Seattle Weekly, June 13, 2012 by Sound Publishing

JUNE 13–19, 2012 I VOLUME 37 I NUMBER 24

SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM I FREE

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Seattle weekly • JU N E 13–19, 2012

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inside» June 13-19, 2012 VOLUME 37 | NUMBER 24 » SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM

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NEWS

THE DAILY WEEKLY | Why we shouldn’t trust inmates to make their guards’ uniforms. Plus NewHolly’s housing blues and KIRO’s overreach.

FEATURE

BY KEEGAN HAMILTON | What’s

the best way to counter the selfabsorbed vigilantism of self-proclaimed “superheroes” like Phoenix Jones? Turn yourself into an arch-villain—especially if you have the fashion flair, video skills, and marketing cunning of Rex Velvet.

in back 17 THE WEEKLY WIRE

18 ARTS

18 | STAGE | Thirty years on, Lewis

Black makes a comedy out of a breakup. 20 | OPENING NIGHTS | Love in the woods, dancers meet pen pals, and murder at the hair salon! 24 | THE FUSSY EYE | Beautiful bruising. COPYRIGHT © 2012 BY S EATTLE WEEKLY, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. REPRODUCTION IN WHOLE OR IN PART WITHOUT PERMISSION IS PROHIBITED. ISSN 0898 0845 • SEATTLE WEEKLY IS PUBLISHED WEEKLY BY SEATTLE WEEKLY, LLC. 1008 WESTERN AVE., STE. 300, SEATTLE, WA 98104 • SEATTLE WEEKLY® IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK. • PERIODICALS POSTAGE PAID AT SEATTLE, WA • POSTMASTER: SEND ADDRESS CHANGES TO SEATTLE WEEKLY, 1008 WESTERN AVE., STE. 300, SEATTLE, WA 98104 • FOUNDED 1976. MAIN SWITCHBOARD: 206-623-0500 CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING: 206-623-6231 RETAIL AND ONLINE ADVERTISING: 206-467-4341

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deserve that. These guys have undreds of new state to look professional. They’re laws enacted by the overseeing inmates. There’s a legislature earlier this respect factor.” year took effect last The new state law exempts only week, including one measure that the Department of Corrections aims to keep Washington prison from the prison-labor mandate, meaninmates from outfitting guards ing inmates will still manufacture in uncomfortably revealing aprons for cooks and other types of uniforms. clothing. Private companies The new law is the result of already supply uniforms HB 2346, sponsored by Rep. for other state lawMaureen Walsh, a Repubenforcement agencies, lican from Walla Walla. and, incredibly, the The bill, approved Office of Financial almost unanimously by Management prothe state House and jects that the recent Senate, proposed a changes will actually minor but signifisave money in the cant change to an long run because RCW that requires the private state agencies to sector produces utilize prison labor uniforms more whenever possible for cheaply and goods and services. efficiently than Until now, one prisoners do. of the inmates’ jobs Finally, Walsh notes, included sewing the very the new law also addresses a uniforms worn by their potential safety issue, as inmates guards. The gaping flaw in will no longer have the that system, accordopportunity to work ing to Walsh and on an assembly line several correctional that offers access to the officers who testified Print is great, but if you perfect disguise for throughout the legiswant to browse . . . our collection of amazingly disturbing an escape attempt. “If lative process, is that classroom posters from the ’70s, you’ll you’re giving inmates convicts don’t make the have to check out The Daily Weekly. the materials to make best tailors. In some SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM/DAILYWEEKLY officer uniforms,” she instances, the inmates says, “what’s going were supposedly putto stop them from throwing one of those ting one over on their overseers by craftuniforms on and walking out the door?” ing uniforms that, when donned by female guards, resembled something better suited KEEGAN HAMILTON for a sorority Halloween party. “There was some hanky-panky going on with the uniform-making,” Walsh explains. “The seams were a little tight on the seat of In 2006, Zac Johnson bought a house in the pants on the men, and there was some NewHolly, the Beacon Hill housing developgape around the bra area on the women’s ment created by Seattle Housing Authority as blouses . . . One lady told me she had a thick a prototype for mixed-income multicultural gap and you could look right into her shirt.” living. He paid $345,000 for a newly conWalsh, whose district includes a structed four-bedroom—which a few months maximum-security state penitentiary, says ago he sold for almost half that price. she heard from guards at several facilities To Johnson, who runs Meaty Johnson’s that inmates were intentionally spacing BBQ in Pioneer Square, it seems that home buttons far apart and otherwise tampering prices have de-escalated even more sharply with the guards’ clothing. In addition to the in NewHolly than in other parts of the city. uniforms’ uncomfortable sexiness, guards “It happened so fast,” he says. Having seen complained about zippers breaking, buttons neighboring home values rise to more than falling off, and colors “turning from navy $400,000, he watched them dip to the breakblue to purple in no time.” even point and then plummet as one neigh“It was a little bit of humor as far as the bor after another went through a short sale whole situation, but it’s an issue of pride and (in which a house is sold for less than the performance and professionalism for these value of the mortgage). correctional officers,” Walsh says. “And they » Continued on page 9

Seattle weekly • JU N E 13–19, 2012

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news» The Daily Weekly » from page 7

Clean Record

Last month, KIRO-TV aired an “investigation” that purported to expose alleged bullying by a Leschi Elementary custodian. The piece touted a video it had obtained, via hidden camera, of Chester Harris “grabbing a child on the schoolyard”— which was a strange way to characterize

“KIRO is perpetuating the idea that AfricanAmerican men are criminals.” camera.) Asked for comment, KIRO’s outgoing news director, Todd Mokhtari, said only that the station “stands by its stories.” Regardless of the circumstances, the video clip makes for a poor gotcha. As Ruiz told the station, Harris “wasn’t rough, wasn’t grabbing my son.” He actually appears pretty gentle as he’s trying to calm a boy who seems steamed about something. A packet of material obtained from the News Council—a sort of Better Business Bureau for local media—reveals a litany of other complaints from the union, the school district, Leschi parents, and school staff, dozens of whom signed a petition decrying the KIRO piece and lauding Harris. Among the claims: KIRO downplayed separate school and police investigations that found no wrongdoing in regard to two other allegations of bullying made by students’ family members; the station neglected to mention that those allegations came from members of the same extended family; and the report brought up criminal charges that Harris had faced but not been convicted of. “KIRO is perpetuating the idea that African-American men are criminals,” laments parent Victoria Summerquist in her News Council complaint. “When my 8-yearold boy was in kindergarten, Mr. Harris would let me know if he was getting into trouble on the playground. In first grade, he let me know my son was throwing away full lunches I was making him. I have been deeply moved by the attentiveness and care Mr. Harris has exhibited.” In all, the News Council says it received more complaints about the KIRO piece—15—than it has about any other story in its 14-year history, and has scheduled a hearing on the matter for June 16. NINA SHAPIRO E

news@seattle weekly.com

June 15-17

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Seattle w ee kly • JUN E 13–19, 2012

It would seem a big comedown from the time when buyers rushed to NewHolly, proving that middle-class people really would buy homes right around the corner from poor public-housing tenants. Indeed, in 2005, when developer Polygon Northwest was selling houses on a first-come, first-served basis, buyers literally camped out. From a story SW did then (“Rich House, Poor House,” July 13, 2005): “Nine families ended up spending the night together, supplied by Polygon with pizza, doughnuts, and an office where the buyers could lay out sleeping bags. In the end, 40 potential buyers showed up. The demand was so great that Polygon, which has continued building town homes, has raised prices several times in just the six months since.” Has the attraction of NewHolly waned? Some suggest that crime is a problem: Johnson says his household (he and several roommates) experienced five car break-ins. But that’s not why he moved: Like many others who have decamped from their homes of late, he did so simply because he was deeply underwater. The plummeting prices he saw probably have more to do with NewHolly’s status as a new development than as a mixed-income experiment. Mount Baker Windermere agent Al Johnson (no relation) says that if you have a bunch of identical homes for sale—all built at the same time—a price war is likely to break out. “Obviously the buyer will pick the least expensive one,” he says. If NewHolly’s prices de-escalated faster than those in other parts of Seattle, that may be because new developments are few and far between in the city (most of them being other SHA projects that followed NewHolly). Indeed, that was a big part of NewHolly’s appeal in the first place. In fact, it still is—for those buying the new homes in a quasi-addition to NewHolly. Eric Uyeji, another agent in Windermere’s Mount Baker office, says he is currently selling homes built on an extra parcel sold by SHA to developer Bennett Homes. Priced in the mid-$300,000s, five have found buyers in the past month and a half. These newer homes may have contributed to the deflated values of NewHolly’s slightly older homes, Uyeji surmises. After all, when a similar but newer home is nearby, why buy the older one? So NewHolly’s utopian dream may still be alive. It’s just living in an especially punishing market. NINA SHAPIRO

the footage. Stranger yet was what the custodian’s angry defenders, who filed complaints with the nonprofit Washington News Council, claim he was actually doing. According to the mother of the boy supposedly grabbed, Harris was breaking up a fight. And she thanked him for it, according to a follow-up piece KIRO ran two days later, after the station started getting complaints. “Had my son hit that boy, he would have got into trouble,” Michelle Ruiz told KIRO. What’s more, in a letter to the station, the International Union of Operating Engineers, to which Harris belongs, claims that Ruiz had informed KIRO of these circumstances before it ran its original story. (To the station’s credit, it published the union’s letter and put Ruiz on

Seattle weekly • JU N E 13–19, 2012

BELLEVUE SQUARE

KEVIN DURANT

10 CHAMPS-SEATTLE_6-8.indd 1

6/8/12 4:43 PM

Phoenix Jones’ nemesis isn’t serious, but that won’t stop him from cashing in on his faux villainy.

t e v l e Ve n i m d l o G S ilt m a H an By Keeg

Now that long-simmering backlash is personified by Velvet, a bowler-wearing, samurai sword–wielding, DeLoreandriving scoundrel with some serious video-editing skills. In a series of viral clips released last month on YouTube, Velvet dubbed himself “The People’s Villain,” called on Jones to “hang up his mask for good,” and decried the Seattle superhero movement as a “silly gang of misfit Power Rangers disturbing the peace.” Velvet debuted the morning of May 1, the day thousands of protesters took to the streets and nearly re-enacted the 1999 WTO riots. Jones and his crew were there, unleashing a cloud of pepper spray in a vain attempt to guard a downtown building. By mid-month, Jones hit KISS 106.1 to publicly challenge his invented adversary to a debate/fight. The confrontation has yet to occur, but discussion has definitely begun. In these trying times, our city stands divided into two camps. It’s Jones vs. Velvet, heroes vs. villains, and, as usual, serious vs. snarky. Yet curiously little is known about the man who calls himself Rex Velvet. Where did he come from? Why does he despise Phoenix Jones? Just how evil is he, really? A series of interviews with Velvet yielded some shocking answers. Not only does he secretly loathe cats (except when they’re being used to torment kidnapped real-life superheroes), Velvet is poised to stoop to the lowest level of villainy: merchandising.

Seattle w ee kly • JUN E 13–19, 2012

TLEY JOHN KEA

eattle has felt a lot like Gotham City lately: anarchists clad in black wielding wooden clubs and smashing windows; random shootings claiming the lives of innocent bystanders; a public that has lost faith in its police force; and a mayor unwilling or unable to stanch the bleeding. These are dark days and nights in the Emerald City, and the only things missing are a costumed crusader and his villainous rival. Wait, we’ve got those too. While the mayhem has been tragically real, our superhero is a brawny comic-book aficionado with an itchy trigger finger on his pepper-spray canister, and his arch-nemesis is a satirical provocateur battling him for Internet-celebrity supremacy. The only way it could be more quintessentially Seattle is if they both were vegans working day jobs as paddleboard-yoga instructors. We’re talking, of course, about Phoenix Jones, the self-proclaimed Guardian of Seattle, and his new mustachioed foe, Rex Velvet. Jones, outed long ago as 22-year-old ex-MMA fighter Ben Fodor, has stretched his 15 minutes of fame into genuine notoriety. It’s been nearly three years since he donned a fedora and generated his first headline, but he’s still wrangling lastcall drunks in Belltown and still a media darling. In the past month alone, Jones and his Rain City sidekicks were featured on cable’s National Geographic Channel, and he starred in a music video for a rock song dedicated to his alter ego. While a portion of the public adores Jones, his ego and approach to crimefighting have also riled a legion of critics.

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 12 11

t’s a dreary afternoon in downtown Seattle, but it’s warm and dry in Bernard’s, the dark basement bar beneath the Hotel Seattle. The joint is German-themed, with a big Bavarian mural on one wall; the absence of windows makes it feel like the set for the shootout scene in Inglourious Basterds. Incongruously, the soundtrack is Swedish pop, with ABBA’s “Dancing Queen” just loud enough in the background to drown out the conversation at a nearby table. It seems a suitable place to rendezvous with a supervillain. Velvet arrives late, cursing downtown’s parking squeeze. He looks nothing like the dastardly devil depicted on the Internet. The cartoonish handlebar mustache is missing from his upper lip, and the gnarly scar that runs down his cheek has vanished. He wears a hoodie, and looks like any other fresh-faced 26-year-old Seattleite. He orders a coffee and a beer, and talks about himself in the third person. “Briefly, I’ll let you into the world that is Rex Velvet,” he says. “Mind you, I don’t share

there. I talk a certain way, and if you don’t like it, I assume you’re prejudiced.” Velvet claims to be descended from “a long line of villains,” and his evil pedigree is bolstered by a record of childhood mischief. In 1998, according to his Facebook profile, he earned “Camp Chaos’ Youth Troublemaker Award.” Asked to elaborate, Velvet wistfully recalls his first major caper. “We managed to make sure, on the girls’ side of camp, all of the toilet paper was stolen for the entire week,” Velvet says. “It was absolutely horrific.” At this malevolent summer camp, Velvet says, he also became acquainted with the gang of miscreants that still serve as his henchmen in his Social Villains Alliance, or SVA. But the typically loquacious Velvet is cryptic when queried about the Illuminatiesque group he leads, saying “Certain things must remain a

Jones finds no humor in Velvet’s shtick.

