill in the gaps of my non-Rocky historical education, but the true value of Rocky IV lies in that final speech about fellowship and reconciliation. I try to live my life in the same way.

15

profile

TRIBAL SEEDS with THE SKINTS + THE STEPPAS

X

1/21

8:00PM

KEXP & SHOWBOX PRESENT

BILLY ZOOM’S XMAS MIRACLE 12/18

with MIKE WATT AND THE SECONDMEN 9:00PM

AN ELECTRIFYING 14-PIECE TRIBUTE TO MICHAEL JACKSON

1/9

SUPERDIAMOND 1/22

STS9

9:00PM

KEXP, SHOWBOX & TRACTOR TAVERN PRESENT

JD MCPHERSON with HONEYHONEY

1/12

8:30PM

BIG HEAD TODD AND THE MONSTERS 1/14

with MIKE DOUGHTY

1/23

BRYSON TILLER

HOODIE ALLEN

8:00PM

SHOWBOX AND USC EVENTS PRESENT

with SUPER DUPER KYLE + BLACKBEAR

2/5

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

2/6

16

9:00PM

2/20

9:00PM

3/30

BORGEOUS + MORGAN PAGE with DELORA

9:00PM

LOGIC UNDEROATH

KEXP’S POSITIVE VIBRATIONS AND SHOWBOX PRESENT HAWAIIAN PUNCH WINTER TOUR

IRATION + PEPPER with NEW KINGSTON

2/19

3/24

8:30PM

ON SALE FRIDAY AT 10AM

1/25

9:00PM

MASTERS OF ILLUSION

MOORE THEATRE

4/4

7:30PM

CIARA

8:00PM

HATSUNE MIKU 8:00PM

4/23

WAMU THEATER

SHOWBOXPRESENTS.COM

BY KELTON SEARS

9:00PM

with THEY.

7:30PM

A reclusive 19-year-old producer has web fans raving about his melancholy electronica.

8:00PM

I

Erickson has been writing his introspective, ambin September 2013, a surrealist Russian Youent odes to sadness, longing, and imaginary/real girlTuber named kora0081 uploaded a video friends since he was just 13. After first hearing Fatboy entitled “ ,” or Slim’s “Praise You,” he realized you could make inter“Harry Cook and the Goblet of Borscht.”The esting music with a computer, and began experimentbizarre video would rack up 1.7 million views and ing with cheap Windows recording programs and inadvertently bolster the profile of a lonely young LSDJ, a program that allows users to hack Gameboys electronic producer named WMD from the tiny and turn their 8-bit soundboards into instruments. central-Washington town of Cashmere.

He posted his early songs to 8bitcollective.com, a “It was like YouTube poop,” 19-year-old Michael now-defunct web forum for chiptune music, where Erickson tells me over the phone from his relatively the Gameboy-hacking community could rank and new home at Western Washington University. “It critique your songs. These early, buzzing video-game was a bunch of really strange clips from Harry Pottunes are technically WMD’s most popular—the ter stitched together and edited weird. And two of ones used by both the Russian and game-review my songs are really harshly cut into parts of it.”The YouTube channels for their videos. But Erickson epileptic video credits WMD in the description and despises many of these early songs. While his links to his songs, which has driven an impressive songwriting still incorporates a few subtle chiptune amount of traffic to the elusive musician’s Bandcamp elements, his music has grown much more mature, page (wmdchiptune.bandcamp.com). “I have this big nuanced, and emotional over time, an evoluweb following,” Erickson says, “but it’s mostly tion you can also see in his album titles: because of that and this YouTube gamWMD Three Emotional Songs for a Very Emoing channel”—a prolific video-game With Retrodream, tional Time; The Latest in a Series of review series called Gamers Dissent HimeHime. The RendezPersonal Crises; Melancholy; Wilt; etc. that uses Erickson’s songs as the vous, 2322 Second Ave., “I used to have these things, intro and outro to all its videos, and therendezvous.rocks. $8.

I’d call them nostalgia attacks,” similarly links to his music.

21 and over. 9:30 p.m.

Erickson says. “I’d be laying in bed Like most of WMD’s fans, I Sun., Dec. 20. and think of something that hapstumbled into Erickson’s naturalistic pened when I was younger, and go into electronica world mostly by accident, this three-day depression of hating myself. but was blown away (and a little dumbWhen I write music, I draw on those feelings a lot.” founded) once I got there. I often troll through Sophrosyne, one of his most popular albums, Bandcamp, sifting through all the releases tagged honed in on this feeling with 26 swirling, beat“Seattle” every month to find new local acts that driven songs that, Erickson hopes, evoke the feeling might slip through the cracks otherwise. For the of rain falling outside his window in June. Hiraeth, past two years, WMD has curiously dominated his newest EP, is directly named after this feeling, a Seattle’s “best-selling” Bandcamp chart, frequently Welsh phrase with no exact translation that roughly slotted between local stars like Chastity Belt, La means “a homesickness for a home you cannot Luz, and SUNN O))) when not sitting pretty at return to, or that never was.” “Kokedara,” a muted, the #1 spot. A quick click reveals an astounding 22 humming track inspired by minimalist composers albums and EPs, the latest of which, the impreslike Philip Glass and Steve Reich, is named after a sionistic Hiraeth, came out last week. Each release is moss-covered temple in Japan Erickson has never appended with legions of rave fan-written reviews. been to, but felt a pained longing for after seeing a picture of it on Tumblr. “Firewood,” a beautiful, So why isn’t WMD as well known as Chastity warbling guitar track, was written to soundtrack Belt, La Luz, or SUNN O)))? Well, most of his the cover of Hiraeth—a fuzzy, distant image of a fans are Russian or hardcore gamers, and Erickson woman in a dress standing on a beach. He produced himself is something of a self-admitted shut in. the song to sound as if it’s whirring out of a stereo “I’m just really antisocial and weird,” Erickson handheld by the unseen observer taking the photo. tells me. “I’ve had that feeling my entire life, just “I think the reason [my music] strikes a chord feeling separate. So a lot of my album covers are with people is everyone has this time they can go just landscapes or far-away people, and I feel like back to that’s a reason to be melancholy,” Erickson that’s how I was for a lot of my life. I just didn’t says. “I’m jerking myself off a little bit, but . . . you like people, especially in my hometown, so I would know.” E spend entire weeks in my room writing music, not seeing anybody.” ksears@seattleweekly.com

COURTESY OF THE ARTIST

FOREVERLAND

TRIBUTE TO NEIL DIAMOND

Weapons of Mass Depression

conversation

Lil Everett

Steven Graham on the small town’s unlikely rise as a music city.

BY JACOB UITTI

W

KRISTA NELSON

Steven Graham (left) with fellow Everett Music Initiative co-founder Ryan Crowther.

Tantrums but it’s not big enough for, say, Death Cab. We’ve had a lot of Disney on Ice, Harlem Globetrotters. It’s been frustrating for someone like me who is a huge music fan. One year Deck the Hall Ball was there, but they didn’t do it again.

But to see these huge artists coming through now, it feels good. I’m a big hip-hop fan, and I’m definitely going to see Lil Wayne. Kanye West was here when I was in high school, and it was packed. He walked out onstage and said, “What’s up, Seattle?!” but it was still an incredible show.

hen I think of Everett music, I immediately think of Steven Graham. A co-founder of the Everett Music Initiative, he and Ryan Crowther put on the annual Fisherman’s VilYou have such a strong, visible loyalty for lage Music Festival in venues all around the Everett. Why? city. So when it was announced a month I grew up here, and I think the town Lil Wayne ago that Lil Wayne, one of the most gets a bad rap. We had mills by the With Omarion. famous rappers in the world, was water with an awful smell, but that’s Xfinity Arena, 2000 slotted to play in Everett on Dec. 18 gone now. There’s all this beauty and Hewitt Ave., #200, Everett, at the Xfinity Arena, I knew I had to potential. My partner, Ryan, said it xfinityarenaeverett.com. check in with him about it, as well as best: “Everett is an empty canvas.” $58–$153. All ages. what he is working on.

We’re at this point where we can 6 p.m. Fri., Dec. 18.

Graham answered my call from make it what we want it to be. There’s his office in downtown Everett—a city a big transition happening with developof just over 100,000 residents—where he ers building new apartments, and there’s a works for the Downtown Everett Association, a great new urban market that’s about to open. We nonprofit that provides services to improve the have the oldest active theater this side of the Rockcity center. In addition, Graham co-hosts 107.7 ies, which is the mainstage for our Fisherman’s The End’s Locals Only, and until recently ran Music Festival. Whenever bands walk in there, Everett music venue The Cannery. they’re like, “Holy hell, this is beautiful.”

You look at Seattle with all its great bands, SW: Lil Wayne coming to Everett: What does more than you can name, and all the great that mean to you? bands that come through Seattle down I-5. We Graham: When I first heard about that, I were, like, “Why not Everett?” The city has an couldn’t believe it. I started laughing. That arena 800-person theater, and the Everett Performing is a strange place, and I’ve complained about it Arts Center that holds 400. We have a history a lot, and the Everett Herald has written articles of great bands like the Moondoggies, Fauna about it—the arena was built at a weird capacity Shade—in fact, last year Seattle Weekly had a [10,000]. It’s too big for bands like Fitz and the

You also co-host Locals Only—how did that happen?

The station saw a need to expand the show. It had been buried for a while, but now they’ve since given it a better time slot and a longer format. We’ve had bands come in like Richie Rekow, aka Mr. Night Sky, who was in Rose Windows. We’ve also had Lonely Mountain Lovers and Kevin Murphy from the Moondoggies. Marco Collins [former 107.7 The End DJ] came in, too. I first met him when I was 19. I was working for an insurance company and I got his claim for a car accident. I begged him to let me hang out with him, and he let me help with some projects he was working on. It showed me that if you’re in the right place at the right time, you can get a peek into how this business works.

What’s your mission for the next few years?

When Ryan and I put this whole thing together, we talked about three things: We wanted to make Everett a viable place for touring musicians to play and expand their fan base; we wanted to create nightlife downtown in Everett so we didn’t always have to leave for Seattle or some other place; and we wanted to find local artists and help them any way we can to play in Seattle and get out regionally. E

music@seattleweekly.com

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

PARAMOUNT THEATRE

brand-new Best Of award, Best Band From Everett, which was Fauna Shade. It was a sign for us that something good is happening here.

The Everett Music Initiative is something Ryan and I came up with about four years ago. I’ve been here my whole life—in high school I’d take my mom’s Jeep and go to all-ages shows in Seattle.

The only shows you could go to in Everett were dirt-bag punk-rock shows in someone’s house.

17

comix in the city

3 GOLDEN GLOBE AWARD NOMINATIONS INCLUDING

* (DRAMA)

®

BEST ACTOR* EDDIE REDMAYNE • BEST ACTRESS* ALICIA VIKANDER

#TheDanishGirl MOTION PICTURE: © 2015 UNIVERSAL STUDIOS. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ARTWORK: © 2015 FOCUS FEATURES LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENTS START

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 18

BELLEVUE Cinemark SEATTLE Lincoln Square Cinemas SIFF Egyptian Theatre (425) 450-9100 (206) 324-9996

Seattle Weekly

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

#3

18

WEDNESDAY 12/16 2 COL. (4.83”) X 5” ALL.DNG.1216.SW

TM

CHECK DIRECTORIES FOR SHOWTIMES NO PASSES ACCEPTED

reviews

FILM

Opening Friday The Danish Girl Transition in Amber

J.J. Abrams revives the Star Wars franchise by respecting its core values.

BY BRIAN MILLER

T

he new Star Wars movie runs two and one-quarter hours, and having just driven downtown from the Northgate preview screening, I’ve got about the same amount of time to write something before this paper goes to press. Also, Disney also hasn’t provided press notes. (Because why would I want to spell character names or distant galaxies correctly?) Thus a long, thoughtful essay-style review of J.J. Abrams’ globally anticipated new Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens

is impossible (at least for this slothful, smallbrained critic). Instead, here are five quick impressions (guaranteed spoiler-free!), in nearrandom order.

