Seattle Weekly, March 20, 2013 by Sound Publishing

MARCH 20-26, 2013 I VOLUME 38 I NUMBER 12

SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM I FREE

GIRLS GONE GODARD! PAGE 25 | JET-SET BREAKFAST PAGE 30 | WORST. GIG. EVER. PAGE 37

Roy Alloway’s 2,000 Gun Salute The only thing more shocking than an ex-cop’s gun racket is how few laws he broke running it. BY RICK ANDERSON

ALSO: The Dems Who Kept the Gun-Show Loophole Open p. 7 How Voters Could Close It for Them p. 9

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VOLUME 38 | NUMBER 12

“5,000 years of Chinese music and dance in one night.” —The New York Times

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Washington Democrats who killed a recent background-check bill.

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BY RICK ANDERSON | How could a suburban grandpa sell as many as 2,200 guns without a license—and get away with it for so long? It helped to be an ex-cop.

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news»The Daily Weekly »DISPATCHES FROM OUR NEWS BLOG

The Dirty Half-Dozen

A who’s-who of gun-control obstruction. C

ep. Jamie Pedersen knew from the get-go that it would be an uphill battle. Still, there was hope, he said, that somehow House Democrats could cobble together 50 votes to require background checks for all gun sales. But in the bitter end, House Bill 1588 came up three votes short, despite an extraordinary full-court press by Speaker Frank Chopp, Gov. Jay Inslee, and even calls to crucial legislators from Gabby Giffords, whose astronaut husband, Mark Kelly, recently bought an assault rifle at a Arizona gun store to demonstrate the cursory nature of most background checks. “Chopp worked liked a trict; Kevin Van De Wege, whose 24th District dog. He was crushed that we couldn’t get there,” encompasses much of the Olympic Peninsula; Pedersen, the bill’s prime sponsor, told Seattle 31st District Rep. Christopher Hurst of SnohomWeekly in an interview yesterday afternoon. “It’s ish County; Kathy Haigh, whose 35th District the most disappointed I’ve ever seen him.” is centered in Shelton; and 17th District Rep. If there is a ray of sunshine, it’s that the meaMonica Stonier of Vancouver. sure to expand background checks to private gun The central argument against the bill was sellers came nearer than ever to passing. The bill probably best summarized by Rep. Matt Shea, passed out of committee before Chopp decided R-Spokane Valley, who said, “There were a lot against bringing it up for a floor vote, knowing it of concerns from people that we were going to would be defeated. “It’s been quite a disappointcriminalize law-abiding citizens.” (To read how an ment, but this kind of thing has never even gotten ostensibly legal gun dealer put thousands of guns out of committee,” noted the Seattle Democrat. From the outset, Pedersen figured he’d need Gun activists may not mind three Republican votes. All he got was that of Rep. Mike Hope of Snohomish County, who Pedersen background checks, but called “courageous.” Rep. Maureen Walsh, R-Walla Walla, was on they consider a database of board for a time. In fact, she was an original cotheir names to be sponsor, but was unable to weather the enormous pressure put on her by gun-rights activists, includ“a significant intrusion.” ing the NRA. on the street, see page 10). “I knew we couldn’t get Walsh,” Pedersen On Tuesday night, after it looked as though the added. “That vote was too tough for her, what bill was off the table, the House Democratic Cauwith the district she’s in. But I did think Linda cus gave Pedersen a loud ovation. Kochmar [R-Federal Way] was possible, and she Democratic consultant Christian Sinderman should have been for it, and I think this is going to conceded that the bill’s defeat took some of the hurt her in 2014.” wind out of the sails of the Washington Alliance Pedersen, a Yale law graduate elected to the for Gun Responsibility. House in 2006, said he and Funded by venture capiSpeaker Chopp were able to talist Nick Hanauer, the get all the Democrats that PRINT IS GREAT, but if you want to see what happens when Alliance is a new activist “were gettable,” which basiteens stop hitting the bottle, check it out group, which Sinderman cally left six Democrats— on The Daily Weekly. is advising, that intends to most of them hailing from SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM/DAILYWEEKLY launch a public campaign either heavily Democratic to pressure lawmakers to though conservative districts pass gun-control legislation. Mandating backor tough-to-hold swing districts—who would not ground checks is priority #1. and could not be budged. Of the defeat, Sinderman says “When you have They are: Reps. Brian Blake and Dean Takko, who represent southwest Washington’s 19th Dis» CONTINUED ON PAGE 9 M

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news»The Daily Weekly The Daily Weekly » FROM PAGE 7 one narrow interest group defining the debate, it’s difficult to turn that around. . . . We’re going to stay engaged.” ELLIS E. CONKLIN

Will Voters Get Checks Anyway?

Why Government Assistance and Medical Pot Sometimes Mix Want to buy medical marijuana with your state-issued Electronic Benefit Transfer (EBT) card? If the state Senate has its way, you won’t be able to for long. That’s because on March 12, by a vote of 39-10, the Senate passed Senate Bill 5279, which would add marijuana and medical marijuana to the list of items prohibited from EBT-card purchases—a list that includes alcohol, tobacco, lottery tickets, bail bonds, tattoos, and body piercings. Sponsored by Sen. Mike Carrell (R-Lakewood), SB 5279 is being sold as a way to keep state cash benefits intended for “items related to child care,” as The Capitol Record blog put it, from being used for pot. But whether or not you support the idea, this description doesn’t fully tell the tale of how EBT cards work or the implications of the proposed legislation. Carrell’s point seems sensible enough, but it’s only partially accurate. While the bulk of state and federal assistance doled out via EBT cards is intended for single parents and families, other programs—like the state Aged, Blind, or Disabled Cash Assistance Program—also use the cards to distribute funds. The ABD program provides a maximum monthly cash grant of $197 to Washington residents who meet income and resource requirements and are 65 or older, blind, or have a long-term medical condition that meets federal disability criteria. In other words, these are folks who could benefit from the use of medical marijuana. But SB 5279 prohibits the purchase of medical marijuana via EBT cards no matter what program the money on the card comes from. Moreover, parents can use cash assistance for a wide array of things: housing, food, transportation, and over-the-counter and prescription drugs, among others. So why can’t the state allow qualified medicalmarijuana patients who happen to be parents to use cash benefits for this legitimate medical purpose—as medical marijuana has been classified under state law since voters approved it in 1998? Because of the stoner stigma attached to medical pot, of course. Battling this stigma, and fighting for the medical rights of the poor, is the exact reason that Tacoma’s Sen. Jeannie Darneille pushed for an amendment that would have excluded qualified medical-marijuana patients from SB 5279’s restrictions. “There are all kinds of reasons for people to utilize medical marijuana,” Darneille tells Seattle Weekly. “Even poor people. “Over the years the legislature has just added more and more ways the EBT can’t be used,” she continues, noting the injustice of preventing a parent receiving cancer treatment or battling pain from obtaining a state-sanctioned treatment option simply based on their economic status. “This one just goes a little too far,” Darneille says. MATT DRISCOLL E

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SEATTLE WEEKLY • M ARCH 20 — 26, 2013

To shore up votes for his ill-fated bill, Rep. Jamie Pedersen had hoped the addition of a referendum clause, to put the issue on the ballot in November, might persuade some of the less-dugin gun-rights advocates on both sides of the aisle to reconsider their opposition. That effort backfired—and actually caused some background-check supporters to argue that it would be terribly unwise to run a referendum in an off-year, low-turnout election. “Some said it would be too risky to put it on the ballot, because if it lost, we [the legislature] might never take the issue up again,” Pedersen said. But it might not be such a crazy idea. To understand why, listen to David Roland, point person on the issue for the libertarian Freedom Foundation, a strong supporter of gun rights. While raising objections to other bills, like a proposed ban on assault rifles, he tells Seattle Weekly that the background check bill was “far less of a concern. A lot of gun activists are perfectly happy to see background checks.” Indeed, even the region’s most combative and influential gun activist, Alan Gottlieb of the Second Amendment Foundation, considered supporting Pedersen’s bill. Dave Workman, editor of the Foundation publication TheGunMag, recalls that he and Gottlieb drove to Olympia for the hearing last month so that Gottlieb could testify against the bill. But after the hearing, he saw Gottlieb and Rep. Mike Hope, the lone Republican to support the bill, in a corner. “They were having an intense conversation,” Workman says. Afterward, Workman says Gottlieb told him that Hope had asked what bill supporters could do to make the legislation acceptable to gun activists. Gottlieb had some ideas, the most central of which was to remove a state registry of gun owners compiled from background checks. The registry is what gun activists “are really worried about,” Roland confirms. They may not mind background checks, but they consider a database of their names to be a “significant intrusion.” Gun owners aren’t the only ones to fear a government registry. Ironically, a proposed registry has also long been a sticking point for marijuana activists—usually on the opposite side of the political spectrum from the gun crowd—as various bills on pot have moved through the legislature. Ultimately, the failure to work out that issue in the background-check bill played a large part in its demise. It is sure to resurface if an initiative goes on the ballot. Workman doesn’t discount the possibility that common ground could be found. But even if it isn’t, he doesn’t dismiss the initiative’s chances. “The voting demographics have changed” to become far more liberal since the last time a guncontrol initiative was put before the voters in 1997, he says. “We’re one of two states in the country to legalize marijuana. We have gay marriage. We voted twice for Barack Obama. The voters elected Jay Inslee over Rob McKenna.”

Plus, he says, he doesn’t know whether the national gun-rights lobby “wants to throw a few million dollars into Washington state when there’s a lot going on around the country.” NINA SHAPIRO

SEATTLE WEEKLY • MARCH 20 — 26, 2013

Dawson trafficked in hot street handguns, one of which was subsequently used in a January 2012 shooting in South Lake Union. The gunman was arrested after three young men were seriously wounded and several cars were struck by bullets outside the nightclub Citrus, which this month was declared a “chronic nuisance” and faces closure by the city due to that shooting and other crime incidents. But Dawson also saw himself as a potential international gun supplier of drug-war arms. The federal informant, posing as an associate of a Mexican narcotics cartel, offered to buy highpowered weapons for use against Mexico’s federal police. Dawson was able to come up with four assault rifles that had been stolen in a residential burglary. When the sting came down and officers went to arrest the 20-year-old father-to-be last April, he tried to flee in his car, crashing it into other vehicles. He was arrested at gunpoint by officers who found a loaded 9mm Kel-Tec pistol in his glove box. Dawson was in jail awaiting trial with his five co-conspirators when his girlfriend gave birth to their daughter in July. He turned 21 in December. Last month, his relatively brief gun-trafficking career over, he went off to prison. Assistant U.S. Attorney Nicholas Brown told a federal judge that Dawson had “the capacity for violence and an affinity for firearms.” Dawson said that wasn’t the real him. He apologized for his weapons dealing, telling the court “I am ashamed to be here because I was not raised to sell guns.” It wasn’t convincing. “You were directly involved in providing firearms that would hit the streets without any concern of where they would go or how they would be used,” said U.S. District Judge Richard A. Jones. He gave Dawson a five-anda-half-year sentence for illegally selling eight weapons and being a felon in possession. Federal officials say the bust of Dawson and his fellow gun-runners took 25 weapons off the street, along with a silencer. The gang of six took advantage of the underground arms market made possible by the gun-show loophole and other systemic gun-tracking failures. Such off-the-book sales—done without a Federal Firearms License at shows or on the streets—led to an untraceable void. In such

JOHN LANG

oshua Shelby Dawson is your stereotypical local weapons peddler: an innercity black kid from a broken family who grew up around guns. His best friend was shot to death, and, as a Seattle teenager, Dawson himself took a bullet in the back. He was convicted as a juvenile of a carjacking in which he held a gun to the victim’s head. Last year, a jobless felon with a pregnant girlfriend, he turned to selling guns. He joined five others who stole most of their weapons and resold them on the street— sometimes, unfortunately for them, to an undercover federal informant.

cases, neither the transaction nor the weapon’s trail are recorded, and the gun effectively falls off every radar the government has. As it is, no one knows who buys, sells, and owns most of America’s 300 million firearms. Congress, lobbied by money-bearing gun-rights groups warning of door-to-door government gun grabs, long ago forbade the creation of a federal gun registry. As the gun-control debate grew louder in the wake of the December 14 Newtown, Conn., school massacre by a gunman using a military-style AR-15 semi-automatic rifle to kill 20 firstgraders and six educators, groups such as the National Rifle Association grew even stiffer in their resistance to change. President Barack Obama’s gun-control proposals were quickly rejected by a suspicious NRA, which sees Obama’s proposed universal background checks and other measures as a move toward creating that feared central gun registry. Today, therefore, only after a weapon has been used in a crime can the federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms even begin to record some of its history, and even then it’s a low-tech trail. As Charles Houser, who runs the ATF’s National Tracing Center in West Virginia, recently told The Associated Press, “It’s not CSI and it’s not a sophisticated computer system.” Some of the records, he said, are actually stored as digital pictures that can only be searched one image at a time. The “manually intensive process” of a routine search sometimes takes five days, and can include sorting by hand through old paper records. In the Dawson case, the stolen guns were returned to their owners and their serial numbers entered into the ATF system. They can now be traced—should they show up in another crime. Dawson has a more durable tracking number: inmate 41543-086, traceable until November 2016 within the U.S. Bureau of Prisons system. He’s currently at the Sea-Tac Federal Detention Center. Court paperwork indicates he will wind up at the minimum-security facility in Florence, Colorado. There he could share the grounds with Roy Alloway, who arrived at Florence, 90 miles south of Denver, last February. Alloway was a gun runner, too. But unlike Dawson, Alloway, a 58-year-old white suburban grandfather with an otherwise clean record, didn’t fit the stereotype. In fact, he may be the Northwest’s most untypical illicit gun dealer ever. Whereas Dawson sold eight guns in a few months without a license, Grandpa Alloway sold more than 700 in a few years, although federal officials say the true number may be closer to an astonishing 2,200 guns. But then, Alloway had the advantage of wearing a badge. He was a cop, supposedly on the other side of the law from Dawson. Yet as a local police officer and a detective on a federally backed drug task force, he could exploit an opportunity Dawson never had: the police loophole. Law-enforcement agencies are allowed to sell guns seized at crime scenes or otherwise discarded to pad their coffers—a legalized form of crime-gun redistribution that brings embarrassment on the departments when the resold weapons are used for violent crime. Most departments have policies controlling who buys their guns, limiting sales to major dealers. But the system still allows an unscrupulous insider

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 12

SEATTLE WEEKLY • M ARCH 20 — 26, 2013

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Using his prestige as a police officer and the gun-show loophole, Roy Alloway was able to sell thousands of guns without a license.

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like Alloway to put the guns back on the streets. In what is now considered a legendary instance of gun-running, Alloway worked within that system to peddle his weapons, some of which later showed up at crime scenes. And by operating out of gun shows watched over by fellow law-enforcement agents rather than working the jittery backstreets of Seattle, he was able to keep suspicious investigators at bay far longer than small-time dealer Dawson could dream of doing.

Edmonds

n January 2001, Aryan Nations white supremacist Buford Furrow Jr. was sentenced to life in prison without parole for his blood-spattered hate-crime assault on the North Valley Jewish Community Center day-care facility near Los Angeles. He wounded three children, a receptionist, and a counselor in the 1999 assault, using several clips to fire 70 rounds with a 9mm Norinco semi-automatic rifle, originally designed for the Israeli Army. While fleeing, he stopped and used a Glock 9mm handgun to kill a Filipino U.S. Postal Service carrier, shooting him nine times because he was nonwhite and worked for the government. A native of Lacey, Furrow had driven south from Tacoma, where he’d bought a used Chevrolet van and loaded it with a small arsenal of weapons, thousands of rounds of ammo, and an armored vest. After the shootings, he dumped the van and took an $800 taxi ride to Las Vegas,

where he turned himself into the FBI, saying he hoped his actions would be “a wakeup call to America to kill Jews.” To no one’s surprise, Furrow turned out to have spent some months prior to the shooting in a Seattle psychiatric ward and being examined by doctors at Western State psychiatric hospital. He told doctors he’d fantasized about committing a mass murder. He eventually was turned loose and told to take his meds. So where did the mentally disturbed killer get his weapons? Furrow, it turned out, had been a federally licensed firearms dealer from 1992 to 1995, and likely stockpiled weapons. The rifle used in the North Valley shooting was not traceable. But the Glock used to murder postal worker Joseph Ileto was. Though he had a felony conviction and could no longer lawfully possess a weapon, Furrow was able to buy it from an unlicensed dealer at a Spokane gun show. The Glock had passed through the hands of several previous owners, but the original buyer, for $450, was the little Cosmopolis Police Department, across the bridge from Aberdeen in Grays Harbor County. Then-Police Chief Gary Eisenhower told reporters that none of his officers liked the weapon because it was too light, so he traded it to a dealer for a bigger Glock. It wouldn’t have made economic sense to destroy a new weapon and buy a more expensive one, he said. Nonetheless, hearing of Furrow’s rampage, the chief admitted, “We’re just devastated. This is not something that we’d like to have notoriety for.” It was a devastation that other police departments wanted to avoid, prompting departments around the nation to rethink their gun-sale

policies. In Washington, under a state law revised in 1993, each city and county had the option to decide whether to put confiscated weapons up for sale or destroy them. Liberal Seattle already had a policy against reselling weapons, and in fact defied the 1980s state law that required police to sell forfeited weapons (instead, Seattle stockpiled its confiscated guns, at one point storing more than 8,000 firearms, then eventually melted them down after the law changed). Following the L.A. shootings and policy changes, King and Snohomish Counties adopted policies similar to Seattle’s, and within a year Bellevue and other entities followed suit. Others didn’t, creating a crazy quilt of police gun-sale policies across the state. And the law still requires one agency to sell, not destroy, its surplus weapons—the Washington State Patrol. A majority of legislators, while granting local governments the option to destroy weapons, nonetheless felt it was a waste of guns and money for the WSP to do so. State Patrol spokesperson Bob Calkins says the policy “has benefits to taxpayers.” The patrol, in one sale last year, earned $42,000 in credit selling more than 200 guns to a licensed dealer. WSP will use the credits to buy guns or ammo for the department, “but another example might be something as simple as elbow pads for our SWAT team,” says Calkins. “It’s whatever we need that the dealer carries. Items made for police service can be expensive, and by trading we save the taxpayer a pretty penny.” And, Calkins says, the sales are carefully managed, traded in bulk to “licensed gun dealers who have to do background checks for subsequent resale. We don’t do single-gun sales to individuals. We don’t trade weapons used in high-profile crimes. And we of course don’t trade weapons that would be illegal for someone to possess.” Still, law-enforcement agencies in Washington have sold some serious weaponry. According to data contained in forfeited-property reports filed with the Office of the State Treasurer,

not keep close track of where weapons go after they sell them, until they wind up in the type of crime scenes that police endeavor to prevent. Stats as basic as the number of guns sold annually by Washington police to licensed dealers aren’t kept by the state. The State Treasurer’s office monitors only whether cities and counties have paid the state the required 10 percent on the sales. “Each police department files its report and includes a check for 10 percent of all the forfeited property they sell, including cars, motor homes, or whatever,” says office spokesperson Chris McGann. “They include the itemized list, but all we really track is the check.” One such check in a recent batch of records was reported by the West Sound Narcotics Enforcement Team, known as WestNet—the antidrug crime team that Alloway was assigned to for most of 10 years. It’s anyone’s guess whether any of the $3,800 in handguns WestNet sold during a three-month period in 2011 eventually found their way to Alloway’s hands and America’s murky gun markets. But there’s no doubt that over the years, the cop funneled dozens of WestNet guns, and perhaps thousands from other sources, into that private morass.

Convicted gun dealer Shelby Dawson, left, and murderer Buford Furrow, right.

which includes the police sale of confiscated guns, weapons recently sold by the Thurston County Narcotics Task Force included an AK-47 and a Norinco military-style rifle—the latter similar to the one Furrow had used to shoot up the day-care center. Central Washington University police sold a Bushmaster assault rifle similar to the weapon used by gunman Adam Lanza in the Newtown shootings. And as Alloway’s case has shown, even under the strictest controls, government agencies can-

Stats as basic as the number of guns sold annually by Washington police to licensed dealers aren’t kept by the state. The State Treasurer’s office monitors only whether cities and counties have paid the state the required 10 percent on the sales.