Sy Bean

Velvet Goldmine » from paGe 11

Velvet wields a mustachioed Space needle as a weapon.

this info with many, but since you’re going to give me a front-page story in your silly little blog paper, I’ll make an exception.” Asked about his altered appearance, Velvet mumbles something about being incognito. He bears a conspicuous resemblance to the actor who stars in a series of spoof videos on YouTube uploaded by the same “dirtyc34” account that added Velvet’s missives. But he’s carrying Velvet’s signature silver Space Needle–shaped shank, and his voice—vaguely British and over-the-top sinister—is unmistakable. Velvet, however, is in no mood to discuss the origins of his peculiar accent. “I was dropped off a little bastard in a basket at the evil orphanage,” he says. “But I can trace my origins: I know exactly where the accent comes from, but it’s neither here nor

mystery—these are matters I simply cannot discuss.” Velvet made it a condition of our interview that his true identity would remain offlimits, though he did dispute Jones’ claim that the real-life Rex is a wedding photographer. Typically sharp-witted, with a mischievous smile, Velvet’s demeanor briefly turns serious, and he actually seems somewhat offended by Jones’ mischaracterization of his profession, which he vaguely describes as “videography.” Some basic Internet sleuthing reveals connections to a company called Rocket Launch Productions and a background in media. Loath to discuss such details, Velvet quickly steers the conversation to his favorite topic: Phoenix Jones. What galls Velvet most about Jones might come as a surprise. It’s not just the so-called superhero’s attempts to fight crime, but rather the bombastic public persona and cult of personality Jones has cultivated. “If we’re going to fight crime,” Velvet says, “we don’t have to put on a suit and parade around downtown like an ass and hurt people.” On this point, Velvet strives to make himself clear: He is opposed to physical violence and illegal acts. There is, as he puts it, a fine line between evil and illegal. Waging a propaganda campaign to taunt harebrained do-gooders like Jones is evil; blowing up a building is illegal. “You do that and you look like an asshole terrorist,” Velvet says. “There’s no class, no tact. Rex has charisma. It takes a great man of distinguished character to cripple you psychologically.” It’s an odd paradox. Velvet purports to promote all manner of nefarious deeds, yet John Keatley

Seattle weekly • JU N E 13–19, 2012

“If we’re going to fight crime,” Velvet says, “we don’t have to put on a suit and parade around downtown like an ass and hurt people.” when push comes to shove, he is anti-shoving and pro-hugging. To rephrase the immortal question posed by Rodney King: Why can’t Phoenix and Rex just get along? “There’s no rhyme or reason why Rex doesn’t like good guys,” Velvet says. “He just doesn’t. He’s only a villain because he dislikes superheroes. He’s an opposing voice, a devil’s advocate. Rex isn’t necessarily doing anything bad, he’s just stirring the pot.”

ong before Velvet and his Social Villains Alliance came along, a group called the Ruthless Organization Against Citizen Heroes (ROACH) ruled Seattle’s villain scene with iron fists on their keyboards. Led by a shadowy figure known as The Potentate, the group formed in 2009 as a direct response to Jones’ antics. Like Velvet and the SVA, ROACH’s arrival was heralded by the Gawker Media blog i09, which published their recruiting video with the tagline “It is a time of Heroes. Hope runs rampant. Evil must act.” Trouble was, evil never really acted. The group stopped maintaining their website last year, their plans for world domination apparently falling by the wayside. Agent Beryllium, a Seattle-based ROACH co-founder, says The Potentate moved to the Midwest and mellowed after he became a father. Now the group’s day-to-day activities are managed by a guy in Florida who calls himself Poop Knife. “I’ve never met him in real life,” Beryllium says. “I’d imagine he smells bad.” Beryllium suggested a meeting at Cupcake Royale on Capitol Hill. Formerly, ROACH’s evil lair was the nearby Po Dog hot-dog shop, but they recently decided to relocate. In her late 20s with close-cropped red hair, Beryllium arrives wearing tinted aviator goggles and a suede jacket with a sheepskin collar. This, she explains, is her time-travel outfit. She may or may not be kidding. Despite her alleged ability to visit the future, Beryllium says she did not see Rex

» Continued on paGe 14

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Velvet coming. She and the other remaining ROACH villains are impressed by his Hollywood-caliber video production, but somewhat jealous of all the attention he’s been getting. Nevertheless, she and her cohorts have decided to adhere to the old adage “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” “We thoroughly congratulate him,” Beryllium says. “We like his moxie.” Velvet has no plans to forge an alliance with ROACH, saying he represents “a shift in the villain guard,” but Beryllium offers him unsolicited advice: Watch out for the crazies. ROACH, she explains, was overrun with e-mails from lunatics—many calling themselves “The RealLife Joker”—conspiring to attack superheroes or participate in actual crimes. “I respect people like Rex Velvet because it is about pure entertainment,” Beryllium says. “He isn’t trying to sugarcoat something. It’s raw, viral fun.” Tea Krulos, Milwaukee-based author of the forthcoming Heroes in the Night, about reallife superheroes, says mockery was also the inspiration for the original real-life supervillain. Several years ago in Cincinnati, a character called The High Noon Tortoise emerged as a rival to that city’s hapless hero, Shadow Hare. “Shadow Hare was kind of people’s stereotypical vision of what a real-life superhero guy typically is,” Krulos says. “He’s a young, kind of scrawny, squeaky-voiced dude who is obviously kind of nerdy. The local news report on him pretty much laughed him off. The video started circulating, and that’s when people were like, ‘If this guy is a superhero, I’m going to be a supervillain.’ ” courtesy of rex VelVet

’

Velvet Goldmine » from paGe 12

Velvet’s high-caliber videos feature Wes anderson-like lettering.

there’s a pretty large contingent that feels like this whole real-life-superhero concept is kind of ridiculous in some way,” Bender says. “Rex Velvet seems to be the mouthpiece for that, but I don’t know. I can’t get inside Rex Velvet’s head, and I don’t want to.” Velvet acknowledges that his extraordinarily elaborate prank comes embedded with a deeper message: Phoenix Jones and other real-life superheroes are attention-craving vigilantes trying to do police work without the proper training or authorization. But the best part about Velvet’s gag thus far is that Jones is taking him seriously.

Seattle weekly • JU N E 13–19, 2012

Phoenix Jones and other real-life superheroes are attention-craving vigilantes trying to do police work without the proper training or authorization.

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F R E MON TFA I R .OR G

The High Noon Tortoise, Krulos recounts, broadcast his plans to thwart Shadow Hare by littering and jaywalking every day at an appointed place and time. As Krulos observes, the petty plot was quite obviously meant to be a joke, but the very existence of villains like Velvet implies at least halfseriousness on their part. “What separates them from the public is a lot of people just kind of shrug this thing off as being ‘Oh, these guys are doing this weird superhero thing, I’ll turn the page and read about something else,’ ” Krulos says. “[For] supervillains, it kind of strikes a deeper nerve, to where they feel the need to debate and kind of retaliate.” H. Eric Bender is one of three forensic psychiatrists at Broadcast Thought, a Los Angeles organization which analyzes movie villains for Hollywood scriptwriters. Bender and his colleagues declined to psychoanalyze Velvet, but they too suspect there is at least a speck of sincerity behind all the sarcasm. “It seems like

hoenix Jones officially declined an interview request for this story, but he did make his feelings about Velvet quite clear. “He’s the worst person of all time,” Jones says during our brief phone conversation. “Everyone knows Phoenix Jones is a marketing strategy in itself, but the marketing is to not be a dick or a douchebag!” Jones, notorious for typing exclusively in upper-case letters when responding to critics online, legitimately feels he’s making a difference. The young father of two lost his job as a respite-care worker with the state Department of Social and Health Services after his pepperspray arrest last October, and has yet to cash in on his celebrity with a book deal or reality-TV show. With his pretend-superheroine wife PurpleReign, Jones recently held a fundraiser for a charity that supports victims of domestic violence. The “marketing,” Jones emphasizes, is a variant of the Department

» Continued on paGe 16

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Velvet Goldmine » fRom paGe 14 of Homeland Security’s “If you see something, say something” campaign. He wants to encourage people to call the police or take action when they witness crime. Velvet, however, isn’t buying it. “At best,” he says, “Phoenix Jones is a snitch—a tattletale, a babysitter roaming about the city.” It’s that sort of needling which led Jones to publicly confront Velvet. On Thursday, May 17, Jones appeared on the Jackie and Bender show on Seattle’s KISS 106.1 FM to challenge Velvet to a 10-minute debate followed by a three-minute fight, in which the villain could wield “any weapon . . . other than a gun.” Velvet refused to take the bait, which irked Jones even more. “Villains fight superheroes,

“I believe if you do see a superhero, you should you do your best to run at them and mark them with a permanent marker,” Velvet says. “They need to be mocked—branded with a scarlet letter, if you will.” and fake villains make YouTube videos,” Jones said on-air. “You’re like the Kim Kardashian of villains.” Asked later about the exchange, Velvet claims hand-to-hand combat with Jones was never his aspiration. He merely requested a face-toface meeting with his archenemy, and urged the public to stop tolerating superheroes. But, in hindsight, given the virtually limitless array of weapons that had been offered him, a tussle

with Jones could have been very entertaining. “I could run him over with a Ride the Ducks,” Velvet muses. “Or maybe I’ll box him in with 100 mimes and then Silly String him to death.” Velvet, though, prefers to inflict mental anguish; his primary tactic is public ridicule. He recently created flyers reading “Super Heroes Not Welcome” for followers to print and plaster about the city, and he encourages people to shout “Nerd!” whenever they see

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Jones and his sidekicks on patrol. “That way anywhere Phoenix goes, he can’t escape the fact that he’s a silly nerd,” says Velvet. Of course, in his most recent video, Velvet does appear to inflict actual physical pain on a real-life superhero. A nameless man in Captain America–style tights is shown tied to a chair. Velvet briefly wields a massive claw contraption, but ultimately eschews the ghoulish torture device for something entirely crueler: housecats. In the end, the hero’s face appears to have been clawed repeatedly. “Though I keep hundreds of cats, I do not like them,” Velvet says. “I find them to be the most horrific and evil of all creatures. But I must have the relationship with the evil cats. I know they’re evil and they’ll get the job done.” In addition to the feline affliction, the abducted hero in the video also ends up with a handlebar mustache inked in Sharpie on his upper lip. Velvet envisions mustache-tagging as part of the public uprising against superheroes. He urges concerned citizens to carry felt pens and, if possible, draw mustaches on the faces of costumed crusaders like Jones. “I believe if you do see a superhero, you should you do your best to run at them and mark them with a permanent marker,” Velvet says. “They need to be mocked—branded with a scarlet letter, if you will.” But to hear Jones tell it, the last thing Velvet wants is for his counterpart to quit the superhero business. Jones says that before Velvet’s first video premiered more online, an associate online of the villain sent See a slideshow of Rex Velvet outtakes at an invitation asking seattleweekly.com Jones to collaborate with him. “He doesn’t actually want me to quit,” Jones says, claiming to have e-mails that prove the conversation occurred. “He’s a huge fan.” Velvet rebuffs the accusation. “Rex will go to great lengths to ensure the city is rid of vigilante nerds,” he says, adding that the e-mails mentioned by Jones were written by a wannabe villain not affiliated with the SVA. But he concedes his endgame includes some sort of profiteering—whether a feature-film opportunity or hawking branded merchandise on the SVA website remains to be seen. Either way, Jones and Velvet have an oddly symbiotic relationship. The more views Velvet’s YouTube videos rack up, the more attention Jones invariably gets, and each time Jones acknowledges Velvet’s existence, it lends the villain a little more legitimacy. Superhero author Krulos nails the Jones/ Velvet dynamic by comparing Jones to someone who attempts to engage in serious debate with a troll on an Internet forum. “It’s like someone getting mad at a ventriloquist dummy or a puppet,” Krulos says. “It’s not something you should get mad at just because it’s talking. One guy I met said ‘I’ve got the perfect weapon against real-life supervillains.’ He had a picture of the on/off key on his computer. It was like, ‘Once I press this, there’s no evidence they ever existed.’ ” So is Velvet at all concerned that his lowercase-averse nemesis will discover the secret weapon embedded on his keyboard? “Clearly,” Velvet replies, “Phoenix Jones needs to figure out where the caps lock button is first.” E

khamilton@seattleweekly.com

the»weekly»wire BOOKS

And the Answer Is . . .

There will be beer. There will be whiskey. There will be pizza. And there will be a sensational DJ: El Toro (Kurt B. Reighley) tonight at the Sunset. But what’s unusual is that there will also be an author, Judy McGuire, aka Seattle Weekly’s own Dategirl columnist. And rather than simply read passages from her exhaustively researched and wildly entertaining new The Official Book of Sex, Drugs & Rock ’n’ Roll Lists (Soft Skull, $15.95) McGuire will stage a

trivia contest (“How many rockers croaked via autoerotic asphyxiation?”) and give away prizes to the most knowledgeable attendees. Stick around after Kurt and Judy’s Variety Show (as we surely will), pay a modest $8 cover, and you can also hear some of Seattle’s finest local twang, performed live by Shelby Earl and Mark Pickerel. (Amy LaVere’s also on the bill.) You can bet McGuire will sign your book, and you can also read an exclusive advance excerpt at seattleweekly.com. Sunset Tavern, 5433 Ballard Ave. N.W., 784-4880. 6–8 p.m. MIKE SEELY MUSIC

Faithful Fretwork

BOOKS

Cresting on His Laurels

It seems awfully clichéd to call a veteran writer an old lion, but Frank Deford actually looks like one. Now in his mid-70s, Deford’s still got the muttonchops, thin mustache, and towering physical—and intellectual—stature to embody the king of the sports-journalism jungle. And now he’s written a whimsically titillating and ruthlessly self-deprecating memoir, Over Time: My Life as a Sportswriter (Atlantic Monthly Press, $25), which he opens with the suggestion that memoirs are an exercise in self-aggrandizement. People don’t bat an eyelid when the Sports Illustrated legend wears sweaters, suits, ties, and button-down shirts in Easteregg colors, whereas they mock TV basketball sideline reporter Craig Sager as a wannabe pimp for sporting such loud and proud finery. The regal Deford can (probably) drink you under the table, write you under the table, and think you under the table, but Over Time makes clear that he knows luck has plenty to do with where he is today—licking his wrinkly paws while a harem of subservient cats hunt down his supper. Seattle Central Library, 1000 Fourth Ave., 386-4636, spl.org. Free. 7 p.m. MIKE SEELY

fri/6/15 FILM

Marital Horror

Think Rosemary’s Baby reimagined as David Cronenberg bio-horror through the lens of European art cinema. In the 1981 Possession,

Strange Obsessions

Isabelle Adjani abruptly leaves her husband (Sam Neill), son, and lover to become both mother and mistress to a dark demon she spontaneously births in the midst of a nervous breakdown in a Berlin subway. Adjani is all twitchy, rabbit-like nervousness in her erratic spiral, while Neill obsesses over her mysterious behavior like a man possessed. Polish-born director Andrjez Zulawski claims he was inspired to make this film by the emotions that bubbled up during his divorce. It’s not hard to see: Both Adjani’s and Neill’s characters become so unlikable that only the sheer madness of their struggle keeps us watching. This story of demons and doppelgängers is an uncomfortable mix of heady psychodrama, raw emotion (via hysterical shouting matches and intense, bug-eyed performances), and exploitation weirdness, the latter courtesy of special-effects maestro Carlo Rambaldi’s nightmarish love child. The film was cut by 45 minutes for its initial

FRI: FILM

NWFF

Welcome to the uniquely surreal world of Czech animation genius Jan Švankmajer. Unsettling, often grotesque, always imaginative and vivid, his stop-motion studies are built out of a distinctive blend of hand-carved puppets and dolls, found objects, decaying food and vegetation, and dead animals and insects. All are blended into the mundane reality of his repressive socialist (and later post-Soviet) world. Mixing media like a dream-weaver, he creates images so primal and grossly sensual that their subversive political satire has usually escaped censors’ notice. His herky-jerky animation is alienating, unnerving, and weirdly beautiful—filled with creations that appear to have crawled in from another dimension. Švankmajer worked in shorts for 20 years before making his first feature in 1989, the nightmarishly creepy Alice (as in Wonderland), which begins the retrospective tonight. All six of his features, including the creepy fairy tale Little Otik (2000) and his live-action Conspirators A typically bizarre creature from of Pleasure (1996), will screen from 35mm prints. (Through Thurs.) Northwest Film Forum, the Švankmajer menagerie. 1515 12th Ave., 267-5380, nwfilmforum.org. $6–$10. 8 p.m. SEAN AXMAKER

American release, then restored for home video a few years ago. This is the first time the complete version has been seen in U.S. theaters. (Through Sun.) Grand Illusion, 1403 N.E. 50th St., 523-3935, grandillusioncinema. org. $5–$8. 8:45 & 11 p.m. SEAN AXMAKER COMEDY

Above It All

Brian Posehn has made a comedy career

out of being underestimated. He’s a big galoot often lurking in supporting roles (The Sarah Silverman Program, Just Shoot Me, The Five-Year Engagement, etc.), but never the star. Jason Segel may get the lunky comic lead roles, but not him. So the mountain-tall (6 feet, 6 inches) Posehn has made his . . . er, distinctively bald, jowly, hangdog appearance into a strength. He’s always silently looming at the periphery of a scene. He quite literally looks down on the comic commotion, the hubbub at his feet. And though he visually presents as a slacker, he’s anything but. In addition to writing and directing for TV, he tours regularly as a stand-up comedian—and will be recording tonight’s two shows. In the past, Posehn made hay of his not-quite-ironic love of heavy metal, but he’s also a serious foodie (of the food-truck persuasion) and a proud sci-fi geek. As he said on a recent Conan O’Brien appearance, “I’m a giant, giant nerd. I’m a big Star Wars fan—the old Star Wars. I hate the new Star Wars.” Of George Lucas’ add-on trilogy and his tinkering with the original three movies, he vented, “I’m still that guy. I still get mad at that stuff. I look on it as betrayal, as if my uncle tried to rape me.” The Neptune, 1303 N.E. 45th St., 877-784-4849, stgpresents.org. $15–$17. 8 & 10:30 p.m. BRIAN MILLER

Seattle w ee kly • JUN E 13–19, 2012

The Beatles have the world’s most covered and coveted songbook; the airwaves are so saturated with covers that they can sound like white noise. (Occasionally something truly terrible, like PM Dawn’s “Norwegian Wood,” gets your attention.) Local jazz-guitar icon Bill Frisell has heard all that crap, yet dared to sample the John Lennon side of the canon for last fall’s release on Savoy Jazz, All We Are Saying, a tender and thoughtfully adapted collection of 16 songs you know so well, including “In My Life,” “Nowhere Man,” and the inevitable “Norwegian Wood.” They’re both familiar and sublime. Opening the album, “Across the Universe” is gorgeous, infusing iconic hooks with elegant guitar harmonics and dreamy resonance. Frisell’s delicate rendition of “Julia”

Posehn only pretends to be a slacker.

