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Divorced dads, domestic violence, and the systemic bias against men in King county family court.

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inside» January 18-24, 2012 VOLUME 37 | NUMBER 3 » SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM

»20

»8

up front 6

NEWS

FEATURE

THE DAILY WEEKLY | A busted bookie, a misunderstood refugee, and the Gates Foundation’s roundabout method for evaulating teachers.

BY NINA SHAPIRO | Family court

is a court like no other, where lives can be changed in 20-minute hearings. Whereas once the court was biased against women, it’s now gone the other way. The losers: dads, who are easy targets for flimsy claims of domestic violence.

17 THE WEEKLY WIRE Silent film, cross-gender dance, and Thomas Frank asks what’s the matter with Port Townsend?

18 ARTS 18 18 20 20

| | | |

STAGE | Attila: opera for men. EAR SUPPLY | Classical remixing. VISUAL ARTS | SAM’s soul refuge. THE FUSSY EYE | A bust in a bag.

21 FILM

THIS WEEK’S ATTRACTIONS

9/11 kitsch, anarchy in the Ukraine, and the Wordiest Title of the Month.

»cover credits

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27 FOOD

32 MUSIC

32 | WESTERN HAUNTS | Dream-pop

in a punk space. 35 | REVERB | Twitter advice from Duff; Ben Fisher never has; America’s roastmaster answers our Questionnaire; and Fat Mike recalls a pareer in cunk. 38 | THE SHORT LIST | Youth Lagoon, Gold Wolf Galaxy, Pangea, and much more.

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Good Odds How a bookie made bank by betting with King County.

Eric DEvEricks

bookie lives and dies by the odds, and it looks like Richard “Treebark” Poeton has beaten them. An undercover investigator from the state Gambling Commission spent 11 months and at least $125,000 making bets with Poeton, whose Seattle bookmaking operation is estimated to have churned more than $1 million in wagers. But by pleading guilty to professional gambling charges last week, Treebark is set to walk away with a mere $2,500 fine and no jail time. King County prosecutors say the 66-yearold Bellevue resident operated the sports book from 2001 until he was busted with a co-defendant in October 2008 for taking illegal wagers on college and pro games. papers, the agent did not disclose how much According to an FBI analysis of documents she won or lost while making the case against seized at Poeton’s home, his operation Poeton and Mills, who has pleaded not guilty recorded 2,600 bets totaling more than $1.1 and is awaiting trial. rick anderson million in seven years. Among them were the $116,000 in sports wagers made by Gambling Commission special agent Diane Milner, along with $8,340 she paid in vigorish—the 10 percent charged Gai Bol Thong, a South Sudanese refugee by a bookie on losing bets, more frequently living in Seattle, recently raised $45,000 to referred to in shorthand as “the vig.” Milner send to his war-torn homeland. The New York says she made additional wagers as well, but Times reported last week that the money may did not list the amounts in her affidavit of have been used to fund genocide, and quoted probable cause. Thong as saying his tribesmen plan to “kill Though the book was closed down in everybody” in a rival clan. But in an interview 2008, Poeton and co-defendant David Warwith Seattle Weekly, Thong tried to clarify his ren Mills were not charged until last fall. statements, and claimed his goal is peace. Milner indicates in a statement that the comThe Times’ Jeffrey Gettleman painted a mission was attempting to burrow further bleak picture of the world’s newest country into the bookie busiin his report, describness, and that at one ing a massacre in the point she set herself village of Pibor, near a up as a bookmaker of United Nations comprint is great. sorts. With Poeton’s pound. The paper’s But if you want to see help and advice, she East Africa bureau video of the snowpocalypse, opened “a store” chief witnessed a you’ll have to check it out on that had five “simutrail of corpses that The DAily Weekly. lated” bettors, a ruse “stretches for miles SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM/DAILYWEEKLY that helped expand into the bush,” includthe investigation ing, “a whole famand identify other ily—man, woman, two bookmakers for possible future prosecuchildren—all facedown in the swamp grass, tion. Poeton came to her attention through executed together.” another bookie, whom the agent saw workThe cause of the violence is said to be longing a phone and scribbling down names standing tensions between two ethnic groups, and numbers one day at Parkers Casino in the Nuer and the Murle. Both the South Shoreline. Sudanese government and UN peacekeepVisiting Parkers and the Drift On Inn miniers have failed to intervene in the clashes, casino over a two-year period, Milner gained and “heavily armed militias the size of small the bookie’s trust, made her first bet with him armies are now marching on villages and in 2007, and ended up a winner. To settle the towns with impunity, sometimes with bladebt, he agreed to introduce her to a another tantly genocidal intent.” bookie, who agreed to match her up with a A public statement issued by the Nuer tribe big-time bookie, Poeton, for a $100 fee. threatened to “wipe out the entire Murle Each month thereafter she bet more than tribe on the face of the earth.” A co-author of $5,000 with Poeton, sometimes wagering that statement is Thong, a 40-year-old native as much as $23,000. But though we know of South Sudan who came to Seattle in 1995 Poeton made money, we have no way of simiafter spending several years in refugee camps larly judging Milner’s track record. In court in Kenya and Ethiopia.

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The Gates Foundation just came out with its latest advice on how to improve schools. As the foundation sees it, districts don’t have a good sense of who their good and bad teachers are, and need better evaluations. But is this really the problem? Ever since it abandoned its former educational preoccupation—small schools—the Gates Foundation has hit upon stellar teach-

ing as the key to transforming the nation’s schools. It’s not exactly a new idea, but it’s one worth rediscovering. Stanford economist Eric Hanushek has put into numerical terms a concept that most people know with their gut. A New Yorker story on the matter a few years ago summarized his findings: “Students of a very bad teacher will learn, on average, half a year’s worth of material in one school year. The students in the class of a very good teacher will learn a year and a half’s worth of material.” So the question some ask is: Which teachers are which? In its recent pronouncement, the Gates Foundation relies upon new results from a long-term study it has been funding that uses data from 3,000 classrooms around the country. The study maintains that the traditional means of evaluation—to observe a teacher in a classroom once every few years— is inadequate. “In our study, the same teacher was often rated differently depending on who did the observation and which lesson was being observed,” says a report on the latest findings. In fact, even if you did many different observations, that wouldn’t be good enough, the report maintains. When results of different observations were averaged, they still didn’t track with student gains on test scores. So the report suggests an elaborate evaluation system using not only frequent observations, but student test results and feedback from students themselves. We have another idea: Walk into any school and talk to the parents. Everybody knows whom they want their kids to get—and whom they’re desperate to avoid. Who’s the really lively Spanish teacher who mixes culture and language and makes learning fun, and who’s the deadly dull math teacher who’s put students to sleep for years. There really is no mystery about who the good and bad teachers are at any given school—and if principals don’t already know this, then they’re the ones who need better evaluation. (Then again, you could ask parents about them too.) The real question is what to do with that information. Randi Weingarten, president of the American Federation of Teachers, chimed in that there should be less attention on evaluation and more on ways to help students improve. To be fair, the Gates Foundation is working on this too. Firing bad teachers is another idea, one that takes political will and negotiation with unions. (Our state legislature has moved somewhat in this direction with the passage of SB 6696 last year.) The good news is that there are probably fewer bad teachers to fire than many might think. The Gates report found that only a small minority of teachers could be judged “harmful.” And for all the hand-wringing over Seattle schools, a survey released last week by the district found that an overwhelming 81 percent gave their local teachers a favorable rating. NINA SHAPIRO E news@seattleweekly.com

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According to the Times, Thong raised $45,000 to finance a Nuer militia known as the White Army. “We kill everybody,” he coldly vowed. “We are tired of them [the Murle.]” Reached by phone, though, Thong sought to clarify those genocidal-sounding remarks. He says the Nuer warriors are not a militia, but bands of child soldiers bent on avenging previous Murle atrocities. “Last year they killed 640 people at one time, in one night in two villages,” Thong says of the Murle. “They kill the young people, the adults, they take the cattle and burn down the village at night and run away. The government of South Sudan [has] never done nothing, they never provide security, the United Nations never do nothing. “That’s the reason they take revenge,” Thong continues. “They go to Murle village and attack it, they kill some people, not a lot of people. They go to fight Murle warriors, not to kill the children or the old ladies.” Thong is a leader of the group Nuer Youth in North America and a prominent member of Seattle’s sizable South Sudanese community. He says that the tribal feuds that have plunged his native country into chaos are virtually nonexistent in his adopted city, and members of the Nuer, Murle, Dinka, and other tribes “live here peacefully.” As for the $45,000, he says it took more than a year to cobble together from donors across the United States and Canada. The funds, he says, were not gathered to pay for war, but because the South Sudan government is still in its infancy (the country was officially recognized in July) and cannot provide basic services “if we have a national incident or emergency.” Thong blames the horrific violence described in the Times on the weak government, and tries to rationalize the barbarities by claiming his clansmen in Africa have no choice but to defend themselves. “If we say ‘They kill everybody,’ it doesn’t mean children,” Thong says. “What we meant when we said ‘We’ll kill everybody’ is ‘We’ll protect our territory.’ ” He adds that he recently conferred with Murle leaders in Seattle and discussed ways to halt the bloodshed. “We’re working to do something else so we can live peacefully,” Thong says. “Fighting doesn’t make any sense.” KEEGAN HAMILTON

Torn Apart

im’s first indication that his life was about to be turned upside

from work and was approached

Scott Bakal

Seattle weekly • Janu ary 18– 24, 2 012

down came the night he got home

by an off-duty sheriff’s deputy.

Divorced dads, domestic violence, and the systemic bias against men in King County family court. By Nina Shapiro

“Are you Jim?” the deputy asked. “I am,” he replied. The deputy then informed him that not only was he no longer welcome inside his own house, he wasn’t allowed even to collect his things. The officer handed him a suitcase his wife had packed and a $3,000 check—also from his wife, who earned far more than he did. “What are the grounds?” Jim asked. “It’s all in there,” the deputy said, thrusting a sheaf of papers into his hand. The papers informed him his wife was filing for divorce. Worse, she had requested, and been granted, a temporary protection order based on allegations of domestic violence. The order—issued at a hearing that took place without Jim—took effect immediately. It required him to

vacate his house and refrain from “any contact whatsoever” with either his wife or his 3-year-old son. In it, his wife wrote that she felt like she had to “walk on eggshells” around Jim due to his unpredictable temper. He would scream to such an extent that “veins in his neck were bulging” and “spittle from his lips was hitting me in the face.” She also described him yelling at their dogs, roughly handling their cat, and driving aggressively and recklessly. But there’s one thing she never claimed— that Jim had ever hit her or their son. Nor did she accuse Jim of threatening either of them. Jim, an insurance agent periodically unemployed, had at times performed more child-care duties than his wife, according to a court-assigned social worker hired to assess each spouse’s parenting skills. Observing interactions between Jim and his son, and talking to friends, relatives, and neighbors, she called the bond between them “relatively strong, happy, interactive, comfortable, playful, and full of physical play and affection.” Yet it would still take 15 months for Jim to be allowed to have normal visits with his son. Had he been charged with domestic violence in criminal court, where guilt must be proved beyond a reasonable doubt and the standards of due process are high, this might not have happened. But Jim’s fate was decided in a very different venue: family court. It’s a court like no other—a hugely busy and rancorous place where the most personal aspects of people’s lives are not only on display, but judged and reshaped in proceedings that often last no longer than 20 minutes. Appointed commissioners, rather than elected judges, make many of the most crucial decisions. And the standard of evidence (known as “preponderance of the evidence”) is the lowest allowed by law. For years, dads’-rights groups have claimed that family court overwhelmingly favors women, particularly when it comes to custody. In former times, when dads generally did far less hands-on child-rearing than moms, those claims tended to be viewed as the ranting of bitter misogynists. But parenting roles have changed. And the “judicial system,” says veteran family-law attorney Deborah Bianco, “is way behind the culture.” Bianco is one of a number of mainstream family-law attorneys—representing both women and men, and often female themselves—who now say they too see a bias against men. Rhea Rolfe, an attorney who once taught a “women and the law” class at the University of Washington, recalls sitting with a male client in a commissioner’s courtroom one day. There were maybe seven or eight cases heard. “She ruled against every single man,” Rolfe recalls, “and two of them were unopposed.” “In any other arena, the evidence gets you the ruling,” observes attorney Maya Trujillo Ringe. “But in this particular arena, the dad has a much bigger uphill battle.” So much so, she says, that she and other attorneys often joke that “if you put a skirt on the dad, same facts,” he’d win primary custody. “You can overcome the bias,” Ringe adds, “but it takes a lot of work and a lot of resources.” Attorney Jennifer Forquer agrees, noting that “fathers will routinely be sent to parenting classes” by commissioners. “It doesn’t matter if they took paternity leave, if they changed diapers. If a mother makes an

allegation that a father’s parenting is deficient, he ends up going.” If a dad wants to make such an allegation about a mom, she says, “you have to be careful how you present that.” Commissioners are not inclined to believe it, she says. By far, though, the most damaging allegation—the one that can change everything in an instant—is domestic violence. That’s why, Rolfe says, “there are attorneys who will advise a client to accuse the other party of domestic violence in order to gain an advantage.” The accusations may not constitute what the general public thinks of as domestic violence. “Frequently, it’s not a big thing that you did, but the woman claims to be afraid,” says Rolfe. Yet commissioners—and what Bianco calls a “little cottage industry” of professionals used by the court to assess and treat domestic violence—tend to give those allegations credibility and see a man’s denials as further proof of his guilt—the ultimate catch-22. Rolfe calls herself “a very strong feminist.” She believes domestic violence and male denial are big problems. Yet considering the way women can “use the system,” she says, “It absolutely infuriates me.”

“

» Continued on page 10

“What’s changed is that it’s no longer gender bias against women—now it’s against men.”

Seattle we ekly • Jan u ary 18– 24, 2012

have always seen gender bias,” says Bianco, who has been practicing law for more than 20 years. “What’s changed is that it’s no longer gender bias against women—now it’s against men.” Back in the day, she says, “the court would say to a 55-year-old homemaker who had never worked: ‘You better go out and get a job.’ You might have a husband earning, at that time, $50,000 or $70,000 and a wife who could earn $12,000. I remember saying to women: ‘If you can only work at Walmart, you might have to change your lifestyle.’ ” Changing attitudes, and court rulings, led to the notion that you can’t leave one party in poverty after a divorce and another in wealth. Similarly, she says the court’s view of domestic violence used to be slanted against women. “I had to have clients testify they had done nothing to provoke their husbands. If they had been unfaithful, that was viewed as justification.” Yet as the courts started to shift toward a woman’s point of view, men started to ask questions about an arena in which they had traditionally been marginalized: custody. A slew of dads’-rights groups, with names like Fathers for Equal Rights and Dads America, gained steam in the ’80s and ’90s. Hollywood offered its glossed-over version of the issue with films like Kramer vs. Kramer and Mrs. Doubtfire. And some lawmakers took up the cause as well. In Washington, the legislature passed a bill in 2007 that shifted

the balance ever so slightly. It directed courts to stop taking into account which parent had in the past taken greater childrearing responsibility—a factor that typically works in the mom’s favor. “But bias still exists,” says Carol Bailey, a family-law attorney who also works as a “guardian ad litem,” retained by courts to represent the best interests of children. “If you have a capable, interested father, it’s very difficult for him to get meaningful access [to his children] if he wasn’t the primary parent.” Of all the custody arrangements recorded by Washington courts between July 2009 and July 2010, nearly two-thirds had children spending more time with their mother than their father. To fully understand why— and how domestic-violence accusations work so effectively against dads—you have to understand how the system works. Commissioners preside over hearings on what is called the family-law “motions calendar.” Technically, the decisions reached—on custody, child support, maintenance (what used to be called alimony), and who gets the house—are temporary. Either a trial before a regular Superior Court judge or a settlement will yield the final decisions. But, concedes James Doerty, assistant presiding judge for King County Superior Court, “Once the tank is moving in a certain direction, it’s very hard to turn it.” And even if it does turn, it takes a long time. The wait for a trial currently averages 14 months. What’s more, the vast majority of cases never make it that far—one lawyer estimates that “95 percent” settle beforehand—meaning that the commissioners’ rulings are often first and final. This wouldn’t be a problem if hearings in family court were comprehensive. But they’re not. In a single morning, a commissioner might handle as many as 14 hearings—as did Les Ponomarchuk, the lead family-law commissioner, one day last month. Consequently, King County imposes strict rules to keep these hearings short. Each side is only allotted five minutes to speak. There are no witnesses, beyond the parties themselves, and no allowed cross-examination. There are even limits on what kind of documents a party can submit before a trial to bolster their case. At a recent hearing, Commissioner Meg Sassaman fined an attorney two hours of his opposing counsel’s time, a net loss that amounted to $500, for writing too much in defense of his client. In other words, the most precious relationships in people’s lives—relationships that impact not only the adults standing

Seattle weekly • Janu ary 18– 24, 2 012

Torn Apart » from pAge 9

before a commissioner but the unseen children used to being around both parents every day—are reconstituted according to whatever spin embittered spouses can put forward in the time it takes to walk around the block. Some court systems treat family court more like a regular court. One lawyer who used to practice in Maryland says commissioners there held half-day trials, complete with cross-examinations. But King County Superior Court, which handles nearly 8,000 divorce cases a year and more than 17,000 requests for protection orders, has no such luxury, says Doerty. “They must be exceptionally well-funded to be able to do that.” Ponomarchuk says he recognizes that commissioners have access to limited information. “It makes it an extremely difficult situation to decide to what extent there should be limitations [on visits with children].” “It’s horrible,” says Doerty, who spent five years as a commissioner before becoming a judge. Both men say commissioners do the best they can under the circumstances. “I don’t go ‘If I sniff abuse, it’s good enough for me,’ ” Ponomarchuk says. He adds that he has turned down protection-order requests. But a number of family-law insiders say that other commissioners are not as discriminating. Some note that of the five family-law commissioners in King County—three in Seattle, two in Kent—all but Ponomarchuk are women. A few have a reputation for being particularly harsh with men. Sassaman, for instance, prompted this anonymous comment on a website called RateTheCourts.com: “I have been a family law paralegal in King County for 24 years. I have never seen anyone as obviously biased and hateful towards men as this woman.” (Sassaman did not return a request for comment.) Statistically, there’s no question that commissioners tend to side with women in domestic-violence cases. In 2010, of the roughly 1,900 protection-order petitions ruled on after a hearing, commissioners granted 80 percent. Whatever bias may exist, there’s another reason for the high percentage of granted orders, explains Bianco, who sometimes serves as a “pro-tem” or substitute commissioner. “No commissioner wants to deny an order of protection, and then have [the person who claimed abuse] injured or killed. You want to be very, very cautious. And if you make a mistake on the side of protecting somebody, what’s the harm?”

ne November day in 2008, an engineer we’ll call Richard left town on a business trip. When he returned in the late afternoon five days later, neither his wife nor 4-year-old son were home. His wife had left him a voice mail saying she was out running errands, but when they weren’t back by 11 p.m., he started calling hospitals. At midnight, he called 911 and was advised to file a missing-persons report, which he did. The next day, police found his wife and son staying at a hotel, but she had no interest in coming home. The marriage had been rocky for years.