Self Doubt > Swagger

The Galaxy Is a Glorious Babel

Respect the Source Texts

Down on desert Dokku, orphaned scavenger From the John Williams fanfare and 1970s Rey (Daisey Ridley) displays complete mastery fonts in the opening text crawl, Abrams is clearly of languages, conversing easily with various going back to the first three movies for inspiralizard-y merchants and droids alike. (The rolltion. Many old characters and robots are glimpsed ing BB-8, which belongs to Poe, follows her in the background here. (Rey even camps in a eagerly, tilting its hemispheric floating head rusty toppled AT-AT, part of a vast military like a dog.) The good guys here—rebels graveyard of fallen ships that will later be still rebelling—are a polyglot band used as an airborne obstacle course.) of humans and fish-eyed, nozzleI’m pretty sure General Ackbar is Opens Fri., Dec. 18 nosed heroes. Diversity is part back, plus others I can’t name, but at Cinerama, Sundance, of their democratic appeal, and it’s no secret that Abrams has Meridian, Ark Lodge, Abrams even one-ups the famous Majestic Bay, and others. returned Hamill, Carrie Fisher, and cantina scene with an even bigHarrison Ford to the fold. In addiRated PG-13. 136 min. ger gallery of fanciful creatures at tion to pushing the franchise forthe forested refuge of Maz Kanata ward with new faces (and dispatching (voiced by Lupita Nyong’o, rendered one elder), he respects the nostalgia via CGI like a shriveled orange with enorthat viewers will bring to this nearly fourmous goggles). decade-old series. Again, unlike the middle Lucas Meanwhile the new fascist villains, dubbed sequence of I–III, it feels as though Abrams is The First Order, insist on uniformity. They borrowing more—and to better effect—from the even stage a rally on their snowy base planet original three (1979–83, aka the good ones). that Abrams has clearly modeled on Leni Ford is here the dominant returnee to the Star Riefenstahl’s Triumph of the Will. These badWars canon; his Han seems happier, mellower, dies (including Domhnall Gleeson) speak only and more comfortable being the agent of conproper British, with the exception of rogue Jedi tinuity. If not quite Obi-Wan, he’s the cool dad Kylo Ren (Adam Driver), who’s got some seriwho gives you the keys to the spaceship. ous anger-management issues. While he claims to despise whatever good remains in him, it’s Re. CG, It’s a Trap! more like he’s off his meds.

The new leap into hyperspace is more of a wormhole effect, and several planets are blown up in a most satisfying manner. Still, the better Female Agency Is the New Force combat scenes are played closer to the forests, Well, Rey actually has the force, as she dislakes, and sand dunes familiar from our own covers during the film, and the action repertoire world. When the Millennium Falcon—initially for this heroine is far beyond that of Princess dismissed as “garbage”—crashes through snowy Leia. Fighting, shooting, swinging a light saber, treetops to make a clumsy landing; or when its needing no one to rescue her (much less hold engine stalls and skips like an old Chevy, that her hand), Rey would be quite at home in a correspondence to our own experience sells Mad Max movie—which the resource-starved the effect. Up in space, the whizzing and whirDokku very much suggests. (If Lucas wasted ring of starfighters against a black backdrop too much time on imperial politics and hishasn’t got the same gravity—it seems more of a tory in parts I–III, I wouldn’t have minded just coder’s trick. (And Chewbacca is funny because a tiny bit of backstory for Abrams’ wonderful he’s still a big guy in a gorilla suit; we know planetary locales.) Not only casting diversity what that fur feels like.) but an expunging of Hollywood sexism is very The bigger the starship, however, the betmuch on his agenda. ter the effect—as when a giant battle cruiser Rey is never passive or prim, but neither is eclipses a planet. This is another lesson Ridley terribly funny. Like Mark Hamill before, Abrams has learned well from the original she seems to have been cast as the Serious three Star Wars movies, to which The Force One—heavy lies the crown, etc.—while Boyega Awakens is a worthy successor. E gets to be more the Han Solo-style jester. On which subject . . . bmiller@seattleweekly.com

Sisters Late Adolescence

Sisters may not be much of a movie, but it is a party. In fact, more than half the film takes place during a wild, unhinged blowout. The hosts of this party-pretending-to-be-a-movie are Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, Saturday Night Live veterans and occasional awards-show emcees. Screenwriter Paula Pell’s sitcom premise—Fey and Poehler play sisters coming together to spend one last weekend in the childhood home their parents have just sold—allows the duo to vamp their way through a series of increasingly chaotic and eminently R-rated situations.

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

If Oscar Isaacs’ pilot Poe Dameron gets to blow more things up, swooping acrobatically over lakes and enemy starships, all that whooping and hollering can’t disguise the fact that he’s crammed into an X-wing cockpit for most of the movie, acting against a green screen. Also, the guy may be a little too confident for his own good, too gung-ho for a series in which director Abrams has reintroduced humor—his signal achievement, really—and human frailty.

On the latter score, it’s John Boyega’s very human “Finn”—a turncoat stormtrooper who doesn’t know his birth name—who’s the most appealing among the three main new cast members. He’s introduced in a violent raid on the desert planet of Jakku. Dressed in one of those identical white uniforms, FN-2187 pauses sympathetically to check on a fallen comrade—a surprise, since we’ve been accustomed to viewing these guys like Nazis. Is the dying warrior his best friend? We’ll never know. Suddenly his hand reaches up to touch Finn’s helmet, leaving streaks of blood. We’re shocked, and so is Finn. It’s a typically concrete and effective image for Abrams, one that both radicalizes and humanizes Finn.

For the rest of the movie, he’s faking his courage, accepting whatever role is thrust on him.

Pretending to escort Poe to the baddies’ prison, he keeps muttering, “You can do this. You can do this.” We’re confused, like Poe, until Finn explains he’s talking to himself. Again: This is the sort of humor that was missing from George Lucas’ middle three Star Wars movies (I–III), which chronologically precede the famous first three (IV–VI).

TIE fighters over Takodana.

ALLSTAR/DISNEY/LUCASFILM

A Lack of the Clones

There is a longstanding correlation between an actor’s likelihood of winning an Academy Award and the amount of effort visible on screen. That’s why Leonardo DiCaprio is the odds-on favorite this year for The Revenant— the poor guy works so hard he looks as though he’s actually breaking bones for the cause.

Eddie Redmayne, who won last year for his The Theory of Everything role as Stephen Hawking, is not taking this challenge lying down. Here he plays Einar Wegener, a Danish painter who underwent sex-reassignment surgery to become a woman, newly christened Lili Elbe. This true story happened in the early years of the 20th century, which makes it prime fodder for the period-decoration approach of director Tom Hooper (The King’s Speech).

The film introduces us to Einar and wife Gerda (Alicia Vikander) at a time when his success as an artist outstrips hers—Gerda can’t get taken seriously by the sexist art establishment. When she asks her husband to fill in for a tardy model in a very feminine pose, we see Einar thrilling to the touch of silk stockings, and it isn’t long before Einar’s dolled-up “sister,” Lili, begins appearing in public on Gerda’s arm.

The early reels catch some of the uncertainty and riskiness of people figuring out who they are—Gerda as much as Einar/Lili—before an experimental doctor (Sebastian Koch, from The Lives of Others) is consulted, and the film takes a turn toward the fatally noble.

In part The Danish Girl grinds down because we spend less time with Gerda, who is at least as interesting as her tormented spouse.

And the eerily composed Vikander—recently seen in The Man from U.N.C.L.E. and as the android in Ex Machina—gives a very modern, thoughtful performance. Redmayne’s sober acting style actually looks a little antique next to hers. The spark she provides grows faint as Hooper slows things down so we can appreciate the injustice to Lili and the tragedy of being in the wrong body at the wrong time.

This enervated approach brings to the fore the worst aspects of the prestige arthouse picture: tasteful design, serious subject, selfcongratulating mood. The Theory of Everything remembered to make the audience feel good— a manipulative ploy, yes, but at least one with some oomph to it. The Danish Girl is content to quietly admire its own importance, and assume you will, too. (SIFF Cinema Egyptian.

Rated R. 120 min.) ROBERT HORTON

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 20 19

©HFPA

IMAGE COURTESY K.C. BAILEY/UNIVERSAL

Party planners Poehler (left) and Fey.

“‘YOUTH’ IS SUPERIOR CINEMA,

ARDENT AND ARTFUL, HYPNOTIC AND HAUNTING.” Peter Travers, YOUTHTHEMOVIE.COM

STARTS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 18

SEATTLE Landmark’s Guild SEATTLE Regal Meridian 16 45th Theatre (206) 547-2127 (844) 462-7342 #808

Seattle Weekly

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

#6

20

WEDNESDAY 12/16 2 COL. (4.83”) X 5” ALL.YTH.1216.SW

TM

» FROM PAGE 19 Fey plays Kate, the wayward sister, and Poehler is Maura, the responsible one; reunited, they decide to invite their old high-school class over for a last waltz. Things escalate, drugs are ingested, and genital jokes abound. (It’s as though Fey and Poehler bottled up their raunchiest impulses during years of network success on 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation and just decided here to go full potty-mouth.)

For the record, as female-driven comedies about recapturing teenage mojo go, Sisters falls short of the Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion gold standard. So if you’re a fan of these splendid actresses, this movie can’t help but disappoint. However, the ramshackle structure allows individual moments to pop, especially with a cast full of veteran improvisers.

SNL rep members Maya Rudolph, Rachel Dratch, and Bobby Moynihan all answer the bell; Mindy Project regular Ike Barinholtz provides a predictably hunky-yet-ironical love interest for straight-laced Maura; and John Leguizamo adds an expert note of sleaze. Even Dianne Wiest and James Brolin, as the sisters’ parents, get into the mugging.

Pitch Perfect director Jason Moore allows Fey and Poehler to stretch the rhythm of the film’s best scenes, so that the two improvise ideas or bend inflections to suit their style. At times they seem to be trying solely to amuse each other, which is not only a perfectly acceptable way to create giddiness but a handy shortcut to conveying sibling energy—these moments are a peek inside a simpatico relationship. It feels as though we’re watching the outtakes reel during the actual film instead of the end credits. (This is a compliment—those bloopers are usually funnier than the films they follow.) At this point Fey and Poehler have perfected that kind of in-sync comic timing.

If they can apply that to movies that are actually good, they may yet make some classics. (Sundance, Majestic Bay, Ark Lodge, Admiral, Pacific Place, others. Rated R. 120 min.) ROBERT HORTON

Youth Old Artists Slowly Fade Away

One of the great pleasures of The Great Beauty, Paolo Sorrentino’s last film, was the way the portrait of an aging, regretful Roman society journalist became a more sprawling and satirical

portrait of Italy-in-decline. It was full of gorgeous and surprising images that served as a rebuke to all its hero’s (and Italy’s) craven frivolity. Set in a posh Swiss spa/hotel, Youth has a lot in common with its 2013 predecessor. Here we have two old artists, Fred (Michael Caine) and Mick (Harvey Keitel), best friends who use their annual visit to catch up and cast back in memory. Both are 80ish, with many ex-wives and old loves behind them.

Filmmaker Mick trails a crew of screenwriters, all trying to devise his next project (a dreadfulsounding final cinematic “testament”); while composer/conductor Fred has only his daughter Lena (Rachel Weisz), who manages his affairs—despite his grumpy preference to stay retired.

The early spa scenes are promising, a comic mix of Fellini and Tati. Rich sybarites of every nationality are poked and prodded by an attentive staff (most of them miserable); cosseted in terry-cloth robes, they’re herded through steam baths and dubious medical treatments. Sagging flesh is on abundant display, so naturally Mick and Fred perk up when they hear the succulent new Miss Universe will pay a visit. Sex may be only a memory for these old roués, but it’s one they discuss constantly.

(Lena will soon be gobsmacked by romantic complications of a different kind.) The spa guests are treated to regular concerts, which Sorrentino stages with typical gusto: He loves the gaudy showbiz that Fred disdains and Mick clings to. Taking a more aloof perspective is a conniving movie star (Paul Dano), who claims to be researching his next role while favoring Fred with supplicant ears.

Though the hotel is full of potentially interesting characters (one who performs magical footwork with a tennis ball), they never go anywhere. Despite a few hikes and walks in alpine scenery, Youth becomes claustrophobic—insular in its theme of Artist contemplating Art. Fred is constantly addressed as “maestro,” and Mick speaks reverentially of his muse ( Jane Fonda, showing up late and to little effect). In The Great Beauty, our hero was jolted out of his narrow, shallow concerns, forced to consider his fleeting insignificance. The trite, disappointing Youth, like its two heroes, never steps outside the spa’s nostalgic comforts. Even its final concert scene, presented as a triumph, feels like a retreat into familiar flattery and self-regard. (Guild 45th.

Rated PG-13. 118 min.) BRIAN MILLER E

film@seattleweekly.com

calendar

PICKLIST

swilling Ferrell then goes to big, bad NYC, meets Zooey Deschanel, and hilarity often ensues. So frantic, off-the-cuff, and self-aware in his ad-libs, Ferrell owns the movie the way Santa owns Christmas. (Through Tues.)