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 14

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AP PHOTO / REED SAXON

Los Angeles police chief Bernard Parks displays the weapons Buford Furrow used in his shooting spree, including a Glock 9mm handgun the Cosmopolis, Wash., police department had sold to raise money for new guns.

hen the news first broke that Roy Alloway, celebrated narcotics officer, had been arrested for running more than 400 guns in recent years, people were amazed. But, Seattle Weekly has learned, further investigation would show that wasn’t the half—or even the quarter—of it. Consulting Alloway’s confiscated private sales records, federal agents were eventually able to track his sale of 743 guns from 2004 into 2010. During the last four years of that period, he deposited almost $180,000 from his gun business, paying no taxes on the proceeds. As the office of U.S. Attorney Jenny Durkan explains, those numbers were lowballs. The number of guns Alloway actually sold could be “at least two times greater,” according to Assistant U.S. Attorney Bruce Miyake. That works out to a minimum of 2,229 weapons. In an interview, Miyake, who prosecuted Alloway last year, says, “There was no complete record of the number of guns he sold in the secondary market,” due to the gun-show loophole that allows unrecorded sales by an unlicensed gun dealer. “But in talking with some of the people who went to the gun shows, and some of his friends who were familiar with his sales, investigators were able to determine he sold many, many more guns” than 700, Miyake says. “People at the gun shows warned him about selling so many guns,” Miyake adds. “They were amazed that he got away with it for so long.” Alloway, heavily built with small penetrating eyes and a handlebar mustache, became a Bremerton cop in 1978. A North Kitsap High School grad, he’d served in the Air Force during Vietnam, then worked at jails in Phoenix and Kitsap County. On the Bremerton force, he worked as a uniform officer and moved to an undercover drug unit in 1978. He told his hometown newspaper, the Kitsap Sun, that he was drawn to “the whole idea of blending into the criminal organization, and trying to do what you can to put them in check.” He hooked up with WestNet in 1998, operating out of the Kitsap County Sheriff ’s Department, becoming what the Sun called the “go-to guy for grow ops.” As the point man for WestNet, a splashy, federally funded state/local task-force operation whose choppers flew over marijuana grows from

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The 2,000-Gun Salute » FROM PAGE 13 the Seattle suburbs to the Kitsap and Olympic peninsulas, Alloway was lauded by his fellow cops. But medical-marijuana producers considered him a notoriously overeager door-buster, earning him the questionable honor of having a strain of weed named after him, “Alloway 420.” In a December 2011 profile of WestNet, the Tacoma News Tribune reported that one in five cases that the drug-busting “cowboys” of WestNet presented to prosecutors were insufficient to bring to trial due to weak or sloppy evidence. Though Alloway was a star of the drug team, he was “a long-term headache in his own department,” the paper found. “His personnel file reveals multiple suspensions and reprimands. Many revolved around ethical lapses and indifference to rules and legal procedure.” He often failed to show for court hearings, ran an aborted campaign for county coroner while still on the police clock, and allegedly sprayed mace on the car door handles of fellow officers he didn’t like. It’s unclear when he began to focus on confiscated weapons for his own fun and profit. But as far back as 1992, according to Bremerton police records, Alloway was disciplined for dereliction of duty after he took two crime guns from the evidence room and traded them to a local gun dealer. Though the exchange was for weapons the department needed, the city attorney had warned that such swaps were illegal. Alloway got the discipline overturned by an arbitrator. But as federal investigators have learned in recent years, the detective went on to spend a lot of time in the Kitsap County Sheriff ’s property and evidence sections, on the prowl for weapons to buy and resell. The sheriff ’s office sold most of its seized firearms to a licensed Tacoma buyer known as Law Enforcement Equipment Distribution, or LEED. While LEED—which has an extensive online sales operation—offers some of its gear and self-defense products to the public, it limits sales of firearms (from semi-automatic pistols and submachine guns) to law-enforcement personnel. But whether cops were buying weapons for police and personal use or for resale was another question. Alloway, for one, was reselling—and putting thousands of dollars into his pocket. At times, according to federal prosecutor Miyake, the detective would volunteer to transport firearms to LEED that he’d in turn purchase and resell at gun shows. He kept no record of the buyers he sold to, nor sought background checks, as licensed dealers must. The resold crime guns then disappeared into the void. Alloway began to frequent gun shows in 2004 at the latest, prosecutors say, brought by another WestNet officer, then-Shelton cop Troy Wiktorek. Soon Alloway was buying and selling at the weekend gun marts. Prosecutor Miyake says gun-show sales became “an obsession” with Alloway, and his rapid, high-volume dealing caught the eye of undercover ATF agents. Private gun sellers like Alloway are one of the agency’s focuses, since they supply 80 percent of the weapons used in U.S. gun crimes. Highvolume dealers must be authorized sellers—fingerprinted and subjected to background checks. Once licensed, their firearms transactions have to be recorded and open to inspection by the ATF. The seller also has to notify the IRS of his or her ongoing business operation. Alloway did none of that. He passed himself

off as a hobbyist or collector who could sell a gun here and there without a license. In early 2005, ATF Special Agent Brad Devlin warned both Alloway and Wiktorek they were buying or selling too many guns as unlicensed dealers. Devlin had been able to determine that Alloway alone had bought 54 handguns in just five months, and said he was giving the two cops a warning as a “professional courtesy.” The agent also told Alloway that the ATF was planning to audit LEED’s books, and that his multiple gun deals could be detected, prompting “additional focus” on him. According to Alloway’s handwritten notes, obtained during the investigation, he took the agent’s advice more as informational than threatening. “Brad will stop any further review at this time,” Alloway wrote in a memo to himself. The agent, Alloway noted, had said a gun purchase of one per week was “OK.” Nonetheless, Alloway continued to buy and sell at a high rate, obtaining 51 more guns over the next eight months. He tapped into the closeby supply of LEED and other licensed dealers, as well as unlicensed dealers and online gun markets. And he worked his inside game. Prosecutor Miyake says that at times, “custodians observed Alloway walking through the Kitsap evidence room, pointing out guns to Wiktorek and discussing what would be profitable to buy and sell.” In the fall of 2005, ATF warned Alloway a second time, telling him that if he continued to deal in a high volume of guns, he would have to obtain a license. This time a copy of a warning

Alloway “bought and sold on the secondary market, so there’s no way to know what guns were used in a crime.” notice was sent to Bremerton Police and placed in his personnel file. It had no effect. In 2005, Alloway sold at least 140 guns without a license; the next year he would sell at least 158 that the ATF knew of. Alloway bought himself more time in 2006, when he and Wiktorek opened a storefront gun dealership in Mason County called Renegade Guns and obtained a federal license for the business. As agents would later learn, while Wiktorek followed the law as a federal licensee, Alloway continued to buy and sell off the books. “In fact,” says prosecutor Miyake, “he used the cover of the Renegade Guns business to further his private selling.” At gun shows, Alloway would rent tables next to Wiktorek to make it appear that both were licensed. But Alloway sold his guns without doing paperwork or requesting background checks, further exploiting the federal government’s patchwork gun regulations. It wasn’t until November 2010, six months after Alloway had retired after 32 years as a Bremerton and WestNet cop, that ATF agents showed up at Alloway’s secluded home in Port Orchard with a search warrant, seizing 58 firearms. What took so long? ATF Special Agent Cheryl Bishop says that after Alloway hooked up with Wiktorek, obtaining a firearms license for their business, “it appeared Mr. Alloway had heeded ATF warning letters and was operating

with a Lakewood gun dealer, and has “tweaked” its gun-sales procedures, retaining more weapons for use in training or destroying more if they are of little value. The days of a detective like Alloway roaming the gun room for weapons to peddle are over, says Wilson: “It’s just not gonna happen.” Nonetheless, police guns still flow into the private market, and even a gun store that limits sales to law enforcement can end up becoming a major supplier of cop guns to phantom buyers. As the Alloway case shows, all it takes is one multitasking rogue cop.

ast February, having pleaded guilty, Alloway went before a federal judge in Tacoma asking to be forgiven. Miyake had asked U.S. District Court Judge Ronald Leighton to lock up Alloway for almost four years. But Alloway’s attorney, Robert Goldsmith, argued that a year of electronic home detention, along with the public shaming Alloway had received from his arrest, was “sufficient but not greater than necessary” punishment. Numerous friends and fellow officers filed letters of support with the court, seeking leniency. One, Richard McCluskey, praised Alloway’s “integrity” and “high level of qualifications.” Another, Steve Emm, wrote that he has “attended gun shows and I know that 90-plus percent of the vendors at these shows are unlicensed retired people who are buying, selling, and trading guns and accessories as a hobby, just like Roy was doing. They don’t claim income on their taxes any more than people attending swap meets or engaged in frequent yard sales do.” Alloway’s “mistake of judgment,” his attorney said, “was not rooted in any evil intent, but was an incredibly dumb interpretation of the law.” Alloway stuck to that line when he briefly addressed the judge, according to an account in the News Tribune. “I guess I’d just say that this warning thing [by the ATF agent]—I’m sorry I didn’t understand that better. To me, it asked me to define where I fit. That was probably my mistake, is where I thought I fit.” He apologized for the confusion and sat down. His daughter, JoAnn Gurney, tearfully asked the judge not to send Alloway to prison because “you’re basically signing his death warrant.” He’d likely be the target of the criminals he’d helped send to the same prison, she explained, from the same courtroom he was now awaiting his own sentence in. Judge Leighton was unimpressed. Alloway’s career as a cop who sold more than 700 guns without a license “is not a technical violation,” he said to the audience. “It’s a total abdication of his responsibility under the law.” He gave Alloway two years. Today the ex-cop is halfway through his sentence. Bankruptcy-court papers show that he and his wife—with whom his daughter and her children live—have filed under Chapter 13 to reorganize and repay their debts, amounting to $286,000, with assets of $349,000. Alloway receives retirement pay of about $6,000 a month and owns, among other assets, a $17,000 2011 Harley-Davidson, debt-free. When he left policing in 2010, he told his hometown paper he was looking forward to spending more time on the things he loves— hunting, fishing, gardening, and guns. “I plan,” he added, “to ride my Harley into the sunset.” That will have to wait until sometime after January 11, 2014, his current release date. Then again, that’s almost three years earlier than the release of Joshua Dawson, the gun-runner without a badge. E

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within the bounds of the law.” Emily Langlie, spokesperson for U.S. Attorney Durkan, says that in 2010 her office asked ATF to take another look at gun shows because they were a major source of illegal guns. Alloway then reappeared in the ATF’s crosshairs, along with other gun-runners including David Devenny, 70, of Olympia, whose illegal sales included an assault rifle that was later used to kill Seattle police officer Tim Brenton on Halloween 2009 (see “Punishment Capital,” Seattle Weekly, Feb. 20, 2013). In March 2011, Alloway was indicted with buying and selling more than 700 guns without a license. Going over his business and bank records, the IRS totaled $179,000 in gross gun receipts, from which he’d netted at least $36,000 in a fouryear period, failing to pay about $8,700 in taxes. Though its gun-tracing abilities are limited, the ATF was able to determine that at least two of the guns sold by Alloway had gotten onto the market after having been stolen from their owners. Another eight guns bought and then sold by Alloway had been recovered at crime scenes, including incidents of assaults and illegal firearms possession. One handgun, a Smith & Wesson .38 bought by Alloway in 2008 and sold on the black market sometime thereafter, was recovered in a 2010 aggravated-assault investigation in Chehalis. The city’s police chief, Glenn Schaffer, says the weapon was one of up to 40 recovered during a warranted search at the home of a man who’d attacked another person with a knife. Officers took all the weapons for “safekeeping,” says Schaffer. But “because none of the firearms were used in the commission of a crime and did not have any evidentiary value in this case, they were all released to a friend of the owner.” Another of Alloway’s guns, a Ruger pistol, traveled a crime route from one police department to another. It had been confiscated by Camas (Clark County) Police in 2003 and subsequently sold to a licensed dealer. In 2005, Alloway bought the Ruger from the dealer and sold it on the black market sometime afterward. In 2008 it was recovered by Seattle Police after a robbery. According to a May 30, 2008, SPD report, the gun had been used in a U District holdup and carjacking in which a suspect had put the silver Ruger to the head of a man who was robbed of $60 and forced to turn over both his 1999 Mercedes and its title. The Mercedes was later recovered and the suspect arrested. “It’s really hard to get a sense of how many of these guns ended up in the wrong person’s hands,” says Miyake. “[Alloway] bought and sold on the secondary market, so there’s no way to know what guns were used in a crime.” Because LEED sold police-confiscated guns that were all entered into the ATF tracking system, the feds were able to get a read on just how big a customer Alloway had become. Altogether during his six most-active years as a gun-runner, Alloway bought 507 weapons from LEED. Seventy-seven of them had initially been seized by either the Kitsap sheriff or WestNet, sold to LEED, then bought and recycled by the detective. “Alloway,” wrote Miyake in a court memo, “indiscriminately purchased all types of guns, particularly inexpensive guns favored by street criminals, which the business side of him knew would sell quickly.” They included semi-automatic rifles and handguns such the Mac-1- and Mac-11, along with numerous AR-15s. He also sold knives, ammunition, and flak jackets. He “blithely went about selling guns to anyone who would pay him,” Miyake said. Because of Alloway’s dealings, the Kitsap Sheriff no longer sells its guns to LEED, says spokesperson Scott Wilson. The agency now partners

SEATTLE WEEKLY • MARCH 20 — 26, 2013

the»weekly»wire fri/3/22 DANCE

Nine on the Field

It’s spring, and baseball fans are watching the Mariners welcome new players, curious to see whom they might like to root for during the new season. For local dance artists, the BOOST Dance Festival is a similar kind of tryout, a welcome chance to get their work in front of an audience. Many of them are at the beginning of their careers as dancers and choreographers—as new to us as we are to them. This is the kinetic equivalent of a really packed smorgasbord—nine different choreographers and a stageful of dancers; you probably won’t like them all, but you’ll find someone to love. (Through Sun.) Erickson

Theatre off Broadway, 1524 Harvard Ave., 9498643, boostdancefestival.com. $18. 8 p.m. SANDRA KURTZ

FILM

Cold Fate

TOM NGUYEN

thurs/3/21 BOOKS

The Prince of Punk

actually the surface that’s interesting, even though it’s often deception.” The Rendezvous, 2232 Second Ave., 441-5823, jewelboxtheater.com. Free. 21 and over. 7 p.m. BRIAN MILLER FESTIVALS

Constant Variety

dium, 4301 Leary Way N.W., moisturefestival. org. $10–$22. 7:30 p.m. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT

sat/3/23 COMEDY

High and Low

Always presenting a fresh show, comedian Brian Regan has a wacky-but-cerebral, cleanbut-mature style that makes him a perfect fit for just about any audience. He’ll punctuate a cleverly written punchline with a goofy face, mix a sophisticated gag with a bit of slapstick. Regan will question the unique loyalty of sports fanatics one night; the next he’ll reminisce about his childhood follies at the science fair; and the next he’ll discuss the bizarre actions of his young kids and his fitness for fatherhood. The Paramount, 911 Pine St.,

877-784-4849, stgpresents.org. $42.50–$49.50. 7 p.m. DANA SITAR

JOHN CORNICELLO

In its 10th year, the annual variety circus known as the Moisture Festival offers something for everyone. At three venues, this year’s performers will include clowning doctor Patch Adams (yes, the real guy depicted in the Robin Williams movie), who lectures on humor and health; cowgirl Karen Quest, who lassos tricks with her dizzying lariat; and Scott Land Marionettes, the folks who supplied Team America: World Police with their wee wooden cast. Don’t pretend you’ve forgotten the puppet sex. But Land’s little minions aren’t always so smutty, and the Moisture Fest’s matinees are always aimed at families. At night, consenting adults can enjoy burlesque performances by familiar local acts like Waxie Moon, Tamara the Trapeze Lady, and The Swedish Housewife. From Montreal, Duo XY is two hunky dudes, Thomas and Justin, who met while working at Cirque du Soleil. You won’t believe how they hang, swing, gyrate, and bend from the trapeze. Ron W. Bailey and Simon Neale are your MCs, with live music from Doc Sprinsock and the SANCApators. (Through April 14; also at Broadway Performance Hall and SIFF Cinema Uptown.) Hale’s Palla-

10th Ave., 624-6600, elliottbaybook.com. Free. 7 p.m. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT

5755, landmarktheatres.com. $8.25. Midnight. (Repeats Sat.) BRIAN MILLER BOOKS

Two Is the Loneliest Number

They say when an identical twin’s twin dies, the surviving sibling is immediately at risk. In the case of Christa and Cara Parravani, the pair shared not only identical features, but a turbulent family history, a love of the arts, and similar career and relationship paths that deepened their bond. In Christa Parravani ’s memoir Her (Henry Holt, $26), after Cara is brutally raped, she spirals into depression and drugs, ultimately overdosing on heroin. Christa’s response is equally self-destructive:

Waxie Moon is back for this year’s Moisture Festival.

SEATTLE WEEKLY • M ARCH 20 — 26, 2013

Any good memoir strikes a balance between truthful remembrance, graceful writing, and settling old scores. Punk-rock musician Richard Hell (born Richard Meyers) mostly accomplishes all three in I Dreamed I Was a Very Clean Tramp (Ecco, $25.99), which stops when he quit music in 1984. (Since then he’s been a noted poet, novelist, and journalist.) Hell is revered as a church father of the early-’70s punk scene on New York’s Lower East Side, where Television—founded with his prepschool buddy Tom Verlaine—was the house band at CBGB. There, too, were Blondie, the Ramones, and Talking Heads. And in the audience was Malcolm McLaren, who—in Hell’s telling, at least—copied his safety-pinned style and took it back to England, where the Sex Pistols made punk a global phenomenon. Hell is not modest about his place in the world, and he’s entitled to some exaggeration and self-aggrandizement. Though he scored one hit, “Blank Generation,” with his band the Voidoids, he’s been fighting footnote status for 30 years. Everyone, famous or not, tends to mythologize their youth. Hell is no different. Yes, he’s still bitter about Verlaine kicking him out of Television, and he’s in denial about how his drug use probably made that inevitable. But he’s been clean for decades, and he’s got stories that few others have survived to tell from that era of frantic new Boomer invention. “What’s deepest down inside is boring,” Hell writes. “It’s

Forde became famous for all the wrong reasons. (See Tuesday, page 19.)

Stalked by a shape-shifting, DNA-infiltrating alien on their Antarctic base, Kurt Russell and company dissolve into mutual suspicion and distrust. The beast could be inside any of them, so you have to shoot your pal—or incinerate him with a flamethrower—without hesitation to save your own skin. John Carpenter’s 1982 The Thing is a reverse guys-on-a-mission flick, where unit cohesion falters and leader turns against crew. It’s morning in America, and utter darkness at the South Pole. The 1951 original came during the Cold War, when sci-fi was younger and fresher. Carpenter’s take, like his hero, is entirely more cynical. Like the 1979 Alien, it pits an expendable blue-collar crew against an implacable, mutable foe. (When one victim’s decapitated head sprouts spider legs and scurries away, my favorite line is a crewman’s despondent “You gotta be fucking kidding.” Who can beat a thing like that?) A prequel, released in 2011, didn’t capture the hardbitten spirit of the Carpenter/Russell version. These fatalists essentially expect the worst. And they get it. (R) Egyptian, 801 E. Pine St., 781-

She turns to drugs, becomes anorexic, and her marriage falls apart. Recounted through intimate details of the sisters’ relationship, Parravani doesn’t shy away from uncomfortable memories, the ugliness of sibling rivalry, or the candid nature of her grief. The author does use a flowery hand to speculate upon family details in the time before she was conceived. But then, when she and Cara were formed together, a tangled mass of chromosomes, she could not have predicted how she’d outlive her twin—as she does, barely—to honor the story of their shared memories. Elliott Bay Book Co., 1521

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 19 17

SEATTLE WEEKLY • MARCH 20 — 26, 2013

Weekly Wire » FROM PAGE 19

sun/3/24 VISUAL ARTS

Feedback Aesthetic

Hammering Man is 21 years old, and the cityowned sculpture, so beloved by tourists, guards SAM’s old entrance at University and First. But the museum’s new, true entrance to its expanded home is a block north at Union. To help draw tourists and dawdle the Duck, a new LED installation is being inaugurated on SAM’s northwest corner today: MIRROR , designed by Doug Aitken. The horizontal array employs sensors that manipulate digital images recorded by Aitken during his prior visits to Seattle and Washington state. Weather, traffic, passersby, and other dynamic factors will drive the algorithms that govern MIRROR. The goal, says Aitken, is for the work to “move on its own and constantly create its own sequences, patterns, and compositions.” (The work was commissioned by the late Bagley Wright—another generous gift from this city’s most important arts patron.) As part of today’s festivities, SAM admission is free, Seattle Symphony members will perform (see Ear Supply, page 22), and First will be closed for a block party featuring food trucks and other fun. (And yes, Hammering Man will unfortunately be in attendance, doing his same old thing, oblivious to what’s around him.) Seattle Art Museum, 1300 First Ave., 654-3121, seattleartmuseum.org. Free. 10 a.m.–9 p.m. Music and dedication ceremony at 6:30 p.m. BRIAN MILLER

tues/3/26 BOOKS

Blood and Sand

Seattle journalist David Neiwert is intrigued by borders—not geographic ones, but the less-definite lines that delineate mainstream conservatism from the violent right. That his latest crime tale, And Hell Followed With Her: Crossing the Dark Side of the American Border (Nation

Way N.E., 634-3400, bookstore.washington.edu. Free. 7 p.m. DANIEL PERSON

Rembrandt, Van Dyck, Gainsborough: The Treasures of Kenwood House, London is organized by the American Federation of Arts and English Heritage. It is supported by an indemnity from the Federal Council on the Arts and the Humanities, with additional funding from the Samuel H. Kress Foundation. In-kind support is provided by Barbara and Richard S. Lane.

Seattle Presenting Sponsor

Image credit: Mary, Countess Howe (detail), ca. 1764, Thomas Gainsborough, English, 1727–1788, oil on canvas, 95 3/4 x 60 3/4 in., Kenwood House, English Heritage; Iveagh Bequest (88028783), Photo courtesy American Federation of Arts. Seattle Presenting Sponsor

Image credit: Mary, Countess Howe (detail), ca. 1764, Thomas Gainsborough, English,

SEATTLE WEEKLY • M ARCH 20 — 26, 2013

Books, $26.99), focuses on an immigrant family’s 2009 murder where Mexico meets Arizona provides Neiwert with some tidy metaphors. But the issues he seeks to understand here are pertinent to anywhere the Tea Party still marches: How much talk of border enforcement is just poorly veiled racism? Do groups that make millions baiting the fears of white America have the ability or desire to control the true believers who, to borrow a phrase from Sarah Palin, go rogue? Members of the vigilante movement figured out that Everett’s Shawna Forde, a former Seattle prostitute, could be trouble soon after she started making jaunts down to the desert to help patrol the border in 2006. It’s a sad, tawdry story that our Rick Anderson put on the cover of SW soon after the double murder. Now Neiwert drills down deeper into the forces that impelled Forde to kill a 9-year-old girl and her father. (Also: Elliott Bay Book Co., 7 p.m. Wed., March 27, and Secret Garden Books, 7 p.m. Fri., March 29.) University Book Store, 4326 University

arts»Opening Nights P Good People SEATTLE REPERTORY THEATRE, 155 MERCER ST. (SEATTLE CENTER), 443-2222, SEATTLEREP.ORG. $12–$80. RUNS WED.–SUN. ENDS MARCH 31.

My five sisters still live close to where my mother’s third husband (of six) moved us in grade school: El Paso, Texas. They are all defiantly bluecollar, and most never finished high school. To get away from our alcoholic and abusive parents, they did what so many did—got pregnant and married (often in that order), just like my late mother. When one sister recently heard I was in Pisa,

Dr. Mike (especially as portrayed by Bolger) can’t seem to stay in the moment long enough to look at himself. As a result, the tone wavers somewhere between Good Will Hunting and a top-notch sketch from The Carol Burnett Show. If the text is imperfect, the tech work is stunning, thanks to James Youmans’ sets and Charlie Morrison’s lighting. You won’t find better craft anywhere in the industry. And a note to composer/sound designer Scott Killian: We want those set-change tunes expanded into fulllength songs we can buy in the lobby, please. KEVIN PHINNEY

P Modern Masterpieces MCCAW HALL, 321 MERCER ST. (SEATTLE CENTER), 441-2424, PNB.ORG. $28–$173. 7:30 P.M. THURS.–SAT. & 1 P.M. SUN. ENDS MARCH 24.