She hired a lawyer named Jan Dyer, the same lawyer who a couple of months later would file divorce proceedings on behalf of Jim’s wife. Known as an aggressive—she says “zealous”—advocate, Dyer has on her website a picture of an Annie Oakley look-alike holding a gun pointed straight at the camera. “I get up in the morning, knowing I’m either being shot at, or I’m shooting,” she tells Seattle Weekly. Dyer calls domestic violence her “specialty,” though she says many of her clients don’t walk in the door thinking they’ve been victimized. “I try to educate,” she says. Domestic violence sometimes “isn’t the kind of horrific violence we all think about. It might be a shove or a head-butt.” Or, she says, “when they’re so close to you, you can see spit.” “You have to dig,” she continues. “Most people don’t want to admit that domestic violence has ever happened to them. When I identify blocking a doorway as domestic violence, they’re shocked.” With Dyer in her corner, Richard’s wife filed not only for a divorce but a protection order. “I feel like I have been a prisoner in my home for longer than I can really remember,” she wrote in her petition. Richard had shoved her during one argument, his wife charged, and grabbed her arm so tightly during another that it left bruises. She alleged he also assailed her with “constant criticism”—remarks like “Well, you’re gaining weight and it’s getting embarrassing”—and insisted that chores be done in a certain way. He even controlled the thermostat, she said. Richard, in his response filed with the court, declared himself “shocked” by her allegations. He denied shoving his wife, and said that the arm grab, which happened in the kitchen, was really an attempt to block her from throwing a fork in his direction. A knife had already once come precariously close as she threw it past him and into the sink, according to the document. Richard also proffered a very different account of their marital life, describing her supposed irritability, depression, and tendency to follow him around “trying to bait” him into an argument. He also portrayed himself as their son’s primary caretaker. As a co-worker testified in a declaration, Richard arranged his schedule so he could pick up his son from preschool in the late afternoon. On Fridays, when there was no preschool, he didn’t work at all. (His wife countered that she was the main caretaker, in part because he traveled for work regularly.) Even given such contradictory accounts, Commissioner Lori Kay Smith granted a temporary protection order. Still, she allowed Richard to see his son, on alternative weekends and one weeknight, unsupervised. In that sense, he had something to be grateful for, as Jim could well tell him. For the first three months of Jim’s supervised visits, he couldn’t even take his son back to his apartment. He was obliged to stay at the Madison Valley offices of the Indaba Center, the social-service organization that provides supervision services—at a cost to him of $50 an hour. Once, after he was allowed to take his son on outings, toting the supervisor along, he tried to squeeze in a trip to the aquarium as well as a visit with relatives who were in town. Jim didn’t have time to feed the boy

too, as his wife had requested, and that oversight, as well as the rushing, counted as a mark against him in the later parenting evaluation done for the court.

iven their extremely rushed proceedings, family-law commissioners often punt to such “expert” evaluations to make recommendations that can be heard in later hearings. Smith did that in Richard’s case, ordering a “risk assessment” from a counselor who specializes in domestic violence. Richard says he welcomed the assessment. “OK, great,” he says he thought. “Now I’m going to go to somebody whose job it is to ferret out the truth.” He says he didn’t even mind paying the $1,000-plus fee. But when counselor Doug Bartholomew came out with his report a month later, Richard was even further in the hole. The counselor did say that he couldn’t determine whether Richard had assaulted his wife. Yet Bartholomew still recommended that Richard attend a domestic-violence treatment program, as well as a class called “DV Dads.” Why? For one thing, he held out the possibility that Richard was dangerous. He attached extreme importance to the engineer’s attempt to have the counselor look at a mental-health self-evaluation his wife had done. “Since submitting someone’s private records against their will is so inherently antisocial, it raises the question of whether or not he’s capable of similar ‘stop at nothing’ behavior,” Bartholomew wrote. Richard’s personality and background were also suspect, according to Bartholomew. For one thing, he was successful. “The downside

of success, and he’s been very successful, is that we tend not to learn compassion, empathy, or insight.” Richard, he wrote, “has never experienced tragedy.” Richard suffered from a “Puer complex,” the condition of being an “eternal boy,” in Bartholomew’s estimation. The engineer was unable to describe his son in an “I-Thou manner,” an apparent reference to philosopher Martin Buber’s description of seeing other people as possessing distinct wants and needs. This seemed to account for Bartholomew’s finding that Richard posed “some risk of further psychological abuse.” As the counselor put it a year and a half later at trial, “the most conspicuous feature” of his evaluation was Richard’s “indifference” to his wife’s “feelings and needs.” “It was a huge blow,” Richard says. “It just didn’t make sense in my head.” Denial very well may be a reaction many

batterers have. But other men seem genuinely confounded and disturbed by the label thrust upon them. “There’s really nothing worse than being told you’re an abuser,” says a dad we’ll call Daniel, who was for a time subject to a protection order. Then a stay-at-home parent, the order stopped him from seeing his wife, not his child. But he faced a daunting legal fight for custody, one that eventually put him $240,000 in debt, and could only be attempted because a law firm took pity on him and allowed him to pay off the money over time. Eventually, Daniel did win custody after a trial that cleared him of domestic-violence allegations. But he says the ordeal was emotionally scarring. “I lost 55 pounds. I ate once a day—for two years. I used to go into a closet in my house and just cry and cry.” He says he felt like he couldn’t seek counseling or let

“I lost 55 pounds. I ate once a day—for two years. I used to go into a closet in my house and just cry and cry.”

anybody see his distress for fear that it might be held against him in court. “If you’re a girl [and break down emotionally], the court kind of wraps its arms around you. But a guy has to be stable, strong, making a living.” Or at least that’s what he says he was told by his first attorney. Meeting at his lawyer’s office one day, he’s practically sweating as he talks hesitantly about his case. He’s still terrified that he might say or do something that would antagonize his ex (for that reason, both he and the other dads in this story asked that their identities not be revealed), and thus bring on new legal wrangling that could cost him his child. ”I’ve never quite gotten back to where I was,” he says. As for Richard, he decided to live with Bartholomew’s assessment and the protection orders that were subsequently renewed time after time. He says his attorney told him “Suck it up, go through the [domestic-violence treatment] program, see what happens.” It didn’t go well. Enrolled in a grouptherapy program at the agency now known as Wellspring Family Services, he says, “every single time you show up, you have to say what your most abusive behavior was during the past week.” “I’d have to make stuff up,” he says. But that wasn’t good enough. According to a form filled out by the agency, it judged him “out of compliance” for his denials of abuse, and dismissed him from the program. Mark Adams, one of Wellspring’s facilitators, says the weekly “check-ins” aren’t done so much any more because other men in the

» Continued on page 12

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Torn Apart » from pAge 11 program also have said they’ve made stuff up. But he says this weekly confessional, when used, is intended to get people thinking about even the subtlest ways they behave badly. Adams adds that he finds it “unrealistic” to expect that the people sent to his program—already judged to be domesticviolence offenders—could “go through an entire week without saying or doing something that would come across as disrespectful.” And if people can’t identify those behaviors, if they really don’t see themselves as abusers, then, he says, they’re not a good fit for the program. “They have perhaps more of a legal issue,” he says. In other words, they need to get the “abuser” label lifted by going back to court—the very institution that, lacking adequate time and resources, looks to outside experts like him for guidance.

yer, the “zealous” attorney, noted Richard’s dismissal from the program in her opening statement during the trial in the summer of 2010, as she did Bartholomew’s “finding of domestic violence.” (Though trials are extremely rare, all three men profiled in this article— Jim, Richard, and Daniel—were chosen in part because they managed to weather the wait, inconvenience, and expense of a later court date.) At stake was not only the protection order still in effect, but the custody ruling, lopsided in favor of the mom, that commissioners had accordingly granted and that had been in effect almost two years. It was, in some ways, a highly unusual proceeding. Judge Michael Fox admonished Dyer on the record, something he said he rarely did. The judge said he felt compelled to do so because the attorney who said she held angry men accountable seemed herself to have an anger problem. Fox characterized Dyer’s cross-examination of Richard as being “over the top”—characterized by “sarcasm, interrupting,” and “a tone of voice that is hostile in the extreme.” Dyer, saying she couldn’t understand the judge’s reaction and describing herself as pained by it, asked the judge to recuse himself. He refused. She then asked to withdraw as her client’s counsel, a motion Fox also turned down. “I just got an automatic right to appeal the whole case,” she told her client—but, in spite of that attempt at positive spin, proceeded to sob through the next witness’ testimony. Such dramatics aside, much of the trial hinged on a fundamental question: How do

you define domestic violence? Dyer called Bartholomew to the stand. After noting that he had worked in the field of domestic violence since 1982, providing both risk assessments and treatment, the counselor explained that he didn’t have much use for the definition of domestic violence provided by state law. The law, Bartholomew said, “is an extremely limiting definition in that basically you have to rape, assault, or kidnap someone, or stalk them. And that doesn’t allow for addressing the bulk of domestic violence.” Instead, he said he had used a “judges’ manual” on the subject that is put out by the state Administrative Office of the Courts. That definition cites “a pattern of assault and coercive behaviors, including physical assaults, psychological attacks, and economic coercion.” Bartholomew is not alone in using an expansive concept of domestic violence, though there seems to be no one precise definition that is generally understood. Jim’s risk assessment, by a now-retired therapist named Warland Wight, began by listing three definitions: the state law, that of the judges’ manual, and a similar definition that takes into account both physical incidents and “control tactics.” “What the general public needs to understand is that domestic violence is more than just physical assault,” says Commissioner Ponomarchuk. “It has to do with control . . . When you control the keys to the car and check [your wife’s] cell phone to see if she’s having an affair, that’s control.” Judge Doerty offers other non-physical examples: “when you never, ever let your spouse have any money, or the wife is not allowed to go grocery shopping on her own.” He allows, however, that deciding whether domestic violence has occurred can be “challenging.” Even state law, considered so restrictive to Bartholomew, is ambiguous because it counts the “infliction of fear” as domestic violence, the judge explains. “It’s very, very subjective. How is it possible to say ‘No, you’re not really afraid’?” Judge Fox, however, evidently felt able to do so—or at least to say that the evidence did not point to a “reasonable” fear—after hearing testimony from Bartholomew, Richard, his wife, various acquaintances, and a parenting evaluator. The engineer, opined the judge, “may have been the dominant partner in this marriage, he may lack a certain degree of introspection, he may be somewhat rigid, and he may not be as empathetic as we would all like, but there is no evidence that he has committed

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Torn Apart » from pAge 12

Like so many dads, his role has been cast in doubt by a domestic-violence allegation. (His wife claimed he bumped her with his chest and pinned her down on the bed during an argument.) At an earlier hearing, the commissioner had consigned him to supervised visits, but allowed his mother to act as the supervisor. This wasn’t too practical, since the mom lived on an island near Tacoma and he lived in Seattle. So he left his job and moved to Tacoma. Now he and his wife are back in court, each with complaints. He charges that his wife is not allowing him the full 24 hours with his daughter the court granted him once a week. The mom, who does have the benefit of counsel, insinuates that there must be something wrong with the visits since the toddler is taking a long time to “recover” afterward, as evidenced by too-long napping.

Jeske not only gives the dad’s complaint no credence, she holds it against him. “It sounds suspiciously close to using the child as a control mechanism, which is a domesticviolence [behavior],” Jeske says. In contrast, she takes the mom’s complaint so seriously that she takes away one of the dad’s monthly visits until a parenting evaluator can look into the prolonged-napping situation. Not only that, she orders the out-of-work and unrepresented dad to pay $1,000 for his wife’s attorney. The dad sighs and looks down. “It doesn’t always go the way you think it might,” the commissioner remarks, drawing the hearing to a close. “I’m trying to craft equity.” She doesn’t explain how. E nshapiro@seattleweekly.com

Seattle we ekly • Jan u ary 18– 24, 2012

domestic violence as defined by state law.” Going even farther, the judge completely reversed the status quo, awarding Richard primary custody and his wife alternate weekend visits. Explaining his decision, Fox said he had great regard for the “careful evidence-based analysis” of the parenting evaluator, which had taken more than a year. In that report, she had observed that of the two parents, Richard “appears to have a somewhat stronger, more positive, and more stable relationship” with their son. The mom “acknowledged a history of depression” and “feeling overwhelmed” that the social worker determined had impacted her relationship with the boy. In contrast, the judge said he gave “no credence to the Bartholomew report.” The assessment was rife with “bias,” Fox said. The counselor had believed nothing Richard said and everything his wife said. Bartholomew’s logic was also “weak,” according to the judge. Fox said he wasn’t buying the counselor’s notion that Richard’s attempt to submit his wife’s self-assessment was such a heinous act that it called into question the engineer’s character. The counselor hadn’t even proofread the report, the judge noted. (At trial, it had come out that Bartholomew’s dictation software had sometimes changed pronouns, and Richard’s attorney observed that some of the controlling behavior Richard had ascribed to his wife seemed to appear in the report as things “he” had allegedly done.) “In my 22 years on the bench, I have never reviewed an expert report such as this,” Fox declared. Richard subsequently filed a complaint about Bartholomew with the Department of Health, the ninth lodged against the counselor. The DOH did not sustain eight of the complaints, but is currently investigating Richard’s. In an interview and follow-up e-mail, Bartholomew says that dads like Richard aren’t the only ones being targeted, but that he too is a victim, calling his persecutors a “homegrown hate group of men . . . whose stated intention is to destroy the [domesticviolence] intervention system.” Turning to Richard’s case, Bartholomew claims his report was misconstrued: “First of all, I said the guy didn’t do any domestic violence.” No matter that those words aren’t in his report, that he referred to further psychological “abuse,” and that the judge and the attorneys understood the exact opposite—the counselor points to his line saying that he couldn’t determine whether Richard had assaulted his wife. Although at trial Bartholomew argued that assault is not a necessary component of domestic violence, he now says that it is. Why then did he recommend that Richard undergo domestic-violence treatment? “A lot of people really benefit from that—especially people who haven’t stepped over the line,” Bartholomew says. “You learn about how to handle relationships.” “The attorneys on both sides were extremely difficult,” he adds by way of explaining how his report was construed as a domestic-violence finding. “Each of them took it and ran with it.”

At least Richard’s wife’s attorney—not Dyer, but a new lawyer—is still attempting to run with it, and has filed an appeal on behalf of her client. Some of the lawyer’s arguments: The judge had improperly discounted an “expert” opinion that the father had engaged in domestic violence and “failed to complete” his recommended treatment. The appeal is pending. Meanwhile, the churn of family court goes on. One recent day, a dark-haired 31-year-old man, the father of a 17-monthold girl, presents himself before Commissioner Jacqueline Jeske. An unemployed construction manager, he says he has already maxed out on lawyer’s bills. “The only thing I ask is to recognize the importance of a father in a girl’s life,” he tells the commissioner.

By William Shakespeare | Directed by David Quicksall

who am I without my sword?

January 4–29

Center House Theatre, Seattle Center

Now thru Jan. 29 Tickets: 206-733-8222 www.seattleshakespeare.org

“STARTLINGLY IMAGINATIVE.”

Seattle weekly • Janu ary 18– 24, 2 012

—The New York Times

February 2-4 8 PM

Meany Hall on the UW Campus

206-543-4880 uwworldseries.org

the»weekly»wire crossed romance, set in czarist Russia, in which a low-born officer (John Barrymore) falls in love with a princess far above his station. Unlike the handsome hero of The Artist (played by Jean Dujardin), matinee idol Barrymore actually jumped the sound barrier quite nicely—he had a stage-trained baritone voice. (Other actors referenced in The Artist, like Rudolph Valentino, Douglas Fairbanks, and John Gilbert, didn’t fare so well.) And Tempest is topical in other regards, too: As the imperial regime gives way to the Bolsheviks— those same collectivist class warriors the Republicans love to warn against!—our hero is given a second chance to win his now-disgraced paramour. Other titles in the series get better: Street Angel is followed by The Last Command and Wings. (Mondays through Feb. 13.) The Paramount, 911 Pine St., 784-4849, stgpresents.org. $34 (series). 7 p.m. BRIAN MILLER

thurs/1/19

THURS: BOOKS

BROTHER, CAN YOU SPARE A TAX BREAK? Though he lives near the Beltway, What’s the Matter With Kansas? author Thomas Frank is more than passingly familiar with our mossy corner of the country. In his new book, Pity the Billionaire: The Hard-Times Swindle and the Unlikely Comeback of the Right (Metropolitan,

$25), he cites local Tea Party activist Keli Carender’s “Take my money!” assault on congressman Norm Dicks three years back, a YouTube moment that signaled an abrupt shift in GOP tactics. After the Republicans’ sweeping 2008 electoral losses, Frank argues, the party adapted an aggrieved tone of “market populism”—as if it were Wall Street bankers, not Tom Joad, being driven out of the Dust Bowl. Excess government, not deregulation,

JANE MAGELLANIC

Frank blames the Tea Party movement partly on Ayn Rand.

Three for 2012

Cast the First Rock in Twenty Twelve , the title of Whim W’him’s new show, is fairly literal, since choreographer Olivier Wevers is offering a trio of fresh creations. thrOwn is about “righteous cruelty” and retribution, with images of punishment—flogging, electrocution, and stoning—rendered with the articulate virtuosity that is becoming Wevers’ kinetic signature. After such a harsh vision, we need a little sweetness, and he supplies that with La langue de l’amour, a new solo for Chalnessa Eames. Last is a gender-shifted version of the romantic pas de deux, this time featuring two male dancers, from August Bournonville’s Flower Festival in Genzano. (Through Sun.) Intiman Theatre, 201 Mercer St. (Seattle Center), 800-838-3006, whimwhim.org. $25–$30. 8 p.m. SANDRA KURTZ

tues/1/24 FILM

fri/1/20

A Stranger in the House

DANCE

Waltz This Way

Seattle Dance Project ’s newest work, Brahms Afoot, harks back to other

SCAN

KURTZ

mon/1/23 FILM

The Red Menace, in Black-and-White

Given all its awards and (likely) Oscar nominations, the neo-silent melodrama The Artist has introduced modern filmgoers to Hollywood before the catastrophe of sound. If the picture earns an Academy Award come February 26, it’ll be a fitting coda to this year’s Silent Movie Monday series, which carries an Oscar theme. First of the four titles being screened is Tempest (1928), which won an Oscar for its art direction. Organist Jim Riggs will accompany this star-

Seattle we ekly • Jan u ary 18– 24, 2012

iconic stagings of his beautiful waltzes by George Balanchine and Mark Morris. And SDP founders Tim Lynch and Julie Tobiason know the music well: They acquired their Brahms/Balanchine heritage during their years at Pacific Northwest Ballet. Similarly, choreographer Penny Hutchinson danced in several of Morris’ more modern Brahms adaptations. Those two different traditions just add to our curiosity—what will this newest version look like? As part of the company’s Project 5 program, SDP is also bringing back Edwaard Liang’s atmospheric To Converse Too and Kent Stowell’s jokey T H I S CO D E B6, alongside last year’s TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE mysterious Planes in SEATTLE WEEKLY Air by Molissa Fenley IPHONE/ANDROID APP FOR MORE EVENTS OR VISIT and a jazzy new work seattleweekly.com by Jason Ohlberg. It’s a very full evening for the group’s fifth season. (Through Jan. 29.) ACT Theatre, 700 Union St., 292-7676, acttheatre.org. $20–$25. 8 p.m. SANDRA

Project 5 includes Planes in Air (featuring dancer Betsy Cooper).

