Seattle Weekly, December 18, 2013

DECEMBER 18-24, 2013 I VOLUME 38 I NUMBER 51

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FILM THE RETURN OF RON BURGUNDY PAGE 46

BUILDING A BETTER

APPLE

TH E SECON D WAVE OF GMOS HAS GIVEN US AN APPLE THAT WON’T BROW N. BUT WILL ANYBODY GROW IT? BY N I NA SHAPIRO

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inside» December 18–25, 2013 » SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM

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»12

news&comment 9

THE $15 QUESTION

Raising the minimum wage is a hot topic.

Maybe D.C. will have some answers?

9 | SEATTLELAND 11 | SPORTSBALL

12 APPLE 2.0

BY NINA SHAPIRO | Genetic engineering can produce a non-browning version of Washington’s iconic fruit. But can it win over the industry?

food&drink 37 A PIG DEAL

BY NICOLE SPRINKLE | Le Petit

Cochon’s elegant comfort food.

37 | FOOD NEWS 37 | TEMPERATURE CHECK 38 | THE BAR CODE

arts&culture 39 A VERY NETFLIX XMAS

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39 ARTS | | | | |

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53 MUSIC

A folk pioneer remembered, a “feral rock growl,” and more.

53 | SEVEN NIGHTS 56 | ALBUM REVIEWS

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news&comment

The Rising Tide

Pirate Sam’s Ferry-Tale Life

With a significant minimum-wage hike looking inevitable, the debate is in the details.

BY NINA SHAPIRO

W

S

A common post in Seattle.

The union leader says he is also prepared to accept some delay in the speed with which a wage hike takes place—“as long as we’re not talking about 10 years.”

City Council member Mike O’Brien brings up a bill that’s now on the table in Washington, D.C. Endorsed late last month by all of that city’s council members, it would raise the city’s minimum wage to $11.50 by the end of three years. A two- or three-year time frame “sounds

reasonable,” O’Brien says.

That bill is actually the D.C. council’s second attempt at passing a minimum-wage bill. The first would have set a $12.50 minimum wage, but only for retailers earning more than $1 billion a year—the measure was aimed at big-box retailers like Walmart. When the retail giant threatened to cancel plans for new stores in the city, Mayor Vincent Gray vetoed the so-called Large Retailer Accountability Act. Nevertheless, Meinert calls the act “very interesting” and suggests that Seattle might want

One of the thorniest questions in this debate is what to do about small businesses, whose

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 10

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SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEM BER 18 — 24, 2013

“If you pass something that says companies making over a billion a year have to pay $15 an hour, nobody’s going to complain.”

to do something similar. “If you pass something that says companies making over a billion a year have to pay $15 an hour, nobody’s going to complain,” he says. It would be a completely different story, he adds, if you pass such a minimum-wage for “small day cares, small nonprofits, and other small businesses.” He points out that, contrary to what some believe, SeaTac’s measure does not enact an across-the-board wage hike either, but affects only businesses that revolve around the airport and that meet size and other criteria.

Similarly, O’Brien says he’s pondering an approach that would focus on specific industries—say, those dealing with fast food or hospitality.

City Council member Tim Burgess is intrigued by another aspect of what D.C. is doing. Council members there are coordinating with their counterparts in neighboring Prince George’s and Montgomery counties (Md.) so that they can raise the minimum wage together.

Burgess says he plans to bring up the possibility of a regional approach uniting King, Pierce, Snohomish, and Kitsap counties. (Whether impatient minimum-wage activists will wait for that undoubtedly excruciating bureaucratic process is another matter.)

THE WEEKLY BRIEFING | What’s going on at seattleweekly.com: Efforts were underway to free a Renton woman jailed in German Amazon workers flew to Seattle to protest low wages in the Mexico for leading a vigilante police force that arrested a sheriff. old country; no word on whether they bought their own airfare. It was revealed that the Amazon drone footage was shot outside the U.S., since FAA restrictions bar such a stunt here. Black Santas aplenty were scheduled to appear at malls across Seattle, Fox News be damned.

Bertha’s still stuck.

Boeing still sucks.

Lyft says it’s fucked if the city passes proposed regs on rideshare apps.

a

ammy, we hardly knew you.

You were our folk hero, a wild man, a go-for-it dreamer. The town buzzed with news of your heist. Some wanted to erect a statue of you. You stole an $8 million ferry boat for a joy ride!

In the morning darkness of December 1, you crawled through a gap in

BY RICK ANDERSON the waterfront fence around the Victoria Clipper, sneaked aboard a 480-ton international passenger ship, found the keys in the ignition, and set sail—for West Seattle. Far out!

And then the thing died on you. The Clipper people looked out their window and saw their big Canadian ferry adrift on Elliott Bay. What the? The captain wasn’t even at work yet. The first cruise to merry Victoria was hours away. Did the boat break loose or something?

They called a tug. When it arrived to rescue the drifting Clipper IV, the crew saw you at the helm. They locked themselves in their pilot house and called the cops.

The Seattle Police SWAT team arrived with reinforcements: Port of Seattle Police, Sam McDonough King County Sheriff ’s Bomb Squad, a hostage negotiator, and an FBI agent assigned to the Joint Terrorism Task Force.

All that shock and awe for Samuel K. McDonough—just a nutty guy celebrating his 33rd birthday!

When the negotiator called, you told him your name was Zorro. But sometimes you went by Chaos. You the man, Sam. And when the hostage negotiator asked what you wanted, you said you were a pirate. And like most pirates, you were lonely.

“Bring me a woman,” you said!

The cops boarded and took you into custody.

Later, they perp-walked you in front of the media. On TV we saw a skinny guy in cuffs wearing a life vest and what seemed to be a drunken smile as he strolled past the cameras.

You were a jolly pirate of the low seas who’d had one too many bottles of rum, we figured.

High five, Sam, you made our day.

The next day, not so much. Guess you didn’t exactly untie the boat, we learned. You cast off a few mooring lines, then powered away, snapping other lines—including the electrical hookup and

SEATTLELAND

FLICKR CREATIVE COMMONS

hen local venture capitalist Nick Hanauer laid out his “capitalist’s case” for a $15 minimum wage just six months ago, he says he was hailed as “the devil” in certain circles, while a Forbes columnist called his thesis a “near-insane idea.”

Oh, what a difference a few months can make.

Today—after SeaTac voters narrowly approved a $15-an-hour minimum-wage measure; after socialist Seattle City Council candidate Kshama Sawant rode to victory on a minimum-wage platform; after a wave of national fast-food worker strikes protesting abysmal pay—the call for a $15 minimum wage in Seattle has an air of inevitability.

All of Seattle City Council’s members have said they intend to make the issue a top priority, with Sawant saying she will move on a ballot initiative for November if they don’t act fast enough. While not announcing a detailed proposal, Sawant on Tuesday announced the launch of a website, 15.now.org, aimed at reaching workers themselves and building a grassroots movement. Mayor elect Ed Murray has scheduled a press conference for Thursday at which he will announce an “income inequality advisory committee.”

Unlike in SeaTac, where Proposition 1 sparked a fierce fight, the reaction from Seattle’s business community has so far been muted. Restaurateur and music promoter David Meinert, who has qualms about a blanket $15 mandate, explains that many find talking about their views “scary” for fear of being labeled “a bad person” in progressive Seattle. Witness the reaction of Kate Joncas, president and CEO of the Downtown Seattle Association, when called about the issue.

She said her group hadn’t talked about it yet, and then abruptly hung up.

Yet a debate is quietly shaping up—centered not so much on whether a minimum-wage hike needs to happen, but on what the right number is, who should be affected, and how quickly it should be implemented. Those mulling over the issue are looking not just to SeaTac but to other cities offering different minimum-wage models, most notably Washington, D.C. “There are important questions about what is the best way to do this,” allows David Rolf, president of SEIU Local 775, a lead organizer behind SeaTac’s Proposition 1. He acknowledges that a 61 percent minimum-wage hike (from the imminent 2014 state rate of $9.32 an hour) is a much more ambitious goal in Seattle than in SeaTac, due to our city’s vastly larger and more diverse economy.

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 11 9

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news&comment» The Rising Tide » FROM PAGE 9 viability would be most impacted by a big jump in payroll costs. One option would be to exempt them entirely. Remarkably, not all small businesses are calling for that.

“I want to be part of the solution,” says Joe Fugere, owner of Tutta Bella Neapolitan Pizzeria and a member of the mayor-elect’s advisory transition committee. Yet he says he’s still making up his mind about whether to support a minimum wage as high as $15, and in any case doesn’t think the answer to the “living wage” gap is “a single number.”

By way of example, he says that all his employees, including dishwashers, earn at least $13 an hour. But that income is derived by pooling and redistributing tips—something he maintains should be taken into account when setting a minimum wage.

Meinert, who is starting a 401K program at his restaurant, The 5 Spot, holds that retirement and health-insurance benefits should also be factored in.

Nor might a minimum-wage bill affect all employees equally. “We might want to treat a high-school student working a summer job differently from a 35-year-old mom with two children at home,” Hanauer muses.

Jim Spady, owner of Dick’s Drive-In, suggests a “training wage” aimed at teens or those entering the job market for the first time. (Current state minimum-wage rules already allow 14- and

15-year-olds to be paid less.)

Some of these ideas are sure to meet with pushback from $15-wage advocates. Rolf, for instance, expresses skepticism about a training wage, saying it could lead employers to lay off adults and hire teens in their place. The union president also seems disinclined to lower the $15 number or allow for exemptions. “We’re in favor of a $15 minimum wage—not a $15 wage just for some people,” he says.

While he may have to compromise, it’s worth noting that such a bill might also push some wages higher than $15—at a business like Dick’s, for instance, which prides itself on attracting the most capable staffers by offering pay and benefits above the norm. The iconic Seattle hamburger chain offers a starting wage of $10.25 an hour, which rises to $10.75 after three months. The company also provides a highly unusual health plan, whose premiums it pays entirely, without any employee contribution. On top of that, Dick’s encourages its workers to go to college by offering $22,000 toward their education.

Spady doesn’t support a $15-an-hour minimum wage. He argues that such a hike would prompt employers to become more selective, ultimately hurting those who need a starting job most. But if such a wage becomes the law of the land, he would not only comply. Rather, he says, “We would have to respond and pay more than the market.”

Flipping burgers for $16 an hour? It seems possible in Seattle’s new political climate. E

nshapiro@seattleweekly.com

news&comment» A Ferry-Tale Life » FROM PAGE 9 tearing a cleat off the dock. That’ll cost some money.

But, hey, it was your first ferry command. And you followed pirate etiquette—raiding the dutyfree cupboard and the liquor supply. You also snatched a couple bottles of perfume, presumably for that lady friend. That was nice.

Then the cops released more details. You seemed a little mixed-up, Sam. You thought someone had remotely turned off the engines, you said in a recorded statement. You rambled about “trying to hold myself and the boat hostage.” You said you wanted to go to West Seattle—but maybe Victoria. It sounded like you were running from something.

At least you were sort of poetic. Your plan was, you said, to “flee from the scene of the crime in the nick of time.”

Then, in the following days, we heard from the prosecutor. And since then, some of us have read through other court papers. There are a lot of them, Sam, dating back more than a decade.

Hmmm. They include three felony convictions

You told a cop that exposing yourself is “another way to communicate with a girl.”

randerson@seattleweekly.com

Journalist and author Rick Anderson writes about crime, money, and politics, which tend to be the same thing.

W

hat I really want: a healthy Percy Harvin. Signed to the most expensive free-agent contract in Seattle sports history, Harvin has played just 20 snaps for the Seahawks.

What I’ll settle for:

BY SETH KOLLOEN A Richard Sherman T-shirt. Sherman’s website sells T’s with his Greatest Trash-Talk Hits, including “You Mad Bro?” (deployed on Tom Brady) and “I’m Better at Life Than You” (deliver to ESPN’s Skip Bayless). They look pretty sharp!

Men’s T’s are $29.99 plus shipping; you can also buy women’s, kids’, and even a version for your trashtalking toddler.

SPORTSBALL

What I really want(ed): Eddie Johnson back with the Sounders. He was the team’s only consistent goal-scorer, but the club didn’t seem interested in a future with him—instead picking defensive-minded Osvaldo Alonso as one of their three high-paid “designated players.” This week the team up and traded Johnson to D.C. United—a move foretold by his absence from the team’s 2014 season-ticket marketing.

What I’ll settle for: That interesting new book about the Sounders. Former KJR-AM sports-talk host Mike “The Gasman” Gastineau interviewed all the major figures behind the Sounders’ move to the MLS for Sounders FC: Authentic Masterpiece: The Inside Story of the Best Franchise Launch in American Sports History. (See “The Gasman’s New Game,” SW, Oct. 23.) Reading it promises to be as close as any fan will get to the executive suite of a Seattle sports team— and apparently it’s full of interesting insights about the Seahawks as well.

What I really want: Competent executivelevel management for the Mariners. President

Chuck Armstrong’s recent retirement gives the Mariners a chance to bring in a strong new voice to revamp their disastrous baseball operations.

But considering that they haven’t made a decent hiring decision in a decade, I’m not optimistic.

What I’ll settle for: a Mariners Ticket Gift Pack. This is a really good deal: $50 gets you two field-level seats or four upper-deck seats to one of 69 home games (opening night and 11 other “premium” games are blocked out). Once you get the pack, you can pick your seats starting March 8—and you’ll have paid about half of the single-game price. I’m pretty sure good seats will be available all year. E

sportsball@seattleweekly.com

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SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEM BER 18 — 24, 2013

for unzipping and exposing. Far out, indeed.

In 2005, you were caught masturbating while looking into apartment windows. On the jail wall, you wrote “Love with no sex ain’t love.” In 2008, you exposed your penis to a woman on the street and said “I want to jump your bones.” Last year, you lay on the ground outside a coffee stand and masturbated while looking at the baristas inside. You told a cop that exposing yourself is “another way to communicate with a girl.”

We said you the man, Sam. That doesn’t mean drop your pants and prove it.

For that last act you got 18 months. Your attorney said you suffer from “severe” mentalhealth problems aggravated by chronic alcohol and drug abuse, including meth. After you got out in May, you repeatedly violated your community release by cutting off your GPS tracking device. You’re a registered sex offender. Now you face a long stretch for first-degree burglary, theft, and malicious mischief, all felonies.

Well hell, Sam. You gave us a good laugh.

Maybe a good cry would have been more appropriate. As much as we thought we knew you—as that smiling, rebellious pirate—we’re more likely to remember this indelible moment, described by the officer who booked you for the coffee-stand exposure: “After about 15 minutes in the cell, he started looking out of the jail cell window towards where the female holding cell is. He took his penis out of the zipper of his pants and began to masturbate.”

In the jail? On video? Cops watching? A burning image, Sam. You can pretty much forget about that statue in your likeness. E

A Sports Realist’s Wish List

11

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 18 — 24, 2013

RCTIC FREEZE

12

ON E FAMILY FARM ER HAS JOI N ED TH E SECO N D WAVE OF GMOS, C REATI NG AN APPLE THAT H E SAYS W I LL H ELP BOTH PEOPLE AN D P ROFITS. B UT W I LL TH E I N DUSTRY B UY IT?

BY N I NA SHAPIRO

O

ne winter, 14 years ago, a British Columbia farmer named Neal Carter took his family on vacation to the Middle East, where he had once lived while working as an agricultural engineer. A young woman was looking after his house, which sits on a plateau overlooking the mountains of Canada’s Okanagan Valley, a stunning part of the country much like Washington’s Lake Chelan region, known for its beaches on vast Okanagan Lake, a booming wine industry, and picturesque orchards.

The Carters owned 21 and a half acres of that land, descending from their home and occupied mostly by apple trees. While the family was in Jerusalem, they heard something was amiss.

“Neal, I don’t know what’s going on,” the young housesitter said to Carter by phone, “but there are TV cameras at the house this morning.”

The Carters soon found out that a group of activists opposed to genetically modified organisms had snuck onto the Carter orchard, tromping on snow as they went, and hacked into 652 apple trees.

This was 1999, right around the time of the World Trade Organization protests in Seattle, which intensified opposition to GMOs and a range of other activist causes. The hatchetwielding would-be revolutionaries who hit the Carter orchard apparently knew that the unassuming middle-aged farmer was in the process of developing a genetically engineered apple called the Arctic.

Not that they hit their target, exactly. Presaging the misdirected firebombing that would occur two years later at the University of Washington Center for Urban Horticulture, a strike also aimed at genetic engineering, Carter says the activists “didn’t know what they were doing at all.” The trees they hacked were conventional apple varieties, not genetically engineered ones.

And the damage they inflicted wasn’t lethal. The trees grew back.

Still, Carter was shaken. “Holy cow, we’ve got to be more cautious here,” he recalls think-

ing. He started insisting upon confidentiality among his staff, and to this day will not publicize the location of the greenhouse where he grows Arctic apples (his orchard is devoted only to conventional varieties). Nor will he disclose exactly where he maintains field trials in Washington and New York states.

Carter tells the story one bright late-October day, the sun only partially warming the nip that has already taken hold along the Canadian Cascades. A lean figure dressed in jeans, a flannel shirt, a cap, and sunglasses, the 56-year-old is sitting in a pickup truck watching an excavator pound poles for a deer fence. His 26-year-old son, Joel, who recently moved back home from Vancouver to help in the family business, is in the fields. Carter’s wife Louisa, a forester he met as a student at the University of British Columbia’s outdoor club, will soon call him in for a lunch of homegrown pumpkin soup.

Carter’s personal orchard is separate from his genetic-engineering operation, which goes under the name Okanagan Specialty Fruits. But that business is similarly small-scale and family-run, maintaining just seven staffers: Carter, his wife, a scientist, two lab technicians, and a communications and marketing team that maintains an active website.

It’s not the image you associate with GMOs, which are usually produced by huge, multinational corporations like Monsanto. Their presumed rapaciousness, and aggressive enforcement of plant patents, helps explain why biotech crops have become controversial enough to spark vandalism, firebombing, and, in a more civilized vein, the labeling initiative that Washington’s voters narrowly rejected in November.

Carter, an unabashed GMO advocate, does not criticize Monsanto. At the same time, he says, “We want to show people this can be done by a small company.”

Carter presents himself as a new breed of GMO producer. In the past, he observes in a video on the company’s website, GMOs have “been all about agronomic benefit and reducing costs for farmers.” The impact on farmers is perhaps debatable, with some praising the effi-

ciencies provided by genetically engineered crops and others chafing at the domination of biotech multinationals. There is no question, though, that such crops—now contained in an estimated 80 percent of all processed foods in the U.S. and generating a multibillion-dollar market—have proved lucrative for their producers. Yet Carter asserts that the Arctic apple will, in contrast, “offer something for everybody”—including, most importantly, consumers.

The Arctic’s signature trait is that its flesh does not brown when cut or bruised. In Carter’s view, the ability to slice an apple and have it stay white for hours (hence the name, evocative of white snow) is an important breakthrough, both for sliced-fruit purveyors and parents who put apples in their children’s lunches. He casts the Arctic as an enticement to healthier eating and a potential boon to the apple market, in the footsteps of “the baby-carrot model”: Just as the convenience of baby carrots made them a ubiquitous snack in a way regular old carrots never were, so sliced, nonbrowning apples could take off among the public and send apple sales soaring, Carter holds.

In a TED Talk last year, Carter put the Arctic in the context of a “second wave” of biotech crops, all of which he said would favor consumers. In particular, he pointed to developing GMOs with health benefits, such as the vitamin-enriched “Golden Rice” and the similarly fortified cassava that are in the works. Other genetically modified crops under research include calcium-enhanced lettuce; a purple tomato high in cancer-fighting antioxidants; and a potato low in a believed carcinogenic called acrylamide. By contrast, the 100 or so GMOs already approved by regulatory authorities—including numerous varieties of corn, soybeans, cotton, and sugar beets—are concentrated on herbicide and pest resistance.

But even as the Arctic gets closer to becoming the first new-wave GMO on the market—the U.S. Department of Agriculture released favorable assessments last month, and this week finished a second, final round of public comments—many GMO critics have made it clear

COURTESY OF OKANAGAN SPECIALTY FRUITS

Neal Carter’s Arctic apple won’t brown.

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 15

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Carter in his B.C. orchard.

» FROM PAGE 13 that they are just as hostile to this wave of biotech crops as they are to the first.

“Frankenapple: Bad news no matter how you slice it,” read the headline of an anti-Arctic article published in April by the Organic Consumers Association. Indeed, Lisa Archer, director of Friends of the Earth’s food and technology

Walking around his orchard with two dogs trailing him, Carter seems like a typical small farmer.

Some apples are still on the branches in October, even though harvest time is over. Carter blames a June hail that left holes in the McIntosh apples that droop from trees lining the long road that leads to his house, rendering the fruit unsellable.

He shares another bit of bad news: Some years back, a rotting disease hit the cherries that he also grows in small amounts. He spent $30,000 in labor costs to harvest the cherries, which looked fine on the trees. Less than an hour after being picked, their skins began to wither and slip off. He pulled up all his infected cherry trees and replanted Ambrosia apples.

“That’s the kind of decision you have to make, and make quickly,” he says.

When he turns to his biotech venture, though, Carter exhibits a side not so common among

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 16

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program, says that recent transgenic products like the Arctic apple have ignited a “whole new level of concern,” since most are intended to be eaten as a whole food. Older GMOs such as corn and soy are typically processed for their derivatives and mixed with a lot of other ingredients to create packaged and canned foods.

Undoubtedly the biggest blow, though, has come from a surprising source: Carter’s own peers in the apple industry. The U.S. Apple Association, the Northwest Horticultural Council, and the BC Fruit Grower’s Association have all urged regulatory authorities in the U.S. and Can-

ada to deny approval to the Arctic. In a letter to the USDA, the Northwest Horticultural Council compared the “threat of the Arctic apple” to “an invasive pest species.”

If the Yakima-based Horticultural Council is right, this threat is of particular concern to Washington, by far the largest apple-grower in the U.S., with 146,000 acres devoted to the fruit.

(New York, next in line, has only 42,000 applebearing acres.)

Whether this perceived threat comes from a small British Columbia farmer or a giant multinational makes no difference, according to Horticultural Council president Christian Schlect.

The modest size of Carter’s company “doesn’t cut any ice at all,” he says.

Yet the Council and other industry groups say they have no concerns about the safety of eating Arctic apples. From the standpoint of their members’ livelihood, they’re worried about something even more dangerous: public opinion.

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» FROM PAGE 15 farmers. He talks intently about DNA sequences, RNA coding, and polyphenol oxidase, or PPO—the enzyme responsible for browning in fruit. He’s up on research papers that have implications for his venture, whether they hail from Australia or China. He dismisses the few articles that provide fodder for GMO opponents as “junk science.”

It’s ironic that Carter, who grew up in Vancouver, originally didn’t even want to go to college. His parents persuaded him to try it, but he took an extended break after a year to bike and hitchhike through Europe and the Middle East.

In Egypt, he saw farmers getting the water they needed for their fields by scooping it from the Nile with a simple tool, “essentially a bucket on the end of a bamboo pole,” he recalls. It got him

His energy could also be seen in his entrepreneurial activity. From the beginning, Carter didn’t just run his orchard in Summerland. He started a wide-ranging business that offered international consulting, designed specialized farm equipment, and sold netting to farmers plagued by birds.

Then he turned his mind to biotech.

Summerland is distinguished by a major research center operated by the Canadian government that helps to develop new varieties of crops. In the mid-’90s, David Lane, a former researcher there, got a call from Carter.

The scientist and the fledgling farmer talked about a number of ideas, but one stood out. If you want to reduce food waste, Carter remembers Lane telling him, you should take a look at work being done in Australia on polyphenol oxidase, the browning enzyme. Government scientists there had found a way to turn off that enzyme in potatoes through transgenic means.

Carter was intrigued. When cut, “potatoes brown like crazy,” he says. He thought that was COURTESY OF OKANAGAN SPECIALTY FRUITS

Arctic apples remain white after an hour while conventional apples brown (left), but the genetically engineered variety do brown if rotten (right).

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thinking about a career that would bring modern tools and technology to developing countries. So when he returned to college, he decided to go into agricultural engineering.

After college and marrying Louisa, he spent a stint on an uncle’s farm. “We thought it was a pretty amazing life,” he says. He liked growing things and the idea of being his own boss. But he found opportunity elsewhere in AgroDev, a big agricultural-engineering firm that worked on projects all over the world.

Carter says he provided technical assistance to a 100,000-acre sorghum and sesame farm in Sudan that used “dryland” techniques to conserve moisture; worked on a crop-diversification project in Bangladesh; and helped build a number of farms in the Middle East. “I was back and forth to the Middle East 30 times before I moved there,” he says. He settled his family in Jordan, where he says he worked as AgroDev’s Middle East manager.

The expat life grew old, though. “You know, I think it’s time to build a farm for ourselves,” Carter says he told his wife. In 1995, they bought property in Summerland, one of the smaller towns in the Okanagan Valley.

Ron Vollo, an apple farmer already there, notes that Carter was “pretty green” when he started farming. He did not come from a farming family; Carter’s father was an electrical engineer.

But Vollo was impressed with the newcomer’s energy. As they became friends, Vollo learned that Carter had cycled competitively in college and afterward. From 1975 to 1986, Carter raced on teams run by the bike companies Bianchi and Miele. After a day of farming, Carter could often be seen biking around Summerland or taking a run. On vacations, he and his wife went on vigorous mountain-biking excursions through the American Southwest.

a problem for chip makers like FritoLay. So he hit upon the idea of developing a commercial variety of non-browning potatoes and licensing the rights to FritoLay. Although based in Summerland, he was still working as a consultant for AgroDev at the time, and the company was interested in the idea too, he says. Carter traveled to Australia to meet with scientists who had done the pioneering work.