GERRY GOODSTEIN

SEATTLE WEEKLY • MARCH 20 — 26, 2013

McLaughlin as Margie, the avenging Southie.

she asked what I was doing in France. Sometime later, she expressed appreciation for my correcting her use of the word “regiment” instead of “regimen” when talking to her doctors. She told me this was funny. We both knew it also hurt. David Lindsay-Abaire would understand. Class envy gets an up-close look in his walloping good dramedy, which considers two lives connected by a Boston subway line that appear to be in parallel universes. Margie (Ellen McLaughlin) is a true “Southie” who’s always lived paycheck to paycheck while also providing for a mentally handicapped adult daughter needing constant supervision. At the outset of Good People, she’s fired from her job as a checker at the Dollar Store. Margie can’t get to work on time—mostly because Dottie (Cynthia Lauren Tewes), her scheming, slothlike landlady, doesn’t care for waking up in time to watch Margie’s daughter. Now Margie is out of a job, rent’s overdue, and Dottie’s ready to move her relatives into Margie’s apartment. Wanting to explore every option, Margie takes the advice of her gal-pal Jean (Marianne Owen) to look up an old boyfriend who “escaped” South Boston and now enjoys a successful practice as a physician. That’s where the play lifts off in earnest, as Mike ( John Bolger) tries to have it both ways—he’s a well-to-do doc, but he wants everyone’s respect as a self-made man. Margie sees it differently. To her, he’s nothing more than “lace-curtain Irish,” meaning a guy who got lucky and now considers himself superior to the Southies he left behind. Most of the second act takes place in Mike’s Chestnut Hill home—a swank crib boasting more off-white than a chapter of Moby Dick. There, Margie forces Mike to confront his past as his wife (Zakiya Young) looks on in disbelief. Lindsay-Abaire has a gift for capturing women at their most courageous and conniving—and director David Saint lets his actresses rip. Unfortunately, the male characters are cardboard cutouts: Dollar Store manager Stevie (Eric Riedmann) turns out to be a beleaguered good samaritan, and

In some alternate universe, Twyla Tharp is teaching upper-level mathematics and experimental physics to graduate students. In this universe, she’s applying those concepts to dancing bodies, and In the Upper Room is one result. The closing work in Pacific Northwest Ballet’s “Modern Masterpieces” program, the 1986 dance combines breakneck ballet, fiendishly complex modern sequences, and a wealth of pop-culture references. It doesn’t leave the audience humming a tune so much as vibrating in sympathy with the cast as they hurtle through space to Philip Glass’ valiant score. The program opens at the opposite end of the spectrum, with George Balanchine’s sublimely contemplative 1941 Concerto Barocco, which translates Bach into kinetic terms. Balanchine assigns two violin lines to a pair of female soloists, so that we follow the music’s call and response pattern through their dancing, while the corps and an intermittent male partner amplify the structure. The movement is so exposed and the patterns so clear that the work is a 20-minute final exam in ballet skills for everyone onstage. Between these bookends are a pair of works that take very different approaches to ballet conventions. Ulysses Dove came from the moderndance world, but relished the opportunity to use virtuoso ballet vocabulary. His Dancing on the Front Porch of Heaven (1993) is full of speeding turns and elastic stretches, all in the service of a melancholy theme. Although the work deals with loss and grief, his emphasis is on transcendence, and the fundamental nobility of ballet underlines that focus. Paul Gibson is ballet born and bred. His day job, as one of PNB’s ballet masters, is to help dancers continue to refine their fundamental skills. Appropriately, his new Mozart Pieces is a beautiful example of the danse d’école, the “steps of the school.” He’s crafted a blithe series of small ensemble dances, with a nod to ballet’s baroque heritage and the manners of Mozart’s times. Coming after a long run of Roméo et Juliette, the dancers seem to relish the variety of this program, with exuberant performances across the boards. Carrie Imler opened and closed the show last Friday, skimming through Concerto Barocco and exhibiting her formidable skills in Upper Room. Kaori Nakamura continues to astonish audiences with her vibrant presence, but the endurance prize would go to Lindsi Dec, who appears in all four works with considerable aplomb during the run. SANDRA KURTZ E

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BEETHOVEN’S SY M PHO NY NO. 5

WYCKOFF MASTERWORKS SEASON / WOLFGANG SERIES David Afkham, conductor Gautier Capuçon, cello

Gautier Capuçon

One of the most popular works on the classical stage, the Fifth is also deeply embedded in our popular culture, from cellphone ringtones to an unforgettable disco adaptation in Saturday Night Fever. Gautier Capuçon’s performances generously underwritten by Jane and David R. Davis. Thursday sponsored by

Friday sponsored by

March 28 & 30

R IM SKY- KO R SAKOV’S SCHEHERAZADE WYCKOFF MASTERWORKS SEASON

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Andrey Boreyko, conductor Maxim Rysanov, viola Seattle Symphony Chorale

Through March 31

Andrey Boreyko

Let your imagination run wild with picturesque music about enchanted lakes, mythical rivers and the voyages of Sinbad.

TO M M Y DO R SEY O R C HESTR A SEATTLE POPS SERIES Sponsored by Nick Hilscher, vocals Tommy Dorsey Orchestra The Tommy Dorsey Orchestra — undeniably one of the best all-around dance bands — comes to Benaroya Hall to perform the music that put Dorsey and Sinatra on the map.

family4th.org

Performance does not include the Seattle Symphony.

The Family 4th at Lake Union is produced by One Reel, a nonprofit 501(c)(3) organization. All donations are tax-deductible. The campaign goal of $500,000 must be realized by March 31 in order to produce the 2013 event.

Tommy Dorsey Orchestra

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SEATTLE WEEKLY • M ARCH 20 — 26, 2013

April 4–7

arts»Performance B Y G AV I N B O R C H E R T

Stage OPENINGS & EVENTS

BLACK EYED BLONDE Unexpected Productions’

improvised “pulp noir” murder mystery. Unexpected Productions Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 587-2414, unexpectedproductions.org, $7. Opens March 21. 8:30 p.m. Thurs. Ends May 2. CANDY BASKET COMEDY SHOWCASE Abbey Drake headlines. Capitol Club, 414 E. Pine St., 325-2149, the capitolclub.net. Free. 8 p.m. Wed., March 20. THE GINGERBREAD HOUSE In Mark Schultz’ dark comedy, two parents seeking some alone time sell their kids. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave., 324-5801, schmeater.org. $15–$23. Opens March 22. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Sat. Ends April 20. GREY GARDENS It’s impossible to watch the Maysles brothers’ 1975 documentary Grey Gardens without wondering how its mother/daughter subjects ended up in their isolated, decrepit estate, full of cats and trash. How did these well-born women become such bizarre, sometimes incomprehensible characters? Edith Bouvier Beale and her daughter Edith were, after all, cousins of Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis, but the contrast between their lives couldn’t be more shocking. The Tony-winning 2006 musical Grey Gardens, jointly produced here by ACT and the 5th Avenue Theatre, takes some liberties with the backstory of Big Edie and Little Edie, adding songs to boot (music by Scott Frankel, lyrics by Michael Korie, book by Doug Wright). Under the direction of Kurt Beattie, Jessica Skerritt plays the young and beautiful Little Edie in Act 1; she dreams of showbiz stardom and is engaged to Joseph Kennedy (JFK’s older brother). The songs she sings are flashy and snazzy, reflecting Little Edie’s gilded lifestyle. But the sea change occurs at the end of Act 1, when Big Edie (Patti Cohenour, who plays the decadesolder older Little Edie in Act 2) inadvertently ruins her daughter’s future. Act 2 is the story we know from the Maysles’ doc, set 30 years later in the crumbling household where Big Edie (now Suzy Hunt) and Little Edie share a strange codependency. Though Skerritt doesn’t appear in Act 2, she says the songs change and get sadder: “The music is more atmospheric and

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Send events to stage@seattleweekly.com, dance@seattleweekly.com, or classical@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings. = Recommended

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EarSupply

» by gavin borchert

SEATTLE WEEKLY • MARCH 20 — 26, 2013

C for Celebration

The piano starts: tinktinktinktinktinktinktinktinktinktinktinktinktinktinktinktink. In a few seconds the rest of the ensemble joins in, half as fast: bRAAH, bRAAH, bRAAH, bRAAH, bRAAH, bRAAH, bRAAH, bRAAH. You’re probably hearing a saxophone in your head right now, if you got to know Terry Riley’s In C from the landmark 1968 Columbia recording—but it could be any sound, since Riley didn’t specify which or how many instruments are needed for his piece. All he provided in his score was 53 melodic cells, from one to 17 notes long, and a few simple instructions. Each musician plays each cell for as long as he or she likes before moving to the next, fitting it all against the piano’s grid of steady eighth notes—and the

spooky . . . It reflects the changed aura of the place and the squalor they’re now surrounded by.” ERIN K. THOMPSON ACT Theatre, 700 Union St., 292-7676. $55–$77. Previews end March 21. Opens Fri., March 22. Runs Tues.–Sun.; see acttheatre.org for exact schedule. Run extended (already!) through June 2. HOW TO DISAPPEAR COMPLETELY Itai Erdal’s stage memoir “combines two of the most important stories in his young life: his career as a lighting designer and the events that followed his mother asking him to take her life.” On the Boards, 100 W. Roy St., 217-9886, onthe boards.org. $12–$20. 8 p.m. Thurs., March 21–Sun., March 24. KERPLUNK Experimental musician Tim Root’s new theater piece blends “Kagel, Kaprow, and Kafka” and also features features Beth Fleenor, Eric Barber, and Bill Horist. Chapel Performance Space, 4649 Sunnyside Ave. N., timrootmusic.com. $5–$15. 8 p.m. Fri., March 22. THE LITTLE MERMAID The Brown Derby Series— gender-bent, homage/parody stagings of cult films— takes on Disney. Re-bar, 1114 Howell St., brownderby series.com. $18. 8 p.m. Thurs., March 21–Sat., March 23. MOISTURE FESTIVAL SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 17. THE MUSIC MAN The 5th presents one more performance, starring the young actors of its “Rising Star Project.” 5th Avenue Theatre, 1308 Fifth Ave., 625-1900, 5thavenue.org. $29 and up. 8 p.m. Fri., March 22, 2 & 8 p.m. Sat., March 23. PIGGYBACK Unexpected Productions mixes stand-up and drama, as the former determines how the latter unfolds. Unexpected Productions Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 587-2414, unexpectedproductions.org. $5. Opens March 24. 8:30 p.m. Sun. Ends May 5. BRIAN REGAN SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 17. SOMETIMES LOVE A reading of Zheng Wang’s dramedy about gay romance. Shoreline Center, 18560 First Ave. N.E., shorelinearts.net. Free. 7 p.m. Mon., March 25.

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CURRENT RUNS

ACROSS A LITTLE RED MARKER Jim Moran’s tangled

mystery. Odd Duck Studio, 1214 10th Ave., eclectic theatercompany.org. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. Ends April 7.

THE ADVENTURES OF GILBERT & SULLIVAN

Improv operetta: The librettist and composer themselves become characters in a Victorian fantasy (or wherever the audience decides to send them). Wing-It Productions, 5510 University Way N.E., 781-3879, jetcity improv.com. $12–$15. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Fri. Ends April 19. CEDAR & THE REDWOODS Copious Love Productions’ original play is set during a road trip through Northern California. Washington Hall, 153 14th Ave., 800-8383006. $12–$15. Opens March 14. Runs 7 p.m. (most) Thurs.–Sat.; see copiouslove.org for exact schedule. Ends April 6.

communal result is an irresistible bubbling, teeming with intricate detail on the surface but slowly morphing underneath as F sharps and later B flats start to infiltrate and adulterate the title key. Riley himself will be in Seattle this weekend for a performance of In C, outdoors on First Avenue, to celebrate the unveiling of MIRROR, Doug Aitken’s LED installation at SAM (see the Wire, page 17). Leading the ensemble of 35 or so musicians

is trombonist Stuart Dempster, who played not only on that recording but in In C ’s premiere nearly 50 years ago. Seattle Art Museum, 1300 First Ave., 654-3121, seattleartmuseum.org. Free. 6:30 p.m. Sun., March 24.

arts»Performance CIRQUE DU SOLEIL Featuring characters named

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Craig Ferguson lens), and, in what weirdly turned out to be the show’s funniest bit, borscht-belt comic “Red Bottoms.” Soprano Kristin Clayton plays Brünnhilde, PNB alumna Ariana Lallone adds statuesque beauty with her dance routines, and the “Vertical Tango” team of Sam Payne and Sandra Feusi return from TZ’s previous show to earn the evening’s wildest applause. Wall-to-wall music—”Norwegian Wood,” Grieg, The Police, Carmina burana, and Queen—seasons the five-course dinner spread out leisurely among the impressive acrobatic acts and nudge-nudge shtick. GAVIN BORCHERT Teatro ZinZanni, 222 Mercer St., 802-0015. $106 and up. Runs Thurs.–Sun.; see dreams. zinzanni.org for exact schedule. Ends May 12. TRAILS Two childhood friends reunite to hike the Appalachian Trail in this new musical drama (book by Christy Hall, music by Jeff Thomson, lyrics by Jordan Mann). Village Theatre, 303 Front St. N., Issaquah, 425392-2202. Runs Wed.–Sun.; see villagetheatre.org for exact schedule. Ends April 21.

Dance

• PACIFIC NORTHWEST BALLET SEE REVIEW,

ROCKIN’ PIANO SHOW

You name it, We’ll celebrate it! Anniversary Birthday Corporate Event Divorce Engagement Foreclosure Graduation Happy Hour Independence Day Just Because Kicking Back Looking for Fun Marriage Night On the Town

By William Shakespeare Directed by Jon Kretzu

PAGE 20.

PACIFIC NORTHWEST BALLET Their narrated, hour-

long Hansel and Gretel, starring PNB School students, is an excellent intro to ballet for kids. McCaw Hall, Seattle Center, 441-2424, pnb.org. $22–$67. 3:30 p.m. Sat., March 23. PROJECT 6 Seattle Dance Project is mounting a trio of works by choreographer Jason Ohlberg. ACT Theatre, 700 Union St., 292-7676, seattledanceproject.org. $20– $25. Opens March 22. 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat. Ends March 30. THE WRECKING BALL A bittersweet evening of social dance and performance at the soon-to-be-torn-down Avalon Ballroom. Washington Dance Club, 1017 Stewart St., 628-8939, washingtondance.com. $14–$18. 8 p.m. Sat., March 23. BOOST DANCE FESTIVAL SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 17.

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Classical, Etc.

March 13–April 7 Center Theatre at Seattle Center

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MOVIES • METROPOLITAN OPERA AT THE Parsifal. See metopera.

Wagner’s mystical ritual/opera, org for participating theaters. $24. 6:30 p.m. Wed., March 20. TRAVIS BRASS The brass ensemble from the United States Air Force band. Benaroya Hall, 200 University St., seattlesymphony.org. Free. 7:30 p.m. Wed., March 20. MUSIC OF HUCK HODGE The UW faculty composer transforms unorthodox sounds into sonic tapestries. Henry Art Gallery, 4100 15th Ave. N.E., 543-2280, henry art.org. Free. 7 p.m. Thurs., March 21. SEATTLE SYMPHONY Britten’s Cello Symphony (with soloist Gautier Capucon), plus Beethoven and Mozart. Benaroya Hall, 200 University St., 215-4747, seattlesymphony.org. $19–$122. 7:30 p.m. Thurs., March 21, noon Fri., March 22, 8 p.m. Sat., March 23. ALPIN HONG This energetic young pianist performs, program TBA. Kent-Meridian Performing Arts Center, 10020 S.E. 256th St., Kent, 253-856-5051, kentarts.com. $15–$25. 7:30 p.m. Fri., March 22. BACH SUITE MARATHON The 25th annual gathering of local cellists to play, tag-team-style, the 36 movements from Bach’s six solo cello suites. Phinney Ridge Lutheran Church, 7500 Greenwood Ave. N. Free. 10 a.m. Sat., March 23. NORTHWEST CHAMBER CHORUS Fauré’s Requiem is quiet and consoling—none of that Last Judgment argle-bargle. Phinney Ridge Lutheran Church, 7500 Greenwood Ave. N., 523-1196, northwestchamber chorus.org. $12–$22. 7:30 p.m. Sat., March 23. SEATTLE BAROQUE Byron Schenkman, Ingrid Matthews, and Nathan Whittaker play a few of Haydn’s neglected piano trios. Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave., 325-7066, earlymusicguild.org. $15–$40. 8 p.m. Sat., March 23. CELEBRATE WORLD MUSIC New works by local composers for exotic instruments (didgeridoo, bagpipes, and more) and orchestra. Benaroya Hall, 200 University St., 215-4747, celebrateworldmusic.com. $30. 2 p.m. Sun., March 24. MUSIC NORTHWEST SSO members Seth Krimsky and Laura DeLuca join pianist Jane Harty for wind trios by Piazzolla, Wayne Horvitz, and others. Olympic Recital Hall, S. Seattle Community College, 6000 16th Ave. S.W., 937-2899, musicnorthwest.org. 3 p.m. Sun., March 24. IN C SEE EAR SUPPLY, PAGE 22. SEATTLE CHINESE ORCHESTRA Traditional and contemporary works. Cornish College/PONCHO Concert Hall, 710 E. Roy St., 726-5066, cornish.edu. 7 p.m. Sun., March 24.

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SEATTLE WEEKLY • M ARCH 20 — 26, 2013

Miranda and Cali (as in Caliban), Cirque du Soleil’s new Amaluna is loosely inspired by Shakespeare’s The Tempest. But in place of sorcerer Prospero, the force that conjures up the eponymous storm is a she: Prospera. And like the acrobatic twists and turns of Soleil’s circus troupe, Amaluna flips the familiar plot with mostly distaff casting. The action is set on a “mysterious island governed by Goddesses and guided by the cycles of the moon.” There, the love of young Miranda and her shipwrecked suitor—now named Romeo—is put to the test. Created and directed by Diane Paulus, this touring show isn’t heavy on plot. Kids will appreciate the acrobats, juggling, and colorful costumes, and the traveling Grand Chapiteau, a climate-controlled, 2,600-seat tent, only adds to the spectacle. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT Marymoor Park, 6046 W. Lake Sammamish Pkwy. N.E., Redmond, 800-450-1480. $43.50 and up. See cirquedu soleil.com for exact schedule. Ends March 24. CLIFFHOUSE Macha Monkey presents Allison Gregory’s rather Hitchcockian-sounding play. Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave., 800-838-3006, brownpaper tickets.com. 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat. Ends March 30. CROSSING DELANCEY Seattle Jewish Theater Company presents staged readings of Susan Sandler’s play of Manhattan romance. Performances through March 30; see seattlejewishtheater.com for full info. DISTRACTED Lisa Loomer’s dramedy looks at a 9-yearold who may or may not have ADD. Bainbridge Performing Arts, 200 Madison Ave. N., Bainbridge Island, 842-8569, bainbridgeperformingarts.org. $19– $27. 7:30 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 3 p.m. Sun. Ends March 24. GOOD PEOPLE SEE REVIEW, PAGE 20. IMPROMPTU Music and theater are blended through improv. Unexpected Productions Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 587-2414, unexpectedproductions.org. 8:30 p.m. Fri.–Sat. Ends March 30. IMPROV HAPPY HOUR Early-evening spontaneous theater. Unexpected Productions Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 587-2414, unexpectedproductions.org. $5. 7 p.m. Fri.–Sat. JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR An all-female production seems a little out-there for Burien, but good for them. Burien Little Theater, S.W. 146th St. and Fourth Ave. S.W., Des Moines, 242-5180, burienlittletheatre.org. $7–$20. 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. Ends March 24. LATE NIGHT WITH LUCIFER “All Hell breaks loose when Satan is late to host his live late-night talk show . . . leaving his woefully inept co-host, Anna Nicole Smith, to start the show which features dead celebrity guests.” The Ballard Underground, 2220 N.W. Market St., ghostlighttheatricals.org. $5.10:30 p.m. Fri.– Sat. Ends March 23. LOVE’S LABOUR’S LOST Shakespeare’s comedy timetravels to the 1920s. Center House Theatre, Seattle Center, 733-8222. $22–$45. Runs 7:30 p.m. Wed.–Sat. plus weekend matinees; see seattleshakespeare.org for exact schedule. Ends April 7. MARCH IS CABARET MONTH On four Saturdays in March, the cream of local cabaret performers. Egan’s Ballard Jam House, 1707 N.W. Market St., 789-1621, ballardjamhouse.com. $15 + 2-drink min. 7 & 9 p.m. Sat., March 23 & 30. NEXT FALL Adam and Luke fall in love in Geoffrey Nauffts’ 2010 play, but there’s one problem: Adam’s an atheist, Luke a believer. ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave. S.W., 938-0339, artswest.org. $10–$34.50. 7:30 p.m. Wed.–Sat., 3 p.m. Sun. Ends April 6. PAPER BULLETS John E. Ellis resets Much Ado About Nothing in tabloid journalism. Ballard Underground, 2220 N.W. Market St., 395-5458, ghostlighttheatricals. org. $12–$15. 7:30 p.m,. Thurs.–Sat. plus 2 p.m. Sun., March 24. Ends March 24. SPF VII It stands for Solo Performance Festival. Solo performers include Jennifer Jasper, Peggy Platt, Lisa Koch, and others; see theatreoffjackson.org for complete lineup and schedule. Theater Off Jackson, 409 Seventh Ave. S. $15. Ends March 23. SWEENEY TODD Recommended for ages 13 and up, Studio East cautions. Well, I would hope so. Studio East, 11730 118th Ave. N.E., #100, Kirkland, 425-8201800, studio-east.org. $12–$14. 7:30 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 2:30 p.m. Sun. Ends March 24. TEATRO ZINZANNI: DINNER AT WOTAN’S The Norse mythos may at first seem an odd fit for Teatro ZinZanni’s voluptuous red-velvet atmosphere (one thing Viking culture was not was sybaritic), but here’s how they make it work as the theme of their new dinner circus/cabaret: It’s Ragnarok eve, aka the final battle of good vs. evil, and Wotan and the rest of the Wagnerian pantheon are ready to par-tay! Geoff Hoyle plays “Dinner at Wotan’s” host—and his mother (something like Dame Edna seen through a

GIMME CULTURE! ARTS DIRECTORY

arts»Visual Arts B Y G W E N D O LY N E L L I O T T

Openings & Events • BENEFIT GARAGE SALE Textiles, antiques, art

objects, and more for sale at this benefit for Belltown’s most Zen gallery (a former garage), currently showing Deborah Aschheim’s Threshold (see The Fussy Eye, this page). Suyama Space, 2324 Second Ave., 256-0809, suyamapetersondeguchi.com/art, Fri., March 22, 9 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sat., March 23, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.; Sun., March 24, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

NEXT FALL ArtsWest Playhouse & Gallery March 13 - April 6

BEST OF THE NORTHWEST ART AND FINE CRAFT SHOW More than 140 regional artists sell their work in

Geoffrey Nauffts’ award winning story of two men in a committed, long-term relationship, and the family and friends that are a part of their lives. A critical car accident brings opposing views on faith, family and commitment into sharp focus. 206.938.0339. Tickets $15-$34.50. www.artswest.org

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE LEROY BELL & HIS ONLY FRIENDS Kirkland Performance Center March 22 at 7:30pm

Rock and soul singer, LeRoy Bell has gained a national audience with his performance as a finalist on TV’s X-Factor. At his KPC “CD Release Concert”, Bell introduces his newest ‘Only Friend’, keyboardist, Daniel Walker performing along with bassist Terry Morgan and drummer Davis Martin. 901.481.3072. Tickets $30. www.kpcenter.org/performances

Nancy & Ann Wilson

APRIL 9

TICKETS FROM: $50

ANN & NANCY WILSON OF HEART

Acoustic Concert & Conversation with Biographer Charles R. Cross S. MARK TAPER FOUNDATION AUDITORIUM

Seattle-bred sisters Ann and Nancy Wilson (HEART) are behind some of rock’s most iconic hits, and before their well-deserved induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, they will perform a special hometown concert. Media sponsor:

TIGERS IN THE TANK Album Release Show Sunset Tavern Wednesday April 3

A solidified songwriting partnership born at UW manifests this spring in Tigers in the Tank’s Nature and Science. The debut album delivers 12 original tracks of organic sound in the spirit of true Northwest eclecticism. With special guests Megan Larson and The Vaudeville Etiquette. 206.784.4880. Tickets $6. www.sunsettavern.com SEATTLE WEEKLY • MARCH 20 — 26, 2013

VISUAL ARTS

Rembrandt, Van Dyck, Gainsborough features a selection of approximately 50 masterpieces from the Iveagh Bequest collection donated to Great Britain by Edward Cecil Guinness, 1st Earl of Iveagh (1847–1927) and heir to the world’s most successful brewery. Among other treasures, the exhibition provides a rare opportunity to see Rembrandt’s late Portrait of the Artist (ca. 1665), which has never left Europe before. 206.654.3210. $12-$20 (free for SAM members). www.seattleartmuseum.org

GIMMECULTURE@SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM

Rembrandt, Van Dyck, Gainsborough: THE TREASURES OF KENWOOD HOUSE, LONDON Seattle Art Museum On View Now – May 19

sculpture, painting, glass, metal, and other media. See nwartalliance.com. Pier 91, $6-$7, Sat., March 23, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sun., March 24, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. KAREN BIT VEJLE Scissors for a Brush is the Norwegian artist’s collection of intricate paper cuts. She’ll lead tours of the exhibition at 2 p.m. Fri., March 22 and 2 p.m. Sat., March 23. Nordic Heritage Museum, 3014 N.W. 67th St., 789-5707, nordicmuseum.org, $4-$6, Opens March 22, Tues.-Sat., 10 a.m.-4 p.m.; Sun., 12-4 p.m. Through June 16. THE CLAY PROJECT Artists Juliana Heyne, Fay Jones, Robert C. Jones, Sherry Markowitz, Warren Maruhashi, Stephen McClelland, Jake Millett, Peter Millet, Isabel Sim Hamilton, and Mark Strom offer their ceramic work at this fundraiser for the Seward Park Clay Studio. Food and drinks are part of your ticket (at brownpapertickets.com), followed by cash bar., sewardparkart. org. Seattle Design Center, 5701 Sixth Ave. S., 762-1200, seattledesigncenter.com, $25, Sat., March 23, 6-9 p.m. D.I.Y.—THE SHAPE OF PUNK TO COME In this installment of the Then Is Also Now lecture series, Scott Lawrimore, Anne Focke, Ries Niemi, and Norie Sato discuss the role and the future of alternative spaces and independent art centers, also reflected in the ongoing Lawrimore-curated 36 Chambers. Frye Art Museum, 704 Terry Ave., 622-9250, fryemuseum.org, Free, Thu., March 21, 6:30 p.m. EAFA’S OPEN ABSTRACT SHOW This juried group show features works ranging from digital photography to painting. Awards reception with juror June Sekiguchi: 5-9 p.m. Thurs., March 21. Eastside

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Send events to visualarts@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings = Recommended

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TheFussyeye » by brian miller

Mary Chapin Carpenter

Shawn Colvin

APRIL 19 TICKETS FROM: $38 AN ACOUSTIC EVENING WITH

MARY CHAPIN CARPENTER & SHAWN COLVIN ON STAGE TOGETHER

S. MARK TAPER FOUNDATION AUDITORIUM

Grammy Award-winning songwriters (and longtime friends) Mary Chapin Carpenter and Shawn Colvin share the stage as an intimate duo, performing material spanning their vast catalogues.