The second feature from Seattle filmmaker Matt Wilkins is, like his 2004 Buffalo Bill’s Defunct, about the frailty of human bodies, minds beset by age and stress, and the strains on a family whose equilibrium is upset. Marrow, however, is more visually resonant and emotionally rich—in every way more accomplished. Centered on one household almost to the exclusion of the outside world, it focuses on the fraught relationship between single mother Frances (Frances Hearn) and her often exasperatingly rude and surly son Wiley (Wiley Wilkins, the director’s son). Meanwhile, the shadow of Frances’ recently deceased father haunts the house through her hazy memories. The unsettling authenticity of untidy lives and frayed nerves is remarkable, if not exactly commercial (Marrow had its premiere at SIFF last year). Wilkins is at his best churning up the volatile emotional space in scenes that rise and fall unexpectedly and authentically. Parents, certainly, will relate to Wiley and Frances’ many arguments over hygiene and housekeeping. But no matter how they bicker, groping through disappointment and anger, there are genuine moments of connection and love. (Through Wed.) Northwest Film Forum, 1515 12th Ave., 329-1193, nwfilmforum.org. $6–$9. 8 p.m. SEAN AXMAKER ZEBRAVISUAL

was suddenly the cause of the financial crash. He describes former congressman Brian Baird being shouted down as a Nazi at another Tea Party ambush (one reason, perhaps, Baird declined to run again). And later, while researching this book, Frank finds himself up in Port Townsend, pondering how the term “socialist” has been redefined to mean anyone who can’t afford lobbyists or a Super PAC. Pity the Billionaire is admittedly a clip job, one that spends too many of its (few) pages debunking Glenn Beck and Atlas Shrugged. Its real villains are the oligarchs now passing themselves off as John Does in pursuit of ever more tax breaks and even less government oversight. There’s a fitting irony to the location of Frank’s Port Townsend studies: a Carnegie library, funded by that once-despised billionaire of the pre– income tax era. To which, of course, the Koch brothers would like to return. Only without the libraries. Elliott Bay Book Co., 1521 10th Ave., 624-6600, elliottbaybook. com. Free. 7 p.m. BRIAN MILLER

DANCE

arts»Stage

Neil Simon’s

»REVIEW

Martial Arts

Swaggering voices pump up a manly-man opera.

Issaquah: Jan 18 - Feb 26 Everett: Mar 2 - 25

Issaquah: (425) 392-2202 • Everett: (425) 257-8600 www.VillageTheatre.org

FeBruary 17–26

Bill Frisell

Plays tHe Music oF JoHn lennon, sPeedy West, and JiMMy Bryant

FeBruary 24

eattle Opera’s production of Verdi’s Attila is like an Italian opera reimagined by Spike TV. The martial score’s heavy on swagger and light on mushy stuff, full of two-fisted arias delivered by red-blooded voices. Even the lone female character’s a warrior—bent on avenging her father’s murder by the Hun, who plans to conquer Italy—and everyone’s in military gear in Bernard Uzan’s more-orless modern-dress staging. There’s gunplay, swordplay, and carousing, and scantily clad women get tossed around. It’s also tailored for short attention spans, with less than two hours of music (Act 3 lasts roughly 15 minutes) and conductor Carlo Montanaro obligingly speeding up the orchestral closing flourishes of every aria as if impatient to move on. This is early Verdi, his ninth opera of 30 or so, premiered in 1846 just as the fluid, ornate bel canto style of the previous generation was evolving into something more vigorous and declamatory (dubbed “can belto,” as goes the old joke). SO has found four stirring, full-bodied voices to sell this rarely staged work; you’d have to go back to its 2009 Ring, I think, to find a show with this level of sheer vocal oomph. It’s never done without a star bass to show off in the title role, and John Relyea, imposing in stature and voice, makes a magnetic Attila, the opera’s sole character exhibiting anything approaching two dimensions. As the monomaniacal Odabella, Ana Lucrecia Garcia, if a bit staid as a stage presence, sounds undaunted by Verdi’s vocal challenges: the cliff-diving plunges from the top to the

Seattle weekly • Janu ary 18– 24, 2 012

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BY GAVIN BORCHERT bottom of her range, the transparently scored, and therefore treacherous, romanza that’s the score’s only extended passage of delicate lyricism. Also sounding sonorous and confident is Antonello Palombi, recently SO’s go-to tenor for big Italian roles (Radames, Canio, Manrico), as Foresto, supposedly Odabella’s bf but more used than loved. Marco Vratogna brings yet another large and virile voice as Ezio, a snakelike ambassador who plots with Attila. This production makes much use of projected backdrops, sometimes representational (a coastline, a forest, palace interiors) and

There’s gunplay, swordplay, and carousing, and scantily clad women get tossed around. sometimes fussily abstract (maps consumed by flame, Attila’s enormous, graffiti-like monogram). The single set may be an economy measure, but it also helps focus an opera that, with its hard-to-care-about characters and fairly limp story, risks devolving into a parkand-bark revue. The orchestra (the Seattle Symphony) and chorus are faced with nothing like the difficulties the soloists are, but they attack and devour the music just as lustily. E gborchert@seattleweekly.com ATTILA McCaw Hall, Seattle Center, 389-7676, seattleopera.org. $25 and up. 7:30 p.m. Wed. & Sat. plus 2 p.m. Sun., Jan. 22. Ends Jan. 28.

on the lost art of music that rethinks other music. Ferruccio Busoni, for example, took a Bach » by gavin borchert piece for solo violin, his severe Chaconne, and expanded it into a clangorous piano showpiece, while Franz Liszt added notes by the thousands to the tuneful quartet from Verdi’s Rigoletto, For centuries, composers in the turning it into an opera-house Western tradition based music opium dream. His arrangements on other people’s music without of songs by Robert Schumann thinking anything of it—all are soberer (in general, Liszt the way back to the medieval treated German music more church musicians who built circumspectly, really going Masses atop borrowed folk nuts only with French or Italian tunes used as bass lines. But music). Busoni and Liszt made among classical composers in these transformations partly recent decades, the practice of out of love, but also to show stealing quoting paying homage off their monster keyboard to others’ work has gone out of technique—audiences would fashion (resurfacing, however, be all the more amazed at the in genres like hip-hop and flying fistfuls of notes if they Liszt loved opera, dance music, where sampling already had the comparatively warts and all. and remixing are standard unassuming originals in their procedures). Which is what heads. Meany Hall, UW campus, 543-4880, music.washington.edu. makes UW faculty pianist Robin McCabe’s recital program next week interesting: It focuses $12–$20. 7:30 p.m. Tues., Jan. 24.

The Borrowers

arts»

Performance BY GAVIN BORCHERT

Stage

GODSPELL Stephen (Wicked) Schwartz’s musical set-

OPENINGS & EVENTS

ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT Shirley Lauro’s look at four

German women during the Third Reich is based on actual interviews. ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave. S.W., 938-0339, artswest.org. $10–$34.50. Opens Jan. 18. 7:30 p.m. Wed.–Sat., 3 p.m. Sun. Ends Feb. 12. CAVALIA This circus/variété show is billed as “A Magical Encounter Between Human and Horse.” Marymoor Park, 6046 W. Lake Sammamish Pkwy. N.E., Redmond. $34.50–$189.50. Opens Jan. 18. Runs Tues.–Sun.; see cavaliaseattle.com for exact schedule. Ends Feb. 12. CRADLE AND ALL In David Goldfarb’s comedy, a colicky baby elicits various reactions among an apartment building’s denizens. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave., 800-838-3006, schmeater.org. $15–$23. Preview Jan. 19, opens Jan. 20. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Sat. Ends Feb. 18. HOW TO WRITE A NEW BOOK FOR THE BIBLE

A writer returns to live with his aging mother in Bill (Equivocation) Cain’s new play. Seattle Repertory Theatre, Seattle Center, 443-2222. $12–$64. Opens Jan. 18. Runs 7:30 p.m. Wed.–Sun., plus some Wed. & weekend matinees; see seattlerep.org for exact schedule. Ends Feb. 5. RABIH MROUÉ Politicotheatrical storytelling from this Lebanese artist. On the Boards, 100 W. Roy St., 217-9888, ontheboards.org. $12–$25. 8 p.m. Thurs., Jan. 19–Sun., Jan. 22.

SCAN T H I S CO D E

THE ODD COUPLE

Charles Leggett and Chris Ensweiler star in this Neil Simon fave. Village Theatre, TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE SEATTLE WEEKLY 303 Front St. N., Issaquah, 425-392-2202. $22–$62. IPHONE/ANDROID APP Opens Jan. 18. Runs Wed.– FOR MORE EVENTS OR VISIT Sun. plus some Tues.; see seattleweekly.com villagetheatre.org for exact schedule. Ends Feb. 26. JEFFREY ROSS SEE REVERB, PAGE 36. A SHORT–TERM SOLUTION TO A LONG–TERM PROBLEM A convoluted title to a likely hilarious

CURRENT RUNS

ANNIE Broadway Bound Children’s Theatre knows the

sun’ll come out tomorrow. Broadway Performance Hall, 1625 Broadway, 800-838-3006, broadwaybound.org. 7 p.m. Fri.–Sat., noon & 5 p.m. Sun. Ends Jan. 22. THE CALLERS The premiere of Ella Dorband and Ali el-Gasseir’s musical study of phone-sex workers. WET, 608 19th Ave. E., 325-5105, washingtonensemble.org. $10–$25. Runs 7:30 p.m. Thurs.–Mon. Ends Feb. 6. CORIOLANUS Seattle Shakespeare’s production effectively contemporizes the tale of professional warrior Caius Martius, aka Coriolanus (magnificently played like a smashed-up quarterback by hulking David Drummond), who wins status on the battlefield but can’t win the hearts of common citizens. MARGARET FRIEDMAN Center House Theatre, Seattle Center, 733-8222. $15–$40. 7:30 p.m. Thurs.–Sat. plus some Sundays; see seattleshakespeare.org for schedule. Ends Jan. 29. Send events to stage@seattleweekly.com, dance@seattleweekly.com, or classical@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings. = Recommended

•

Dance

SEATTLE DANCE PROJECT SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 17. WHIM W’HIM SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 17. FLAMENCO NIGHT Dancer Savannah Fuentes and

friends perform. Columbia City Theater, 4918 Rainier Ave. S., savannahfuentes.com. $15–$20. 8 p.m. Thurs., Jan. 19. THE BRIDGE PROJECT New works, created in only three weeks, by Alice Gosti, Rachel Grant, and others. Velocity Dance Center, 1621 12th Ave., 325-8773, velocitydance center.org. $12–$18. 8 p.m. Fri., Jan. 20–Sun., Jan. 22. CENTURY HIGH This cabaret hits just about every dance film cliché since Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland Lindy-hopped their way to fame and romance. The lighthearted plot is a mashup of Footloose and Dirty Dancing, the score is an infectious compliation of greatest hits and soundtrack discs, but it’s the dancing that really makes the evening buzz. As young lovers, Joshua Welter and Melanie Huot-Lavoie find an old-fashioned sweetness in their swing-dancing numbers, while Alison Cockrill and Michelle Badion use Latin dances like a lethal weapon. Waldimir Pino strutting as a Tony Manero dance-alike and Deron Hayes as a flashdancing coed inhabit their caricatures with zest. Despite the crossdressing, gender play, and dialogue laced with double entendre, the cast takes their dancing straight (as it were)—even the dream sequence with La’Twon Allen as a tap-dancing guardian angel has an undeniable virtuosity. They may send up their sources, but it isn’t a case of sour grapes—they really can do the dances they mock. So when Waxie Moon, Inga Ingenue, and Lou Henry Hoover perform Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies” as a live-action music video or the entire cast re-enacts the end of the big dance number in Dirty Dancing, they may give us an ironic wink, but our applause is authentic. SANDRA KURTZ Century Ballroom & Cafe, 915 E. Pine St., 324-7263, centuryballroom.com. $20–$55. 6 p.m. dinner, 7:30 p.m. show, Saturdays. Ends Feb. 4.

Classical, Etc.

SEATTLE OPERA SEE REVIEW, PAGE 18. CONCERT SPIRITUEL Chamber music from the court

of Louis XIV for guitar, flute, and viola da gamba. Christ Episcopal Church, 4548 Brooklyn Ave., 633-1611, concertspirituel.org. $15–$20. 7:30 p.m. Wed., Jan. 18. TRIO CON BRIO Two faves for piano trio, Tchaikovsky’s symphony-scaled work and Haydn’s snappy “Gypsy” trio, plus one by Frank Martin. Meany Hall, UW campus, 5434880, uwworldseries.org. $20–$34. 8 p.m. Wed., Jan. 18. ONE-MINUTE SOLOS In this benefit for the Seattle Improvised Music Festival, local avant-musicians each improvise for 60 seconds tops. Chapel Performance Space, 4649 Sunnyside Ave. N., seattleimprovisedmusic.us. $10–$25. 8 p.m. Thurs., Jan. 19. SEATTLE SYMPHONY Haydn, Mendelssohn, and a violin concerto by Peteris Vasks. Benaroya Hall, 200 University St., 215-4747, seattlesymphony.org. $17–$110. 7:30 p.m. Thurs., Jan. 19, 8 p.m. Sat., Jan. 21. SEATTLE SYMPHONY Music from Latin America, including Moncayo’s Huapango (“the Rhapsody in Blue of Mexico”). Benaroya Hall, 200 University St., 215-4747, seattlesymphony.org. $17–$74. 7:30 p.m. Fri., Jan. 20. MARA GEARMAN This violist anchors a program of chamber music from Mozart to Feldman. Cornish College/PONCHO Concert Hall, 710 E. Roy St., 726-5066, cornish.edu. $10–$20. 8 p.m. Fri., Jan. 20. MONKTAIL COMPOSERS SERIES New works for bass, winds, and more. Chapel Performance Space, 4649 Sunnyside Ave. N., monktail.com. $5. 8 p.m. Sat., Jan. 21. SEATTLE FESTIVAL ORCHESTRA Music by Beethoven, orchestra member David Haney, and others. University Preparatory Academy, 8000 25th Ave. N.E., seattle festivalorchestra.org. Free. 3 p.m. Sun., Jan. 22. ROBIN MCCABE SEE EAR SUPPLY, PAGE 18. SEATTLE SYMPHONY COMMUNITY CONCERTS

Music by Weber and Beethoven for free. At Roosevelt High School Auditorium, 1410 N.E. 66th St., 7:30 p.m. Tues., Jan. 24; and City Hall, 600 Fourth Ave., 12:30 p.m. Wed., Jan. 25. seattlesymphony.org.

TICKETS AT STGPRESENTS.ORG, BY PHONE (877) 784-4849, powered by THE PARAMOUNT THEATRE BOX OFFICE & 24-HOUR KIOSKS

Seattle we ekly • Jan u ary 18– 24, 2012

solo show by David Schmader. Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave., 322-7030, hugohouse.org. $15–$20. Opens Jan. 20. 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat. Ends Feb. 4. THEBES Kristina Sutherland’s dark comedy about a mayoral campaign and a returning soldier. Theater Off Jackson, 409 Seventh Ave. S., 340-1049, machamonkey. org. $12–$18. Opens Jan. 20. 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat., plus 8 p.m. Jan. 30 and 2 p.m. Feb. 5. Ends Feb. 11. URBAN TANUKI SAMURAI Ali el-Gasseir and Jonah Von Spreecken’s all-ages romp. WET, 608 19th Ave. E., 800-838-3006, washingtonensemble.org. $5–$10. Opens Jan. 21. 11 a.m. Sat.–Sun. Ends Feb. 5. WHITE HOT Tommy Smith’s play is “a buried cesspool of self-loathing and unseemly, sadistic yearnings in love.” Maybe leave the kids home. West of Lenin, 203 N. 36th St., 800-838-3006, brownpapertickets.com. $18. Opens Jan. 20. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Sat. plus Mon., Feb. 6. Ends Feb. 11.

ting of the Gospel of Matthew. First Stage Theatre, 120 Front St. N., Issaquah, 425-392-2202, villagetheatre.org. $14–$16. 7:30 p.m. Thurs.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. Ends Jan. 22. TEATRO ZINZANNI: BONSOIR LILIANE! An homage to singer/actress/dancer Liliane Montevecchi. Teatro ZinZanni, 222 Mercer St., 802-0015, zinzanni.org. $76 and up. 6:30 p.m. Wed.–Sat., 5:30 p.m Sun. Ends Jan. 29. For more Current Runs, see seattleweekly.com.

arts»

arts»Visual Arts »REVIEW

Spinning the Oldies

Chicago artist Theaster Gates tries to create a soul refuge at SAM. BY BRIAN MILLER

BY KAT CHOW

Openings & Events BAMIGNITE: MAD MEN & MARTINIS PARTY!

The museum is going “mad”—Don Draper style— with lounge music, martinis, and candy cigarettes. Guests are expected to “dress vintage.” 21 and over. Bellevue Arts Museum, 510 Bellevue Way N.E., Bellevue, 425-519-0770, bellevuearts.org. 8 p.m. Fri., Jan. 20. BELLTOWN ART WALK Every third Thursday of the month, neighborhood galleries (including Roq La Rue and others) and non-galleries (Yellow Leaf Cupcakes, Whiskey Bar, Pintxo, etc.) extend their hours so you can check out work by local artists. bedlamite.com/bawm. Free. 6 p.m. Thurs., Jan. 19. ROBIN CROOKALL In How Things Stack Up, Crookall uses mixed media—including taxidermied animals— to depict the absurd. Note artist lecture and reception 6–8 p.m. Fri., Jan. 27. Gage Academy of Art, 1501 10th Ave. E., 323-4243, gageacademy. org. Mon.–Fri.; call for regular hours. Ends Feb. 10.