Then, Carter says, AgroDev was bought and lost interest in transgenic potatoes. “So we decided to focus on tree fruits,” he says. As with potatoes, the plan revolved less around growing genetically engineered apples—although he plans to do that too on his orchard—than around licensing rights to other farmers.

It’s a model that has come under fire by critics of the way genetic engineering has turned crops into intellectual property. But Carter points to a field of conventional Ambrosia trees behind him, and says that he had to pay licensing fees to the apple’s inventors, B.C. orchardists Wilfrid and Sally Mennell—at a cost of $3,400 an acre. “It’s the world we live in,” he says.

There has been a dramatic emergence of new apple varieties in the past 20 years, as the primacy of the Red Delicious has waned and the public has clamored for sweeter, crisper, firmer fruit.

Many of these new varieties have been patented in accordance with the Plant Variety Protection Act of 1970, confirms Mark Seetin, director of regulatory and industry affairs for the U.S. Apple Association. He says there are some varieties, like the Pink Lady, that farmers can’t grow without belonging to a managed consortium that charges fees and monitors quality.

Carter maintains that the fees he will charge for the Arctic—$1,500 for an acre’s worth of trees—will be on the “low end.”

Having drawn up a plan, the farmer talked

to his grower friends to drum up support and investment. “Everyone was pretty enthusiastic,” recalls Vollo, who went in on the venture. “The public seems to like things easy,” he says, speaking of the potential he sees in non-browning sliced apples. He thinks they can create a market among people who don’t eat fresh apples.

Carter founded Okanagan Specialty Fruits and eventually attracted some 45 shareholders.

He also got financial and scientific support from the government research center in Summerland.

In fact, his company’s lab was housed within the center for a number of years.

The first challenge Carter faced was scientific.

It turned out that it was not as easy to silence the browning enzyme in apples as in potatoes.

The method used is called RNA interference, or RNAi for short. This is a technique different from the one used to create many transgenic crops, which are produced through the insertion of genetic material from other plant species, animals, or even viruses to produce desired traits.

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» CONTINUED ON PAGE 19

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Instead, RNAi works by inserting genetic material from the same plant species—apples, in the case of the Arctic. This material essentially “tricks” the plant into an immune response that occurs naturally when fighting off invaders or other stresses, according to John Steffens, a former Cornell scientist who pioneered research in this area. The inserted material generates RNA that is coded to attach to existing RNA in the plant—in the case of the Arctic, the RNA responsible for activating the browning enzyme.

The extra RNA tells the plant that something is wrong, so it degrades one of those RNA—the enzyme-activating one. So actually, in the Arctic, the browning enzyme is not so much turned off as never turned on.

The first time Carter’s lab tried the method on an apple, however, it didn’t work. He explains that in the potato, one dominant gene controls browning. Knock it out, and you knock out others that also activate PPO. But in the apple there are four crucial genes. He says it took his company three years to figure it out.

In 2001, he started growing the first Arctic apples in a greenhouse. Over the next decade, he branched out into field trials. “We had to do this slowly to preserve cash,” he says. While he won’t say exactly how much money he’s had at his disposal, he says he’s spent something “less than $10 million.”

He says he also needed time to “cultivate allies” and gather the test results needed to file for regulatory approval. As he did so, anti-GMO activism literally exploded.

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“Please leave real food alone. We don’t need genetically modified foods . . . period!”

“GMO foods and products, and refined and processed foods, are discouraged since they promote heart disease, diabetes, cancer and other chronic disease.”

These are a few of the 72,745 comments— including form letters circulated by Change. org and others—that flooded the USDA after September 2012 when the agency opened its first 60-day comment period on the Arctic apple petition for deregulation. While some comments were positive, most were not. Like those above, many expressed a distaste for all GMOs, which were portrayed as unnatural and dangerous.

Letters by the Northwest Horticultural Council and the U.S. Apple Association took the opposite tack. “We are not against GE research nor are we flatly against all GE agricultural products,” wrote Schlect from the Horticultural Council. “In fact, we strongly support continued genetics and genomic research.” The problem, he explained, was what he referred to as “marketing issues.” He asserted that those issues would affect not just the Arctic but “the entire United States apple industry.” The U.S. Apple Association’s letter argued the same.

“It’s a very emotional issue in a way that the soybean is not,” Schlect elaborates by phone from Yakima. The apple is not just another commodity, he says. It is “a representation of America”— healthy, wholesome, something you feed your kids. As Schlect and other industry figures see it, having a genetically modified apple on the market could change that image among a public skeptical of GMOs, even if the vast majority of apples remain conventional, regularly bred varieties. “I think there would be confusion,” he says.

Carter responds by saying that Arctic apples would be labeled as such: as “Arctic Golden” or “Arctic Granny Smith,” for instance, in the case of the Arctic varieties under regulatory review.

(He’s also developing Arctic varieties of the Gala and Fuji.)

But Schlect says consumers, and some retailers, would likely still wonder whether the apples for sale were genetically engineered. And that could make them stop buying all apples.

The kicker for Schlect is that he sees the

Arctic as unnecessary, particularly compared to other GMOs that could literally save an industry. He refers to the Florida citrus industry, which has faced devastating losses due to a fast-spreading disease called citrus greening.

Research into a disease-resistant orange is now underway. Should the apple industry face a threat like greening, Schlect says, he could see supporting similar research.

“The consensus is there is just not a demand for a non-browning apple,” adds Wendy Brannen, director of consumer health and public relations for the U.S. Apple Association. “There are other methods to prevent browning.” Many people squeeze lemon juice on apples, for instance, she says. In fact, sliced and packaged apples treated with a chemical found in lemons already exist on the market.

“Do you know how much lemons cost?” asks Herb Aldwinckle, a plant pathologist at Cornell University who is involved in the New York field trial of the Arctic. Not only can using lemons on apples be expensive for individual consumers, he says, but the commercial application of that technique could double the production cost of sliced apples.

John Rice—a seventh-generation Pennsylvania fruit farmer who is one of the largest apple producers on the East Coast—says he’s experimented a fair amount with chemically treated sliced apples, and found that some people detect an artificial taste. That’s one reason he feels— contrary to the official position of his industry— that the Arctic fills a need. He also says that he has to downgrade roughly 80,000 bushels a year due to bruising, costing him about half a million dollars. Goldens, he explains, are particularly susceptible to discoloration because their skins are so light, allowing any browning beneath to be seen clearly.

But that’s not the only reason he enthuses that “the door the Arctic apple opens is one with huge promise on the other side.” The Rice Fruit Company grows peaches as well as apples, and a dozen years ago the dreaded “plum pox virus,” which can affect all stone fruit, landed in the U.S. and hit his peach trees. Knowing that the virus could spread across the country to West Coast orchards, the USDA ordered his peach orchards quarantined and the trees

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» FROM PAGE 19 destroyed. “We lost 200 acres,” he says, reckoning the loss cost him $2 million.

He was interested in what the USDA did next: In collaboration with European colleagues, department scientists developed a virus-resistant genetically engineered plum. So Rice, receptive to the idea of GMOs, sought Carter when he started hearing about the development of Arctic apples. The Canadian farmer subsequently visited Rice at his Pennsylvania operation. As Rice recalls it, Carter cut an Arctic apple at the beginning of their meeting.

“We checked it an hour or so later,” Rice says.

The slices remained white. “Then we checked it the next day, and the day after that.” White, still.

Rice says he’s very interested in growing Arctics, should they get approval. “On the other hand, if nobody buys the apple because there’s a huge publicity campaign against it, we’d be taking a big risk,” he acknowledges. “It’s hard to know.”

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the defeat of Washington’s GMO labeling initiative, Friends of the Earth issued a press release.

“Companies invested in profits from GMOs might have bought Washington’s election,” the release said, alluding to the record-breaking $22 million in campaign contributions to the No side from Monsanto and other industry groups, “but they can’t stop the market from rejecting their products.”

The organization’s case in point: letters it shared from McDonald’s and Gerber baby-food parent corporation Nestlé saying that neither company had any plans to use Arctic apples.

Unlike statements from, say, PCC rejecting genetically engineered salmon currently under development, the short letters were boilerplate.

They did not rule out the possibility that the companies might use Arctic apples in the future once they were actually on the market. Carter says he’s met with McDonald’s representatives and apple growers that supply Gerber, and both have expressed interest.

Regardless, the environmental group used the occasion to reiterate its opposition to the Arctic and point to its fact sheet on the subject, which maintains that the Arctic is a source of concern for scientists too. For instance, the fact sheet says that scientists believe that “browning may play an important role in helping apples to fend off pests and disease.” A footnote links to a journal article by a plant physiologist at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem named Alfred Mayer, whose 2006 paper indeed notes that a “positive correlation” between levels of the browning enzyme and “resistance to pathogens and herbivores” has been “frequently observed.” What the Friends of the Earth fact sheet doesn’t mention is that the paper goes on to say that “convincing proof of a causal relationship, in most cases, still has not been published.” Mayer calls the function of the enzyme “elusive.”

Still, Friends of the Earth and other GMO critics theorize that this correlation may mean that apples in which the enzyme is silenced will require more pesticides. The Organic Consumers Association, in its article bearing the “Frankenapple” headline, goes so far as to assert that the fruit will be “drenched in toxic pesticide residues.”

“That’s complete crap,” says Carter. Both he and Aldwinckle say that more than 10 years of field trials have not turned up any increased susceptibility to pests or disease.

Archer, like other GMO critics, says she is not persuaded by company research, and would like to see independent studies. She also voices a concern that silencing the browning enzyme will mask rotting, thereby posing a danger to consumers who don’t know that the fruit they’re eating has gone bad.

Aldwinckle shares pictures of rotting Arctic apples taken in storage facilities in New York.

Big parts of the apples are wrinkled, squishy— and brown. The Cornell scientist explains that browning from rot stems from pathogens rather than PPO, so silencing the enzyme doesn’t stop that process.

The critics’ strongest argument against the Arctic is that RNAi is a relatively new method, not fully understood. They contend that it’s not just the targeted enzyme that could be affected, but unintended targets—maybe ones that aren’t even in the plants themselves, but in the animals and humans eating them.

“There are legitimate scientific questions,” says Michael Hansen, senior staff scientist of the Consumers Union and a prominent anti-GMO spokesperson. Even scientists at the USDA are raising them, he says. He points to a paper published in March that delves into the subject.

“The unique characteristics of RNAi and critical knowledge gaps preclude our ability to predict the ecological consequences of this new technology,” says the paper.

Lead author Jonathan Lundgren’s specialty is the study of insects; reached at his South Dakota office, he explains that what particularly troubles him is not a plant like the Arctic, but one in which RNAi is used to target genes in insects, thereby killing them. He acknowledges that “with every meal” we eat plants in which the natural form of RNAi has kicked in. “Obviously we’re not falling over dead,” he says. But RNAi used as an insecticide is specifically designed to overcome the self-defense mechanism of “higher-level organisms”—insects— that consume the altered plant, Lundgren reasons. And if it can do so with insects, maybe it could do so with humans. The Environmental Protection Agency, which weighs in on GMO approval when pesticides are involved, has scheduled a hearing in January to consider this very question.

What implications does this have for the Arctic? Even though his primary concern is insecticidal crops, Lundgren struggles with a response when asked if the apple concerns him.

“I don’t know. I don’t know,” he repeats. “That’s a very complicated question. I think we need to be sure . . . We have more questions than answers with this technology.”

In early November, the USDA’s Animal and

Plant Health Inspection Service released its assessments of the Arctic after three years of deliberations. In 100 pages of documents, the agency expressed much more certainty than Lundgren. Considering the question of unintended targets, the agency concluded that such an effect was unlikely. The apples, it said, “are not engineered for pest resistance, thus there are no ‘target’ species and thus no ‘nontarget’ species either.” The agency also reasoned that the inserted genetic material is so specifically coded that there is little chance of producing any other adverse effect.

The assessments countered other concerns, highlighted the apple’s good points, and indicated that it was on the verge of deregulation.

“Finally, it’s happening,” Carter enthuses a couple of weeks after the assessment came out.

“It’s been so long getting to where we are.” While

the regulatory process is often dismissed as cursory by critics, he contends “the due diligence is unbelievable,” and overseen by both the Food and Drug Administration as well as the USDA. Although GMOs do not need FDA approval, most are submitted for a voluntary consulting process. At one point, Carter says, the FDA asked him to discuss what would happen to a pig that ate 100 or so apples a day. His researchers delved into the scientific literature to justify their response that the pig would be fine.

When the FDA is through asking questions and considering the answers, it will send Carter a letter indicating its conclusions. As of press time, that has yet to happen. Nor has the Canadian Food Inspection Agency or Health Canada signed off on the Arctic. In fact, last month, the BC Fruit Growers Association wrote to Canada’s health and agriculture ministers asking for a suspension of the regulatory process and a moratorium on the Arctic.

The backlash from the agricultural community has been “a tremendous disappointment,” says Arctic investor Ron Vollo. It has frustrated Carter too, he adds.

The just-finished public-comment period in the U.S. has also sparked a new wave of negativity. “Americans deserve real food,” reads a typical comment among the thousands that poured in.

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But Carter, focusing on the positive USDA assessments, insists he is “awesomely excited.”

Speaking by phone from Utah, where he’s on a mountain-biking vacation, he says he’s looking forward to an industry convention the following week in Wenatchee. He plans to maintain a booth and meet with growers to argue his case.

“Our story isn’t a 10-minute story,” he says.

Part of his pitch will attempt to calm fears that the Arctic will overrun the apple market and provoke a consumer backlash. He tells growers that he intends to go slow—unlike the purveyors of GMO crops like soybeans and sugar beets, which in a few short years spread over millions of acres. His goal: 5,000 to 10,000 acres of Arctic apples in the next 10 years.

“We’ll be a very small flea on the side of the elephant,” he says.

He concedes he’ll never neutralize some detractors, including the Horticultural Council’s Schlect. But he’s had one-on-one meetings with members of the Council’s board—individual growers—and senses that they’re more open.

“I guess we’re going to let it play out and see what happens,” confirms board member Richard Thomason, who grows apples in Brewster.

“I equate this with the Y2K thing,” Carter muses, referring to the hysteria in some circles that computer problems emerging on January 1, 2000, would bring the world to a standstill: “Everybody was worried about it, and then it happened, and it’s a non-event.” With the Arctic in the final stages of deregulation, this is like the year 1999. When the clock turns and his apples hit the market, that’s all he wants—a non-event. E

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-THE INDEPENDENT (206) 625-1900 WWW.5THAVENUE.ORG GROUPS OF 10 OR MORE CALL 1-888-625-1418 2013/14 SEASON SPONSORS

ON 5TH AVENUE IN DOWNTOWN SEATTLE OFFICIAL AIRLINE

YOUR GUIDE FOR LAST-MINUTE GIFT IDEAS

– Brooklyn Benjestorf

PAGES 24 - 35

Produced by SW Ad Department

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEM BER 18 — 24, 2013

Uh oh! Did you putter around again and wait until the last possible moment to do your holiday shopping and now believe you might have to fight your fellow procrastinators in a ridiculously congested shopping mall or department store in order to snag something decent? Well, put down your dukes, Dilly-Dally, because Seattle Weekly is here with a procrastinator survival guide to get you through. If you take our advice, we’ll keep you in the frying pan but out of the fire as we direct you to unique and off-thebeaten-path shops and products allowing you to avoid the congestion of other frenzied shoppers and maintain your sanity. And better still, these gifts are so cool; no one will ever know how close you were to giving them an I.O.U. So without further delay, we bring you the final installment of our Gift Guide series, the Procrastinator Pages. Gift well!

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ANNUAL CLEARANCE SALE

Gifts for the person who has every thinG.

ON NOW THROUGH DECEMBER 24!

Keeping Seattle rolling since 1994.

We specialize in used and reconditioned bicycles + sell new bikes and a full array of both new and used bicycle parts and accessories!

Check out our partnership with Village Bicycle Project.

GREAT SELECTION AT BOTH LOCATIONS!

Bike Rentals • Buy • Sell • Trade • Consign

federal army & navy surplus

1007 NE Boat Street • (206) 547-4491 1109 N 35th Street • (206) 397-4286

“Seattle’s Used Bike Shop”

2112 First Avenue, Seattle, WA 98121 (206) 443-1818 www.gr8gear.com

recycledcycles.com

Capitol Hill

• Eat • Shop • Play

612 19th Ave E, Seattle, WA 98112 (206) 726-0767

hours m-f, 9-5 Moonjar.com Free shipping for November

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 18 — 24, 2013

1212 E Jefferson St Seattle 98122

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‘Tis the season to find things that make you feel good. clothing • gifts • jewelery 905 E Pike St • Seattle • 206-324-4092 www.indeedretailtherapy.com

425-270-8743 Tues-Sat 11am-9pm Sun 4pm-9pm

The best Jamaican food in Seattle PARTY & Banquet rooms COCKTAILS - 17 Beers on Tap FREE DELIVERY

GIFT Gift CERTIFICATES cards available for the holidays!

1401 E Madison St.

Since 1982

206.322.9411

piecoras.com

PROCRASTINATOR PAGES

Cashmere Circle Scarf Find reprieve from the holiday hustle by visiting E. Smith Mercantile – an alluring shop with apparel, dry goods, and much more in the front of the store, and a small craft cocktail bar in the back. So after you get your shopping out of the way, you can reward yourself with a nectarous refreshment.

E. Smith Mercantile 208 1st Ave S, Seattle, 206-641-7250 esmithmercantile.com $148

NOBODY LIKES TO LEAVE A PRESENT UNDER A BUSH.

Long Johns If you want to warm someone up this winter, outfit them with a pair of long johns from this company committed to supplying outstandingly durable apparel for all your outdoor needs. Filson’s high quality and super cozy clothing look good on the streets and protect from the harsh elements whether you’re in the city or in the wild.

Filson 1555 4th Ave S, 206-622-3147 filson.com $82 and up

SEATTLE

BELLTOWN

521 15TH AVENUE EAST

FREMONT206.726.8655 CAPITOL HILL

LATE NIG HT SPECIA L! $40 BRA ZILIANS DRINK O N US! CAPITOL HILL ONLY !

THURS. D EC. 1 7:30-9:3 9TH 0PM

KIRKLAND

25 CENTRAL WAY - SUITE 240

WEST SEATTLE KIRKLAND 425.739.7346

93 Wall Street 3516 Fremont Place N 521 15th Avenue East 4546 California Avenue SW 25 Central Way, Suite 240 Seattle, WA 98101 Seattle, WA 98103 Seattle, WA 98112 Seattle, WA 98116 Kirkland, WA 98033 PORTLAND 93 WALL STREET 206.267.2929 206.547.9227206.267.2929 206.726.8655 206.838.2929 425.739.7346 734 E. BURNSIDE 503.595.4974 BURNSIDE - 734 East Burnside, Portland, OR 97214 • 503.595.4974

WWW.WAXON.COM HOME OF THE BRAZILIAN

WWW.WAXON.COM WILLIAMS -

PORTLAND

3808 North Williams, Portland, OR 97227 • 503.517.9945

HOME OF THE BRAZILIAN

Honey Located on Capitol Hill, SugarPill is filled with delectable and refined products for home, body, and more importantly, belly. Their amazing selection of pantry goods, including salts, honey, herbs, and chocolate, make them the perfect pit stop for anyone on your list that loves to cook.

A Bow Tie Entirely devoted to men’s accessories, Hammer & Awl is a fabulous shop to get all the guys on your list crossed off in one fell swoop. No need to fight the onslaught of frenzied shoppers in a department store when this boutique carries so many elegant and handsome menswear brands.

Hammer & Awl 3315 E Pike St, 206-992-7444 hammerandawl.com $55 and up

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEM BER 18 — 24, 2013

SugarPill 900 E Pine St, 206-322-7455 sugarpillseattle.com $13.50 and up

25

PROCRASTINATOR PAGES

Wooden Puzzle

Seattle Neighborhood Map

Made from sturdy material meant to withstand even the clumsiest of kids, these puzzles are brainteasers that result in neat works of art when all is said and done. No glue is required to assemble, and once it’s all put together, the builder will be proud to display her handiwork.

Clean lines and a playful font make this map detailing the many Seattle neighborhoods an easy addition for any home, no matter the style. Made by Ork Posters and printed on recycled paper, give this to anyone with a love of typography and strong hometown pride.

3D Wood Puzzles Pike Place Market, Main Arcade, 206-625-1388 3dwoodpuzzles.com $45 and up

Queen Anne Avenue Arts 1621 Queen Anne Ave N 206-281-0054 avenuearts.com $22 and up

Fremont At the CENTER of the UNIVERSE Feeding the masses since 2011

Fremont

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 18 — 24, 2013

Wine & Whiskey Bar

26

Barrel-aged cocktails • Spirits flights Free party room • Weekend brunch

3516 Fremont Pl n | seattle 98103 206-588-2570 11am-2:30am every day

X-MAS SPECIALS!

SANTA

3417 Evanston Ave. N. (across from the Rocket)

206-402-5492 • bthief.com

Happy Hour

4-7pm Every Day

10am - 2pm Sat & Sun 11pm - 1am Fri & Sat

SHOPS HERE! HOURS: MON. -SAT. 10AM-10PM SUN. 11AM-7PM

315 N. 36TH ST. • SEATTLE, WA 98103 P: 206-675-0637 • PIECEOFMIND.NET

SANTA PICTURES WITH YOUR DOG!!

Wednesday, December 18th - 4pm $10 per photo A portion of the proceeds donated to PAWS!

206-547-1417 • 460 N 36th St in the Heart of Fremont

PROCRASTINATOR PAGES

Mary Makes Merry For Christmas music that’s as smooth and full bodied as a fine wine, go for Mary J. Blige’s more traditional take on holiday standards. The ninetime Grammy award winning singer throws her gloriously powerful voice into full force, and guest appearances from greats such as Barbra Streisand make this record an instant classic. Store locations in Northgate and Bellevue as well.

Silver Platters 2930 1st Ave S, 206-283-3472 silverplatters.com $11.99

Because we love your pet as much as you do!

Something Sparkly Recently relocated from their spot on Pine St., Le Frock’s new spacious storefront is packed with everything you need to find something fancy for New Year’s Eve. Furs and rhinestones, handbags and heels, the vintage and contemporary designer fashions from this boutique make a wonderful holiday treat.

114 North 36th Street Seattle, WA 98103

Le Frock 613 E Pike St, 206-623-5339 lefrockonline.com $25 and up

206.632.4567 M-F 10am - 9pm Sat 10am - 8pm Sun 11am - 6pm

24

Award-Winning Local Bourbon

21

Tatoosh makes their bourbon the same way as their family did over a hundred years ago--with love and care. This locally owned distillery puts added emphasis on seeking out the best ingredients that the Pacific Northwest has to offer and making use of our climate to craft a first-rate product. Check the website for purchase locations.

12

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16 FRANCIS ZERA

17 18

A Romantic Dinner

THE GOOD EATER BLOG

With a crazy delicious menu that earned Food and Wine’s Best New Chef award for co-owner Cormac Mahony, a gift certificate to Madison Park Conservatory is a brilliant gift in a pinch. This restaurant is more than a place to get fed–it’s an exploration of food and flavor.

Madison Park Conservatory 1927 43rd Ave E, 206-324-9701 madisonparkconservatory.com $100 and up for dinner for 2

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ADVENT Starting 12/1 Collect 12 stamps of the 24 offered & receive a $50 gift card for the New Year! Collect all 24 and receive a $100 gift card!

Calendar!

2332 2nd Ave Seattle, WA 98121 206.956.8423 @robroyseattle

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEM BER 18 — 24, 2013

Tatoosh Distillery available in most liquor stores tatooshdistillery.com $54 and up

20

27

PROCRASTINATOR PAGES

Moneybox

The gifts inside Seattle Art Museum’s gift shop are all handpicked for their uniqueness and beauty, making last minute shopping a breeze. With everything from coffee table books and prints to jewelry and home decor, there’s no need to resort to hectic mall shopping when SAM Shop has so many fantastic options.

A clever way to inject a little financial fluency into young children, Moonjar’s line of moneyboxes takes the concept of the piggy bank to the next level. Divided into three segments, and with a little guidance from a grown up, kids can learn to save, spend, and share by putting their allowance in the allocated sections.

Seattle Art Museum 1300 1st Ave, 206-343-1101 seattleartmuseum.org $20 and up

BENJAMIN BENSCHNEIDER

Prints and Objects

Moonjar 612 19th Ave E, 888-323-0001 moonjar.com $7.95 and up

BOOK YOUR HOLIDAY PARTY! INCLUDES

PRIVATE LOFT LOUNGE BAR

SMALL OR LARGE PARTIES WELCOME

Requests : info@ballardloft.com Additional Detail at www.ballardloft.com

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 18 — 24, 2013

Get Busy Livin’

28

5419 Ballard Ave nW seattle, WA 98107 206.783.0060

EVERYTHING FOR A NORDIC YULETIDE! GREAT GIFTS AND DECORATIONS PLUS GOURMET CUISINE

206-784-7020 // ScanSpecialties.com // 6719 15th Ave. NW

OLD-FASHIONED LUMBERYARD WITH OLD FASHIONED SERVICE SINCE 1930

2600 NW Market St • Seattle, WA 98107

(206) 782 3487

PROCRASTINATOR PAGES

Funking Kool For the first time in seven years, legendary funk band, Kool & the Gang, are putting out a record as a celebration of their upcoming 50th anniversary together. Their blend of originals and standards mixes up the vibe of what holiday music can be.