FOR TICKETS:

206.215.4747

BENAROYAHALL.ORG

The Coroplast Metropolis What is Coroplast®? Corrugated plastic, with a kind of honeycombed lattice between its surfaces, light and cheap—perfect for yard signs or temporary displays. (I think of it as the material used for U.S. Postal bins.) You can cut it with an X-Acto and glue it together, like the balsa wood architects once used for their models. Appropriately, then, Los Angeles artist Deborah Aschheim has sited her pleasingly fanciful little city, called Threshold, in the atrium of an architecture firm. The forms aren’t BRIAN MILLER

THEATER

Association of Fine Arts Gallery, 5701 Sixth Ave. S., Seattle, 425-898-7076, eafa.org, Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Through May 3. THE NEW NEO-NATURALISTS In their artists’ statement, David Eisenhour, Lisa Gilley, and Sean Yearian intend to portray themes of the natural world, biological forms, and strive “to connect and repair this splintered destructive world with our art.” Opening reception 5-9 p.m. Thurs., March 21., cocaseattle.org. Seattle Design Center, 5701 Sixth Ave. S., 762-1200, seattledesigncenter.com, Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Through April 12. RUTH MARIE TOMLINSON In her installation Lost Long: a Landscape, she reimagines the structure of memory and her impressions of Central Montana through words, field recordings, and other visuals. Opening reception 7 p.m. Fri., March 22. Jack Straw New Media Gallery, 4261 Roosevelt Way N.E., 634-0919, jackstraw. org, Opens March 22, Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Through May 17.

Museums

MICHAEL KENNA There’s a rigorous, if not to say

slavish, formalism to the work of Michael Kenna, an English-born photographer now living in Seattle. Every image in Memories and Meditations is printed in the same small, square size. All are black-and-white, and most are self-conscious “travel” photos of places far from home. So we see Easter Island moai, the pyramids, Stonehenge, China’s famous Huangshan Mountains, Russia’s Hermitage, etc. Then there are the snowy landscape studies—exercises in composition, quite elegant, also requiring a passport stamp. BRIAN MILLER Tacoma Art Museum, 1701 Pacific Ave., 253272-4258, tacomaartmuseum.org, $8-$10, Weds., Fri.Sun., 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Ends March 24. LOVE ME TENDER Ordinary currency is transformed into extraordinary work; exhibit includes pieces like James Charles’ Devo-inspired “Devolution” ink on US Bank Note, and Christopher Wilde’s currency map collage titled “The World Is Yours.” Through May 26. Bellevue Arts Museum, 510 Bellevue Way N.E., 425-519-0770, bellevuearts.org, Tues.-Sun., 11 a.m.-5 p.m.; First Friday of every month, 11 a.m.-8 p.m. Through May 26. MANEKI NEKO: JAPAN’S BECKONING CATS

Examining the rise of the “lucky cat” from “talisman to pop icon,” this exhibition highlights selections from a collection of 155 figures in wood, stone, paper, and ceramics, owned by the Mingei International Museum of San Diego. Bellevue Arts Museum, Through Aug. 4.

meant to be entirely novel here. Her edifices gesture toward the Space Needle (Aschheim earned her MFA at the UW, so she knows our landmarks), the Tower of Pisa, and other familiar structures. You’ll notice design echoes from The Jetsons, Paul Thiry’s white trellised arches at the Pacific Science Center (created for our 1962 World’s Fair), Bertrand Goldberg’s Marina City in Chicago, and—to my eye, at least—the old Gallery of Modern Art on New York’s Columbus Circle, that lollipop arcade folly by Edward Durell Stone. Some of the structures hang in the air, like Cloud City in The Empire Strikes Back. Little lights glow softly within some of the translucent towers; instead of Coroplast®, you can almost imagine them as candles made of wax—no less temporary, like little urban hives. Suyama Space, 2324 Second Ave., 256-0809, suyamapetersondeguchi.com/art. Free. 9 a.m.–5 p.m. Mon.–Fri. Ends April 12.

film»Review

Godard on the Beach

SHOWTIMES March 22 - 28

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which goes back further than Jean-Luc Godard: y casting some Disney debutantes Alien and his cohort are modeling themselves as bikini bandits, Harmony Korine’s on media images. As characters (and here the Spring Breakers would seem intent actresses’ limitations work in Korine’s favor), on pure sensationalism. The opening that’s why they’re flatter than the flattest TV montage consists of drunken, ripe flesh on the screen. The girls are posers, and so is Alien. beach, college kids dancing in slo-mo to Skrillex, Leading them through a Cribstyles of the Rich doing beer bongs and smoking dope, girls flashing and Famous tour of his home, he boasts, “I got their tits. Amer’ca—fuck yeah! It’s so ridiculously Scarface on repeat. It’s constant, y’all!” trashy that you know Korine—writer of Kids, He is, truly, living the media-fed dream. And director of Gummo and Trash Humpers—is thinkso are the girls—until churchgoing Faith loses her ing beyond Girls Gone Wild. Then he introduces our four bored heroines, too broke for spring break, nerve. (“This is not what I signed up for!”) Then Alien’s menacwho embark on a ing rival appears. crime spree leading Guns are pulled to St. Petersburg, and shots fired. a charismatic drug Spring Breakers dealer ( James finally breaks its Franco), gunfire, fairy-tale reverie, blood, and remorse. though the vio“It seems like lence and sex are a dream,” one of never particularly the girls repeatgraphic. Korine edly muses. Korine isn’t interested in repeats most of realism here. This their lines like is more the story incantations as of four debauched his film woozily Dorothys in a drifts forward hellish Oz. In this and back. Spring Would you trust your daughters with this man? regard, Spring Breakers has an Franco as Alien. Breakers benefits elliptical structure from the release of dreamy recurof Franco’s other spring fantasy picture. rence and foreboding. (Korine butts his scenes Hazy, trippy, and impressionistic, Spring together with the angry sound of a gun cocking, Breakers’ look transcends its thesis and gossamer suggesting violence ahead.) To psych themselves story. In the best move (and movie) of his career, up for glamorous misdeeds, they chant, “Act like Korine chose Belgian cinematographer Benoît you’re in a movie. Pretend it’s a video game.” Debie (Enter the Void, Irréversible) to render St. Florida first appears like paradise to Brit (Ashley Pete in a tropical miasma of color. The light turns Benson), Faith (Selena Gomez), Candy (Vanessa Hudgens), and Cotty (Rachel Korine, the director’s watery in a late-night rave. Earlier, 100 laptop screens illuminate a college lecture hall. A harsh wife). They’ve got money, mopeds, boys, booze, and drugs. It’s a debauched paradise, with swooning red sun casts moral judgment on the poolside bacchanalia. Twin blonde killers strut on a neon sunsets leading to hectic, all-night house parties. catwalk, upside down, wearing pink ski masks After one of those parties goes too far, the girls are and yellow bikinis. It’s like the Baader-Meinhof bailed out of jail by a local hustler named Alien, Gang turning their Uzis on the front row at played by Franco in the most interesting and comFashion Week. (Gwyneth, look out!) mitted performance of the new year. Although Franco eventually wears us out with Where to begin with Alien? He’s a dangerous, über-skeezy clown. He drives a shitty, blinged-out Alien’s swampwater monologues, and though old Camaro Z28 with the license plate “BALLR.” Korine’s cultural critique is hardly fresh, Spring Breakers has a welcome, bracing sting to it—the He’s got cornrows and a full grill in his mouth, pungent clarity of disgust. Korine’s constant tats all over his body, Skrillex shades, a house full rewinding loses the film its narrative momentum, of weapons, drugs, and vintage sneakers, and an but maybe that’s the point. There will always be outdoor grand piano by the pool. (Which he new girls on spring break, more guys like Alien, plays, yes, in an entirely earnest Britney Spears more shameful episodes uploaded to YouTube ballad with the girls.) Alien is, thanks to Franco, and Instagram. It’s constant, y’all. E like some sort of Weimar cabaret figure crossed with Vanilla Ice: completely artificial and implaubmiller@seattleweekly.com sible, a white boy trying to be black, a weakling trying to be tough, a guy as deeply committed to fantasy as his four houseguests are. SPRING BREAKERS And the source of those fantasies? Movies Opens Fri., March 22 at Pacific Place and TV. This is Korine’s big, borrowed insight, and other theaters. Rated R. 94 minutes.

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film»This Week’s Attractions Admission

Ginger & Rosa OPENS FRI., MARCH 22 AT GUILD 45TH AND SIFF CINEMA UPTOWN. RATED PG-13. 90 MINUTES.

Ginger and Rosa were practically born best friends. Their mothers were in adjacent English hospital beds and held hands as they gave birth at the same time. Seventeen years later, the girls are inseparable: They wear the exact same outfits; they try to practice kissing on each other before succumbing to giggle fits and playing patty-cake instead. But for the first time, their differences are showing. Rosa (Alice Englert, just seen in Beautiful Creatures) is the darker, racier one—the first to start smoking

ART DAVID LEE/FOCUS FEATURES

Thanks to her success on Saturday Night Live and 30 Rock, Tina Fey has been stereotyped, but in a good way. Onscreen she’s the paradigmatic professional woman, trying vainly to have it all, juggling career and boyfriends, forever tripping on her own intelligence—Lucille Ball’s clever granddaughter, with screwball in her DNA. Fey’s film and TV persona is very much the post-feminist, self-aware striver who knows the statistics on divorce, sees the glass ceiling, weighs single motherhood, but still holds out hope for meeting Mr. Sort of Right (probably destined to be a stay-at-home dad). But what man is truly good enough and smart enough for her? And this is the problem with Admission. What movie, that she didn’t write herself, is good enough for Fey? Based on a 2009 campus novel by Jean Hanff Korelitz, Admission contains a clutch of topical issues that Fey might’ve expanded much further and funnier. She plays Portia, an admissions officer at Princeton locked into a childless longterm relationship with a feckless academic (smug weakling Michael Sheen, too short on screen time). Portia is a slave to her career, the only job she’s ever had, and the prospect of advancement suddenly comes when the Dean of Admissions (Wallace Shawn!) announces his coming retirement. With one rival for the gig, Portia needs to skim the cream of the Ivy League application pool for the class of 2016, which means saying no to 99 percent of those who apply. (This is done in amusing fantasy interviews.) Here is a film that, refreshingly, values achievement. Seemingly bound for a thin envelope is shy, brainy senior Jeremiah (Nat Wolff ), a scholarship student at an artsy-fartsy prep school. His teacher John (Paul Rudd) is pushing him toward Princeton, but with an ulterior motive. (I won’t give it away, though the TV ads probably have.) In swift succession, Portia becomes a very biased booster for Jeremiah, a flustered crush object for John, and a maternal figure to the latter’s son, a precocious 11-year-old orphan adopted by his single father. Many balls compete here in limited airspace. Fey could probably pen an entire sitcom season from these elements, but Portia feels like more of a paycheck role for her. (Likewise, Rudd coasts lazily on his charm.) The comedy is either too gentle or too obvious—like the Bella Abzug tattoo on Portia’s hectoring, old-school feminist mother (Lily Tomlin, game but underused). Directed by Paul Weitz (About a Boy, American Pie), Admission plays like cut-rate Nora Ephron—and it’s her shoes as a writer and director that Fey seems most capable of filling. BRIAN MILLER

cigarettes and wearing black eyeliner. Ginger, played by the seraphic 14-year-old Elle Fanning (Somewhere, Super 8), who dreams of becoming a poet, is softer, more hesitant. “Boys don’t like girls who are too serious,” Rosa explains after Ginger brings up Simone de Beauvoir. “Oh,” says Ginger, crestfallen. It’s 1962, during the Cuban Missile Crisis, and the girls are worrying about nuclear armageddon. Neither can take much comfort in their home lives. Rosa’s father left years ago. Ginger’s still got hers, although he’s not a very good one. Roland (Alessandro Nivola) won’t let her call him “Dad” (the word makes him think of “slippers by the fire and other bourgeois death traps”), and he’s a known philanderer. And neither girl respects her mother,

Fey and Rudd deserve a better script.

dark in the middle of the night, playing the accordion, singing, and crying. And when Natalie finally loses her lid over the girls’ bratty teenage attitudes, she gets to deliver one of the film’s most satisfying lines: “You and Rosa are turning into little sluts.” But the scenes are cut much too short, giving the movie an unneeded sense of rushing, and director Sally Potter (Orlando, The Tango Lesson) gives too much away too soon: In an early scene, Ginger’s flirty father makes eyes at Rosa through the rearview mirror, so it doesn’t come as a surprise when Rosa reveals to Ginger that she feels a “soul connection” with her dad. (In response, Ginger storms to a jukebox and puts on Little Richard’s “Tutti Frutti.”) There’s nothing left for the girls’ friendship to do from there but unravel. The characters are wellwrought in Potter’s coming-of-age drama (which basically covers the period of her own ’60s youth), but what happens to them is too predictable. Still, Potter creates some indelible moments— like when Ginger flops onto the white, snowy ground as if to make a snow angel, but it’s dirty snow that’s been walked over and patched with mud. Nothing stays pure forever. ERIN K. THOMPSON

The Men of Dodge City NICOLA DOVE/A24 PICTURES

SEATTLE WEEKLY • MARCH 20 — 26, 2013

OPENS FRI., MARCH 22 AT PACIFIC PLACE AND OTHER THEATERS. RATED PG-13. 110 MINUTES.

Englert as rebellious Rosa.

whom they regard as pathetic and dreamless women. “It’s no wonder they can’t keep their men,” says Rosa. A strong cast gives weight to the two families’ tensions and troubles. Fanning has a winningly easy smile and plays Ginger with exactly the correct mixture of wonderstruck child and nascent adult. Her loss of innocence is painful to watch. Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks, as Ginger’s mother Natalie, has a wince-worthy British accent but is convincing as a beleaguered wife, particularly in the scene in which Ginger catches her sitting in the

RUNS FRI., MARCH 22–THURS., MARCH 28 AT NORTHWEST FILM FORUM. NOT RATED. 94 MINUTES.

Dodge City is in Kansas, not Michigan, where Nandan Rao’s vague little indie takes place. Specifically, it takes place in blighted, postindustrial Detroit (aka the Motor City), where legions of empty old buildings have allowed hipsters, artists, and other venturesome souls to homestead. For the price of a studio in Williamsburg, you can rent a huge loft or an entire building. (Warning: There may be no heat.) This is a real phenomenon, the subject of newspaper stories and the documentary Detropia, seen at NWFF last fall. But The Men of Dodge City is a mumblecore mini-drama focusing on three young postcollegiate dudes trying to create an arts center in a crumbling old church, its parishioners long gone. Their leader is J ( Jesse Rudoy), the most organized and responsible of the trio. He’s a recognizable type: the clean-cut do-gooder with solid LSAT scores who can’t quite bear to enter law school; an idealist seeking self-validation through helping others; a bourgeois kid who doesn’t want to fall back on family money and connections, but

probably will. He’ll likely end up in politics. His minions Ben (Ben Rickles) and Zach (Zach Weintraub) are less clearly drawn. The trio has artistic ambitions, but there’s little evidence of any talent. They do some kind of tap-dancing routine before their laptops. One tries to create a sculpture out of old chairs abandoned with the church, which, to his evident frustration, never looks like anything more than a pile of old chairs. Then there’s a girl, Sophia (Sophia Takal), who’s sort-of-maybe seeing Zach, though little romantic tension ever emerges. (In fact, very little emerges from the film at all.) Sophia’s the only one with a notion of an adult future, motherhood, and settling down. (She also has an actual job and appears to be a local.) These guys have built—or act as if they’ve built—a really cool clubhouse, which she correctly sees as a fort, a respite and a refuge from future responsibility. “It makes me cringe,” says J of personal ambition, even while entertaining advice from his father (camped out in a nearby hotel), a Germanaccented fellow who appears to be a successful businessman. You get the feeling that J won’t be in Detroit for long. Seen at the Local Sightings Film Festival last September, The Men of Dodge City does feature some nice wide-screen compositions of the city, but too much of the film is spent inside the church with its indecisive characters. Detroit’s merely a short-term hiatus for them, an alternative to grad school, and you’d rather watch a film about natives trying to survive in a city they can’t afford to leave. (Note: Portland director Rao will attend and introduce Friday’s screenings.) BRIAN MILLER

P Turning RUNS FRI., MARCH 22–SUN., MARCH 24 AT SIFF FILM CENTER. NOT RATED. 76 MINUTES.

In 2006, Antony Hegarty (of Antony and the Johnsons) toured Europe with a production he and video artist Charles Atlas had debuted two years prior at the Whitney Museum of American Art in New York. Turning is their collaborative tour documentary, directed by Atlas, featuring an ensemble of female performing artists—straight, queer, and transgender. Onstage and off, these 13 performers are deeply interesting, and like the themes of androgyny and mortality that run through Hegarty’s songs, their backgrounds are shrouded in mystery. Some are deeply reflective when interviewed by an offscreen Hegarty, while others bubble over with chatter. Still, their personal histories are never fully explained. Yet onstage, as each woman “models” on a rotating platform while Hegarty’s orchestra gently works through his melancholy compositions, the women are never out of view as they turn. Atlas’ camera captures their expression from every angle, overlapping frames with visual effects and streams of refracted light. Through concert footage, intimate backstage scenes, and the slog of touring, an all-encompassing portrait of femininity emerges. Performance and identity blur in this context, and the women settle into their stage personae like a second skin (or a first, as with Eliza Douglas, who performs bare-chested). The film’s gentle scrutiny becomes a deeply moving study of female identity. Throughout, Hegarty offers tender leadership and mindful observations. (When Le Monde calls the show a “transgender manifesto,” he says, “I like the word

TINA FEY

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‘manifesto’ attached to anything. It means something definitive.”) There’s music here, too, but it’s more of a gossamer vessel than a concrete structure, holding the women, their stories, and their art in a kind of weightless space. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT

P The Waiting Room OPENS FRI., MARCH 22 AT VARSITY. NOT RATED. 83 MINUTES.

election looming. By then, of course, Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio will be talking about repealing Obamacare and defunding PBS. BRIAN MILLER

Let someone in

The We and the I

Michael Shee n Lily Tomli n

OPENS FRI., MARCH 22 AT SEVEN GABLES. NOT RATED. 103 MINUTES.