SCAN

T H I S CO D E

FREE FAMILY DAY: WINTER WONDERLAND

Winter-themed art projects, artist SEATTLE WEEKLY demonstrations, and IPHONE/ANDROID APP entertainment for ages FOR MORE EVENTS OR VISIT 4–12. Bellevue Arts Museum, 510 Bellevue seattleweekly.com Way N.E., Bellevue, 425519-0770, bellevuearts.org. 1–4 p.m. Sun., Jan. 22. TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE

GEORGE NELSON SYMPOSIUM: BEYOND THE EXHIBITION Those looking to develop a firm grasp

of Nelson’s contributions to the architecture world will hear from field experts like Hilda Longinotti, David Miller, and others. Bellevue Arts Museum,

Send events to visualarts@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings = Recommended

•

510 Bellevue Way N.E., Bellevue, 425-519-0770, bellevuearts.org. $40 non-members, $35 members. Noon–5 p.m. Sat., Jan. 21. GROUP EXHIBITION Debuting smaller works are James Martin, Andre Petterson, Bratsa Bonifacho, John de Wit, Luce Pelletier, Louise Kikuchi, Cameron Anne Mason, Ben Darby, Casey McGlynn, Darlene Cole, Merrilee Moore, Will Robinson, David Schwarz, Guy Laramee, and Rachel Denny. Additionally, Evan Blackwell, George Rodriguez, Paul Vexler, and Eva Isaksen provide larger installation art. Foster/White Gallery, 220 Third Ave. S., 622-2833, fosterwhite.com. 10 a.m.–6 p.m. Tues.–Sat. Ends Jan. 26. LOOKING FORWARD—LOOKING BACK 20thcentury photographs. Michelle Dunn Marsh lectures on “Collecting Photographs,” 2 p.m. Fri., Jan. 27. G. Gibson Gallery, 300 S. Washington St. (Tashiro Kaplan Building), 587-4033, ggibsongallery. com. Opens Jan. 20. 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Wed.–Sat. Ends Feb. 18. LESLIE MCKAY New Drawings showcases McKay’s techniques of drawing in layers, using grids and other geometric forms to organize her work. Patricia Cameron Gallery, 234 Dexter Ave. N., 343-9647, patriciacamerongallery.com. Opens Jan. 19. 11 a.m.–5:30 p.m. Mon.–Fri. Ends March 2. DOUG PARRY Brooklyn Friends features three of 20 portraits of Parry’s colleagues from New York, in the form of oil paintings. Note artist reception 7 p.m. Sat. Jan. 28. All City Coffee, 1205 S. Vale St., 7677146, allcitycoffee.com. 6 a.m.–7:30 p.m. Mon.–Fri.; 7 a.m.–7 p.m. Sat.; 8 a.m.–7 p.m. Sun. Ends March 4. JULIETTE RICCI This Tacoma artist’s work, a blend of photography, painting, and original prose, will be included in the museum’s 10th Northwest Biennial Show. Note opening reception 6:30–9 p.m. Sat., Jan. 21. Tacoma Art Museum, 1701 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253-272-4258, tacomaartmuseum.org. Opens Jan. 21. 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Wed.–Sun. Ends May 20. THOMAS WOOD Intaglio Prints 1998–2012, a retrospective collection, showcases Wood’s different techniques, including drypoint, mezzotint, and engraving. Note artist reception 4–6 p.m. Sat., Jan. 21. Lisa Harris Gallery, 1922 Pike Place, 443-3315, lisaharrisgallery.com. Opens Jan. 21. 11 a.m.–4 p.m. Sun., 10:30 a.m.–5:30 p.m. Mon.–Sat. Ends Feb. 26.

TheFussyeye » by brian miller

Implied Visage

There are a number of busts and portraits in the group show waggishly called Give Me Head, but my favorite wouldn’t look out of place at the supermarket. So ingrained is our need to scan and study facial features that it only takes a few folds and creases for Mark Mumford to suggest a human likeness with a paper shopping bag. Wall-mounted on a metal arm, the untitled 1999 work is at eye level, as if gazing back at you. The wrinkled brown paper makes one think of aged skin, and the constriction below could be a wattled throat. The square corners are almost brows, or a particularly severe haircut. Chin and nose are easy to discern in the bunched paper, but the truth is that Mumford didn’t have to put a lot of effort into the thing. Our minds supply the rest of the physiognomy; we’re hard-wired to recognize and respond to faces. Or rather, we create them, which is part of Mumford’s point. From rock formations to tree trunks to buildings, we find a way to correlate nose, mouth, and eyes to such material. Appropriately, the bag is a container, an empty vessel for our imaginings.

BRIAN MILLER

Seattle weekly • Janu ary 18– 24, 2 012

BRIAN MILLER

here are many good intentions For Gates, store owner Sam Greenberg to The Listening Room, perhaps epitomized the old solidarity of the civil-rights era. Even if he wasn’t marching on Selma, here 2,000 of them—the approximate was a Jew operating a store featuring Africannumber of albums Theaster Gates American music in a traditionally black neighsalvaged from an old Chicago record shop. borhood. Thus, preserving Greenberg’s old They’ve been neatly shelved along the galwares became a way of preserving that past lery’s back wall, where you can browse but not touch the faded cardboard sleeves. Marvin idealism. (For his part, Greenberg might not have seen his old business in quite the same Gaye, Stevie Wonder, the O’Jays—these are way. “There are just not enough customers,” bands from a now-distant time, when listenhe told SoulTracks.com. “Downloading hurt ers white and black could listen to the same us, but the economy put R&B tunes on the radio. us under.”) To scan the names on the And who doesn’t nod spines—but not the covtheir head at such noble ers—gives you a warm, sentiments? Who isn’t in nostalgic shiver, and favor of racial harmony, Gates’ archival project is singing to the oldies on strongly oriented toward the AM dial, and recycling the past, which we might building materials? But as well shorthand as the after Gates delivers his ’60s (though Gates was modest remarks and exits born in 1973). Can you the gallery, one is left with remember, can you dig it? the installation itself. The music? The new civilrights laws? The Southern Most of us have this sheriffs turning fire hoses music at home—at least on protest marchers? And some of it. Or we can those endless sit-ins? download it, perhaps “What is the relationtaking notes from the ship between music and “don’t touch” albums the political?” asks Gates for iTunes later. And turnin his artist statement. tables, honestly, aren’t such “What is the state of a novelty. Kids today know Civil Rights?” Visitors what vinyl is; and if they Dr. Wax’s “discarded knowledge” are supposed to mull want to handle the stuff, a is repurposed as art. such questions while flea market is cheaper than browsing, listening, and— SAM. (Plus you get to take from a smaller, separate group of records and the music home with you.) And will older visia turntable—supplying their own soundtrack tors, who possibly still have their original album in the gallery. There’s furniture for lounging, collections, really want to disturb etiquette by all similarly salvaged, and an old church altar playing music here? I doubt it. Museums are for has been repurposed as a DJ console (for First quiet contemplation; and there is in fact a diaThursdays and SAM Remix events). It takes logue in looking: what the artist has put before a while to realize that the light brown strips you, and your response to it. of cloth on the walls, arranged something like Gates has used the fire hoses before (coiled, large flags, are made of fire hoses. (Not the framed, arranged like sculpture), but on the ones Bull Connor used in Alabama, but hoses wall they’re just bland swaths of beige. The still.) This exhibit isn’t overtly political, and originals from Birmingham might have some Gates’ statement—copies are located at the force, but these untitled pieces just read like entryway—is hardly a manifesto. wall covering. Given a little color, they could Indeed, during a press tour last month, the be carpets. The recycled furniture—from old soft-spoken artist talked about creating a room Chicago factories, now closed—is no more to foster dialogue about “race and class and impressive, and Gates makes no link between space and hope,” the notion being that music the decline of manufacturing and the decline of could open up museum visitors to such social R&B and soul. The old signage is just random. engagement, rather than silently staring at In the end, though a generous, sincerely art on the walls. He lamented how the old Dr. communitarian gesture, The Sitting Room seems Wax record store, located in the Hyde Park an exercise in nostalgia. One man’s unsold neighborhood from 1984 to 2010, had once inventory is another man’s private utopia. E provided such a refuge during his youth. He bmiller@seattleweekly.com compared its outdated, unwanted vinyl collection to the contents of a corner bookstore— THE LISTENING ROOM “discarded knowledge” that he had rescued. Seattle Art Museum, 1300 First Ave., “An archive, a canon,” he called it. The old Dr. 654-3100, seattleartmuseum.org. $12–$15. Wax has been “replaced by a Chipotle,” he 10 a.m.–9 p.m. Thurs.–Fri., 10 a.m.–5 p.m. tartly noted. Wed., Sat., & Sun. Ends July 1.

Visual Arts

(Perhaps it briefly enveloped Mumford’s own head, giving it shape?) However humble, it’s been imparted with a certain human dignity. After all, not all portraits need to be painted with oils or sculpted from marble. James Harris Gallery, 312 Second Ave. S., 903-6220, jamesharrisgallery.com. Free. 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Thurs.–Sat. Ends Jan. 28.

film»This Week’s Attractions

ELEVN ARTS

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close OPENS AT METRO AND OTHER THEATERS, FRI., JAN. 20. RATED PG-13. 129 MINUTES.

NICK PINKERTON

Fullmetal Alchemist: The Sacred Star of Milos RUNS AT GRAND ILLUSION, FRI., JAN. 20– THURS., JAN. 26. NOT RATED. 110 MINUTES.

Winner of the award for Wordiest Title of the Month, this Japanese anime also features a very long and confusing plot, extracted from the original manga by Hiromu Arakawa. In brief, the “holy land” of Milos has been relocated, like an entire nation of refugees (echoes of Tibet and Palestine), to the bottom of a vast canyon where its citizens pick through the trash dumped from above. Into the valley come brothers Edward and Alphonse, both alchemists disfigured by their first forays into magic. Ed now sports a prosthetic metal arm, while poor Al, despite his prepubescent voice, has

been entirely transformed into a giant iron sumo. (When someone knocks off his head, he calmly reattaches it, none the worse for wear.) There in Milos they meet rebel fighter Julia—also an alchemist, though without any metal hardware. Despite the machinations between rival nations Creta and Amaestris (from whence the boys hail), the three set about solving the mystery of “transmutation circles” that might allow the Milosians to reclaim their old surface domain. The alchemists’ battles and special powers involve palm-blasting force fields, suddenly snaking bridges of ice, and stalagmites erupting from the ground. There’s a giant wolf in pursuit, and above an elegant squadron of bat-winged guerrilla babes, who swoop over the desert canyons and spindly railroad viaducts. Here the locomotives are powered by steam, the military wears gilt epaulets, and brass speaking tubes are still employed. The Balkan maps and ethnic cleansing suggest recent history, but there are older allusions to Prometheus, Metropolis, and the Tower of Babel. It’s silly and excessive, but Fullmetal Alchemist occasionally strikes a note of adolescent truth, as when Ed wishes for “some way to get our bodies back.” Every pimply teen will know just how he feels. (Note: 6:30 p.m. show is dubbed, 8:45 p.m. show is subtitled.) BRIAN MILLER

Haywire OPENS AT PACIFIC PLACE AND OTHER THEATERS, FRI., JAN. 20. RATED R. 105 MINUTES.

Haywire’s plot is boilerplate triple-cross, cloak-and-dagger stuff—but the action choreography by director Steven Soderbergh and MMA fighter Gina Carano puts the impact back into screen violence. After a setup, ex-Marine Mallory Kane (Carano) goes rogue from her job as hired muscle for a private government subcontractor, looking for answers from her boss and former lover, Kenneth, played by Ewan McGregor. The rest of his network is played by famous faces—Antonio Banderas, Channing Tatum, Michael Douglas, Michael Fassbender—but Haywire is very much a vehicle for Carano, appearing in her first film. The casting is more than a stunt, for Haywire makes full

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 22

Seattle we ekly • Jan u ary 18– 24, 2012

Director Stephen Daldry has never met a Big Theme he didn’t like: After 2002’s The Hours, a lugubrious women’s-problem picture touching on AIDS and assisted suicide, he went to Auschwitz with 2008’s The Reader. Daldry’s logical next stop is this adaptation of Jonathan Safran Foer’s novel, which provides not one but two global/historical tragedies to play with. Ten-year old Oskar Schell (Thomas Horn) has lost his father (Tom Hanks), who was on the 105th floor of one of the Twin Towers on the morning of 9/11. Almost a year later, Oskar, increasingly estranged from his mother (Sandra Bullock), finds a key in an envelope labeled “Black” among his father’s effects, and, in an effort to keep open the dialogue with his scavenger-hunt-designing, game-playing dad, concludes that this key was the prompt to a last riddle, which he sets out, at length, to solve. He is joined for a leg of his mission by a mysterious, mute tenant staying in his grandmother’s apartment (Max von Sydow), very likely the grandfather who abandoned Oskar’s father. Mr. Schell invented games to bait Oskar out of his anxieties, while Extremely Loud plays its own writerly game of strategic withholding, baiting the audience along the way to a therapeutic breakthrough for the surviving Schells. Such an abundance of “epiphanies,” one after another, amount to a tactical assault on viewer sentiments. The deluge of tears is Daldry’s idea of pathos, but to these eyes it’s Oscar-trolling 9/11 kitsch.

Fullmetal Alchemist: Behold the flying bat babes!

LOOKING FOR MR. SNICKERS THR JAN 19

JOHN GARDNER & FRIENDS FRI&SAT JAN 20&21 SAN FRANCISCO FINEST ALEX KOLL PLUS RICH SHULTIS

“KOLL’S COMEDY VOICE IS HIS OWN” -- SF WEEKLY

SUN JAN 22 AUDITIONS

MON JAN 23 EVERYONE’S A COMEDIAN

OPEN MIC NIGHT THRS-SAT JAN 26-28 UPROAR CD RECORDING SALEEN PLUS PETE HALL

PLAYING JANUARY 20–26 511 Queen Anne Avenue North

Best Documentaries of 2011 FRIDAY | JANUARY 20 Project Nim 7:00 Into the Abyss 9:00 SATURDAY | JANUARY 21 Finding Joe 12:45 Being Elmo 2:45 Buck 4:45

Bill Cunningham New York 7:00 Charlotte Rampling: The Look 9:00

SUNDAY | JANUARY 22 The Interrupters 2:00

Black Power Mixtape 1967-1975 4:45 Undefeated 7:00

TUESDAY | JANUARY 24 Tabloid 7:00

Page One: Inside The New York Times 9:00

WEDNESDAY | JANUARY 25 The Arbor 7:00 General Orders No. 9 9:00 THURSDAY | JANUARY 26

Thunder Soul 7:00 Beats Rhymes and Life: The Travels of a Tribe Called Quest 9:00

Melancholia Daily 8:30 Tomboy Fri–Sun 4:30 Cave of Forgotten Dreams 3D Daily 6:30 / Sat & Sun 2:30 / No show Tues

Americanese Tues 7:00

Seattle Center Northwest Rooms

Miss Representation

(at Occidental)

206.628.0303

Seattle weekly • Janu ary 18– 24, 2 012

WWW.COMEDYUNDERGROUND.COM

This Week’s Attractions » FROM PAGE 21

MONDAY | JANUARY 23

Senna 7:00 Knuckle 9:15

Director Eric Byler and author Shawn Wong in person

109 S. Washington St.

film»

Fri–Sun 6:00, 8:30 / Sat & Sun 3:30 / Tues–Thurs 7:00

Films4Families: All seats only $4!

E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial Sat & Sun 12:00PM San Francisco Opera Cinema Series

Madama Butterfly Mon 6:30

use of her particular physical capabilities in combats of rib-cracking resonance. Carano is also photogenic; this is important because Haywire is, after a fashion, a slapstick-violent, mercenary sex comedy, with Mallory getting romantically involved with each of her major combatants in turn. The highlight combat-duet is a parody of a swank first date in which the aggressive male gets more than he bargained for in the bedroom, concluding in a smothering thigh lock that leaves its victim with a priceless sated and insensate expression before his black-widow goodnight kiss. This is a real war-of-the-sexes tournament, briskly paced with a tickling sense of dark humor. NICK PINKERTON

Miss Representation RUNS AT SIFF FILM CENTER, FRI., JAN. 20– THURS., JAN. 26. NOT RATED. 90 MINUTES.

If you have a 13-year-old daughter who’s hitherto been raised a) as a fundamentalist Christian, b) as a staunch Republican, or c) on a diet of reality TV, by all means take her to see this feminist primer made for the Oprah Winfrey Network. Dismayed

MISSREPRESENTATION.ORG

GREAT AMERICAN COMEDY FESTIVAL

206.324.9996 | www.siff.net

Director Siebel Newsom becomes a mother during the course of her doc.

by the media’s depiction of women (cue Kardashian montage), director Jennifer Siebel Newsom lines up a series of academics and celebrities who decry the objectification of women. Margaret Cho, Jane Fonda, Rachel Maddow, Gloria Steinem, Nancy Pelosi, and even Condoleezza Rice all deliver sensible

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 24

REVIVING 5,000 YEARS OF CIVILIZATION.

Discover the glory of a fantastically rich culture, that of classical China, brought to life through brilliantly choreographed dance and mesmerizing, all-original orchestral compositions. Magnificently costumed dancers—the world’s elite—move in poetic arrangements that evoke pastoral beauty, imperial drama, and the glory of an ancient civilization. This season, discover what art was meant to be. Discover Shen Yun.

“An extraordinary experience… exquisitely beautiful.” —Cate Blanchett, Academy Award-winning actress

FEB 7-8

McCaw Hall at Seattle Center TICKETS: Ticketmaster.com 800-745-3000 Presenter 888-998-9961 Presented by Falun Dafa Association of Washington

SHENYUN2012.com

FOR 5,000 YEARS in China, culture was heralded as a divine gift. Its glory was long the inspiration of countless artists and poets, until this heritage was nearly lost… Based in New York, Shen Yun Performing Arts seeks to revive this once-majestic tradition by creating a production worthy in its beauty of this noble history—something that enriches the lives of audiences in powerful, lasting ways.

“A visually dazzling tour of 5,000 years of Chinese history and culture.” —San Francisco Chronicle Scan this QR code with smartphone for more information

Seattle we ekly • Jan u ary 18– 24, 2012

SHEN YUN. For Chinese, the words evoke a sense of wonder, magic, and the divine. To audiences who have seen it, they recall the experience of a lifetime—a moment so powerfully beautiful it touches the soul.