DECEMBER 16

Wednesday Pleather

This new duo is the sonic embodiment of the cultural push-pull this city is undergoing. As Capitol Hill culture warriors take up arms over the influx of perceived gentrifying tech workers, Pleather emerges as a mutant hybrid of these two seemingly opposed sides—a band formed by two DIY punk holdouts diving headfirst into the world of electronics, heartily embracing the unknown territory. Andrew McKibben, head of Seattle’s Couple Skate records, and Claire Nelson, former bassist for local shoegaze group FF, got their hands on an ancient sampler and started experimenting with it—fusing “chunks of Web 2.0 audio detritus from YouTube” with the guitar-based, rock-inspired songwriting they were both more familiar with. In an effort to toss out the “personal negativity and retro-obsessed creative culture of their rock scene,” the two decided to pursue this unusual fusion approach to songwriting, and the result sounds as messy and complex as the context it arises from. “Wish U Well,” the single from the cassette the group will release tonight, is a sentimental breakup song that features breathy singing, pretty acoustic melodies, a driving, distorted alt-rock chorus, chintzy drum-machine loops, and lots of bizarre samples of tea kettles steaming, the ocean, and kittens mewing at each other. With USF, Lilac. Chop Suey,

Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave., 686-6684, central-cinema.com. $7–$9. 1:30, 4, 7, & 9:30 p.m. ANDREW BONAZELLI

Children’s Storytime

At Christmastime growing up, as Mom unpacked our holiday decorations, there was also a wicker basket containing all the wonder a kid would need. Stacked to the brim with books, from The Jolly Christmas Postman to Silent Night, this trove made for perfect reading next to a cozy fire, as we children anticipated the yearly arrival of Santa Claus. One book in particular always held my attention—The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg, to be read aloud this morning (along with The Night Before Christmas, a holiday sing-along, and treats). And seeing that cover with the train in the snowy night still evokes childhood nostalgia. Inside, though, is a world of imagination, as a young Christmas-doubter is whisked off on a magical adventure to the North Pole. Celebrating its 30th year in print, The Polar Express is simply about believing in the magic and love of Christmas, which never gets old. Elliott Bay Book Co., 1521 10th Ave., 624-6600, elliottbaybook.com.

Free. 11 a.m. SCOTT JOHNSON

Elf

KELTON SEARS

Lowe will deliver a new set of Christmas standards at the Neptune.

SAM Lights

Western Ave., 654-3100, seattleartmuseum.org.

Free. 6–9 p.m. SCOTT JOHNSON

DECEMBER 18

Friday

Nick Lowe

For a certain class of troubadour, so many Christmases behind them, December brings a dread of carols and novelty songs. Happier, then,

tinge to traditional piety. Previously recorded, “A Dollar Short of Happy” has the pungent clarity of a Tin Pan Alley tune written during the Great Depression; there’s a comic despair in the perspective of a beggar seeing the oncehigh-and-mighty brought down to his level.

You can imagine the song title scrawled on the sodden cardboard sign held by some poor soul at a traffic light. And now is the season, as Lowe reminds us, to roll down your window and give. Cactus Blossoms open. The Neptune,

1303 N.E. 45th St., 877-784-4849, stgpresents. org. $28. 8 p.m. BRIAN MILLER

DECEMBER 19

In the surprise 2003 Yuletide hit, directed by Jon Favreau, Will Ferrell embraces the cutesy confection of its plot. As Santa Claus doles out presents at an orphanage, a wee human crawls into his sack of toys, winds up at the North Pole, and is subsequently raised as an elf. Eight zillion sight gags constitute the first act, in which a giant-sized Ferrell bangs his head into low ceilings, squats on miniature crappers, and botches even the most remedial toy-making duties. Ferrell finally discovers he’s the bastard son of James Caan, now a distant, terse Manhattan publishing-house exec. Innocent, syrup-

Ave. N.W., pushpullseattle.com. Free. 8 p.m.

Unsilent Night

Caroling with a twist: Download a preselected app or electronic track (from ontheboards.org), play it on your sonic device of choice, and join the 45-minute procession “as we become a roving surround-sound stereo system” spreading dreamy ambient music throughout LQA. Devised, and the music tracks created, by Greenwich Village musician Phil Kline in 1992, it’s an experience now organized in cities around the world. It’ll start and end at On the Boards, 100 W. Roy St., 217-9888. Free. 5 p.m. GAVIN BORCHERT E

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

Saturday

Thursday is the occasion to hear a surpassing pop artist like Lowe, never quite famous but regularly visiting the charts (as performer, songwriter, and producer since the ’70s), who’s touring behind his new live album, The Quality Holiday Revue (Live), with a band dubbed Los Straightjackets. It’s a typically consistent collection from a remarkably consistent artist; his taste is embedded in the three-minute-single past of jukeboxes and Chuck Berry, but he has excellent taste. The reliable old chords and tempos are comfortable and danceable as he reworks old hits like “Raging Eyes.” But holiday anthems will be the focus tonight. “The North Pole Express” is like a cheerful strum-along children’s novelty song, Santa meets Scotty Moore. Ringing with tremolo, “Christmas at the Airport” sounds like it could’ve been recorded at Sun Records. A traveler’s tale of being stranded in transit—surely familiar to any touring musician—is rendered with wry resignation. (The tune is surely bound for some movie soundtrack soon, perhaps the inevitable remake of Trains, Planes & Automobiles.)

All the tunes here are full of warmth, goodwill, and holiday cheer, but “I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day” feels as comfy as slippers worn to breakfast, past noon, and through dinner; Lowe clearly feels no need to reinvent the holidays. Traces of the hymnal can be heard in “Children Go Where I Send Thee” and “I Was Born in Bethlehem,” which puts a blue-note

Björn

Like Felix the Cat creator Pat Sullivan, local comic artist (and occasional Seattle Weekly contributor) Björn is a master of cartoon physics.

While a lot of underground artists rely on the juxtaposition of adult themes and language with the stereotypically “just for kids!” comics medium to get laughs, Björn’s highly stylized work employs a kind of immediate, surreal visual humor that transcends age and language.

In his newest comic, Swampson 2, debuting tonight at the recently relocated comics gallery Push/Pull, the story’s oddly shaped heroes Lubis and Gus reluctantly venture into the demonic shed in their backyard to return a pile of rakes they left on their lawn as a practical joke. Over the course of the gloriously bizarre adventure, the two turn into limp wiggly noodles when frightened, their fists morph into giant vein-bulging lumps when angry, and their necks inexplicably begin extending and spindling around one another during conversation.

Refreshingly, the worlds Björn creates in his work get to the heart of why cartoons are so fun in the first place—the rules of reality don’t apply.

With DJ Baby Sam. Push/Pull, 5484 Shilshole

DECEMBER 17

Every December when I was a child, my family would load into our car, blast Yuletide carols, reminisce about holidays past, and drive past the rich houses in Medina and Bellevue to see all those immaculate, over-the-top Chrismas lights.

In downtown Seattle, where people live in condos and apartments, the nearest equivalent is the annual SAM Lights event. The evening offers art (including a special installation by Andy Behrle), music from Lemolo and Chaotic Noise Marching Corps, food trucks (including 314Pie and Hot Revolution Donuts), and family activities. Inside the PACCAR Pavilion, Romson Regarde Bustillo will teach you how to make illuminated silhouettes and Sandra Farmer will show necklaces inspired

by Nick Cave’s fabric sculptures (seen recently at SAM), with a children’s play station nearby. You can also add your contribution to a work by Light Table Design Collective that draws inspiration from bioluminescent creatures of the deep sea.

And if you come wearing your own light-inspired outfits, you might just become a part of the experience yourself. Olympic Sculpture Park, 2901

PHOTO COURTESY YEP ROC RECORDS

1325 E. Madison St., 538-0556, chopsuey.com. $5 (21 and over). 8 p.m. KELTON SEARS

21

calendar Openings & Events

AS YOU LIKE IT A stripped-down,

five-actor version of Shakespeare’s comedy. ACT, 700 Union St., acttheatre. org. $10. 8 p.m. Thurs., Dec. 17–Sat., Dec. 19, 2 p.m. Sun., Dec. 20.

BRUTALESQUE HOLIDAY ONSLAUGHT Burlesque set to metal

renditions of classic Christmas tunes.

JewelBox Theater at the Rendezvous, 2322 Second Ave., brownpapertickets. com. $15–$18. 7 p.m. Sat., Dec. 19.

CHRISTMAS: B-SIDES & RARITIES 14/48’s music/storytelling

revue. West of Lenin, 203 N. 36th St., brownpapertickets.com. $15–$18. 7:30 p.m. Mon., Dec. 21.

FAMILY AFFAIR Jennifer Jasper’s cabaret on the theme of family.

JewelBox Theater at the Rendezvous, 2322 Second Ave., jenniferjasperperforms.com. $10. 7:30 p.m. Wed., Dec. 16.

GOLDEN, A CABARET With songs from Cole Porter to Katy Perry.

Raisbeck Performance Hall, 2015 Boren Ave., cornish.edu. Free. 8 p.m. Wed., Dec. 16–Fri., Dec. 18.

MORBID CURIOSITEASE Danny Elfman’s music for A Nightmare Before Christmas soundtracks this burlesque revue. Columbia City Theater, 4916 Rainier Ave. S., columbiacitytheater. com. $16. 8 p.m. Sat., Dec. 19.

THE SANTALAND DIARIES David Sedaris’ comic tales of seasonal employment adapted into a solo show.

Theatre Puget Sound, Seattle Center Armory, brownpapertickets.com. $18–$20. 7:30 p.m. Fri., Dec. 18.

TAPROOT CHRISTMAS TALES

The theater is bringing two one-acts, Hark the Harold and It’s A Wonderful Improvised Life, down to Auburn Avenue Theater, 10 Auburn Ave., Auburn, brownpapertickets.com. $15–$17. 7:30 p.m. Fri., Dec. 18.

Current Runs

AFTER HOURS ArtsWest’s intimate

cabaret evenings return. ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave. S.W., artswest.org. $30–$80. 7:30 p.m. Tues., Dec. 22.

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

A(N IMPROVISED) CHRISTMAS CAROL Unexpected Productions

22

wants your help with the rewrite.

Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, unexpectedproductions.org. $5–$15. 8:30 p.m. Thurs.–Sat. plus Dec. 21 & 22; 7 p.m. Sun. Ends Dec. 26.

ANTIQUES IMPROV SHOW Bring your favorite old curio; they’ll weave a tale about it. Jet City Improv, 5510 University Way N.E., jetcityimprov. org. $12–$18. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Fri. Ends Dec. 18.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER Those Herdman kids are ruin-

ing our holiday play! Seattle Public Theater, 7312 W. Green Lake Dr. N., seattlepublictheater.org. $17–$34.

Runs 2 & 4 p.m. Sat.–Sun. and Dec. 22–24. Ends Dec. 24.

A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS

A stage adaptation of the animated TV special, 50 years old this season.

Taproot Theatre Company’s Isaac Studio Theatre, 212 N. 85th St. $25.

Runs Fri.–Sat. plus Dec. 22 & 23; see taproottheatre.org for exact schedule.

Ends Dec. 26.

CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG

Caractacus Potts and his flying car are back. Seattle Children’s Theatre, Seattle Center, sct.org. $25 and up. 7 p.m. Thurs.–Fri., 2 & 5:30 p.m. Sat., 11 a.m. & 2:30 p.m. Sun. Ends Dec. 27.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL Keep your parodies and improv shows; ACT dishes the Dickens straight up. Kurt Beattie and Charles Leggett tag-team as Scrooge. ACT, 700 Union St. $27–$37 and up. Runs Tues.–Sun. plus Mon., Dec. 28; see acttheatre.org for exact schedule. Ends Dec. 30.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL/A CHRISTMAS CAROL JR.

SecondStory’s two versions: one traditional, the jr. show acted out by Mrs. Claus and her kittens. SecondStory Repertory, 16587 N.E. 74th St., Redmond, secondstoryrep.org. Carol: 8 p.m. Thurs.–Sat. plus Dec. 21–23. Ends Dec. 23. $27. Jr.: 1 & 3 p.m. Sat.–Sun. Ends Dec. 20. $10.

A CHRISTMAS TWIST Skewering two Dickens hits for the price of one.

Burien Actors Theatre, 14501 Fourth Ave. S.W., Burien, burienactorstheatre. org. $7–$20. 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. Ends Dec. 20.

CHRISTMASTOWN: A HOLIDAY NOIR Wayne Rawley’s hard-boiled

detective story. Seattle Public Theater, 7312 W. Green Lake Dr. N. $17–$34.

Runs Thurs.–Sun. plus Dec. 22 & 23; see seattlepublictheater.org for exact schedule. Ends Dec. 24.

■ COME FROM AWAY The true basis for this unlikely 9/11 musical

by Irene Sankoff and David Hein is how 38 flights—carrying over 6,000 “come-from-aways”—were diverted to Gander, Newfoundland. There the befuddled locals embraced travelers from around the world. It’s a show that entreats you to believe in the goodness of people—and this jaded theatergoer says it succeeds abundantly on both counts. ALYSSA DYKSTERHOUSE Seattle Repertory Theatre, Seattle Center. $17 and up. Runs Tues.–Sun.; see seattlerep.org for exact schedule.

Extended through Dec. 20.

DINA MARTINA CHRISTMAS SHOW 2015 An all-new show of

warmth and wonder from the incomparable, indefatigable, indescribable entertaineress. Re-bar, 1114 Howell St. $22–$25. Runs Fri.–Sat., then nearly every day starting Dec. 10; see brown papertickets.com for exact schedule.

Ends Dec. 31.

THE ELVES & THE TOYMAKER For ages 3 and up. $15. Runs Sat.–Sun. in various venues; see storybooktheater. org for exact schedule. Ends Dec. 20.