Michel Gondry has always struck me as a highconcept artist who’s still a big kid at heart. As a storyteller, he’s just as interested in asides as in the stories themselves. He has an affection for characters that, for better or worse, have never quite grown up. Collaborating with a group of creatively inclined teens on a movie would seem like a natural fit. For The We and the I, Gondry worked with students at a South Bronx community arts center called The Point to develop characters and stories, then cast the drama with local nonprofessionals. It’s an admirable project, but not nearly as fresh as you might expect. Within the sprawling film, framed by and largely confined to a bus ride through the Bronx on the last day of school, is a pageant of cliques and clichés. There are bullies, popular kids, geeks, artists, musicians, alphas, outcasts, couples, and others, and they’ve been playing out the same rituals—the insults, the posturing, the intimidation—for who knows how long. As characters step off at their respective stops, the raucousness subsides, the posturing eases, and things become more serious and more personal. There are some convincing performances here, though just as many kids seem to be auditioning for a Disney Channel sitcom; the characters and stories are only fitfully authentic. But it is a lively ensemble, and Gondry keeps mixing things up with tangents and diversions—flashbacks, tall tales acted out like skits, a toy bus rattling through the streets during the credits—and occasionally an inventive weave of storytelling imagination. Just not enough. The We and the I is less a film than a socialstudies experiment, an after-school project by a bunch of high-school kids exploring that eternal teen tension between the individual and the group. Gondry hasn’t hit on anything particularly revelatory, and the kids offer no insights into teenage life that weren’t expressed (better) in Rebel Without a Cause. As his young collaborators put their lives onscreen, they can’t seem to help reiterating every observation and lesson in literalistic dialogue. But, happily, at least this is one urban tale that doesn’t descend into guns, drugs, and violence. SEAN AXMAKER E

film@seattleweekly.com

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Remind me again where we are in the Obamacare wars . . . Health-care reform was passed into law in 2010. The Supreme Court upheld it last year. Its marketplace provisions go into effect next year. And yet Sarah Palin and some Republicans are still—still!—talking about repealing it. It feels as if we’ve been arguing about universal health care for decades. And we have: There was Hillarycare in the ’90s, and similar initiatives came from both Nixon and Truman. That’s the context in which Peter Nicks’ low-key advocacy doc arrives, and its persuasive, humanist message would be applicable in any of those past decades. Granted intimate access to Oakland’s Highland Hospital, Nicks basically employs the reality-TV approach of TLC’s old Trauma: Life in the ER series, following patients and doctors through the medical grinder. Then he overlays secondary interviews to add socioeconomic background. Gunshot victims—and we see a few here—or traffic casualties have no choice but come to Highland. But the majority of those in the waiting room, sometimes for days, are there for one simple reason. Says one likable young bearded fellow, his testicular cancer requiring surgery: “I don’t have any insurance. I never had anything happen to me. It was like my invincible 20s.” The Waiting Room clearly has an agenda, but it’s one that certainly will resonate in blue-voting Seattle. We meet a carpet layer with bone spurs on his spine, a little girl with a serious infection and unemployed parents, a guy whose bullet wound is aching, a homeless alcoholic whom the doctors greet by first name. They are, mostly, a sympathetic lot. They are also mostly low-income and minority (this is Oakland, after all, where the recession still seems to be raging). Nicks treats the doctors as a heroic, overworked lot; surely one reason the hospital—where Nicks’ wife is on staff—gave access was to make an implicit appeal for more state funding. (Here’s where Nicks, a former producer for PBS and ABS, might’ve supplied some graphics or narration, instead of going the Frederick Wiseman route.) Bound for PBS later this year, The Waiting Room tells us what we already know, but its lessons are worth repeating—particularly with midterms around the corner and another presidential

Some of Gondry’s young cast.

film» BY BRIAN MILLER

Local & Rep • 007: SIX CLASSIC JAMES BOND FILMS Sure,

“ THRILLINGLY ORIGINAL, DEEPLY FELT. A VALENTINE TO NEW YORK!” A.O. Scott, THE NEW YORK TIMES presents

there are better films in the Bond canon, but how many have a Lotus Esprit sports car/submarine, an awesome theme song by Carly Simon, a giant, metal-toothed villain named Jaws, a supertanker that swallows other vessels, the greatest skiing stunt ever filmed, and the Pyramids? All that and more is featured in Roger Moore’s third and best James Bond movie (of seven): The Spy Who Loved Me, in which he and sexy Russian agent Barbara Bach search for two stolen nuclear subs. Don’t get me wrong: Daniel Craig and Skyfall are far, far better, but this 1977 romp is good cheesy fun in all the right ways. Moore was then 50 and increasingly reliant on stunt men to do, well, everything besides sip martinis and leer at the ladies. His smug puns and double entendres are both insufferable and hilarious, delivered better than Austin Powers ever could. The globetrotting franchise also visits the Alps and Sardinia. One of Bond’s own gadgets is a Seiko digital watch that prints ticker-tape messages. The epaulets on his wide-lapeled polyester sport jacket are also emblems of their time; and John Barry’s famous musical theme even gets a disco update. Sacrilege maybe, but you can dance to it. Spy runs Fri.-Sun., and Moonraker concludes the Bond retro from Sun.Thurs. See the GI’s website for showtimes. (PG) BRIAN MILLER Grand Illusion, $5-$8, Through March 28. BASIC INSTINCT Paul Verhoeven scored a huge 1992 hit with this sexy crime tale starring Sharon Stone (the murder suspect) and Michael Douglas (the cop who falls for her). In following years, it probably set the record for DVDs being slowed down frame-by-frame during the famous interrogation scene. (R) Central Cinema, $6-$8, March 22-25, 9:45 p.m.; Wed., March 27, 9:45 p.m. CRASH CINEMA Participants in MOHAI’s “History is [_____]” one-day filmmaking challenge will screen their shorts at this open-bar wrap party event. (NR) SIFF Film Center, $3-$5, Sat., March 23, 5:30 p.m. IRAQ: THE WAR WE LEFT BEHIND The tenth anniversary of our invasion of Iraq is commemorated by this screening and post-film discussion. (NR) Keystone Congregational Church, 5019 Keystone Place N., 6326021, keystoneseattle.org, Free, Fri., March 22, 7 p.m. L.A. REBELLION The series, which honors AfricanAmerican filmmakers after the Watts riots, concludes with Compensation (Fri.) and two packages of shorts on Sat. and Sun. See nwfilmforum.org for full schedule and details. (NR) Northwest Film Forum, $6-$10, Fri.Sun., 8 p.m. Ends March 24. MIDNIGHT HORROR Call the tavern, or just drop by, to see what random gore flicks are playing in this ongoing series. Plus drink specials! (NR) Comet Tavern, 922 E. Pike St., 322-9272, comettavern.com, Free, Thurs.-Sun. MONEY & LIFE Katie Teague, a former local, will introduce her new doc about wealth, need, and a sustainable economy. (NR) SIFF Cinema Uptown, $6-$11, Wed., March 20, 7 p.m. ORNETTE COLEMAN’S PRIME TIME This hour-long music doc captures the legendary free-jazz musician at a 1988 concert in Montreal. (NR) Northwest Film Forum, $6-$10, Thu., March 21, 8 p.m. SILENT MOVIE MONDAYS One innocent smooch leads Greta Garbo into adultery and disgrace in 1929’s The Kiss. Organist Jim Riggs provides live accompaniment. (NR) The Paramount, 911 Pine St., 877-784-4849, stgpresents.org, $10, 7 p.m. Mon., March 25.

SEATTLE WEEKLY • MARCH 20 — 26, 2013

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THE SPROCKET SOCIETY’S SATURDAY SECRET MATINEES “Alien Encounters” is the March theme

for various short films being screened. Ongoing is the 1939 adventure serial Zorro’s Fighting Legion. Total program length is about two hours. (NR) Grand Illusion, $5-$8, 2 p.m. Sat., March 23. THE THING SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 17. WHO’S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF? Directed by Mike Nichols, this 1966 adaptation of Edward Albee’s boozy marital drama stars a memorably spiteful Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton as the academics who need an audience to vent their rages. George Segal and Sandy Dennis play the younger campus couple who accept a fateful invitation for drinks. Mayhem ensues. Sample dialogue (Burton to Taylor): “In my mind, you’re buried in cement right up to the neck. No, up to the nose, it’s much quieter.” (PG) Central Cinema, $6-$8, March 22-25, 7 p.m.; Wed., March 27, 7 p.m.

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EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT

STARTS FRIDAY, MARCH 22

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Seattle Weekly WEDNESDAY 03/20

Ongoing • ARGO Ben Affleck’s Oscar winner begins with the

November 4, 1979, attack on the U.S. embassy in Tehran. While 52 Americans are held hostage, six embassy workers manage to escape, ultimately hiding out at the home of Canadian ambassador (Victor Garber). Determined to smuggle the houseguests out of Iran by disguising them as a film crew on a location scout, CIA exfiltration expert Tony Mendez (Affleck) enlists the help of John Chambers (John Goodman), a movie makeup artist, and Lester Siegel (Alan Arkin), an old-school producer. Between hokey wisecracks ribbing industry idiocy, the trio seizes on a dusty script for a Star Wars rip-off called Argo. Affleck’s movie doesn’t reflect who we are now so much as it argues for what Hollywood can be. It’s a love letter from Affleck to the industry that made him, shunned him, and loves nothing more than to be loved. (R) Karina Longworth Alderwood 16, Oak Tree, Lincoln Square, Meridian, others THE GATEKEEPERS Israeli director Dror Moreh says he was directly inspired by Errol Morris’ 2003 The Fog of War, which drew lessons from the Vietnam War that applied to Iraq and Afghanistan. But those were our wars, our bloody mistakes, political bungling, and costly occupations. Israel’s Occupied Territories, acquired after 1967’s Six-Day War, are a different matter. So too is its secretive Shin Bet security agency, which conducts counterterrorism operations in those Palestinian regions, including drone strikes and targeted assassinations. What’s most newsworthy here is that Moreh convinced six former Shin Bet leaders to go on record before the camera. They are surprisingly skeptical about Israeli policies for controlling the Occupied Territories. And while there’s no consensus view, if Moreh asked for a vote, it seems they’d go back to pre-1967 borders. Basically, though no one wants to come out and say it, the Six-Day War was a Pyrrhic victory, the acquisition of a demographic time bomb compounded by Israel’s settlement policies. One statement rings universal, and ex–Shin Bet chief Yuval Diskin puts it in English for global emphasis: “One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter.” (PG13) Brian Miller Harvard Exit LIFE OF PI A stacked-deck theological inquiry filtered through a spectacular Titanic-by-way-of–Slumdog Millionaire narrative, Life of Pi manages occasional spiritual wonder through its 3-D visuals but otherwise sinks like a stone. Ang Lee brings to this high-seas adventure his graceful and refined aesthetics; the result is a slavish, proficient adaptation of Yann Martel’s 2001 novel. The story concerns the upbringing of Pi (newcomer Suraj Sharma) in India, his unbelievable experiences surviving a shipwreck aboard a life raft also occupied by a Bengal tiger, and his postrescue efforts to convince Japanese officials that his tale is true—a three-part structure that’s framed by the adult Pi (Irrfan Khan), recounting his tale to a nameless writer (Rafe Spall). The story’s relentless articulation of its thematic aims proves a buzz kill, and the film spoonfeeds rather than enlightens. (PG-13) Nick Schager Sundance Cinemas, Thornton Place, others LORE As World War II ends badly for the Nazis, freshfaced teenager Lore (Saskia Rosendahl) sees her SS officer father hurriedly burn the evidence of his war crimes, while her mother barks bitter reprisals. Both prepare for their inevitable capture by the Allies. Neighbors want nothing to do with the five kids. The children duck Allied patrols and fellow refugees en route to Grandmother’s house. And they find the unlikeliest of protectors in a young concentrationcamp survivor, Thomas (Kai Malina), with a startlingly clear-headed survival instinct and an instant grasp of the complicated new politics of postwar Germany. Lore and her four younger siblings trek through an everpresent now, a series of negotiations and confrontations for a 14-year-old growing up fast. She’s no innocent Riefenstahl mountain girl standing tall against evil; she’s not even particularly likable. Lore is alternately scared, angry, frustrated, and torn—especially about the Jewish “inferior” who time and again saves these children. The misty landscape of forests and fields and rivers is lovely, but Lore’s real odyssey is through a dead, deluded culture holding tight to its bigotry, nationalism, and grief for the fallen Führer. (NR) Sean Axmaker Harvard Exit, Lincoln Square QUARTET A decorous gathering of dames and other knighted U.K. doyens, Quartet centers on the residents of Beecham House, a baronial residence for retired musicians. Former conductor Cedric (Michael Gambon), bedecked in a series of fantastic caftans and charged with organizing the annual gala fundraiser, determines that the reunion of the foursome who

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BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE

“AMAZING.”

–A.O. Scott, THE NEW YORK TIMES 14-year-old recalls the time, two years earlier, that her village was massacred by rebels and she was forced by their commander to shoot her mother and father. Abducted by the rebels, she’s saved from even worse abuse after her visions mark her as a witch, WWW.SONYCLASSICS.COM a living totem for the warlord known as the Great A FILM BY DROR MOREH Tiger (Mizinga Mwinga), who commands by force of personality and perceived power. The material world merges with magic and superstition through Komona’s perspective, which French-Canadian director Kim Nguyen treats matter-of-factly. The ghosts of her parents and other war dead are not movie special VIEW THE TRAILER AT WWW.GATEKEEPERSMOVIE.COM effects, but actors caked in white mud and makeup, as in ritual theater. Nguyen skillfully reminds us of the 4.81" X 2" WED 03/20 child beneath the soldier, with a mix of innocence and survival instinct. By not identifying the war, he makes SEATTLE WEEKLY her story strictly a matter of power, not politics. These DUE MON 6PM kids aren’t fighting for a particular cause or ideological leader. But in his determination not to exploit or sensationalize, Nguyen leaves Komona more symbol than person and her story a half-remembered nightmare. (NR) Sean Axmaker SIFF Cinema Uptown (circle one:) AE: (circle one:) ART APPROVED TheArtist: inside scoop on upcoming WEST OF MEMPHIS We have a strong and unusual films and theStaci latest reviews. Angela Maria Josh Aurelio Heather Freelance 2 regional link to the West Memphis Three, the Arkansas AE APPROVED teens wrongly imprisoned for almost two decades, blamed for killing three children in 1993. Among other Tim McCool Emmett Jay Steve Philip CLIENT APPROVED celebrities, Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder became a pasWWW.SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM/SIGNUP sionate defender of the trio, one of whom, Jason Deadline: Confirmation #: Baldwin, now lives in Seattle. Interest in the case was raised mostly by the three acclaimed Paradise Lost documentaries directed by Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky between 1996 and 2011. The West Memphis Three were finally freed in the summer of 2011, an event that received international media attention. So why do we need another doc on the subject, two years later? That is the question for producers Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh, who put their Lord of the Rings money to a good cause—offering both legal support and the funds for West of Memphis (directed by Amy Berg, Deliver Us From Evil). Unfortunately, their film never makes the case for its belated arrival. The doc creates a phony dramatic tension, starting at the beginning of the crime saga, pretending we don’t know the outcome. Damien Echols is treated as the main protagonist (he and his wife are credited as produc-Harry Knowles, AIN’T IT COOL NEWS ers), Baldwin barely appears, and Jessie Misskelley Jr. (the slow one) is more of a prop. The only news here is hardly new, dating to 2007: DNA found at the crime scene matches that of the stepfather of one of the slain boys, Terry Hobbs, but it’s unclear if that evidence -Drew Grant, would be admissible in court. (R) Brian Miller Varsity ZERO DARK THIRTY Director Kathryn Bigelow and screenwriter Mark Boal dramatize the manhunt for Osama bin Laden. From the major details to the smallest ones, the reporting is so good you scarcely question a beat. Jessica Chastain gives a sensational performances as Maya, a young CIA officer obsessed with bin Laden. Waterboarding and starvation are depicted, without any of the moral outrage some might expect from a Hollywood treatment of this subject. Rather, Bigelow and Boal come not to judge but to show, leaving the rest up to us. This is superb journalism and even better filmmaking, culminating in an electrifying re-enactment of the raid on bin Laden’s Pakistan hideout. But what impresses most about Zero Dark Thirty is the long time it spends in the middle distance, immersing us in the workaday lives of agents and analysts who sacrifice much in the name of something bigger than themselves. (R) Scott Foundas Crest, Admiral, others THEATERS: Admiral, 2343 California Ave. SW, 9383456; Ark Lodge Cinemas, 4816 Rainier Ave. S, 721-3156; Big Picture, 2505 First Ave., 256-0566; Big Picture Redmond, 7411 166th Ave. NE, 425-556-0566; Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave., 686-6684; Cinebarre, 6009 SW 244th St. (Mountlake Terrace)., 425-6727501; Cinerama, 2100 Fourth Ave., 448-6680; Crest, 16505 Fifth Ave. NE, 781-5755; Egyptian, 801 E. Pine St., 781-5755; Grand Illusion, 1403 NE 50th St., 5233935; Guild 45, 2115 N. 45th St., 781-5755; Harvard Exit, 807 E. Roy St., 781-5755; iPic Theaters, 16451 N.E. 74th St. (Redmond), 425-636-5601; Kirkland Parkplace, 404 Park Place, 425-827-9000; Lincoln Square, 700 Bellevue Way N, 425-454-7400; Majestic Bay, 2044 NW Market St., 781-2229; Meridian, 1501 Seventh Ave., 223-9600; Metro, 4500 Ninth Ave. NE, 781-5755; Northwest Film Forum, 1515 12th Ave., 267-5380; Oak Tree, 10006 Aurora Ave. N, 527-1748; Pacific Place, 600 Pine St., 888-262-4386; Seven Gables, 911 NE 50th St., 781-5755; SIFF Cinema Uptown, 511 Queen Anne Ave. N., 324-9996; SIFF Film Center, 305 Harrison St. (Seattle Center), 3249996; Sundance Cinemas, 4500 Ninth Ave NE, 6330059; Thornton Place, 301 NE 103rd St., 517-9953; Varsity, 4329 University Way NE, 781-5755. 29

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STARTS FRIDAY, MARCH 22! SEATTLE WEEKLY

SEATTLE WEEKLY • M ARCH 20 — 26, 2013

shone in a long-ago production of Rigoletto will be the event’s biggest draw. Assembling the headlining act requires a few desultory scenes of encouraging Beecham’s newest addition, opera diva Jean Horton (Maggie Smith), to participate. Jean, once romantically involved with Reginald (Tom Courtenay), who passes the time giving gentle lectures to bused-in youths about the difference between opera and rap, states her objections sharply: “I can’t insult the memory of who I was.” That all-too-real fear for the eminences gathered here stands as the only true pathos in the sentimental and pandering Quartet, adapted by Ronald Harwood from his own 1999 play and directed by Dustin Hoffman, stepping behind the camera for the first time. “Their love of life is infectious,” says the staff doctor, holding back tears in the final minutes, belying the previous scenes of agony over hip-replacement surgery and Reginald’s stated wish to have “a dignified senility.” The physician might have been referring exclusively to the randy joker played by Billy Connolly, prone to public urination and violating the staff’s personal space--acts sanctifying the memory of who he still is. (PG-13) Melissa Anderson Bainbridge Cinemas, Kirkland Parkplace, Guild 45, SIFF Cinema Uptown SEARCHING FOR SUGAR MAN Malik Bendjelloul’s Oscar-winning documentary is such a gift. In telling the tale of Sixto Rodriguez, a Mexican-American balladeer from Detroit who cut a couple of tepidly received LPs in the early ‘70s, vanished, and subsequently became an Elvis-sized rock god in South Africa, the Swedish filmmaker sidesteps arthritic VH1-style “where are they now” antics in favor of a more equivocal interrogation of celebrity culture. Bendjelloul interviews pertinent parties in standard rock-doc style, as well as the singer-songwriter’s charming, touchingly loyal grown daughters. It’s no huge surprise when Rodriguez himself turns up, still living the same modest existence as before his brush with micro-fame. Better still, Rodriguez’s casual disinterest in PR-blitzing his resurrection and apparent contentment with an ordinary working life lets Searching for Sugar Man hold up a mirror to what we’ve come to expect—and cynically refuse to accept—from artists in an age of pervasive, entitled notoriety. (PG-13) Mark Holcomb SIFF Cinema Uptown SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK If you took the fighting out of The Fighter, David O. Russell’s previous movie, you’d be left with a close, fractious family like the Solitanos of his hugely appealing new Silver Linings Playbook. Instead of Boston Irish and boxing, we have Philadelphia Italian and the Eagles. The family patriarch (a fine, restrained Robert De Niro) is an OCD bookie bound by strange rituals to the team; his wide-eyed wife (Jacki Weaver) is the nervous family conciliator/enabler; and their volatile son Pat (Bradley Cooper, wired) is fresh out of the nuthouse with a restraining order from his ex. But Pat is looking for those silver linings through self-improvement: reading, running, losing weight, scheming to win back his wife. Russell’s pell-mell approach perfectly suits the story of Pat’s mania and wrong-footed romance with young widow Tiffany (the Oscar-winning Jennifer Lawrence), who’s even more titanic in her instability than Pat. (R) Brian Miller Kirkland Parkplace, Lincoln Square, Cinebarre, others STOKER Eighteen-year-old India Stoker (Mia Wasikowska) is a sensual, feral sort of girl. After her beloved father is killed in a car accident, her mother Evelyn (Nicole Kidman) goes into a wilting, unstable state. Evelyn sparks to life when her late husband’s brother Charles (a brilliantly snaky Matthew Goode) arrives from Europe for a prolonged visit. India never knew she had an Uncle Charlie—first seen as an apparition at her father’s funeral—and she resents his intrusion, particularly after she sees the lustful looks he exchanges with her mother. Director Park Chanwook, known for his violent thrillers in South Korea (Oldboy, Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance), here makes his English-language debut. He builds India’s fear of her uncle by imparting each scene with an air of momentousness. The movie begins so delicately that its sudden shift to brutality comes as a surprise. Stoker retains a sense of creepy quiescence—India sharpens the bloody tip of a pencil into clotted red shavings; the camera follows a dried streak of blood on a hardwood floor—but the script (by actor Wentworth Miller) leaves too many gaps for Park to fill. But the masterly performances of the three leads, and Park’s subtle layering of suspense, offset the heavy-handed violence. (R) Erin K. Thompson Sundance Cinemas, Lincoln Square, Meridian, others WAR WITCH Komona (Rachel Mwanza) is a child soldier in an unidentified sub-Saharan African nation. (The movie was made in the Democratic Republic of the Congo.) Narrating her story to her unborn child, the

ACADEMY AWARD NOMINEE

food&drink»

It’s 8 a.m. Somewhere

For the adventurous Seattle diner, breakfast makes for some worthwhile destinations. BY HANNA RASKIN

SEATTLE WEEKLY • MARCH 20 — 26, 2013

Cafe Turko

Istanbul Imports owners Sureyya and Gencer Gokeri last year reinvented their 20-year-old Fremont rug shop as a Turkish cafe, although it takes a moment for the transition to register with first-time guests: The wooden tables and mismatched chairs that function as a dining area bleed into the back half of the room, crowded with displays of clothing, jewelry, plates, and books for sale. But Gencer says the gift shop is shrinking. “I added eight tables in the last two months,” says Gencer, who admits he was initially reluctant to install a starter pastry case for his wife. But Sureyya—a PCC cooking instructor from Gaziantep, Turkey, the purported birthplace of baklava—had a hunch cookies would sell better than luxury rugs. “The rugs made me lose my hair and my health and everything,” Gencer says. “I had a million-dollar inventory, but when it doesn’t sell, it’s nothing.” So Sureyya began to make sweets and stuffed flatbreads and dishes that daunt Turkish home cooks, such as çiğ köfte, painstakingly kneaded balls of tabbouleh and spices. After a recent weekend çiğ köfte production session, “her arms hurt all day long,” her husband recalls. She also baked gorgeous böreks, flaky spin-

PHOTOGRAPHY THIS PAGE: NEHA KAUR

icky eaters have it easy. They don’t have to worry about spoiling their evening torta appetite with a lunchtime order of mantoo, or waste time wondering whether it makes sense to have squid-ball soup for lunch and omakase sushi for dinner. They’re not periodically crushed by the realization that there are simply too many kinds of food in Seattle to try while simultaneously holding down a fulltime job. But for promiscuous eaters who can envision no fiercer hell than a daily ham sandwich, there’s hope. It’s called breakfast. Breakfast is the great untapped resource of most eating schedules. Two-thirds of Americans skip the meal completely, perhaps because the prevailing options are so lackluster: The most popular morning items in the U.S. are cold cereal and eggs, which might be scrambled on a home stove top, tucked into a microwaveable taquito, or plopped atop a Starbucks English muffin. It’s a wonder the majority of breakfasters don’t go back to bed. Yet at a range of local restaurants, many specializing in cuisines that a goodly number of food explorers don’t consider until later in the day, breakfast is a far more compelling proposition. Here’s a brief introduction to three restaurants serving global meals that should provoke even the most breakfastadverse to rethink their morning habits—and give adventurous diners fresh reason to believe they really can eat it all.

Left: A Turkish breakfast platter at Cafe Turko. Right: Sureyya Gokeri, Cafe Turko’s chef, poses with a Turkish dish.

ach-and-feta pies spattered with black sesame seeds. The iconic dish has a Greek analogue, but the Gokeris claim that spices unique to their homeland account for the Turkish version’s superiority. “If you look it up in Google, you’ll see the colors of God,” Gencer says of Istanbul’s spice market. “Ours is not only black pepper and salt.” But the first dish on Cafe Turko’s everchanging menu is the Mother-in-Law’s breakfast, a palette of Mediterranean staples, including a quartered hard-boiled egg; green and black olives; a splotch of sour yogurt, thick and white as shaving cream, garnished

A & B’s breakfast would have been a steal at twice the price. The minced-beef congee was slightly soupy but sufficiently tacky to cling to the spoon (or a freshly fried, goldenskinned doughnut). with garnet-red pomegranate seeds; cherry preserves; and, two by two, slices of tomato, cucumber, feta, and halal salami. It’s served with pita bread and hot tea. “My mother believes breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” Gencer says, explaining the name his wife gave to the platter. “So when she comes, we have to get up half an hour earlier so we can sit down together.”