Best for boogieing down after a few mugs of nog.

Silver Platters 9560 1st Ave NE, 206-524-3472 silverplatters.com $13.99

Guitar Gear If you’ve got a guitar player on your gift list, Thunder Road has breathtakingly beautiful vintage and used equipment. This independently owned company has a showroom in West Seattle, open Tuesday Saturday 10a - 6p, and Monday by appointment.

Thunder Road Guitars 3916 California Ave SW 206-678-5248 thunderroadguitars.com $100 and up

GEAR UP HERE FOR

CHRISTMAS & NYE!

Locally Produced Whiskey

CHRISTMAS DECOR! CHRISTMAS TREES! NOVELTIES! SANTARCHY SUPPLIES! HOLIDAY ACCESSORIES!

Specializing in American single malt whiskey, SoDobased Westland Distillery seeks to stand out in a world historically dominated by the Scots. To do this, they’ve developed a stellar line that is unique and pleasing, utilizing the superior flavor that malted barley has to offer. Give a tour of their beautiful distillery along with a bottle.

That Perfect Gift Sponsored by American Express, this series of pop-up shops emphasizing small and local business has been running all month long out of Alki Arts Gallery at the Harbor Steps downtown. From Dec 18-23, the theme is “That Perfect Gift” making for a perfect place to pick something up just in the nick of time.

Shop Small Seattle at Alki Arts Gallery 55 University St, 206-432-9936 $20 and up

RESERVE YOUR BALLOONS BEFORE 12/22 AND GET AN ADDITIONAL 5% OFF! (TOTAL OF 15% DISCOUNT ON A DOZEN OR MORE BALLOONS!

124 DENNY WAY QUEEN ANNE 206-284-1980

WWW.CHAMPIONPARTY.COM FREE PARKING ON THE WEST SIDE OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEM BER 18 — 24, 2013

NEW YEAR’S EVE SUPPLIES! BALLOONS TOO!

Westland Distillery 2931 1st Ave S, 206-767-7250 westlanddistillery.com $40 and up

29

Give the Gift of COMFORT!

WANT TO WIN DVDS, CONCERT TICKETS & MORE?

CHECK OUT OUR FREE STUFF PAGE!

FOR MORE DETAILS, VISIT US AT: seattleweekly.com/promo/freestuff

THIS HOLIDAY SEASON, GIVE YOUR LOVED ONES EXPERIENCES AT ECA! Purchase tickets to 2013–2014 ECA Performances or ECA Gift Certificates through the ECA Box Office!

Call 425.275.9595 or stop by 410 Fourth Avenue North, Edmonds.

4303 University Wy NE Seattle 98105 • 206-632-3254 And remember we always validate parking for all UDPA parking lots

ec4arts.org | 425.275.9595 410FOURTHAVENUENORTH EDMONDSWA98020

The giftin’ is good in

PHINNEYWOOD A-1 PIANO

Caroling UNDER GARY’s

SALES RENTALS MOVING

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 18 — 24, 2013

Our rental rates start as low as

30

CANOPY 5-6 pm ! Saturday, December 21 7418 Greenwood Ave N

25

$

Phinney Neighborhood Community Chorus SINGS ON BEHALF OF THE

a month

S e a t t l e T im e s F u n d f o r t h e N e e d y and leads the singaloNg

f ir e p it a n d h o t c id e r courtesy of Ken’s Market

song sheets courtesy of THE Phinney Neighborhood Association

V O IC E S R A IS E D I N S O N G

COME IN TODAY

! IN TUNE AND OUT !

COURTESY OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD

to see how easy it is to have a piano in your home Showroom: 7020 Greenwood Ave. N. 206.783.7055

Piano Moving/Storage: 7000 Greenwood Ave. N. 206.782.4592

A-1PIANOS.COM Email: Info@a-1pianos.com

Join us on

Spinets • Consoles • Studios • Uprights • Grand Pianos

FUN, EDUCATIONAL & CREATIVE Seattle Weekly winner for Best Toy Store TOPTENTOYS.COM

!"#$%&'"$()*$

Greenwood: 124 N 85th St (206) 782-0098 •Downtown @ Pacific Place (206) 623-1370

PROCRASTINATOR PAGES

Local Wines The award-winning winemakers at Kirkland’s own Cedergreen Cellars are determined to bottle the essence of the earth and fruit that make up their bright and flavorful wines. Using a combination of New World techniques to develop a distinct taste, this is a gift that is both delectable and distinguished.

Also available at PCC and Leschi Market.

South Lake union

Pike and Western Wine Shop 1934 Pike Place, 206-441-1307 cedergreencellars.com $16 and up

breakfast • lunch • supper • brunch 1170 Republican St • 206.682.7632 RowhouSecafe.com

Accessories Located away from the downtown madness, this accessory boutique curates from a collection of artists creating striking and unique lines for men and women alike. If you’re looking for something sophisticated, a piece from this shop is certain to impress the lucky person on your list.

Hitchcock Madrona 1406 34th Ave, 206-838-7173 hitchcockmadrona.com $75 and up

1313 4th Avenue, Seattle, WA 98101 (206) 682-4430 www.indianblanket.com

HANDCRAFTED IN SEATTLE

Sun Liquor

Downtown Seattle • Ballard • Bellevue Square

Sun Liquor’s distilled products found their way into our hearts and into West Coast liquor stores almost immediately. We were already smitten with their lounge on Summit, but now we have booze handcrafted by these masters in mixology! Gift packs include minis of their flagship Hedge Trimmer Gin; their award-winning East European-style vodka, UNXLD, made from organic wheat; and their 100% Caribbean island cane based, Sun Rum Silver.

Tree house Getaway Give the gift of escape with a certificate to Treehouse Point, a woodland wonderland located just 30 minutes outside of Seattle. For a splurge, spring for a weekend stay, but if your budget is a little smaller, send them on a day trip for a tour, yoga classes, or a massage.

ADAM CROWLEY

Tree House Point 6922 Preston Fall-City Road SE Issaquah, 425-441-8087 treehousepoint.com $15 and up

www.KuKuRuZa.com

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEM BER 18 — 24, 2013

Sun Liquor Distillery 514 E Pike St, 206-720-1600 www.sunliquor.com $11

31

PROCRASTINATOR PAGES

Oh HO HO, Stop Me

Sports Jerseys

Piecing together anecdotes to weave the story of his progression from humble Manchester beginnings to worldwide icon, Morrissey has written his life’s story and given it an inexplicably simplistic title, Autobiography. At times cutting in that eloquently subtle way that one would expect from Morrissey’s pen, add this book to the shelf of your favorite Smiths fan.

We’re going to take you to a mall for this one but it’s worth it. With the Seahawks doing so well this season, even people who don’t usually care about football are looking to show their support, and what better way to help them get into the spirit than with a jersey donning their favorite player’s name? Champs Sports has it covered, with Limited Edition and Game Day styles.

Half Price Books 4709 Roosevelt Way NE 206-547-7859 hpb.com $15

Champs Sports Bellevue Square, 425-454-7222 champssports.com $99.99 and up

• Delicious artisan chocolate • Chocolate lotions and lip balms • Gift sets 425-243-2089

indichocolate.com

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 18 — 24, 2013

Find us down under in Pike Place Market

32

Pike Place Market EAT. SHOP. PLAY.

1902 Post Alley (in the Pike Place Market) • 206.634.0580

PROCRASTINATOR PAGES

Vintage Winterwear

Directed by Drew DeNicola, this critically acclaimed film does an incredible job of investigating a group that never really made it, yet influenced some of the biggest names in the business. Nothing Can Hurt Me is a heartwarming story of triumph, documenting the brief career of an obscure band that made an impact despite their lack of commercial success.

A consignment shop located in the Madrona neighborhood, Driftwood Boutique has chic women’s apparel for bundling up throughout the winter season. From fur-collared coats to dainty vintage gloves, you’re sure to find something stylish to help a lovely lady stay warm.

Driftwood Boutique 1130 34th Ave, 206-941-6828 driftwoodboutique.com $20 and up

Scarecrow 5030 Roosevelt Way NE 206-524-8554 scarecrow.com $23.95

BRANDON SCOTT HERRELL & EMILY BOGEN

Big Star Documentary

Photo: Geo Rittenmyer, georittenmyer.com

Photo: Adam Thornhill

Thank You for Shopping Local This Holiday!

Melissa Maffei & Melissa Van Flandern

Spenser, Marc & Jen

Scarecrow Video

tottini

Tall Grass Bakery

5907 24th Ave NW · Ballard · 706-0991 · tallgrassbakery.com

Photo: Alex Garland, alexgarlandphotography.com

Amanda, Felipe, Anna, Renee, Crystal, Kelly

259 Yale Ave N · South Lake Union · 254.0400 · tottini.com

Dan, Erin, Murphy Family & Loft Staff

Ballard Loft

5105 Ballard Ave NW · Ballard · 420-2737 · ballardloft.com

Thanks to our excellent sponsors!

Find these and other great local businesses at thinklocalseattle.org

THINK LOCAL is a program of:

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEM BER 18 — 24, 2013

Photo: Vagabond Digital Imaging, vagabonddi.com

5030 Roosevelt Way NE · University District · 524-8554 · scarecrow.com

33

Holiday

Film Guide Coming 12/26

Local Insurance Professionals with National Brokerage Power

Check out

clementines.com for

Daily Deals starting

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 18 — 24, 2013

Dec. 1st!

34

6055 California Ave SW Seattle, WA 98136 • (206) 932-2500 www.nwinsgroup.com

4447 California Ave SW • Seattle, WA 98116

206.935.9400

PROCRASTINATOR PAGES

Votive Candle Holders Made in their hot shop in Madrona, Glassybaby votives are a kind-hearted way to give a tangible gift that doubles as a charitable donation. Founded by a woman who has triumphed over cancer three times, the company donates massive amounts of money to organizations that are in the business of healing. Also in University District and Bellevue.

Glassybaby 3406 E Union St, 206-518-9071 glassybaby.com $44 and up

A Vide Poche This downtown gallery and gift shop has all sorts of little things to help you knock a ton of people off your list. These little sundries trays, made for setting small objects upon such as keys and jewelry, are made of high quality porcelain and painted with pretty decorative designs.

Far 4 1020 1st Ave, 206-621-8831 far4.net $49.50

JD Salinger Bio Interviewing more that 200 people in order to get the scoop on this elusive and celebrated author, David Shields and Shane Salerno finally uncover the truth about JD Salinger’s life in their new oral biography, Salinger. Bringing with it the intensity of a great mystery, Salinger’s private world is slowly revealed, making it a wonderful story for any bibliophile.

Meant to be enjoyed Made from a 100 year old family recipe Three generations of distilling passion Northwest born & bred

tatooshdistillery.com

Because, Why Not? For something totally out of left field, 90’s SoCal punk rock group, Bad Religion, just put out a freaking Christmas record of all things. Why the hell not, right? For the rebel on your list with a good sense of humor, get them a copy of this odd and awesome holiday record.

Easy Street 4559 California Ave SW 206-938-3279 easystreetonline.com $9.99

AWARD WINNING BOURBON

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEM BER 18 — 24, 2013

Elliott Bay Book Company 1521 10th Ave, 206-624-6600 elliottbaybook.com $37.50

35

fresh fresh

dungeness crab We Ship We Ship WeSeafood Ship Seafood Overnight Seafood Overnight Overnight Anywhere in theAnywhere USAin the Anywhere USA in the USA or We Pack for or WeAir PackTravel for or We Pack for Air Travel Air Travel

University University University Seafood & Poultry Seafood & Poultry Seafood &NEPoultry 1317 NE 47th,1317 Seattle 47th, Seattle (206) 632-3700 or (206)632-3900 1317(206) NE 47th, Seattle 632-3700 or (206)632-3900

Juicy BBQ and all the sweet and savory fixins!

Brisket, Jerk Chicken, Baby Back Ribs, Hot Links, Mac & Cheese, Collard Greens, Willie’s Beans, Yams, Cornbread, Pies and Cakes

(206) 632-3700 or (206) 632-3900

Also featuring daily Soul Food specials: Catfish, Oxtail, Porkchops, Chitlins and more!

3427 Rainier Ave S. • Seattle WA 98144 •(206) 722-3229

www.williestasteofsoulseattle.com

NOW FEATURING HEAVEN SENT FRIED CHICKEN!

filtering the best of

THE NORTHWEST! is on instagram.com

Winter Happy Hours Daily 4pm - Close 7 Days a Week

2 Courses for $20 at Cafe Ponti

Located on the Ship Canal near the Fremont Bridge 3014 3RD AVE N SEATTLE | 206-284-3000 | www.pontigrill.com

BEERS

VEGETARIAN

ON DRAFT

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 18 — 24, 2013

KEGS TO GO

36

beers on draft

Breakfast

All Day

HAZELNUT CRANBERRY ROAST · En Croute ·

Made exclusively for the holidays - a rich, hazelnut-infused vegetarian grain meat stuffed with Field Roast sausages, crystallized ginger, cranberries and apples - wrapped in a savory puff pastry. Our Hazelnut Cranberry Roast HAZELNUT CRANBERRY ROAST 60115En Croute is the centerpiece to any holiday meal.

Made in Seattle, est. 1997 Retail Box

ITEM NO.

Holi

download our app (206) 267-BIER (2437) 400 N. 35th St. Seattle, WA 98103 www.brouwerscafe.com

(206) 633-BIER 267-BIER (2437) 1710 N. 45th St. #3 Seattle, WA 98103 www.bottleworks.com

(206) 420-8943 2253 N 56th St. Seattle, WA 98103 www.burgundianbar.com

Made ex for

Available in select grocery freezers where Field Roast products are sold

800.311.9497 WWW.FIELDROAST.COM

HAZELNUT CRANBERRY ROAST EN CROUTE

Made exclusively for the holidays - a rich, hazelnut-infused vegetarian grain meat s sausages, crystallized ginger, cranberries and apples - wrapped in a savory puff pa

food&drink Perfectly Petit

As his new restaurant attests, chef Derek Ronspies has more than just a pig up his sleeve.

BY SARA BILLUPS

BY NICOLE SPRINKLE

T

Ronspies in his cozy kitchen at Le Petit Cochon.

With a kitchen crew that includes Top Chef New Orleans contestant Carrie Mashaney, Jason Stratton’s (Spinasse, Artusi) modern Spanish restaurant Aragona is now open. The menu features mains, desserts, and bar eats like chicory salad with white beans and tuna and tortillas with Jerusalem artichokes.

Revel and Joule dynamic duo Rachel Yang and Seif Chirchi are setting their sights on a new restaurant in the Greenus Building at Pike Street and Summit Avenue on Capitol Hill. A business license for a 4,000-squarefoot eatery (to be named) has been registered to Yang.

Whatever it’s called, it’s going to be good.

TIFFANY RAN / LE PETIT COCHON

A stone’s throw from Woodland Park Zoo, Phinney Market Pub & Eatery is serving free hot chocolate to dinner guests who visit WildLights, the zoo’s holiday lights festival (through Jan. 4). Present a same-day ticket to redeem the offer.

Kudos for giving us several large slabs of this provocatively musty cheese and fanciful accompaniments, but we really need more than two tiny crackers as a vehicle to get it all in our mouths.

NICOLE SPRINKLE

Moving on to “Supper,” i.e., entrées. Our

Celeriac soup with a chickpea fritter and vadouvan cream.

mushrooms. It was, to my taste, a perfect dish.

A staple starter, the housemade blood & foie is not for the faint-hearted, but it too delivers in almost all the right ways. Full disclaimer: My experience with blood sausages had been limited to a couple hole-in-the-wall joints near Shea Stadium back in New York, where my Colombian husband would often order and relish them during Mets games. Not my thing. But determined to taste what our friendly waitress claimed was one of their signature dishes, I went forth. The square of foie is sublime, in that decadent, slippery, saltysweet way that only bloated duck liver can be. Two large blood sausages are as deeply flavored as they are colored (nearly black)—smoky and redolent of clove. These fatty, flavorful meats lie atop a pecan “Nutella” that is nowhere near as cloyingly sweet as actual Nutella, and small crispy bites of delicata squash and parsnip chips bring desirable crunch.

My only beef with this dish: It could use some crusty bread on the side. That much spreadable richness needs it.

Same goes for the snack of Kurtwood Farms’ Loghouse Tomme cheese with red wine redux, membrillo (a quince marmalade), and a tasty mirepoix of parsnips, onions, and duck cracklin’s.

duck breast was cooked excellently; the herbed risotto it’s served with is spot-on, something that anyone who’s ever tried to cook risotto at home knows is tough to pull off. It’s creamy without being too watery, the rice itself just al dente. Where the dish goes astray, however, is in Ronspies’ desire to get a lot of tastes onto a plate, something that happens in more than just one dish, and that also seems to be a trend—often not executed well—at many sophisticated restaurants in Seattle. Thing is: The red-wine demi and fig jam don’t make any sense with the duckgizzard ragù served inside a cabbage and flavored with quatre épices, a pungent Middle Eastern spice mix that has a distinctive taste of pumpkin pie (read: clove, nutmeg, ginger). Don’t get me wrong—the ragù was right-on, as was the duck.

But they belong on different plates.

Ditto their Olsen Farms “Phat Ass” pork chop—though let me first point out that this seriously large chop, which so easily could have been overcooked, was refreshingly moist and juicy. One of my fellow diners declared it the best pork chop he’d ever eaten. These small criticisms, therefore, should be read with that in mind. I loved the way they served it, on its own cutting board. (How else should a “Phat Ass” chop come?) Beneath it, grits as good as my mama makes. But, again, while the pork and the kohlrabi slaw (swoon) on top is seasoned with Indian flavors like coriander, the smears of pear butter and dark, grainy mustard on the side don’t complement it. In fact, the mustard

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 38

Ballard’s La Carta de Oaxaca turns 10 this month.

To celebrate, the beloved Mexican restaurant is offering an all-day happy hour all week through Saturday, Dec. 21. And although it’s usually closed Sundays, La Carta will serve brunch and dinner this Sunday, Dec. 22. Also, sibling eatery Mezcaleria Oaxaca will launch its 3,000-square-foot Capitol Hill location at the beginning of 2014—stay tuned for details.

Agrodolce, Maria Hines’ Sicilian/Southern spot, hosts a first-anniversary spaghetti dinner this Saturday, Dec. 21. The four-course menu includes fresh focaccia and pasta made with house-milled flour.

Reservations ($60 per person) can be made at agrodolcerestaurant.net or 547-9707. E food@seattleweekly.com

Temperature Check FROM WAYNE JOHNSON, SERVER AT GRUB

Gluten-free breads and pastas: I’m seeing more alternatives for celiacs and self-proclaimed gluten allergies.

Garnishes: If your food doesn’t already look good, some parsley, microgreens, or balsamic reduction isn’t going to make it more appetizing.

Bacon. Everything is bacon-wrapped, -topped, -filled, -flavored, garnished with . . . Sorry bacon, you’re not that hip anymore.

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEM BER 18 — 24, 2013

he last two times I ate at Le Petit Cochon, the small Fremont restaurant was noticeably quiet. Granted, those were some of our coldest nights. Yet considering that chef Derek Ronspies is the brother of the well-regarded Art of the Table’s Dustin Ronspies and honed his cheffing chops alongside him, I expected a crowd.

The lack of one is unfortunate because the meals I’ve had there are some of the best I’ve eaten this fall. I have a theory about why the restaurant, which opened in October, isn’t yet drawing a huge clientele. But first, the food.

Like Art of the Table, Le Petit Cochon does indeed have an adventurous menu (changing weekly, even daily), with items like pig-face fritter, duck feet, blood sausage and pig-snout hash. But there’s far more happening on this menu—and on the plates—than the “throwaway” parts of an animal that may make some squeamish.

When I set out to review LPC, admittedly I wasn’t excited. My mother comes from the poor South, where eating things like brains and gizzards weren’t considered exotic, but simply what one could afford. Growing up, I’d often see her eating what have since become newfangled delicacies and wonder: Why? A year in Asia also brought my palate up close and personal with parts of animals’ bodies I’d never imagined eating.

Suffice it to say that while I do find some of these meats appealing, I also find them limiting. But that doesn’t matter, because Ronspies’ wheelhouse is vast, in terms of the ingredients he serves as well as the range of spices he uses and preparations he’s refined. He may like to be known as the offal guy, but he works just as much magic with vegetables and herbs.

A starter of creamy celeriac soup comes topped with a chickpea fritter with a silky-smooth inside, served with a small dollop of cream laced with vadouvan (a masala spice blend with a French twist of shallots and garlic), which brings a wonderful, surprising burst of Indian flavor. To ease the unctuousness of a cream soup, Ronspies smartly lays it atop a Brussels-sprout slaw. A touch of chili oil heightens the array of flavors, which includes a fine almond finish.

Another knock-it-out-of-the-kitchen dish is the meatball dashi: Three incredibly flavorful, chunky meatballs float in a fragrant matsutake broth. Having foraged for matsutakes just last month on a secret Whidbey Island locale with chef Shane Ryan from Matt’s at the Market—and thus hyper-aware of their telltale odor and taste, which the field guide Mushrooms Demystified calls “a provocative compromise between Red Hots and dirty socks”—I was elated when that first spoonful flooded my senses with the complexity of that particular fungi. Ronspies captures the essence of matsutake so purely. A crispy rice cake is a clever cohort in texture, and whole baby turnips lend a subtle bite that helps to cleanse the palate amid such powerful flavors from the pork and the

FoodNews

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against the Eastern flavors was actually unappetizing. Pork and mustard are great companions. Pork and Indian flavors are too. But pick one, please.

Still, I kind of love the abandon Ronspies is working under. While that abandon sometimes gets reckless, more often than not it’s exciting and interesting. Seared scallops with a squash purée, parsley root, treviso (similar to radicchio), a truffle vinaigrette, and Lemon Frito come together admirably. Vinaigrettes—from red grape to black bean—are something Ronspies employs often, and help brighten and balance fats. A dish of foraged mushrooms (hedgehogs, maitakes, black trumpets, and king oysters), for instance, gets a blast of a pine-nut vin—the pine-nut flavor similar to the nuttiness of the mushrooms, yet astringent enough to bring them out of the woods, so to speak. A self-proclaimed dessert snob, I actually loved their Not Your Mama’s Apple Pie, which consists of apple fritters with a true velvety interior (rather than just overly fried dough), served with a tart apple consommé, chunks of cooked apple, and maple-parsnip ice cream with caramel.

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This Shot Is on Fire

M PR OM O T IONS

ost of the time, this column weighs in on the more elevated and refined forms of alcoholic drinks: fine wines, crafted cocktails, good beer. However, there’s a hidden underside to bar culture that I can no longer ignore: shots. The lifeblood of many a bar, they can be extremely lucrative for the brand that happens to become the “in” shot. For years that shot was Jägermeister, but more recently Fireball has stolen the crown. Who knows how long its reign will last, but undoubtedly there are already pretenders to the

BY ZACH GEBALLE throne plotting and scheming.

Unlike the majority of drinks ordered at a bar, ordering a shot is unambiguous: You’re trying to get drunk quickly. Whether you prefer ridiculously named, questionable-tasting shots (“duck fart,” “liquid cocaine,” “red-headed slut”), drop-shots (like Irish Car Bombs), or more old-fashioned shots (tequila or whiskey), the purpose is to infuse plenty of alcohol into your bloodstream in one, well, shot. However, each of these types has its drawbacks: Mixed shots mean waiting for the bartender to assemble them; drop shots are messy, especially once you’ve had a few; and tequila and/or whiskey are often too strong for some drinkers.

Enter the “brand” shot from a single-bottle liquor. It started with Jägermeister, which managed to seem extremely manly (jägermeister is German for “master of hunting”) while being surprisingly sweet and drinkable. It’s high enough in alcohol (70 proof ) to do the trick while appearing cool and exotic. Ordering a shot of Jäger, at least initially, made you seem worldly. Then they started putting Jägerdispensing machines in bars, and the appeal wore off.

It was fascinating to hear from some of my bartender friends about how rarely they pour Jägermeister anymore. As one of them put it: “Ordering Jäger is like ordering a Sex on the Beach—it just makes you seem out of touch.” In most bars, shots already elicit a bit of an eye-roll from the bartender, so staying current is all the more vital for those hoping to appear hip.

Fireball was ready and willing to take over.

Basically a sweetened, cinnamon-infused whiskey, it came even closer to the Platonic ideal of a brand shot. You feel like you’re ordering a real drink (because it’s whiskey!), but the sweetness and cinnamon flavor appease those for whom a shot of straight whiskey would be too much. At 66 proof, it’s less alcoholic than true whiskeys, but even that’s a plus, as it probably encourages drinkers to order another to get a bigger buzz.

It seems inevitable that Fireball too will lose its luster at some point. If I could tell you what the next “in” shot would be, I would be a wealthy man—but it wouldn’t surprise me to see a flavored and sweetened tequila-based spirit take over, at least for a while. It could appeal to both genders, and work with a diverse range of flavors . . . even cinnamon . . . hmm, maybe it’s time to test a new infusion. E

THEBARCODE

A R T S A ND ENT ER TA INM ENT

The interior aims for that same vibe. The

space is minimalist but has warm accents—light wooden framed windows with simple white cotton curtains tied back; old, colorful mirror frames hanging from the ceiling; a small, exposed kitchen in the back that feels less like the popular open kitchen as a bold focal point and more like your friend’s cozy one. The music is fun and varied (Pink Floyd, Bowie, Pink Martini), and played loud enough to feel hip, but without drowning out your conversation. What’s a little off-putting is the extremely long-ish nature of the space. There are only a few tables in the area near the kitchen and adjacent to the bar, while the majority are, instead, near the door and feel a little distant and removed from the warmth and chatter—though perhaps with more diners filling those tables, that area too will come to life.