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weaves expert improvisation into the arrangement; he applies graceful finesse to the classic melody. He respects Lennon and the Beatles too much to attempt any sort of reckless rearrangement. For this four-night stand (through Sunday), he’s backed by Tony Scherr, Greg Leisz, and Kenny Wollesen. Dimitriou’s Jazz Alley, 2033 Sixth Ave., 441-9729, jazzalley.com. $26.50. 7:30 & 9:30 p.m. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT

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On Stage Now - July 29, 2012

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30 Years to the Altar Lewis Black got dumped. Then he wrote about it. For the next three decades. BY BRIAN MILLER

t is a relief, but no surprise, that in person Lewis Black considerably mutes the volume and intensity of his Daily Show appearances. His “Back in Black” political tirades are a form of acting, after all, and he’s been an actor and playwright for some 40 years. Fame came late, thanks to Jon Stewart, and the 63-year-old Black has since capitalized on it with stand-up tours, HBO specials, books, and now the comedy One Slight Hitch, conceived all the way back in 1981 when Stewart was still in college. Sitting in the top-floor rehearsal space at A Contemporary Theatre, rain pounding on the skylights, Black explains the play’s origin. “This was supposed to be my ticket to teaching,” he remembers. Not long out of the Yale School of Drama, he and his theater pals were eking out a living in New York City. Then his actress girlfriend, called Courtney in the play, took a movie gig in London. “We had been living together for three years,” recalls Black. As for any talk of marriage, “She said, ‘You have to realize my career comes first. You’re second.’ ” Then from London, “she called and said, ‘I’ve met the man I’m going to marry.’ And I went through the roof. I went, ‘You can’t tell me your career comes first, then tell me you’re getting married!’ Six months after that, she married the guy. All my friends went to the wedding. Then they all came back and told me what the family was talking about was why I wasn’t the one that was the groom. Not very long after that I went, ‘Well, son of a bitch, I got a play!’ What if I showed up there accidentally? Once I put myself into that position, it all fell into place.” Well, he had the premise for a play: The jilted party (the Black figure) would somehow wind up at the wedding to protest. That character, a hapless writer, is now called Ryan (played by Shawn Telford in the all-local cast). The bride (Kimberley Sustad) is a more ambitious writer, engaged to a fellow called Harper (John Ulman). She has two sisters, an overbearing mother, and a father who’s paying for the whole thing. “I wrote it within a year,” says Black, who counts more than 40 plays—mostly one-acts— on his resume. The comedy, then called Hitching and structured quite differently, was soon produced by Ohio’s Kenyon Festival Theater. “It had a certain kind of success,” Black remembers. “But over time I realized I had a farce and I had a romantic comedy, and I had to figure out how to marry them.” With fellow Yalie

CLAY MCBRIDE

FRIDAY,

arts»Stage

After his play debuts, Black goes back out on the comedy circuit.

Joe Grifasi, who’s directing the ACT production (following last summer’s run at the Williamstown Theatre Festival in Massachusetts), they tinkered with the play over the past decade. Though 30 years have passed, Black has kept the Reagan-era setting, he explains. “It has to be in the past. That time period is vital. The parents are of that generation that came out of the war. Marriage was easier for them. The first chapter of women’s liberation is finishing at that point, and women really are entering the workforce.” Though the marriage-versus-career theme is still timely for women, Black concedes, the forces were more pronounced during the post–ERA/Wendy Wasserstein era. “Then, it was a major event. That period becomes the beginning of that unraveling”—meaning rising divorce rates and the notion of having kids without a husband. Back in 1981, wanting to please her parents (and fiance), Courtney doesn’t feel such options are open to her. As for Ryan, says Black, “He’s always got great ideas, but he never finishes anything. He’s still got one foot in the ’60s. He’s exploring. He’s spending more time exploring than doing the things he should be doing.” A dozen years earlier, he’d have been a hippie; a dozen years later, a slacker. But who had patience for such guys during the power-tie yuppie decade? Married once and divorced during the ’70s, says Black, “Most of my friends have gotten married.” Over the years, he’s had the chance to observe and take notes on weddings and their future prospects—though not, he avows, as material for One Slight Hitch. Still, that doesn’t stop him from laying out the critical odds: “The real problem I had going to weddings was, ‘This is not going to work!’ ” And what is Black’s success ratio in predicting failed marriages? “I’m pretty good,” he chuckles. “I’m about 70 percent with that.” E bmiller@seattleweekly.com ONE SLIGHT HITCH ACT Theatre, 700 Union St., 292-7676, acttheatre.org. $15–$55. Opens 7:30 p.m. Thurs., June 14. Runs Tues.–Sun. through July 8.

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Seattle w ee kly • JUN E 13–19, 2012

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CENTER HOUSE THEATRE, 305 HARRISON ST. (SEATTLE CENTER), 733-8222, SEATTLESHAKESPEARE.ORG. $15– $40. RUNS THURS.–SUN. ENDS JUNE 24.

A motif of decay appropriately binds the closing comedy of Seattle Shakes’ “into the woods”–themed season. Grime conquers the windowpanes at evil Duke Frederick’s court, and even his young daughter’s and niece’s Restoration-era wigs are tinged with ash and gray tones. Patches of old snow linger amid the birch trunks of Craig B. Wollam’s set, dashing hopes for warm renewal (we know how that feels!). Upon this morbid canvas is splashed some wonderfully vital acting, including Hana Lass as Rosalind, a role that requires intelligence, energy, and a lightning tongue. Darragh Kennan has become so iconic on local stages that it took some effort to adjust to him as Touchstone, the wise fool who falls for country bumpkin Audrey (Donna Wood). Hannah Mootz gathers a bounty of low-hanging comedic fruit as sneering/swooning/conniving Phebe, who’s smitten with Rosalind-as-swain-Ganymede while dodging bumpkin Silvius (David Brown-King). Directed by George Mount, As You Like It pushes gracefully through its mistakenidentity plot. In brief: Orlando and Rosalind fall in love, two pairs of brothers quarrel, Rosalind hides in drag as Ganymede, lots of crushes develop in the forest, love miraculously fixes character flaws, and there’s even an offstage lion attack! All in 165 minutes. Many of the pleasures here are are auditory, from sound designer Robertson Witmer’s interstitial tone poems to original music by local songwriter Sarah McGuinn for guitar, Jon Lutyens’ slightly off-key voice, and ukelele. At the height of amorous confusion, choreographer Crystal Dawn Munkers’ lovely pas de many illustrates this tangle of romantic attractions and shifting partnerings. Doris Black’s costumes do some serious time travel: Celia and Rosalind end their forest adventure in what appear to be Titanic-era togs (perhaps in accordance with sylvan physics). Plenty of enchanting elements here suspend disbelief safely above the perilous late-spring icicles. MARGARET FRIEDMAN

P A Paper Trail

ON THE BOARDS, 100 W. ROY ST., 217-9886, ONTHEBOARDS.ORG. $14– $30 (RSVP ALSO REQUIRED). 5:30 P.M. SUN., JUNE 17.

KT Niehoff wants us to write her a letter. Several letters, actually, over the course of the next 16 months. In A Paper Trail, which debuted at the NW New Works Festival last weekend, audience members are given clipboards and asked to write one of the performers. The current audio already has text, but in future performances, you may hear your own words read back to you. For her previous multipart performance work, Glimmer, Niehoff took her cast out of the theater and set them dancing in venues all over the city, striving to erase the boundaries between performers and audiences. For Paper Trail, the first episode in the 16-month project Collision Theory, she has the audience sneak up the back stairs and into the theater. There, situated among the seats, small individual platforms keep her dancers turning in on themselves, confined to these mini-stages. We hesitate to get close, but then we’re summoned to approach (the dancers wear headset mikes). This is where the writing assignment comes in. Once those are collected, we’re escorted back outside via another set of stairs, thoroughly bemused after 15 minutes of eccentrically beautiful movement. (Three performance cycles will run on Sunday at roughly 20-minute intervals.) Early this spring, Niehoff told me how she wants dancegoers to feel the same kind of engagement people have in water-cooler conversations about Dallas. She cited those elaborate alternative universes fans sometimes construct, imagining themselves a part of a favorite book, movie, or play. Thus the pen pals recruited from Paper Trail will be involved in “dinners, films, letters, fashion shows, visual art, music, and dance”—all leading to a finale at OtB next April with an epilogue at ACT in the fall. A Paper Trail seems to be the first paragraph of a new kind of epistolary art. SANDRA KURTZ

Shear Madness THE MOORE, 1932 SECOND AVE., 877-784-4849, STGPRESENTS.ORG. $40. RUNS TUES.–SUN. ENDS JUNE 24.

Shear Madness bills itself as the longest-running play in U.S. history (since 1980), and you don’t get to that level of popularity without offering

something for everyone. Here, that something is a fairly generic, inoffensive mélange of whodunit and Whose Line Is It, Anyway? It’s an audience-participation show, partly improvised in response, meaning that your enjoyment will be directly proportional to the involvement—or lack thereof—of those seated around you. The plot makes the board game Clue look like a John Grisham novel; with blanks we must fill in like a crossword puzzle, the results are often fun, but rarely funny. There’s been a murder in an apartment above the Shear Madness salon, and only one of those present in the shop when the mystery opens could be the killer. Who it will be depends largely on audience vote; the show has multiple endings to accommodate any potential assailant. Taken as an amusement in the dinnertheater/murder-mystery vein, Shear Madness is all well and good, but the creators double down on dumbing down. This traveling production leaves openings throughout the text where the visiting troupe can insert witty regional asides about, say, Tukwila, Starbucks, or the Sonics. (The program even lists the salon’s location as Capitol Hill.) As at Applebee’s, there really is something for everyone here. Trouble is, none of it’s very appetizing.

Shear Madness: Ditmyer and Conk contemplate the killing.

stage@seattleweekly.com

Seattle w ee kly • JUN E 13–19, 2012

Shear Madness began life as a more conventional German murder mystery called Scherenschnitt (by Paul Pörtner). What Bruce Jordan and Marilyn Abrams added is a sketchcomedy/improv approach that keeps the show chugging forward in search of yucks. And because the performers are often trying to crack one another up, there’s a good-natured bonhomie that entertains even when the jokes fall flat. Among the cast, Mary Ann Conk seems to be having a particular blast with her Lily Tomlin–inspired take on hairdresser Barbara. Joe Ditmyer turns the smarm/charm up to 11 to play “used antiques dealer” Eddie (with more than a passing resemblance to John Edwards). Patrick Noonan holds the show together as head interrogator Nick. There are so many gimmicks, and the show tries so hard, that Shear Madness could safely entertain several busloads from the old folks’ home without fear of heart attacks. But watching it, I kept remembering what someone once told me about Quentin Tarantino movies: “They’re both good and original. Unfortunately, that which is good isn’t original, and that which is original isn’t good.” KEVIN PHINNEY E

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Joseph Stiglitz:Economic Policy

Wednesday, 6/13 at 7:30 pm

Why This? Why That? Why Now?

Daniel Chamovitz:Plants Know

The popular series on the latest trends returns for a third year.

Daniel Duane:Cook Like a Man

Thursday, 6/14 at 6 pm Friday, 6/15 at 6 pm

Seattle Symphony Untuxed

Seattle weekly • JU N E 13–19, 2012

This is not your grandma’s symphony! Last year’s surprise hit is back for an encore performance.

Letters to Kurt A collection of letters by former Hole guitarist Eric Erlandson, written to his late friend Kurt Cobain.

3-DAY ADMISSION $110

Dan Ariely: About Dishonesty

SINGLE DAY $40

Wash. News Cncl Hearing

NEED FLEXIBILITY?

ANY DAY TICKETS $45 Plus fees, for a limited time only.

Friday, 6/15 at 7:30 pm

Lake Union Civic Orchestra

Saturday, 6/16 at 9 am

Sunday, 6/17 at 7:30 pm

E.J.Dionne:Me-first vs.America

Monday, 6/18 at 7:30 pm

Public Safety Community Conversation

Monday, 6/18 at 7:30 pm

See the full lineup and buy tickets online:

BUMBERSHOOT.ORG

Samuel Popkin: How to Win and Hold the White House

Tuesday, 6/19 at 7:30 pm

Joshua Roman, Mason Bates & An All-Cello Ensemble

Tuesday, 6/19 at 7:30 pm

Andrew Blum: Journey to the Center of the Internet www.townhallseattle.org

arts»Performance BY GAVIN BORCHERT

Stage OPENINGS & EVENTS

THE AMEN CORNER A reading of James Baldwin’s play,

sponsored by advocacy group Project1VOICE. Epiphany Parish of Seattle, 1805 38th Ave., 800-838-3000, project 1voice.org. Free. 7 p.m. Mon., June 18. THE ANITA GOODMANN EXPERIENCE The longrunning surreal comedy/variety show comes to a close. JewelBox/Rendezvous, 2322 Second Ave., theanita goodmannexperience.com. $10. 8:30 p.m. Thurs., June 14. CABARGAY! A QUEER CABARET Hosted by EmpeROAR Fabulous. Re-bar, 1114 Howell St., 233-9873, cabargayaqueercabaret.eventbrite.com. 21 and over. $15 adv./$17 at door. 7:30 p.m. Fri., June 15. DIVAS TAKE THE HILL A “fabulous drag & variety wedding show” to benefit LGBTQ causes. Velocity Dance Center, 1621 12th Ave., 800-838-3006, brownpaper tickets.com. $10–$15. 7:30 p.m. Thurs., June 14. FROZEN Gesamtkunstwerk! presents Bryony Lavery’s play a clef about a pedophile serial killer. Boom! Theater, 429 Fairview Ave. N., 888-887-3548, thatgtheatre.com. $12–$18. Preview June 14, opens June T H I S CO D E 15. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Sat. plus TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE June 24 & 25. Ends June 29.

SCAN

SEATTLE WEEKLY

IPHONE/ANDROID APP FOR MORE EVENTS OR VISIT

INTERNATIONAL FESTIVAL OF IMPROV

Evening performances June 13–17; see unexpected productions.org for schedule and full details. Market Theatre, 1428 Post Alley. JESUS HOPPED THE A TRAIN Stephen Adly Guirgis’ examination of religious faith among Riker’s Island inmates. ACT Theatre, 700 Union St., 292-7676, azotheatre.org. $25–$30. Preview June 14, opens June 15. 7:30 p.m. Thurs.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sat.–Sun. Ends June 30. ONE SLIGHT HITCH SEE PREVIEW, PAGE 18. BRIAN POSEHN SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 17. RENT SPOTLIGHT NIGHT A preview of the 5th’s production (July 21–Aug. 19) of the popular musical. Free, but call 625-1900 or visit 5thavenue.org to reserve tickets. 5th Avenue Theatre, 1308 Fifth Ave. 7 p.m. Wed., June 20. TEATRO ZINZANNI: GANGSTERS OF LOVE The dinner cabaret goes back to the ’20s. Teatro ZinZanni, 222 Mercer St., 802-0015, zinzanni.org. $76 and up. Opens June 14. 6:30 p.m. Wed.–Sat., 5:30 p.m. Sun. Ends Sept. 30. [TITLE OF SHOW] A quick revival of a favorite show from Balagan’s past season, a musical about two guys who write a musical. Balagan Theatre, 1117 E. Pike St., 800-838-3006, balagantheatre.org. $15–$20. 8 p.m. Fri., June 15 & Sun., June 17, 2 & 8 p.m. Sat., June 16. seattleweekly.com

Cuba”), pseudo-educational tourist traps, and stagy snapshots are leavened by Ryan Childers’ many bit parts, ranging from pig farmer to Amish junk dealer. Directed by Karen Lund, Leaving Iowa pays affectionate tribute to all parents who’ve endured ghastly family trips with the faith that someday it’d mean something to their kids. MARGARET FRIEDMAN Taproot Theatre, 204 N. 85th St., 781-9707, taproottheatre.org. $15–$37. 7:30 p.m. Wed.–Thurs., 8 p.m. Fri., 2 & 8 p.m. Sat. Ends June 16. THE MAGICAL LAND OF OZ Young actors travel back down the Yellow Brick Road. Stone Soup Theatre, 4035 Stone Way N.E., 800-838-3006, stonesouptheatre.com. $16. 7:30 p.m. Fri., 2 p.m. Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. Ends June 17. RIDDLED Marya Sea Kaminski wants to say something about guns. Or daddy issues. Or abuse. Or something. Kaminski’s heroine, sharing a tiny stage with a band calling itself Bonnie Clyde, tells a story, with musical numbers, of an abusive, gun-loving father. This is not an evening of moral clarity or dramatic closure. It feels like Kaminski shot her laptop, and the words—sometimes poetic—came bleeding out. MARGARET FRIEDMAN Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave., 322-7030, hugohouse.org. $15–$20. 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat. Ends June 23. SEUSSICAL A mashup of Dr. Seuss’ two Horton the Elephant stories and more. Broadway Performance Hall, 1625 Broadway, 526-KIDS. $17.50. Runs Fri.–Sun.; see broadwaybound.org for exact schedule. Ends June 17. SHEAR MADNESS SEE REVIEW, PAGE 20. SWEET NOTHING Subtitled a (grim) fairytale, Stephanie Timm’s play “explores the repercussions of violence and war through a fairy-tale lens.” Annex Theatre, 1100 E. Pike St., machamonkey.org. $15–$18. 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat. Ends June 23. For many more Current Runs, see seattleweekly.com.