Gencer’s mother is planning another trip from Izmir this May. This time she’ll find the meal she wants on a menu.

A & B Cafe Breakfast is so stripped down at the International District’s A & B that a visiting Spartan might wish for more frills. The cash-only Hong Kong–style cafe, which used to go by the name J & L Cafe, serves hot milk tea, French toast, and fried eggs on white bread. When I first walked into the restaurant, the only other patron was a Chinese man chewing on a breakfast sandwich and contemplating

a plastic canister of various pills. But the big morning draw is a pair of combination plates labeled BEST VALUE on the English menu, which is significantly shorter than the menu printed in Chinese. For $3.95, patrons have their pick of “Western-style breakfast” (ham, sausage, or spam; two eggs; and a hot drink) or “Chinesestyle breakfast,” a broad bowl of congee and a side of steamed rice noodles filled with dried shrimp. I went with the latter, shelling out another $1.60 for a pile of split Chinese doughnuts. A & B’s breakfast would have been a steal at twice the price. The minced-beef congee was slightly soupy but sufficiently tacky to cling to the spoon (or a freshly fried, goldenskinned doughnut). Garnished with whole peanuts and diced scallions, the porridge was warm and mild, in the manner of the world’s best one-pot breakfasts. Still, the standout was the was the set of floppy rice rolls, elastic as Silly Putty and glutinous as stamp gum. The tubular rolls were light, smooth, and porcelain-white until I splashed them with hoisin sauce, stacking sweetness atop the dried shrimp’s brine. As I was customizing my Chinese-style breakfast, two non-English speakers sat down at an adjacent table to order the same. One of the women motioned at my meal and flashed a thumbs-up. Without hesitation, I returned the gesture.

Sushi Kappo Tamura Congee and rice rolls at A & B Cafe.

Ritzy restaurants are often rougher during brunch, when staffers and patrons worn out by the night before are in the mood for loud music and strong coffee. Yet the lauded

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Top: Sushi Kappo Tamura owner Taichi Kitamura. Bottom: Pristine seafood and other breakfast treats.

SEATTLE WEEKLY • M ARCH 20 — 26, 2013

elegance of Sushi Kappo Tamura is kept intact it’s impossible to slouch in the face of Kappo on weekend mornings, when the restaurant Tamura’s high-def flavors. A breakfast here serves a small selection of bespoke bento focuses attentions on the week ahead—and boxes and platters showcasing pristine seathe eating opportunities it holds. E food. hraskin@seattleweekly.com Owners Taichi Kitamura and Steve Tamura last November launched the breakfast service, offering broiled salmon, CAFE TURKO noodles, and nigiri sets at 754 N. 34th St., 284-9954, slightly discounted prices. cafe-turko.com. » PRICE GUIDE My tray was crisscrossed 9 a.m.–8 p.m. daily. CAFE TURKO by masterfully cut tuna, a BREAKFAST PLATE $10 British Columbia scallop, BÖREK $4 and local sockeye salmon A&B CAFE A & B CAFE BREAKFAST PLATE $3 95 that, nestled into gently 670 S. Weller St., 625-0408. CHINESE DOUGHNUT $1 60 seasoned white rice, made 7:30 a.m.–8 p.m. SUSHI KAPPO TAMURA for a welcome revamp of the Sun.–Thurs., BREAKFAST PLATTER $25 traditional Sunday-morning 7:30 a.m.–9 p.m. Fri.–Sat. lox and bagel. The superlative sushi was accompanied by a tangle of tar-black hijiki and roasted squash, SUSHI KAPPO TAMURA a cup of full-bodied green tea, and a soybean2968 Eastlake Ave. E., 547-0937, and-octopus salad that tasted surprisingly like sushikappotamura.com. the porky beans beloved in Britain, another 5–9:30 p.m. Mon.–Thurs.; 5–10 p.m. Fri. fish-for-breakfast culture. 11 a.m.–2 p.m. & 5–10 p.m. Sat. Brunch is usually a lazy man’s meal, but 11 a.m.–2 p.m. & 5–9 p.m. Sun.

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food&drink»Featured Eats $ = $25 or less per person; $$ = $25–$40; $$$ = $40 and up. These capsule reviews are written by editorial staff and have nothing to do with advertising. For hundreds more reviews, searchable by neighborhood and type of cuisine, go to seattleweekly.com/food.

City of Seattle CAPITOL HILL

AYUTTHAYA 727 E. Pike St., 324-8833. Ayutthaya is the

quintessential neighborhood Thai restaurant. The decor is undistinguished, and five-star spicy dishes won’t wow any taste buds accustomed to Tabasco sauce, but the food is cheap and the service is kind. There are trade-offs for the low prices—frozen broccoli is a recurring motif—but the curries are silky and the rice dishes are surprisingly elegant. $ ELYSIAN BREWING CO. & PUBLIC HOUSE 1221 E. Pike St., 860-1920. This roomy Capitol Hill brewpub, which houses enormous steel brewing equipment right next to the tables and bar, reels in customers with its upscale bar food as much as its beers. The burgers and sandwiches, some stacked with locally made field roast, are obviously popular favorites. The big, golden fillets and steak fries on the fish and chips are hearty, as are the nachos—baked crisp and served with spicy salsa, sour cream, and a peanut-chile salsa. Everything washes down nicely with a seasonal Elysian beer (the Great Pumpkin Ale in the fall, the Bete Blanche Tripel in the spring), brewed feet away from where you’re sitting. $ MACHIAVELLI 1215 Pine St., 621-7941. This is a full-on New York-style neighborhood Italian joint transplanted to Capitol Hill, with the vinyl tablecloths, waitresses

who make you save your fork for your next course, and the consistently great food to prove it. The Caesar salad and pastas are excellent, pasta specials with seafood are likewise, and meats come with sides of fantastic roasted potatoes and garlicky sautéed greens. Machiavelli is a perfect date place, and has even hosted a few marriage proposals over the years. $$ ODDFELLOWS CAFE AND BAR 1525 10th Ave., 3250807. Oddfellows Cafe & Bar is a dining hall for the Capitol Hill of today. Decorated in washes of nostalgiagray-blue walls, scuffed wood tables, salvaged signs and portraits—it’s Linda Derschang’s most beautiful space yet, where old-timey cocktails served in Grandma’s glassware look like they’ve always shared tablespace with MacBooks. During the day, the place operates as a counter-service cafe, and at night as a bar and restaurant. The food classes up basic American food without sparking class resentment. The simple mac and cheese looks circumspect yet has a surprising depth of flavor, and the crisp coating on the “pork nuggets” house a dense hunk of carnitas. For every plate of clams with chorizo the kitchen puts out, it assembles six BLTs and chicken-salad sandwiches. The braised pork shank and meatballs with pine nuts, currants, and polenta are popular, but the menu’s also seasonal (the spring menu has a plethora of arugula, asparagus, and green peas, for example). Drinks flow with abundance—the full bar offers a small wine selection, specialty cocktails, canned and bottled beer, and Manny’s Pale Ale and others on tap. $-$$ PIKE STREET FISH FRY 925 E. Pike St., 329-7453. Pike Street Fish Fry on Capitol Hill transposes the fresh catches you’d find at Pike Place Market into greasy fried treats to complement late night beer-filled stomachs on one of the hippest blocks in town. Their fish

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afraid to snuggle next to a stranger. As I head for the restroom, a homeless woman standing at the bar looks me up and »by Kyle HouK down like I was a piece of meat and says, quite audibly, “Gorgeous.” The Barkeep: Dylan Randolph is friendly and courteous. He’s worked at the Cyclops for seven years. His salt-and-pepper hair is gelled upright and shaved on the sides, making him The Watering Hole: Cyclops Cafe and reminiscent of a graying Guile from the Street Lounge, 2421 First Ave., 441-1677, BELLTOWN Fighter video-game series. He tends bar like The Atmosphere: Having spent some earlyhe’s having fun, just hosting some friends. With afternoon quality time with my new friend Evan a smile, he brings me a second round without Williams, I hitched a ride on the #41 from my my having to ask. Though this may sound a bit home turf in Northgate and presumptuous, it’s the right barreled down the express move. A good host taps into lane to the Westlake station, his or her guest’s wavethen ambled to the corner of length, and Randolph does First Avenue and Wall Street. that with ease. The Drink: I have a Standing before me, as if Boundary Bay Brewery’s I were Odysseus, was the Cyclops 1 “Eye PA.” It’s Cyclops. amber and crisp. This beer Though I’ve passed it many is made exclusively for times (I used to be a BellCyclops and not sold anytowner), I really hadn’t given where else. It’s not as hoppy Cyclops the full treatment. But as most of the beers I enjoy, after taking her out for a test but exclusivity is always run, the ultimate compliment cool. I can pay Cyclops is that as Randolph the gray. The Verdict: Cyclops is I write this, I have one of the a fun, easygoing bar to get worst hangovers of my life. your evening going. Though The space is expansive, this hangover I’m fighting is not due exclusively with the bar on one side and a dining room on to the three drinks I had at Cyclops, it definitely the other. Hardened acrylic ponds rest within the owes its existence to the good mood I was put in cool rock bar, holding in suspended animation by bartender Randolph and company. I left seeMardi Gras beads, dice, Matchbox cars, and ing the world through a rose-colored monocle, other playful trinkets. On my left, a man and a much like the X-Men’s Cyclops character. The woman talk about Castro Street. On my right, a night marched on, and I ended up meeting some pair of fellows chat over a brewski. Though there people who work for the railroad all the live-long are many tables, they’re all vacant. There isn’t day, but that is another story altogether. E a single empty seat at the bar, however. That’s food@seattleweekly.com always neat to see, as it means people aren’t

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selections are always changing—marlin and sturgeon, shark and spearfish—but go with the cod for quite possibly the best fish and chips in town. Fish Fry also gets kudos for its generous number of vegetarian options: the fried green beans and asparagus are delicious and perfectly complemented with the assortment of dipping sauces. $ PO DOG 1009 E. Union St., 325-6055. Seattle’s hippest hotdoggery has played to packed crowds since its inception near Seattle University’s campus, offering draft beer, homemade chips, and a soundtrack dominated by gay-friendly tunes from artists such as the Smiths and Depeche Mode. The wieners themselves are nothing to write home about; rather, it’s the outrageous array of toppings and cooking styles that are Po Dog’s calling cards. There’s one with peanut butter and bananas on it, another with scrambled eggs, and two deep-fried varieties: (1) the wasabi egg-roll dog, which is deepfried sans bun, as though the tube steak were the filling; and (2) the deep fried danger dog, which is precisely the sort of lard-ass concoction Adam Richman from Man v. Food will be liable to hunker down in front of next time he visits town. ZAW ARTISAN PIZZA 1424 E. Pine St., 325-5528. The pitch: take-and-bake pizzas made with local, largely organic ingredients and given cutesy names (the “Vietzawm”). The procedure: Preheat your oven, then slide the pizza, laid out on a piece of parchment paper, onto the rack, and bake until the crust is brown and the cheese is bubbly. The ultra-thin crust gets crackly just at the point the toppings are cooked. The trick when picking a ‘zaw is to avoid all innovation—the caramelized onions and huge sage leaves on a “Savory Savary” unite in cloying sychronicity, for example, but a Chicago deli with bacon, prosciutto, salami, and pickled pepperoncini is a decent pie as well. $

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I’m sure the poor servers who take my review-visit orders assume I’m underfed or crazy. My companions and I never skip a course, and since I’m most interested in assessing a kitchen’s various skills, our picks are frequently nonsensical: If a patron asks for a side of French fries to accompany her steak and mashed potatoes, she’s probably either carb-starved or a working critic. So it was a real treat to make my first trip to Agrodolce (see “The Sweet Old Things,” March 13) all by myself. Freed from the responsibility of filling the table with incongruous dishes, and knowing I’d come back twice more with friends to polish off the menu, I was able to order just what I wanted. I started with a Scotch cocktail and bread, followed by cauliflower soup; duck cavatelli, paired with a glass of Valpolicella; and grilled tuna. For dessert, I asked for rice-pudding fritters and a glass of Fernet. To me, that’s not a particularly noteworthy meal. But my server apparently thought otherwise. Sometime after I ordered the wine—which she later revealed was the very wine she would have recommended—she returned to my table. “I have to ask you something,” she said. “Are you in the industry?” While I’d always worried that my scattered orders and endless questions would mark me

restaurant helmed by a big-name chef whose culinary resume includes a guest stint on Iron Chef America. Wayne Johnson’s dining room looks like a typical hotel restaurant, which is presumably what the solo diners and name tag-wearing conference goers who claimed tables on a recent weeknight thought they’d found. Their assumptions were tested by a string of bright, Mediterranean small plates showcasing fresh shellfish and local produce, including a paella thoughtfully sized for one. In addition to seasonal cuisine, Andaluca offers a respectable wine list, with 15 percent knocked off the price of every Washington wine bottle. $$$ DRAGONFISH ASIAN CAFÉ 722 Pine St., 467-7777. Before heading into the latest new movie or show, stop in for reasonably priced, shareable Korean bulgogi, Chinese pot stickers, yellowfin tuna with Thai red curry, and tamarind chicken satays. (And don’t forget your cocktails!) The wok station and the robata grill are ablaze with activity; sit near them if you want to watch the line cooks fly. Located in the Paramount Hotel, Dragonfish serves all meals, but is perhaps best known for its generous happy hour. $ FIFTH AVENUE CAFE 1522 Fifth Ave., 621-7137. A pleasant little sandwich spot whose decor is a mix of Mediterranean faux-finishes and frozen yogurt signs. While most of the fillings are standard (ham and cheese, turkey, roast beef, veggie, and a delectable chicken-walnut salad), the soft, hearty, baked-daily bread is not. A combo buys you a half sandwich—the size is nothing to pooh-pooh—plus a cup of soup and a chocolate-chip cookie. The house specialty: a creamy chicken dumpling soup with carrots, shredded chicken, and light gnocchi-like dumplings bobbing around. $ IL CORVO 217 James St. Ste. 300, 538-0999. There’s no shortage of great meals within walking distance of Seattle Weekly’s downtown offices, and Il Corvo— serving weekday lunches only—is no exception, even after their recent move from Western to James street. The spaghetti with briny cured tuna heart, crushed Calabrian chiles, olive oil and parsley leaves evokes

as a reviewer on the job, I suddenly realized the real mark of a dining pro is confidence and food fluency. (And an affection for Fernet Branca. As Food Republic reported a few months ago, “Chefs love Fernet. Bartenders love Fernet. People who write about chefs and bartenders love Fernet. Mario Batali loves Fernet. It ends about there.” To my server’s credit, she approached me before I dropped the amaro’s name.) Since I hate lying, I answered the server half-truthfully: Yes, I told her, I waitressed for years. “Do you miss it?” she asked. That response didn’t require any tweaking. When I’m sitting in my quiet office staring at a computer screen, I very much miss the bustle of a busy weekend night on the floor. When my server brought the bill, the soup and bread weren’t on it. “As an homage and a tribute to you being in the industry,” she explained. I suppose it’s possible that she knew why I was at the restaurant, and hoped to win me over with the $9 comp. But it seemed unlikely that she’d have confronted me if she did, which put me in the strange position of not being able to refuse the free food without revealing my identity. So I accepted the discount, leaving her with a tip (which I later realized wasn’t as generous as it should have been: I made the rookie mistake of not tipping on comped food) and the idea to drink Fernet with rice-pudding fritters. E hraskin@seattleweekly.com

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the feverish, lascivious spring that many chefs forsake in favor of celebrating the season’s tender greens. The pasta preparations change daily, so check chef Mike Easton’s blog for a running roster. $ METROPOLITAN GRILL 820 Second Ave., 624-3287. Unlike quaint, formal establishments like Canlis, you can walk into the Met, centrally located in downtown, in the standard Seattle work uniform of plaid shirt, jeans, and dark tennis shoes and shout at the TV screen. Whether this is a good thing is debatable, especially if you’re going to drop $75 on a porterhouse and a tumbler of top-shelf scotch. The steaks are, however, the dry-aged, Nebraska-raised (or Wagyu) kind; any carnivore, whether he’s dressed in work pants and a tee or a three-piece suit, will be able to taste the tender, juicy difference. The martinis are a perfect compliment to the savory juices. $$$ PALOMINO EURO BISTRO 1420 Fifth Ave. Ste 350, 6231300. Located on the top floor of City Center, Palomino is a stylish restaurant that attracts droves of twenty and 30-somethings, especially at the end of the work day. It serves standard midscale American fare (pasta, seafood, steak) that’s decent but forgettable. However, the happy hour (4-6 p.m. and 9 p.m.-close, daily) is a good deal, featuring $7.95 brick oven pizzas, sub-$10 appetizers like calamari and mussels, $4 house wines, and $5 specialty cocktails. Better still, your server will validate your parking so you can enjoy a downtown romp after your meal. $$ PLACE PIGALLE 81 Pike St., 624-1756. There comes a point in every relationship that brings you to the Pike Place Market: either things have gotten very new or very old. With its checkered floors and unbeatable views, Place Pigalle doesn’t have to show off. You, on the other hand, are likely in the position of needing to pick up a few points, which is where this tucked-away respite comes in handy. The French-inspired menu will back up your presumable good taste, with enough breadth and flair to encompass both old-fashioned rabbit roulade and fusion ingredients like jicama and daikon. Chilled crab, half or whole, is a satisfying splurge of a starter; if Alaskan halibut is on the menu, order it. SAZERAC 1101 Fourth Ave., 624-7755. A Sazerac is a cocktail highly favored by cultivated New Orleanians, and there’s a strong Creole accent to Jason McClure’s menu: catfish, crawdads, and spicy andouille sausage served with everything from breakfast eggs to late-night pizza. Even the West Coast influence can’t lighten up the food—truth be told, the more time your dish has spent in hot oil, the better. Duck breasts and roasted vegetable platters, no. Beignets and shrimp cakes, yes. $$$

EASTLAKE & SOUTH LAKE UNION

I LOVE SUSHI 1001 Fairview Ave. N., 625-9604. People

love I Love Sushi. I Love Sushi is bright and clean, with a bright and clean staff, and bright, clean-tasting sushi. The popular spider roll surrounds a soft-shell crab with avocado, cucumber, mayonnaise, rice, and flying fish eggs; the I Love Roll, with unagi (broiled eel), is equally well loved. I Love Sushi leans toward the upscale— both atmosphere and food are reliably lovable for I Love Sushi lovers, who crowd into both the South Lake Union and Bellevue restaurants to love them. $

FREMONT

BRAD’S SWINGSIDE CAFE 4212 Fremont Ave. N., 633-

4057. Fremont—the Fremont worth saving—survives and prospers as long as Brad Inserra is behind the stove at the Swingside. Inserra loves sautés, braises, and fricassees, often robed in dense, spice-scented tomato sauces. He loves piling nuggets of fresh seafood atop swirls of pasta, secreting seasonal mushrooms and vegetables in one-dish meals, creating a kind of regional Calabrian gumbo from whatever’s in good supply right now. And all this hearty cooking is served in nicely noisy intimacy in a cozy space that makes diners feel like friends of the family. $$ PASEO CARIBBEAN RESTAURANT 4225 Fremont Ave. N., 545-7440. It’s a good idea to call Paseo first if you’re planning a lunch there. They make food until they run out, which can happen very early on a Saturday. “Do you still have pork?” you ask. “Yeah, for now,” the guy who answers the phone replies, before hanging up on you to deal with the line stretching out the front door and up Fremont Avenue. Almost every one of those people is here for the Cuban Roast sandwich, constructed of roasted pork shoulder, aioli, crunchy lettuce, cilantro, and just enough jalapenos to give it heat without numbing your tongue. There’s no “Oh, I’ll just have half and save the rest for later” here. You will devour the whole thing, scooping up the sandwich filling that falls onto your plate and licking the last bits

food&drink»Featured Eats of pork off your fingers. Paseo does have other items, even entrées, on the menu, and word is they’re pretty good. But the Cuban Roast is the platonic form of “sandwich.” Just make sure you get there before the “sold out” tags kept by the register start showing up on the menu. TAWON THAI 3410 Fremont Ave. N., 633-4545. Thai restaurants in Fremont are almost as common as two-year-olds in Columbia City. Tawon Thai looks as pleasantly appointed as its competitors, but the kitchen doesn’t sugar up its curries as much as the others do or lighten up the fish sauce and lime on its salads. The cooks also diverge a bit further afield from the standards. If you’ve eaten a hundred different pad see euws in your life, try the kow soi, curried noodles laced with pickled cabbage; if you’re dead bored with spring rolls, order the miang kam, and fill raw spinach leaves with delicate pinches of dried shrimp, coconut, lime, peanuts, and onions. Not so common at all. $

GREENWOOD & PHINNEY RIDGE

PICNIC : A FOOD + WINE BOUTIQUE 6801

Greenwood Ave. N., 453-5867. A charming wine and gourmet-products shop with local cheeses, jarred goods (such as Renee Erickson’s pickles), and porktastic house-made rillettes. If you eat in, pass over the cold-case salads in favor of sandwiches like the housemade corned beef on rye. $-$$

INTERNATIONAL DISTRICT

663 BISTRO 663 S. Weller St., 667-8760. The most ornate

thing about this tasty little Hong Kong-style restaurant may be the sweet smell of barbecue wafting off the cherrywood-colored birds hanging in its entry—point at a chicken or strip of pork, and the butcher will hack it and pack it, ladling extra marinade overtop. The restaurant’s menu focuses on congee, noodles, and simple Cantonese entrées (ong choy with preserved tofu sauce, hot pot with pork and oysters). Scattered among the fried rices and stir-fried clams are fascinating if hit-or-miss CantoWestern dishes like baked pork chop with tomato sauce and 663’s magical French toast: slices of Wonder bread

stuck together with syrup, battered, and deep-fried. $

PHO BAC 1314 S. Jackson St., 323-4387. This location is the

seat of the Pho Bac empire, its point of origin. Everything about this soup-and-that’s-all kitchen speaks of Vietnam, from the decor, to the little colored plastic stools the staff crouch on, to the plate of holy basil, bean sprouts, jalapeño, and lime that arrives alongside your pho for garnishing. The long-cooked brisket and tendon here are particularly appealing. If you want the full Hanoi experience, order some crullers to tear up and dip into the broth. $

LESCHI & MADRONA

DANIEL’S BROILER 200 Lake Washington Blvd., 329-4191.