Back to my hunch on why the restaurant isn’t full. Its location, though in the heart of Fremont, is elevated above the street, with an inconspicuous entrance on the side off Fremont Avenue. Also, the restaurant’s name (translation: The Little Pig), the website’s name (Gettin Piggy), and Derek’s claim to be the “local authority on All Things Offal” is perhaps too much focus on branding around a trend that’s getting played out: the preoccupation with all things pork.

And then there are the price points. With most trendy places trying to stay beneath $20 on entrées, in the $12–$13 range on appetizers, $8–$10 on cocktails, and under $10 on desserts, Le Petit Cochon is perhaps dangerously pushing those boundaries. Most of the entrée portions are at $20, starters are typically $14 and up, cocktails $11, and desserts $10. True, the portions are generous (bucking the small-plate trend) and the cocktail pours strong, but whether or not that extra $1–$2 will turn diners away remains to be seen. Based on my experiences, it won’t keep me from coming back. E

nsprinkle@seattleweekly.com

LE PETIT COCHON 701 N. 36th St., Suite 200, 829-8943, gettinpiggy.com. 5–10 p.m. Tues.–Thurs., 5 p.m.–midnight Fri.–Sat.

thebarcode@seattleweekly.com

arts&culture

A Very Netflix Xmas

ThisWeek’s PickList

Not eager to stand in line for the big Christmas movies?

There’s plenty of holiday comfort video to be had at home.

BY BRIAN MILLER

New York City to wonder and generosity. (Elf also runs at Central Cinema Friday–Monday.)

These are Christmas movies at war with cynicism, as is that 1983 favorite from the VHS era—probably stored in the attic of your childhood home—A Christmas Story, which insists that Ralphie’s lust for a BB gun can convert his family and entire town to holiday benevolence.

Eve gathering of Judy Davis and Kevin Spacey, both locked in the terminal stages of a toxic marriage. This is the Christmas horror of family dinners. For Tim Burton horror, PG-rated, we love the 1993 stop-motion animated tale The Nightmare Before Christmas. And for berserk Finnish holiday horror and monster-hunting in the snow, you can’t beat 2010’s Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale, which has already become a bona fide cult movie.

Dark Christmas Comedies Christmas is the ulti-

mate affront to cynics and misers; it’s the perfect comic obstacle for a conversion story (see A Christmas Carol, filmed dozens of times in various flavors, including Smurf ). Bill Murray plays

Musicals and Sing-Alongs Jews write all the best Christmas songs, as demonstrated

by Irving Berlin’s “White Christmas,” first introduced on film in Holiday Inn (1942) but better served by 1954’s White Christmas, in which Bing Crosby delivers the title tune.

Then there’s Judy Garland performing “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” in the nostalgia-steeped Meet Me in St. Louis (1944), set during the holidays and superbly directed

by Vincente Minnelli.

And here’s one for family: Remember The Muppet Christmas Carol from 1992? It’s a musical, with songs by Paul Williams, and the tunes are surprisingly catchy.

Graham likes her Santa (Thornton) naughty in Bad Santa.

COLUMBIA PICTURS/DIMENSION FILMS

Seasonal Schmaltz It’s a Wonderful Life inevitably tops this category, and Frank Capra’s 1946 tale of yuletide redemption is also playing for the 43rd consecutive year at the Grand Illusion. One reason the end of the film still packs a wallop is the darkness of the despair felt by suicidal banker George Bailey ( James Stewart) after seeing his beloved Bedford Falls turned into the foul hellhole Pottersville in his absence. Bankruptcy and war haunt this movie, two reasons it’s still timely.

Miracle on 34th Street (1947) is a product of the same postwar era, which strives mightily to restore good cheer—and the enchantment of Santa Claus–disbelieving little Natalie Wood—when the real Kris Kringle shows up to sub for a drunken Santa-for-hire at Macy’s.

More recently, Will Ferrell’s overgrown Elf is no less aggressive in reconverting a hostile

the sour Dickensian villain in 1988’s Scrooged, here a sarcastic TV executive who gets his comeuppance from Carol Kane and other ghosts.

It’s not quite a classic, but I always thought it was a dry run for Groundhog Day. Chevy Chase effectively smirks and stumbles his way through National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989), which proved a much bigger hit than Scrooged— in part because the John Hughes script goes easier on the holidays and oafish family members, and in part because Chase doesn’t commit to the darkness so much as Murray.

Investing fully in his anti-Christmas character is Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa, the 2003 neo-classic revived almost every year. His rascal despises the holiday and its accoutrements, except when the costume helps him get laid. (Cue Lauren Graham’s famous “Fuck me, Santa!” scene in the car.) According to Thornton, a sequel will be filmed next year; we’ll believe it when we see it.

Not quite so inky but full of delicious bickering is The Ref (1994), in which burglar Denis Leary is caught at the acrimonious Christmas

know about Die Hard and Die Hard 2, but the 1969 James Bond film On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is substantially set in snowy Switzerland during the holidays. Blofeld (Telly Savalas) invites 007 (George Lazenby) to a Christmas gathering; there’s talk of a germ-warfare scheme involving beautiful women (of course) to deliver “Christmas presents” that would threaten the world food supply; and then there’s lots of skiing and tobogganing in the snow.

Oddities, Rarities, Slasher Flicks, and Porn The bottom of the yuletide barrel is surely 1964’s Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, an inept sci-fi B-movie featuring a young Pia Zadora.

Or so you would think. There’s actually a dank, blood-soaked cellar beneath that barrel, including the likes of 1974’s Black Christmas (aka Silent Night, Evil Night), in which sorority sisters are menaced by an unseen killer during winter break, and 1984’s Silent Night, Deadly Night, in which a boy watches Santa kill his father and rape his mother, then grows up to be a Santa-dressed serial killer (essentially the same plot as 1980’s Christmas Evil, aka You Better Watch Out). In this blood-and-snow Christmas subgenre (see also: Silent Night, Bloody Night; Jack Frost; and Santa’s Slay), the old notion of going postal becomes going Santa.

And Christmas porn—who knew that was a thing? But it is: Google it, or even try Tumblr.

Maybe that’s the reason that sales of Santa hats and red stockings go up during the holidays. E

bmiller@seattleweekly.com

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 18

Langdon Cook

If you look up The Mushroom Hunters: On the Trail of an Underground America (Ballantine, $26) on Amazon, you’ll see its sales ranking is #1 in the subcategory of Mushrooms (Biological Sciences), #18 in Food Science (Agricultural Sciences), and #20 in Natural Food (Cookbooks). It’s also #6 on Amazon editors’ “2013 Best Books of the Year: Sports and Outdoors” list. It’s the specificity of those categories that explains this book’s success. Previously the author of Fat of the Land: Adventures of a 21st Century Forager, Cook writes equally well about the natural world, the culinary world, and the people at the crossroads of both. As he transitions from recreational fungus picker to commercial harvester, he’s as at home mediating on the otherworldliness of an ancient forest as he is cooking a pan-seared game hen with black truffle gravy or tagging along on an illegal mushroom haul. Here are the stories of nomadic mushroom traffickers—buyers, pickers, sellers—whose members include former loggers, drug dealers, and Southeast Asian immigrants.

All are looking to cash in on the $40 million U.S. market that caters to our craze for foraged foods. Besides Cook himself, other Seattleites like Jeremy Faber (of Foraged and Found Edibles), Christina Choi (the former owner of Nettletown who died in 2011), and chef Matt Dillon make appearances in this fascinating, in-depth look at the subculture of foragers and their quest for the elusive, beguiling wild mushroom. University Book Store, 4326 University

Way N.E., 634-3400, bookstore.washington.edu.

Free. 7 p.m. NICOLE SPRINKLE

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEM BER 18 — 24, 2013

stocked fridge, there’s no reason to leave the house from Christmas Eve through New Year’s Day. Here’s what you should watch, organized by theme.

I Didn’t Know That Was a Christmas Movie You

Cook fries his fungus finds.

LANGDONCOOK.COM

F

or better and worse, the holidays mean holiday movies. But what if the crowds, overpriced snacks, parking hassles, and 3-D-ification of the multiplex don’t appeal to you? Sometimes it’s nicer to stay home in your pajamas, curled up on the couch with the dog and some microwave popcorn, TV remote in hand. Thanks to streaming, Amazon, Netflix, DVD, and even old VHS tapes lovingly preserved at Scarecrow, it’s never been easier to binge-watch old holiday classics—and clunkers—at home.

The challenge is how to program your yuletide marathon. Curated correctly, with a well-

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 40 39

Starring Jerick Hoffer aka Jinkx Monsoon

arts&culture» Pick List » FROM PAGE 39 Falstaff

There are a few local connections in the cast for the Metropolitan Opera’s Falstaff, its latest movie-theater HD broadcast: Centralia’s own Angela Meade sings the female lead, Alice Ford (remember, in Italian it’s pronounced “ah-LEEchay”); and Seattle Opera-goers of course recall Stephanie Blythe, the Met’s Dame Quickly, as McCaw Hall’s Fricka, Amneris, Carmen, and more. (She also sang Quickly here in 2010, revealing a sly, shrewd wit that those heavier roles don’t much call for.) Robert Carsen’s production, scenically updated to the ’50s, looks hilarious; Ambrogio Maestri as Falstaff seduces Meade in a kandy-kolored June Cleaver dream kitchen. This production also marks conductor James Levine’s return to the pit after a year off for health reasons.

It makes sense he’d choose Verdi’s 1892 comedy for this occasion; nothing could be more spiritually healing than the generous warmth of Falstaff ’s final ensemble. “All the world’s a joke/Man is born a fool” runs the Shakespearian moral that caps the opera and Verdi’s career, an audience-embracing envoi to the world from this most humane of composers. See metopera.org for participating

FRIDAY, DEC. 20

Elf

In the surprise 2003 Christmas hit Elf, directed

by Jon Favreau, Will Ferrell embraces the cutesy confection of its plot. As Santa Claus doles out presents at an orphanage, a wee human crawls into his sack of toys, winds up at the North Pole, and is subsequently raised as an elf. Eight zillion sight gags constitute the first act, in which a giant-sized Ferrell bangs his head into low ceilings, squats on miniature crappers, and botches even the most remedial toy-making duties.

Ferrell finally discovers he’s the bastard son of James Caan, now a distant, terse Manhattan publishing-house exec. Innocent, syrup-swilling Ferrell then goes to big, bad NYC, meets Zooey Deschanel, and hilarity often ensues. So frantic, off-the-cuff, and self-aware in his ad-libs, Ferrell owns the movie the way Santa owns Christmas.

(Through Tues.) Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave., 686-6684, central-cinema.com. $6–$8. 7 & 9:30 p.m. ANDREW BONAZELLI

theaters—including Pacific Place, Thornton Place, and others. $20. 6:30 p.m. GAVIN BORCHERT THURSDAY, DEC. 19

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 18 — 24, 2013

40

“Hoffer stru ts and stom ps effortlessly in Hedwig’s high-heeled b oots...The gu y was BORN to wear the w ig.”

–City Arts

Directed by Ian Bell I Music directed by David Russell Starring Jerick Hoffer & Erin Stewart Music and Lyrics by STEPHEN TRASK I Book by JOHN CAMERON MITCHELL

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What’s the best movie of the year, according to our esteemed film critic? You’ll read his top-10 list, and mine, in next week’s Holiday Film Guide. But you can get a preview of his preferences tonight, when he’ll lead a year-end panel discussion with fellow film writers including Jim Emerson and Kathleen Murphy. American Hustle, reviewed on page 46, is clearly going to be a favorite. The New York Film Critics Circle has already voted it best film of the year, somewhat surprisingly beating Inside Llewyn Davis (also reviewed on page 46), which is partly the Coen brothers’ tribute to a lost Greenwich Village bohemia of the early ’60s. Down in L.A., the Los Angeles Film Critics Association tied in its vote for Spike Jonze’s Her (reviewed next week) and Gravity; and many think Sandra Bullock has another Oscar shot (after The Blind Side) for her astronaut lost in space. But we critics also need to look back earlier in 2013—remember Before Midnight?

Richard Linklater’s third collaboration with Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke will definitely by on my 10-best list, and I think the script is worthy of Oscar consideration, too. Another spring title not to forget: Spring Breakers, so gaudy and audacious, with a performance by James Franco that’s still seared in my head. And I’ll be curious to see what Horton and company think in retrospect about Woody Allen’s Blue Jasmine, now playing for over four months. I didn’t love the movie, but it’s proven to be another unlikely hit with legs, like his Midnight in Paris, with a performance by Cate Blanchett that’s certain to be nominated.

Then there are the late-breaking titles we won’t see before press time but will see just ahead of Horton’s panel: Ben Stiller’s The Secret Life of Walter Mitty and Martin Scorsese’s The Wolf of Wall Street. Both will be discussed tonight. Frye Art Museum, 704 Terry Ave., 622-9250, frye museum.org. Free. 7 p.m. BRIAN MILLER

STGPRESENTS.ORG

Robert Horton

SATURDAY, DEC. 21

#NOFILTER

The Twitter tag is a way to brand this touring show of three funny women—Grace Helbig, Hannah Hart, and Mamrie Hart—who’ve made their comedy reputations largely on the Internet. How to distinguish among them? Helbig is something of a Twitter artist (“Mashed potatoes are the best party guest”) and YouTube auteur (see: 101 Ways to Say No to Sex). She’s a short-form humorist who’s immersed in pop culture even while being alarmed by it, too. Hannah Hart is best known for her My Drunk Kitchen series of YouTube videos. In one, swigging wine stolen from her sister’s house (free wine is the best wine, she explains), Hart endeavors to make a grilled cheese sandwich. She offers various cooking tips in her unreliable tutorial, then is confronted by an absence of cheese. The solution?

Toasted bread with butter goes just fine with merlot. (Meanwhile, viewers worry whether or not she’ll cut off a finger.) Mamrie Hart—not related to Hannah Hart, go figure!—creates videos including the series You Deserve a Drink, in which she attempts to devise a custom cocktail for a Dr. Who drinking game, despite never having seen the show. The Neptune, 1303 N.E. 45th St., 877-784-4849, stgpresents.org. $25–$40. 8 p.m. T. BOND E

Now through Dec 31, 2013

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The Frye finishes its Munich Secession cycle with the last of the three vons: Stuck.

BY BRIAN MILLER

K

now your vons! The Frye featured Albert von Keller in 2010, Gabriel von Max the following year, and now completes the von-fecta with Franz von Stuck, whose famous Sin—the lady wearing the lusty snake—is so central to the museum’s collection.

Stuck has his own museum in Munich, which the Frye’s Jo-Anne Birnie Danzker previously headed. She’s an expert on the German artist (1863–1928), which here in the U.S. is like being an expert on Australian-rules football. Stuck, like the other two vons, never really caught on in America, though Charles and Emma Frye encountered his work at the 1893 World’s Fair in Chicago. World War I and its accompanying anti-Hun hysteria soon made all things German suspect, if not unpatriotic.

(This may also have knocked down the price of Sin in 1925.) None of the three vons is well represented in the U.S., and the Frye is unusual among American museums in owning a healthy selection from the trio and having a director so knowledgeable about them.

What’s the Munich Secession? Basically just a spat among young artists and older gallerists in several European cities during the 1890s. Danzker organized a Frye show on that topic in 2009, when she defined the Secession as a “break-away from the conventions of 19th-century salon painting and salon-style exhibitions. For the first time, art works were presented on light colored walls, with space between them, so that viewers could concentrate on a single art work rather than be distracted by a multitude of other paintings hanging above and below.” Put differently, while not an end to group shows, the artist was allowed to shine beyond his school. The notion of the heroic individual vision, echoing Wagner and Nietzsche, coincided with the whole fulsome barrel of German Romanticism about to burst upon the sharp edge of the 20th century. On the other side, Stuck and his peers were tentatively tipping into notions of Darwin, Freud, science, and a world without God. Today, says Danzker, she feels differently about Stuck than when she was running the Villa Stuck from 1992–2007. “He had eluded me,” she said at the October press launch. “I swore I’d never organize a Franz von Stuck exhibition again.” And yet here she was, doing just that, after editing a fresh new catalog for the show, which includes more than 100 works and supporting materials from the artist and his atelier. (Stuck was also a furniture designer and, with his wife, an avid photographer.) Danzker now labels Stuck a Symbolist, a term usually with French artists of his day—a somewhat more forward-looking crowd.

To my eye, at least, Stuck never leaves the past

behind. His subjects are generally Biblical and mythological (some specifically German, like the alarmingly phantasmagoric sky hunters in Wild Chase). Most of his canvases are gloomy and dark, their light refracted as through an inky prism. They’re more sepulchral than sunny.

WOLFGANG PULFER/MUSEUM VILLA STUCK

seattle repertory Jazz orchestra and northwest Chamber Chorus

earshotJAzz 206.547.6763 www.earshot.org

arts&culture» Visual Arts

Von Stuck’s poster for the 1911 International Hygiene Exhibition.

Christ on his back in the 1891 Pietà, with Mary weeping over his body (which Stuck modeled on himself ), is more morgue study than inspirational scene. The glowing eyes of Lucifer—raised above the picture surface—give the painting a vortex-like power, suggesting the hypnotic color whorls of Turner or Munch.

Stuck’s crisp posters and pamphlets for the Munich Secession, made before his fame as a painter, show the firm hand of a young draftsman who prefers the Hellenic to the Gothic.

Orpheus plucking a red lyre, surrounded by adoring animals, has a pagan strangeness. All the fighting Greek gods and battling fauns are consonant with the German notion of kampf. Whether it’s Wagner or Nietzsche or you-know-who to follow, there’s a romantic/ historical reverence for battle and bloodsport.

That was simply the zeitgeist of Stuck’s Germany, and he can’t be indicted for it now.

Born a miller’s son, Stuck only received the aristocratic “von” late in life; he jumped class about the same time that the old class distinctions were fading. He’s one of those transitional, fin de siècle artists who carried his key themes and references into the new age of airplanes, telephones, and silent movies. Yet he never seemed to enter that modern world. Photos, sadly not in color, show the elaborate architecture and furnishings of Stuck’s home (later to become the Villa Stuck museum), impeccably dressed in the raiments of the past. There are traces of Art Nouveau, but that’s about as far forward as Stuck’s aesthetic progressed. His students, notably Klee and Kandinsky, would become citizens of the new century, with Stuck a specter of the past, like his riders in the sky. E bmiller@seattleweekly.com

FRYE ART MUSEUM 704 Terry Ave., 622-9250, fryemuseum.org.

Free. 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Tues.–Wed. & Fri.–Sun.; 11 a.m.–7 p.m. Thurs. Ends Feb. 2.

arts&culture» Visual Arts

D I N I NG

Openings & Events ARCHAEOLOGY DAY PREVIEW With the price of

museum admission, get a free lesson in throwing an atlatl—an ancient spear-hunting tool. Burke Museum of History and Culture (UW Campus), 543-5590, burkemuseum.org, $7.50-$10, Wed., Dec. 18, 10-11 a.m.

CLOSED CIRCUIT SHOP LAUNCH Cairo, Prism and Nest, as well as a slew of local designers will be selling work at this pop-up shop centered around “past and present observation of flow in the digital age and the direction it has propelled us in: towards craft, mindfulness, focus, collectivity, a longing for authenticity and new application of technology.” Opening reception, 8-11 p.m. Fri., Dec. 20. Lovecitylove, 1430 Summit Ave., lucienpellegrin.com, Dec. 20-23, 11 a.m.-7:30 p.m.

CRISTINA DIOGUARDI The owner of Pike Place Market’s Beyond Threads, a Peruvian textile shop, Dioguardi will lead a tour through Peru: Kingdoms of the Sun and the Moon to discuss her favorite pieces.

Seattle Art Museum, 1300 First Ave., 654-3100, seattleartmuseum.org, $12–$20, Thu., Dec. 19, 6:30-7 p.m.

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS Local artists will be selling glass, pottery, wood, and jewelry crafts. Gallery at Towne Centre, 17171 Bothell Way N.E., 417-4645, shorelinearts.net, Tues.-Sat., 12-5 p.m. Through Jan. 4.

THE LAURELTON: NO PLACE LIKE HOME In this tribute to The Laurelton, a Capitol Hill apartment complex with a history of housing artists, over 30 past and present residents have contributed work as an ode to the thriving local community the building has helped create. Performance night: 7:30 p.m. Thurs., Dec. 19.

Vermillion, 1508 11th Ave., 709-9797, vermillionseattle. com, Opens Dec. 19, Tues.-Sun., 4 p.m.-midnight.

Through Jan. 6.

VIDEO/YOGA Interstitial Theatre curator Julia Greenway also happens to be a yoga instructor. In this class, Greenway will lead a yoga exercise accompanied by video art. Henry Art Gallery, 4100 15th Ave. N.E., 5432280, henryart.org, $6-$10, Thu., Dec. 19, 12:30-1:30 p.m.

Send events to visualarts@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings = Recommended

•

W EEK LY

SCIENCE

ARTS & CULTURE

COMMUNITY

E VE NT S

MUSIC

PR O M O T I ONS

W W W. S E AT T L E W E E K LY. C O M / S I G N U P

Museums • RICK ARALUCE With a day job designing sets and

scenery for Seattle Opera, artist Rick Araluce is a specialist in illusion—making castles and palaces out of plywood and paint. In The Minutes, the Hours, the Days, he builds immersive sculptural environments with doors, keyholes, thresholds, and other means of guiding the eye. Notions of viewing and voyeurism are strongly felt throughout. His creations are often miniature and frequently incorporate trompe l’oeil painting tricks. Araluce also uses lighting and sound effects to create the impression of space and perspective.

His large installation The Longest Hours reads like a corridor leading to a series of doors impossibly suggesting more rooms within. BRIAN MILLER Bellevue Arts Museum, 510 Bellevue Way N.E., 425-519-0770, bellevuearts.org, $7-$10, Tues.-Sun., 11 a.m.-5 p.m.

Through Jan. 31.

A FULLER VIEW Founding director Richard Fuller is honored with selections from SAAM’s permanent collection. The show is curated by SAM’s Josh Yiu and includes 150 lovely objects from China, Japan, and Korea—including the famous gold Crows screen—that go together because, well, they’re Asian and Fuller (1897–1976) collected most of them. Seattle Asian Art Museum (Volunteer Park), 654-3100, seattleartmuseum. org, $5-$7, Thurs., 10 a.m.-9 p.m.; Wed., Fri.-Sun., 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Through April 13.

FILM

•

PERU: KINGDOMS OF THE SUN AND THE MOON

Some countries have more history than others. Peru as a nation is only 192 years old, while this traveling collection of more than 300 objects spans some three millennia. That means Incan artifacts, pottery, sculpture, gold and silver jewelry, and elaborate masks from the pre-Columbian era; then even more lavish colonial artworks made with a European vocabulary (nativity scenes, saints, Madonnas, etc.); then some early ethnographic and documentary photography of an indigenous culture in decline. It’s as much an archaeology/anthropology show as an art exhibit, since these paintings and objects meant very different things to their creators. Less familiar to tourists and trekkers are paintings from the Cuzco School and folk-tinged, 20th-century canvases from native artists, who depict Peru’s hybrid new identity. BRIAN MILLER Seattle Art Museum, $12–$20, Thurs, 10 a.m.-9 p.m.; Wed., Fri.Sun., 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Through Jan. 5.

H A P P Y H OU R TOWN HALL

CIVICS

SCIENCE

ARTS & CULTURE

AR T S AND E NT E R TAI NM E NT COMMUNITY

TOWN HALL IS SEATTLE With a calendar featuring 400 events annually, drawing together dozens of independent artists, speakers, and organizations, TOWN HALL tells the story of our community—celebrating its creativity and curiosity through diverse, inexpensive programs that are intrinsically timely and relevant.

TOWN HALL is iTs membersHip.

With a grassroots base of 3,500 members who support TOWN HALL intellectually, socially, and financially, our membership is always the core of what we do.

Are YOU A TOWN HALL member?

WWW.TOWNHALLSEATTLE.ORG

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT NEWSLETTER

Find out about upcoming

performances, exhibitions,

openings and special events.

MEET THE AUTHORS VICKI ROBIN

Front and Centered

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 8 AT 7PM

BLESSING THE HANDS THAT FEED US (VIKING)

Taking the locavore movement to heart, bestselling author and social innovator Vicki Robin pledged for one month to eat only food sourced within a 10-mile radius of her home on Whidbey Island. Featuring recipes throughout, along with practical tips on adopting your own locally sourced diet, this book is a testimonial to the locavore movement and a healthy food future.

THEFUSSYEYE

INGRID RICKS

THURSDAY, JANUARY 9 AT 7PM MARTIN SCHOELLER

deliberately sought people who’d never been photographed, who had no idea how to pose— innocents before the lens, if you like. Even these images, among 43 in total, have a documentary scrutiny that extends to the more media-savvy.

Everyone gets the same privilege, the same deadpan grandeur. My favorite portrait here is of a freckled young girl called Frankie—neither famous nor primitive, and all the more enigmatic between those extremes. EMP Museum, 325 Fifth Ave. N. (Seattle Center), 770-2700, empmuseum.org. $12–$20. 10 a.m.–5 p.m. daily. Ends Feb. 16.