■ EMMA Book-It is reviving its 2009 adaptation (by Rachel Atkins, directed

by Carol Roscoe) for the bicentennial of Emma’s publication. Book-It Repertory Theatre, Center House Theater (Seattle Center), 216-0833. $25–$50. Runs Wed.–Sun., see book-it.org for exact schedule. Ends Jan. 3.

FOR CHRISTMAS Jesus and Santa battle—well, bicker—for holiday supremacy in Nick Edwards’ comedy.

West of Lenin, 203 N. 36th St., brown papertickets.com. $15–$50. 11 p.m. Fri.– Sat., 7:30 p.m. Sun. Ends Dec. 20.

■ HAM FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Holiday theater doesn’t get any campier than Lisa Koch and Peggy Platt’s annual comedy revue. And yes, the Sequim Gay Men’s Chorus will return, four voices strong. ACT Theatre, 700 Union St., 292-7676. $20 and up.

Runs Wed.–Sun.; see acttheatre.org for exact schedule. Ends Dec. 20.

HANSEL & GRETEL AND THREE BEARS The Fremont Players’ annual

British panto: a fairy tale with lots of music, audience participation, and a dash of camp. Hale’s Palladium, 4301 Leary Way N.W., brownpapertickets. com. $7–$13. 4 & 7:30 p.m. Sat., 1 & 4 p.m. Sun. Ends Jan. 10.

HOLIDAY OF ERRORS Frank Lawler and Daniel Flint’s Elizabethan spoof.

12th Ave. Arts, 1620 12th Ave. $15–$25.

Runs 8 p.m. Thurs.–Sat., plus Dec. 14 & 16, plus 2 p.m. weekend matinees; see soundtheatrecompany.org for exact schedule. Ends Dec. 20.

HOMO FOR THE HOLIDAYS Don your gayest apparel for this queer burlesque revue, starring BenDeLaCreme, Kitten LaRue, Lou Henry Hoover. Waxie Moon, and many others. West Hall, OddFellows Building, 915 E. Pine St.

ADAM SMITH

THEATER

Sylvie Davidson as the meddling heroine in Emma, continuing at Book-It. $25–$37. 8 p.m. Wed.–Thurs., 7 & 10 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 5 & 8 p.m. Sun., plus 8 p.m. Dec. 21 & 22. Ends Dec. 27.

LAND OF SWEETS: THE BURLESQUE NUTCRACKER Lily

Verlaine and Jasper McCann’s decidedly adult version is full of salacious fun in the best tradition, with showgirl snowflakes, a King of the Rats with tearaway pants, and Verlaine herself as the Countess of Coffee, stripping in a steamy cup. SANDRA KURTZ The Triple Door, 216 Union St., VerlaineandMcCann.com. $35–$65.

Runs daily, generally at 7 & 10 p.m.; see thetripledoor.net for exact schedule. Ends Dec. 27.

THE LION IN WINTER James Goldman’s stage life of Henry II and Eleanor of Aquitaine. Ballard Underground, 2220 N.W. Market St., the1448projects.org. $15–$20. 8 p.m.

Fri.–Sat. plus Thurs., Dec. 17 & 2 p.m.

Sat., Dec. 19. Ends Dec. 19.

MARY POPPINS A stage version of the film musical. Bainbridge Performing Arts, 200 Madison Ave. N., Bainbridge Island, bainbridgeperformingarts.org. $19–$27. 7:30 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 3 p.m. Sun. Ends Dec. 20.

■ MY FAIR LADY The hit-filled 1956 Lerner and Loewe musical is directed

by Brian Yorkey. Village Theatre, 303 Front St. N., Issaquah. $38–$70. Runs Tues.–Sun.; see villagetheatre.org for exact schedule. Ends Jan. 3. (Runs in Everett Jan. 8–Feb. 7.)

RUTH AND THE SEA Pacific Play Company presents Morgan Ludlow’s dramedy about a woman crossing the country to celebrate her last Christmas.

Annex Theatre, 1100 E. Pike St., pacificplaycompany.com. $12–$20.

8 p.m. Dec. 17 & 19.

■ SAUCED The 1937 setting is the Diamond Club for this show written by Terry Podgorski, with songs

by Annastasia Workman. Nordo’s Culinarium, 109 S. Main St., cafenordo. com. $65–$99. 7:30 p.m. Thurs. & Sun., 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat. Ends Dec. 20.

SHE LOVES ME In this musical romcom, two people who clash in person fall in love via correspondence. Seattle Musical Theatre, 7120 62nd Ave. N.E., Building 47, seattlemusicaltheatre.org. $20–$35. 7:30 p.m. Fri.–Sat. plus Thurs., Dec. 17; 2 p.m. Sat.–Sun. Ends Dec. 20.

SNOWGLOBED Five holiday-themed plays. West of Lenin, 203 N. 36th St., playinginprogress.com. $10–$30. 8 p.m.

Thurs.–Sat. Ends Dec. 19.

■ THE SOUND OF MUSIC It’s partially a credit to the original Richard Rodgers score itself, as well as to this locally cast production, that the 60-year-old musical manages to keep the audience rapt through 38 songs.

NICOLE SPRINKLE 5th Avenue Theatre, 1308 Fifth Ave. $29 and up. Previews through Dec. 2, opens Dec. 3. Runs practically every day; see 5thavenue. org for exact schedule. Ends Jan. 3.

TALL TALES OF THE UNNATURAL FRONTIER Stage shorts described as

“cowboy noir.” Annex Theatre, 1100 E. Pike St., pacificplaycompany.com. $12–$20. 8 p.m. Fri., Dec. 18.

■ TEATRO ZINZANNI: HOLLYWOOD NIGHTS The company

channels silver-screen glamour as Ron Campbell plays movie director Cecil B. DeGrille, who inspires dreams of stardom among the performers. Teatro ZinZanni, 222 Mercer St., 802-0015. $99 and up. Runs Thurs.–Sun. plus some Wed.; see zinzanni.com/seattle for exact schedule. Ends Jan. 31.

THIS CHRISTMAS The holiday threatens to careen out of control (but probably won’t) in Anne Kennedy Brady’s play. Taproot Theatre, 204 N. 85th St. $20–$40. Runs generally Tues.– Sat.; see taproottheatre.org for exact schedule. Ends Dec. 26.

THE TWILIGHT ZONE: LIVE Three more tales from the iconic TV series.

Theater Schmeater, 2125 Third Ave., schmeater.org. $22–$29. 8 p.m. Thurs.– Sat. Ends Dec. 19.

UNCLE MIKE RUINS CHRISTMAS

Jet City asks for your holiday memories, then destroys them forever. Jet City Improv, 5510 University Way N.E., jetcityimprov.org. $12–$15. 10:30 p.m.

Fri.–Sat. Ends Dec. 19.

WINTERFEST All kinds of music, dance, circus, and more through Dec. 31. Seattle Center, seattlecenter.com.

■ WONDERFUL LIFE This Capra abridgement is a one-man show; Andrew Lee Creech takes on all the roles in Bedford Falls. BRIAN MILLER ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave. S.W., artswest.org. $17–$37.50. 7:30 p.m.

Wed.–Sat., 3 p.m. Sun. Ends Dec. 27.

DANCE

■ PACIFIC NORTHWEST BALLET:

NUTCRACKER George Balanchine’s

1954 choreography is merged with new set and costume designs by Ian Falconer (of Olivia the Pig fame).

This Nutcracker reflects the classical heritage that defines ballet for many people, alongside a more conventional telling of the story. It’s all very Currier and Ives, more sweet than tart.

SANDRA KURTZ McCaw Hall, Seattle Center. $25–$156. Runs a lot; see pnb. org for exact schedule. Ends Dec. 28.

INTERNATIONAL BALLET THEATRE: NUTCRACKER

Meydenbauer Center, 11100 N.E. Sixth St., Bellevue ($25–$50). 7:30 p.m.

Fri.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sat.–Sun., plus 2 p.m. Dec. 21–23. Ends Dec. 23. intballetacademy.org.

THE BUTTCRACKER A hair-metal take on—guess which ballet? Seattle Central College, Erickson Theater, 1524 Harvard Ave., strangertickets.com. $20–$25. 7:30 p.m. Fri., Dec. 18–Sun., Dec. 20 plus 10 p.m. Sat., Dec. 19.

CLASSICAL, ETC.

■ THE MET: LIVE IN HD Julie

Taymor’s ravishing production of Mozart’s The Magic Flute. metopera. org. See fathomevents.com for participating theaters. 6:30 p.m. Wed., Dec. 16.

CHRISTMAS VESPERS recreates a North German baroque service.

At Bastyr University Chapel, 14500 Juanita Dr. N.E., Kenmore, 7:30 p.m. Wed., Dec. 16, and St. James Cathedral, 804 Ninth Ave., 8 p.m. Fri., Dec. 18. $20–$39. earlymusicguild.org.

MEDIEVAL WOMEN’S CHOIR

“Natus est Rex!” includes hymns and dances. St. James Cathedral, 804 Ninth Ave., 8 p.m. Sat., Dec. 19, with a free preview at the Seattle Public Library, 1000 Fourth Ave., 1 p.m. Thurs., Dec. 17. $25–$30. medievalwomenschoir.org.

A FESTIVAL OF LESSONS & CAROLS The Northwest Boychoir’s

annual tradition, with five performances in various venues Dec. 18–22. See nwchoirs.org for complete schedule.

SEATTLE SYMPHONY Their Messiah, led by Paul Agnew.

Benaroya Hall, Third Ave. & Union St., seattlesymphony.org. $25 and up. 8

p.m. Fri., Dec. 18, 1 & 8 p.m. Sat., Dec. 19, 2 p.m. Sun., Dec. 20.

SEATTLE PRO MUSICA Choral music from the Baltic countries and Scandinavia. Bastyr University Chapel, 14500 Juanita Dr. N.E., Kenmore, seattlepromusica.org $12–$35. 3 & 7:30 p.m. Sat., Dec. 19.

■ UNSILENT NIGHT SEE THE PICK LIST, PAGE 21.

CITY CANTABILE CHOIR

“Carols of the World.” University Congregational Church, 4515 16th Ave. N.E., brownpapertickets.com. $18. 7:30 p.m. Sat., Dec. 19.

ORCHESTRA SEATTLE/SEATTLE CHAMBER SINGERS Messiah, for

many the organization’s signature piece. First Free Methodist Church, 3200 Third Ave. W., osscs.org. $19– $25. 7:30 p.m. Sat., Dec. 19.

A FESTIVAL OF LESSONS & CAROLS With the organ and choirs

of Our Lady of Fatima Parish, 3301 W. Dravus St., olfatima.org. Donation.

7 p.m. Sun., Dec. 20.

CANDLELIGHT CONCERTS

“Jazzin’ With the Classics” closes the series. University Christian Church, 4731 15th Ave. N.E., candlelightseattle. org. $15–$20. 7 p.m. Sun., Dec. 20.

TRIO PARDALOTE Music for stringtrio-plus by Mozart, Hans Krasa, and others. (If the tradition continues, there’ll be root-beer floats for $1.)

Kenyon Hall, 7904 35th Ave. S.W., kenyonhall.org. $8–$14. 7:30 p.m. Sun., Dec. 20.

SEATTLE MEN’S CHORUS Their annual holiday spectacular. Benaroya Hall, Third Ave. & Union St., seattle menschorus.org. $25–$78. 7:30 p.m.

Sun., Dec. 20, 7:30 p.m. Mon., Dec. 21.

AUTHOR EVENTS

THEO CHOCOLATE Get your copy of their cookbook signed—plus tastings! University Book Store, 4326 University Way N.E., 634-3400, bookstore.washington.edu. 3 p.m. Thurs., Dec. 17.

SARAH GALVIN She’s collected true stories of same-sex weddings in The Best Party of Our Lives, and will chat with David Schmader about them. Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave., 322-7030, hugohouse.org. Free.

7 p.m. Sun., Dec. 20.

tractor

Prancer and Dancer

COURTESY OF THE ARTIST

MUSIC Wednesday, Dec. 16

Now that the polar ice caps are melting at an irreversible rate and all the world’s reindeer will soon be replaced by flamingos, it seems logical that Santa might trade in his sleigh for a surfboard. To soundtrack our globally warmed holidays, Seattle’s own DANCER AND PRANCER have taken all the holiday classics you love (“Sleigh Ride,” “Jingle Bell Rock,” “Oh, Holy Night,” etc.) and rewritten them as bodacious instrumental surf-rock tunes.

It may be winter, but you can never have too much spring reverb. With Gazebos, Ubu Roi. Barboza. 8 p.m. $8.

21 and over. KELTON SEARS

Local metal overlords BLACK BREATH (featuring that nice guy with the headband that works at Everyday Music) went for a more classic death-metal feel on its appropriately titled new LP Slaves Beyond Death. Don’t worry, though—the d-beat crust you know and love from these longhairs is here to stay, as is the giant fist that usually adorns its album covers. Lots of fists will likely be swinging around in the air at tonight’s show, so make sure to wear your finest studded leather to fend off any errant blows that might come your way. With Skelator, Sayonara, Convication. Neumos. 8 p.m. $13. 21 and over. KS The FLAVR BLUE is efficient.