Daniel’s Broiler requires a clientele that’s notoriously unimaginative—financiers in business suits, tourists keen to eat red meat in and retirees drawn by reliable valet parking—to flex their imaginations. The Lake Union restaurant looks the part of a classic steakhouse, from the private wine cabinets to raw beef display case, but so much here doesn’t work. Guests fond of the dockside view are forced to imagine the sourdough rolls aren’t rock hard, the French onion soup isn’t greasy and the Caesar salad isn’t overloaded with garlic. But the service is kind, if corny (a middle-aged busser named Ricardo smilingly offered “more tequila?” when he refilled our water glasses.) And the steaks, thick with mesquite smoke, would be considered decent at half the price. $$$ THAT’S AMORE 1425 31st Ave. S., 322-3677. There are some spectacular vantage points that no one should tell the tourists about. Olympic Sculpture Park: for everyone. Above the I-90 tunnel: just for us. Though its rear window looks across the Rainier Valley to downtown and the Sound, That’s Amore defies every expectation of a “view” restaurant. The place is filled at lunch and dinner with Mount Baker residents, who come for the homey, inexpensive pastas, giant meatballs, juicy roasted pork loin, and the servers, who seem to know every diner’s quirks and preferences. $$

MAGNOLIA & INTERBAY

GIM WAH RESTAURANT 3418 W. McGraw St., 284-

7000. It’s a dark Chinese dive that serves standard, unspectacular food and stiff drinks. Located in Magnolia where it sticks out like a sore thumb, Gim Wah’s sturdy

and loyal client base are best described as a community of apartment dwellers who are more Deadliest Catch than Knots Landing. One of the menu favorites is Gim Wah’s BLT, which we consideredmerely serviceable. $

SOUTH PARK

JUAN COLORADO 8709 14th Ave. S., 764-9379. This family-

owned Mexican restaurant has been one of Seattle’s stalwarts since the emergence of South Park as a Latino neighborhood. Now worn in, the sprawling place attracts big-screen TV watchers to its bar and families to its booths. The food’s not as good as legends suggest, but it’s still better than most Seattle Mexican: The chile verde pork is nothing to swear by, for instance. The caldo de camarón (shrimp soup) is popular, enchiladas and fajitas are hearty and filling, and the just-griddled tortillas come from a press, not a plastic bag. $

UNIVERSITY DISTRICT

THAIGER ROOM 4228 University Way N.E, 632-9299. You

might be wondering how a Thai restaurant could stand out in the U District, considering University Way is populated by as many Asian food spots as the ID. For the most part, however, students seem to be more attracted to what’s cheaper rather than what’s better. Hence, passing by the Thaiger Room’s front door without seeing a sign announcing a two-for-one discount can seem a little off-putting. But do you really want to spend the night holding your stomach, wishing you’d backed off on the dried-out tofu (no, it’s not supposed to look like a prune!), drenched in bland peanut sauce, that you ate elsewhere? While the Thaiger Room may not have the killer deals that some of its neighbors do, it offers some of the best fried tofu in town. Served straight from the deep fryer onto a plate of pad Thai, the tofu left the top of my mouth feeling a little singed, curable with a glass of Singha. Old-school Madonna plays overhead, and you can watch your food sizzle in the pans if you sit at the bar near the front door. And the best part? Absolutely no regrets. $

WEST SEATTLE

ABBONDANZA PIZZERIA 6503 California Ave. S.W., 935-

8989. Seems the food winds have turned our minds toward pizza once again—more specifically, New York-style pizza

and authentically Italian pizza. Taking equal inspiration from both is an unostentatious little joint in West Seattle. While Abbondanza’s Margherita can’t really compete with the newbie Neapolitan ovens in town (the mozzarella is a little too dense and the basil far too scant), the portobello pizza is absolutely divine. Notice the absolute thinness of the crisp crust, the lovely bubbles of char, the wonderful way it graciously carries the toppings without competing for your attention. $ SUPER DELI & GROCERY 9051 35th Ave. S.W., 937-1442. The unassuming establishment (which bears an astounding resemblance to 7-11) is a mecca for some of the finest alcohol in town. Five or six beers are featured on tap behind the counter, where meaty, cheesy sandwiches on French rolls are also prepared. Two beers owner Min Chung plans to tap have never been tapped in the entire state of Washington. The deli hosts community tastings with brewery reps every two weeks, which consistently rake in around 100 attendees. $

BELLEVUE

BULGOGI KOREAN BBQ 15600 N.E. Eighth St.

(Crossroads Shopping Mall), 425-747-7212. Koreanstyle barbecue, or bulgogi, can be had at this simple mall stop. Choose from beef, chicken, or pork, marinated in soy sauce, sesame oil, ginger, and red pepper. The grilled meat comes with a plate of rice and veggies. $ MEDITERRANEAN KITCHEN 103 Bellevue Way N.E., Bellevue, 425-462-9422. After the first bite of zahrah, a deep-fried cauliflower appetizer, you may forget that you’re in a former one-hour photo shop. Try the lamb couscous and chicken shawarma (a combination of red wine-marinated chicken, grilled onion, and green pepper) under a sauce of garlic and lemon. $ THAI GINGER 3717 Factoria Blvd. S.E., Bellevue, 425641-4008. The special at Thai Ginger, with locations in Bellevue, Redmond, Issaquah and Downtown and Madison Park in is a must-try for ginger lovers, containing ginger strips sautéed in a dark sauce with onions, mushrooms, green peppers, and chicken or beef. For appetizers, try the coconut-milk-marinated chicken satay or the tom kah gai. Good entrées include the cashew chicken or a bowl of good old red curry. $

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Worst. Gig. Ever.

It may have been where they filmed Northern Exposure, but Roslyn was not “Our Town” for Iris DeMent. BY CHARLES R. CROSS

PIETA BROWN

Fifteen years after the incident, Iris DeMent released one of the best albums of 2012.

minutes or so, the P.A would squeal like an airraid siren and the entire crowd would cover their ears. Will Ferrell would run out and mess around with his wires for a bit, and the show would resume. Then the dog came in. He entered through one of the open doors. He was a big Germanshepherd mix who looked a bit mean and some-

Then the dog came in— a big German-shepherd mix who looked a bit mean and something just short of mad. thing just short of mad—exactly the kind of stray you’d imagine on the streets of Cicely, Alaska. He made a loop through the auditorium. Probably because of his large teeth, no one made a move to shoo him. Still, every person in the room, including DeMent, was fixated on him. It appeared to me that he was surveying the crowd, looking for his owner. He made another loop, then left. DeMent looked relieved, and for a brief moment the P.A. cooperated and let her complete one

song without squealing. But since it wasn’t “Our Town,” the audience remained disengaged. Then the dog came back. He continued to circle the crowd, DeMent continued to play, the sound system continued to go out, and the crowd continued to shout “Our Town” at the end of every song that wasn’t “Our Town.” At one point when the P.A. seemed to permanently quit, right about the time the dog was directly in front of the stage and Will Ferrell was onstage fooling around with some wires, I could see DeMent begin to break. She started to cry. Some of her songs were weepy already (put on 1994’s “My Life” and see if you can get through it without a tear on a good day), but this was too much. She decided to put an end to her misery and ours, and immediately began singing “Our Town.” The entire auditorium of Northern Exposure fans leapt to their feet screaming, as if they were the audience at an Oprah taping and they’d just all been given Corollas. Even the German shepherd seemed happy, and he began to bark. DeMent finished the song, and the concert, and left the stage to uproarious applause. She came back for an encore and played the only song she could—“Our Town.” It’s the only time I’ve ever seen a performer end with a song and immediately encore with the same number.

I went to see her backstage, which was just a hallway in the old school. She was mortified that a member of the press was present, but I promised not to review the show (a promise I’m breaking here, though I hope I make up for it when I tell you that her Sing the Delta was my favorite album of 2012, that I’ve seen her five times since the Roslyn show without incident, and that you should immediately buy tickets to her upcoming Northwest gigs). “That dog,” she wailed backstage. “He was just too much.” When I left Moosefest, the crowd of Northern Exposure devotees had run off to a dinner with Barry “Maurice” Corbin, an actor from the show. But the dog was still there, sitting in front of the auditorium, looking content now that the ruckus had ended. I love dogs and thought about petting him. Given the day, I thought better of it. E

music@seattleweekly.com

IRIS DEMENT The Triple Door, 216 Union St., 838-4333, thetripledoor.net. $35. 7:30 p.m. Sat., March 23. (DeMent also plays Bainbridge Island’s Grace Episcopal Church on Sunday and The Triple Door again on Monday, both sold out.)

SEATTLE WEEKLY • M ARCH 20 — 26, 2013

Facebook group I’m part of recently started a discussion about the 1985 Violent Femmes show at Gorilla Gardens. It was one of my most memorable concert experiences because it nearly turned into a riot when the Seattle Fire Department attempted to shut it down. The SFD, perhaps wisely, pointed out that the International District club—long demolished now—had few fire exits. The promoter grabbed a chainsaw and cut a gaping hole in the wall. Instant fire exit. Riot averted. But even though that was one for the ages, it hardly ranks with a Roslyn concert I saw Iris DeMent give in 1997. There are bad gigs, there are terrible shows, and there is this one. It was so weird, terrible, and unique, I’m still talking about it at dinner parties a decade and a half later. None of it was Iris’ fault. For any musician, this would have been the ultimate nightmare of all time. The afternoon concert was part of Moosefest, a gathering of fans of the television comedy/ drama Northern Exposure, which should have been the first sign that this was to be a hellish day. Though the program was based in the fictional town of Cicely, Alaska, it was filmed in Roslyn (or on a soundstage in Redmond). When the show went off the air in 1995, “Mooseheads” (like Deadheads but without the tie-dye) decided to hold these yearly conventions and do things like auction shirts worn by the “Dr. Joel Fleischman” character. Iris DeMent was booked as the entertainment for Moosefest because her song, “Our Town,” had been featured in the show’s finale. I’d interviewed her a few times for The Rocket earlier in her career, and positively reviewed the couple of albums she’d released. Her manager told me she was doing the fan-fest gig, so I drove out to Roslyn. The show went bad fast. It was a hot day, and she was to play in the old Roslyn High School auditorium, which lacked air conditioning, so all the exterior doors were open. The opening act was a man and woman exactly like Will Ferrell and Ana Gasteyer in their SNL music-teacher duo skit, the Culps. They played songs about unicorns, “the fire in the sky,” and how red a ruby is. It wasn’t just that they were terrible, but that the sound kept squeaking, whereupon the Will Ferrell look-alike, apparently doubling as the sound guy, had to fiddle with the P.A. as if it were a finicky car engine. DeMent followed. There was polite applause when she began her set of songs from her critically acclaimed Americana albums. But it was quickly apparent that the two hundred or so Northern Exposure fanatics sitting in folding chairs had no idea who Iris DeMent was, or any familiarity with her music beyond the one song she had in one episode. “Play ‘Our Town,’ ” someone yelled out after the first song. The P.A. continued to be a problem. DeMent has a delicate voice that she accompanies with subtle acoustic-guitar playing. But every two

Reverb» »REVERB QUESTIONNAIRE

Nick’s Picks

Ron Swanson finds some prime Seattleites.

Hammer Time

Nick Offerman on Donny, Marie, and George Michael’s caboose.

BY NICK OFFERMAN

SEATTLE WEEKLY • MARCH 20 — 26, 2013

An unemployed mother in town from distant Alaska, a hardworking student balls-deep in the arts . . . tough to beat.

also makes me poor. I am throwing my money into a douchebag hole. I love Nick Offerman, and because of my smothering debt I cannot afford tickets. If this does not pan out I will probably sell my plasma so that I can see him. Please don’t make me sell my plasma. #3 disqualifies him/herself by the foolishness exhibited in having signed up for law school to begin with. 7. I think you should give me the tickets because March 21st is a fated day. My mom will be in town visiting me from Alaska, and Parks and Rec is our favorite show to watch together! We are both huge fans of the show! My mom has been having a hard time the last few years because she’s unemployed and can’t find work, and a good majority of my Dad’s earnings are going to my college tuition. I am double majoring in music therapy and vocal performance at Seattle Pacific University, and I’ve stayed on the Dean’s List the entire time. I think my Mom and I should get the tickets because we couldn’t afford them otherwise, and while she’s here a surprise night out to see one of our favorite TV stars would be a memorable bonding experience. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this! #7 brings a lot to the table to recommend him/her. An unemployed mother in town from distant Alaska, a hardworking student balls-deep in the arts . . . tough to beat. 9. I am a poor public servant working at Seattle City Government. Free is in my price range. Ron Swanson is my hero. #9 cites pennilessness, but also admits to working for the government without disparaging said government in any way. Fail. 14. I should get the free tickets because I am unemployed and cannot afford to see the show otherwise. And I think Nick Offerman must be a

wonderful person since Megan Mullally opted to marry him! #14 brandishes little quality beyond an entrée of paucity, augmented by a side dish of compliments. 23. . . . because there’s no way I could afford to take my wife to this, but she loves this guy! #23 whips out a little romance, which I like. I like it a lot. Treating your wife to an evening of American Ham is Chivalry 101, pure and simple. Well played, 23. I’m feeling the tickets hanging in the balance between #7 and #23. Prime numbers, both, a solid recommendation for any contest. This is difficult, choosing between a gift of pleasure for a mother and a commensurate prize for a wife. Son of a bitch. Deciding between the happiness of these two ladies has proven impossible. Seattle Weekly, please award the two tickets to #7, the mom from Alaska, and I will add two of my own personal tickets to be bestowed upon the fruitful coupling of #23 and his bride. Thanks to all of you who participated! I am sincerely touched that anyone would be interested in seeing me flap my gums for 90 minutes. I will do my best to keep you from disappointment. Enjoy the show. Yours, Nick Offerman

COURTESY NBC

Editor’s Note: Seattle Weekly offered free tickets to Parks and Recreation star Nick Offerman’s show at the Moore on Thursday to the reader who could provide the best reason they deserved them. Mr. Offerman himself agreed to judge the responses. Seattle Weekly, I have whittled the choices down to these five below, because they all cite poverty to be the reason they should be awarded free tickets. That is a more simple and honest answer, rife with integrity. Many of the responses, while humorous and edifying, are dripping with flattery of one sort or another, which would make for an unseemly choice in my estimation: 3. I am in law school. I hate being in law school because people who want to be lawyers and people who have taken the terrible plunge and become actual lawyers are terrible. I will not be a lawyer. It

Reverb Questionnaire is a list of (mostly) static questions we pose to folks outside the music industry. The questions are all answered via e-mail. This week, Nick Offerman, who portrays the steak-eating, woodworking Ron Swanson on NBC’s Parks & Recreation, took a minute to answer the questions before his show at the Moore.

SW: What music have you been listening to today? Did you like it? Offerman: Tom Waits, Mule Variations. And I

didn’t merely like it. In fact, my blood thrilled to the sounds of his voice and his bucket. What’s your preferred method for listening to music (iPod, car, home stereo, etc.)?

Loud in my woodshop.

When was the last time you heard “Stairway to Heaven”? Did you turn it off?

Probably on a classic-rock station whilst driving a rental car before rentals all had satellite radio. I did not turn it off. I let it blow like a motherfucker. Do you play an instrument?

I play the saxophone at an intermediate level (“intermediate” might be a generous estimation), and I am also a student of the guitar. Do you still listen to anything you were listening to in high school? If so, what?

I still greatly enjoy the Mills Brothers, which was always playing in my dad’s basement shop on WJJD out of Chicago, I believe. Beyond that, I didn’t have great music in high school. My cousin and I were a break-dancing team, and we had whatever hip-hop and funk we could lay our hands on. Surviving that era in my library is The Gap Band, Kool and the Gang, and Parliament. What was the first band/ artist you saw in concert? Would you see them again?

George Michael. Before earning my own driver’s license, I had to go along to whatever my older sister and cousin would drive me to, so I saw his tour circa 1984 or so. He is really quite a top-drawer entertainer, and I had a great time, although the screaming ladies

were a bit scary whenever George would ask the crowd, “You wanna see my bum?” I would happily see George again, as he is a beautiful singer, whether he gives us a look at his caboose or not. What was the last band/artist you saw in concert? Worth your time?

The last show I saw was Iron and Wine at the old Prospector’s Festival in Austin. Worth a good deal more than my time. Frontman Sam Beam’s songwriting and voice are as good as it gets. He’s like a wizard, singing sublime short stories with his magickal pipes. I was astonished with delight at his 10-minute song “The Trapeze Swinger.” Before that was Merle Haggard and Kris Kristofferson at the Greek in L.A. Amazing showmen and storytellers. I received a hell of a good education that night, with the added pleasure of sitting next to my foxy bride.

When you sing karaoke, what’s your go-to number?

Hm. I guess “If I Had a Hammer.” How do you feel about ABBA?

I would say I have pleasant memories of their music from my youth.

What is the last song you want to hear before you die?

Tough one. My wife singing “Annie Laurie” or “Danny Boy”; Tom Waits’ “Come On Up to the House” or “Lucky Day.” Oh no, duh. I got it. My wife’s cover of Tom Waits’ “Take It With Me.” Nailed it. Please share a favorite musical moment/ story from your past.

Just this last Christmas, my wife and I went to see Donny and Marie’s Christmas spectacular at the Pantages in L.A. The show was fantastic, because the Osmond siblings have incredible voices and showmanship (and showwomanship!). The show was fresh and funny, but it also filled me with nostalgia, thinking of watching their TV show during my youth and theirs. I could never decide back then if I wanted to be a little bit country or a little bit rock ’n’ roll. I guess I’m still somewhere in between. At one point in the show, Marie randomly picked me from the audience to come onstage and dance a pasodoble with her. She eventually recognized me from Parks and Rec, then had me sing a duet of “Blue Christmas” with her, which went over big with the crowd, despite my voice, and I received some rousing applause before being sent back to Megan in the audience, where she sat doubled over with laughter. Singing onstage with Marie made me feel like a nervous teenager, and the packed audience was so supportive, it was one of the greatest feelings I’ve had in a lifetime of stage work. I felt as giddy as a schoolgirl. I guess it’s because I wasn’t supposed to be onstage this particular time that made it so fun. E

music@seattleweekly.com

NICK OFFERMAN: AMERICAN HAM TOUR The Moore, 1932 Second Ave., 467-5510, stgpresents.org. $33. 8 p.m. Thurs., March 21.

Reverb»Reviews »EVERY LOCAL RELEASE

LOCAL BANDS Dyslexic, In Bob We Trust EP (out now, selfreleased, dyslexichiphop.bandcamp.com): With a great voice and a decent sense of humor, Dyslexic comes through with jokey tracks “Girls Theme Song” and “A Dyslexic Mind,” but stumbles over a jacked Tupac beat on “Mr. Rock Any Party” and others. TODD HAMM Andy Glover, Visions of the Future EP (out now, Grumpy Old Bear Artist’s Collective, grumpyoldbear. bandcamp.com): Recorded in one threehour take, Glover gently pairs honest lyrics with simple chords; from the love-laden “Play Along” to the self-reflection of “End of the Line,” his raw, subtle performance—somewhere between Sam Beam and Ben Gibbard—leaves you nostalgic for a future that hasn’t happened quite yet. (April 13, Cafe Racer) MARTHA

I Am Empire, Anchors (3/26, Tooth & Nail, myspace.com/iamempire): Anchors explodes out of the gate with “Gravity Bomb,” which builds on itself in a constant alt-rock crescendo similar to Muse’s. “Gasoline” takes a harder approach, with strong harmonized vocals and a powerful chorus right out of AFI’s playbook. JOE WILLIAMS

Miniature Airlines, And Everything Collapsed. (out now, Pleasure Boat, miniatureairlines.com): The album’s eight electronic tracks are all friendly, intelligent, and complete, with progressions that roll along naturally like an interesting conversation; that producer Dylan Abbott is able to craft this tone using uncomplicated arrangements is all the more impressive. (Sunday, Electric Tea Gardens) TH

Rebel, “Safeco” (out now, selfreleased, realrebel. bandcamp.com/track/ safeco-prod-by-drewbeats-radio): Vitamin D’s son raps smooth stoner verses over Drew Beats’ cloudy instrumental like a seasoned vet. TH

TESEMA

Angela Hammontree, Bitter Vines EP (out now, self-released, angelahammontree. bandcamp.com): Hammontree’s lusty croon recalls Melissa Etheridge, Ann Wilson, and Grace Slick, and her band’s classic-rock licks tether them to a fitting blue-collar sound. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT

Kelly Castle Scott, Terra Galactica (out now, self-released, kellycastlescott.bandcamp.com): Part hip-hop, part electro-soul, Terra Galactica is an impressive release overflowing with witty quips and Scott’s powerful, fluid voice. “Pre-Nup to Hectic,” a standout track, feels weightless as it bounces and bops to a dark beat. JW

mainstage

dinner & show

WED/MARCH 20 • 7:30PM - 91.3 KBCS WELCOMES

anais mitchell and jefferson hamer w/ frank fairfield THU/MARCH 21 • 8PM - 90.3 KEXP PRESENTS

sera cahoone w/ gregory paul FRI/MARCH 22 • 8PM

gypsy soul

SAT/MARCH 23 • 7:30PM & MON/MARCH 25 • 7:30PM TRUE WEST PRESENTS

iris dement

SUN/MARCH 24 • 8PM

the kinsey sicks WED/MARCH 27 • 8PM

kings: a boylesque extravaganza

* Hey Marseilles, Lines We Trace (3/5, Onto Entertainment, heymarseilles.com):

WED/MARCH 28 • 7:30PM

cahalen and eli w/ brittany haas

happy hour every day

MARTIN WATSON

Of its 12 tracks, two fully instrumental songs, “Madrona” and “Demian,” showcase an impeccable harmonizing of piano and strings as the band shows interest (and much talent) for more developed (orchestral!) compositions; elsewhere, Matt Bishop’s quaint lyrics and mellow vocals round out the album’s pure, unfussy sound. ASHLEY ROE

• 3/20 the bayous / afrocop • 3/21 mozo / letters from traffic • 3/22 vaudeville etiquette / spoonshine • 3/23 the roy kay trio • 3/24 kasata sound • 3/25 free funk union w/ rotating hosts: d’vonne lewis and adam kessler • 3/26 singer-songwriter showcase with abi anderson, eric miller and zach gore (bright lines) • 3/27 the true romans / fawcett symons and fogg TO ENSURE THE BEST EXPERIENCE · PLEASE ARRIVE EARLY DOORS OPEN 1.5 HOURS PRIOR TO FIRST SHOW · ALL-AGES (BEFORE 9:30PM)

thetripledoor.net

216 UNION STREET, SEATTLE · 206.838.4333

SEATTLE WEEKLY • M ARCH 20 — 26, 2013

next • 3/27 kings: a boylesque extravaganza • 3/28 cahalen and eli w/ brittany haas • 3/29 gimme shelter: the dusty 45s, star anna, shane tutmarc • 3/30 the english beat • 3/31 mycle wastman w/ nyoka • 4/2 battlefield band • 4/4 my goodness w/ the comettes • 4/5 steep canyon rangers • 4/6 janis ian w/ diana jones • 4/7 crystal bowersox acoustic duo • 4/12 super jam plays squeeze • 4/13 massy ferguson w/ the bgp • 4/14 portland cello project • 4/16 zach fleury w/ courtney marie andrews • 4/17 trace bundy • 4/18 simone dinnerstein and tift merritt in night • 4/19 blame sally w/ erin corday • 4/21 & 22 bobby “blue” bland • 4/23 & 4/24 shuggie otis • 4/25 john keister & brooks mcbeth • 4/27 one-man star wars trilogy • 4/28 sarah elizabeth charles / swojo • 4/30 k’s choice (acoustic trio) w/ a fragile tomorrow

Reverb»

Peanuts & Pirates

Why I was kicked out of a Guns N’ Roses bootleg shop in Tokyo. BY DUFF MCKAGAN

RESERVE THE TROPHY ROOM FOR YOUR NEXT EVENT!