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Rainier Valley Cultural Arts Center, 3515 S. Alaska St., 800-838-3006, brownpapertickets.com. $10–$20. 8 p.m. Fri., June 15–Sat., June 16. NW NEW WORKS FESTIVAL The festival continues with a second performance of KT Niehoff’s interactive dance piece A Paper Trail (see review, page 20) and a half-dozen other works. On the Boards, 100 W. Roy St., 217-9886, ontheboards.org. $14–$30. 8 p.m. Fri., June 15, 5 & 8 p.m. Sat., June 16–Sun., June 17. PNB DAY OF DANCE PNB School students perform at 1:30 p.m. ($25–$70); “Next Step” at 7 p.m. features new work choreographed by PNB dancers and performed by Professional Division Students ($10–$20). McCaw Hall, Seattle Center, 441-2424, pnb.org. Sat., June 16.

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Classical, Etc.

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Send events to stage@seattleweekly.com, dance@seattleweekly.com, or classical@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings. = Recommended

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• COMPOSER SPOTLIGHT Members of the Seattle Jazz

Composers Ensemble talk about big-band composing and performing. Jack Straw Studios, 4261 Roosevelt Way N.E., jackstraw.org. Free. 7:30 p.m. Wed., June 13. SEATTLE SYMPHONY Bernstein, Ives, and Rachmaninoff’s Third Concerto (the piece that drove David Helfgott mad!), played by Stephen Hough. Ludovic Morlot conducts. Benaroya Hall, 200 University St., 215-4747, seattle symphony.org. $17–$125. 7:30 p.m. Thurs., June 14, noon Fri., June 15, 8 p.m. Sat., June 16, 2 p.m. Sun., June 17. JACK STRAW’S 50TH ANNIVERSARY Seattle’s center for sound art of all kinds—from music to spoken-word to noisemaking installations—celebrates with 25 hours of performance, 7 p.m. Fri. to 8 p.m. Sat., including Seattle Baroque Soloists, One World Taiko, Riz Rollins, and tons more. (Also broadcast on Hollow Earth Radio.) Jack Straw Studios, 4261 Roosevelt Way N.E., jackstraw.org. Free. Fri., June 15. LAKE UNION CIVIC ORCHESTRA Tchaikovsky’s Violin Concerto and Sixth Symphony. Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave., 343-LUCO, luco.org. $10–$15. 7:30 p.m. Fri., June 15. OPERA ON TAP Opera favorites in an informal atmosphere. This month, “Forbidden Opera” explores the genre’s sordid underbelly. The Pink Door, 1919 Post Alley, operaontap.com/seattle. Donation. 9 p.m. Fri., June 15. PUBLIC OPERA Opera faves from four singers. Basil’s Kitchen, 300 112th Ave. S.E., Bellevue, 425-455-1300, publicopera.com. $35. 6 p.m. Sun., June 17. CANDLELIGHT CONCERTS Chamber music by Mozart and Huntley Beyer. University Christian Church, N.E. 50th St. & 15th Ave. N.E., 800-838-3006, brownpapertickets. com. $15–$20. 7:30 p.m. Sun., June 17. JOSHUA ROMAN He leads a cello ensemble in music by Mason Bates, Strauss, and more. Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave., townhallseattle.org. $10–$20. 7:30 p.m. Tues., June 19. RESONATE The Passenger String Quartet, Hey Marseilles, a new dance work, a Beethoven cello sonata, and more on this eclectic program. Fremont Abbey Arts Center, 4272 Fremont Ave. N., fremontabbey.org. $10–$16. 8 p.m. Tues., June 19.

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Seattle w ee kly • JUN E 13–19, 2012

“The World’s Most Elusive Culinary Museum” and savor five courses plus wine. Washington Hall, 153 14th Ave., 800-838-3006, cafenordo.com. $60–$80. 7:30 p.m. Thurs. & Sun., 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat. Ends June 23. ENTERTAINING MR. SLOANE Playwright Joe Orton’s work requires a firm grasp of English dialects; only when these are solidly in place can a comedy about homicidal class warfare support Orton’s vicious satire. Otherwise it’s an evening of three acts and the occasional can’tmiss joke. KEVIN PHINNEY Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave., 800-838-3006, schmeater.org. $15–$23. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Sat. Ends June 16. LEAVING IOWA Tim Clue and Spike Manton’s familyfriendly memory play follows Don (Ian Lindsay) on his search for a fitting place to scatter his dad’s ashes. (This after he discovers Grandma’s house has become a supermarket.) The cute but bloated story—much of which takes place in the family car against an Iowa bumper-sticker backdrop—is saved by a crackerjack cast, which brings energetic nuance to a repetitious text. Helen Harvester is a standout as Don’s consummately annoying sister. Tedious car-trip rituals like the “family vote” (“more predictable than elections in

shearmadnessontour.com

ANAR Traditional dance from the Middle East and beyond.

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AS YOU LIKE IT SEE REVIEW, PAGE 20. CAFÉ NORDO’S CABINET OF CURIOSITIES Tour

Through June 24 The Moore Theatre

Dance

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CURRENT RUNS

Fi n a l Week!

arts»Visual Arts BY GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT

Openings & Events VICTORIA ADAMS In a series of recent paintings titled

Sky Journal, she contemplates time and existence through scenes of the natural world that aim to “evoke the quiet experience of being one individual in that same ancient continuum of time.” Reception Thurs., June 14, 5:30–8:30 p.m. Woodside Braseth Gallery, 2101 Ninth Ave., 622-7243, woodsidebrasethgallery.com. Opens June 14. Tues.–Sat., 11 a.m.–6 p.m. Through July 7.

BIG AND BOLD: AN EXHIBITION OF SIZABLE ARTWORKS Big and Bold examines the bigger = better

formula through some of the largest artworks in the city’s Portable Works Collection. Ten artists include Guy Anderson, Mike Hascall, and William Hoppe. Seattle Municipal Tower Gallery, 700 Fifth Ave., 684-7171, seattle.gov/arts. Mon.–Fri., 7 a.m.–7 p.m. Through Sept. 28.

BIG COUNTRY: AUSTRALIAN ABORIGINAL ART COAST TO COAST On view at the new exhibition

space at 1331 Fifth Ave. (the former downtown Foster/ White Gallery space), the gallery celebrates the expansion with this show, offering more than 100 works in three separate locations. The show is pegged to SAM’s new Ancient Modern: Australian Aboriginal Art from the Kaplan Levy Collection. Note reception Thurs., June 21, 5:30–8 p.m. Jeffrey Moose Gallery, 1333 Fifth Ave., 467-6951, jeffreymoosegallery.com. Mon.–Fri., 10 a.m.– 6 p.m.; Sat., 12:30–5 p.m. Through Sept. 1. BLITZ! CAPITOL HILL ART WALK Check out the participating galleries and stores on Pike and Pine Streets, including Vermillion, Ltd. Gallery, True Love Art Gallery, Photo Center NW, Fetherston Gallery, and Rosebud, which will extend their hours to feature art, music, and more. See blitzcapitolhill.com for full details. 5–8 p.m. Thurs., June 14. MATT CALCAVECCHIA Mama’s Boy: Paintings of Motherdom features scenes of mothers, women, and children in various media, including altered antique photos and reconstructed oil and watercolor paintings. Opening party Thurs., June 14 during the West Seattle

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Send events to visualarts@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings = Recommended

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TheFussyeye » by brian miller

If you weren’t aware, women’s boxing will be contested at the London Olympic Games this summer. Bad enough for men to risk concussion, but there’s equality for you. The sport comes to mind at Margaret Meehan’s new show, mostly photography, called The Pugilist. Like Cindy Sherman or Matthew Barney, she makes herself the subject, though these are hardly self-portraits. Instead, she’s covered herself mostly in fine white hair—like an animal or albino circus freak. (She could be Chewbacca’s pale cousin from another planet.) Makeup, not a fist, supplies the bruises and cuts. The poses and wardrobe are archaic, Victorian-by-wayof-Arbus, recalling photography’s early

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days, when you had to sit still for minutes to gain a proper exposure. Women couldn’t box back then, though pugilists were often photographed— weirdly static, like Greek statuary—as anatomy models. Meehan also has reversed the colors: Instead of Victorian black, everything is whiteon-white except for the lipstick and blood. The bearded lady was once a staple of the carnival, a slightly less scandalous attraction than the hermaphrodite who lifts her skirt. In just a few mysterious images—culled from a larger show in Austin, where the UW-trained artist now teaches—Meehan suggests several meanings and reversals. Anything forbidden is a means to power (or transgression, if you prefer), and a century ago, nothing could be more “unladylike” than boxing. The fur just makes it that much more outlandish. That’s why Meehan’s expression of calm, bloodied accomplishment grabs your eye. Whatever abuse she’s taken in the ring, she still has the look of a victor. Soil Gallery, 112 Third Ave. S. (Tashiro Kaplan Building), 264-8061, soilart.org. Noon– 5 p.m. Wed.–Sat. Ends June 30. MARGARET MEEHAN

Seattle weekly • JU N E 13–19, 2012

Taking Off the Gloves

Art Walk, 6–9 p.m. Twilight Artist Collective, 4306 S.W. Alaska St., 933-2444, twilightart.net. Opens June 14. Mon. & Wed.–Fri., 11 a.m.–7 p.m.; Sat.–Sun., 10 a.m.– 6 p.m. Through July 6. WARREN DYKEMAN & RICHARD HUTTER The two locals show new work. Note opening reception Wed., June 13 at 5 p.m. Taste Restaurant, 1300 First Ave., 903-5291, tastesam.com. Tues.–Sat., 10:30 a.m.–5 p.m. Through Oct. 7. SPENCER MOODY Free Guns for the Cops is a series of silk-screens on themes of police violence crafted by the local musician (of Seattle garage bands Murder City Devils and Triumph of Lethargy). Opening reception Thurs., June 14, 8–11 p.m. Solo, 200 Roy St., 213-0080, solo-bar.com. Opens June 14. Mon.–Sun., 5 p.m.–2 a.m. Through July 16. NO BOUNDARIES: MEMORIES AND VISIONS The 20th-anniversary traveling show features the work of established and emerging artists with disabilities. Wikstrom Brothers Gallery, 5411 Meridian Ave. N., 633-5544, bromwikstrom.com. Thurs.–Sat., noon–5 p.m. Through July 14. PCNW THESIS EXHIBITION Graduating students Mary Callahan and Ray Deardorf present their best shots. Note artist reception Thurs., June 14, 6–8 p.m. Photographic Center Northwest, 900 12th Ave., 720-7222, pcnw.org. Fri.–Sun., noon–8 p.m.; Mon.–Thurs., 11 a.m.– 10 p.m. Through July 15. PLEIN AIR INVITATIONAL Working in a variety of media are locals Mitchell Albala, Kathryn Altus, Joel Brock, Terry Furchgott, Victoria Johnson, Ed Kamuda, Karen Kosoglad, Gregg Laananen, Kent Lovelace, John McCormick, Richard Morhous, Nick Orban, Kim Osgood, Christine Sharp, Lois Silver, Wendy Thon, Thomas Workman, and Thomas Wood. Opening reception Sat., June 16, 4–6 p.m. Lisa Harris Gallery, 1922 Pike Place, 443-3315, lisaharrisgallery.com. Opens June 14. Mon.– Sat., 10:30 a.m.–5:30 p.m.; Sun., 11 a.m.–4 p.m. Through July 30. CHRIS ROBERTS The artist presents his Hotel Art painting series. Opening reception Thurs., June 14, 6–9 p.m., during the Blitz Capitol Hill Art Walk. Blindfold Gallery, 1718 E. Olive Way, 328-5100. Opens June 14. Wed.–Sat., 1–7 p.m.; Sun., noon–4 p.m. Through July 8. WEST SEATTLE ART WALK More than 60 venues showcase local art every second Thursday, including Youngstown Cultural Arts Center, ArtsWest, and Twilight Artist Collective. 6–9 p.m. Thurs., June 14.

film»This Week’s Attractions

T r av e l & a dv e n T u r e loosely fictionalizes lived experience (the director’s) in order to capture the ineffable—in this case, emotional maturation, or, as Sullivan phrases it, “becom[ing] a real person.” KARINA LONGWORTH

Hysteria OPENS FRI., JUNE 15 AT HARVARD EXIT. RATED R. 95 MINUTES.

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“PART TRAVELOGUE, PART SPIRITUAL QUEST…a filmic fusion of the outer and inner journeys riders experience, taken to physical and mental extremes.” - Susan Carpenter, The Los Angeles Times

IFC/SUNDANCE SELECTS

The origin story of a beloved bedroom gadget, Hysteria, set in London in the 1880s, proceeds as a tedious, clumsy diddle, constantly reminding viewers how much progress has been made since the Victorian era. “You may be unaware, but there is a social revolution underfoot!” suffragette and East End settlement-house volunteer Charlotte (Maggie Gyllenhaal) clamors in a typical harangue to her father, Dr. Robert Dalrymple (Jonathan Pryce), a specialist in women’s medicine. To cure respectable ladies of the title ailment, the physician deploys “vulvar massage” (the actual procedure of the time) until the patient reaches “satisfactory paroxysm.” The irony, underscored repeatedly in this historylesson-as-comedy, is that these learned men of science believed the relief they provided was only physical, never sexual. To assist him in his extremely popular practice, Dalrymple hires Mortimer Granville (Hugh Dancy), an idealistic doctor—and real person, on whom this film is loosely based—who opens the film lecturing a leech-using supervisor on what germs are, and who is roused by Gyllenhaal’s firebrand. But so much repetitive motion gives Mortimer severe hand cramps, leading to the creation, with his Wildean, gadgetloving friend Edmund (Rupert Everett), of the vibrator. This device, known as “Granville’s hammer,” aptly suggests the bluntness of Hysteria. MELISSA ANDERSON

Yo u ’ r e g o i n g p l a c e s

Bel Ami RUNS FRI., JUNE 15–THURS., JUNE 21 AT HARVARD EXIT. RATED R. 102 MINUTES.

Goodbye First Love RUNS FRI., JUNE 15–THURS., JUNE 21 AT NORTHWEST FILM FORUM. NOT RATED. 110 MINUTES.