Rather than spending a full-length album exploring something as complex as human attraction, the Seattle trio manages to get from love found to love lost in the course of

The three-day PSYCHEDELIC HOLIDAY FREAKOUT festival isn’t necessarily very psychedelic— maybe one of five acts playing each night might be considered such. But don’t let that be an excuse not to trip balls at this seasonal, multi-venue fest, which amazing L.A. shitgaze duo No Age is headlining, along with promising local up-and-comers like the Pavement-worshipping Great Grandpa, the all-American teen pop of Dude York, and the Dionysian glam punk of

JAMBALAYA BRASS ROCK

Sunday, Dec. 20

SMOKEY BRIGHTS

OPEN

LISTED ARE

SHOW TIMES.

WED,

JAZZ ALLEY IS A SUPPER CLUB

DECEMBER 16 th 

ASHLAND FOLKESTRA

PATCHY SANDERS (FINAL SEATTLE SHOW), STEEP RAVINE, SPARE RIB &

8PM - $10

THE BLUEGRASS SAUCE THUR,

DECEMBER 17 th

TUBALUBA

RIPPIN CHICKEN FRI,



CHARLIE HUNTER TRIO 8PM - $10/$12

DECEMBER 18 th 

FUNKSOULICANA

FLOWMOTION MTS + TUNNELS, A CEDAR SUEDE SAT,

9PM - $12

DECEMBER 19 th 

AM POP MAGIC

Winter is the perfect season to finally dive into the crystalline universe of local vocal-looper BRIANA MARELA. Her latest album, All Around Us, recorded in Reykjavik with Sigur Ros producer Alex Somers, swirls, plinks, and shimmers like a gentle dusting of snow observed from your bedroom window. Marela will be soundtracking today’s ArtAche market at Chop Suey, where you can peruse for last-minute locally crafted gifts for your punky loved ones. Also, make sure to check out Hollow Earth Radio host and Rare Air regular DJ Explorateur’s radiant electronic and ambient mixes as you shop.

Way better than whatever they’re probably playing on the PA over at Pacific Place. Chop Suey. 1–6 p.m.

Free. 21 and over. KS

CATALDO, PLANES ON PAPER THURS,

9PM - $10/$12

DECEMBER 31 st  THE STRANGER PRESENTS

DAVID BAZAN & FRIENDS ANDY FITTS

9PM - $20 Up & Coming

12/23 THE DYNETTE SET, 12/26 EDMUND WAYNE, 12/28 SQUARE DANCE, 12/29 AMY VIKING, 12/31 THE DIP, 1/6 WYE OAK 5213 BALLARD AVE. NW  789-3599

www.tractortavern.com

FEATURING BOBBY PREVITE AND CURTIS FOWLKES

WED, DEC 16

Reuniting the 7-string guitar wizard along with longtime collaborators - trombone master and drum maestro.

NEW YORK VOICES HOLIDAY SHOW CELEBRATING SONGS FROM LET IT SNOW

THURS, DEC 17 - SUN, DEC 20

Internationally acclaimed jazz vocal group known for their close-knit voicings, inspired arrangements and unparalleled vocal blend.

THE SENATE TUES, DEC 22 - WED, DEC 23

Seattle’s rock and roll string band with two acoustic guitars, an upright bass and three voices create a dynamic musical hybrid that continues to push the boundaries of acoustic instrumentation!

PONCHO SANCHEZ LATIN JAZZ BAND

SAT, DEC 26 - SUN, DEC 27 & TUES, DEC 29 - NYE THURS, DEC 31ST Master conguero Poncho Sanchez and his 7-piece band has stirred up a fiery stew of straightahead jazz, gritty soul music, and infectious melodies from a variety of Latin American and South American sources.

Four NYE package options!

all ages | free parking | full schedule at jazzalley.com

El Corazon E orazon www.elcorazonseattle.com

109 Eastlake Ave East • Seattle, WA 98109 Booking and Info: 206.262.0482

WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 16TH FUNHOUSE

QUIETER

Glacier Veins, Kathleen Parrish, Itemfinder, Plus Guests Doors 7:00PM / Show 7:30.

ALL AGES/BAR W/ID. $8ADV / $10 DOS

THURSDAY DECEMBER 17TH FUNHOUSE

Briana Marela Steal Shit Do Drugs. Neumos, Barboza, Highline. $15 per night. 7 p.m. 21 and over. Fri., Dec. 18–Sun., Dec. 20. KS

Saturday, Dec. 19

Portland’s chugging, sludgy GAYTHEIST is something of the flagship group of Seattle’s hard rocking Good to Die Records, but tonight’s show serves as the label debut for the newest kids on the roster, Seattle’s freshly signed MERSO (formerly Leatherdaddy). While the group maintains the label’s abrasive vibe, Merso is the most post-rock act Good to Die has signed thus far. Nimbly dancing among soft melodic interludes, mathy drum breaks, and crushing gut-rumbler riffs, Merso’s got a little bit of something for everyone. Apparently, its new record, out in 2016, is inspired by Alan Moore’s turn at writing the Swamp Thing comic, so expect things to get a little . . . swampy tonight. With VHS, Old Iron. Sunset Tavern. 8 p.m. $8. 21 and over. KS

Christmas is an appropriate time to see DAVID BAZAN . The Seattle indie rocker, after all, has fashioned a deep catalogue out of the kinds of philosophical and theological questions that arise when one is, say, forced to spend a week with family, alcohol, and the ghosts of a religious youth. So bring your questions about the virgin birth, and Bazan will actually answer them between his deeply melancholic—and achingly excellent— pop songs. Perhaps he will even give us all the gift of some new material, since he hasn’t released a full-length since 2011’s Strange Negotiations . At the very least, let’s hope he plays his transcendent cover of the Killers’ “Read My Mind,” which was released as a part of Polyvinyl’s Singles Series earlier this month. With Andy Fitts. Tractor Tavern. 8 p.m. $20. 21 and over. MB

PRIMAL TIMES

Idiot Filter, Plus Guests Doors 8:00PM / Show 9:00. 21+. $6 ADV / $8 DOS

FRIDAY DECEMBER 18TH EL CORAZON

SATURDAY DECEMBER 19TH FUNHOUSE BRIAN FOSS PRESENTS:

DANCER & PRANCER

Fe Fi Fo Fums, The Fuzz, The Keynote Speakers

Doors 9:00PM / Show 9:30. 21+. $6 ADV / $8 DOS

SUNDAY WEDNESDAY DECEMBER JULY 22ND 20TH EL ELCORAZON CORAZON BRIAN FOSS PRESENTS:

THRASHERS CORNERCARROLL w/Burlington Coat JASON MICHAEL

Dylan Jakobsen, The Raisers Olson Bros Band, The Marlin Felony, Upwell, Hell Doors 9:00PM / James Band,21+.

The Lowdown Drifters Doors 7:00PM/ Show 9:30. $7

Show 8:00. 21+. $13 ADV / $15 DOS

MONDAY DECEMBER 21ST EL CORAZON

JUST BIRD BOOKING PRESENTS “THE NAUGHTY LIST III” FEATURING:

TAKE WARNING PRESENTS:

Vessels, Rest, Repose, Toarn, The Lion In Winter, Cornerstone Doors 6:00PM / Show 6:30.

ALL AGES/BAR W/ID. $10 ADV / $12 DOS

Coleen Green, Eskimeeaux, Where My Bones Rest Easy Doors 7:00PM / Show 7:30. ALL AGES/BAR W/

INTO THE FLOOD

FRIDAY DECEMBER 18TH FUNHOUSE BRIAN FOSS PRESENTS:

THE BAD THINGS

Annie Ford Band, Crossoads Exchange Doors

8:30PM / Show 9:00. 21+. $8 ADV / $10 DOS

SATURDAY DECEMBER 19TH EL CORAZON

PITY SEX

ID. $13 ADV / $15 DOS

TUESDAY DECEMBER 22ND FUNHOUSE

TOM BENNETT

Tom Bennett, Kelsey Sprague, Megan Krantz, Plus Guests Doors 8:00PM / Show 8:30. 21+. $6 ADV / $8 DOS

WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 23RD FUNHOUSE

SUCCESS

BRIAN FOSS PRESENTS:

7:00PM / Show 7:30. ALL AGES/BAR W/ID. $6 ADV / $8 DOS

Casey Neill and The Norway Rats, Scott Yoder Doors 8:30PM / Show 9:00. 21+. $8 ADV / $10 DOS

Motion, Cold Truth, Cool Void, Plus Guests Doors

TEST APES (W/ MEMBERS OF MINISTRY & BAD LIVERS)

JUST ANNOUNCED 1/10 - NORTHERN SHAKEDOWN / PARIS 1/10 FUNHOUSE - YIDHRA 1/14 - T.S.O.L. 1/24 FUNHOUSE - RIN TIN TIGER 2/5 FUNHOUSE - ACT OF DEFIANCE 2/11 FUNHOUSE - GALLOWS BOUND 2/13 - FRED & TOODY COLE (OF DEAD MOON) 2/19 - NECK DEEP 2/20 FUNHOUSE EARLY SKELATOR 2/20 FUNHOUSE LATE - SUMAC 2/23 FUNHOUSE - GRAVESPELL 2/27 - H2O 3/3 - CHILDREN OF BODOM 3/5 - CANNIBAL CORPSE 4/23 - D.R.I. UP & COMING 12/26 - SHE IS WE 12/30 - DWARVES 12/31 - SUPER GEEK LEAGUE 1/1 FUNHOUSE - MILLHOUS 1/2 FUNHOUSE - GEARS THE FUNHOUSE BAR IS OPEN FROM 3:00PM TO 2:00AM DAILY AND HAPPY HOUR IS FROM 3:00PM UNTIL 6:00PM. Tickets now available at Ticketfly.com – no per order fees for online purchases! Charge by phone at 1-877-987-6487. Online at www.ticketfly.com. Tickets are subject to a service charge. You can also buy advance tickets at the El Corazon Box Office – open weekdays from 11:00am to 9:00pm at the Eastlake Waffle Window. There is a $2 service charge per ticket at The El Corazon Box Office.

The EL CORAZON VIP PROGRAM: details at www.elcorazon.com/vip.html for an application email info@elcorazonseattle.com

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

Thursday, Dec. 17

Friday, Dec. 18

DOORS 30-60 MIN. BEFORE.

If you’d like to close out 2015 with a bill of bands who are preparing for big things in 2016, this is your bill.

It’s been a year since SMOKEY BRIGHTS released its first proper full-length album, Taste for Blood, a conversely bright and hazy kind of pop record that impresses with its balance of tender and sinister and begs for a sophomore effort.

CATALDO is preparing for the follow-up to the transformative 2014 release Gilded Oldies, which found lead man Eric Anderson stepping out from behind his guitar and infusing his balladry with some bass. He should have some new material in tow. PLANES ON PAPER hasn’t made its big splash yet, but a debut full-length of the group’s otherworldly folk duets is rumored to be in the works. Tractor Tavern. 9 p.m. $10. 21 and over. MB

KELTON SEARS

Do you remember way back to 2013, way before “Hotline Bling” took over as the king of meme pop, when everyone and their mother (actually though, for real) was making “Harlem Shake” videos? “Harlem Shake” was the song that finally convinced Billboard to include YouTube metrics in determining the Hot 100 chart, a decision that made the difference between the song landing at the #1 spot vs. the #15 spot. The song also charted a new course in our Wild West digital-music landscape when its creator, electronic producer BAAUER, legally asserted copyright over the onslaught of viral videos it spawned, staking claims over portions of the ad revenue generated by all the thousands of 30-second clips random people across the world made of themselves dancing like Gumby on coke. What has Baauer done since this landmark moment in music history? I have no idea—find out tonight. Q Nightclub. 9 p.m. $16.

21 and over. KS

one EP—the electro-pop group’s latest, LOVE NOTES, released last month. The collection is an evolution for the group, which is fronted by vocalist Hollis WongWear—whom you might remember from Macklemore’s “White Walls.”

Single “Majesty” is the band at its best, slow-jam self. With DJ100Proof, Geo. Chop Suey. 8 p.m. $12 adv./$14 DOS. All ages. MARK BAUMGARTEN

TIMES

2033 6th Avenue (206) 441-9729 jazzalley.com

23

FRESH FRESH FRESH NATURAL TURKEY FOR CHRISTMAS

calendar

We Ship We Seafood Seafood Overnight SeafoodShip Overnight Overnight Anywhere in the USA Anywhere in the USA Anywhere in the USA or We Pack for or We Pack for Travel Pack for AirAirTravel orAirWe Travel University University Seafood & Poultry Seafood & Poultry

We Ship

University Seafood & Poultry 1317 NE 47th, Seattle 1317 NE 47th, Seattle (206) 632-3700 or (206)632-3900 (206) 632-3700 or (206)632-3900

1317 NE 47th, Seattle

(206) 632-3700 or (206) 632-3900

FILM

cinema

NOW PLAYING

FRI DEC 18 - THU DEC 24

H O L ID AY FAV O R IT E S

EGYPTIAN

UPTOWN

FILM CENTER

OPENS DEC 17 - SIFF EXCLUSIVE

OPENS THU DEC 22

HOLIDAY FAVORITES

Golden Globe nominee: Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Original Score. Eddie Redmayne and Alicia Vikander star in this remarkable love story inspired by the life of transgender pioneer Lili Elbe.