A Reader’s Guide

GOOD BOOKSTORES SPOTLIGHT ON

E HER

Left Bank Books Normal Life Dean Spade

“Setting forth a politic that goes beyond the quest for mere legal inclusion, Normal Life is an urgent call for justice and trans liberation, and the radical transformations it will require.“

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film» This Week’s Attractions » FROM PAGE 22 remarks on the fatuousness of Hollywood, Fox News, fashion mags, etc., but those remarks are so obvious as to be white noise. No self-respecting liberal Seattle parent is going to be shocked by entertainment images they already censor from their daughters’ eyes. To engage those tween eyes, Siebel Newsom throws up a lot of snazzy graphics and inspirational quotes, then adds testimonials from enlightened Bay Area teens and womens’ mentoring seminars. She doesn’t help her cause with personal details (anorexic, failed actress, current wife of California’s Lieutenant Governor, Gavin Newsom, who appears in the film), and Miss Representation essentially plays like an infomercial for itself (see the movie, attend a seminar, everyone hug!). You’re left wanting to hear more career specifics from the screen veterans here. “All of Hollywood is run on one assumption,” says Geena Davis, “that women will watch stories about men, but men won’t watch stories about women.” True, but that’s not why Cutthroat Island failed. And when Katie Couric says her career in journalism was partly inspired by The Mary Tyler Moore Show, just try to think of an equivalent influence today. 2 Broke Girls, anyone? BRIAN MILLER

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Imagine the early, hellaciously bleak work of Cormac McCarthy transposed to the corrupt outlands of modern Russia and/ or Ukraine and composed with a steely psychopath’s disregard for cohesion, and you have something like Sergei Loznitsa’s debut feature, a two-hour-plus decathlon of evil cross-purposes and runaway iniquity. A documentarian by trade, Loznitsa trusts his camera and distrusts dialogue, just as does his dire landscape’s assortment of feral mercenaries, whores, scroungers, and cutthroats. My Joy begins with a body tossed— splat—into a cement-filled pit and covered by a tractor in broad daylight; you forget about this gob in the eye soon enough and instead follow a wary truck driver (Viktor Nemets) trying to deliver his load but having his “story” get mangled, sidelined, and hijacked. Mysterious strangers, inexplicable stoppages, leaps into the future, the ubiquitous presence of one kind of Russian bottomfeeder or another—all are shot with a restraint and gravity that’s almost terrifying. With a wandering dolly or a single abrupt cut, the narrative jumps the tracks, years pass, dramas end badly offscreen. Exuding the DNA of compatriot movies like Aleksey Balabanov’s Cargo 200 and Ilya Khrjanovsky’s 4, My Joy is a maddening vision and one of the year’s must-see provocations. MICHAEL ATKINSON E

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Arthouse & Rep AMERICANESE The way things move in Hollywood,

10 years is not a particularly long period of time for an author to wait for his book to reach the screen. And it only happens for maybe one in 10,000 authors. And then it’s often an unhappy process, with characters changed and meanings reversed—adaptation as ordeal, or punishment, or worse. But according to UW professor Shawn Wong, that’s not the way things went with Americanese, a 2006 indie treatment of his 1995 novel American Knees. “It’s sort of Hollywood lore that the writer is never satisfied with their movie,” he says of the film, which he co-wrote and helped produce. “But one, I was kept involved all the way along. And two, everybody involved from the financiers all the way down was Asian-American. So I never had to educate anybody about the movie.” His main character is a woman who’s half Japanese and half Irish; she becomes involved with a divorced Chinese-American academic, and then both

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of them hook up with others in a broadening roundelay of ethnicity and sexuality. Wong describes the original novel as “a romantic comedy, [but] the movie takes the serious parts . . . and focuses on them.” Wong is expected to attend the screening. (NR) BRIAN MILLER SIFF Cinema at the Uptown, 511 Queen Anne Ave. N., 324-9996, siff.net. $5–$10. 7 p.m. Tues., Jan. 24. THE BEST DOCUMENTARIES OF 2011 The acclaimed Project Nim begins a weeklong series. This documentary biopic of the ’70s chimp picked to endure an “experiment” in simian sign language and general neglect pulls human heartstrings as wrenchingly as any creature feature in nearly half a century. Following brown-eyed beauty Nim, by turns cuddly and ferocious, from an Oklahoma cage to an Upper West Side brownstone and then back behind bars, director James Marsh (Man on Wire) imbues a wild story with true-life tragicomedy. Snatched from his mother’s arms, then shuttled between surrogate parents who teach him to apologize for his natural rage, Nim is a natural-born rebel in crazy times: he enjoys his Oedipal phase, hits puberty, puffs pot, bites the hand that feeds, and generally goes ape before getting busted by the Man. Nim is an animal, of course, but Marsh also pictures him as a troubled teen in a series of profoundly dysfunctional

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film» families. Bereft of one wounded caregiver after another, the simian pupil certainly can’t be blamed for learning to attack—or harden his heart. Indeed, watching Marsh’s exquisitely sad film, a human can’t help harboring the occasional fantasy of Nim rising to lead a planet of apes in fiery conquest. (Plays 7 p.m. Fri., Jan. 20; see siff.net for showtimes and schedule for the entire series, which also includes Into the Abyss, Bill Cunningham New York, and Senna.) ROB NELSON SIFF Cinema at the Uptown, 511 Queen Anne Ave. N., 324-9996, siff.net. $5–$10. Jan. 20–26. CRO-MAGNON PICTURES RETROSPECTIVE Various shorts are screened, both animated and live-action. 21 and over. (NR). JewelBox/Rendezvous, 2322 Second Ave., 441-5823, jewelbox theater.com. $8–$10. 6:30 & 8:30 p.m. Fri., Jan. 20. THE DIVIDE A mushroom cloud blooms over Manhattan at the opening of The Divide. We see it reflected in the tearful eyes of the film’s silent protagonist, Eva (Lauren German), who’ll spend much of the subsequent movie watching and waitT H I S CO D E ing. She and eight other TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE building residents, including SEATTLE WEEKLY her French fiancé, Sam IPHONE/ANDROID APP (Iván González), manage to FOR MORE EVENTS OR VISIT get to the basement before seattleweekly.com the building collapses on top of them. What follows is a lock-in that becomes increasingly squalid and feral as despair of rescue and cabin fever set in, and as a power struggle involving the survivalist super (Michael Biehn) and the young Turks (Milo Ventimiglia and Michael Eklund) who want into his hidden caches ensues. The allegorical signposts are everywhere in Karl Mueller and Eron Sheean’s script: Everyone represents an ideal, but no one shows anything like carefully observed human behavior. The Divide is so busy mixing

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metaphors to explain our dog-eat-dog contemporary world that it never bothers filling out relationships beyond a thumbnail-sketch level. What The Divide finally offers audiences is the not-terribly-edifying, stagnant experience of being locked in a basement with a pack of assholes. (NR) NICK PINKERTON Egyptian, 805 E. Pine St., 781-5755, landmarktheatres.com. $8.25. 11:59 p.m. Fri., Jan. 20–Sat., Jan. 21. DRUMMER’S DREAM Nasyr Abdul Al-Khabyyr, Dennis Chambers, Kenwood Dennard, Horacio “El-Negro” Hernandez, Giovanni Hidalgo, Mike Mangini and Raul Rekow are among those featured in this new documentary celebration of percussionists. (NR). Northwest Film Forum, 1515 12th Ave., 329-1193, nwfilmforum.org. $6–$9. 5. 7. & 9 p.m. Fri., Jan. 20–Sun., Jan. 22. E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL I cried three times in revisiting Steven Spielberg’s gorgeous, influential 1982 fairy tale. Hell, I choked up not only at the flying bike stuff, but at the goddamn opening title card. Some questionable p.c. revisionism: Although “penis breath” still makes the cut, Elliott’s brother is no longer chastised for dressing up as a “terrorist” for Halloween—but as a “hippie” instead. Recent CGI tweaks cast E.T. in Phantom Menace unreality, yet augment a welcome, restored bathtub sequence. (PG) ANDREW BONAZELLI SIFF Film Center. $4. Noon Sat.–Sun. Through Jan. 22. A LONELY PLACE TO DIE A group of mountain climbers encounters a kidnapping plot in this recent English suspense flick. (NR) Grand Illusion, 1403 N.E. 50th St., 523-3935, grandillusioncinema.org. $5–$8. Opens Jan. 20. 11 p.m. Fri.–Sat. Ends Jan. 28. MARROW SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 17. THE PRINCESS BRIDE From 1987, Rob Reiner’s charming PG-rated adaptation of the classic William Goldman children’s tale is sweet, funny, and well-played down the line for both parents and kids. Cary Elwes and Robin Wright Penn are the handsome, occasionally quarrelsome lovers; Wallace Shawn, Mandy Patinkin, and the late André the Giant help get them together after many amusing adventures. Call for showtimes. (PG) BRIAN MILLER Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave., 686-6684, central-cinema.com. $6. Fri., Jan. 20–Wed., Jan. 25.

SCI-FI SATURDAY SECRET MATINEES The Sprocket

Society presents a secret program of futuristic shorts and serials (the 1939 Buck Rogers included among the latter). (NR) Grand Illusion. $15–56 (series). 2 p.m. Sat. Through March 24. SHOOT THE PIANO PLAYER Although it has been overrated by the director’s cultists, François Truffaut’s second film, from 1960, which stars sad-eyed Charles Aznavour as a pianist with a past, is a freer work than The 400 Blows. It’s an odd pastiche of a gangster movie, lively and entertaining, but also uneven and disjointed. (NR) ELLIOT STEIN Seattle Art Museum, 1300 First Ave., seattleartmuseum.org. $59–$66 series, $7 individual. 7:30 p.m. Thurs. Through March 1. SILENT MOVIE MONDAYS SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 17. STARGATE James Spader and Kurt Russell go back in time in this 1994 sci-fi flick. Call for showtimes (unless you’re visiting from the future and already know them). (PG-13). Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave., 686-6684, central-cinema.com. $6. Fri., Jan. 20–Sun., Jan. 22. THE 20/20 AWARDS Local cinéastes celebrate the best movies of 1992, with 20 years’ hindsight aiding their selections. Call for event time and price. Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave., 686-6684, central-cinema.com. Sun., Jan. 22. VIEW & CHEW Place your dinner orders first at The Tin Table downstairs, then enjoy a free movie (screened on video). The Coen brothers’ 1998 stoner-noir The Big Lebowski is Raymond Chandler filtered through dirty bong water, where almost every line of dialogue is a hazy, hilarious non sequitur. My favorite is when accidental P.I. Jeff Bridges (the “Dude”) is ambushed in his tub by nihilists bearing a ferret. “Hey, nice marmot,” he greets them, with his usual unflustered amiability. Nothing rattles Bridges’ Dude, not a leering Tara Reid, not a lisping John Turturro, not a raving John Goodman, not a simpering Steve Buscemi, and not even shrieking performance artist Julianne Moore, who joins Bridges in a Busby Berkeley–style bowling fantasy that sums up the movie’s silly, sweet spirit. (R) BRIAN MILLER Century Ballroom & Cafe, 915 E. Pine St., 324-7263, century ballroom.com. Free. 8 p.m. Sun., Jan. 22.

Ongoing THE ARTIST This charming homage to old Hollywood

might be the first silent film many of its viewers have ever seen. Writer/director Michel Hazanavicius’ film opens in 1927, when preening matinee idol George Valentin (Jean Dujardin) is still the top draw at Kinograph Studios. He mentors Peppy Miller (Bérénice Bejo), a chorine with big ambitions. Borrowing heavily from A Star Is Born, The Artist tracks both Peppy’s ascent (through amusing montage) and George’s decline as he refuses to acknowledge synchronized sound as more than a passing fad. By 1932, Peppy’s attracting lines around the block for her latest, while George spends his afternoons passed out on a barroom floor, his Jack Russell terrier his sole remaining fan. Or so he thinks: Peppy has never forgotten him, and the film’s concluding act restores its buoyancy. (PG-13) Melissa Anderson Harvard Exit THEATERS: Admiral, 2343 California Ave. SW, 938-3456; Big Picture, 2505 First Ave., 256-0566; Big Picture Redmond, 7411 166th Ave. NE, 425-556-0566; Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave., 686-6684; Cinebarre, 6009 SW 244th St. (Mountlake Terrace)., 425-672-7501; Cinerama, 2100 Fourth Ave., 448-6680; Crest, 16505 Fifth Ave. NE, 781-5755; Egyptian, 801 E. Pine St., 781-5755; Grand Illusion, 1403 NE 50th St., 523-3935; Guild 45, 2115 N. 45th St., 781-5755; Harvard Exit, 807 E. Roy St., 781-5755; iPic Theaters, 16451 N.E. 74th St. (Redmond), 425-6365601; Kirkland Parkplace, 404 Park Place, 425-827-9000; Lincoln Square, 700 Bellevue Way N, 425-454-7400; Majestic Bay, 2044 NW Market St., 781-2229; Meridian, 1501 Seventh Ave., 223-9600; Metro, 4500 Ninth Ave. NE, 781-5755; Northwest Film Forum, 1515 12th Ave., 2675380; Oak Tree, 10006 Aurora Ave. N, 527-1748; Pacific Place, 600 Pine St., 888-262-4386; Seven Gables, 911 NE 50th St., 781-5755; SIFF Cinema at the Uptown, 511 Queen Anne Ave. N., 324-9996; SIFF Film Center, 305 Harrison St. (Seattle Center), 324-9996.; Thornton Place, 301 NE 103rd St., 517-9953; Varsity, 4329 University Way NE, 781-5755; Woodinville, 17640 Garden Way, 888-262-4386.

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food&drink»

Deli Double

Bill Goldberg missed his favorite suburban Detroit restaurant. So he cloned it in Belllevue.

BY HANNA RASKIN

JOSHUA HUSTON

black-and-white cookies here isn’t really a word in the to the baked-goods list, culinary lexicon for the restaurant and obsessively chatted genre exemplified by Goldbergs’ with customers. Attia Famous Delicatessen. But if the last month said he felt he Goldbergs’ crew was swapping licks instead of slinging pastrami, music writers wouldn’t have was “very, very close” to bringing the restaurant any trouble classifying the deli as a tribute act. in line with New York Tribute bands have probably been running standards. around since troubadours strummed lutes, but But what’s the measure the current craze flowered first in Australia, of a tribute restaurant? a country perpetually deleted from concertSo many of the qualities tour schedules by cash-strapped performers. which matter at most Since the Pretenders’ tour bus wasn’t suitable restaurants—creativity, for amphibious travel, Aussies settled for the vision, style, and moxie— Pretend Pretenders—along with Pink Fraud are meaningless in a restaurant that’s doing and Clouded House. its best to imitate something else. Grading a Around the same time, across the ocean restaurant on its fidelity to a borrowed concept in Seattle, attorney Bill Goldberg was feels bizarrely pedantic, like faulting a guitarist also grappling with frustrations rooted in in a Rolling Stones tribute band for not having remoteness. Goldberg had grown up eating fingers as nimble as Keith Richards’. Tribute in Jewish delis around Detroit, including the bands aren’t trying to outclass or compete with famed Stage, vintage 1962. Described by deli their musical heroes; they’re squarely focused scholar David Sax as “the ultimate Jewish on what makes their favorite music fun. rec room,” the Stage is the SUV of domestic corned-beef culture—huge, inefficient, and thoroughly suburban. Since Goldberg’s taste un is not on the menu at Goldbergs’. for pickles and sable hadn’t subsided when he I wish the restaurant would find moved west, he pestered the Stage’s founding a way to goof on matzoh balls or family to establish1 a Pacific lovingly tweak kreplach. Instead, BOD_GinAd_4.pdf 11/1/11Northwest 1:23 PM outpost. “I am a desperate man in search of the same its steady allegiance to the Stage way of delicious foods from the Stage Deli,” he told doing things—and its location in the Factoria owner Steve Goldberg (no relation). “Please Square Mall—makes the venue feel lifeless come to Seattle.” and constrained. Walls plastered with random And Steve did. In 2005, Bill and Steve New York memorabilia and cribbed attempts opened Goldbergs’ in Bellevue, tailoring every at humor, such as a poster of the “Jewish aspect of the operation to the specifications Zodiac,” thicken the already-stale air. It’s too of Bill Goldberg’s memories bad, because the kitchen isn’t and Steve Goldberg’s unskilled. While the flaccid, expertise. With a model-train seedless rye bread is tragic, » PRICE GUIDE LOX PLATTER ...............$16.99 builder’s dedication to precise many of the housemade deli HAMBURGER ................. $8.99 replication, the partners classics are so close to the KNISH ............................... $4.99 KISHKA ............................ $5.99 stocked their new restaurant best versions of the same that CHOPPED LIVER ........... $5.99 with lox from New York, nostalgic eaters can fill in the CABBAGE ROLLS .........$13.99 chocolate sauce from Detroit, flavor blanks. The critical and corned beef from the items which arrive via delivBronx. When customers fussed that the deli ery truck are smartly sourced: The bagels are reminded them of the East Coast only enough baked by Blazing Bagels, and Nation’s Best to make them miss it, the Goldbergs upped cures the corned beef. the ante by importing a chef/manager from Some of the blame for the enervated Second Avenue Deli in the East Village, which ambience may belong to Goldbergs’ guests. As is akin to Hell’s Belles coaxing Angus Young Attia discovered when he went cruising for into joining them for a gig at the Rocksport. a pointless argument about, say, the relative That chef, Khaled Attia, installed a barrel virtues of Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray and black bobbing with half-sours in Goldbergs’ cherry sodas, the restaurant’s clientele isn’t brightly lit retail section, added rugelach and entirely fluent in deli. Here I’m thinking of

The culinary equivalent of Hell’s Belles.

The menu claims the knishes are made daily, although my attempt to order one was rebuffed by a server who told me the kitchen had sold out its supply a few days ago. When I finally got to try the knish, I wasn’t sure what made it sell-out material: The dumpling was crisscrossed by too much dough and baked until it was dry as a desert riverbed. Fortunately, it was served with a boat of lumpy, gelatinous brown gravy stirring with ruddy beef flavors. I liked the gravy every time it showed up, but was especially fond of it when pressed into mounds of kishke, a dish traditionally made by cramming flour, fat, and spices into cow intestines. Most cooks now forgo the casing, instead molding the stuffing mix into a cylindrical shape. Kishke has a pumpkin pie–like texture and the earthy flavors of a rained-on hay bale, neither of which is likely to make it attractive to neophytes, but Goldbergs’ does a terrific job with it. The granular chopped liver is an equally good place to start. Sweet, tomato-drenched cabbage rolls, bloated with ground beef, were excellent. And yet I’m in no rush to return to Goldbergs’. Guardians of the deli tradition have lately assailed the mid-century deli for its emphasis on quantity over quality and unapologetic frump, and dining at the broken model’s knockoff is doubly depressing. E hraskin@seattleweeekly.com GOLDBERGS’ FAMOUS DELICATESSEN 3924 Factoria Blvd. S.E., Bellevue, 425-641-6622, goldbergsdeli.com. 7 a.m.–9 p.m. Sun.–Thurs., 7 a.m.–10 p.m. Fri.–Sat.