Writer/director Mia Hansen-Løve’s lifeinspired feature begins in 1999, when protagonist Camille (Lola Créton), a highly emotional high-school girl in love, is 15, and tracks her through her mid-20s as she’s establishing a career. We first follow Camille through her all-consuming romance with Sullivan (Sebastian Urzendowsky), a slightly older dreamboat. He scoots around Paris on a bike and visits her by appearing, suddenly, at her bedroom window. He adores her but remains enigmatic; while she lives for their moments together, he’s looking to his future. When Sullivan takes off on a backpacking trip to South America, leaving Camille behind to finish high school, she’s devastated; their attempts to keep in touch only push Camille deeper into depression. She hits bottom—and then with a cut, Hansen-Løve jumps a few years ahead. Now an architecture student living in a romantically cramped garret apartment, Camille starts seeing Lorenz (Magne-Håvard Brekke), the 40-something bohemian-genius prof who helped awaken her intellect much as Sullivan flipped a switch and turned on her feelings. “I have a vocation,” Camille writes in her diary. “Isn’t that enormous?” Emboldened by this new “reason to live,” Camille puts the past behind her. And then the past, in the form of Sullivan, comes back. Like Hansen-Løve’s last film, Father of My Children, Goodbye First Love

He led them into the Himalayas to face their fears and find their truth. WINNER

WINNER

AUDIENCE CHOICE San Diego Film Festival

WINNER

SPOTLIGHT AWARD Topanga Film Festival

BEST DOCUMENTARY Naples Film Festival

“

The highesT Pass is wiThin us. This journey is To realize ThaT. - Anand, Sattva Yoga Guru

“

”

…A WILD RIDE…

- Bonnie Burkert, BUZZINE

Keyhole OPENS FRI., JUNE 15 AT SIFF FILM CENTER. NOT RATED. 93 MINUTES.

Shot mostly in black-and-white by local cinematographer Ben Kasulke, Guy Maddin’s latest feels like a rehash of all his prior films (My Winnipeg, Brand Upon the Brain!, etc.). It’s a cluttered ghost house of memory and regret, stuffed with curios, taxidermy wolverines, and a few recognizable stars. Isabella Rossellini is back from The Saddest Music in the World. Here’s Jason Patric, who doesn’t have much better to do. Look—there’s Kevin McDonald from The Kids in the Hall. And for eccentricity’s sake, Udo Kier pops up in a few minor scenes. The text, sort of, is Ulysses’ return to Penelope in The Odyssey; only here Patric is a 1930s-style gangster and the wife (Rossellini) is sequestered upstairs with the naked, chain-rattling ghost of her father.

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 27

www.thehighestpass.com EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT STARTS FRIDAY JUNE 15TH REGAL MERIDIAN 16 1501 7th Ave. • Seattle • www.regmovies.com SPECIAL Q&A

with Anand, Producer Adam Schomer & Rider Eric Braff on FRI 6/15 & SAT 6/16 following the prime time show. Please check www.thehighestpass.com for specific details.

Seattle w ee kly • JUN E 13–19, 2012

What could be hotter than a bed-hopping bodice-ripper in which the movie hunk of the moment plows through three of the sexiest actresses of the 1990s? Most everything, it turns out. This tepid adaptation of Guy de Maupassant’s novel tells the story of Georges Duroy (Robert Pattinson), an ex-military commoner who becomes a millionaire by bedding and manipulating some of the most influential women of Paris. After making a mistress of Clotilde de Marelle (Christina Ricci), Duroy schemes his way into marrying power-broker widow Madeleine Forestier (Uma Thurman) and turning the churchgoing Virginie Walters (Kristin Scott Thomas) into a writhe-on-thefloor love slave. But his drive is less about sex than class conquest, a truth that filmmakers Declan Donnellan and Nick Ormerod honor all too much, giving short shrift to the libidinous magnetism that makes Duroy’s ascent possible—carnivorous glances are apparently all it takes. Not helping matters is the vacant Pattinson, who seems hidden behind a mask of his own face, uncertain what to do with the blessings of his hyperbolic brows and aqua eyes. There’s something off and inorganic about the Twilight star’s expressions, as if that pretty mug were programmatically hitting marks rather than moving, reacting, emoting. Still, the camera dotes on him, but it’s the ladies who are worth tracking here, from Ricci’s understated sensuality to Thomas’ fragile angularity. They’ve supplemented beauty with good old-fashioned acting chops, something their cover-boy co-star would be wise to emulate. ERIC HYNES

Créton as love-struck teen in Goodbye First Love.

Seattle weekly • JU N E 13–19, 2012

film» This Week’s Attractions » FROM PAGE 25

stringing occasional sharp jokes and sincere observations together with clothes-changing montages, real-estate porn, and ill-advised expositional dialogue. But it gets looser, weirder, and better. About halfway through, a hilariously cringeworthy sex scene (set to Ani DiFranco, no less) brings Wein’s gambit into focus: Beyond subverting or satirizing the modern lady-in-crisis movie, he has made a big, broad stoner comedy, shot and performed naturalistically, from a woman’s point of view. Narratively, it’s not a huge shock where the film ultimately goes, but there are a number of fun surprises along the way. KARINA LONGWORTH

Downstairs, gangsters and gun molls quarrel, and Ulysses’ four kids are gradually introduced, all with legitimate grudges against their pa. A half-drowned girl serves as the medium in this seance-as-movie, which suggests that past hurts can never be repaired or forgiven. “Our house is a strange labyrinth,” says the ghost—but in Greek mythology, the labyrinth actually leads somewhere. Theseus does eventually kill the Minotaur, and there are consequences. Here, Maddin merely sends ghosts looking for ghosts. Ulysses is condemned to exile without hope for return.

P Last Days Here

RUNS FRI., JUNE 15–THURS., JUNE 21 AT GRAND ILLUSION. NOT RATED. 91 MINUTES.

Lola Versus OPENS FRI., JUNE 15 AT MERIDIAN, SUNDANCE CINEMAS, AND LINCOLN SQUARE. RATED R. 86 MINUTES.

Smart but spacey, naturally luminous and yet legitimately awkward, Greta Gerwig is perfectly cast in director Daryl Wein’s romantictailspin comedy as a manic mess whose coping mechanisms include juice cleansing one week, double-fisting 40s the next, and impulsively rebounding with a best male friend (Hamish Linklater) before showing up at the ex’s loft to beg for weed. Directed by Wein from a screenplay by Wein and Zoe Lister Jones (who also co-stars as a diva pal), the film lurches as unevenly as its heroine,

More star power than story: Gerwig as Lola.

Rock of Ages OPENS FRI., JUNE 15 AT PACIFIC PLACE AND OTHER THEATERS. RATED PG-13. 123 MINUTES.

In this star-clogged pop-musical diversion (based on a jukebox musical built around an afternoon of VH1 Classics’ worth of ’80s hair metal), Tom Cruise has the advantage of playing one of those built-up parts, like Harry Lime or Hickey in The Iceman Cometh. Everyone in the first act talks up “Stacee Jaxx,” so he can’t help but be impressive by the time he shows up—a fine fit for a star who by now can only be really convincing as a star. Cruise is a dynamic, kabuki-esque, full-body performer, and he gives Jaxx something between the boozy silverback swagger of Jim Morrison and Glenn Danzig’s armored-car presence. The original author of the West End stage show, Chris D’Arienzo, is joined for the screenplay by Justin Theroux and Allan Loeb, and they have drafted something that combines elements of Menahem Golan’s The Apple, Empire Records, the Guns N’ Roses video for “Welcome to the Jungle,” and Tipper Gore’s ’80s career as PMRC scold. Choreographer/director Adam Shankman (Hairspray) keeps things assaultively lively, hot-potatoing songs around the cast—including Julianne Hough, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Russell Brand, Paul Giamatti, and Malin Akerman—and cross-cutting in Frankensteined mashups. A key plot point depends on the belief that there’s more artistic integrity in being a member of, say, Poison, than of New Kids on the Block—as if hair metal were not bone-stupid, creatively bankrupt, morally debased pop trash that marked an all-time low in record-label chart manipulation and synthetic hit-making hackery. NICK PINKERTON

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 28

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Seattle w ee kly • JUN E 13–19, 2012

When we’re first introduced to emaciated, bug-eyed, trembling Bobby Liebling, the 50-ish frontman of the frequently dormant cult metal band Pentagram and the subject of this small-scale but weirdly engrossing documentary, he’s showing off his past stage outfits: perfectly preserved hip-huggers purchased in 1967, “paisley shit,” chiffon scarves. “I was saving them for when I got big. And that never happened, so I saved them forever,” the crack, heroin, and meth addict says in the sub-basement of his parents’ Germantown, Maryland, home, where he has resided for decades. In the kitchen, Liebling’s chainsmoking mother seems inured to the fact that her son will become a rock-and-roll suicide. But he promises his chroniclers, Don Argott and Demian Fenton, that he will not die: “If you guys want me around, I’ll stick around.” That, astonishingly, he does, even managing to get his career back on track, provides the arc of Last Days Here, an affectionate look at a self-destructing maniac and his supporters which bluntly reveals Liebling’s total abjection without mocking him. Like Argott’s The Art of the Steal (2009), a lively doc on the Barnes Foundation, which was also facing a highly contested, uncertain future at the time, Last Days Here is invested in a subject often one pipe hit away from extinction. Argott and Fenton track Liebling for three years and briskly braid every hopeful moment with its concomitant setback, never resorting to the bottom-feeding rubbernecking that thrives on cable. MELISSA ANDERSON

MYLES ARONOWITZ/FOX SEARCHLIGHT

BRIAN MILLER

film» This Week’s Attractions » FROM PAGE 27 Turn Me On, Dammit! RUNS FRI., JUNE 15–THURS., JUNE 21 AT VARSITY. NOT RATED. 76 MINUTES.

P Your Sister’s Sister

OPENS FRI., JUNE 15 AT EGYPTIAN. RATED R. 90 MINUTES.

Seattle filmmaker Lynn Shelton’s fourth feature is another agreeable exercise in smallscale humanism, an intimate three-hander set mostly in a vacation home in the San Juans. Mark Duplass is back from Humpday as an aging, grieving slacker, Jack, who has an ill-advised, drunken fling with Hannah (Rosemarie DeWitt), the visiting sister of his good friend Iris (Emily Blunt, deglammed with an earflapped ski cap), who arrives to find unexpected tensions in the cabin. In outline,

TADD SACKVILLE-WEST/IFC FILMS

Set in the Norwegian boonies, Jannicke Systad Jacobsen’s debut feature (based on Olaug Nilssen’s 2005 novel) introduces its 15-yearold protagonist Alma (Helene Bergsholm) with her hand down her pants, furiously coming as she listens to a phone-sex operator. Yet the opening scene’s promising boldness is soon undermined by cutaway shots of the family dog looking on puzzled at the frenzy of selfpleasure; like its title, Turn Me On, Dammit! is a jokey pseudo-provocation. Horny fantasist Alma becomes an outcast once she tells her friends that a crush “poked me with his dick” at a party. When not asking audience members to figure out what’s in Alma’s head and what isn’t, Systad Jacobsen, working with a cast of mostly first-time actors, reveals her strengths with the more fully conceived supporting characters. Ingrid (Beate Støfring), responsible for making Alma a pariah, has a great moment singing “Oh, Happy Day” at choir practice; the mean girl’s sister Sara (Malin Bjørhovde) writes letters to inmates on death row in Texas. More a symbol of frustrated, slandered teenage lust than an actual person, Alma—so pale she’s almost translucent—is devoid of these specificities. When she runs away to Oslo for a day, I wished that she could travel back in time to another Scandi capital: Stockholm, to join the fully realized adolescent-girl misfits of Lukas Moodysson’s 1998 Show Me Love. MELISSA ANDERSON

muse who provides Hawke’s lost boy with sanctuary and support. That is, until we begin to get the sense that a healthy but undetermined slice of the film, maybe including an off-screen murder, is actually unspooling in the hero’s frazzled head. You’re not sure what this is until it’s over, but certainly Hawke’s performance is his nerviest and most sincere in a decade. MICHAEL ATKINSON

The Woman in the Fifth

Seattle weekly • JU N E 13–19, 2012

OPENS FRI., JUNE 15 AT SIFF CINEMA UPTOWN. RATED R. 84 MINUTES.

The first film from émigré director Pawel Pawlikowski since 2004’s dreamy My Summer of Love, this thoroughly odd and brooding psycho-puzzle trains in on Ethan Hawke’s displaced American writer/academic, arrived in Paris to see his ex-wife and young daughter despite a restraining order, a recent hospital stay, and a history of violence. Behind his thick-lensed Buddy Hollys and air of vague disconnection, the man seems oblivious to his situation, which just grows more dire once he’s robbed of his luggage and must take an off-the-books job video-monitoring a dope den’s entrance just to pay for a hovel above a café. London-based Pawlikowski is peerless at contemporary fish-out-of-water discomfiture (a la 2000’s Last Resort), and visually his style is a hypnotic cataract of offbeat compositions, luminous light studies, and abrupt-cut naturalism. But the film’s story seems to jump its ghostly rails with the mysterious introduction of Kristin Scott Thomas as an elliptical lover/

Blunt and Duplass have secrets to spill in Your Sister’s Sister.

Your Sister’s Sister could be a bed-hopping farce, but Shelton is less concerned with the sex than the emotional fallout. Hannah was recently dumped by her girlfriend. Jack’s dead brother once dated Iris, the high achiever in the bunch. As with Humpday and her prior My Effortless Brilliance, Shelton’s characters tend to be yearning and groping toward change in their lives: Jack seems harnessed by grief or bitterness; Hannah worries that she’s too old, that she’ll never have kids; and Iris has a secret to spill. Shelton lets her cast improvise on the three characters’ longing and confusion— resulting in meandering scenes without clever punch lines or clear end points. Instead, Shelton uses scenic island montage sequences for punctuation. Feelings take priority over words, and when her characters gush, they gush. (“I am emotionally, at best, precarious and at worst a cripple . . . ”) Your Sister’s Sister is talky and naturalistic, with many moments of humor and truth—the latter often eloquently expressed with silence. BRIAN MILLER E film@seattleweekly.com

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See reviews of Extraterrestrial, The Highest Pass, and That’s My Boy.

film» BY BRIAN MILLER

Local Film • THE BEST OF SIFF See siff.net for the full schedule of

titles being reprised so soon after the festival. Standouts among the 17 titles (plus a package of shorts) include Fat Kid Rules the World, King Curling, and The Invader. (NR) SIFF Cinema Uptown, $5-$10, June 15-21. BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA John Carpenter’s Big Trouble in Little China (1986) is an enjoyable mashup of classic Westerns, Saturday-morning serials, and more Chinese wuxia than any of the Indiana Jones movies, with Kurt Russell in full bloom as Carpenter’s de rigueur hard-drinkin’, hard-gamblin’, wise-crackin’ loner hero—a bowling-alley John Wayne. When I was all of eight, this seemed like just about the greatest movie ever made, and like much of Carpenter’s work, it has aged well. Call for showtimes. (PG-13) SCOTT FOUNDAS Central Cinema, $6-$8, June 15-20. CLIFFHANGER Sylvester Stallone is none too convincing as a mountain climber in this 1993 action flick, directed by Renny Harlin. (R) Central Cinema, $6-$8, Wed., June 13, 7 p.m. FROM HERE TO ETERNITY SAM’s Pride Month tribute to Montgomery Clift continues with Fred Zinnemann’s 1953 adaptation of the sprawling James Jones novel, set in Hawaii just before Pearl Harbor. There’s a reason the famous surfside smooch between Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr is so endlessly quoted and parodied. It’s one of the most classic images in cinema, an illicit interlude that can’t last, an adulterous clinch just before the world goes to hell. The film earned eight Oscars, and it’s a marvel of script condensation—still the towering model that Pearl Harbor, Tora! Tora! Tora!, and even The Thin Red Line sought to reach. Then there’s that majestic cast, which also includes Frank Sinatra, Ernest Borgnine, and Donna Reed (who earned an Oscar). (NR) BRIAN MILLER Seattle Art Museum, 1300 First Ave., 654-3100, seattleartmuseum.org, $8, Fri., June 15, 7:30 p.m.

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THE SURREAL PUPPET • JAN ŠVANKMAJER: SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 17.

POET KOCH BROTHERS EXPOSED Meet those zany right-

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•STORIES FROM JUNK PUPPET LAND AND

STOPMOTION CELEBRATION Pegged to this week’s

Jan Švankmajer retro, but with a kid-friendly menu, this program will include both stop-motion animation shorts and puppetry from The Zambini Brothers Puppet Company. (NR) Northwest Film Forum, $6-$10, Sat., June 16, 11:30 a.m.