HIPPIE BOY: A GIRL'S STORY (BERKELEY)

Ricks' self-published memoir of a youth spent dodging the manias of her parents is a soft-spoken yet resounding reminder of the power plays tied to religion.

Ricks' voice is true, and her prose has a poised confidence.

JENNIFER LOUDEN

FRIDAY, JANUARY 10 AT 6:30PM

THE LIFE ORGANIZER: A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO A MINDFUL YEAR (NEW WORLD LIBRARY)

Following in the steps of her book, The Woman's Comfort Book, Louden innovates anew with ways to augment traditional goal-setting and step-taking with the ease that comes from gentle attention shifting and mindfulness.

Over 200,000 New & Used Books, Weekly Storytime, Author Events, Free WiFi, Free Parking, Book Club services, Used Book Buying 7 Days a Week.

17171 Bothell Way NE • 206.366.3333 • thirdplacebooks.com

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEM BER 18 — 24, 2013

Whose mug should EMP use to publicize its new photo show: George Clooney’s or that of some Amazon tribesman? What do you think? And yet there’s a certain tension

BY BRIAN MILLER between celebrity and unknown subjects in the oversize images of Martin Schoeller: Close Up. The German photographer is best known for his magazine work, usually placing politicians and movie stars frontally before the lens, bathing them in light and telling them not to smile. There’s an intentional sameness to his shots of Obama, Clooney, Kobe Bryant, Angelina Jolie, Paris Hilton, and company—an absence of composition. The monotonous poses are like passport photos or mug shots, only rendered with such size and detail that the familiar faces assume a strange, totemic quality, like those Easter Island moai. Other artists—notably Chuck Close—have created portraits of such size, though Schoeller’s idiom is decidedly commercial. These people are assignments to him, and they help sell magazines. And as is implicit in their agreeing to sit for a portrait, these figures—pols and actors alike—are likewise in the business of selling their images to us. Schoeller breaks the pattern with two series taken in remote Brazil and Tanzania; there he

CIVICS

TOWN HALL photo: Steve Dubinsky

B Y K E LT O N S E A R S

TOWN HALL

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arts&culture» Performance B Y G AV I N B O R C H E R T

Stage OPENINGS & EVENTS

CIRQUE DREAMS HOLIDAZE Pretty self-explanatory, I

guess—a holiday-themed Soleil-style circus spectacle.

The Paramount, 911 Pine St., 877-784-4849, stgpresents. org. $35–$65. 7:30 p.m. Fri., Dec. 20, 2 & 7:30 p.m. Sat., Dec. 21, 2 p.m. Sun., Dec. 22.

FAMILY AFFAIR Jennifer Jasper’s “sick, hilarious, and ultimately relatable” monthly cabaret on the theme of family.

JewelBox/Rendezvous, 2322 Second Ave., jenniferjasper performs.com. $10. 7:30 p.m. Wed., Dec. 18. #NOFILTER SEE THE PICK LIST, PAGE 40.

Richard III, and A Christmas Carol. Center House Theatre, Seattle Center, 800-838-3006, soundtheatrecompany.org. $25. 7:30 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. Ends Dec. 21.

HOMO FOR THE HOLIDAYS SEE REVIEW, PAGE 45.

A(N IMPROVISED) CHRISTMAS CAROL A welcome reaction against the Yuletide spirit. Scrooge, Tiny Tim, and company are kicked forward from the Victorian era to the topical now by a baker’s-dozen performers (most sharing various roles). Who says Tiny Tim has to be tiny, or even a child? Why can’t Bob Cratchit be an asshole? Or Scrooge could possibly be gay, right?

Since audience members get to toss out cues for how the story ought to proceed, the shows can range from G to R ratings. T. BOND Unexpected Productions Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 587-2414, unexpected productions.org. $12–$15. 8:30 p.m. Thurs.–Sat., 7 p.m.

Sun. Ends Dec. 29.

is anemic and too often off-key. MARK BAUMGARTEN ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave. S.W., 938-0339, artswest. org. $17–$36.50. 7:30 p.m. Wed.–Sat., 3 p.m. Sun., plus 3 p.m. Sat., Dec. 14 & 21.

LES MISÉRABLES Director Steve Tomkins and company have created what has to be the best-ever pocket-size rendering of the 1985 smash musical; you’re not likely to see it done this well—or so intimately—ever again. As in Victor Hugo’s 1862 novel of revenge, retribution, and redemption, French parolee Jean Valjean (Greg Stone) is pursued by inspector Javert (Eric Polani Jensen) while seeking to regain the good name he lost after stealing bread to feed a starving child. KEVIN PHINNEY Village Theatre, 303 Front St. N., Issaquah, 425-392-2202. $33–$68.

Runs in Issaquah through Jan. 5, then at the Everett Performing Arts Center Jan. 10–Feb. 2; see villagetheatre. org for exact schedule.

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CURRENT RUNS

THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER The horrible

Herdmans return in SPT’s annual favorite. Seattle Public Theater at the Bathhouse, 7312 W. Green Lake Ave. N., 524-1300. $15–$32. Runs Fri.–Sun. plus Dec. 23 & 24; see seattlepublictheater.org for exact schedule. Ends Dec. 24.

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 18 — 24, 2013

A CHILD’S CHRISTMAS IN WALES/THE LONG CHRISTMAS DINNER Stone Soup’s holiday double

HOLIDAY OF ERRORS (OR MUCH ADO ABOUT STOCKINGS The premiere of Frank Lawler and Daniel

Flint’s Tudor-set comedy, which mashes up Twelfth Night,

Send events to stage@seattleweekly.com, dance@seattleweekly.com, or classical@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings. = Recommended

44 •

bill joins a revue to David Sedaris’ comic monologue.

Bainbridge Performing Arts, 200 Madison Ave. N., Bainbridge Island, 842-8569, bainbridgeperformingarts. org. $19–$27. 7:30 p.m. Fri. Ends Dec. 20.

SHE LOVES ME A musical version of the story of The Shop Around the Corner. Renton Civic Theater, 507 S. Third St., Renton, 425-226-5529, rentoncivictheater.org. $20–$25. 7:30 p.m. Thurs., 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. Ends Dec. 21.

STRANGE SNOW Seattle Immersive Theatre presents Stephen Metcalfe’s drama in a house; you’ll find out where when you buy your tickets. 800-838-3006, seattleimmersive theatre.com. $25. 7:30 p.m. Fri.–Sat. Ends Dec. 21.

TEATRO ZINZANNI: HAIL CAESAR: FORBIDDEN OASIS Frank Ferrante returns as the flamboyant, omni-

sexual chef Caesar; slinky Dreya Weber, equally skilled as an aerialist and singer, plays a resurrected Cleopatra.

Teatro ZinZanni, 222 Mercer St., 802-0015. $108 and up.

Runs Wed.–Sun.; see dreams.zinzanni.org for exact schedule. Ends Jan. 26.

UNCLE MIKE RUINS CHRISTMAS Your family holiday nightmares become improv theater. Wing-It Productions, 5510 University Way N.E., jetcityimprov.com. $10.

Midnight:30 on Saturday nights. Ends Dec. 21.

THE VILLAGE OF YELM Curran Foster’s show is “the second installment in a stoner fairy rock musical trilogy . . . about a young artist suffering from the harsh pangs of existentialism.” Annex Theatre, 1100 E. Pike St., 7280933, annextheatre.org. $5. 7:30 p.m. Fri.–Sun. Ends Dec. 22.

Dance

• PACIFIC NORTHWEST BALLET: NUTCRACKER Kent

Stowell and Francia Russell had a very specific vision for Nutcracker: Unlike so many productions that borrow here and there from other sources, PNB’s has a unique and distinct style, going back to the original E.T.A. Hoffmann story, as spooky as it is sweet. SANDRA KURTZ McCaw Hall, Seattle Center, 441-2424. $22–$140. Runs practically daily; see pnb.org for exact schedule. Ends Dec. 29.

INTERNATIONAL BALLET THEATRE: NUTCRACKER

ERIK STUHAUG

bill. Stone Soup Theatre, 4035 Stone Way N.E., 633-1883. $20–$25. Runs Fri.–Sun. plus Dec. 23 & 24; see stonesoup theatre.org for exact schedule. Ends Dec. 24.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL Haters gonna hate. Honestly, why does Ebenezer Scrooge gets such a bad rap in this holiday perennial? (This is ACT’s 38th staging of the cash cow, which helps underwrite the rest of the season.) The man is an entrepreneur. Why should he share his wealth with the less fortunate, like Bob Cratchit and his family of moochers? That sounds like socialism to me! T. BOND (John Langs directs; Kurt Beattie and Peter Crook trade the role of Scrooge.) ACT Theatre, 700 Union St., 292-7676. $27 and up. Runs Tues.–Sun.; see acttheatre.org for exact schedule. Ends Dec. 29.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL Mark Chenovick’s musical adaptation. Seattle Musical Theatre, 7400 Sand Point Way N.E. #101N, 800-838-3006. $30–$40. Runs Thurs.–Sun.; see seattlemusicaltheatre.org for exact schedule. Ends Dec. 22.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL Here also, Mark Chenovick’s musical adaptation. Second Story Repertory Theatre, 16587 N.E. 74th St., Redmond, 425-881-6777, second storyrep.org. $22–$27. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Sat. plus Sun., Dec. 22. Ends Dec. 22.

CHRISTMAS CAROL JR. Mrs. Claus and her elves tell Dickens’ tale in a family adaptation (no scary ghosts!)

Second Story Repertory Theatre, 16587 N.E. 74th St., Redmond, 425-881-6777, secondstoryrep.org. $5–$10.

1 & 3 p.m. Sat.–Sun. Ends Dec. 22.

CONEY ISLAND CHRISTMAS Donald Margulies’ comedy about the Jewish holiday culture clash. Burien Little Theater, S.W. 146th St. and Fourth Ave. S.W., Des Moines, 242-5180, burienactorstheatre.org. $7–$20. 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. Ends Dec. 22.

DICK WHITTINGTON AND HIS CAT Picaresque fairy tale + audience participation = traditional British pantomime.

Hale’s Palladium, 4301 Leary Way N.W., 800-838-3006, brownpapertickets.com. $7–$13. 4 & 7:30 p.m. Sat., 1 & 4 p.m. Sun. Ends Jan. 5.

THE DINA MARTINA CHRISTMAS SHOW “The Best of the Best!” includes the incomparable, indescribable entertaineress’s “greatest” hits from her 14 holiday shows. With stalwart accompanist Chris Jeffries. Re-bar, 1114 Howell St., 800-838-3006. $20–$25. Runs practically daily; see brownpapertickets.com for exact schedule.

Ends Dec. 31.

THE EDGE This improv troupe presents It’s a Wonderful Life in radio-play style. Bainbridge Performing Arts, 200 Madison Ave. N., Bainbridge Island, 842-8569, bainbridge performingarts.org. $12–$16. 7:30 p.m. Sat. Ends Dec. 21.

HAM FOR THE HOLIDAYS Peggy Platt and Lisa Koch bring back the Spudds, the Sequim Gay Men’s Chorus, and more in their annual musical sketch show. ACT Theatre, 700 Union St., 292-7676. $15–$33. Runs Wed.–Sun.; see acttheatre.org for exact schedule. Ends Dec. 22.

HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH Jerick Hoffer reprises his acclaimed take on the (more or less) transgender glam-rocker. The Moore, 1932 Second Ave., 1-877-7844849, balagantheatre.org, stgpresents.org. 7:30 p.m. Wed., Dec. 18–Thurs., Dec. 19; 7:30 & 10 p.m. Fri., Dec. 20–Sat., Dec. 21; 2 & 7 p.m Sun., Dec. 22.

SAUL TANNENBAUM’S CLAUS FOR CELEBRATION/ THE SANTALAND DIARIES This holiday double

With choreography by Artistic Director Vera Altunina and hand-crafted sets and costumes from Russia.

Meydenbauer Center, 11100 N.E. Sixth St., Bellevue, 800838-3006, intballetacademy.org. $25–$42. 7:30 p.m. Thurs.– Fri., 2 & 7:30 p.m. Sat., 2 p.m. Sun., plus 2 p.m. Mon., Dec. 23. Ends Dec. 23.

DASSDANCE: MINI-NUTCRACKER A bit of Nutcracker, a continental breakfast, a visit from Santa, and more!

Washington Hall, 153 14th Ave., 800-838-3006, dassdance. org. $15–$20. 11 a.m. Sat., Dec. 21.

Mark Tyler Miller, Candace Vance, and Edd Key brighten up Taproot’s Le Club Noel.

IT’S YOUR WONDERFUL LIFE Jet City Improv takes on

the Capra classic. Wing-It Productions, 5510 University Way N.E., jetcityimprov.com. $12–$15. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Fri., 4 p.m. Sat. Ends Dec. 21.

JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR Andrew Lloyd Webber’s take on the Gospels, startling in its day. Bainbridge High School, 9330 N.E. High School Road, Bainbridge Island, 800-838-3006, ovationmtb.com. $19–$27. 7:30 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 3 p.m. Sun. Ends Dec. 22.

SWEETS: THE BURLESQUE • LAND OF THE As in their past stagings of the show, Lily NUTRACKER

Verlaine and Jasper McCann offer two versions of holiday entertainment. The early show allows kids, meaning things are a bit less risqué, and the late show is 21-andover, for a boozier crowd that wants to see a little more skin. Land of the Sweets is a loose riff on Nutcracker’s E.T.A. Hoffmann source material, mostly using Duke Ellington’s jazz version of Tchaikovsky’s score. The format is kind of like an old ’60s talk show, with Verlaine and McCann hosting an array of guests—hoofers, trapeze artists, ecdysiasts. Supporting talent includes Miss Indigo Blue, Waxie Moon, Babette La Fave, and plenty of familiar faces—well, familiar legs—from Spectrum Dance Theater and Ballet Bellevue. T. BOND The Triple Door, 216 Union St., 838-4333, thetripledoor.net. $33–$58. 7 & 10 p.m.

Mon., Wed., Thurs.; 7 & 10:30 p.m. Fri.–Sat.; 2, 6, & 9 p.m.

Sun.; also 5 p.m. Tues., Dec. 24. Ends Dec. 28.

LE CLUB NOEL Candace and Sam Vance’s new holiday play is set in a 1930s cabaret in Paris. Taproot Theatre, 204 N. 85th St., 781-9707, taproottheatre.org. $20–$40. 7:30 p.m.

Wed.–Thurs., 8 p.m. Fri., 2 & 8 p.m. Sat. Ends Dec. 28.

LITTLE WOMEN This 2005 musical adaptation (by Allan Knee, Jason Howland, and Mindi Dickstein) is all about Jo, the rebellious sister modeled on author Louisa May Alcott herself. EmilyRose Frasca attacks the role with an almost ferocious energy; her performance would be completely overwhelming in the three-hour show (with intermission), except that her big movements are matched with a larger-than-life singing voice that lends her character a commanding presence. In comparison, the rest of the cast—with the exception of Patricia HainesAinsworth’s delightfully snooty Aunt March—

• OLIVER! While Dickens’ template of street urchins mak-

ing their way through Victorian England remains intact, director David Armstrong makes certain that his starcrossed ragamuffin is an indomitable underdog whose ultimate triumph is never more than a production number away. Armstrong’s light touch is everywhere, from his winning Oliver (played alternately by Jack Fleischmann and Mark Jeffrey James Weber) to his feel-good Fagin (David Pichette), less a villainous predator than some sort of chipper headmaster. Even malevolent highwayman Bill Sikes (Hans Altwies) is rendered more rakish than dangerous—he’s a romance-novel cover boy with a mean streak. Purists will find this Oliver! has little of Oliver Twist’s outrage about avarice and poverty. But for now, as a confection of songcraft, performance, and production, it’s practically irresistible. KEVIN PHINNEY 5th Avenue Theatre, 1308 Fifth Ave., 625-1900. $41 and up. Runs Tues.– Sun.; see 5thavenue.org for exact schedule. Ends Dec. 31.

THE SALESMAN IS DEAD AND GONE Paul Budraitis’ dialogue-free play imagines Willy Loman in the afterlife.

Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave., strangertickets.com. $15. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Sat. plus Mon., Dec. 16. Ends Dec. 21.

THE SANTALAND DIARIES Originally a short story, Santaland was made famous by David Sedaris’ wry radio recitation, first aired in 1992. What makes it so difficult to stage is the remove with which Sedaris tells his story—how he, a struggling artist in New York, worked as an elf at Macy’s—which owes much of its humor to Sedaris’ clear disgust at his self-inflicted predicament.

But here Patrick Lennon’s performance is a pleasure, carrying the hour-long monologue with a mix of whimsy and dread, never missing a beat. The production, directed by Kelly Kitchens, stays true to its sardonic source. Lennon’s good at acting miserable, but also expert at exuberance, dashing about the set and delivering Sedaris’ cynical lines with panache. If you can set aside the NPR reruns and grant him some artistic license, this Santaland will leave you delighted. MARK BAUMGARTEN Seattle Public Theater at the Bathhouse, 7312 W. Green Lake Ave. N., 524-1300. $15–$29. Runs Thurs.–Sun., plus Dec. 23 & 24; see seattlepublictheater. org for exact schedule. Ends Dec. 24.

•

THE LONGEST NIGHT: BELLY DANCE FOR THE SOLSTICE Performances by Anwaar, Verbena,

Carouselle Tribal Belly Dance, and Blue Lotus Dance Company. Columbia City Theater, 4918 Rainier Ave. S., 7230088, columbiacitytheater.com. $12. 7 p.m. Sun., Dec. 22.

Classical, Etc.

ET AT THE MOVIES SEE THE PICK LIST, PAGE 40.

• M OPERA A more theatrical and intimate take on • INVERSE Messiah. Taproot Theatre, 204 N. 85th St., 781-9707,

taproottheatre.org. $15–$25. 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat. Ends Dec. 21.

• PHIL KLINE’S UNSILENT NIGHT “An ethereal, elec-

tronic soundscape played by the audience on boomboxes carried through city streets”—kind of like caroling. See unsilentnight.com for participation instructions. Chapel Performance Space, 4649 Sunnyside Ave. N., wayward music.blogspot.com. 7:30 p.m. Sat., Dec. 21.

MEDIEVAL WOMEN’S CHOIR “Christmas in the Cloister” features music from three abbeys in Germany, France, and Spain. St. James Cathedral, 804 Ninth Ave., medieval womenschoir.org. $25. 8 p.m. Sat., Dec. 21.

PORTLAND CELLO PROJECT Winter-themed music from Britten to Fleet Foxes. Kirkland Performance Center, 350 Kirkland Ave., Kirkland, 425-893-9900, kpcenter.org. $30.

8 p.m. Sat., Dec. 21, 7:30 p.m. Sun., Dec. 22.

PUBLIC OPERA Dinner and opera favorites from four vocalists. Basil’s Kitchen, 300 112th Ave. S.E., Bellevue, 425-455-1300, publicopera.com. $45. 5 p.m. Sun., Dec. 22.

CANDLELIGHT CONCERTS Bach’s Brandenburg Concerto no. 5 and other festive works. University Christian Church, N.E. 50th St. & 15th Ave. N.E., 522-0169, candlelightseattle.org. $15–$20. 7:30 p.m. Sun., Dec. 22.

SEATTLE MEN’S CHORUS For many, the holidays would be bleak and sere without this annual sparklefest.

Benaroya Hall, Third Ave. & Union St., 388-1400, flying house.org. $28–$78. 7:30 p.m. Sun., Dec. 22.

TRIO PARDALOTE Continuing their traversal of Shostakovich’s string quartets with the best-known one— the self-quoting, quasi- autobiographical Eighth. With a piano quartet by Peteris Vasks and Bach’s “Goldberg” Variations arranged for strings. Magnolia United Church of Christ, 3555 W. McGraw St., 800-838-3006, triopardalote. com. $10–$20. 7:30 p.m. Sun., Dec. 22.

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JENNIE LEE

This Yuletide variety show wears its inclusive, gay-positive message like the best gaudy Christmas sweater, so shiny and bright you might need some fabulous sunglasses to watch it. The production team of BenDeLaCreme, Kitten LaRue, and Lou Henry Hoover has created a jolly mashup of almost every “holiday spectacular” you’ve ever seen.

Charles Dickens, Frank Capra, and the apostle Luke really ought to share credit for the script.

But Homo for the Holidays hardly needs a narrative; it’s just an excuse for a series of numbers that alternate between sincerely effective and an ironical “so-bad-it’sgood” style.

DeLaCreme is the hostess for this party, serving mulled Bud Light rather than wine. As a contemporary drag artist, she presents herself as a caricature, but has the voice and the presence to truly sell a song like “Home for the Holidays.”

LaRue is her opposite number: an angel who needs to earn her wings, coming to Earth to save DeLaCreme from terminal tackiness. A burlesque dancer in her former life, it’s no surprise that at the end of her big number she has bells on her pasties. Hoover is joined by regular partner Cherdonna Shinatra in their usual Mutt and Jeff style, excelling at the fill-in parts like the best backup dancers.

Inga Ingenue and Faggedy Randy appear as Candy Cane and the Gingerbread Boy. Ingenue’s solo to Tchaikovsky’s Sugar Plum Fairy music is both a satire and a tribute to that Nutcracker perennial, as she gives her head a tiny shake to the tinkly celesta. Randy’s number, to Prince’s “Cream,” is pure Chippendales, as he can’t resist the milk left out for Santa. Playing Jesus, ilvs strauss is touched when Dad calls to sing “Happy Birthday.” Bo Mellinger is a high-maintenance elf, until he opens up with a big production number set to “Winter Wonderland.”

Jinkx Monsoon, who appears with Major Scales as “Dickensian Waifs” and “Your Jewish Neighbors From Down the Street,” seems to be performing in every theater in Seattle after winning on RuPaul’s Drag Race. This may be a good omen for DeLaCreme, who’s scheduled to appear as a contestant in that show’s new season.

You can tell your friends you saw her here first.

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arts&culture» Film

Opening ThisWeek PAmerican Hustle

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Agent Richie (Cooper, left) learns the tricks of the trade from Irving (Bale).

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues

and man, do they go for it—with Adams taking pride of place, definitively establishing that beneath her elfin features is the fierce survival instinct of a shark.

The movie’s fun to watch, if seemingly untethered. It would be nice to be able to avoid comparing it to vintage Scorsese, but the ricocheting camera and syncopated use of pop songs do seem awfully familiar, and just a little ersatz. (I will always be grateful to Russell for the sight of Lawrence hate-singing “Live and Let Die” during a fit of pique, however.) There’s also the odd sense that American Hustle doesn’t feel any actual outrage about corruption at high levels of American politics, except as an ironic outgrowth of a certain ’70s wackiness. Of course, perhaps these clumsy covert operations can only play as comedy, but the film cries out for the disciplined, angry satire of a Joseph Heller novel. What it provides instead, undeniably, is a rockin’ good time. ROBERT HORTON

OPENS WED., DEC. 18 AT VARSITY, PACIFIC PLACE, SIFF CINEMA UPTOWN, AND OTHERS. RATED PG-13. 119 MINUTES.

Again Veronica (Christina Applegate) gets the better of Ron (Ferrell).

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SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 18 — 24, 2013

We should mention right off that the New York Film Critics Circle, which decided it needed to be first in the stampede of awards groups doling out accolades this year, bestowed its best-picture prize on American Hustle.

That was back on December 3, which means NYFCC members likely saw the film a few days (if not a few hours) before voting on it. This suggests something about American Hustle: If this isn’t a great movie, and it’s not, it sure is a fireworks display, designed to make an immediate and dazzling impression. The latest concoction from director/co-writer David O. Russell is full of big roundhouse swings and juicy performances: It’s a fictionalized take on the Abscam scandal of the late 1970s, in which the FBI teamed with a second-rate con man in a wacko sting operation involving a bogus Arab sheik and bribes to U.S. congressmen.

Christian Bale, loosened up by a risible hairpiece and appalling ’70s eyewear, plays Irving Rosenfeld, the scam artist. Along with the FBI coercing him into its scheme, he’s caught between his hottie moll Sydney (Amy Adams) and neglected wife Rosalyn ( Jennifer Lawrence, who collected her Oscar for Russell’s Silver Linings Playbook). Even more complicated for Irving is that one of the targets of the undercover operation, a genially corrupt yet idealistic Jersey politico ( Jeremy Renner, of The Hurt Locker), turns out to be a soulmate. Equally unhappy is the presiding FBI agent (Bradley Cooper, his permed hair and his sexual urge equally curled in maddening knots), who’s developed a crush on Sydney that is driving him insane. This is a buoyant cast—Russell encourages his actors to go for it,

FRANCOIS DUHAMEL/© 2013 ANNAPURNA PRODS.

OPENS FRI., DEC. 20 AT SUNDANCE, SIFF CINEMA UPTOWN, AND OTHER THEATERS. RATED R. 137 MINUTES.

Like the shark that improbably figures in the plot of this overdue sequel, Ron Burgundy must keep moving forward. He doesn’t learn from the past, he never fundamentally changes, he can’t have a crisis of conscience or alter who he is—a boorish, borderline racist, male chauvinist pig who reached his zenith during the Jimmy Carter malaise years.

Or rather, Ron shouldn’t be made to change, but his creators, Will Ferrell and Adam McKay, have frittered nearly a decade since their 2004 hit Anchorman. Maybe they’ve overthought the character a tad too much. While Ron has moved from San Diego in the mid-’70s to New York in the early ’80s, more time has passed outside the multiplex. So Ferrell and McKay are torn: Should they reassemble the old cast, add some fresh cameos, and package a bunch of sketches; or should they endeavor to actually say something about the news business?