Seattle we ekly • Jan u ary 18– 24, 2012

the guy at the table next to mine who brought a takeout container of teriyaki to a family meal, since he apparently wouldn’t have liked any of the more than 200 items on the menu. There is plenty of room in a deli for eaters who weren’t weaned on borscht, but deli is a highly participatory, interactive cuisine. A tribute band can only succeed if its audience knows all the lyrics too. That doesn’t mean Goldbergs’ isn’t making any mistakes. I would never again order the bland, limp patty that anchors every burger preparation, or a scruffy sliced brisket that would have benefited from oodles of ketchup and two slices of bread. Furthermore, service is a mess. While I don’t know whether every table on a moderately busy night eventually received their orders, I can vouch that every table within earshot was the recipient of an apology precipitated by misdirected soups, forgotten side dishes, and food-temperature complaints. “Gosh darn it,” a stooped server told a nearby table after being informed of yet another oversight. On another night, with far fewer tables occupied, we abandoned dessert plans after our emptied entrée plates had sat unnoticed for more than 20 minutes. But if you’re craving deli, there’s much here that will do the trick. A lox platter showcases a satisfyingly fatty slab of Nova, beautifully arranged on a palette of pitted kalamata olives, carrot sticks, cucumbers, onions, tomatoes, and a halved hard-boiled egg. The breakfast menu, served all day, also includes a salty cornedbeef hash, italicized with crispy bits of grill residue. It’s served with a slice of toast the size of a woman’s size-6 shoe and a clump of hash browns which foreshadow Goldbergs’ oil-rich latkes, made from coarsely grated potatoes.

food&drink»

Featured Eats $ = $25 or less per person; $$ = $25–$40; $$$ = $40 and up. These capsule reviews are written by editorial staff andhave nothing to do with advertising. For hundreds more reviews, searchable by neighborhood and type of cuisine, go to seattleweekly.com/food.

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LITTLE CONEY 8003 Seaview Ave. N.W., 782-6598. The chili cheese fries or the fish and chips are always reliable and quickly served up at this Shilshole Bay Marina favorite. There’s limited seating but a fulfilling menu—take out a burger or grab a trademark swirl cone. $

SAM’S SUSHI BAR & GRILL 5506 22nd Ave. N.W.,

783-2262. There are some people who can tell really good sushi from that which is merely OK—but most people can’t. And that’s what makes Sam’s—which specializes in extremely affordable, perfectly edible sushi—such a brilliant concept, seeing as how heartier FOR MORE RESTAURANTS OR VISIT

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eaters will have to sneak in a snack later on anyway after not getting filled up on raw fish. Although eating a ton of rice on the side is always an option. $ SHIKU 5310 Ballard Ave. N.W., 588-2151. There are neighborhoods that count dry cleaners and gas stations as necessary amenities. In Ballard, the list of must-haves includes a cozy sushi den, a niche neatly filled by Shiku. The brick-walled lounge is fond of embossing its menu and website with adjectives like “inventive” and “innovative,” but there’s nothing really mind-blowing here. The quasi-izakaya’s won fans with its pert cocktails and fairly-priced spicy tuna rolls, not its omakase. No matter: The fish is fresh, the vibe is homey and the restaurant saves Ballardites the trouble of straying too far from the ‘hood. $$ SNOOSE JUNCTION PIZZERIA 2305 N.W. Market St., 789-2305. A better option than Zayda Buddy’s (unless you’re from Minnesota) and other late-night pizzerias in downtown Ballard, Snoose Junction is strategically located so that its slices can be used as sponges for strong drink. Major bonus points for pricing them in a manner affordable enough to cobble together an ala carte large for the price of an actual, homogeneouslytoppinged large pizza. $ ZAYDA BUDDY’S PIZZA 5405 Leary Ave. N.W., 783-7777. Instead of Tabasco or Sriracha, Zayda Buddy’s serves squeeze bottles of Secret Aardvark hot sauce, a Portland product with a distinct habanero tang. The menu could be classified as “enlightened cafeteria.” Think of the food you associated with a day of the week in elementary school: burgers, sloppy joes, Tater Tot

FirstCall

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The Watering Hole: Cozy Inn Tavern, 6215 Bothell Way N.E., 425-486-4321, KENMORE The Atmosphere: The Cozy Inn Tavern sits quietly on a busy strip of Highway 522 (aka Bothell Way), all but ignored by the cars and buses streaming past on the evening commute. Its neighbors include carpet shops, travel agents, hair salons, and fast-food restaurants. The lowslung wood building doesn’t promise much, but inside it’s surprisingly . . . cozy. Beer signs cover every inch of wall (and ceiling), and there is a deck overlooking the Burke-Gilman trail and the North Lake Marina. The after-work crowd is laid-back—some shoot pool for 50 cents a game, others play pull tabs and pinball, others relax in the padded pleather chairs and booths that fill the room. Occasionally someone will pony up for a few songs on the jukebox, but otherwise the room is filled with the light banter among patrons, as everyone sips their drinks. The Barkeep: Tina has been behind the bar here for 23 years. She knows most of the patrons, many of whom are regulars, and a lot about the history of Kenmore and “The Cozy,” where drinks have been served since 1937. The building dates back to the early ’30s, when it first housed Henry’s Hamburgers. The area was popular during Prohibition, when Seattle residents could take ferries up the lake or drive up the red brick road, paved in 1913. More than 30 bars, clubs, and restaurants filled the area, many serving illegal alcohol. Authorities generally turned a blind eye to these establishments, and even if a bust was attempted, booze could be dumped in the lake or hidden if boats were seen approaching. Just down the road, below an old building, a tunnel was found that continued underneath the highway. There’s even a hidden door in a compressor room underneath The Cozy, but Tina said it’s too

Tina won’t descend to the scary compressor room.

scary down there for further exploration. The Drink: The Cozy is a tavern, so beer and wine are your only options. That isn’t a bad thing, since taps include local micros like Boundary Bay IPA in addition to dive-bar favorites such as PBR. Wine is surprisingly popular, according to Tina. It’s just Charles Shaw by the glass, but splits of Cava are available. I put myself in Tina’s hands, but alluded to my craving for a beer. She grabbed a frosty pint glass from the chill chest and poured me a Jubelale, the annual winter beer from Deschutes Brewery in Bend, Oregon. I asked Tina why she chose that particular beer, and she replied that it just seemed right on a dark, stormy night. “It’s cozy,” she said. Indeed. The Verdict: For an after-work pint or two, The Cozy is all a girl could ask for in a tavern. Happy hour (Mon.–Fri., 3–7 p.m.) features pints for $3, and food options are limited to landjäger, beer nuts, and select sandwiches, pizzas, and snacks, most of which are warmed in the toaster oven or microwave. But pitchers are $9 to $12, which makes a trip to this bar in the former drinking capital of the Seattle area a worthwhile trip. E food@seattleweekly.com

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food&drink» casseroles. Substitute real ingredients instead of glop from No. 10 cans, and you’ve got a lock on the chefs’ style. But if the sauce on the signature thin-crust pizzas is bland and the beer cheese soup is under-seasoned, nobody at this good-natured beer joint is complaining. So long as hockey is on the television and the Leinenkugel’s flowing, it doesn’t much matter whether the hot dish is short on cream of mushroom soup: After all, there’s nothing Secret Aardvark can’t fix. $

BELLTOWN

SPUR GASTROPUB 113 Blanchard St., 728-6706. The

problem with so many of today’s flailing attempts at modernist cuisine and molecular gastronomy is that, in their breathless fascination with all the goop, gear, and gadgetry involved in turning cheese into pasta and fish into foam, many chefs forget that they’re still being paid to make people dinner. That means that the food itself still has to be a recognizable part of the “dining experience” and not get completely lost amid the chemicals and lasers. This, then, is the strength of Spur—a kitchen where a grounding in locality, seasonality, and recognizable ingredients (hedgehog mushrooms, salmon, potatoes, leeks, bacon) balances the impulse toward abstract gastronomic modernism, always elevating the trout above the almond foam and the sockeye salmon and house-made mascarpone above pure gimmickry. Because Spur’s crew can manage this (at prices considerably lower than those at many of the country’s other temples of molecular gastronomy), dinner here can be an event and an eye-opening indulgence without ever slipping over the line into a piece of egotistical performance art staged by cooks solely for their own enjoyment. $$$ TILIKUM PLACE CAFÉ 407 Cedar St., 282-4830. Tilikum Place is an unexpectedly successful hybrid between an all-day diner and a erudite little bistro. During the day, Chef Ba Culbert serves nostalgic classics like baked beans on toast and airy Dutch babies made to order in cast-iron pans. The day’s sweet option may be laden with

roasted apple slices and walnuts; the savory, with tendrils of duck confit. Dusk shutters the Café’s wideopen atmosphere, transforming it into an intimate hideaway. Now’s the time to order the specials of the day, which can be anything from scallops set atop two purees, yam wasabi and spinach, or a tender haunch of rabbit with spinach-mushroom dumpling cakes. $-$$

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Seattleites have eaten Hot Mama’s when sober enough to give the Pine Street corner store its due. If there’s any pizzeria in town that delivers the pizza by the slice, it’s Hot Mama’s, where the thin-crust pies are only at the best when they’re reheated (something about the double-cooking gives the floury crusts an extra snap). They’re so good that no one minds the grease that drips onto their plates, covering the paper with orange dots. The late-night eavesdropping is priceless. $ IN THE BOWL 1554 E. Olive Way, 568-2343. To eat at In The Bowl is to be overwhelmed by the menu. There’s also the tricky internal debate you’ll likely have over whether or not to pony up extra cash for the faux duck. Does it actually taste like duck? Being a vegetarian, do you even know what duck is supposed to taste like? How will it improve your spicy eggplant and udon noodle stir-fry? Why would you pay more for something that is just aspiring to be meat? If this happens, relax and visit the bathroom. One of Seattle’s finest, the restroom at this venerable Capitol Hill vegetarian noodle house is as soothing as a meditation hall in a Buddhist monastery, only it’s painted Technicolor blue. But above all, remember that meat substitutes are not why you’re here. You’ve come to pick from a vast selection of cheap stir-fry options, each of which can be altered spicinesswise depending on your tolerance for feeling as if your insides are being slow-cooked. Just in case the fire down below gets too intense, a small dessert of rice pudding and milk accompanies every order. $

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Seattle we ekly • Jan u ary 18– 24, 2012

When Bellingham fisherman Jeremy Brown started offering tuna-canning classes in his kitchen, he could pick up the pressure cookers needed to safely process fish at garage sales for about $5 apiece. Ten years later, he says, “You better be there bright and early, and be ready to bid it up.” Sales of home-canning products have jumped 35 percent over the past three years, earning the hobby what seems like a permanent spot on food-trend lists. But many amateur canners willing to experiment with pickles and jams shy away from lowacid foods such as tuna, which tend to provoke fears about deadly contamination incidents and exploding pressure cookers. Slow Food Seattle co-chair Jennifer Johnson thinks that’s why a tuna-canning class led by Brown is the most popular event on the organization’s calendar. “It’s not something that people do at home,” Johnson says. “You don’t want to kill yourself.” Nearly 100 Slow Food members and friends crowded into Gourmondo Catering’s South Seattle kitchen on January 8 to clean, slice, jar, and preserve 1,000 pounds of albacore tuna caught 50 miles off the Columbia River. Although most participants were first-timers, the group included a few returning canners anxious to replenish their tuna supply. “I gave it away as gifts, and people were like, ‘Can I have more?’,” Brook Boeskov said. “It’s so good.” The flavor gulf between commercially available

canned tuna and tuna canned by hand is among the widest confronted by grocery shoppers. While locavores may prefer farmstead cheeses and small-batch soda pops, it’s hard to argue that Cabot Sharp Cheddar and Coca-Cola aren’t tasty. Tuna is different, because producers rely on processing methods which sap the fish of its natural flavors. According to Brown, “They cook the fish whole, in steam; break it down; and cook it a second time.” Late-stage broth additions can’t amend the oil loss: Most home cooks don’t serve canned tuna without first subjecting it to a slathering of mayo or heavy dousing of creamof-mushroom soup. When tuna is raw-packed, the fish retains its oceanic integrity, although Brown ordered canners on slicing duty to trim dark spots from the frozen tuna steaks. (“Too strong,” he explained, suggesting cat owners save the scraps.) Once preserved, the tuna can be used in salads or vitello tonnato. “You don’t have to do much to it,” Boeskov says. “You can pour the whole jar over pasta.” Under Brown’s guidance, canning students salted and olive-oiled the tuna. Before sealing each jar, they added a “secret ingredient”—a carrot—to counterbalance acidity. Brown says his recipe was sometimes questioned back when salt and fat were eaters’ biggest worries. “You could argue the oil is just adding fat, but it adds to the mouthfeel,” Brown says. “It’s worth it.” E

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Filthy Livin’

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estern Haunts practices at the top of a steep flight of outdoor stairs, above a 1-800-GOT-JUNK building, in front of a parking lot of abandoned cars on a barren stretch of Highway 99 just south of the Aurora Bridge. “When [the landlord] showed us the room, there was a big hole the previous tenant had knocked out for a rave party,” bassist Derrick Wright said while motioning toward a door that separates the main practice room from a control room with a mixer and other recording equipment.

“During the time we were recording the first record, the people living next door were cooking meth and having sex.” Upon moving in, the band painted the graffiti-covered walls and retrofitted the room for recording. The unheated room smells faintly of mildew, and on this particular December afternoon is freezing cold—the band is gathered around a space heater in the control room, and their breath hangs in the air as they talk. From the pink walls to the grimy plywood floors, it isn’t hard to imagine the room being inhabited by a down-and-out bunch of punk rockers. But punks the members of Western Haunts are not. This rough, hardscrabble setting starkly contrasts with Western Haunts’ sound.

BY ANDREW GOSPE The band’s lush blend of folk, dream-pop, and shoegaze is characterized by layers of reverb-heavy guitar and Jake Witt’s soaring tenor, remarkably similar to the androgynous howl of Beach House’s Victoria Legrand. Paradoxically, it’s a sound that might have never developed without the creative freedom the hybrid practice space/recording studio offers. “We talk a lot about our practice space,” affirms Wright, “but it defines a lot of who we are.” Last January’s Shed Your Summer Shell and October’s exceptional Utøya EP were both recorded in the room off Aurora, and the latter nicely underscores Wright’s point. The band finished writing the EP’s three songs during the recording process, and it shows. Utøya’s intricate layers of guitar and keyboard testify to the band’s attention to detail, but are also indicative of the practice space’s advantage: freedom from the time and financial constraints of traditional studios, which allows Western Haunts to fine-tune its sound in a way many new bands can’t. Still, the current situation hasn’t been without its pitfalls. “During the time we were recording the first record, the people living next door were cooking meth and having sex,” said Witt. It’s difficult to tell whether he’s being facetious. Witt, an Ohio native, met Wright, keyboardist Michel DeBauge, and guitarist Nathan Hamlett through a Craigslist ad in the fall of 2009, intending to play drums in their already formed band. When material from silOHs, Witt’s solo project, led to show opportunities and KEXP airplay, the group

changed its name to Western Haunts, added Witt’s brother Nathan as a drummer, and fleshed out the silOHs material into full-band arrangements. Right away, the newly formed band added a new dimension to Witt’s material. “I grew up listening to a lot of shoegaze music,” he said, “so I love the layers and layers of sound, and these dudes are great at building that wall.” Despite the band’s increasingly collaborative nature, Witt was responsible for Utøya’s thematic focus. The EP was named after the island near Oslo, Norway, where Anders Behring Breivik killed 69 people at a summer camp last July. The tragedy was highly personal for Witt, who has spent time in the country and whose wife is Norwegian. “When that happened, it hit me pretty hard,” he said. “It hit my wife really hard, because she was so far away from it and her family was right in the middle of it, experiencing it. So we just watched it on TV, and seeing the pictures flooding in was really surreal.” In the coming months, Western Haunts plans to record material for a follow-up EP. If Utøya’s expansiveness and nuances are any indication, the new songs will represent a band growing into its sound—and its practice space—which is among the most interesting in town. E music@seattleweekly.com WESTERN HAUNTS With Friends & Family, Jenny Invert. Chop Suey, 1325 E. Madison St., 324-8005, chopsuey.com. $7 adv. 21 and over. 8 p.m. Fri., Jan. 20.

Seattle we ekly • Jan u ary 18– 24, 2012

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music»Reverb »COLUMN

Think Before You Tweet

found out last week that one of my all-time favorite bands was getting back together to do some gigs later this year. Yes, the great Swedish punk band Refused, after 14 years apart, are seemingly playing a handful of American and European festival gigs this spring. I never got to see them in the ’90s, so I am particularly pleased with this development. I haven’t been tweeting that much as of late—just little things here and there. But in my enthusiasm regarding this Refused news, I tweeted “Refused reunion? Now we are talking!” Think before you tweet. I played a show at L.A.’s House of Blues a couple of days later with the original formation of Velvet Revolver, which includes lead singer Scott Weiland. It is a long story, really, but the crux of it is that we are playing a benefit, the proceeds going directly to a friend’s wife and her two children. When it comes to the welfare of kids, old grudges or whatever are put aside. But the fact is that the re-formation of the five of us has got a lot of people talking. Good. Just as long as they buy tickets to this show, right? Back to the tweet: “Refused reunion? Now we are talking!” It looks a little different now, eh? Think before you tweet. I’ve written here before about GN’R being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in

»THROUGH @ 2

Fresh Fish Ben Fisher, aka “that guy who’s at the Ballard market every Sunday.”

JOSEPH TRAINA

THE SITUATION I’m spending the evening with young folk singer Ben Fisher at Aster Coffee Lounge in Ballard, just blocks away from Fisher’s most frequently played venue, the Sunday Ballard Farmers Market. Fisher’s been busking there for six years, ever since he moved here from Atlanta as a high-school freshman. Fisher’s voice is distinctly round, confident, and booming, just right for a street singer looking for attention. “Yeah, and the very wrong voice for the other buskers who have to stay way the hell away,” he laughs.

April. This event, too, has given rise to speculation and gossip. “Refused reunion? Now we are talking!” Think before you tweet. After I made my little Refused remark on the Twitter, my phone gadget just kept blinking. Incessantly. It turns out that a whole bunch of people thought I was tweeting about VR or GN’R. Nope. Just tweetin’ about a little Swedish punk-rock band that I thought a whole lot more people knew something about. Oops . . . I think I will use terms like “re-formation” or “getting back together to play some shows” from here on out if and when I tweet. That other word just causes too much of a ruckus. I could be the cool guy and just leave my tweet where it sat, leaving a whole bunch of people wondering if I was back on the sauce again, but I have this column, and thought I could discuss this whole thing in public . . . with all of you. Until next time, I will think before I tweet. If you all get a chance, get a record called The Shape of Punk to Come by a band called Refused. We can tweet about it. E askduff@seattleweekly.com

Duff McKagan is the founding bassist for Guns N’ Roses and the leader of Seattle’s Loaded. His column runs every Thursday on seattleweekly.com/reverb. His memoir, It’s So Easy (Simon & Schuster), is out now.