Send events to film@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings = Recommended

•

1 2 5 1 JUNE

• THE MANZANAR FISHING CLUB More than 100,000

Americans of Japanese descent were rounded up for illegal internment after Pearl Harbor. Director Cory Shiozaki tackles this grim chapter in American history from an original angle, celebrating a subtle but powerful form of resistance practiced by many behind the armypatrolled barbed wire: When roughly 10,000 JapaneseAmericans were relocated to the Manzanar camp, they discovered that nearby creeks were teeming with trout. Shiozaki squeezes in history lessons on the region, including how the trout came to be there, while giving a thorough look at the Japanese community both pre- and postwar. (NR) Michael Atkinson Varsity MOONRISE KINGDOM It’s 1965, the rainy end of summer on the rocky coast of a fictional New England isle. Twelve-year-old Sam (Jared Gilman) disappears from the Scout camp run by Randy Ward (Edward Norton). Also 12, bad-seed Suzy (Kara Hayward) flees her distracted lawyer parents (Frances McDormand and Bill Murray). Aided by what remains of Ward’s troop (“It’s a chance to do some first-class scouting!”), the grownups, including Bruce Willis’ Captain Sharp, mobilize to find the fugitive young lovers. Moonrise takes the form of old-fashioned preteen literature, but, as everything made by Wes Anderson, does so knowingly. The escape Sam engineers for the pair is dangerous and crazy, but it’s also a way for him to exercise control, and to show off to a receptive audience. Suzy doesn’t have it so bad at home, but Sam’s flattering gaze gives her something she isn’t getting, and now won’t easily be able to live without. This utopian romance is thrown into relief by the quiet despair of the adults in Moonrise. Lonely, even—or particularly—when not alone, the grown-ups have long ago given up on the possibility of transformative love. (PG-13) Karina Longworth Guild 45th, Lincoln Square, Pacific Place PROMETHEUS Prone to shallow ponderousness, Prometheus assumes the air of a blockbuster-withbrains that links the genesis and the ultimate fate of mankind with a galactic quest for the mysterious beings archaeologist Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) calls the “Engineers.” But it works best when it steps back from contemplating the cosmos to enter the domain of flesh-and-blood and hereditary terror. The script, by Jon Spaihts and Lost’s Damon Lindelof, originated as a prequel to Alien, director Ridley Scott’s first big hit. Rather than setting out, as Alien scriptwriter Dan O’Bannon first did, to build the ultimate creature feature, these gimcrack philosophers have loosely sown Prometheus with Big Themes in hopes that one might perchance take root. (R) Nick Pinkerton Bainbridge Cinemas, Cinebarre, Cinerama, Kirkland Parkplace, Lincoln Square, Meridian, Sundance Cinemas, Thornton Place SAFETY NOT GUARANTEED This road-trip rom-com (with a light sci-fi spin) is both the first big starring role for Aubrey Plaza and also the first movie to acknowledge her hotness. Reporter Jeff (Jake Johnson), on assignment to write an exposé on a guy searching for a timetravel partner, suggests that his intern Darius (Plaza) use the fact that she’s a “beautiful woman” to get the story. A typical Plaza tough cookie (though patly softened), Darius calls Jeff out for “dangling my vagina out there like bait.” And then she does what she’s told to gain entry into the weird world of Kenneth (Mark Duplass), a hermit loner who claims to have built a time machine. Plaza and Duplass have an easy, charming chemistry, and plot contrivances aside, as indie-film nerd-mances go, this one is genuinely sweet. (R) Karina Longworth Lincoln Square, Meridian, Sundance Cinemas

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THEATERS: Admiral, 2343 California Ave. SW, 938-3456;

Big Picture, 2505 First Ave., 256-0566; Big Picture Redmond, 7411 166th Ave. NE, 425-556-0566; Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave., 686-6684; Cinebarre, 6009 SW 244th St. (Mountlake Terrace)., 425-672-7501; Cinerama, 2100 Fourth Ave., 448-6680; Crest, 16505 Fifth Ave. NE, 781-5755; Egyptian, 801 E. Pine St., 781-5755; Grand Illusion, 1403 NE 50th St., 523-3935; Guild 45, 2115 N. 45th St., 781-5755; Harvard Exit, 807 E. Roy St., 781-5755; iPic Theaters, 16451 N.E. 74th St. (Redmond), 425-6365601; Kirkland Parkplace, 404 Park Place, 425-827-9000; Lincoln Square, 700 Bellevue Way N, 425-454-7400; Majestic Bay, 2044 NW Market St., 781-2229; Meridian, 1501 Seventh Ave., 223-9600; Metro, 4500 Ninth Ave. NE, 781-5755; Northwest Film Forum, 1515 12th Ave., 2675380; Oak Tree, 10006 Aurora Ave. N, 527-1748; Pacific Place, 600 Pine St., 888-262-4386; Seven Gables, 911 NE 50th St., 781-5755; SIFF Cinema Uptown, 511 Queen Anne Ave. N., 324-9996; SIFF Film Center, 305 Harrison St. (Seattle Center), 324-9996; Sundance Cinemas, 4500 Ninth Ave NE, 633-0059; Thornton Place, 301 NE 103rd St., 517-9953; Varsity, 4329 University Way NE, 781-5755.

TICKETS NOW ON SALE | 206.324.9996 | SIFF.NET

PLAYING JUNE 15–21 | SIFF CINEMA UPTOWN Extraterrestrial

Daily 7:15, 9:15 Fri 5:00 Sat & Sun 2:45, 5:00

A romantic, screwball comedy of errors set within a worldshattering alien apocalypse!

Keyhole

SIFF FILM CENTER

Guy Maddin’s phantasmagorical mixture of noir, ghost story, and Homer’s Odyssey. Starring Jason Patric and Isabella Rossellini. Daily 7:30 / Sat & Sun 5:15, 7:30 / No show Wed

The Woman in the Fifth

Daily 7:00, 9:00 Fri 4:45 Sat & Sun 2:30, 4:45

Ethan Hawke and Kristin Scott Thomas star in this mind-bending thriller of desire and deception.

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Welcome to Pine Hill 4:30 Fat Kid Rules the World 7:00 King Curling 9:30 SATURDAY JUNE 16 The Long Ride Home 11:00am Ethel 2:00 NEW DIRECTORS COMPETITION GRAND JURY AWARD WINNER

The Invader 4:30 Starbuck 7:00 Best of SIFF Shorts 9:30

Welcome to Doe Bay 8:00

TUESDAY JUNE 19 DOCUMENTARY COMPETITION GRAND JURY AWARD WINNER

Five Star Existence 8:00 WEDNESDAY JUNE 20 REEL NW AWARD WINNER AND AUDIENCE AWARD: BEST ACTRESSJAMIE CHUNG

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THURSDAY JUNE 21 SUNDAY JUNE 17 AWARDS: Ira Finkelstein’s Christmas 2:00 AUDIENCE BEST FILM AND BEST ACTORThe Other Dream Team 4:30 ALAN CUMMING Superclasico 7:00 Any Day Now 8:00 Earthbound 9:30 SIFF Cinema Uptown

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Seattle w ee kly • JUN E 13–19, 2012

wing beneficiaries of the Citizens United decision, Charles and David Koch, in this new doc by agit-leftie Robert Greenwald. Please refrain from throwing tomatoes at the screen. (NR) Keystone Church, 5019 Keystone Place N., 632-6021, keystoneseattle.org, Free, Fri., June 15, 7 p.m. KUNG FU GRINDHOUSE Screened in series will be The Awful Hour, Steele Justice, and The Bloody Fists. 21 and over. (NR) Sunset Tavern, 5433 Ballard Ave. N.W., 784-4880, sunsettavern.com, Free, Mon., June 18, 6 p.m. THE LITTLE MATCH GIRL James and Lucie Carlson (performing as Cricket and Snail) will play a new score on violin and accordion for this 40-minute silent movie from 1928. Jean Renoir directs the sentimental and somewhat fantastical tale by Hans Christian Andersen. (NR) Northwest Film Forum, $6-$10, Thu., June 14, 7 p.m. NEXT 50 FILM SERIES SIFF helps Seattle Center celebrate its 50th anniversary with a free Wednesday-night series touching upon topics like organic farming and Woody Guthrie. See siff.net for full schedule. (NR) SIFF Film Center, Free, Weds., 7 p.m. Through July 18. PILLOW TALK This nifty 1959 romantic comedy that more or less cemented Rock Hudson’s screen image. Cast opposite Doris Day (in their first of three pairings), he plays a swinging songwriter forced to share a telephone line with our heroine. It’s a fine gimmick for misunderstandings and forcing the opposite personalities together. This kind of sexless sex comedy, full of knowing innuendo, has been lampooned (See: Down With Love), but the displacement actually makes the dialogue better. (Day to Hudson: “This may come as a surprise to you, but there are some men who don’t end every sentence with a proposition.”) The humor is polite, not innocent, and the film actually won an Oscar for its script, always a rare feat for comedies. Call for showtimes. (NR) BRIAN MILLER Central Cinema, $6-$8, June 15-20. POSSESSION SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 17.

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Seattle weekly • JU N E 13–19, 2012

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food&drink»

Child’s Plates

A 7-year-old restaurant investor steps in where banks wouldn’t on Capitol Hill.

ather’s Day is this Sunday, which means greeting-card companies would like you to start thinking about why you love your dad. Is is because he can fix everything and out-golf his buddies? Because he’s a sharp dresser and an unbelievably talented backyard cook? The cards may say so, but it’s far more likely you love your dad because he let you win at gin rummy or picked you up from school when you had an ear infection. Supposedly manly qualities like brawn and business acumen probably have very little to do with it. In that spirit, Zephyr Paquette’s Skelly and the Bean forces eaters to rethink what they value in restaurants. If you dine out because you want to savor fantastic food that exerts a season-finale-like hold on your taste buds, or

Skelly and the Bean brings to mind a neighborhood kid’s cardboard fort, albeit with a menu.

of these boards and they nailed them up.” The donors names’ are immortalized on a prominently hung board (which sports not a trace of bovine manure) with groovy Fillmore Auditorium lettering. And their aesthetics are apparent in the rectangular room’s found decor: Arranged otherwise, the wooden chairs, Formica-topped tables, wicker bread baskets, and triangular black plates could function as a fairly comprehensive exhibit on 20th-century kitchen-design trends. To make clear that the jumble’s meant to be idiosyncratic rather than just plain pell-mell, clouds are painted on the sky-blue ceiling. But the cash contributors and volunteer drudges left the culinary say-so to Paquette, who seems to have assembled a collection of what she likes to cook and eat. The menu’s arranged in three sections—“Start Here,” “Then Try,” “Finish With”—but it’s sometimes difficult to elegantly connect the dots. Other than two simple salads, the only starter choices are protein bombs: deviled eggs bundled in pork, sausage from local producer Link Lab, and a salami sampler. It’s as if no one stopped to imagine what a diner might do here. Still, that’s a failure of foresight, not customer care. Service at Skelly is terrifically engaged, if not always totally informed. Asked which wine would pair best with a recommended chicken dish touted as a top seller, our server had to pussyfoot back to the bar. But the staffers all come across as genuinely nice people—who else would clean the boss’ floor on a day off?—eager for the intimacy that a stone-soup endeavor spawns. You get the sense that you’re not supposed to leave until you and your server have developed a private joke to quote on future visits.

of sautéed kale and wrinkly fingerling potatoes, satiny and generously salted—are on target. Paquette’s favorite way to prepare potatoes is to mash and then fry. Her Petit Paquets are perfectly formed crunch-fronted barrels of custardy taters, but a coarser filling would be more interesting to eat. The paquets come standard with the burger, made from flavorful beef that can stand up to the rare finish that the kitchen prefers. Seated on a soft square bun, the burger doesn’t need its “bacon weave”—a pork potholder that’s crumbly and dry. When Skelly plays it straight with its impeccably sourced ingredients, the payoff can be handsome. Tuna from the Seattle-based fishing vessel St. Jude, sunk into a hill of quinoa seeded with sweet green muscat grapes, is fleshy and clean. Spring’s sylphlike ambassadors, asparagus and ramps, both appear in a roasted salad bedecked with discs of raw radish and a hunk of oozy Dinah’s cheese. A scraggly salad of miner’s lettuce with sorrel and apples is equally lovely.

Paquette is not your run-of-the-mill restaurateur.

On Mondays and Tuesdays, Paquette turns over her restaurant (which she refers to as an incubator) to kitchen-less chefs who are playing with various concepts. General manager Jef Fike has hosted an African dinner and Bo Maisano’s cooked ramen. The series is the ultimate expression of Paquette’s commitment to Seattle’s food community and the fans who’ve bonded on her watch. While Skelly isn’t yet quite good enough to make you wish you lived in its neighborhood, it’s already the kind of restaurant you wouldn’t mind having in yours. E hraskin@seattleweekly.com SKELLY AND THE BEAN 2359 10th Ave. E., 328-2326, skellyandthebean.com. 5–10 p.m. Wed.–Thurs., 5–11 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 5–9 p.m. Sun.

Seattle w ee kly • JUN E 13–19, 2012

because you like to spend an hour or so fantasizing that you’ve acquired a fawning staff of valets and footmen, you may not be swayed by the community-oriented charms of Skelly and the Bean, which brings to mind a neighborhood kid’s cardboard fort, albeit with a menu. “Look what I made!” Paquette recently crowed through the kitchen window when a friend arrived for his first meal. Here, Paquette was using the commoner’s “I,” since she readily admits the Capitol Hill eatery is a group project. Skelly and the Bean got its start—and its odd name, which sounds more like a Pixar film than a dinner destination— umor’s very near the surface at when a 7-year-old acquaintance gave her $10 Skelly, and it doesn’t always beneand told her to get cracking on a restaurant. fit Paquette’s generally competent With Skelly and his kid sister Bean on WYSIWYG dishes. Take those board, Paquette began to solicit the friends deviled eggs with their piggy membranes: she’d acquired during a decade of cooking in They’re sold as ham and eggs. Get it? UnfortuSeattle restaurants, including Cafe Flora and nately, what the guest gets is a strangely elastic Dandelion. She asked for money, furniture, white in a leathery, salty pink sheath, heaped and free labor, and she got all of it. Using the high with a mustardy yolk. One egg is bearable; tens of thousands of dollars a serving of three colossal eggs collected for memberships feels like it’s pushing the pun. (glorified $1,500 time-bound Wit also backfires on a » PRICE GUIDE HAM AND EGGS ......... $8 gift certificates, sold for $1,000 dish titled “Half (secret—shh) SALAD...........................$10 a pop), Paquette moved into the chicken.” The chicken’s secret is HALF CHICKEN ........ $24 TUNA ........................... $24 10th Avenue East corner shop it’s got a juniper sausage stuffed BURGER .......................$15 that’s been serially vacated by under its skin. Pigs and chickens Cassis, Tidbit, and Easy Joe’s. are rarely friendly in the barnThe space wasn’t in wash-and-wear condition, yard, and the coupling isn’t any more successso members offered to paint the walls. A sous ful on the plate: The sausage’s seasonings clash chef deck-brushed the floor. Soundgarden con- with the chicken, and the added meat appears tributed a table tattooed with a cigarette burn. to have thrown off the bird’s roasting time. The “The banks are not a fan of me,” Paquette inner meat is petal-pink and blood has pooled explained to Voracious last month. “So my only around the bones. Moving from comedy to option was to do it differently. I’m very fortuirony, the dish would get on just fine without nate. People bought memberships and they the pork: The chicken’s meat is tender, its skin came in and painted; they cleaned cow shit off crisp. The accompanying side dishes—a mound

JOSHUA HUSTON

BY HANNA RASKIN

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food&drink»Featured Eats $ = $25 or less per person; $$ = $25–$40; $$$ = $40 and up. These capsule reviews are written by editorial staff and have nothing to do with advertising. For hundreds more reviews, searchable by neighborhood and type of cuisine, go to seattleweekly.com/food.