Both approaches are crammed into one sporadically funny movie, but neither half will have you blowing soda out your nose. Fans will expect more Burgundy catchphrases and inanities from his cohort (Paul Rudd, Steve Carell, and David Koechner). Those are there, but all the ad-libs can feel like a late show at the improv club after the audience has gone home. (McKay has said they’ll present a second DVD version of the film that doesn’t repeat one gag. I can believe it, even if I don’t want to see it.) For every line that scores, as when Koechner calls his meat substitute at a fast-food joint “chicken of the cave,” there are two dozen clunkers that an outside editor would’ve cut. Oddly, amid such riffery, the visual gags work better. The news team rolls its RV in slo-mo, unleashing a cascade of hot cooking oil, loose scorpions, and bowling balls.

They later share a swank white Upper East Side bachelor pad decorated with Warhol-style portraits of themselves. When Ron’s crew demands more graphics at the upstart cable channel GNN, the TV screen fills with an insane proliferation of Onion-style tickers. These you’ll want to pause

and read next year on video, because they’re often funnier—“Is a war between sharks and humans imminent?”—than what you’re hearing.

GNN is run by a rich Australian, equal parts Richard Branson and Rupert Murdoch, who promotes “synergy” among his shady business interests. He’ll do anything for ratings, trying to rival the big three networks; but GNN isn’t FOX News, and this movie isn’t Network. Ron’s new philosophy of journalism is “I just don’t know why we have to tell the people what they need to hear. We should tell them what they want to hear.” All of which leads to pandering, patriotism, puppies, and Ron’s shameless embrace of “what’s right with America.” This anticipates Roger Ailes and FOX, only without the politics, which negates any real satire. (And McKay and Ferrell know the difference: Recall their sketches and Broadway show lampooning George W. Bush.) It’s not Ron Burgundy who’s the paradigm of dumbed-down news in our time, it’s Megyn Kelly.

Ferrell is now 46, older, beefier, and considerably more prosperous than when he first devised the middle-aged, alcoholic character of Ron. He hasn’t grown into the role so much as grown past it. There are giant Motorola cell phones and predictable ’80s radio hits here, but Ron’s crybaby petulance—hidden beneath the macho bluster and hairspray—feels too small. Ferrell and McKay need a bigger target than the ratings chase to the bottom. Instead they settle for random character bits and pieces. (Kristen Wiig is wasted as a low-IQ love interest for Carell.)

“It’s total crap, and they can’t stop watching,” says one GNN executive. Oh, wait, are we talking about the news . . . ? BRIAN MILLER

PInside Llewyn Davis OPENS FRI., DEC. 20 AT HARVARD EXIT AND SUNDANCE CINEMAS. RATED R. 105 MINUTES.

When the Coen brothers make an outright comedy, they let you know it. There may be death and disaster in Burn After Reading or O Brother, Where Art Thou?, but we’re plainly being invited to laugh at human folly. Yet while there are funny bits in this simple story of a struggling folk musician in 1961 Greenwich Village, very loosely inspired by Dave Van Ronk’s memoir The Mayor of MacDougal Street, the situation for Llewyn Davis (Oscar Isaac) is fairly dire.

He has no money, no apartment, and no real prospects in the music industry—apart from an album that isn’t selling. He’s even impregnated the wife (Carey Mulligan) of a friend ( Justin Timberlake), both slightly more successful folkies—meaning they have an apartment with a couch for Llewyn to crash on. He’s the wrong guy at the right moment, as the movie’s poignant final scenes make clear.

So, while I and others tried to laugh at a preview screening, you should temper your expectations to appreciate the movie’s minor-key rewards. Isaac can really sing and play guitar; the sterling soundtrack, by T Bone Burnett, is built around live music performances; and the catchiest tune—an astronaut ditty called “Please, Mr. Kennedy”—is a knowingly cornball novelty song. But Llewyn’s trajectory is fundamentally downward and depressing. He’s a jerk to fellow musicians and benefactors, rude to his sister, and dismissive of others’ talent—possibly because he’s unsure of his own. Idealism has made Llewyn cynical. He scoffs at careerists,

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Jean (Mulligan) sees no future in Llewyn.

Walking With Dinosaurs OPENS FRI., DEC. 20 AT PACIFIC PLACE AND OTHER THEATERS. RATED PG. 87 MINUTES.

This new feature is based on a 1999 BBC series that took a serious approach to visualizing the world of dinosaurs. Such seriousness extended to the absence of, for instance, talking animals, which would have been an unconscionable sop toward attracting a kiddie audience. In fact, the makers of the new film intended to use the same approach. Now, what do you suppose are the odds that 20th Century Fox would sink $60 million into an animated movie that didn’t have talking dinosaurs?

And so we have Walking With Dinosaurs, starring the voices of Justin Long as a li’l baby dino named Patchi and John Leguizamo as Alex, the prehistoric bird narrating the story. The script by John Collee (he wrote Happy Feet) includes gags about the tiny arms of the T-Rex and the copiousness of dinosaur poop—although, to be fair, both of those examples are historically accurate.

Our heroic young pachyrhinosaurus tags along with the annual migration from Alaska and back again, learning how to fend off predators and the weather as he grows into manhood . . . er, dinohood. The movie’s pretty underdone as drama, with Patchi’s rivalry with older bro Scowler (Skyler Stone) the main bone of contention. In that sense, although the movie is a technical marvel, it’s hard to predict what the audience is going to be. Kids are bound to get restless, despite the opening period of baby-dino romping; and adults looking for an Animal Planet sort of spectacle will have to put up with talking dinosaurs. (It’s all voice-over, by the way—the creatures’ mouths don’t move. One of the strangest exercises in internal monologue ever.)

Despite all this, the movie looks incredible (and is meant for 3-D, which is the way you should see it if you’re still inclined). The backgrounds are generally authentic locations (Alaska and New Zealand in the starring roles), with the digitally generated creatures then added to the landscapes. So while I didn’t care much about the unfolding story, I was frequently astonished by the crisp visions that seamlessly made the dinosaurs come to credible life in their natural habitats. Now if they would just stop talking . . . ROBERT HORTON E

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ANCHORMAN 2 Through Dec 24 3 Golden Globe nominations nomin

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EVENTS

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Opens Dec 25 Leonardo DiCaprio in Martin Scorsese's DiC

THE WOLF OF WALL STREET

THE FILM CENTER Holiday Programs through Dec 24

7 GOLDEN GLOBE NOMINATIONS

NOW PLAYING | UPTOWN

THE PRINCESS BRIDE QUOTE ALONG With free inflatable infl swords!

WILLY WONKA IN SMELL-O-VISION With free goodie bags!

SIFF CINEMA UPTOWN | 511 Queen Anne Ave N SIFF FILM CENTER | Seattle Center

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEM BER 18 — 24, 2013

sellouts, and squares, sputtering at his sister’s humble life in Queens (“Just . . . exist?!? ”) like it’s purgatory. Such selfishness can be excused by genius, but the Coens never imply Llewyn is some kind of misunderstood genius. He’s a guy in need of a moral education, possibly a tutorial beating, both of which he’ll belatedly receive.

Like a vintage album cover sprung to life, Inside Llewyn Davis ’s depiction of pre-Beatles, pre-Dylan New York has a wonderful, dirtysnow verisimilitude. Llewyn is often framed in tight tenement hallways or seen trudging down sidewalks with shoulders hunched against the cold. (He can’t afford a winter coat, he says more than once.) This threadbare era seems closer to World War II than to what we now consider the ’60s. The apartment of some Upper West Side academics who shelter Llewyn—and suffer his abuse—is decorated with a perfect magpie collection of postwar trends: foreign movie posters, abstract art, volumes of Freud and Camus, African tribal masks, and Danish furniture. For them, folk music, embodied by Llewyn, is just another token of the exotic and the progressive. Letting him sleep on their couch and care for their orange tabby is like sponsoring an orphan in Botswana. And Llewyn likewise has the sneaking suspicion that folk music is but a commodity, a fad, to those who come to hear him play at the Gaslight Café.

As a man, Llewyn is a self-described asshole offstage; he’s only at his best onstage; and Isaac gives him a genuine grace and connection to songs including “Dink’s Song,” “The Death of Queen Jane,” and the sea shanty “The Shoals of Herring.” The latter is sung to Isaac’s dying father, fading away in an old sailor’s home, like feeble old Woody Guthrie being visited at the hospital by another young man with a guitar.

Llewyn plucks his last notes and looks up at his silent father—whether loving, disapproving, or deaf, we can only guess. “Wow,” is all he can say to the old man. It’s a beautiful moment, a great performance made for absolutely no money and an audience of one. If that’s success in the Coens’ scheme, it may be the only success Llewyn will find in this sad ballad of a movie.

If music can’t save him or provide a career, it’s also his only succor against life’s crushing disappointments. BRIAN MILLER

ALISON ROSA © 2012 LONG STRANGE TRIP LLC/CBS FILMS

DI N I NG

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arts&culture» Film

BY BRIAN MILLER

Local & Repertory SEE THE PICK LIST, PAGE 40.

• ELF LIFE Times are tough in Frank • IT’S A WONDERFUL It’s a Wonderful Life. Banks are failing.

Capra’s 1946 People are losing their homes. Veterans are returning from a bloody war abroad. Families are falling apart.

And all these stresses converge during the holidays, when there may not even be enough money in the household to buy any presents. Sound familiar? In the GI’s 43rd-annual screening of this seasonal classic, the distressed town of Bedford Falls could today be Anytown, USA. And beleaguered banker James Stewart could be any small businessman struggling to remain solvent amid our current financial crisis. If It’s a Wonderful Life is arguably the best Christmas movie ever made, that’s because it’s certainly one of the most depressing Christmas movies ever made.

Yet amazingly, 67 years later, it preserves the power to inspire hope for better days ahead. (No show Dec. 31; see grandillusioncinema.org for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.) BRIAN MILLER Grand Illusion, 1403 N.E. 50th St., 523-3935, $5-$8, Through Jan. 2.

MS. 45 From 1981, Abel Ferrara’s gynocentric revenge flick lacks much taste or subtlety, but it’s a weird, violent snapshot of New York City during the grungy Taxi Driver era. (R) Grand Illusion, $5-$8, Fri., Dec. 20, 10 p.m.; Sat., Dec. 21, 10 p.m.

NWFF HOLIDAY PARTY An egg nog competition (bring your own concoctions) is part of the Yuletide fun. Get there at six, and SW’s Robert Horton will be leading a year-end panel discussion of fellow critics.

Northwest Film Forum, 1515 12th Ave., 829-7863, nwfilmforum.org, Free, Fri., Dec. 20, 7 p.m.

THE PRINCESS BRIDE QUOTE-ALONG Bring the kids, or not, to test your knowledge of the William Goldman children’s tale, memorably filmed by Rob Reiner in 1987. Among the cast, as if you didn’t know, are Cary Elwes, Mandy Patinkin, Robin Wright, Wallace Shawn, Peter Falk, Carol Kane, and André the Giant.

See siff.net for showtimes. (PG) SIFF Film Center (Seattle Center), 324-9996, $6-$11, Through Dec. 24.

TOTALLY CHRISTMAS SING-ALONG Two dozen music videos, featuring the likes of Elvis and Mariah Carey, will feature subtitles so you can croon in tune. Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave., 686-6684, central-cinema. com, $10-$12, Thu., Dec. 19, 8 p.m.

WILLY WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY The 1971 adaptation of Roald Dahl’s novel stars Gene Wilder as the flamboyant candy-preneur. Something of an artifact of its time, the movie packs in a lot of trippy period humor and visuals. And it still beats the dreadful Tim Burton remake with Johnny Depp. Everyone hiss Veruca Salt! SIFF claims to be presenting the film in Smell-O-Vision, so be warned. See siff.net for showtimes. (G) SIFF Film Center (Seattle Center), $6-$11, Through Dec. 24.

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Ongoing SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 18 — 24, 2013

• ALL IS LOST Playing an unnamed solo yachtsman

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shipwrecked in the Indian Ocean, the 77-year-old Robert Redford is truly like The Old Man and the Sea—a taciturn, uncomplaining hero in the Hemingway mold. He represents an old-fashioned tradition of selfreliance and competence. Writer/director J.C. Chandor (Margin Call) withholds any personal information about our near-wordless hero, whose sloop is damaged by an errant floating shipping container full of shoes, somehow lost during its journey from China to the U.S. His radio and electronics are flooded, so he calmly and methodically goes about patching his boat while storm clouds gather in the distance. This is fundamentally a process drama: Character is revealed through action, not words. It’s a Shackleton story without the crew to save. For non-sailors, there is a lot of line-pulling, fiberglass repair, water-distilling, and sail-trimming; this can be tedious to watch, but the film shows how survival is often a matter of enduring tedium and loneliness.

Here is a small man adrift, stripped of technology, surviving by his wits. Here, too, is Redford without any Hollywood trappings—no chance to smile or charm.

And it’s a great performance, possibly his best. All Is Lost pushes backward to the primitive: from GPS technology to sextant to drifting raft. It’s a simple story, but so in a way was that of Odysseus: epic, stoic, and specific. (PG-13) B.R.M. Sundance

Holiday

Film Guide Coming 12/26

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THE BOOK THIEF Based on Australian writer Markus

Zusak’s 2005 novel, this WWII movie is also meant for children, and parents can safely drop them off for a matinee, candy money in hand, since there are no gas chambers or mass graves to give them nightmares.

Our orphaned German heroine is Liesel (Sophie Nélisse), aged 11 when sent to live with a childless couple—kindly Hans (Geoffrey Rush) and sour Rosa (Emily Watson). It’s 1938, and you know what follows: the Nuremberg Rally, Jesse Owens at the Olympics, Kristallnacht, the roundup of the Jews, the Anschluss, and the Allied bombing raids that kill German civilians and combatants alike. Liesel is illiterate, but Hans helps teach her to read, as does a handsome Jewish lad hiding in their basement (Ben Schnetzer). Liesel’s adventures are tame; the entire movie is so tame, in fact, that I’d strip the 13 off the PG. (PG-13) B.R.M. Sundance, Kirkland Parkplace, others DALLAS BUYERS CLUB Making a straight white Texas homophobe the hero of a film about the ’80s AIDS crisis doesn’t seem right. It’s inappropriate, exceptional, possibly even crass. All those qualities are reflected in Matthew McConaughey’s ornery, emaciated portrayal of Ron Woodroof, a rodeo rider and rough liver who contracted HIV in 1985. Directed

by Jean-Marc Vallée, the unruly Dallas Buyers Club goes easy on the sinner-to-saint conversion story.

McConaughey and the filmmakers know that once Ron gets religion, so to speak, their tale risks tedium. As Ron desperately bribes and steals a path to off-label meds, then drives to Mexico to smuggle them from a sympathetic hippie doctor (good to see you, Griffin Dunne), his allies and adversaries do read like fictional composites. There’s nice Dr. Saks (Jennifer Garner) and her profit-minded, drug-trial-chasing boss (Denis O’Hare), plus a friendly cop (Steve Zahn) and the transvestite who becomes Ron’s right-hand woman (Jared Leto). Rayon is also an addict, sicker than Ron, but they’re fellow gamblers who delight in beating the house. (R) B.R.M. Sundance, Harvard Exit, others GRAVITY George Clooney and Sandra Bullock are stranded in orbit, menaced by regular bombardments of space debris. The oxygen is running out and there’s no prospect of rescue from Earth. Their dilemma is established in an astonishing 12-minute opening sequence, seamlessly rendered via CGI by director Alfonso Cuarón. The camera occupies no fixed position. There is no up or down in the frame as it pushes and swoops among the wreckage and flailing astronauts. (Here let’s note that the 3-D version is essential; don’t even consider seeing the conventional rendering.) Dr. Stone (Bullock) at first can’t get her bearings; and the rest of the film consists of her navigating from one problem to the next. Gravity is a very compact and task-oriented picture. It’s both space-age and hugely traditional, though with a modern, self-aware heroine.

(PG-13) B.R.M. Thornton Place, Sundance, Pacific Science Center IMAX, others THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG By now you know that The Hobbit has been elongated into three hefty movies by Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson. Smaug is the middle one, and it improves on last year’s rambling An Unexpected Journey by sticking to a clean, headlong storyline and jettisoning much of Part 1’s juvenile humor. Our hero, Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman), is traveling with his crowd of bumptious dwarfs, intent on finding a magical stone inside a mountain crammed with treasure. Wee wrinkle: The mountain is home to a dragon named Smaug (voiced

by Benedict Cumberbatch), who likes to emerge periodically from his lair and burn down neighboring Laketown. This is really the only plot. Wizard leader Gandalf (Ian McKellen) breaks off from the travelers for his own jaunt; elfin archer Legolas (Orlando Bloom) returns to the fray from his LOTR stint; and a new elf character named Tauriel (Evangeline Lilly) provides woman-warrior action. The tightened storytelling (even at 156 minutes!) is welcome, and the movie looks cool.

However, one serious caveat: Jackson misplaces Bilbo Baggins. In the bustle and the rapid-fire close-ups of the dwarfs , good old Bilbo is relegated to memberof-the-gang status—but this really is his journey, isn’t it? (PG-13) ROBERT HORTON Alderwood 16, Pacific Place, Southcenter, Ark Lodge, Majestic Bay, Thornton Place, Sundance, others NEBRASKA Whether delusional, demented, or duped by a sweepstakes letter promising him $1 million, it really doesn’t matter about the motivations of Woody (the excellent and subdued Bruce Dern). What counts is the willpower of this cotton-haired, ex-alcoholic Montana geezer. His son David (Will Forte, surprisingly tender) becomes the enabler/Sancho Panza figure on their trek to Nebraska, where Woody expects to get his prize. There is a lifetime of regret and bad parenting to reveal in Alexander Payne’s black-white-

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BY TERRA CLARKE OLSEN

Seattle Weekly ~ Best of Seattle

‘Best Movie Theater 2013’ Editor’s Pick

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Loved it!

Tauriel I was nervous about Jackson’s decision to add Tauriel, a character not in The Hobbit—or any Tolkien book, for that matter. But luckily she enriches the film, adding a much-needed female presence. To summarize: She is a complete badass who kicks major ass. Loved it! (Side note: I always play a female elf ranger in D&D, so obviously it was nice to see a female soldier added to my favorite fantasy world!)

Smaug Everything about Smaug is perfect.

He is terrible, scary, sassy, and surprisingly beautiful (as beautiful as a fire-breathing beast can be).

From his facial expressions to the coins falling from his belly, every detail is perfect. Bravo!

Gandalf I really enjoyed how Jackson gives us a sneak peek into Gandalf ’s other dealings. He might only be Gandalf the Grey at this point, but he is wicked smart and courageous. As in the book, he is always running off to take care of important matters, so it was a pleasant surprise to get to follow his storyline in addition to the main one of Thorin Oakenshield and company. Perfect addition!

But even with the action-packed adventure and the “Hell yes!” moments, quite a few times I raised my hands to the film gods, asking “Why?!”

SEAT TLE

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verall, the nerd community has been happy with Peter Jackson’s second installment of The Hobbit, and I have to say I agree with them. But, fangirl that I am, I have to rant a tad because there were some really groanworthy moments. Before I tear into what I hated about The Desolation of Smaug, though, let’s start with the “Loved it!” moments.

Warning! Spoilers ahead.

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Hated it.

Tauriel I know I just listed her as a great new asset to the story, but what really irked me was the romance storyline assigned her. Really, Jackson, you thought romance was needed? Really?!

Just let her be kick-ass. She doesn’t need to have feelings for Legolas or Kíli. She is a soldier who doesn’t have time to worry about love. Ugh! Beorn For those who haven’t read the book, Beorn is a really interesting character. As Thorin’s party approached his home, I was looking forward to the meeting. Then I saw him. I always pictured Beorn as a great beast of a man, not tall and lanky, as he is depicted in the film. Why is he so skinny?! He is supposed to have the size and strength of a bear, for heaven’s sake! In addition, the film doesn’t expand on his gentle nature and friendships with animals. Overall, I was disappointed that The Hobbit doesn’t detail more of their visit (especially considering its length). Fail.

Gold Lava At one point, Thorin surfs a canal of molten gold. In a wheelbarrow. Hands grasping the sides. Yeah . . . hated it.

But, again, even with the groans and eyerolling, I am excited about this addition to Tolkien’s world. And although I welcome a female hero and the added plot lines, I hope that the final installment of the trilogy is more actionpacked—Battle of Five Armies! Bring it on!—but, please, no more romance. E

geeklyreport@seattleweekly.com

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movie, which makes it sound more bleak than it is.

There’s both comedy and pathos as Woody makes his triumphant return to Hawthorne, en route to the sweepstakes office in Lincoln, Nebraska. Supposedly a prospective millionaire in his old hometown, he’s a big shot at last, grander than his bullying old business partner Ed (Stacy Keach). If the locals mistakenly gush over Woody’s good fortune, and if his own ridiculous family, the Grants, come begging for riches, he enjoys the acclaim. Also visiting Lincoln is Woody’s wife, the movie’s salty truth-teller. Kate (June Squibb, a hoot) cheerfully defames the dead, ridicules Woody’s lottery dreams, and gives zero fucks about offending anyone. With its mix of delusion, decency, and dunces, Nebraska is a little slow for my taste but enormously rewarding in the end, one of the year’s best films. (R) B.R.M. Guild 45th, others PHILOMENA Based on actual events, our film begins with journalist Martin Sixsmith (Steve Coogan), a brittle Oxbridge type, newly out of a job and lowering himself to write a human-interest story. That’s how he meets Philomena (Judi Dench), an Irish lady with the kinds of questions that perhaps only a reporter could answer. As a teenager in the 1950s, Philomena got pregnant, was sent to a Catholic convent to hide her sin, and gave birth there. She remained at the convent as unpaid labor, and her little boy was taken at age 3, never to be seen or heard from again. The pair’s discoveries are a matter of record now, but we’ll hold off on the revelations . . . except to say that there are some doozies. Maybe it’s Coogan’s acerbic personality (he scripted, with Jeff Pope), or director Stephen Frears’ unpretentious take on the material, but Philomena generally succeeds in distinguishing itself from the average weepie. The calm roll-out is effective; Coogan’s performance is shrewd; and anytime the camera gets near the convent, the Irish chill is almost palpable. (PG-13) R.H. SIFF Cinema Uptown, Seven Gables, Lincoln Square, Meridian, Thornton Place, others SAVING MR. BANKS Here we have congenial Tom Hanks as Walt Disney, who’s wooing prickly author P.L. Travers (Emma Thompson) to authorize his studio’s planned musical Mary Poppins. Disney he wears his despotism lightly. “Call me Walt,” he keeps insisting—yet another irritant to Travers, sulkily visiting L.A. to approve the project (or not, as she continually threatens). A self-made woman who bolted Australia to refashion herself as a starchy, acerbic Englishwoman, Mrs. Travers—as she imperiously commands informal Americans call her—both needs the cash and despises her need. There’s enough conflict here for a good comedy of manners during the sunset of the studio system, but the movie—competently directed by John Lee Hancock—is too timid to take many liberties in 1961, preferring instead to intercut the parallel story of Travers’ difficult girlhood in 1906 Australia. Little “Ginty,” so in thrall to the confabulations of her charismatic father (a charming yet vulnerable Colin Farrell), must inevitably be wounded in childhood. Just as inevitably, 50 years later, that wound must be healed—with music, laughter, and a generous heaping of Disney stardust. As Walt and company sweetened and simplified several Poppins books into one hit movie, Travers’ rocky biography has been ironed out here. “We instill hope,” says Disney. Travers is too cowed to correct him: Hollywood sells hope. And happy endings. (PG-13) B.R.M. Alderwood 16, Pacific Place, Southcenter, Ark Lodge, Lincoln Square, Thornton Place, Majestic Bay, Kirkland Parkplace, Varsity, others 12 YEARS A SLAVE Made by English director Steve McQueen, this harrowing historical drama is based on a memoir by Solomon Northup (here played by Chiwetel Ejiofor), a free man from Saratoga, New York, who was kidnapped and sold into slavery in 1841.

Solomon passes through the possession of a series of Southern plantation owners. One sensitive slave owner (Benedict Cumberbatch) gives Solomon—a musician by trade—a fiddle. Then he’s sold to the cruel cotton farmer Edwin Epps (Michael Fassbender), who also owns the furiously hard-working Patsey (Lupita Nyong’o). Patsey, like Solomon, is caught inside the terror of not knowing how to play this hand. Do they keep their heads down and try to survive, or do they resist? This is no Amistad or Schindler’s List, tackling the big story, but a personal tale. Instead of taking on the history of the “peculiar institution,” the film narrows itself to a single story, Solomon’s daily routine, his few possessions. The film’s and-then-this-happened quality is appropriate for a memoir written in the stunned aftermath of a nightmare. Along the way, McQueen includes idyllic nature shots of Louisiana, as though to contrast that unspoiled world with what men have done in it. The contrast is lacerating. (R) R.H. Guild 45th, others

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arts&culture» Music

ALAN ALABASTRO OF ALABASTRO PHOTOGRAPHY

INDULGENCE at EMP

So Long, 2013!

Hello, 2014!

Seattle Weekly’s plan-it-now guide to New Year’s Eve.