HOW HE GOT HERE Fisher’s in his third year at UW, where he’s studying Arabic. What’s he hoping to do with a degree in Arabic? “Nothing, hopefully!” he says. “I want the music to work out.” It did for Glen Hansard, the Academy Award–winning folksinger of The Swell Season, who got his start busking on the streets of Dublin as a teenager. And for now, the money’s not bad: On a good day, Fisher can pull $150 an hour at the market. SHOP TALK At the market, Fisher plays mostly upbeat covers of Townes Van Zandt, Loretta Lynn, and his favorite, Bob Dylan, but his own songs are slower, easier-going. Last year he finished a full-length called Heavy Boots & Underwoods; Underwood refers to the typewriter brand, and “heavy boots” comes from the Jonathan Safran Foer novel Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. “The kid is supposedly autistic, and every time he’s depressed about something he calls it ‘heavy boots,’ ” Fisher explains. “I just love the ring of that!” BTW: “Turns out I like to write about fish a lot,” says Fisher. To wit, he’s got a song called “Cast Your Line,” and there’s a salmon on the cover of Heavy Boots. “It’s kind of weird because you always hear ‘Write about what you know,’ and I know nothing about fishing.” E ethompson@seattleweekly.com BEN FISHER With Nick Drummond & Tyler Carson, Taylor Bolibol. Fremont Abbey Arts Center, 4272 Fremont Ave. N., 414-8325. $5–$7. All ages. 7 p.m. Thurs., Jan. 19.

Seattle we ekly • Jan u ary 18– 24, 2012

BY ERIN K. THOMPSON

BY DUFF MCKAGAN

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PERSONAL PUBLICITY

CURT KRAUSE • KELLEE BRADLEY

SW: What music have you been listening to today? Did you like it? Ross: I went hiking today and listened to The Who. It helped me get up the mountain. What’s your preferred method for listening to music (iPod, car, home stereo, etc.)? Out of a beautiful woman’s mouth. When was the last time you heard “Stairway to Heaven”? Did you turn it off? Last night at The Comedy Store on the Sunset Strip. Jesus Christ was playing tambourine. I’m not making this up. Do you play an instrument? I just started playing guitar again. In fact, I am bringing an exact replica of the Fender Stratocaster I played in high school and college on tour with me right now. The original was stolen off the baggage claim at Newark Airport shortly after my dad passed away. I was in college at the time and so devastated that I stopped playing completely. Recently my pal, guitarist John Mayer, introduced me to his pal, Mike Ellred, who builds guitars for Fender. He asked me to find pictures of my old Strat. Then two months later a guitar case showed up at my front door with a note from Mike that said “Pretend I beat up the baggage handlers at the airport.” I was very touched and decided that sitting on a stand in my living room was no life for a guitar— so I’ll be bringing it onstage with me during this “Jeff Ross Roasts America Tour” even though I barely know how to play it.

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t of (mo stly) static q uestion s we po to folks se outside the mu industr sic y. The q uestion are all a s nswere d via e-mail.

Do you still listen to anything you were listening to in high school? If so, what? I reckon I’ll always listen to The Clash, the Ramones, Bob Dylan, Public Enemy, and Springsteen. Every now and then something new seeps into my brain, but those were my high-school faves. I also used to have a mohawk and wear combat boots. What was the first band/artist you saw in concert? KISS at Madison Square Garden. My mom was ill so my Aunt Carole took my sister Robyn (currently a Bainbridge Island resident) and I on the bus from Jersey to NYC to see the show. She made us leave during the encores so we could catch the last bus. I still have the ticket stub. Would you see them again? Yes. And I have. I even roasted Gene Simmons

The king of the celebrity roast, shown offering a toast.

once. I said, “Gene Simmons is such an asshole, his own asshole changed its name to Murray.” What was the last band/artist you saw in concert? Worth your time? I saw Mick Jones with Big Audio Dynamite recently. Their show was really interesting and not a retro experience at all. I highly recommend them. When you sing karaoke, what’s your go-to number? “Maybe This Time” from the Broadway musical Cabaret. It makes women melt. Trust me on this one. How do you feel about ABBA? ABBA sucks. Except for “Dancing Queen.” I once walked out of the Broadway show Mamma Mia at intermission to go see the comic Brian Regan perform next door. What is the last song you want to hear before you die? “Piano Man” by Billy Joel. My mom’s favorite. Please share a favorite musical moment/story from your past. My grandfather was a great sax player. His stage name was Herb Larson, and he released some rock/jazz albums back in the day. I listened to them recently, and regret not knowing him better. But I do remember him playing “Won’t You Come Home, Bill Bailey” at my bar mitzvah. That was fun. Second-to-last question: Is there a more underrated film than Billy Madison? Never saw it. Don’t see a lot of comedies. That’s like going to work for me. I go see drama if I want a break. I recently loved Patton Oswalt in Young Adult. Last question: If you were to roast President Obama, where would you start? Probably with his giant dick. E ckornelis@seattleweekly.com JEFF ROSS ROASTS AMERICA Neptune, 1303 N.E. 45th St., 877-784-4849, stgpresents.org. $25. All ages. 7:30 p.m. Thurs., Jan. 19.

Punk in Drublic Fat Mike sizes up the NOFX classic nearly 20 years after its release. BY DAVE LAKE Humorous, political, and staunchly independent, NOFX are one of the great punk-rock bands of all time. They were at the forefront of the ’90s punk-rock wave that made rock stars out of Green Day, The Offspring, and Rancid, and you’d be hard-pressed to find a list of important punk records that didn’t include the band’s seminal 1994 release Punk in Drublic, which managed to be certified gold without the support of MTV or radio. As the band gears up for next week’s King Cat Theater show, we chatted with their alwaysoutspoken ringleader, Fat Mike, to talk about the record and why people seem to like it so much. SW: Punk in Drublic is a great title. Do you always have a list of titles floating around? Fat Mike: I’m constantly writing down album titles. I came up with one a couple of weeks ago, but I don’t really like it. It shows an old man using a walker, and it’s called Punk Walker. When we came up with Coaster, we were like, “Yes, this is perfect.” The album is certified gold. Where is the plaque hanging? We have a bunch of them. They only cost, like, $130 to get made, so we had, like, 40 or 50 of them made. I have one in my Vegas house. I’ve got one in my dungeon. I gave one to my mom. Is that something you’re proud of? A lot of bands got gold and platinum records in the ’90s. But I think it’s pretty cool that that record went gold and actually never hit the Billboard charts. We have one but the Ramones don’t, so that’s pretty interesting. Does it still sell better than some of your more recent albums? It sells better than everything until a new record comes out. What is it about the record that people seem to identify so strongly with? “Linoleum” seems to be everyone’s favorite song. If you go to YouTube, there’s, like, 20 bands that cover it, so that has something to do with it. I just think that record is really highenergy, and it strikes some chords that way. I prefer So Long and Thanks for All the Shoes more, and maybe even War on Errorism. Do other musicians tell you that that record influenced them more than any of the other records in your catalog? Other musicians? No. Fletcher from Pennywise told me that Wolves in Wolves’ Clothing was his favorite, which I think is our most underrated album. Punk in Drublic is like the public’s favorite. E music@seattleweekly.com NOFX With Poison Idea, Old Man Markley, Rat City Ruckus. King Cat Theater, 2130 Sixth Ave., 448-2829, kingcattheater.com. $25 adv./ $27 DOS. All ages. 7:30 p.m. Tues., Jan. 24.

Seattle we ekly • Jan u ary 18– 24, 2012

music»TheShortList Dirk Powell Band THURSDAY, JANUARY 19

dinner & show

FRI/JANUARY 20 • 7:30PM & 10PM

left hand smoke pasatempo rebetika

MON/JANUARY 23 • 7:30PM A CHINESE NEW YEAR’S CONCERT

geoffrey castle and lucy wu

Strings Music Shop, 3406 Fremont Ave. N., 634-1662. 7:30 p.m. $23. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT

Youth Lagoon THURSDAY, JANUARY 19

Idaho’s Youth Lagoon, the nom de plume of 22-year-old Trevor Powers, was birthed in the winter of 2010, when Powers, on holiday from Boise State, wrote a series of songs in his bedroom. “July” surfaced online in early 2011; it starts modestly with steady organ tones but

EDITOR’S PICK

TUE/JANUARY 24 • 7:30PM

johnny a

jessie baylin

Seattle weekly • Janu ary 18– 24, 2 012

n ex t • 1 /2 7 s u z a n n e westenhoefer • 1/28 the big gig • 1/29 lisa koch birthday bash! • 2/1 teitur w/ aunt martha • 2/3 locarno • 2/4 “soul salvation” ruthie foster&paulthorn•2/5johncruz

• 1/18 kane mathis • 1/19 the iou’s • 1/20 the djangomatics / roots rock fridays w/ selecta’s element & matsui • 1/21 doug cassell band • 1/22 the schwa • 1/25 charles mack TO ENSURE THE BEST EXPERIENCE

PLEASE ARRIVE EARLY DOORS OPEN 1.5 HOURS PRIOR TO FIRST SHOW ALL-AGES (BEFORE 9:30PM)

thetripledoor.net 216 UNION STREET, SEATTLE 206.838.4333

ALEXANDER UHRICH

WED/JANUARY 25 • 7:30PM

w/ the watson twins

COURTESY OF THE ARTIST

SAT/JANUARY 21 • 7:30PM

Appalachian-born multi-instrumentalist Dirk Powell is folk royalty in most mountain-music circles, and his pedigree runs deep. Since learning banjo and fiddle from his grandfather, he’s shared the stage with Joan Baez, recorded and performed with Loretta Lynn, scored numerous documentaries, consulted with film directors from Ang Lee to Anthony Minghella (for 2003’s Cold Mountain, in which he also acted), and organized countless bands and groups dedicated to preserving and continuing traditional American music. On the intimate stage at Dusty Strings, accompanied by members of Portland’s old-time-revival Foghorn Stringband, this show is shaping up to be an unforgettable hootenanny. Dusty

PANGEA FRIDAY, JANUARY 20

This L.A. garage-punk quartet creates the sort of sloppy, squalling rock tunes that fans of Wavves or Ty Segall would appreciate. How do they stand out among their contemporaries? The froggy-throated lead singer and his crass lyrics are incongruously mashed on top of nimble surf-rock guitar lines and harmonizing, doo-wopping backup vocals, resulting in something strangely and delightfully charming—kind of like the way you might find a snotty neighborhood troublemaker to be a little cute. There’s a great video on Vimeo of Pangea at the Silverlake comic-book store Secret Headquarters playing “Night of the Living Dummy” on their duct-taped, PBR-stickered guitars. The song is from last fall’s Living Dummy, released on tape and vinyl by California cassette kings Burger Records, which includes such masculinely awkward tracks as “Make Me Feel Weird” and “Too Drunk to Come.” With Mean Jeans, Hole in My Head, Snuggle. JewelBox/ Rendezvous, 2322 Second Ave., 441-5823. 10 p.m. $7. ERIN K. THOMPSON

eventually swells into Powers’ plaintive cries: “Explosions pillaging the night/From the fireworks on the Fourth of July/It’s just my lady, our friends, and I/Smoking cigars and yelling at cars as they drive by.” “Afternoon,” which with “July” can be found on Youth Lagoon’s debut, The Year of Hibernation, is composed of a magical whistle riff, twisting guitar lines, and light clapping, ending with Powers sighing some wordless melodies. He has an extraordinary talent for poetically capturing youth’s crystalline moments, but his music is so expressive that sometimes he doesn’t even need lyrics to convey his swelling emotions. With Pure Bathing Culture. Neumos, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9442. 8 p.m. $12. ERIN K. THOMPSON

Fitz & the Tantrums FRIDAY, JANUARY 20–SATURDAY, JANUARY 21

“Do you have soul?” “That all depends . . . ” Seattle is certainly in step with America’s renewed appetite for the stuff these days— with even a few revivalists of our own in acts like Allen Stone and Pickwick—but how do you tell the real, greasy soul from the rotely formalist fluff? It may seem like a rockist question of authenticity, but in a genre whose very name connotes deep-down realness—the soul, along with the body and the mind, being a required, fundamental article of existence— it’s worth asking. L.A.’s Fitz and the Tantrums hit every note and pose perfectly; theirs is a big, brassy, refreshingly lighthearted soul, but they sacrifice a certain amount of that sticky icky for slick glitz and Vegas-revue showmanship. Whether that satisfies your inner Rob Gordon is up to you. With Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr., American Tomahawk. Showbox at the Market, 1426 First Ave., 628-3151. 7:30 p.m. both nights. Friday: $20 adv./$25 DOS, all ages. Saturday: sold out, 21 and over. ERIC GRANDY

Mark McGuire SATURDAY, JANUARY 21

Unlike Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. (see above), Com Truise, or Hype Williams, Mark McGuire isn’t part of the tired recent trend of band names wanly punning on wellknown celebrities. Rather, that’s actually his given name (no relation to the baseballer),

Boise boy star Youth Lagoon.

although he might be better known as a member of Cleveland’s multifaceted electronic outfit Emeralds. In his solo work, McGuire performs on guitar and loop stations, composing instrumental reveries that can stretch well into double-digit minutes as they gradually accrete and unfurl. Tonight, he plays the gallery Cairo alongside Spencer Clark and a rare collaborative set by local electronic duo USF and ambient droner Secret Colors, the latter of which should be especially complimentary. Cairo, 507 E. Mercer St. 8 p.m. $5. All ages. ERIC GRANDY

Metalesque SATURDAY, JANUARY 21

We could sit here all day and discuss the artistic merit of rebel performance-art marching band Titanium Sporkestra; the spot-on hair of Sabbath tribute band Bastard of Reality; the awesome novelty of Skelator’s wailing retro vocals; and the simple loudness of Death Mountain Rotor Cloud—or we could talk about the merit of strategically clad ladies and the fact that nipple tassels make any bizarre retro-rock/marching-band lineup worth 10 bucks. Columbia City Theater, 4916 Rainier Ave. S., 722-3009. 9 p.m. $10. TODD HAMM

Gold Wolf Galaxy TUESDAY, JANUARY 24

Gold Wolf Galaxy are a spanking-new act— only five shows into their career—who fuse electronic music and a metal ethos in edgy, deep dance tracks they like to describe as “Blondie jamming with Mastodon.” Unlike your typical production-heavy duo, the boys set up decks with a live bass line, which adds a little pizzazz and showmanship to the electro format. Their latest single, “I Heart NY,” is an interesting blend of sexy disco and naughty edge that begs multiple listens. Although technically newbies, these kids have already succeeded in making music which doesn’t sound like anything else in Seattle right now. With Kings, Sunbears! Sunset Tavern, 5433 Ballard Ave. N.W., 784-4880. 9:30 p.m. $6. MA’CHELL DUMA LAVASSAR

tractor www.tractortavern.com

5213 BALLARD AVE. NW • 789-3599

WED, 1/18 8PM ~ $6 MELODIC INDIE ROCK

SAT, 1/21 9:30PM ~ $10 CANADIAN GARAGE-ROCKERS

FAINTLY LOWLANDS

THE PACK A.D.

THUR, 1/19 8PM ~ $12ADV/$15DOS THE TRACTOR & 91.3 KBCS PRESENT HARMONIZING, MINIMALIST DUO

MON, 1/23 7:30PM ~ $6

MOYA

A LB U R E LE A SM SHOW E

HOBOSEXUAL WATCH IT SPARKLE

MONDAY SQUARE DANCE FEAT. MUSIC BY

THE MILK CARTON KIDS

THE BRENDAN HINES

THE TALLBOYS HELLACIOUS SQUARE DANCING STARTS AT 8 PM!

TUES, 1/24 9PM ~ $10

FRI, 1/20 9:30PM ~ $12ADV/$15DOS FUNKY GROOVES AND HOT BEATS

THE PIMPS OF JOYTIME

BOBBY PREVITE VS. BANDALABRA TRIO FEAT.

THE STAXX BROTHERS

BOBBY PREVITE - DRUMS EVAN FLORY-BARNES - BASS ANDY COE - GUITAR SKERIK - SAXOPHONE

SAT, 1/21 5PM ~ $15 EARLY SHOW ~ WESTERN SWING & CLASSIC COUNTRY

WED, 1/25 8PM ~ $6 BLUES-DRIVEN INDIE FOLK

WYLIE AND THE WILD WEST CD R E LE A S SE AT ED S H O W E SH OW

A LB U R E LE A SM TO U R E

TOM EDDY WHITING TENNIS LEARNING TEAM

TIMES LISTED ARE SHOW TIMES. DOORS OPEN 30-60 MINUTES BEFORE

P U &COMING:

1/26 GRAVELROAD, KINSKI, ANGELO SPENCER ET LES HAUTS SOMMETS 1/27 THE MALDIVES, THE HORDE AND THE HAREM, ELK AND BOAR 1/28 REWIND 1/31 THE FAMILY CREST, VALLEY FAIR, BRITE LINES 1/29 benefit concert in support of FINN MacGINTY with music by LEO MacNAMARA & AURORA BURD, PAUL MOONEY & LAURA PLOUDRE, THE RAYBONE EXPERIENCE and TOM CREEGAN 2/1 GRAVEYARD, RADIO MOSCOW, SANDRIDER 2/2 NADA SURF, SAY HI (solo) sold out! 2/3 LEGENDARY OAKS, SMOKEY BRIGHTS, THE WASHOVER FANS 2/4 GRAND HALLWAY, LAURA GIBSON, THE DEVIL WHALE 2/8 PIPSISEWAH, THE CHASERS, THE MAGIC MIRRORS 2/9 BLVD PARK, NETTLE HONEY 2/10 Square Peg presents MATTHEW GOOD ~ solo acoustic tour, EMILY GREENE 2/11 Thrasher presents Where’s The Band Tour feat. CHRIS CONLEY (of Saves The Day), MATT PRYOR (of The Get Up Kids), ANTHONY RANERI (of Bayside), ACE ENDERS (of The Early November), EVAN WEISS (of Into It. Over It.)

Seattle we ekly • Jan u ary 18– 24, 2012

$7 ALL YOU CAN EAT BRUNCH

CONCERT SERIES

and $2.50 Budweisers and Bud Lites. FRI JAN 27 • MARKET 8PM DOORS • 21+

Kick off is at 3:30 PM, so get here early for a good seat!