DOWNTOWN

ANDALUCA 407 Olive Way (in the Mayflower Park

Hotel), 382-6999. Andaluca doesn’t much look like a restaurant helmed by a big-name chef whose culinary resume includes a guest stint on Iron Chef America. Wayne Johnson’s dining room looks like a typical hotel restaurant, which is presumably what the solo diners and name tag-wearing conference goers who claimed tables on a recent weeknight thought they’d found. Their assumptions were tested by a string of bright, Mediterranean small plates showcasing fresh shellfish and local produce, including a paella thoughtfully sized for one. In addition to seasonal cuisine, Andaluca offers a respectable wine list, with 15 percent knocked off the price of every Washington wine bottle. $$$ BELLE EPICUREAN 1206 Fourth Ave., 262-9404. T H I S CO D E Belle Epicurean not only TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE has a très bien cafe in the SEATTLE WEEKLY Fairmont Hotel, it also sells IPHONE/ANDROID APP pastries at a farmers market FOR MORE RESTAURANTS OR VISIT near you. Belle’s variously seattleweekly.com dressed brioche buns are the signature items; a bevy of sweet and savory pastries are made with the same extra-rich dough. Sandwiches and salads are served up for lunch, and more than 10 different, exactingly beautiful desserts wink at you from the case. $ BLUE WATER TACO GRILL 1001 Fourth Ave., 386-7301. Quick take-out Mexican in the heart of downtown is the game plan for this outlet of the local mini-chain, started by the same guy who ran the Todo Loco wrap shops in the ‘90s. Burritos are solid, especially at breakfast, and can even be pretty healthy, if you customize them right. (Whole wheat tortilla? Right on.) $

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for six and a half years. A North Dakota native, Ty relocated to Seattle after his very wise and » by ma’chell duma lavassar lovely older sister suggested the move. You can find him behind the bar almost nightly. The Drink: The Duma—Godiva Liqueur, Pearl Coconut Vodka, Frangelico, Pinnacle Whipped Vodka, coconut cream, a splash of cream, and a chocolate-syrup drizzle—was created in The Watering Hole: Noc Noc, 1516 Second honor of our very Ukrainian grandmother, whose Ave., 223-1333, DOWNTOWN birthday specialty was a triple-layer German The Atmosphere: The mood at Noc Noc chocolate cake roughly the size of an upsidechanges depending on the down punch bowl. The Verdict: You’d style of DJ booked on a think that nepotism alone given evening. As it opens in this situation would (5 p.m. Mon.–Wed., 3 p.m. ensure you the perfect Thurs.–Sun.), you’ll find a cocktail, but it’s also a mix of downtown regulars: ripe opportunity to work business folks indulging out sibling rivalry/revenge in happy hour, a tourist or issues. It’s not often that two who’ve stumbled in, the person pouring your a few semi-funded street drink is the same person folks. The music on this you may or may not have visit—a very Seattle-’90s The brother of the author. dressed as a girl when he mix—came courtesy of was a toddler and forced Pandora. The bar’s decor to be the recipient of an accidental “drop” during is dark, gargoyled, and enough of a Gothic holda round of “dangle the loogie” in 1985. As it turns over to suggest that—despite what you heard out, the Duma was a sweet as Grandma herself, in that Bauhaus song—Bela Lugosi is not dead, and if Ty returned a spitty favor in my drink, it but alive, well, and an interior decorator working went undetected. E downtown. The Barkeep: Ty Duma has been at the ’Noc food@seattleweekly.com

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of those barfy Taco Bell/Pizza Hut hybrids, Bruno’s is about the only restaurant in the city where the answer to this question is going to be an enthusiastic “yes!” The food is merely decent, but is so cheap that you can eat like a fat Italian gangster on a migrant worker’s budget. $ CYBER-DOGS INTERNET CAFE 909 Pike St., 4053647. This tiny space in the Convention Center serves several purposes: hot dog joint/coffee house/Internet cafe/job referral service. Amid all this miscellany, dig into a Laika Dog, smothered in eggplant caviar, zucchini paste, and chopped onions, or a Greek Goddess, a hummus-shrouded dog topped with avocado, veggies, and fresh Parmesan. Oh, one more thing—the entire menu is vegetarian, with not a “real” meat hot dog to be found. $ FOX SPORTS GRILL 1522 Sixth Ave., 340-1369. Who cares what Bill O’Reilly has to say about anything? The important thing here are 32 flat screens tuned to every major sporting event on the planet. And whatever game is featured receives the 110-inch projection TV treatment. The grub? Better—far better—than most sports-addicted schlubs have come to expect. Moreover, by today’s downtown-dining standards, the Fox fare is cheap. The food doesn’t lack for novel twists (a grilled-romaine salad, sautéed mussels with several excellent sauce options) to go along with moist Maryland crab cakes, colorful jambalaya, and many other entrées and sandwiches. $ THE GEORGIAN 411 University St. (in the Fairmont Olympic Hotel), 621-7889. What was called the Georgian Room is now just the Georgian, having undergone a paint job (seven shades of yellow) and a charge by the Fairmont Olympic to make the space and the menu more “accessible.” It’s nice that they’re not going to force a loaner tie on you at the door anymore, but what is and always will be great about the Georgian is the splendorous formality. The cuisine now concentrates on Northwest ingredients, with dishes like wild Alaskan salmon with warm potato and wild mushroom salad and Kobe beef filet with oxtail “braisage.” High tea, which is served daily at lunchtime, includes a pot of tea and a three-tiered silver tray of sweets and savories. $$$ PLACE PIGALLE 81 Pike St., 624-1756. There comes a point in every relationship that brings you to the Pike Place Market: Either things have gotten very new or very old. With its checkered floors and unbeatable views, Place Pigalle doesn’t have to show off. You, on

food&drink»Featured Eats the other hand, are likely in the position of needing to pick up a few points, which is where this tucked-away respite comes in handy. The French-inspired menu will back up your presumable good taste, with enough breadth and flair to encompass both old-fashioned rabbit roulade and fusion ingredients like jicama and daikon. Chilled crab, half or whole, is a satisfying splurge of a starter; if Alaskan halibut is on the menu, order it. $$$

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Jasonduilaw.com ule associated with cheffing. Another suggestion, first publicly raised five years ago, posits that the molecular-gastronomy trend has turned off women who aren’t comfortable with science, as the percentage of science, technology, engineering, and mathematics positions held by women has been stuck for the past decade at about 25 percent. When Doris Piccinin, director of Bastyr’s Didactic Program in Dietetics, recently arranged for Modernist Cuisine chef Maxime Bilet to offer an on-campus presentation, male students were the first to express interest in the program. “They were just blown away by it,” Piccinin says. “It touched something in them.” According to Modernist Cuisine’s businessdevelopment manager (and former Voracious contributor), Scott Heimendinger, most of the interns who pass through the Modernist Cuisine lab are male, but there are two women on the lab’s full-time chef staff of five. “I am personally fascinated by the gender gap in professional cooking, and I don’t think there’s anything unique about modernist cooking that causes the gender bias to skew,” he says, referring to the disproportionate numbers throughout the industry. For her part, Page has encountered plenty of food bloggers who are using social media as an entry point to a field that might otherwise be inaccessible. Although they’ve embraced blogging, many BlogHer participants are eager to write a cookbook or star in a television show. “It’s another metric of credibility,” she says. To that end, an increasing number of food bloggers are dropping their quirky personas and blogging under their real names, says Page. “More and more are merging their online presence with their actual personality,” she says. As pseudonymous bloggers are tapped for speaking engagements and freelance writing, she says, “they want to be able to add that to their resume.” E hraskin@seattleweekly.com

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Seattle w ee kly • JUN E 13–19, 2012

More than 500 food bloggers were in town last weekend for the fourth annual BlogHer Food, a conference designed to inspire and educate amateur food bloggers from across the country. Although the conference is open to bloggers of both genders, co-founder Elisa Camahort Page says women continue to dominate the registration rolls. “From the beginning, we started featuring male speakers, because in the food community, it’s men who have their light hidden under a bushel,” Page says. According to a social-media study commissioned by BlogHer, the blogosphere is “pretty well split” between men and women. But women are overrepresented in the culinary realm: Although Page stresses it’s difficult to determine blogger numbers with precision, her organization believes 70 percent of food blogs are helmed by women. “The grand appeal of blogs has always been that bloggers can raise a voice without gatekeepers,” Page says. “You can find support via a blog, and you don’t have to feel you’re operating within the existing power structure.” The existing power structure in high-end restaurant kitchens is especially rigid, which may help explain why women with culinary interests have gravitated toward social media. Although many charismatic women have lately emerged as celebrities—aided by Top Chef ’s insistence on gender parity in casting—female chefs are almost totally absent from the world’s top restaurants. To wit, in the U.S., one in 10 restaurants has a female executive chef. Critics have long tried to explain the imbalance: Perhaps too many talented women are pigeonholing themselves as pastry chefs, or opting to have children rather than submit to the intense sched-

ant if perfunctory, but it’s hard to complain when you have a nutcracker in one hand, a juicy crab leg in the other, and a dish of melted butter somewhere in between. $$ I LOVE SUSHI 1001 Fairview Ave. N., 625-9604. People love I Love Sushi. I Love Sushi is bright and clean, with a bright and clean staff, and bright, clean-tasting sushi. The popular spider roll surrounds a soft-shell crab with avocado, cucumber, mayonnaise, rice, and flying fish eggs; the I Love Roll, with unagi (broiled eel), is equally well loved. I Love Sushi leans toward the upscale—both atmosphere and food are reliably lovable for I Love Sushi lovers, who crowd into both the South Lake Union and Bellevue restaurants to love them. $ POMODORO 2366 Eastlake Ave. E., 324-3160. This Eastlake hideaway serves Italian entrées and Spanish-style tapas. The kitchen juts into the dining room, filling it with a sumptuous garlic aroma. Given the restaurant’s scale, service is incongruously formal: Your waitperson places the napkin in your lap, and palate-cleansing sorbet arrives unbidden between courses. The kitchen doesn’t have the lightest touch with entrées, but tapas like the shiitake and portobello mushrooms sautéed in olive oil and garlic are simple and good. $$

FRESH FRESH! LIVE CRAWFISH

Seattle weekly • JU N E 13–19, 2012

music» »ESSAY

From Cripple Creek to Pound Ridge

As long as I’ve understood the difference between north and south, I’ve leaned on the sound of Levon Helm’s voice.

It’s as if The Band were characters from a time beyond, yet the sorrow in their voices is eternally poignant.

It’s in that pinnacle moment that music becomes something that isn’t just a void-filler that could make you feel good, distracted, even joyful—this time it presents itself as a vehicle that could take you down through the depths of spirit and soul, make you aware you have a soul. It’s the beginning of a true love affair that cannot happen until we gain enough footage under our belt so that the ability to reflect takes on a life of its own; music becomes not just the present and future, but for the first time the past, too. And it becomes personal. I didn’t need to know Levon Helm to feel like I knew his soul, his spirit. Maybe that’s what I loved about The Band, why to this day I still need their music in my life. It’s as if they were characters from a time beyond, yet the sorrow in their voices is eternally poignant. As a kid, I didn’t know who was singing which of The Band’s songs or who had written which—it didn’t matter. They seemed like they were all haunted by the same ghost, a ghost I was familiar with.

y family had a little house in Bethel, New York, a town in the Catskills, right down the road from Yasgur’s farm where the Woodstock festival was held. It had once belonged to a great aunt who left it to my grandma when she passed away. By the time I was born, it was mostly used as a hunting shelter, not suitable for living. Its decrepit state may have had something to do with the fact that my grandmother’s sister had committed suicide in that house via gas oven. My grandma always told us kids “She died of a broken heart,” and for many years I believed a broken heart to be no different than a heart attack or cancer. It was something that could happen to any of us. I remember the shot-out windows, the half moon on the outhouse door, the metal porch chairs, and the complete silence. The house stood in a meadow surrounded by 150 acres of deep woods. I was too young to remember,

but my dad always liked to tell the story of how Max Yasgur supposedly held me in his arms when I was a baby. As a teenager, my dad would take me to the field where Woodstock all went down, and I recall feeling an intense ache in my chest and throat, a sweet kind of sadness. I had not been there, yet I felt I had. Until recently, I never thought much of the fact that I carried a copy of The Band’s debut, Music From Big Pink, in my purse to the studio for the making of each of our records. During playbacks I’d stare at the pictures in the booklet for inspiration, sort of like carrying a rabbit’s foot—something to anchor me to my earliest emotional connections. There’s something about that famous black-and-white photo of The Band, looking like young Civil War soldiers, standing before the mountains of West Saugerties, New York—taken just a couple of counties away from my childhood home—that brings me great comfort. I still have dreams where I am slipping back into the quiet pastoral beauty of that region, where I get to revisit the mountains, those ridges, the woods, and those narrow roads lined with stone walls. In these dreams I never know if I’m leaving for the first time or coming home for the last. They are always unsettling that way. I have friends lying on Burial Hill now, people who died much too young. It brings me a peculiar pleasure knowing it’s not just strangers buried there anymore. Now my story is as embedded within those ridges as the ones told to me as a kid. I don’t know if I’ll ever make it back there, but when I see that hillside cemetery in my head, it’s Levon Helm’s voice I hear. E music@seattleweekly.com

Jesse Sykes is the leader of the Seattle-based band Jesse Sykes and the Sweet Hereafter. LIFE IS A CARNIVAL: CELEBRATING THE MUSIC OF LEVON HELM Featuring Jeff Fielder, Lindsay Fuller, Jason Dodson, Duff McKagan, Zoe Muth, and others. The Triple Door, 216 Union St., 838-4333, tripledoor.com. $15. All ages. 7 p.m. Sun., June 17.

Seattle w ee kly • JUN E 13–19, 2012

Most of the homes in the area were hundreds of years old, and came with incredible stories. But more important, they came with ghosts. Even the newer houses seemed haunted, and we kids were sure they were built on Native American burial grounds. My first meaningful kiss was on the “pound” that Pound Ridge was named for—the flat, long hill where the Native Americans kept their game animals. Roads ran through these ridges: “Pound Ridge Road,” “High Ridge,” “Long Ridge.” These ridges, with their dark winding roads, held secrets, waged bets, mercilessly took lives on blind curves, and provided boundless beauty and depth of field. If you listened, there was the sense that they were willing to reveal their secrets. Our fifth-grade teacher, Ms. Levine—a Liz Taylor look-alike in her 40s, with a bit of Gloria Steinem thrown in—taught science, was tough as nails, and was so unlike the other

teachers who had long ago morphed into that strange state prevalent among grade-school teachers in the 1970s, where they began to take on characteristics resembling birds of prey, with their strange bodies and elongated beaks taking precedence over their more-human traits. I was smitten with her—we all were. We were a bit scared, too. Every time we were about to take off for a school holiday, Ms. Levine brought out a guitar and we would sing songs. The one I always remember singing is “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down,” from The Band’s self-titled record in 1969. I had no idea the song was recorded after I was born—it could have been from the Civil War. It felt timeless, yet far away from the post–Brady Bunch era that I was weaned in. When we sang it, it was as if it and we had always existed, and things were as they had always been. We sang it at day camp, too, along with “This Land Is Your Land” and “On Top of Old Smokey,” of course. I remember those brown-bag lunches of soggy PB&J sandwiches and warm Mott’s Apple Juice, and the counselors, aged 14 or 15, with their long hair parted in the middle and hip-huggers. “Virgil Caine is my name,” they’d sing out, almost certainly after smoking pot in the woods. Though they’d been with me in a sense since grade school, in my teens The Band was one of the first groups I fell in love with. As budding teenagers, each of us has such a strange mixture of ingredients that need to be activated. For me, The Band was one of the vehicles that helped me connect with what was churning inside me. I needed something that connected me to nature and allowed more space for my imagination to fill—allowing my own vision to percolate within its confines. It had to look and feel a certain way, have a metaphysical structure I’ll never understand to this day, to speak to my soul. It was the beginning of a journey away from alienation—one still unfolding today. The Band’s voices—in particular that of Levon Helm, the drummer, and often lead singer, who died on April 19, and was the voice behind “The Weight,” “Up on Cripple Creek,” and “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down,” among many others—had a familiarity and a depth of spirit that made me feel safe during a time when darkness seemed to be baiting me around every narrow passageway, cutting through the Northeastern woods. We all know there is no way to fight what we need. Just like falling in love with a human, we fall in love with our music. As a teenager, the process can be intense, even painful. It happens in one of those riptide moments, when all chemicals converge—those that hover in the ether and those that ignite internal sparks, making that precise moment ripe for burgeoning hormones and primeval yearnings to come forth.