BY MARK BAUMGARTEN, GAVIN BORCHERT, GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT, AND KELTON SEARS PIANO ROCK’N PARTY Dueling pianos will be center

NEW YEAR’S EVE! DECEMBER 31

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 18 — 24, 2013

SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET

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stage, as usual, for this party in Pioneer Square that will also feature food and drink specials. 88 Keys, 315 Second Ave. S., 839-1300, ilove88keys.com. $15 singles/$25 couples. 8 p.m. 21 and over. MB BLACK & WHITE BALL Ground zero for New Year’s in Fremont will be at the Ballroom, which will ring in 2014 with its Seventh Annual Black & White Ball. For a fair price, partiers will receive everything necessary for a proper send-off to 2013, including photos, appetizers, party hats, and mini–champagne bottles. Ballroom, 456 N. 36th St., 635-2575, ballroomfremont.com. $25 adv.

8 p.m. 21 and over. MB SEATTLE SYMPHONY It’s all dessert on the Seattle Symphony’s NYE menu: John Williams’ Star Wars score, a couple rousing orchestral dances, music from Nutcracker (in both the Tchaikovsky and Ellington/ Strayhorn versions) and Rhapsody in Blue. Stay until midnight at the post-concert party. Benaroya Hall, Third Avenue & Union Street, 215-4747, seattle symphony.org. 9 p.m. $52–$153. GB THE ARI JOSHUA BAND If you’re looking to keep it local tonight, check out singer/songwriter Ari Joshua, who’s played with every hometown luminary from Skerik and Mike McCready to Stone Gossard, Michael Shrieve, and Peter Buck. Blue Moon, 712 N.E. 45th St., 675-9116, bluemoonseattle.wordpress.com. 9 p.m. $10.

21 and over. GE PARTY AT CHIHULY GARDEN AND GLASS Nibble on poached-pear skewers and truffle-mozzarellastuffed arancini at this elegant affair beneath the Space Needle, where you’ll be well-positioned for the midnight fireworks (not to mention the midnight Veuve Clicquot toast and the smooth sounds of The Robert Vickers Band). Chihuly Garden and Glass, Seattle Center, chihulygardenandglass.com/new-years-eve. $200/parking, gratuities, museum admission included.

21 and over. GE LICK! Seattle’s dance party for “dykes, trannies, fags, and friends” will kick off the new year with its resident DJs Dewey Decimal and Mathematix, as well as Roy G BIV. Chop Suey, 1325 E. Madison St., 324-8005, chop suey.com. 8 p.m. $5. 21 and over. KS ABNEY PARK’S CIRCUS AT THE END OF THE WORLD This “Post-Apocalyptic Tribal Steampunk

The Neil Diamond Tribute

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Shanty” incorporates elements of burlesque and cosplay, set to a soundtrack that’s something like Dead Can Dance meets Evanescence. Come apparelled for—and expect—a carnival. Columbia City Theater, 4916 Rainier Ave. S., 722-3009, columbiacitytheater. com. 8 p.m. $30 adv./$35 DOS. 21 and over. GE

ARTIST HOME NEW YEAR’S EVE CELEBRATION

The folks at Artist Home invite a litany of talented musicians to close out a huge year—during which the booking and promotion company started the Timber!

Music Festival—and welcome a fruitful 2014— during which it will undertake another new fest, Timbrrr! (Jan. 10–11). Glad tidings and cover songs will abound, including a Velvet Underground cover by Ravenna Woods leader Chris Cunningham and a Kinks cover by Gabriel Mintz. With Big Sur, Invisible Shivers,

Youth Rescue Mission, Friday Mile. Conor Byrne Pub, 5140 Ballard Ave. N.W., 784-3640, conorbyrnepub.com.

9 p.m. $15. 21 and over. MB THE FLAVR BLUE Fronted by Hollis Wong-Wear—made famous by Macklemore’s “White Walls”—The Flavr Blue’s electro-R&B will make for a bumping New Year’s alongside Kingdom Crumbs’ esoteric MCs. With Nightmare Fortress, Kingdom Crumbs and DJ100Proof.

The Crocodile, 2200 Second Ave., 441-4618, the crocodile.com. 9 p.m. $15 adv. 21 and over. KS LEFTOVER CRACK This New York City punk band—with a litany of criminal offenses, venue bans, and crusty punk ’tude—hasn’t released an album since 2007’s

Deadline, but if you want to kick off 2014 with some mayhem, you’ll find it here tonight. With Skarp, Juicy Karkass, Vile Display of Humanity, The Vatican. El Corazon, 109 Eastlake Ave. E., 381-3094, elcorazonseattle.com. 7 p.m. $15 adv./$20 DOS. All ages. GE INDULGENCE The EMP will transform into a futurefacing party lair as 3,000 people fill its space-aged hull for the Northwest’s largest New Year’s party, where they can choose among 25 onsite bars and five different entertainment experiences, including a comedy stage, the MOViN 92.5 DJ stage, an ’80s invasion stage, and a party-band stage. EMP Museum, 325 Fifth Ave. N., seattlebash.com. $69 General admission $199 VIP Gold/$350 VIP Platinum. 21 and over. MB HELL’S BELLES True to its name, the legendary nightclub Fenix is rising from the ashes yet again—for the sixth time in two decades!—and has fittingly chosen New Year’s Eve to christen its new Pioneer Square space (which previously housed The Last Supper Club).

All-female AC/DC cover band Hell’s Belles will provide the soundtrack, and you will provide the action.

With DJ Kryspin, Seattle Aerialists. The Fenix, 124 S. Washington St., 748-9975, fenixseattle.com. $25+ adv/$60 VIP. 21 and over. MB PONCHO SANCHEZ The iconic bandleader caps a midwinter stand with two shows of unseasonably hot Latin jazz for New Year’s crowds. The early show can include a four-course dinner and time enough to continue the party at home before the ball drops. But the full-on celebration goes down during the late set, with desserts, party favors, and lots of conga. Jazz Alley, 2033 Sixth Ave., 441-9729, jazzalley.com. 6:30 p.m.: $119.50 w/dinner, $64.50 w/o dinner. 10:30 p.m.: $104.50.

All ages. MB LEROY BELL & HIS ONLY FRIENDS The local Billboard-topping songwriter and X Factor star adds to the celebratory vibe by officially releasing his new album, Rock N’ Soul, at this show (with a little help from his friends, of course, including his three-piece band, host Marty Reimer, and openers Red Jacket Mine). Kirkland Performance Center, 350 Kirkland Ave., Kirkland, 425-893-9900, kpcenter.org. 9 p.m. $45. 21 and over. GE KNUT BELL AND THE BLUE COLLARS A driving Americana sound—what the showman calls “Hauling

album, Rock N’ Soul, at this show (with a little help from his friends, of course, including his three-piece band, host Marty Reimer, and openers Red Jacket Mine). Kirkland Performance Center, 350 Kirkland Ave., Kirkland, 425-893-9900, kpcenter.org. 9 p.m. $45. 21 and over. GE KNUT BELL AND THE BLUE COLLARS A driving Americana sound—what the showman calls “Hauling Ass Honky Tonk”—defines the country music of Knut Bell, Seattle Weekly’s Best Country Artist of 2012. With his band, the tunes are twangy, the spirit merry, and the cowboy-boot-scuffed dance floor packed at his annual New Year’s show at Little Red Hen, 7115 Woodlawn Ave. N.E., 522-1168, littleredhen.com. 9 p.m. $10. GE

WHITE WINTERLAND, FEAT. A TRAK AND BASSJACKERS Those wanting to kick off 2014 with

a blitz of house music should head over the bridge to Bellevue, where Dutch duo Bassjackers will play the midnight slot on a bill packed with world-class DJs. Dress code dictates that revelers wear white, and the lineup dictates that you stay late for headliner (and sometimes personal tour DJ for Kanye) A Trak. With Downlink, Starkillers, Torro Torro, Luminox, Party Favor.

Meydenbauer Center, 11100 N.E. Sixth St., Bellevue, 425-637-1020, stardustpro.com. 7 p.m. $39–$100 adv.

18 and over. GE NEW YEAR’S EVE FEAT. ROUGE The menu for Maximilien’s bash: foie gras, mushroom bisque, venison or lobster, mousse au chocolat. The entertainment: Rouge, a voice/violin/accordion trio in French cafe style. It all sounds delectable. Maximilien, 81 Pike St., 682-7271, maximilienrestaurant.com. $95– $125. All ages. GB THE BLACK ANGELS If massive fireworks displays aren’t trippy enough for you, psych overlords the Black Angels will put on an absolutely mind-melting visual spectacle—swirling fractals and drippy liquid projections dance around as the band casts their ’60s-inspired spells. The Moore, 1932 Second Ave., 7844849, stgpresents.com. 9 p.m. $32.50. 21 and over. KS LEFTOVER SALMON FEAT. BILL PAYNE In stark contrast to Leftover Crack, Leftover Salmon takes a slower approach to its musicality, blending bluegrass and country styles into breezy jam rock. The band calls it “polyethnic Cajun slamgrass,” and dropped its recent statement on the subject, Aquatic Hitchhiker, last year. Accompanied by Little Feat’s Bill Payne, this is bound to be a fiddle- and banjo-heavy night that’ll have you jonesing for actual leftovers after midnight. With Fruition. The Neptune, 1303 N.E. 45th St., 682-1414, stgpresents.org/neptune. 8:30 p.m. $50. GE STRFKR The Northwest’s favorite lo-fi electro-indie pop band is shooting confetti poppers tonight with Pillar Point, the new electronic dance project from Throw

SPECTRA 2014 Check out aerial exhibits and fire sculptures as DJ Riz, Darek Mazzone, DJ El Toro, DJ Sharlese, and DJ Alex, all from local independent radio station KEXP, spin New Year’s tunes. Pacific Science Center, 200 Second Ave. N., 443-2887, pacificsciencecenter.org. 8:30 p.m.–2 a.m. $100. 21 and over. KS BIG BAND JAZZ FROM THE ’30S–’50S Party like it’s 1939 with swinging tunes from the Big Band age. Don’t forget your era-appropriate dance moves, too, like the cakewalk, the jitterbug, and the Charleston (what Donna Reed and Jimmy Stewart were doing when they fell into the pool in It’s a Wonderful Life). Royal Room, 5000 Rainier Ave. S., 906-9920, theroyalroomseattle.com. 9 p.m. Free. All ages. GE CHILDREN’S COUNTDOWN TO THE NEW YEAR At the top of each hour as the New Year arrives in a different country, kiddos at the museum will raise a glass of juice and spend the hour doing a craft related to the tradition of that country. Seattle Children’s Museum, Center House, Seattle Center, 441-1768, thechildrensmuseum.org. 10 a.m.–5 p.m. $8.25 per adult, $8.25 per child, $7.25 per grandparent. All ages. KS SUPER DIAMOND Remember Saving Silverman’s Neil Diamond cover band, Diamonds in the Rough? Now just picture it in the Showbox, add more members, and slap on Diamond’s own stamp of approval, and you’ve got the best version of “Sweet Caroline” this side of the sequined Vegas star himself. Showbox at the Market, 628-3151, showboxpresents.com. 9 p.m. $35–$40 adv./$45 DOS. 21 and over. GE UNCORKED NYE WITH MICHAEL DUNCAN AND DJ STASCHE A ticket to this party gets you food,

drinks, and access to a photobooth where you and your pals can take drunken pictures of yourselves after a long night of dancing. Sole Repair Shop, 1001 E. Pike St., 979-SHOP, solerepairshop.com. 9 p.m. $75.

21 and over. KS ST. JAMES CATHEDRAL Billed as a “Royal New Year’s at Versailles,” St. James’ annual celebration includes festive French music from the reigns of three monarchs, from a Mass by Charpentier to a chamber concerto by the eccentric pianist Charles-Valentin Alkan.

St. James Cathedral, 804 Ninth Ave., 622-3559, stjamescathedral.org. 11 p.m. $30 suggested donation. GB STAR ANNA If you can’t wait to say good riddance to 2013, you’re in good company tonight. Star Anna composed her new album, Go to Hell, during a time of “battles and betrayals,” she says. “The title speaks for itself.” Send the year packing at this send-off, featuring the singer’s wailing blues-rock growl. With Shane

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEM BER 18 — 24, 2013

COURTESY OF THE ARTIST

The Flavr Blue

Me the Statue’s Scott Reitherman. Be prepared to shimmy in your shiny NYE shoes tonight. With Teen Daze, Alexico. Neumos, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9442, neumos.com. 8 p.m. $25 adv. 21 and over. KS

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El Corazon www.elcorazonseattle.com

109 Eastlake Ave East • Seattle, WA 98109 Booking and Info: 206.262.0482

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 19

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 27

I LIKE SCIENCE

Seattle’s #1 Skateboard Event Of The Year!

with Out On The Streets and Not From Brooklyn Lounge Show. Doors at 8 / Show at 8:30PM 21+. $5 ADV / $7 DOS

ALL CITY SHOWDOWN #8 Doors at 7:30 / Show at 8PM ALL AGES/BAR W/ID. $8

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 28

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 20

Justice Rock Productions & Just Bird Present: “THE NAUGHTY LIST” featuring:

KEXP 90.3 FM, The Stranger, Take Warning & El Corazon Present:

MONSTERS SCARE YOU with

X & THE BLASTERS with The Bad Things

We The Audience, Prestige, Showtime (EP Release), Home Alone and Stories Away

Doors at 7 / Show at 8PM 21+. $25 ADV / $30 DOS

Doors at 6 / Show at 6:30PM ALL AGES/BAR W/ID. $10 ADV / $13 DOS

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 28

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 21 KEXP 90.3 FM, The Stranger, Take Warning & El Corazon Present:

The Monsters Scare You Aftershow Party!

Featuring Back To Back DJ Sets from:

Doors at 7 / Show at 8PM 21+. $25 ADV / $30 DOS

Spinning starts immediately after the conclusion of The Monsters Scare You show in the showroom.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 22

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 29

X & THE BLASTERS with Girl Trouble

LANGBO SAVAGE with RedJet Lounge Show. 21+. FREE.

Idobi Radio Presents: “A Very Merry Christmas Acoustic Tour 2013” featuring:

“Pack The House Night” featuring:

UNHAILOED with Dressed As Super Heroes, Drone Strike, Hellephant, The West Coast

BEST OF FRIENDS

with Josh Withenshaw, Dylan Jakobsen, Letters And Lights & Josh Kain. Doors at 7/ Show at 7:30PM ALL AGES/BAR W/ID. $10 ADV / $12 DOS

Improvement Company, Antitheus and Something Strange. Doors at 4:30 / Show at 5PM

ALL AGES/BAR W/ID. $9 ADV / $11 DOS

JUST ANNOUNCED 1/12 LOUNGE HATTERS FOR HIRE 1/17 PHILIP H. ANSELMO & THE ILLEGALS 1/22 LOUNGE LETTERS 1/28 LOUNGE RED CITY

RADIO 1/31 DAVID ALLAN COE 2/6 THE MENZINGERS / OFF WITH THEIR HEADS 2/13 REHAB (FAREWELL TOUR) 4/1 LA DISPUTE 4/11 MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE 7/10 RYAN FARISH UP & COMING 12/30 JUMPING FENCES 12/31 LEFTOVER CRACK 1/1 BUSINESS SHARKS 1/3 LOUNGE NUMBER STATION 1/4 & 1/5 COLOSSAL FEST 1/6 THE HORSE I RODE 1/10 EARLY SCHOOL OF ROCK PRESENTS BIG 4 (METALLICA, SLAYER, ANTHRAX, MEGADETH) 1/10 LATE SCHOOL OF ROCK PRESENTS BLACK SABBATH 1/11 VOLTAIRE 1/18 D.R.I. 1/19 SHYAN SELAH & THE REPUBLIC OF SOUND

Tickets now available at cascadetickets.com - No per order fees for online purchases. Our on-site Box Office is open 1pm-5pm weekdays in our office and all nights we are open in the club - $2 service charge per ticket Charge by Phone at 1.800.514.3849. Online at www.cascadetickets.com - Tickets are subject to service charge

The EL CORAZON VIP PROGRAM: see details at www.elcorazon.com/vip.html and for an application email us at info@elcorazonseattle.com

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Al Dimeola

SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEMBER 18 — 24, 2013

All Your Life: A Tribute To The Beatles

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Jewel

The Animals

Let It Snow: A Holiday Collection

Mickie Most Years & More

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Ms Mr

Secondhand Rapture

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Headstones Love + Fury

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The Neighbourhood I Love You.

The Koffin Kats

Born Of The Motor

Matthew Good Arrows Of Desire

SODO 2930 1st Ave S (206) 283-3472

Northgate 9560 1st Ave NE (206) 524-3472

Bellevue Crossroads Mall (425) 643-3472

arts&culture» Music A Heart Needs a Home: Richard Thompson Tribute Show Thursday, December 19

S

COMMONS

ince his 1972 solo release, Henry the Human Fly, Richard Thompson has sustained one of the most prolific and storied careers in popular music. He was a leading member of the British folk movement through his work with Fairport Convention, and I Want to See the Bright Lights Tonight, his 1974 collaboration with his former wife and singing partner Linda, though overlooked by the press at the time, was later included in Rolling Stone’s list of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time. Age hasn’t slowed Thompson, either; just this year his 20th studio release, Electric, garnered some of the best reviews of his long career.

Thompson (who was recently in town performing with Rodney Crowell and Emmylou Harris) is an artist of huge range. Indeed, “A Heart Needs a Home,” the tender folk ballad he recorded with Linda on their 1975 album Hokey Pokey, is the inspiration for this benefit for Solid Ground, a Seattle nonprofit that works to end poverty and homelessness. So the decision to draw from Thompson’s vast back catalog of hits, B-sides, and deep cuts should provide each performer a lot of room to work with, considering who’s tapped to play.

Tonight’s lineup reads like a who’s-who of Seattle’s musical upper crust, with inimitable guitarist Bill Frisell leading the pack. A fixture on the Seattle music scene since the late ’80s, his fluid take on jazz has positioned him as one of the genre’s most heralded musicians for 30

years. If anyone within the city limits is able to approximate Thompson’s own feel for a fretboard, it would be Frisell. A recent addition to the UW faculty, he’ll join fellow professor Luke Bergman tonight—whose work with a handful of local bands (Heatwarmer, Thousands, Poor Moon) ranges from pop and folk to experimental free jazz. The pairing will likely yield excellent interpretations. With his string-based Americana repertoire, Eli West will take up the folk torch, and longtime Seattle singer/songwriter Jim Page

Starring Jerick Hoffer aka Jinkx Monsoon

Wednesday, Dec. 18 Led by guitarist Eric Rice, local group DIRTY RICE delivers an eclectic array of covers—from T-Bone Walker and Muddy Waters to Seattle’s own Jimi Hendrix—in addition to their own deep catalog of originals. Expect a rocking night of blues with a hard edge. Highway 99 Blues Club, 1414 Alaskan Way, 382-2171, highwayninety nine.com. 8 p.m. $6. CORBIN REIFF UNSINKABLE HEAVIES For members of the eight-piece Polyrhythmics, the apple doesn’t fall too far from the musical tree. When it came to Unsinkable Heavies, a side project of sorts, the musicians kept the funk grooves they’re known for and added a dash of soul.

The Heavies have a deeper sound, but it’s just as easy to dance to as its parent band. Seamonster Lounge, 2202 N. 45th St., 992-1120, seamonsterlounge.com.

10 p.m. Free. AZARIA C. PODPLESKY

Thursday, Dec. 19

SAM RUSSELL WITH THE HARBORRATS Sam

Russell’s singing and songwriting style is a heartfelt hat tip to obvious influences, from Jerry Lee Lewis to Springsteen, Bowie, Billy Joel, and Tom Waits, and this mature, not-so-modern sound sets him apart from fellow Seattle songsmiths. His band tonight, a group of talented multi-instrumentalists/vocalists known as the Harborrats, provide able accompaniment. With Justin Froese, Jeff Grant. Columbia City Theater, 4916 Rainier

Send events to music@seattleweekly.com.

See seattleweekly.com for full listings.

will surely keep things political.

With so many different musicians, styles, and tastes colliding, it will be vastly interesting to see what sort of magic they’re able to conjure. Even considering the majority of Royal Room shows are free, $20 for tonight’s bill, with proceeds going to a good cause, ensures absolutely zero buyer’s remorse. Also with Robin Holcomb, Joel Tepp, Wayne Horvitz, Darren Loucas, and other local legends. The Royal Room, 5000 Rainier Ave. S., 906-9920, theroyalroomseattle. com. 7:30 & 9:30 p.m. $20. CORBIN REIFF

Ave. S., columbiacitytheater.com, 722-3009. 8 p.m. $6 adv./$8 DOS. 21 and over. JESSIE MCKENNA SALLIE FORD & THE SOUND OUTSIDE In the video for “Party Kids,” off February’s Untamed Beast, Portland’s Sallie Ford is bartending when a roughlooking group comes in. When one of them gets a little touchy-feely, Ford raises hell while the band raids the bar and snags the offender’s girl. It’s a great visual for its brand of roots-rock, which can go from zero to 60 in a snap. With And the Kids, Red Jacket Mine. The Crocodile, 2200 Second Ave., 441-4618, thecrocodile. com. 8 p.m. $15. All ages. ACP THE GYPSY ALLSTARS A new collaboration finds the Gipsy Kings’ Mario and George Reyes teaming with musicians from India in a dynamic, fiery fusion of traditional music from the subcontinent and the gypsy rhythms the Reyeses are renowned for. Jazz Alley, 2033 Sixth Ave., 441-9729, jazzalley.com. 7:30 p.m. (through Sun.; also 9:30 p.m. Fri. & Sat.) $26.50. CR NACHO PICASSO is Seattle’s answer to Danny Brown.

Both have absurd personas steeped in despicable misogyny and ludicrous rhymes. Despite his questionable values, the rapper puts on one of Seattle’s most engrossing, wild hip-hop shows, and his new album, High & Mighty, is finally getting a proper release show at Neumos, 925 E. Pike St., neumos.com, 709-9442.

8 p.m. $10 adv. DUSTY HENRY Jason J. Brunet, aka THREE NINJAS, is a self-dubbed “musician from New Orleans with a hillbilly heart and electronic blood.” With this makeup, the DJ strays from mainstream trends and creates psychedelic, baffling beats in his sets. One minute he’s sampling G-funk grooves, the next he’s tinkering with Hank Williams or

“Hoffer stru ts and stom ps effortlessly in Hedwig’s high-heeled b oots...The gu y was BORN to wear the w ig.”

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Directed by Ian Bell I Music directed by David Russell Starring Jerick Hoffer & Erin Stewart Music and Lyrics by STEPHEN TRASK I Book by JOHN CAMERON MITCHELL

DEC 17-22 I THE MOORE GROUPS OF 10 OR MORE CALL (206) 315-8054 FOR SINGLE TICKETS CALL (877) 784-4849

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JAZZ ALLEY IS A SUPPER CLUB

Deep Sea Diver Friday, December 20

T

The finest jazz organist on the planet!

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FEATURING GIPSY KINGS FAMILY MARIO REYES AND GEORGE REYES

THURS, DEC 19 - SUN, DEC 22

The Indo-gypsy fusion project returns by popular demand!

DAVID LANZ MON, DEC 23

Grammy-nominated new age pianist celebrates 25th anniversary of Cristofori’s Dream and the release of his brand new CD Movement of the Heart

PONCHO SANCHEZ AND HIS LATIN JAZZ BAND FRI, DEC 27 - TUES, DEC 31

FOUR NYE PACKAGE OPTIONS - visit website!

Grammy-winning Master Conguero Poncho Sanchez and his legendary 7-piece firey Latin jazz band

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NTw.RlittleYreMdhUenS.coIC LIVE COUww m THURSDAY DECEMBER 19TH

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JOEY DEFRANCESCO TRIO TUES, DEC 17 - WED, DEC 18

here’s something completely arresting about seeing Jessica Dobson live. The music she makes as Deep Sea Diver, aided by drummer Peter Mansen (who happens to be her husband) and a rotating cast of friends, is smart, sassy, and wildly danceable. Then there’s her vocal range, which in several songs begins at a creeping falsetto in the opening notes and builds to a feral rock growl. Dobson’s stage presence is dynamic, too: At any given moment, the spunky musician can be seen tapping keys, wrangling the guitar, or shaking the tambourine, all while charming the shit out of everyone in the room with those mesmerizing vocals.

It’s Dobson’s undeniable charisma that makes it unfathomable that she once struggled as a solo artist, held in limbo by a number of record labels. But these struggles didn’t contain her for long. The axewoman was recently hand-picked to play guitar on tour with a bunch of bands (little-known groups like Beck, Spoon, and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs), and last fall she was invited to join the latest incarnation of the Shins, where she honed her monster musical skills even further.

Finding success with her own group was inevitable. Deep Sea Diver is exact. Nothing is messy or out of place—something that likely has as much to do with the members’ pure musicianship as with Dobson’s very precise vision for the band.

“As we walk through the valley of the shadow of death/I feel the fear in your hollow spine is erect,” she hisses on “NWO.” Instantly you feel the emotion in her voice, the pain, anguish, and electricity. The messages delivered through her lyrics are often similarly dark and winding, yet there’s also a sense of redemption, some light at the end of the tunnel. This juxtaposition, paired with her throaty vocals, results in an experience that’s simultaneously brash and soothing.

Smashing Pumpkins. Experimental and wildly unpredictable. Skylark Cafe, 3803 Delridge Way S.W., 9352111, skylarkcafe.com. 10 p.m. $7. DH If the gritty guitar that kicks off BEAR COVE’s “Thick as Blood” doesn’t pull you in, then lead singer Garrett Lamp’s bluesy-rock voice surely will. The trio’s authentic, down-home vibe suggests it’s equally as comfortable playing onstage as at a backyard BBQ. With Heels to the Hardwood, Alotau. Sunset Tavern, 5433 Ballard Ave. N.W., 784-4880, sunsettavern.com. 9 p.m. $6.