Directed by Tom Hooper (The King’s Speech).

4 Golden Globe nominations, including Best Picture Christian Bale, Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling and Brad Pitt star as the Wall Street outsiders who foresee the collapse of the housing market, and hatch a bold plan to bet against the US economy.

805 E PINE ST

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

The Danish Girl

24

511 QUEEN ANNE AVE N

The Big Short

FINAL WEEK - ENDS DEC 24

SIFF EDUCATION Macbeth Starring Michael Fassbender and Screenplay Competition JAN 16 DEADLINE

First Draft

Marion Cotillard.

FINAL WEEK - ENDS DEC 24

Spotlight

Golden Globe nominee: Best Picture, Matt Smith and Bret Fetzer. Unproduced Best Director, Best Screenplay.

Independent Spirit Award Winner: scripts that entertain and receive Best Ensemble audience feedback!

JAN 20 - “All My Children,” written by

Cinema Dissection JAN 23 - Blade Runner with expert

facilitator Sean Axmaker

History of Porn Class JAN 25 - FEB 29 Adults Only

Cult Directors Class JAN 28 - FEB 25

HELD OVER! ENDS DEC 22

SEATTLE CENTER · NW ROOMS

Willy Wonka in Smell-O-Vision Enjoy the beloved family classic with fragrant and tasty treats from our free Wonkariffic goodie bags.

The Princess Bride Quote Along The iconic swashbuckling fairy tale with quote along subtitles, free inflatable swords, and R.O.U.S.

COMING SOON

CHRISTMAS DAY · DEC 25

Fiddler on the Roof Sing Along

Klezmer band and free Chinese food.

NEW YEAR’S EVE · DEC 31

Moulin Rouge! Sing

Janis: Little Girl Blue Along OPENS DEC 24

Carol

Tickets on sale now! 5 Golden Globe nominations: Best Picture, Best Director (Todd Haynes), Best Actress (Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara), Best Original Score

TICKETS & MOVIE TIMES SIFF.NET · 206.324.9996 ENJOY A BEER, CIDER, OR WINE AT YOUR SEAT!

Opening Friday

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE ROAD CHIP Believe it or not,

the Chipmunks are back for the 4th (!) film in this series. Justin Long, Jesse McCartney, and Matthew Gray Gubler voice the rodents. (PG) Opens wide HE NEVER DIED Musician/actor Henry Rollins stars as “a man struggling with the monotony and loneliness that comes with immortality and his eternal struggle with cannibalism.” (R) Pacific Place

Local & Repertory

DROID Screened from VHS, this very

low-budged 1988 cop flick claims to be a mashup of Star Wars and Blade Runner. (NR) Grand Illusion, $5–$9.

9 p.m. Fri. GREMLINS Watch as Phoebe Cates and Zach Galligan (where is he now?) battle ill-behaved green puppets in this 1984 sci-fi comedy, basically a Yuletide riff on the old Star Trek “The Trouble with Tribbles” episode. (PG) EMP Museum, 325 Fifth Ave. N., 3675483, empmuseum.org. $9-$12. 7:30 p.m. Thurs.

■ IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE It’s funny to think that the Christmas movie we all hold near and dear to our hearts not only met with mixed reviews, but also ended up losing RKO a half-million dollars in 1946 (about $6 million today, which buys a lot of socks). But like the bottomedout George Bailey (memorably played

by James Stewart), there was hope for this little movie that could. Almost 70 years later, Frank Capra’s Yuletide melodrama is still one of the most important staples of both Christmas movies and film as a whole. Upon its release, some critics tore it to shreds for its unrealistic, optimistic themes and emotions. The Scrooges of the time apparently saw no need for humor, happiness, and a hope for a better future. Yet today, when the world is so full of hate, anger, and ignorance, it would do us all good to experience some holiday cheer. The GI is hosting its 45th annual screening of this true classic, so do yourself a favor and take a trip down memory lane—or discover it for the first time. SCOTT JOHNSON (NR) Grand Illusion, $5–$9. See grandillusioncinema.org for showtimes. Ends Dec. 31.

THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon,

and Barry Bostwick star in the perennial cult movie from 1975. (R) SIFF Cinema Egyptian, $7-$12. 11:55 p.m. Sat.

THE SHANNARA CHRONICLES

Based on the Terry Brooks fantasy novels, the coming TV series will be screened over several nights. (NR) EMP Museum, $9-$12. See empmuseum.org for schedule. Runs Mon., Dec. 21-Thurs., Dec. 31.

WILLY WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY Oh, God.

It’s the annual “Smell-O-Vision” presentation of the 1971 Gene Wilderstarring adaptation of the Roald Dahl children’s tale. During the same period is a quote-along version of The Princesss Bride. (G) SIFF Film Center (Seattle Center), $10-$15. See siff.net for schedule. Ends Jan. 3.

Ongoing

■ BROOKLYN Burnished by what you might call sentimental realism, this lovely adaptation of Colm Tóibín’s 2009 source novel has young Irishwoman Eilis (Saoirse Ronan, swiftly maturing from Atonement to The Grand Budapest Hotel) sent to America by an older sister. Our heroine is determined to escape the narrow confines of Enniscorthy, where the stifling social codes seem almost medieval—though the year is 1951.

Immediately established in a Brooklyn rooming house and a tony department store, it might seem that Eilis is an innocent, like Dorothy in Oz. Yet, partly because of Ronan’s assurance, Eilis already seems wise to the world.

She appraises new people and situations with a cool gaze that belies her years. Sensitively adapted (by Nick Hornby, of Wild and An Education) and directed (by John Crowley), Brooklyn is respectful of all the minor players in Eilis’ adventures—which oughtn’t be surprising but somehow is. (Jim Broadbent trenchantly plays a priest; Julie Walters adds spice to the twinkle of Eilis’ landlady.) And while there are traces of melodrama, there’s a notable absence of blarney.

BRIAN MILLER (PG-13) Pacific Place, Sundance, Lincoln Square, Thornton Place, Lynwood (Bainbridge), Kirkland, others CHI-RAQ Spike Lee is upfront about the hybrid artifice to this broad, clumsy Chicago tale: Samuel L. Jackson’s cheerfully cynical narrator Delmedes steps in and out of the action to explain how we’re watching an update of the Greek comedy Lysistrata and to caution that most of the dialogue is in rhymed couplets of verse—not unlike modern rap. The plot, as we know from Aristophanes, will be women going on a sex strike to keep their men from war. Our heroine (Teyonah Parris) begins as a blissfully ignorant young woman, smitten with rapper/gangster Chi-Raq

KERRY HAYES/OPEN ROAD FILMS

From left, the ensemble in Spotlight, one of the year’s best-reviewed films: Michael Keaton, Liev Schreiber, Mark Ruffalo, Rachel McAdams, John Slattery, and Brian d’Arcy James.

(Nick Cannon) and untroubled by conscience. After a near-miss rival gang attack, Lysistrata is roused to blockade (“No peace, no pussy!”), mentored by a wise neighbor (Angela Bassett), aided by sassy young women who wear rival colors, and shamed by a grieving mother (Jennifer Hudson). An uncomfortablelooking John Cusack shows up as a crusading priest. This is not a subtle film; it shouts more than it insinuates.

MILLER (R) Ark Lodge CREED The Rocky franchise is almost four decades old! Despite critical pummelings and disrespect, it keeps getting up from the canvas, bloodied but unbowed, to reliable cheers. The crowd-pleasing Creed, assuming you liked the prior six Rocky movies, essentially recycles them. The illegitimate son Adonis (Michael B. Jordan) of Rocky’s old nemesis/pal Apollo Creed seeks self-validation in the ring. Though “Donnie” was raised in an L.A. mansion by Creed’s widow (Phylicia Rashad), he’s more square than street. This amateur boxer wants respect, to prove he’s not a mistake, so he naturally seeks out training advice from grizzled old Rocky (Stallone, now 69, as was Burgess Meredith in Rocky). You can write the rest. Creed is a film unburdened by surprises—or any serious consideration of brain damage and CTE, which will have to wait for Concussion. Writer/director Ryan Cooglar (of Fruitvale Station) does his best with this 50-pound heavy bag of clichés, yet fans won’t care about the sheer familiarity—they’ll reward it.

Creed offers the reliable pleasures of formula and nostalgia. MILLER (PG13) Pacific Place, Thornton Place, others IN THE HEART OF THE SEA In his typically sincere and redemptive adaptation of Nathaniel Philbrick’s 2000 whaling-disaster book, director Ron Howard makes Herman Melville (Ben Whishaw) a character and framing device, who in 1850 seeks out the traumatized last survivor (Brendan Gleeson) of the Essex.

Thirdy years prior, we see how the Nantucket vessel was tensely divided between Captain Pollard (Benjamin Walker), whose family bought him the command, his far more seaworthy first mate, Chase (Chris Hemworth).

First come storms, then the whale attack that (partly) inspired MobyDick, and finally the harrowing survival tale of three small skiffs in the mid Pacific, when things go from bad to worse. Liberties are being taken in the service of this entertaining, uplifting IMAX 3-D yarn, but Howard’s

■ ROOM Joy (the excellent Brie

Larson, from Short Term 12), we shall learn, was abducted as a 17-year-old.

We meet her as the young mother of Jack (Jacob Tremblay, an emotionally pure lodestar), both of them confined to a garden shed/prison that forms the 5-year-old boy’s entire known universe. A skylight above, a few books, and TV cartoons blur into a magical realm for Jack; notions of what’s real and imaginary are just beginning to settle into his head. Adapted by Emma Donoghue from her 2010 novel, Room is marked by Jack’s long, lyrical passages of description, taken directly from the book. Objects are like friends for Jack, who’s been kept in a paradoxical state of enchantment, since Joy needs to hold horrible reality at bay. To be vague about the plot, which takes a big turn after an hour, Jack’s task, like Alice’s in Wonderland, is to understand the rules—or their absence—in two different realms. He’s like a refugee, an almost alien visitor. Joy is meanwhile subject to regular attacks of doubt that I suspect many mothers will know. Is this all my fault? In very different situations, too many women routinely ask the same question, cast the same self-judgment and blame. Lenny Abrahamson, of Frank, provides direction that’s both surehanded and dry-eyed. MILLER (R) Guild 45th, others SPECTRE The 24th James Bond movie carries a strong awareness of its own brand halo. 007 (Daniel Craig) is in disgrace as usual, while MI6 (still led by Ralph Fiennes’ M) is itself threatened by an upstart new spy agency. There’s also a self-satisfied new villain (Christoph Waltz) who goes by different names, and a new Bond girl, Dr. Madeleine Swann (Léa Seydoux), also trying to escape her past. Spectre has a signature look and operating system that reinforce the Bond brand: quality, familiarity, lack of surprise (though many delights), and a design consistency that leads inexorably to the next product launch. It looks back, beginning with the famous theme and gun-barrel intro, then swoops forward in a seamless one-take assassination sequence in Mexico City. The filmmakers must show they can keep up with the Bourne and Mission: Impossible pretenders breathing down their necks. To this Bond-ophile, Spectre’s best moments after the Mexico City hit are familiar polishings of old 007 tropes. Boat chases helicopter, plane chases cars, Jaguar chases Aston Martin, and so on. This enjoyably overstuffed entertainment, also directed by Skyfall’s Sam Mendes, again has Bond reluctantly excavating more of his fraught/repressed past, much of it having to do with his boyhood orphan years with the Austrian Oberhauser family. Yet amid these sticky snowdrifts of memory, one suspects that Ian Fleming would have little use for all the talk of wounded heroes and stolen childhoods. MILLER (PG-13) Meridian, Woodinville, others ■ SPOTLIGHT Arriving at a time when our culture appears to have embraced the idea that it is better to believe what you want to believe and that “the media” is not to be trusted, Spotlight creates excitement out of the day-to-day business of recognizing uncomfortable facts.