Saturdays

Special Events SAT JAN 28 • SODO 8PM DOORS • ALL AGES

with FILASTINE

3rd Saturday of the month B.E.N.T. Drag Show @ 9 PM Drag Kings and Queens Drink specials all night

THU FEB 16 • MARKET 7:30PM DOORS • ALL AGES

DJ Mike Yoda Spinning at 9 PM $5 Cover for Drag Shows THU FEB 16 SODO

with ROBERT FRANCIS

6PM DOORS • ALL AGES

JUST ADDED SAT MAR 10 • MARKET 8PM DOORS • ALL AGES

WOODY GUTHRIE PROJECTfeat. JAY FARRAR, WILL JOHNSON, ANDERS PARKER, and YIM YAMES with. SARAH JAFFE

TUE MAR 20 • MARKET 7PM DOORS • 21+

ON SALE NOW!

Seattle weekly • Janu ary 18– 24, 2 012

SAT APR 7 • MARKET 7PM DOORS • ALL AGES

UNCLE KRACKER SONIA LEIGH, TY STONE feat.

DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS

ON SALE NOW!

WED APR 11 • MARKET 7PM DOORS ALL AGES

THE TIME CAPSULE TOUR ON SALE NOW!

THOMAS DOBLY AARON JONAH LEWIS, feat.

BEN BELCHER

ON SALE NOW!

UP AND COMING: THEORY OF A DEADMAN | JAN 22 | MARKET • NO GROUND AND ATOMIC OUTLAWS | JAN 27 | SODO LOUNGE • HEROES & POETS AND JAKE MARSH TRIO | JAN 28 | MARKET •

FRI JAN 20 • ALL AGES SAT JAN 21 • 21+

EXCISION | FEB 2 | SODO • THE DUSTY 45s | FEB 3 | MARKET • IN FLAMES | FEB 3 | SODO • FLOWMOTION IS THE TRUE SPOKES | FEB 4 | MARKET • THE CLASSIC CRIME AND MONETA | FEB 10 | MARKET

• MUTEMATH | FEB 10 | SODO • ICED EARTH AND SYMPHONY X | FEB 15 | MARKET • PUSAFEST 2012 FEAT. THE PRESIDENTS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA | FEB 17-19 | MARKET • BOMBAY BICYCLE

CLUB | FEB 18 | THE CROCODILE

SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET 1426 1ST AVENUE SHOWBOX SODO 1700 1ST AVENUE S. SHOWBOXONLINE.COM

Vibe Bar and Grill 226 1st Ave S - Kent www.thevibebarandgrill.com

seven»nights

Concerts This Week THURSDAY, JAN. 19 JAKE SHIMABUKURO: 7:30 p.m.,

$35-$40. Edmonds Center for the Arts, 410 Fourth Ave. N., Edmonds, 425-275-9595.

SUNDAY, JAN. 22

DAVID GARRETT: All ages., 7 p.m.,

$36.50-$62. Paramount Theatre, 911 Pine St., Seattle, 877-784-4849.

Club Listings Wednesday 18 ROCK/POP/INDIE COMET TAVERN: 922 E. Pike St.,

RUS ANSON

Seattle, 322-9272. Calico Queen, with Little Hearts, Transient Songs, Radioshark., 9 p.m., $5. FUNHOUSE: 206 Fifth Ave. N., Seattle, 374-8400. Dragstrip Riot, with Shit Gets Smashed, Piston Ready, Dying Off., 9:30 p.m., $5. STUDIO SEVEN: 110 S. Horton St., Seattle, 286-1312. Wednesday 13, with Aiden, Modernday Escape, Amsterdam, From The Sea All ages., 6 p.m., $15 adv./$17 DOS; Wednesday 13, with Aiden, Modern Day Escape, Amsterdam, From The Sea All ages., 6 p.m., $15 adv./ $17 DOS. SUNSET TAVERN: 5433 Ballard Ave. N.W., Seattle, 784-4880. Dark State Lines, with Buxter Hoot’n, Sunday Evening Whiskey Club., 9:30 p.m., $6.

JAZZ/BLUES

DIMITRIOU’S JAZZ ALLEY: 2033 Sixth Ave., Seattle,

441-9729. Chris Minh Doky & The Nomads, with Dave Weckl., 7:30 p.m., $20.50.

AFROPOP/REGGAE/WORLD

NEUMOS: 925 E. Pike St., Seattle, 709-9467. The Wailers,

with Outernational, Kore Ionz., 8 p.m., $20.

Thursday 19 ROCK/POP/INDIE

COMET TAVERN: 922 E. Pike St., Seattle, 322-9272.

SCAN T H I S CO D E

JEWELBOX/ RENDEZVOUS: 2322

IPHONE/ANDROID APP

Second Ave., Seattle, 441-5823. The Chasers, with Elba, Mutiny Mutiny., 10 p.m., $5. NEUMOS: Youth Lagoon: SEE SHORT LIST, P. 38.

seattleweekly.com

HIP-HOP/R&B

TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE

SEATTLE WEEKLY

FOR MORE CONCERTS OR VISIT

CHOP SUEY: 1325 E.

Madison St., Seattle, 324-8000. Gabriel Teodros, with Meklit Hadero, OC Notes, Spyc-E, DJ’s WD4D & EarDr.Umz All ages., 9 p.m., $10. CROCODILE: 2200 Second Ave., Seattle, 441-7416. Shaprece, with Reva Devito, Zach Bruce., 8 p.m., $10.

COUNTRY/FOLK/ROOTS

DUSTY STRINGS MUSIC SHOP: Dirk Powell Band: SEE

SHORT LIST, P. 38.

Send events to music@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings = Recommended, NC = no charge, AA = all ages.

•

FREMONT ABBEY: 4272 Fremont Ave. N, Seattle,

297-6221. Ben Fisher, with Nick Drummond & Tyler Carson, Taylor Bolibol All ages., 7 p.m., $5-$7. LITTLE RED HEN: 7115 Woodlawn Ave. N.E., Seattle, 522-1168. Dusty 45’s, 9 p.m., $10. THE ROYAL ROOM: 5000 Rainier Ave S, Seattle, 906-9920. Varmint, Thu., Jan. 19, 8 p.m.; Thu., Jan. 26, 8 p.m., NC. TRACTOR TAVERN: 5213 Ballard Ave. N.W., Seattle, 789-3599. The Milk Carton Kids, with The Brendan Hines., 8 p.m., $12 adv./$15 DOS.

JAZZ/BLUES

CAFE VENUS AND THE MARSBAR: 609 Eastlake Ave.

E., Seattle, 624-4516. Simon Henneman Quartet, with Metalmen, Pluton., 10 p.m., $6. DIMITRIOU’S JAZZ ALLEY: 2033 Sixth Ave., Seattle, 441-9729. Jeff Lorber Fusion, with Randy Brecker., Jan. 19-21, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m.; Sun., Jan. 22, 7:30 p.m., $24.50.

Friday 20 ROCK/POP/INDIE

CHOP SUEY: 1325 E. Madison St., Seattle, 324-8000. Friends

and Family, with Western Haunts, Jenny Invert., 8 p.m., $7.

COMET TAVERN: 922 E. Pike St., Seattle, 322-9272.

Ravenna Woods, with A Lull, Deleted Scenes., 9 p.m., $10.

CROCODILE: 2200 Second Ave., Seattle, 441-7416.

Manooghi Hi, 8 p.m., $8.

FUNHOUSE: 206 Fifth Ave. N., Seattle, 374-8400. Girl

Trouble, with The Pynnacles, Sir Coyler & His Asthmatic Band., 9:30 p.m., $7. JEWELBOX/RENDEZVOUS: Pangea: SEE SHORT LIST, P. 38. SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET: Fitz & The Tantrums: SEE SHORT LIST, P. 38. SUNSET TAVERN: 5433 Ballard Ave. N.W., Seattle, 784-4880. Huge Spacebird, with Hard Roller, Sailor Mouth., 10 p.m., $8.

HIP-HOP/R&B

NECTAR LOUNGE: 412 N. 36th St., Seattle, 632-2020. The MC

Type, with Prof, Fictitious, The Bad Tenants, T11., 8 p.m., $7.

NEUMOS: 925 E. Pike St., Seattle, 709-9467. Sol, with Shad,

Brothers from Another, DJ Supreme All ages., 8 p.m., $10.

JAZZ

THE ROYAL ROOM: 5000 Rainier Ave S, Seattle, 906-9920.

Painting The Town Red: The Music of Billie Holiday, with Johnaye Kendrick, Craig Flory, Matthew Weiner., Fri., Jan. 20, 8:30 p.m.; Sat., Jan. 21, 8:30 p.m.; Fri., Jan. 27, 8:30 p.m., NC.

Seattle we ekly • Jan u ary 18– 24, 2012

Magnog, with Blue Light Curtain, The Midget., 9 p.m., $5. EL CORAZON: 109 Eastlake Ave. E., Seattle, 381-3094. Moral Crux, with Koozbane, Kids On Fire, Conniption Fits., 9 p.m., $5.

Meklit Hadero will perform at Chop Suey on Thursday, January 19.

seven»nights Saturday 21 ROCK/POP/INDIE

FUNHOUSE: 206 Fifth Ave. N., Seattle, 374-8400. Helms Alee,

with Black Elk, Nether Regions, Princess., 9:30 p.m., $8.

HARD ROCK CAFE: 116 Pike St., Seattle, 204-2233. In

Join us in the Trophy Room for Happy Hour: Thursday Bartender Special 8-Close Fridays: 5-8pm

OPEN NOON TO CLOSE EVERY DAY!

Cahoots, with See Me River, Sleepy Pilots., 9 p.m., $10 adv./$15 DOS. NEUMOS: 925 E. Pike St., Seattle, 709-9467. Andy Grammer, with Rachel Platten All ages., 7:30 p.m., $13.50. SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET: Fitz & The Tantrums: SEE SHORT LIST, P. 38. SUNSET TAVERN: 5433 Ballard Ave. N.W., Seattle, 784-4880. Karl Blau, with The Soft Hills, Gabriel Mintz., 10 p.m., $7. TRACTOR TAVERN: 5213 Ballard Ave. N.W., Seattle, 789-3599. The Pack A.D., with The Hobosexual., 9:30 p.m., $10.

COUNTRY/FOLK/ROOTS

FAIRE GALLERY CAFE: 1351 E. Olive Way, Seattle,

652-0781. Whitney Ballen and the Intimates, 9 p.m., $5.

TRACTOR TAVERN: 5213 Ballard Ave. N.W., Seattle,

789-3599. Wylie and the Wild West, 5 p.m., $15.

ALTERNATIVE HEALING TOKE OF THE TOWN.COM For Cannabis Culture News and Views, visit Seattle Weekly Partner Site

DANCE/DJ/ELECTRONIC CAIRO: Mark McGuire: SEE SHORT LIST, P. 38.

Sunday 22 ROCK/POP/INDIE

CROCODILE: 2200 Second Ave., Seattle, 441-7416. Terrible

Buttons, with &Yet., 8 p.m., $5.

SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET: 1426 First Ave., Seattle,

COCKTAILS • TASTY HOT DOGS • LOTSA PINBALL

2222 2ND AVENUE • SEATTLE

206-441-5449

628-3151. Theory Of A Deadman, All ages., 7:30 p.m., $22.50 adv./$25 DOS. SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB: 3803 Delridge Way S.W., Seattle, 935-2111. Encourager, with The Melancholics, Ever So Android All ages., 7 p.m., $5. SUNSET TAVERN: 5433 Ballard Ave. N.W., Seattle, 784-4880. Jonathan Kimball Band, with Eric Miller Band, Mtns & Tunnels., 9:30 p.m., $6.

Goin’ Glass

• Local Artisan Made Glass Pipes • Oil Burners • Water Pipes • Extractors • Vaporizers • Accessories

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HIP-HOP/R&B

LOCATED BESIDE

NECTAR LOUNGE: 412 N. 36th St., Seattle, 632-2020.

Events

SAT. JAN. 28

Monday 23

SEATTLE’S ANNUAL LUNAR NEW YEAR FESTIVAL

ROCK/POP/INDIE

WHERE: HING HAY PARK

Seattle weekly • Janu ary 18– 24, 2 012

Events

Roach Gigz, DJ Nima Fadavi All ages., 8:30 p.m., $12. NEUMOS: 925 E. Pike St., Seattle, 709-9467. Nipsey Hussle, with Eighty 4 Fly, Avatar Young Blaze, Bonaphied All ages., 8 p.m., $18.

SAT. FEB. 11

VALENTINE’S DAY DASH WHERE: GREENLAKE PARK

425-222-0811

30355 High Point Way SE / Exit 22 off I-90

EL CORAZON: 109 Eastlake Ave. E., Seattle, 381-3094.

Ground Level Vertigo, with Czar, The Lot Lizard All ages., 7:30 p.m., $8 adv./$10 DOS. HIGH DIVE: 513 N. 36th St., Seattle, 632-0212. Rogue Valley, with Opposite Orbits., 8 p.m., $6. JEWELBOX/RENDEZVOUS: 2322 Second Ave., Seattle, 441-5823. Missing Chairs, with Gun Outfit., 9 p.m., $5. SUNSET TAVERN: 5433 Ballard Ave. N.W., Seattle, 784-4880. Adam Acuragi and the Lupine Chorale Society, 9:30 p.m., $7.

MONTHLY RAFFLES

AFROPOP/REGGAE/WORLD THE TRIPLE DOOR: 216 Union St., Seattle, 838-4333.

Geoffrey Castle and Lucy Wu, All ages., 7:30 p.m., $28.

Tuesday 24

Free Stuff WIN TICKETS TO BELGIANFEST

ROCK/POP/INDIE

EL CORAZON: 109 Eastlake Ave. E., Seattle, 381-3094.

KINGfriday, with Midnight Atmosphere, Rising Union, Jacob McCaslin, August Giaccaglia, Mixd Feelings All ages., 7 p.m., $8 adv./$10 DOS. FUNHOUSE: 206 Fifth Ave. N., Seattle, 374-8400. NOFX Afterparty, with Dies Drear, Sok & the Faggots, The Whywolves., 10 p.m., $5. SUNSET TAVERN: Gold Wolf Galaxy: SEE SHORT LIST, P. 38.

JAZZ/BLUES

DIMITRIOU’S JAZZ ALLEY: 2033 Sixth Ave., Seattle,

441-9729. Sugar Blue, Tue., 7:30 p.m.; $20.50. THE ROYAL ROOM: 5000 Rainier Ave S, Seattle, 906-9920. The Seattle Conduction Band, Mon., Jan. 23, 8 p.m.; Tue., Jan. 24, 8 p.m., NC. TRACTOR TAVERN: 5213 Ballard Ave. N.W., Seattle, 789-3599. Bobby Previte vs. Bandalabra Trio, 9 p.m., $10.

Non-profit collective providing quality dry meds ranging from $7 to $10 a gram and a full range of mmj products. All top shelf (price includes tax) Free Joint for New Patients

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Call for Doctor recommendations.

column»Toke Signals

Don’t Nibble @ Nebula

fter climbing the stairs to the U District’s Nebula Medical Marijuana Club, I was slightly confused. There wasn’t anybody in the reception area, nor in the budroom (which I could see through the glass). When Dustin the budtender/proprietor came to greet me seconds after I found and rang the service button, I was even more confused, though pleasantly so. Of the nearly 50 collectives I’ve visited thus far, Dustin is the only budtender to wear a coat and tie. You might mistake him for a lawyer, except that he knows a lot about cannabis. Nebula’s budroom is larger than most, but that isn’t the only reason for its feeling of openness. Another big factor is all that glass and the view of University Way. It felt strangely liberating that full bud

As Dustin guided me through the medibles case, he discovered a couple of medicated cupcakes with signs of mold. jars were visible from the street below; having become used to discreet shops, it was refreshing to be inside one that wasn’t. If you go for the good stuff at Nebula, you’ll be donating $14 or $15 a gram, but you can get a price break if you get a whole ounce. With the quantity discount, that comes out to a very

BY STEVE ELLIOTT

reasonable $220. After a short and painless negotiation, Dustin agreed to sell me four quarter-ounces for the ounce rate. I picked, with his recommendations, two sativa dominants, Skunk Widow and Leo, and two indica-dominant strains, Purple Kush and Grand Daddy Purple. Of the sativas, the Skunk Widow (Skunk #1 x White Widow) was the better smoke. Its fat, dense, sweet-smelling flowers gave a quick and emphatic high with immediate nausea relief and stress reduction. This is medicine suitable for daytime use, with an energetic boost of purposeful energy. The Leo, on the other hand, while smelling sweeter and having almost as many trichomes, appeared to be somewhat tumbled and worn. The two purple indicas were both tasty, potent, and, as expected, somewhat soporific. The chief difference between them was Grand Daddy Purple’s greater “up” effects, at least for an indica, which lends itself more to physical activities like housecleaning than does the average indica-dominant strain. As Dustin guided me through the medibles case, he discovered a couple of medicated cupcakes with signs of mold. At that point, I decided not to sample any of the medicated goodies, since they were all in the same display case and likely all had mold spores if two of them did. For sick people, that matters more than usual. Nebula is at 4566 University Way N.E., Suite 200, 547-1624, e-mail nebula206@ gmail.com, website nebulaseattle.com. E Steve Elliott edits Toke of the Town, Village Voice Media’s site of cannabis news, views, rumor, and humor.

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Once a gentleman is of a certain age, he’s usually not so quick on the trigger. be there. Your biggest priority is that you get yours: With sex with a stranger, it’s all about you. The worst thing about casual sex: when they beat you to the punch and it’s all about them. If I had any inkling you were talking about a long-term relationship here, I’d call in my panel of experts and ask them for helpful tips on dealing with the two-pump chump. There are methods, but a one- or two-night fling isn’t worth the effort. When

a randy Kurd’s wang exploded all over my knee-length down jacket during a longago, outdoor, dead-of-winter make-out, my friend Rich remarked that I must be a helluva kisser. Faced with an embarrassing conversation with my dry cleaner, I hadn’t considered this glass-half-full take on the situation. But I suggest you do the same and pat yourself on the back for being so wildly attractive you make men’s scrotums go off half-cocked. But in the interest of being servicey, I have a couple of suggestions. The stop-and-start method can be effective, though that’s a little difficult when you don’t know the man well enough to read his come cues. Hitting pause might also be frustrating for you. The finger-grip method might raise his hackles because it basically entails a big pinch to the dick, which could be alarming coming from a stranger. Extra-thick condoms with desensitizing lube should work, though depending on where you’re making sweet action, you might end up with novocaine mouth. The easiest thing to do is suggest a pregame show. If he shoots one into his hand—or yours, or a wad of tissues—before you get hot and heavy, the next one will take him longer. You could frame it as a who-can-shoot-farthest competition, or just summon your inner Barry White (aka your sexy voice) and offer a quick hand job before the main event. The most reliable method is skewing older with your man candy. Once a gentleman is of a certain age, he’s usually not so quick on the trigger. Of course, old dudes come with their own problems. But for that, there’s always the little blue pill. E dategirl@seattleweekly.com Listen to Judy on The Mike & Judy Show on the Heritage Radio Network or follow her tweets @DailyDategirl.

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