21 and over. ACP DAROL ANGER AND THE CASCADIA ALL-STARS If you’ve ever listened to an episode of Car Talk, you’ve heard Darol Anger. The fiddler was a member of the David Grisman quartet for nearly a decade; with Grisman, Tony Rice, and Earl Scruggs he performed Click and Clack’s theme song, “Dawggy Mountain Breakdown.” At this “Keep-It-in-the-Fam Holiday Show,” Anger will be joined by fellow fiddlers, guitarists, and cellists, including Emy Phelps, Mila PhelpsFriedi, Tatiana Hargreaves, and others. Nectar Lounge, 412 N. 36th St., nectarlounge.com. 7 p.m. $15 adv./ $20 DOS. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT There’s an aged quality to DISMAL TIDE’s music that doesn’t match the youth of its creators. The quartet makes classic rock tunes with a touch of blues—songs that wouldn’t sound out of place on a ’70s throwback station but could also fit in on modern-rock radio. The band released its debut album, The Breaks, in October.

With Keaton Collective, Lanford Black. Tractor Tavern, 5213 Ballard Ave. N.W., 789-3599, tractortavern.com.

8 p.m. $8. 21 and over. ACP

Friday, Dec. 20

YOGOMAN BURNING BAND He’s a DJ. He’s an alien.

He’s Jordan Rain. And he’s got a knack for mixing all sorts of music to create original work as Yogoman.

Deep Sea Diver has spent the majority of the past year touring its ass off in support of its debut 2012 release, History Speaks, and writing new material along the way. This show, the biggest it’s played in Seattle in some time, is sure to be another vibes-filled dance explosion. We hope to get a sneak peak at some of those new tunes as well. Without question, Dobson will own the stage. With Bryan John Appleby. Neumos, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9442, neumos.com. 8 p.m. $12 adv. 21 and over. KEEGAN PROSSER

Pulling influences from hip-hop, classic rock, and funk (among others), Rain has been creating dance-friendly experimental music in the Northwest since the early ’90s. With each new release, he continues to push the boundaries of what we might expect. With Guardian Alien, DJ Marc Muller. Columbia City Theater. 9 p.m. $8 adv./$10 DOS. 21 and over. KEEGAN PROSSER After spending much of 2012 on hiatus, blues/garage rock duo MY GOODNESS has been a little more active these days. Since drummer Ethan Jacobsen’s departure last year, new skins man Andy Lum and guitarist/ vocalist Joel Schneider are set to release a 7-inch in February, along with a full-length early next year, too. With XVIII Eyes, Duke Evers. Crocodile. 8 p.m. $12 adv./$14 DOS. JAMES BALLINGER BRANDEN DANIEL AND THE CHICS have a great Pacific Northwest garage sound that recalls the Sonics’ jangled pop and Mudhoney’s sludge rock, with an added touch of New York glam like the Stooges or the Strokes. In fact, the band recently opened for Strokes guitarist Albert Hammond Jr. when he recently played Chop Suey in support of his new solo album.

With Cute Lepers, the Hugs, Brother Janes and the Soul-Vation. Lo-Fi Performance Gallery, 429 Eastlake Ave. E., 254-2824, thelofi.net. 9 p.m. $7. GE Though in the industry for only two years, RL GRIME, aka Henry Steinway, sure has worked with a roster of impressive musicians, including Drake, Kanye West, Rihanna, Benny Benassi, and Chief Keef. Well, kinda.

Grime produces trap and electronic remixes of some of your favorite hip-hop artists’ biggest songs. The 22-year-old has an ear for picking out a song’s most vital parts, accentuating what’s familiar while adding his own spin. His remix of Kanye’s “Mercy,” for instance, for which he teamed with producer Salva, is a massive overhaul of the original—the two completely do away with the verses, though the original’s still immediately recognizable thanks to their manipulation of the chorus.

But Grime, a member of the WeDidIt collective, doesn’t just stick to remixes; the L.A. native already has two EPs of original material under his belt—most recently July’s High Beams—with another in the works for 2014.

The Neptune, 1303 N.E. 45th St., 682-1414, stgpresents. org/neptune. 9 p.m. SOLD OUT. All ages. ACP A Google search of “DANGERFIELD NEWBY” brings up articles about a man who was born into slavery and died during abolitionist John Brown’s 1859 raid on Harpers Ferry. It figures that Jeremy Best, the man behind this indie-pop project, is a history teacher. Best released his sophomore album, The Global Scheme of Things, this summer. With The Loveless Building, We Say Bang. Skylark Cafe. 9 p.m. $7. 21 and over. ACP

ACOUSTIC CHRISTMAS IN BALLARD (NIGHT 1)

This two-night happening is the handiwork of legendary DJ Marco Collins, who has flexed his programming muscle by gathering an eclectic roster of Seattle artists, stripped them of electric accompaniment, and invited them to sings songs of the season. Tonight’s lineup is the more traditional of the two, featuring two of the city’s most celebrated young acoustic balladeers, Kris Orlowski and Noah Gundersen, as well as blues guitar heavyweight Ayron Jones, who doesn’t need electricity to blow your Santa-loving mind. With Braden Blake (Super Deluxe), Ben Carson (Hot Bodies in Motion), Exohxo. Volterra Drawing Room, 5407 Ballard Ave. NW, 789-5100, volterraballard.com. 8 p.m. $15 adv. All ages.

Saturday, Dec. 21

LONELY MOUNTAIN LOVERS describes itself as

ACOUSTIC CHRISTMAS IN BALLARD (NIGHT 2)

dinner & show

The second of Marco Collins two-night musical feast might just have enough juice to generate a Christmas miracle. Macklemore acolytes Wanz and Hollis WongWear headline the evening and should bring some surprises, as both artists have a breadth of talent that goes beyond pop hooks. In support are three of the cities most powerful, soulful voices—Katie Kate, Adra Boo and Radio Raheem’s Josephine Howell. Hold on to your stocking caps. With Hobosexual. Volterra Drawing Room. 8 p.m. $15 adv. All ages.

mainstage WED/DECEMBER 18 - SAT/DECEMBER 28 • SHOW TIMES VARY

land of the sweets

Sunday, Dec. 22

the burlesque nutcracker

HATTERS FOR HIRE To fund its debut EP, this Christian

pop-rock quartet created an Indiegogo campaign that offered some interesting rewards: A $150 pledge bought a batch of homemade cookies; for $500 the group would perform the patron’s yard work. Neither prize was snatched up, but 18 Hours was funded nevertheless, and will be released at this show. With Matt Bacnis Band, Saving Sunsets, Laser Fox, Rob Domos, Lover Fighter. Through Monday. Chop Suey, 1325 E. Madison St., 324-8005, chopsuey.com. 5:30 p.m. $10 adv./$15 DOS. All ages. ACP LIAM GALLAGHER—originally from Belfast—was the first to grace the tiny Kells stage 30 years ago, and he’s still performing traditional Irish favorites, rich with stories and infamous characters he does great justice to. His repertoire also includes American folk-rock and original odes to Seattle. He accompanies his endearing, seasoned voice with a Taylor acoustic guitar; both reverberate among the old pub’s dark, wood-lined walls. Kells, 1916 Post Alley, 728-1916, kellsirish.com.

9 p.m. Free. JM GORILLA BATTLE OF THE BANDS Though Gorilla Music, a Cleveland-based booking company, sued Tacoma garage-rockers Girl Trouble after the band raised concerns online over Gorilla’s questionable “pay to play” ticketing format, the judge ruled in favor of the band and the lawsuit was dismissed. Gorilla Music, however, charges on, and continues to stage its Battle of the Bands at Studio Seven, as it has for years. With Black Bone Exorcism, Jenny’s Last Stand, Esoson, Sorrow’s Edge, C.S.P., Minimum Age, Pariah’s Revolt, Orbiting Giants, Daughter of Lost Albion, Losing Daylight, Arcanum. Studio Seven, 110 S. Horton St., 286-1312, studioseven.us. 4 p.m. $8 adv./$10 DOS. All ages. ACP

SUN/DECEMBER 29 • 7PM

the bobs after christmas holiday show MON/DECEMBER 30 • 7:30PM (17+)

showgirls! the movie hosted by david schmader

TUE/DECEMBER 31 • 7PM DINNER & 10:30PM DESSERT AN NEW YEAR’S EVENING WITH

storm large

THU/JANUARY 2 • 7:30PM - CD RELEASE PARTY!

seth freeman

w/ the cody rentas band SAT/JANUARY 4 • 7:30PM

the brian nova all star big band

Monday, Dec. 23

- a tribute to frank, ray and nat

To say New Age pioneer DAVID LANZ has mastered his craft is an obscene understatement. The Seattle native and Grammy-nominated pianist recently released his 41st recording, Movements of the Heart. Whether he’s playing an original piece or putting his spin on Beethoven, Lanz crafts a dreamy soundscape his website says “paints a lush tapestry of cascading melodies that simmer into graceful refrains.” Jazz Alley. 7:30 p.m. $29.50. ACP

WED/JANUARY 8 • 7:30PM

red molly w/ anne and pete sibley next • 1/9 - 1/11 elvis alive w/ vince mira & guests • 1/12 school of rock performs the beatles • 1/14 emily asher’s garden party • 1/16 kelly joe phelps • 1/17 - 1/19 los lobos • 1/22 george kahumoku jr and led kaapana • 1/24 the big gig: 6 speeds, lo to hi • 1/25 kim virant and gerald collier • 1/28 chieli minucci & special efx • 2/5 patty larkin • 2/6 habib koite • 2/10 duncan sheik • 2/11 dawn of midi • 2/12 - 2/15 the atomic bombshells :: j’adore! a burlesque valentine • 2/16 the presidents of the united states of america • 2/17 an evening with greg laswell • 2/18 & 2/19 sweet honey in the rock • 2/20 hot tuna (acoustic) w/ david lindley

happy hour every day • 12/18 quinn • 12/19 daniel rapport trio • 12/20 gypsy swing happy hour: the djangomatics / mark sexton band • 12/21 junior on the prowl • 12/22 tba • 12/23 crossrhythm session • 12/24 singersongwriter showcase featuring: tba • 12/25 closed for the holiday

Branden Daniel and the Chics COURTESY OF ARTIST

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SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEM BER 18 — 24, 2013

“County, Not Country.” Confused? It’s actually a spoton descriptor when you consider its bluegrass twang and folky group vocals next to its more rock-minded electric guitars. It’s a jumble, but it really does work out in the end. With Hand in the Attic, Mariko Ruhle. Conor Byrne Pub, 5140 Ballard Ave. N.W., 784-3640, conor byrnepub.com. 9:30 p.m. $7. ACP DUFFY BISHOP BAND Known around the Northwest as a star of circus/dinner theater Teatro ZinZanni, blues singer Duffy Bishop has been performing in one capacity or another for years, something that becomes immediately apparent upon seeing her onstage. Bishop has a sly sense of humor, and she and her brassy band are masters of knowing when to be subtle and when to go all-out. Highway 99. 8 p.m. $17. 21 and over. ACP BENEFIT CONCERT FOR HAITI Seattle-based nonprofit Carbon Roots International, which primarily works to promote clean energy and agriculture in Haiti, hosts this benefit concert, reception, and live auction.

With Budo, Gravity Kings, and special guests. Nectar Lounge. Auction 6:30 p.m., concert 8:30 p.m. $50 (concert only $10 adv./$15 DOS). JB Like the highly detailed Gothic-style circular windows that inspired its name, ROSE WINDOWS takes a simple thing—in this case, good old-fashioned classic rock— and infuses it with tastefully layered psychedelia, folding in the exotic rhythms of the Middle East. With Unnatural Helpers, Low Hums. Neumos. 8 p.m. $12 adv.

21 and over. JM Seattle band IVAN & ALYOSHA (named after two of the brothers in Dostoyevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov) has been busy touring, gigging on radio stations, and generally promoting the shit out of itself. It’s been working. Since its debut album All the Times We Had,

featuring the swelling single “Easy to Love” and an overall Beatlesque pop vibe, the group now has hipsters coast to coast smiling and singing along. With Campfire OK, Pacific Gold. Showbox at the Market, 1426 First Ave., 628-3151, showboxpresents.com. 8 p.m. $25 adv./$30 DOS. ALICIA W. PRICE

55

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Annie Ford Band, Annie Ford Band (Dec. 20, self-released, anniefordband.com) Since moving to Seattle and the release of her 2011 demo Dirty Hearts and Broken Dishes, Virginia native Annie Ford has steadily orbited Seattle’s country scene, playing shows with a range of local country artists and bands like Kristen Ward, Ganges River Band, Country Lips, the Swearengens, and Davidson Hart Kingsbery. Her clean, clear vocals—somewhere between Blacklisted-era Neko Case’s and Zooey Deschanel’s—are a fine addition to any bill, not to mention her sharp skills behind an array of instruments, including viola, accordion, banjo, piano, guitar, and clarinet.

A like-minded spread of sounds informs this fine debut; its 11 tracks explore an expanse of Western swing, country, Americana, folk, and rootsrock styles. This collection includes her demo’s title track and another of its songs, “Northern Rain,” but Ford’s heartwarming songbird vocals are at their best in ballad mode, particularly on opener “Both Sides” and the tender “My Brother.” Aided by a capable ensemble including Olie Eshleman’s twangtastic, astral-planing pedal steel and Matthew Manges’ restrained harmonies, this release is a great introduction to an artist whose songwriting, as her bio reads, maintains “a deep connection to the inner workings of the heart.” (Fri., Dec. 20, Sunset) GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT He Whose Ox Is Gored, Nightshade vinyl EP

(Dec. 21, Vita Records, hewhoseoxisgored. bandcamp.com) Last week, this band made the “Year in Band Names 2013” list on The Onion’s “A.V. Club.” He Whose Ox is Gored do indeed have a righteous name, and now it finally has some righteous wax to go with it. The threetrack Nightshade EP combines the two songs from the band’s eponymous (digital-only) 2011 release with “Pyramids on the Horizon” from 2010’s Op Amps II: Into the Ethers. The band labels itself “doom gaze,” but the first thing that came to mind when this EP started playing is Fall of Troy, the post-hardcore Mukilteo band who made a name with noodly, proggy guitar lines. Opener “Nightshade” is sludgy and rattles with gut-rumbling bass, but the guitar takes me right back to F.C.P.R.E.M.I.X. (except maybe slowed down to half speed). Halfway through the atmospheric follow-up, “Charming the Snake,” that Fall of Troy noodling returns. The genre collision is a refreshing take on doom, giving the genre’s typically plodding tempos some forward momentum thanks to the strong melodies. For those not as entrenched in doom metal’s gloom, distinct guitar lines and quicker-paced drumming gives the band a solid hook. The physical record itself is gorgeous—clear, heavyweight vinyl with black splatters. For a backdoor operation at a coffee shop, Vita Records has put out a high-quality product with this reissue, which comes with a foldout poster as well. (Sat., Dec. 21, Chop Suey) KELTON SEARS

The Physics, Digital Wildlife (out now, self-

released, thephysicsmusic.com) This local hiphop group’s fourth album is packed with chill beats, and upholds the trio’s claim to be rightfully synonymous with Emerald City rap. (Put another way by our own Kelton Sears, Digital Wildlife is “smooth as hell.”) After working closely with Blue Scholars for years (and tour-

BRANDON HILL/PARKER

LocaLReLeases

ing with them in 2012), it’s only natural that The Physics would absorb some of that duo’s progressive yet laid-back vibe. “Northern Lights” is a prime example; the track starts with light keys and slowly works in cowbell and bass drum, layering over them the smoothest rap flow on the album. But the similarities between the two Seattle groups end there, as Blue Scholars keeps its lyrical focus distinctly local while The Physics ventures into other subjects, like weed. Lots of weed. (See “Higher Learning.”) Other influences are Frank Ocean in the last minutes of “Am I Crazy?” with Alisha Rodney, a dead ringer for “Sweet Life” from Channel Orange. Yet the key factor here is that The Physics distills these sounds and influences into something all its own; unlike Blue Scholars, the members don’t seem to take themselves too seriously, but Wildlife ’s excellent production aesthetic, well-placed samples, and smooth vocals pick up the slack should the question of credibility or irreverence ever come into play. (Sat., Dec. 21, The Crocodile) ALICIA W. PRICE

Spanish for 100, Six Song EP (out now, selfreleased, spanishfor100.bandcamp.com) The cover of Spanish for 100’s latest release has “est.

2002” written above the band’s name. It’s the perfect descriptor for Six Song EP. Each track feels like a lost relic of early-2000s indie rock, with clean guitars chugging under soaring melodies. It’s no surprise—Spanish for 100 was very much a part of this movement locally. At the time, KEXP Morning Show DJ John Richards even deemed the group “one of the best up-andcoming bands in Seattle.” Hints of Built to Spill’s Ancient Melodies of the Future hang through the jangling guitar tones, especially in Aaron Starkey’s vocals. On tracks like “Physicians,” his voice reaches its upper register with ease. “Arches” feels like a Rilo Kiley B-side with its grooving rhythm section and subtle alt-country undertones. This takes us into indie-dad-rock territory—though cooler dad rock, like Wilco or Superchunk, not adult contemporary like Band of Horses. That said, if you’re not listening hard enough, these tracks tend to blend together. All things considered, there are no real risks or departures from older Spanish for 100 material on this EP, but it excels in what it tries to do. Rock out and rock on, but just quietly enough so Baby can fall asleep in the backseat. DUSTY HENRY E

music@seattleweekly.com

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arts&culture» Liquor Board Reverses Itself on Patient Home Grows

T

he Washington State Liquor Control Board—under heavy patient pressure—reversed itself last week, saying it will recommend to lawmakers that medical-marijuana patients continue to be allowed to grow cannabis in their homes.

Despite the fact that plant

BY STEVE ELLIOTT counts have been reduced, that represents a big victory.

“We’re all in agreement on home grows,” chair Sharon Foster said of the three-member board, which also includes Ruthann Kurose and Chris Marr.

The Board’s previous recommendation—that home growing be outlawed in order to force patients through the recreational channels established by I-502—had produced outrage in the medical-cannabis community.

Since recreational pot users aren’t allowed to grow their own under 502, the rationale was to also ban patients from growing.

LCB members last week said they now recommend that patients be allowed to grow up to six plants, three flowering and three non-flowering. Patients are currently allowed to grow up to 15 plants at any stage of growth. The Board failed to explain why the 15-plant limit—arrived at by the legislature after conferring with experts—is being abandoned.

The outlawing of patient home grows was the most controversial recommendation the LCB made last month. In public comments about the recommendations, preserving home grows was the most common request, made by 362 people in written requests.

It was also the most common refrain at an emotional public-input meeting held in Lacey

last month, in which some 600 patients and advocates packed a room designed to hold 450 people. Patients told board members that home growing provides them with more affordable medicine, and allows them to have strains they might not be able to find in recreationalmarijuana stores. Maybe the board was actually listening, despite intimations by NORML Washington State Director Kevin Oliver that patients were wasting their time testifying.

The Liquor Control Board still recommends that the legislature shut down collective gardens, a move that would effectively end the medical-marijuana dispensary scene.

If that happens, the number of safe-access points in Seattle would drop from more than 200 now to only 21 recreationalmarijuana stores.

State consultants have publicly admitted that they are concerned that the medical-marijuana system will “siphon” potential customers away from the profit-making recreational system, and have called the maintenance of two parallel systems of cannabis distribution “inconvenient.”

The Board wants to allow only those recreational-marijuana stores that get a state endorsement for medical marijuana to serve patients— but state officials haven’t yet determined what the criteria would be for such an endorsement.

That means that a number of the recreational stores might not be “endorsed” to sell to medical patients, leaving medical-marijuana patients with even fewer safe-access points.

Too bad there’s not already an existing system of medical-marijuana collectives which specifically exist to serve patients. Oh, wait—there is!

But the state has decided it’s bad for profits. E

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Apartments for Rent King County Studio in Ravenna for rent $750 206-441-4922

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GUITAR LESSONS Exp’d, Patient Teacher. BFA/MM Brian Oates (206) 434-1942

MARKETING COORDINATOR

Employment Professional DIRECTV is currently recruiting for the following position in Lynnwood/Seattle: Safety Specialist If you are not able to access our website, DIRECTV.com, mail your resume and salary requirements to: DIRECTV, Attn: Talent Acquisition, 161 Inverness Drive West, Englewood, CO 80112.

To apply online, visit: www.directv.com/careers. EOE.

Employment General HOTEL HEAD HOUSEKEEPER (SEATAC, WA) National Brand Economy Hotel is seeking Head Housekeeper dedicated to 100% guest satisfaction.

Our service goal is to provide clean, comfortable accommodations to the traveling public at a reasonable price. Reporting directly to the hotel General Manager, you will be responsible for developing a team that ensures the highest standards of cleanliness and safety of the entire hotel. This is a fulltime, shirtsleeve position with supervisory responsibilities. You will be expected to work a flexible daytime schedule. Prior service as a Head Housekeeper is preferred but we will consider someone with Assistant Head Housekeeper experience. A HS diploma or GED is required.

QUALIFICATIONS • Strong supervisory skills to schedule, assign, inspect and follow-up on work tasks.

• Proven self-starter able to work independently with minimum oversight.

• Demonstrated abilities in room inspection and supply inventory management • Ability to train, test and supervise housekeepers, laundry attendants and housepersons.

• Willingness to perform all cleaning tasks as necessary to meet hotel daily goals as necessary • Understanding of basic safety and chemical handling procedures.

• Ability to speak, read and write in English; verbal Spanish communication helpful.

COMPENSATION: Starting wage is commensurate with experience.

BENEFITS: Health, dental and life insurance available; paid personal time off (PTO) HOW TO APPLY Please forward your resume and a brief cover letter telling us why you are the person for this job. tzett@pendevserv.com Successful applicants must be able to demonstrate legal permission to work in the United States at time of hire.

We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.

COME JOIN THE WAVE TEAM! Wave Broadband is now seeking an

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The Daily Herald, Snohomish County’s source for outstanding local news and community information for more than 100 years and a division of Sound Publishing, Inc. is seeking a Marketing Coordinator to assist with multi-platform advertising and marketing solutions of print, web, mobile, e-newsletters, daily deals, event sponsorships and special publications as well as the daily operations of the Marketing department.

Responsibilities include but are not limited to the coordination, updating and creation of marketing materials across a range of delivery channels, social media, contesting, events, house marketing, newsletters and working closely with the Sr. Marketing Manager to develop strategies and implement the marketing plan. The right individual will be a highly organized, responsible, self-motivated, customer-comes-first proven problem-solver who thrives in a fast-paced, deadline-driven environment with the ability to think ahead of the curve. We offer a competitive salary and benefits package including health insurance, paid time off (vacation, sick, and holidays), and 401K (currently with an employer match.)

If you meet the above qualifications and are seeking an opportunity to be part of a venerable media company, email us your resume and cover letter to hreast@soundpublishing.com No phone calls please.

Sound Publishing is an Equal Opportunity Employer (EOE) and strongly supports diversity in the workplace. Check out our website to find out more about us! www.soundpublishing.com

Marchex, Inc. seeks Sr. Strategic Client Mgr. 2 for Seattle, WA location to create meaningful value through quality client perf. execution, analysis, and strategic customer acct. growth.

BBA w/coursework in Marketing & 5 yrs. of client mgmt. or other rel. exp. OR MBA w/coursework in Marketing & 3 yrs. of client mgmt. or other rel. exp. reqd.

Prior exp. manipulating data; generating reports on key metrics; working w/product devel. teams; and leading training sessions reqd. Adv. Excel reporting & knowl. reqd.

Limited travel may be reqd. to remote offices or business meetings/events. Qualified candidates submit resume to employment@marchex.com.

HELP WANTED!!

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Employment Computer/Technology CyberSource Corporation, a Visa Inc. company, currently has openings in our Bellevue, Washington location for: - Sr. QA Engineers (133402) to plan, write, execute, and refactor manual and automated test cases to provide story coverage. Some travel may be required to work on projects at various, unanticipated sites throughout the United States.

Apply online at www.visa.com and reference Job #133402.

EOE

Mobile Integration Architect sought by Windermere Solutions in Seattle, WA to dsgn sftw prods. BS in CS / Comp Apps / Infrmtcs / rltd + 7 yr exp in sftw dvlpmnt. Advncd pgmng skls w/Ruby, Python, or Java; exp w/frnt-end JavaScript frmwrks & libs e.g. jQuery or Backbone.js; 5 yr exp wrkng w/dsgn ptrns; 5 yr exp wrkng w/RESTful web serv intrfcs; 1 yr exp w/Single-Sign On (SSO) authentication frmwrks e.g. Open SSO or CAS; 1 yr exp wrkng on iOS or Android mbl appln pltfrms; 1 yr exp w/DVCS e.g. GIT. Auth to wrk in US. Aply @ www.jobpostingtoday.com #1788.

Classified @ 206-623-6231, to place an ad

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Caregivers Needed!

F/T & P/T, “Live In” & Hourly.

Must be CNA.

Abandoned Vehicle AUCTION!!!

MISSING DOG - LOGAN. Missing since August 10th from Auburn area. Sightings in Kent and Bellevue. Mini Blue Merle Australian Shepherd. Very scared and skittish.

Please call Diane at 253-486-4351 if you see him. REWARD OFFERED.

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SEATTLE WEEKLY • DECEM BER 18 — 24, 2013

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