Tom McCarthy’s extremely well-cast ensemble drama follows The Boston Globe’s Pulitzer-winning 2002 exposé of the Catholic church’s cover-up of widespread sexual abuse of minors by priests. He relates the story from the multiple viewpoints of editors (John Slattery, Michael Keaton,

Liev Schreiber) and reporters (Mark Ruffalo, Rachel McAdams, Brian d’Arcy James). The approach allows us to see how the scandal permeates every level of Boston society, from blue-collar Catholic neighborhoods where disgraced priests are hidden to tony golf courses where church attorneys share the links with Globe editors. Given such explosive material, McCarthy (The Visitor) mostly lays off the hard sell. (If anything, Spotlight is a little too respectable; McCarthy and co-screenwriter Josh Singer hit each scene exactly on the button, and then move on to the next one.) This movie excels at digging into the nooks and crannies of deepseated corruption and making those shadowed places come to credible life. (R) ROBERT HORTON Meridian, SIFF Cinema Uptown, Lincoln Square, Sundance, Ark Lodge, Kirkland, Thornton Place, Bainbridge, others SUFFRAGETTE This fictionalized account of the English suffrage movement, circa 1912, incorporates real historical figures and makes one composite its heroine: the unschooled East London laundry worker Maud Watts (Carey Mulligan), who’s got a small son and a sympathetic husband (Ben Whishaw). Maud is drawn to the stone-throwing example of her coworker Violet Miller (Anne-Marie Duff) and becomes, to her astonishment and her husband’s “shame,” a suffragette. That maligned group is led by firebrand Emmeline Pankhurst (Meryl Streep), who spends most her time hiding to avoid arrest. A few scenes of the her donning disguises and ducking in and out of speaking halls suggest the kind of thriller Suffragette might’ve been. Likewise the mob scenes (with police beating women), mailbox bombings, and shop-window shatterings anticipate the militancy of our late Civil Rights era. Pankhurst (a real figure) is like the Malcolm X of her day, but Streep zips through her few scenes. The bulk of the movie belongs instead to Maud the martyr, with indignities and outrages stacked predictably upon her. This dull, uplifting classroom movie makes her more the victim than inspiring example. MILLER (PG13) Varsity TRUMBO Screenwriter Dalton Trumbo (1905–1976) was one of the Hollywood Ten, who were blacklisted by the studios during the great red scare of the Cold War era. This is a distant chapter in American history, let alone Hollywood annals. To educate today’s popcorn-chewers, director Jay Roach has to cover a lot of PBS-y ground in this very admiring drama, interpolating new footage with old newsreels of the House Un-American Activities Committee.

Our hero (Bryan Cranston) stubbornly hews to principle—declaimed in tedious speeches, not recognizable prose—and refuses to answer HUAC’s questions, resulting in jail time and disgrace. The rest of Trumbo is a more familiar comeback story, and it’s even less interesting than the first half. Cranston’s had better results playing flawed heroes (Walter White, LBJ, etc.), and the good parts here go to Helen Mirren—as anti-Commie gossip columnist Hedda Hopper—and Michael Stuhlbarg, as Trumbo’s weakly compliant pal Edward G. Robinson.

This is the kind of handwringing drama where Trumbo’s loyal wife (Diane Lane) asks, “Where have all the liberals gone?” Where indeed.

Ironically, this is exactly the kind of movie its hero was paid to punch up during the blacklist. MILLER (R) Guild 45th, others

SE AT TLE

4500 9TH AVE. NE • 206-633-0059

ORCA Mondays and GIRLS MOVIE NIGHT OUT Tuesdays are taking a holiday over the holidays. They return Jan 4.

Delivered weekly straight to your in-box

STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS in 3D / 2D SISTERS

FILM NEWSLETTER

SPOTLIGHT BROOKLYN

The latest reviews and inside scoop on upcoming films.

DILWALE THE MARTIAN in 2D

WWW.SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM/SIGNUP

HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY PART 2 IN THE HEART OF THE SEA in 2D / 3D

*Tickets available at the box office.

SUNDANCECINEMAS.COM

CREMATION PRE-PLANNING We’re the company everyone is talking about!

Join us for a complimentary meal and short seminar—have all your questions answered without any pressure.

• Worldwide Coverage Available • 0% Interest Financing • Lock in Today’s Price for Life!

Join us at

599

$

*

*$599 is for at-need service only. To lock in lifetime price guarantee, there is an additional $150 processing fee due.

Expires 12/31/2015.

Shari’s Restaurant 15252 Aurora Ave N, Seattle Tuesday, December 8 ................11:30 am Tuesday, December 22 .........10:00 am

RSVP to Dan at 253.831.2646

844.682.6800 • www.cremationsocietywa.com

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

real challenge is this: No one in the year 2015 wants to see a movie about sentient mammals being slaughtered for their oil (used for lamps in those pre-electric days). Howard also has to acknowledge modern environmental concerns. Nineteenth-century whaling is resource management at its worst, its rapaciousness deservedly near collapse. When Moby-Dick strikes back, Chase asks, “What offence did we give God? Our arrogance? Our greed?” No, replies Pollard, it’s man’s mission “to bend nature to our will.” And to keep the investors happy. MILLER (PG-13) Sundance, Meridian, Pacific Science Center, Bainbridge, others LEGEND This isn’t an especially good gangster movie, but it does allow Tm Hardy to play both the notorious twin gangsters Ronnie and Reggie Kray. Stylish East London celebrities in the ’60s, the Krays present writer/director Brian Helgeland with the same problem as in Black Mass: name-brand mobsters like Whitey Bulger are now in thin supply, figures plucked from an increasingly distant past. Still, Legend gets the period look—cinematography by the great Dick Pope—and texture exactly right. Ron (in glasses) and Reg wear carefully tailored suits, as a proper gangster should. Their adventures are related from the perspective of Reggie’s future wife, Frances (Emily Browning), which gives the movie and oddly passive, observational feel. Once you realize how routine Legend is, especially compared to 1990’s The Krays, the main pleasure lies in watching Hardy. And, boy, is he watchable. Legend is chiefly a comedy-with-violence, and the interplay between Reg and Ron is like Keitel and De Niro bickering in Mean Streets. One’s a mentally fragile clown, openly gay, with thicker jawline and Cockney accent (Ron); the other’s a selfish, dapper careerist who grows ever more exasperated by his brother’s idiocy. Are there any famous triplets Hardy could play?

MILLER (R) Varsity MACBETH This sensual, stylish, and compact Macbeth, directed by Justin Kurzel, will offend delicate Shakespearians. Some I heard complaining after the screening about liberties taken with the old iambs.

But with Michael Fassbender as the Scottish usurper and Marion Cotillard as his scheming wife, Kurzel is more intent on the passions that drive them to regicide and further bloodshed.

He begins the movie with a long muddy battle scene, full of camera tricks and visual flourishes that continue through the film. (Directing his second movie, Kurzel comes from the worlds of theatrical design and advertising.) Even though Macbeth claims victory and glory, the psychological cost is high; for the rest of the story he’ll be visited not only by the ghost of Banquo (gentle Paddy Considine) but other fallen soldiers.

Lady M, meanwhile, is haunted by her dead child; she’s more pathetic than evil, and Cotillard lets the tears flow during her big soliloquy.

Fassbender starts in a lower register, then something palpably snaps after Macbeth dispatches the king (David Thewlis). His ferocity, then regret, is well matched by the vengeful Macduff of Sean Harris (the villain in this summer’s Mission: Impossible movie). The real significance to this simple, forceful adaptation is as the New Haven tryout for this team’s next project: Kurzel will direct Fassbender and Cotillard in Assassin’s Creed.

Expect no textual quibbles there.

MILLER (R) SIFF Cinema Uptown, Seven Gables

25

odds&ends

HIGHER GROUND

Fronting a Movement

BY MICHAEL A. STUSSER

26

I’m concerned that a profit-driven Big Pot industry will increase potency, decrease regulation, encourage overuse, and abandon limits on age and availability of what surely is a mind-bending drug meant for fully functioning adults.

I’m concerned that those now organizing “Boycott 502 Store” campaigns are missing an important point: that legalization, taxation, and regulation are moving the movement forward, and don’t (necessarily) need to jeopardize the rights of and safe access for patients.

I’m concerned that we’re moving more toward Walter White’s vision than Bob Marley’s.

I’m concerned that marijuana will not only be federally legalized, but controlled and dominated by mega-corporations who begin to squeeze out indie farmers, add pesticides and food coloring, and eventually decide that GMO cloning is the easiest option—and we’ll wind up right back where we started: with “prescription” drugs so far from the plant you need a lawyer to read the label.

I’m concerned that with so much emphasis on the amazing medicinal attributes of cannabis, the population without ailments will shy away from the very real benefits of simply getting high.

I’m concerned that the marijuana movement and cannabis culture may not stay true to the ideals that launched the journey, including civil rights and personal liberties. It was never about a Green Rush. It wasn’t about “waking and baking” or dabbing till we got couchlocked. It was about allowing people to farm. It was about being able to use a natural herb to mellow out, and, as it turns out, for medicinal purposes. Ultimately, it’s about making sure no one goes to prison for possessing a plant that grows out of God’s green Earth. That vision of personal freedom—that movement—I can get behind. Those ideals don’t concern me at all. E For more Higher Ground, visit highergroundtv.com.

BRIANNA CASHIN

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

I

’m concerned that I may be fronting the largest drug operation since Scarface and meth labs ruled the night.

I’m concerned about kids and marijuana and making more of it available to their developing young flea-brains (which, if they’re like mine, will remain half-baked until their late 20s).

I’m concerned about involving the government in oversight and taxation, as we know full well they fuck up everything they get their grubby hands on (and are already squabbling over and redirecting the massive tax revenue being collected).

I’m concerned about the “dabbing” culture that takes highly concentrated cannabis and fires it up with a blowtorch, making users look like crack addicts and putting a frightful face on the future of legalization.

I’m concerned Maureen Dowd will try to get stoned again.

I’m concerned about people who are getting too high too often—“All Day, Everyday”—and are no better than the drunks, tobacco smokers, and opiate addicts we say we’re “safer than.”

I’m concerned that, despite childproof packaging and clear “Adults Only” warning labels, cannabis products that look like gummy bears, chocolate bars, lollipops, and peanut-butter cups may fall into the hands of youngsters.

I’m concerned that corporate fat cats will see the billions being made in legal states, then craft and finance self-serving initiatives that make them rich while cutting out the original growers who for decades fought prohibition from their black-market basements.

I’m concerned that marijuana’s dirty secret will get out—that growing weed indoors sucks up water and power like golf courses on steroids—and make progressive voters wary of voting for legalization. I’m also concerned that, without the proper regulation, even legal cannabis will be laden with pesticides, mold, and other untested and unlisted chemicals.

I’m concerned that, until we rename cannabis strains such as AlienKush OG, Girl Scout Cookies, GreenCrack, and BubbleBerry, we won’t be taken seriously.

I’m concerned that the stoner clichés of the past are being used against individuals who are fabulous souls, but do not wish to be involved in capitalistic and ganjapreneurial efforts.

I’m concerned that current growers in California’s Emerald Triangle have it so good they won’t support the legalization efforts in their state, and may even actively oppose initiatives with their own money. (It’s estimated that more than 80 percent of California’s marijuana is exported—providing little incentive for farmers there to follow a seed-to-sale tracking system.)

ADULT PHONE ENTERTAINMENT Free FORUMS & CHATROOM 206-753-CHAT 253-203-1643 425-405-4388

Tired of talking to your cat?

206-753-CHAT 253-203-1643 425-405-4388 WebPhone on LiveMatch.com Ladies free to talk w/VIPs!

MAN to MAN Free chatrooms!

206-753-CHAT 253-359-CHAT 425-405-CHAT WebPhone on LiveMatch.com

SPAS

KING’S MASSAGE Body Shampoo Sauna Expert Massage Come and see us

CASTING CALL: Hot “real” northwest guys +18 y.o. wanted for adult video/photo work. www.XYRAW.com

13811 HIGHWAY 99 LYNNWOOD WA 98087 425-743-6183

JESSICA’S ULTIMATE SPA

Sensual Relaxation 425.765.0376

All American Girls • Hot Showers OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK 10am - 9pm 1084 KIRKLAND AVE NE RENTON, WA 98056

TAX PROBLEMS? You Could Save Thousands On Any Amount You Currently Owe The IRS

AND REPLY TO ADS

To Get Your Free Report “What the IRS Does Not Want You to Know” GO TO www.nunnbettertaxresolution.com

Free Code: Seattle Weekly

Gig Harbor 249k, 2 bed room, 2 bathroom, workshop w/bathroom, on beautiful 1 acre near downtown, 253-853-5046 WA Misc. Rentals Rooms for Rent Greenlake/WestSeattle $550 & up (1st/last/deposit) Utilities included! busline, some with private bathrooms • Please call Anna between 10am & 8pm • 206-790-5342

Appliances

Auto Events/ Auctions

KENMORE REPO Heavy duty washer & dryer, deluxe, large cap. w/normal, perm-press & gentle cycles. * Under Warranty! * Balance left owing $272 or make payments of $25. Call credit dept.

206-244-6966

BIG D TOWING Abandoned Vehicle Auction Tuesday 12/29/15 @ 11AM. 2 Vehicles Preview 10-11am.

1540 Leary Way NW, Seattle 98107

NEW APPLIANCES UP TO 70% OFF All Manufacturer Small Ding’s, Dents, Scratches and Factory Imperfections *Under Warranty* For Inquiries, Call or Visit Appliance Distributors @ 14639 Tukwila Intl. Blvd.

206-244-6966

Announcements

REPO REFRIGERATOR Custom deluxe 22 cu. ft. sideby-side, ice & water disp., color panels available

You won’t be disappointed

MASSEUSE NEEDED

FREE TO LISTEN

Real Estate for Sale Pierce County

UNDER WARRANTY!