PAUL HUTZLER

Join us in the Trophy Room for Happy Hour: Thursday Bartender Special 8-Close Fridays: 5-8pm

COCKTAILS • TASTY HOT DOGS • LOTSA PINBALL

2222 2ND AVENUE • SEATTLE

206-441-5449

SEATTLE WEEKLY • MARCH 20 — 26, 2013

DUELING PIANO PARTY

A little bit naughty, a little bit nice... a whole lotta fun. Call or Scan QR Code for reservations!

315 2nd Ave Seattle 206.839.1300 ilove88keys.com

lying and layovers are a key component to tours—like the one I just wrapped up through Australia and Japan—where there is no traveling by van or bus. In fact, if you’ve seen Anthony Bourdain’s TV show about layovers in different cities around the world, you have a pretty good idea of what a rock tour is like (if you add a gig and takeout, that is). One of the first things I do when I travel to a new city is try and discover what the locals do. I’m not too big on the touristy type of stuff, unless I’m with my family. Tourist food and tourist factoids all seem to blend together into a homogenized stew of ersatz nachos and cardboard hamburgers. Between Perth, Australia, and Tokyo we had a 10-hour layover in Singapore. Singapore sits just 70 miles from the equator, so heat and mug-

What caught my eye was a Metallica/GNR split-band T-shirt in the front window. Of course, this shirt never existed in real life. giness are factors if you choose to go out of the airport (which I did). Although a cab into the heart of the city is only $9, you have to make sure that the area you are going to is “open.” The area I went to was not open, so I treated myself to a long and aimless walk in the heat. I finally found a local place to eat, and I was so damn hungry by the time I was served my meal that I will forever love the taste of fishheads over goats’ innards (or whatever the hell I ate). But all this travel talk is really just a lead-up to something that happened when I finally got to Tokyo. My family was to join me there for the end of my trip. My daughters had never been to Japan, and they were super-excited to go to an area in Tokyo called Harajuku (it has a trippy, Capitol Hill–esque vibe . . . on steroids). The day before they arrived, I decided to cab it over to Harajuku and do a little “recon” of the area so that I could guide us through the maze with as much ease as

The author, right, on a shopping spree in Tokyo with drummer Burke Thomas.

possible. (I have learned this recon tactic by getting lost with kids in tow too many times. Not cool or fun.) During my cab ride, my stomach started to rebel from my questionable meal in Singapore the day before. This happens all the time on the road, and my cure-all (passed down from our road-dog forefathers in DOA and Black Flag. No shit.) is salted peanuts. Upon my arrival in Harajuku, I ducked in to a 7-Eleven type of store and got a nice peanut-and-rice cracker mixture. Perfect for eating and recon-ing on the go! Harajuku is all connected by alleyway streets lined with themed shops in amazing contrast to each other: punk-rock clothes next to pastelonly skirt shops next to early-’80s N.Y. beat-boy clothing next to a Star Wars store. It becomes obvious that many of the printed T-shirts with band names or Star Wars characters are bootlegs (last time I checked, Skywalker’s first name is “Luke,” not “Look”). It was in one of these alleyways that I stumbled upon a rock-and-roll (bootleg) T-shirt store. What caught my eye was a Metallica/ GNR split-band T-shirt in the front window. Of course, this shirt never existed in real life back in the day, but it got me to further peruse the inside of the store. I was met with a dazzling array of O.G. Guns N’ Roses shirts with some “artwork” close to the original and other “artwork” comically missing. Just as I was looking at a skull-guys-on-the-cross GNR shirt (where we all looked more like chimps than dastardly rockand-roll hellions), I was asked to leave . . . for eating inside of the store. I was relieved that they didn’t recognize me. I rather hope that I look nothing like a skull-chimpy type of rocker. Nope. I’m a rockand-roll hellion, with salted peanuts . . . on a mission to find the bunny-petting cafe and nail salon and Alice in Wonderland–themed restaurant in Harajuku. I’m a bad-ass. E Duff McKagan is the founding bassist of Guns N’ Roses and the leader of Seattle’s Loaded. His column runs every Thursday at seattleweekly.com/reverb.

askduff@seattleweekly.com

Reverb»The Short List

Josh Ritter brings his breakup album to the Neptune on Saturday. LAURA WILSON

Kitty Pryde THURSDAY, MARCH 21

Working at Claire’s isn’t the ordinary path to pop stardom, but suburban teenage rapper Kitty Pryde’s path has been far from ordinary. She was the unlikeliest success story of 2012, finding her collaboration with rapper Riff Raff going viral and landing “Okay Cupid” on Rolling Stone’s list of the best songs of 2012. More than that, though, her talk-flow mumble and everygirl lyrics have earned her as many fans as detractors. “You’re unable to discern if I’m the wunderkind or underdog,” she offers on “Dead Island.” “So fuck it all, I’m the wonderwall.” Come see which side of the fence you’re on. With Lisa Dank. The Crocodile, 2118 Second Ave., 441-4618. 8 p.m. $14. DAVE LAKE

FRIDAY, MARCH 22

Comprising former Pearl Jam drummer Dave

Tavern, 5433 Ballard Ave. N.W., 784-4880. 10 p.m. $10. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT

Josh Ritter and the Royal City Band

Joey Bada$$ SUNDAY, MARCH 24

SATURDAY, MARCH 23

Josh Ritter has made six studio albums of jangly Americana that’s as appropriate a companion for your cross-country road trip as it is for the morning coffee you sip as you bask in the feeling of being in love. His seventh, The Beast in Its Tracks, is a change of pace. Specifically, it’s a breakup album, written and recorded in the 18 months following the end of Ritter’s marriage. Sure, there are bitter moments: Ritter addresses his ex in a sort of “I hope you’re happy, but not really” way on tracks like “Bonfire” and “Nightmares.” But Beast is not the work of a man scorned. Rather, it’s a reflective piece—the product of an artist who’s had time to look back on the crap he’s gone through and found the inspiration to continue living life. With Lake Street Dive. Neptune Theater. SOLD OUT.

KEEGAN PROSSER

Next to resurgent Odd Future standout Earl Sweatshirt and gun-waving Chicagoan Chief Keef, Joey Bada$$ is the most buzzed-about young rapper on the national scene right now, and for good reason: The kid is raw. His style not only pays tribute to old-school (young Nas) and renaissance-era (Black Star) New York rap, it’s brought some of that era’s greats out of the woodwork (you heard DJ Premier scratching up his “Unorthodox” cut?!). He’s also killed it lately on tape with new-school innovators like AbSoul and A$AP Rocky, and held his own. He’s bringing it tonight with his Progressive Era (aka Pro Era) team (sadly minus the recently, tragically departed Capital STEEZ). With Flatbush Zombies, the Underachievers. Neumos, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9442. 8 p.m. $15 adv./$50 VIP. All ages. TODD HAMM

Har Mar Superstar

FRENCH MONTANA

MONDAY, MARCH 25

EDITOR’S PICK

SATURDAY, MARCH 23

Second Ave, 441-4618. 8 p.m. $20. All ages. TODD HAMM

COURTESY FRENCH MONTANA

French Montana’s stammering “This the intro” in the intro (called “Intro”) of last year’s Mac & Cheese 3 mixtape is a pretty telling moment for the Bronx rapper. “This is mainstream rap,” he could lead in on one of his other songs; or “Here comes a clichéd cocaine reference followed by a gun-cocking sound effect and a horribly misogynistic hook!” At least that way you could get a quick synopsis of a song without having to listen to it. Not to be overly negative or snarky, but in the past few years the guy’s been signed to or flirted with practically every major rap label, which isn’t really surprising but still irks the soul a bit. After years of climbing the mixtape pile, his debut album, Excuse My French, will be released on Bad Boy on May 21—unfortunately too late for this show, but not too late to preface with a snide preview. With Chinx Drugs. Crocodile, 2200

Out next month is Bye Bye 17, the fifth LP from Portland’s Har Mar Superstar, which the BBC said is “almost impossible not to enjoy.” The man behind the Superstar, Sean Tillman, says the record was inspired by lots of Otis Redding and Sam Cooke; while lesser performers might not have the musical chops to pull off such homage, Tillman certainly does, flipping his chameleonic persona from smooth R&B crooner to ’80s synth-pop star in seconds. The record is his first for Julian Casablancas’ Cult Records, and he’ll tour it alongside fellow Cult act the Virgins. With C.O.L.O.R., Dirty Sidewalks,

Shebear. El Corazon, 109 Eastlake Ave. E., 2620482. 7 p.m. $10 adv./$12 DOS. DAVE LAKE

SEATTLE WEEKLY • M ARCH 20 — 26, 2013

Nine50Nine

Krusen and vocalist Ty Willman of Green Apple Quick Step, Nine50Nine combines Southwest country, pop, and blues into something sharp and gritty, and their self-titled debut—engineered by Dave Catching (Eagles of Death Metal, Queens of the Stone Age) and produced by Barret Jones (Nirvana, Foo Fighters)—has the chops to back it up. “Kevin Says,” with its dreamy pedal steel and somber tone, sounds like a Calexico and Soundgarden grunge waltz; later on, guitar-propelled melodies like “Sabotage Me” and the psychedelic gypsy vibe of “Lotion” are fun and catchy. At this fundraiser for Team McCready—a nonprofit “specifically dedicated to supporting the philanthropic goals and celebrating the achievements of Pearl Jam lead guitarist Mike McCready,” who’s battling Crohn’s disease—you’ll be rocking out for a good cause. With Friel’s Comet, Strong Suit. Sunset

2033 6th Avenue (206) 441-9729 jazzalley.com

Jazz Alley is a Supper Club

Kyle Eastwood Arturo Sandoval Multi Grammy-Winning Jazz Band Bassist, Composer & Bandleader playing cool and laid-back jazz

March 20

Trumpeter, Pianist Composer and Protègè of Dizzy Gillespie

March 21 - 24

Un.cSIomC TRlittYlerM LIVE COUN he ed ww w. THURSDAY MARCH 21ST

HIGHWAY 9 9PM - $3 COVER

FRIDAY & SATURDAY MARCH 22ND & 23RD

BUCKAROO BLUES PROM THEME SAT. NIGHT 9PM - $5 COVER SUNDAY MARCH 24TH

Jackson High School Jazz Bands

Curtis Salgado

March 25

March 26 - 27

Blues vocalist and harmonica icon Salgado sings and plays with a hard-earned Award Winning Performances soulful authority

JESSICA LYNNE

9PM - $3 COVER 4PM OPEN MIC / ACOUSTIC JAM WITH BILLY BODACIOUS TUESDAY MARCH 26TH

ROY KAY TRIO 9PM

MONDAY AND WEDNESDAY

Holly Cole

Fatoumata Diawara

Breakout Malian singer/ Intelligent and Sophisticated songwriter mixing elements Jazz-Infused Songstress of jazz, pop and funk along Touring in Support of her New with her ancestral Release “Night” Wassoulou tradition

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JOEY BADA$$ On the heels of two well-received mix-

tapes last year, this blog-famous 18-year-old rapper is set to make his full-length debut in 2013. With Pro Era, Flatbush Zombies, the Underachievers. Neumos. 8 p.m. $15 adv. FOL CHEN With new vocalist Sinosa Loa behind the mike, this Southern California group’s sometimes brooding electronic compositions are washed in lighter, more beat-centered tones on their recent release The False Alarms. With Royal Canoe. Barboza, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9467. 8 p.m. $10. LULLWATER is from the rich musical breeding ground of Athens, Ga., but their modern bro-rock sound doesn’t particularly show it. They recorded their latest album in Seattle at London Bridge Studios, the birthplace of some formative grunge records. With Born of Ghosts, Hunter Stroud and the Freebies. Nectar Lounge, 412 N. 36th St., 632-2020, nectar lounge.com. 8 p.m. $5 adv.

Monday, March 25

TRUTH UNDER ATTACK This local pop-rock quintet

CARLOS VAN HIJFTE

HAYDEN Toronto musician Hayden Desser has toured

with Feist and The National, fitting pairings for his genteel, melancholic indie rock. With Lou Canon, Ghosts I’ve Met. Tractor Tavern, 5231 Ballard Ave. N.W., 789-3599, tractortavern.com. 9 p.m. $12 adv./ $15 DOS. SERVICE ANIMAL On January’s The Gravity Bear Demonstration, this local rock quartet incorporates elements of psychedelic and electronic music. With Conduct Party, Animals in Cars. Sunset Tavern, 5433 Ballard Ave. N.W., 784-4880, sunsettavern.com. 8 p.m. $6. THE SPINNING WHIPS This punk group plays straightforward, bar-ready rock ’n’ roll. With Mystery Ship, Branden Daniels and the Chics. Columbia City Theater, 4918 Rainier Ave. S., 723-0088, columbiacity theater.com. 8 p.m. $8.

Thursday, March 21

ICEAGE Recently the buzz around this Danish hardcore

Friday, March 22

KINGDOM CRUMBS This Seattle collective—Mikey

Nice, Jarv Dee, Jerm D, and Tay Sean—is responsible for one of last year’s best local hip-hop records, Kingdom Crumbs. Their cloud rap–influenced sound isn’t novel (think Main Attrakionz with more lyrical depth or a less-obtuse Shabazz Palaces), but it’s

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always interesting and occasionally brilliant. With THEESatisfaction, Sax G, OCnotes. Neumos, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9442, neumos.com. 8 p.m. $12 adv. HOT JAVA COOL JAZZ A benefit for local high-school jazz programs, this Starbucks-sponsored show features the award-winning bands of Roosevelt, Newport, Mountlake Terrace, Ballard, and Garfield high schools. Paramount Theatre, 911 Pine St., 4675520, stgpresents.org. 7 p.m. $20. All ages. TED LEO’s most recent endeavor is a duo called #BOTH (a reference to the way the project formed, via Twitter) with fellow songwriter Aimee Mann. Leo will perform solo at this show. With Deathfix. Vera Project, 305 Harrison St., 956-8372, theveraproject.org. 7:30 p.m. $13. All ages. NILE These Egyptology-loving death-metal speed freaks will play two sets of songs tonight spanning their two-decade career. With Theories, Funeral Age, Phalgeron, and more. El Corazon, 109 Eastlake Ave. E., 262-0482. 7 p.m. $18 adv./$20 DOS. UNKNOWN MORTAL ORCHESTRA The indie-rock trio’s first album earned them the Taite Music Prize for best New Zealand album of the year. Their second one, released last month, is just as deserving. With Foxygen, Wampire. The Crocodile, 2118 Second Ave., 441-4618. 8 p.m. $15.

Doldrums plays Barboza on Tuesday.

Saturday, March 23

Tuesday, March 26

CHELSEA LIGHT MOVING A contrast to the mellower

DOLDRUMS Emerging from Montreal’s DIY art-pop

solo acoustic material he’s released in the past few years, Thurston Moore’s newest band better approximates the abrasiveness of Sonic Youth. With Grass Widow. Neumos. 8 p.m. $15 adv.

GEORGE CLINTON & PARLIAMENT FUNKADELIC

Even at 71, the funk innovator still tours incessantly to bring P-funk to the masses (including, in 2011, the Gathering of the Juggalos). Showbox at the Market, 1426 First Ave., 628-3151, showboxonline.com. 8 p.m. $25–$30. IAN MCFERON recorded the forthcoming Time Will Take You with members of the Cardinals, Ryan Adams’ backing band. This release show is a precursor to the album’s support tour. Royal Room, 5000 Rainier Ave. S., 906-9920, theroyalroomseattle.com. 7 p.m. all ages, 9 p.m. 21 and over. $12 adv./$15 DOS. ROLE ONE This local five-piece is best appreciated as a live act, where its visceral blend of hip-hop, rock, and reggae works best. With Bob Lovelace, Stingshark Steel. Seamonster Lounge, 2202 N. 45th St., 992-1120, seamonsterlounge.com. 10 p.m. Free.

scene, Airick Woodhead’s work as Doldrums is busy, inscrutable electronic pop with a clear avantgarde bent. It’s similar (conceptually at least) to that of Grimes, Woodhead’s friend and contemporary, but there’s nary an easy entry point like “Genesis” on Lesser Evil, his debut. It’s frantic digital music for a frantic digital age. With Sean Nicholas Savage. Barboza. 8 p.m. $10 adv. MAJOR LAZER is widely considered vapid party music (reinforced by a wild Capitol Hill Block Party set last year), but Diplo’s electro/dub/hip-hop hybrid is a lot smarter and more self-aware than it lets on. Plus, songs like “Get Free,” featuring Amber Coffman of Dirty Projectors, show that the Major can occasionally commit to songcraft as well. With Lunice. Showbox SoDo, 1700 First Ave. S., 652-0444, showboxonline.com. 8 p.m. $25–$30. All ages. PURE X This Austin band deals in languid, dense psych-pop, led by Nate Grace’s murky guitar work. With Swamp Meat. Rendezvous, 2322 Second Ave., 441-5823, jewelboxtheater.com. 10 p.m. $10.

SEATTLE WEEKLY • M ARCH 20 — 26, 2013

band’s suffocating second album You’re Nothing has been supplanted by (overwrought, according to some) blog debate about the group’s association with white-supremacist iconography. The songs are admittedly sharp, but so are those of bands with fewer associations with skinheads. With King Dude, Gag. Barboza, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9951, thebarboza.com. 7 p.m. $12 adv. SERA CAHOONE Sub Pop–signed songwriter Cahoone released Deer Creek Canyon late last year. With Gregory Paul. Triple Door, 216 Union St., 838-4333, thetripledoor.net. 8 p.m. $15 adv./$17 DOS. All ages. VERONICA FALLS released its sophomore album Waiting for Something to Happen last month on Slumberland, and it’s a quintessential record for that label: fuzzy, fractured guitar pop laden with boy/ girl harmonies and nostalgic longing. With Brilliant Colors, Golden Grrrls. Tractor Tavern. 9 p.m. $12.

Thurston Moore’s Chelsea Light Moving plays Neumos on Saturday.

AARON STERN

Wednesday, March 20

released Forever and a Year, its debut EP, last summer. With Ionia, the Nearly Deads, Lakeview Drive. Studio Seven, 110 S. Horton St., 286-1312, studioseven.us. 7 p.m. $8 adv./$10 DOS. All ages. K.FLAY This Illinois rapper (born Kristine Flaherty, and not to be confused with famous New York DJ Kay Slay) gets by on goofy rhymes and extra-banging rock-tinged beats. With Special Guests. Crocodile, 2200 Second Ave, 441-4618. 8 p.m. $12–$15. All ages.

dategirl»By Judy McGuire How to Criticize Your Partner Correctly Dear Dategirl, My boyfriend and I have been together for about four years—I love him, he loves me, blah, blah, blah. However, we have a lot of trouble communicating. For example, he becomes defensive if I say something like, “You shouldn’t wear baggy jeans to a job interview.” He would say that means I’m being unsupportive. How can I help him and voice my opinion in a way that he won’t take as a criticism? —Not Critical, Simply Correct

SEATTLE WEEKLY • MARCH 20 — 26, 2013

I can’t believe someone whose letter includes the phrase “blah, blah, blah” is reporting communication difficulties! Here’s what’s happening: When you tell your boyfriend something along the lines of “You shouldn’t wear a banana hammock to the country club,” he’s not hearing you, his adorable girlfriend offering wise counsel. Instead, he hears his mom nagging him to pull up his pants, clean his room, or quit touching himself “there.” As a result, his reaction is pure knee-jerk rebellion. Of course he shouldn’t wear baggy jeans to a job interview. He knows that, or at least he should. But you shouldn’t be telling him what to do, either. It’s all a matter of phrasing. Instead of scoffing at his outfit and assuring him he’ll never get a job wearing Justin Bieber jeans, look him up and down and say something like, “You know what would look really great—those blue sharkskin pants we found at the Salvation Army and had tailored. They make your ass look incredible and there’s no way you won’t get hired looking like that.”

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Turn a negative into a positive. Though most would never admit it, men love compliments just as much as women. And they don’t hear them nearly as often, so maybe you should up the number you offer. Instead of thinking about all the things he does wrong, focus on all the things he does right and vocalize your appreciation. When you say things out loud, it makes them more real—to both you and the person who’s hearing you. Which doesn’t mean you have to go full-on leg-humping cheeseball; even one “You look/smell/taste/fuck great” can make someone forget how pissed-off they are because you drank the last beer, and may even get you a sweet word in return. It’s easy to fall into crappy relationship patterns, especially when you’ve accumulated a few years’ worth of baggage. I’m a big fan of sporadic couples’ counseling for just this reason. The Large Greek and I have been together for nearly nine years, and I can hold a grudge like it’s got a handle. Sitting in front of a paid professional who doesn’t know that he never does the fucking dishes and I’ve never met a book I’m willing to part with gives us a chance to pull our heads out of our own assholes and gain a little perspective. It’s like having a translator, because when our foxy shrink says “Judy, maybe you don’t need 10 bookshelves in your tiny apartment,” my first reaction isn’t to snap back “When was the last time you cleaned the goddamned litter box?” Instead I think maybe she has a point. See what I mean? Compliments first, and if that doesn’t work, counseling. E

dategirl@seattleweekly.com

Want more? Listen to Judy on The Mike & Judy Show, follow her tweets @HitOrMissJudy, or buy her new book, The Official Book of Sex, Drugs, and Rock ’n’ Roll Lists.

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rom time to time, I meet a budtender who’s so damn good at what he does that I leave the access point happy, excited, and dazzled. I’m not talking about run-of-the-mill “adequate” budtenders, but the kind who actually listen when patients talk and try to match them with the cannabis medicines that will help the most. I met one of these last weekend: Roland Brigham from North Seattle Med Co in Greenwood. Effectively asking a patient his or her medicine preferences, and in so doing establishing a personal rapport, is an art not found in all dispensaries. In fact, a lot of the personnel at Seattle-area access points could really use some customer-service training. But Roland gets it. It’s no wonder that when he recently took a little time off to visit family in Texas, North Seattle Med Co was inundated by variations of the questions “Where’s Roland? And when will he be back?” The shop has a not-huge, but still impressive, selection of about 18 strains of cannabis flowers. With Roland’s help, I selected Hawaiian Kush, a 70 percent sativa; Larry OG, a 65 percent indica; and Grand Raskal OG, another 65 percent indica. All were $10 a gram, $35 an eighth-ounce. Hawaiian Kush smells a little like a pine forest—that is, if a skunk had walked through the day before. It is an energetic smoke, true to its sativa dominance, at least for the first few tokes. But be advised that if you continue

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to smoke it, the 30-percent-indica portion of its genetic heritage will definitely manifest itself in the form of a heavier body stone. Larry OG (OG Kush x San Fernando Valley OG) is a staff favorite at North Seattle Med Co, and after toking it I can understand why. This is a profoundly comforting smoke, and you don’t have to mess around and wait once you light it up; pain relief is almost immediate, within two or three tokes. I did learn that Larry OG’s pleasantly piney taste, while reducing stress and anxiety very effectively, can also lead to sleepiness. You may find yourself nodding out in the middle of the afternoon if you toke very much of this 20-percent-THC strain. Then there’s Grand Raskal OG, which comes in at 17 percent THC, and, crucially, 4 percent CBD (cannabidiol). CBD has shown very promising results as an anti-inflammatory and pain reliever, possibly being even more effective at these functions than its fellow cannabinoid THC. Strains with elevated levels of CBD typically don’t have much of a high, since CBD works to block the psychoactive effects of THC, but Grand Raskal has enough THC to get you high anyway, so you have the best of both worlds. (If you want a less incapacitating CBD strain, go with the sativa-dominant Harlequin, which has a whopping 11 percent CBD along with its 11 percent THC). E

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