Professional Services Music Lessons GUITAR LESSONS Exp’d, Patient Teacher. BFA/MM Brian Oates (206) 434-1942

Home Services Lawn/Garden Service

Henning Gardening

Plant. Prune. Weed.

Bark. Mow. Debris Removal.

Call Geoff for fall cleanup

206-854-1794

6 HOUR MIN . LIC . INSURED Appliances AMANA RANGE Deluxe 30” Glasstop Range self clean, auto clock & timer ExtraLarge oven & storage *UNDER WARRANTY* Over $800. new. Pay off balance of $193 or make payments of $14 per month. Credit Dept.

206-244-6966

KENMORE FREEZER

Repo Sears deluxe 20cu.ft. freezer 4 fast freeze shelves, defrost drain,

interior light *UNDER WARRANTY* Make $15 monthly payments or pay off balance of $293.

Credit Dept. 206-244-6966

was over $1200 new, now only payoff bal. of $473 or make pmts of only $15 per mo.

Credit Dept. 206-244-6966

Flea Market

1/2 Chord +, cut, dried $60. 253-841-4037.

COFFEE TABLE, octagon, 4 bevelled smoked glass panels, base underneath, Excellent cond, $45. Bellevue 425641-0643.

Auto Events/ Auctions

ABANDONED VEHICLE AUCTION Saturday 12/19/15 Preview 8:00 AM Auction 9:00 AM A-Seattle Towing, LLC 13226 1st Ave S. Burien 206-856-1388 www.towseattle.com

@weeklyevents

(253) 882-0882

The YWCA of Seattle|King|Snohomish seeks a

Seasonal Donor and Information Services Assistant to provide support for the YWCA Donor & Information Services Team with heavy data entry using the Raiser’s Edge fundraising database.

Seasonal from January to July.

Vans & Minivans Volkswagen

1969 Hippy Vanagon, restored and running, $2,500. 303-845-0747 or 206-842-6767 Employment Services WANTS TO purchase minerals and other oil & gas interests.

Send details to P.O. Box 13557, Denver, Co 80201

Employment General Order Generator Work for the Northwest’s Largest Tree Preservation Service.

No Experience Necessary.

Must enjoy working with people and being outdoors Set Your Own Schedule.

Paid Orientation, Marketing Materials & Company Apparel Provided • $500-$750/ Week Average, Top Reps earn $1000+ • Daily Travel & Monthly Cell Phone Allowance Available • Group Medical & Voluntary Dental Plan Avail Email resume to recruiting@evergreentlc.com 1-800-684-8733 ext. 3434

Now Hiring Motorcoach Operators in Seattle It’s time to steer your driving talent, commitment to safety and customer service focus to a company where your efforts get the most mileage: Greyhound. We’re going places, and so should you. Come drive with us.

GREYHOUND PROUDLY OFFERS: • Free training (and money while you learn!)

• Free travel passes

• Competitive pay • Comprehensive benefits including 401(k)

Apply on-line at:

apply.firstgroupcareers.com EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER

Full-time, 30-40hrs/wk. $15.84 /hr.

Respond to nahiring@ywcaworks.org Details @ www.ywcaworks.org

Celebrating 100 Years as a Leader in Ground Transportation A Division of First Group America BAYARD ADVERTISING AGENCY, INC

JOB #:

081008

Multi-Media Advertising Consultant Puget Sound Region, WA Do you have a proven track record of success in sales and enjoy managing your own territory?

Are you competitive and thrive in an energetic environment? Do you desire to work for a company that offers uncapped earning opportunities?

Are you interested in a fast paced, creative atmosphere where you can use your sales expertise to provide consultative print and digital solutions? If you answered YES then you need to join the largest community news organization in Washington. The Daily Herald/La Raza is looking for a candidate who is selfmotivated, results-driven, and interested in a multi-media sales career. This position will be responsible for print and digital advertising sales to an exciting group of clients from Bellingham to Tacoma.

The successful candidate will be engaging and goal oriented, with good organizational skills and will have the ability to grow and maintain strong business relationships through consultative sales and excellent customer service. Every day will be a new adventure! You can be an integral part of our top-notch sales team; helping local business partners succeed in their in print or online branding, marketing and advertising strategies. Professional sales experience necessary; media experience is a definite asset but not mandatory. If you have these skills, and enjoy playing a pro-active part in helping your clients achieve business success, please email your resume and cover letter to: hreast@soundpublishing.com ATTN: LARAZA in the subject line. We offer a competitive compensation (Base plus Commission) and benefits package including health insurance, paid time off (vacation, sick, and holidays), and 401K (currently with an employer match.)

Sound Publishing is an Equal Opportunity Employee (EOE) and strongly supports diversity in the workplace.

Visit our website to learn more about us! www.soundpublishing.com ECO ELEMENTS METAPHYSICAL BOOKS & GIFTS Part Time Position Immediate Associate Needed Must Be Experienced in Retail Sales and Metaphysics Drop off resume in person & book list to: 1530 1st Ave

Tree Professionals Wanted Looking for Experienced Climber to performing Residential Tree Trimming, Pruning & Removal work.

Full Time- Year Round, No Layoffs Day rate DOE, Incentives, Medical & Voluntary Dental Must have climbing gear, vehicle & DL Email work experience to recruiting@treeservicesnw.com 1-800-684-8733 ext. 3434

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

www.megamates.com 18+

ET TOWING AUCTION, 3400 16th Ave West, Seattle. 206-622-1111.

Dec. 15th at 12 noon.

Viewing 9am- 10am.

ACCELERATE YOUR CAREER. GO GREYHOUND!

FIND REAL GAY MEN NEAR YOU

Tacoma:

425-392-6000 To view list go to: www.clarktow.com

%206-244-6966%

Toll Free: 844-SOS-1040

(206) 877-0877

Preview at 11am

Auction @ 1780 NW Maple St., Issaquah, WA

STACK LAUNDRY Deluxe front loading washer & dryer. Energy efficient, 8 cycles.

Like new condition * Under Warranty * Over $1,200 new, now only $578 or make payments of $25 per month

Nunn Better Tax Resolution LLC, Redmond, WA

Seattle:

Clark’s Towing, LLC Public Auto Auction 12/18/15- 12 PM

Employment General

27

Employment Computer/Technology

Classified

Call

@ 206-623-6231, to place an ad Enroll Now! Severe Allergies to Food or the Environment?

Earn $200 per qualified plasma donation and help advance medical research! 425-258-3653 - plasmalab.com

Singing Lessons

FreeTheVoiceWithin.com Janet Kidder 206-781-5062

$ TOP CASH $

PAID FOR UNWANTED CARS & TRUCKS

Up To $1000

7 Days * 24 Hours Licensed + Insured

ALL STAR TOWING

425-870-2899

Temporary, Temporary-to-Hire & Direct Hire Do you have administrative experience? We place: Receptionists

•

Bookkeepers

•

Administrative Assistants

•

Executive Assistants

•

Office Support Specialists

•

Legal Assistants

•

Office Managers

•

Accounting Assistants

•

Data Entry Personnel

•

Marketing Assistants

•

NEVER A FEE TO YOU! Apply Online: www.tyiseattle.com Or call today — we’re here for you!

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 16 — 22, 2015

206.386.5400

28

Temporarily Yours Staffing

720 3rd Ave. Ste. 1420 - Seattle, WA 98104 “The friendliest and preferred agency”

Employment Career Services THE OCEAN Corp. 10840 Rockley Road, Houston, Texas 77099. Train for a new career. *Underwater Welder. Commercial Diver. *NDT/Weld Inspector. Job Placement Assistance.

Financial Aid avail for those who qualify 1.800.321.0298

Employment Computer/Technology Dir, Data Mgmt to lead design, devlpmt &implemntn of datamgmt sys, tools & processes for consumer & product scvs.

Reqs: BS CompSci/Info Tech/Engrg, +5yrs exp in devlp of data mgmt. solutions incl data engrg, data reportg, & data modeling. Exp must incl: large data sets containing PII or PCI; data sets warehoused across 1st, 2nd, & 3rd party apps; dsgn of multi-terabyte data warehouse for 1K+ user field; data modeling w/star schema dsgn & slowly changing dimensions; Amazon Web Svcs cloud tech incl Elastic Map Reduce & Redshift; advanced data analytic tools incl SAS, R, or Python; OBIEE or Micro Strategy; RDBMS, ODBMS, SQL, ETL, & Hadoop data access methods; end-toend BI solution dsgn; use of an ETL tool; managing data engineers/BI professionals; and Scrum, Kanban or Scrumban.

Jobsite: Seattle, WA. Mail resume to: ABC Inc, Attn: S. Reutter, Job ID#46587-16, PO BOX 6992, Burbank, CA 91510-6992. Principals only.

No Calls. EOE ENGINEERING Alcatel-Lucent USA, Inc. in Redmond, WA seeks Test Engineer. RF & wireless transmission design. Work at customer site in Redmond, WA 40 hrs/week, report to ALU ofc in Redmond, WA, any incurred business travel fully reimbursed by employer. Reqs incl. BS/ or foreign equiv in EE, Elec Eng, or rel + 5 yrs progressive exp.

Mail resume to Alcatel-Lucent USA Inc., Attn: HR, 600 Mountain Ave.,6D-401E, Murray Hill, NJ 07974. Please Include job code 69489 in reply. EOE.

Employment Computer/Technology Adobe Systems, Inc. seeks applicants for the following F/T position at its Seattle, WA worksite: Solution Architect (JOB CODE #40673): Work as part of a team; provide direction and specialty knowledge while applying the technology applications to client business. Ed or exp background must include: Business intelligence systems &/or web analytic platforms; JavaScript, CSS & HTML Skills, etc. Reqs: MS or Equiv. To apply, applications must indicate Job Code and mail resume and cover letter to: Adobe Systems, Attn: Arlene Batten, 345 Park Avenue, San Jose, CA 95110.

Principals only. EOE Engineering /Technology NVIDIA Corporation, market leader in graphics & digital media processors, has an engineering opportunity in Redmond, WA for a Developmental Technology Software Engineer III (DTSE03) Interact closely with the architecture and software teams at NVIDIA to ensure the best possible performance and results.

If interested, ref job code and send resume to: NVIDIA Corporation. Attn: MS04 (J.Green).

2701 San Tomas Expressway, Santa Clara, CA 95050. Please no phone calls, emails or faxes.

Software Development Engineer: Develop & Write solutions for iOS products, Build native iOS products on Agile Dev. Methodology, perform Object Oriented Analysis & Object Oriented Design, translate concept designs into user interfaces on mobile devices Req. MS Comp Science or related Exp. 48 mos. Job Location: 500 Boren Ave N, Seattle, WA 98109.

Apply to: Audible, Inc. Nishi Dhami,1 Washington Dr, Newark, NJ 07102. Email: ndhami@audible.com Must use ref: SDEMW

Want to stop drinking to numb the pain?

Volunteers are needed for the APT Study examining two different types of treatment for people who have both alcohol problems and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Counseling is provided at no cost.

Call the APT Study at

206-543-0584

SOFTWARE Software Development Engineer sought by Zillow, Inc. for Seattle office. Particip in all aspects of prod dsgn & dev’t w/ a highly collab team. Wk directly w/ designers to implem’t consistent & flexible interfaces in HTML/CSS, using JavaScript to bring them to life. Reqs: B.S. In Comp Sci or Comp Engr. +6 mos exp as a SW Engr, SW Intern, or rel’d role. Reply to: Job# V0001, 1301 2nd Ave, Fl 31, Seattle, WA 98101 or jobs@zillow.com SW dev’t company seeking Graphics Engr. to write code for graphics engine & graphic features across all of target platforms. Req: master’s in comp. sci., or related, plus knowledge/skills in C/C++, CPU assembly & debugging, HLSL & related GPU languages, GPU assembly & debugging, & real-time shader tech. & optimization. Jobsite: Bellevue, WA. Work Auth. req’d if hired.

Send resume to Bungie Inc. careers@bungie.com.

Principals only.

Employment Computer/Technology TECHNICAL Cisco Systems, Inc. is accepting resumes for the following position in Bellevue, WA: Consulting Systems Engineer (Ref.# BEL9): Provide specific end-to-end solutions and architecture consulting, technical and sales support for major account opportunities at the theater, area, or operation level. Telecommuting permitted and travel may be required to various unanticipated locations throughout the United States.

Network Consulting Engineer (Ref.# BEL1): Responsible for the support and delivery of Advanced Services to company’s major accounts. Please mail resumes with reference number to Cisco Systems, Inc., Attn: M51H, 170 W. Tasman Drive, Mail Stop: SJC 5/1/4, San Jose, CA 95134. No phone calls please. Must be legally authorized to work in the U.S. without sponsorship. EOE. www.cisco.com

Classified Ads in

just $9 per line per week (or less if running long term) Contact 206-623-6231 classifieds@seattleweekly.com

n o s u w o M l l A o R f G A T INS @