JEFF FIELDER

s I was growing up in New York state—where the residents want you to know they don’t live in “The City”—the Revolutionary War, Civil War, Woodstock, and the music of The Band were all entangled in the region’s mythology; on occasion, the boundary between the distant and recent past blurred completely. The Redcoats moved through our town during the Revolutionary War, 109 of our residents served in the Civil War, The Band’s music— made a familiar 100 miles away—was a ubiquitous presence, and Woodstock took place on a farm down the road from a house our family used as a hunting cabin. In my young mind, Ulysses S. Grant and Robert E. Lee, Levon Helm and Max Yasgur all seemed to be of the same era, one far removed from my own. Life as a child is surreal anyway, but my hometown of Pound Ridge was like reenactment bootcamp, with the adults hell-bent on making little anachronisms of us all. Fifeand-drum corps was a rite of passage for most, and Memorial Day, Labor Day, and Fourth of July events all ended with gunfire at the village cemetery set on a beautiful hillside in the middle of town: “Burial Hill,” they appropriately named it, where the graves seemed like museum installations. As kids, it seemed unfathomable to think that you could be set on that hillside for eternity, lying beside strangers who had died in ways that we couldn’t comprehend.

BY JESSE SYKES

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he late Levon Helm is overtly present in the harmony-drenched, twang-inspired, folksy renaissance that has put Seattle back on the musical map. But few musicians have studied Levon’s legacy like Maldives/Sons of Warren Oates frontman Jason Dodson, performing in the Triple Door’s Levon Helm tribute night on Sunday with Ian Moore, event organizer Jeff Fielder, Lindsay Fuller, and many others. We asked Dodson for a few words on Levon’s work and his undying influence on

BY MA’CHELL DUMA LAVASSAR Dodson’s band the Maldives, whose Helmtastic next record, Muscle for the Wing, is set for release October 16. “Up on Cripple Creek” (The Band, 1969, by Robbie Robertson): I’ve always thought of Levon Helm as a kind of father figure. As in the kind of father that would give me the advice and wisdom found in “Up on Cripple Creek.” This song to me is about dirty love. And alcohol. The chorus blows me away, especially the final lines: “I don’t have to speak/She defends me/A drunkard’s dream/

RENEE MCMAHON

(The Band, 1969, by Robbie Robertson): This is Levon’s shining moment, when all things perfect in the song world collide and give us, the record-store geeks and the classic-rock-radio nerds, a song that sets the standard. It is the perfect story song, and I have tried my hardest to re-create (i.e., mimic) it at least half a dozen times in the Maldives. And I don’t think most people quite understand what is happening in the song: It is told from a sympathetic viewpoint of Southerners during the Civil War. Blasphemy! And a top-10 radio hit? Go figure? Only Levon Helm could have sung this song (especially in The Band, seeing how he was the only American member). “Poor Old Dirt Farmer” (Dirt Farmer, 2007, by Tracy Schwarz): “Poor Old Dirt Farmer” was Levon’s comeback song on his comeback

The Maldives’ Helm-tastic new album, Muscle for the Wing, is due out October 16.

If I ever did see one.” Levon’s delivery in this song is spot-on. It is both world-weary and joyous, and just fucking perfect. “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down”

album. His voice is so good on this one, even after having battled cancer for so long. The Maldives spent a lot of time singing along to this song in the van on tour—so much that we decided to cover it a few summers back at the No Depression Festival out at Marymoor Park. Jeff Fielder and company were the backing band at that show, and I have a sneaky feeling that’s how this whole Levon Helm tribute night came about. “Tennessee Jed” (Electric Dirt, 2009, by Jerry Garcia and Robert Hunter): Jeff Fielder asked me to sing this one, and to be honest, I am not that familiar with it. The album Electric Dirt was a bit too difficult for me to listen to. As celebratory as the songs are,

I’ve always thought of Levon Helm as a kind of father figure. As in the kind of father that would give me the advice and wisdom found in “Up on Cripple Creek.” you can tell Levon was in pain and that he is dying, and that was just too hard for me to handle. I always think of art and artists as the star that people wish upon. Levon Helm may just as well have been the sun. E music@seattleweekly.com

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BENEFITING RAINIER VALLEY FOOD BANK

JUNE 14 // THE TRIPLE DOOR 216 UNION ST

WED, JUN 20 • 8:30PM ~ $10

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6/23 FASCINATION STREET (The Cure tribute), THIS CHARMING BAND (Smiths/Morrissey tribute), FOR THE MASSES (Depeche Mode tribute) 6/24 Monqui presents LISA HANNIGAN and JOE HENRY 6/25 MONDAY SQUARE DANCE with THE TALLBOYS 6/26 The Tractor & KBCS 91.3FM present BROKEDOWN IN BAKERSFIELD, JOSH CLAUSON of The True Spokes 6/27 RADIO MOSCOW, THE DIRTY STREETS, ANCIENT WARLOCKS, ANTIQUE SCREAM 6/28 & 6/29 Monqui presents MATES OF STATE, THE STEPKIDS 6/30 DAVIDSON HART KINGSBERY album release show, THE SWEARENGENS album release show, OLE TINDER 7/2 Take Warning presents CORY BRANAN, AUDRA MAE, MIKE HERRERA 7/3 DECEPTION PAST, RYAN PURCELL AND THE LAST ROUND, 1UPPERS 7/5 THE TORN ACLs, SWEET SECRETS, POMERANTZ

HOME THEATER EXPERIENCE 20 JOIN US FOR THE FINEST IN HOME THEATER, ONE NIGHT ONLY, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 20th, 4-10 PM, IN OUR BELLEVUE SHOWROOM

Seattle weekly • JU N E 13–19, 2012

On Wednesday, June 20th, Definitive will be hosting our 20th annual Home Theater Experience, celebrating the finest in home theater, and we'd like you to join us. For one exciting night, eight calibrated demonstration rooms will be filled with the very best in audio and video, presented by factory experts, in a comfortable, no sales atmosphere. This is your opportunity to see and hear the very best in speakers, electronics, flat-panel displays, projectors, seating and system control. Here are a few highlights...

Prima Cinema - Movies at home the same day as their theatrical release! • Sony VPL-1000ES 3D Projector - 4K. The future of home cinema. • Wisdom Audio - The World’s Most Advanced Architectural Loudspeakers. • McIntosh - The New MX121 A/V Control Center. Legendary performance. • Wilson Audio - Mezzo Theater System. • Paradigm’s stunning new Monitor Series speakers. • Meridian - M6 Digital Theater. • Pioneer Elite - New SC Series Airplay Receiver. • Golden Ear - New Triton Three Tower & Aon Bookshelf Speakers. Light hors d'oeuvres and refreshments will be served, and complimentary valet parking is provided. Register to attend today - call 425-746-3188 or online at deﬁnitive.com. RSVP is highly recommended, as this will be a sold out event. No dealers please.

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music»Reverb »THROUGH @ 2

Not Pixies! No Gaga! COZELL WILSON

Posse learns the fine art of compromise. BY ERIN K. THOMPSON THE SITUATION I’m at Bimbo’s Cantina on Capitol Hill sharing a pitcher of Rainier with the guitar-rock trio Posse: singer/guitarists Sacha Maxim and Paul Wittmann-Todd and drummer Jon Salzman. Posse hasn’t had a bassist since theirs left for law school a year ago, and they’re not looking for a replacement. “I thought [Sleater-Kinney] were, like, conversing with each other with guitars,” Maxim says of the bass-less band. “That influenced me a lot.” HOW THEY GOT HERE A couple of years ago, Maxim and Wittmann-Todd met at a show at the Wildrose, bonded over Yo La Tengo, traded phone numbers, and started playing together, although they both admit they were wary of each other at first. “I just thought Sacha was a really tough lesbian,” says Wittmann-Todd. “She had, like, a Skrillex haircut.” “It was like Flock of Seagulls!” Maxim corrects. Salzman, an old friend of Maxim’s, was living in Philadelphia at the time; he was a guitarist and trombonist who’d never played the drums, but after hearing a demo of Maxim and Wittmann-Todd, he moved back to Seattle to join their band. “Sacha bought me a $50 drum set,” he says. “Hey, hey, hey,” Maxim interjects. “It was $80!” SHOP TALK Posse’s chugging pop-rock songs and Maxim and Wittmann-Todd’s traded vocals, as heard on their self-titled record released earlier this year, have garnered them a lot of comparison to some of their ’90s alt-rock favorites. “What’s annoying about it is . . . If I were to hear

»TELL ME ABOUT THAT SONG

“Ghost Pines” Dylan Yuste, vocalist of local ambient folk band The Bard & the Liar, remembers an old friend.

Song: “Ghost Pines” Album: Ghost Pines EP, June 17, 2011 What was your inspiration for writing the song? The suicide of our friend Chris, a friend of all of us in the band, apart from our newly added guitarist. A few months after the incident, I distanced myself from a lot of people who were close to me. It took me the writing of this song to realize that that was the opposite of what I should be doing. What is the meaning behind the song? Losing someone close is a terrible experience,

POSSE With Tomten, The Curious Mystery. Columbia City Theater, 4916 Rainier Ave. S., 722-3009. $8. 8 p.m. Thurs., June 14.

and the fact that it was a suicide, that it was his choice . . . That really gets to me. This song isn’t really a song about mourning, memories, or goodbyes. It’s more about the mental and spiritual struggle that came in the wake of the tragedy. I guess you can say it’s about accepting it for what it is and trying to find something to take away from it other than pain. I mean, there’s nothing good to take away from it, but do I look at the people close to me differently than before? Absolutely. When was your favorite time performing it live? Hands down, the May 24 show at El Corazon! A lot more of our friends came to this show than usual. When we started playing the song, we were surprised by our large group of friends right up front pointing and singing along word for word. They weren’t just singing the lyrics because they knew them or liked the song, they were singing because they went through what I went through, what all of us onstage and everyone who knew him went through. It really made it something special. E music@seattleweekly.com THE BARD & THE LIAR With Honey Moon Tree, Cloud Person. El Corazon, 109 Eastlake Ave. E., 381-3094, elcorazonseattle.com. All ages. $8 adv./$10 DOS. 7 p.m. Thurs., June 14.

Seattle w ee kly • JUN E 13–19, 2012

BY JOE WILLIAMS

someone refer to another band being like the Pixies, I would automatically be like, ‘Well, fuck them, I’m not gonna listen to them,’ ” says Maxim. “ ’Cause nobody’s better than the Pixies.” “You want to have more freedom than that,” says Wittmann-Todd. They each just recorded a separate Smog/Bill Callahan cover—“Jon texted me and he was like, ‘I’m recording a Smog cover,’ ” says WittmannTodd. “And I was like, ‘Really? I’m gonna do one too!’ ” “They’re all about one-upping each other,” says Maxim. BTW: The band’s been playing out a lot lately, including one family event—Maxim’s mom recently hired them to play a party celebrating Maxim’s sister’s graduation and her dad’s 60th birthday. As a surprise, they covered the Beatles’ “Birthday” for her dad, and, for her sister, Lady Gaga’s “Americano.” “Man, the face that Jon made when we were practicing the Lady Gaga cover,” says Maxim, pulling the corners of her mouth down into a sad face. “It was priceless.” “Never again, Sacha,” says Salzman. “Yeah, I have certain principles for rock and roll that I’m not going to violate,” says Wittmann-Todd. “Oh, fuck off,” says Maxim. E

music»TheShortList gutters of the Sunset Strip in the mid-’80s to become the Hollywood glam-metal gods with the best hair, the best leather pants, and the best cowboy boots in town. Now they’re back—well, “they” meaning vocalist Phil Lewis, who appears to have successfully fought off Tracii Guns for the right to use the name, at least for now—and as dirty as ever. The band’s new album, Hollywood Forever, is just as sleazy and sexy as 1988’s self-titled debut and 1989’s Cocked & Loaded. Studio Seven surely will be filled with the big hair and short skirts you’d have found in ’89—but maybe also a few more muffin tops. With Liberty Lush, Palooka, Bloodshot

Sol plays Showbox at the Market on Saturday night.

Barrels. Studio Seven, 110 S. Horton St., 286-1312. 8 p.m. $15 adv./$17 DOS. LAURA SWARTZ

Sol SATURDAY, JUNE 16

it can’t work for Ol’ Fogie? Chateau Ste.

FRIDAY, JUNE 15

Matt Lawson is the imposing 6-foot-7 guitarist/keyboardist of local swirl-rock outfit Stephanie; off band duty, he moonlights as the ambient instrumental artist Secret Colors, composing expansive songs from synthesiz-

That Vockah Redu hasn’t produced a single noteworthy song—quick, name one!— is pretty much irrelevant to his appeal: not only because his brand of New Orleans sissy bounce music is meant for immediate and ephemeral physical enjoyment—dancing, bootyclapping, and so forth—but because he and his Cru’s live show is about more than translating recorded music to the stage. His live shows are elaborately costumed (and then stripped-down) dance contests, and on previous rolls through Seattle he’s paired them with daytime bouncercise dance workshops. It’s an impressive package, and if it doesn’t leave you with anything in the way of home listening, it’ll at least give your ass a workout.

Michelle, 14111 N.E. 145th St., Woodinville, 425-415-3300. 7 p.m. $45–$69.50. MIKE SEELY

L.A. Guns SATURDAY, JUNE 16

L.A. Guns came crawling up from the

New Orleans booty-shaker Vockah Redu.

ers, electric guitar, and found sound samples. Lawson’s released a scad of recordings as Secret Colors, most notably last year’s serendipitous Water Mirror LP; tonight will serve as the release show for his newest effort, Higher Views, a cassette tape out on California indie label Bridgetown Records featuring five looping, free-form sound pastiches (the stately title track is a standout). With Zephyrs, Legato Bebop, Uda Ox. Cairo, 507 E. Mercer St. 8 p.m. $5. All ages. ERIN K. THOMPSON

EDITOR’S PICK

THURSDAY, JUNE 14

Over a year after becoming the dark-horse, wild-card winner of 2011’s Sound Off! competition, Tomten is releasing its first full-length album, Wednesday’s Children: 12 breezy pop-rock tunes recorded in analog in just five days. Tomten’s music combines a vintage sound and sophistication with an underlying sense of youth and playfulness; one song, “Ta Ta Dana,” is named after frontman Brian Noyeswatkins’ crush on The X-Files’ Dana Scully. “I think it’s rare that people listen to records start-to-finish nowadays,” Noyeswatkins told me in a recent e-mail. “So if this record incites one to sit down with a glass of Laphroaig and dream their life away, I’ll be quite tickled.” After tonight’s show, Noyeswatkins says, the band will be taking a break to “toy around with our sound and work on new material for the next record,” so catch their current incarnation while you still can. With The Curious Mystery, Posse. Columbia City Theater, 4916 Rainier Ave. S., 722-3009. 8 p.m. $8. ERIN K. THOMPSON

With Witch Disco, Hoot N Howl. Chop Suey, 1325 E. Madison St., 324-8000. 9 p.m. $8. ERIC GRANDY

John Fogerty SATURDAY, JUNE 16

In a week fraught with tribute acts, none is more authentic than John Fogerty paying tribute to himself. Fogerty’s upcoming album, Wrote a Song for Everyone, features the likes of Foo Fighters, Bob Seger (fuck yeah!), Brad Paisley, and Miranda Lambert collaborating with him on versions of CCR songs as well as a handful of his solo “hits.” If it worked for Lionel Richie, who’s to say

Showbox at the Market, 1426 First Ave., 628-3151. 8 p.m. $15 adv./$18 DOS. All ages. TODD HAMM

TOMTEN

JACOB ROSEN

Seattle weekly • JU N E 13–19, 2012

RENEE MCMAHON

Vockah Redu

FRIDAY, JUNE 15

ISABEL THERIOT

Secret Colors

With a knack for writing easily relatable, vaguely empowering songs and an unfailing ear for crowd-pleasing pop production, Seattle MC Sol has been able to cultivate a sizable following on the local college scene and beyond. He’s an artist with many of the right tools, and what shortcomings he has might very well be worked out with time and life experience. As a result of his exemplary academic performance at the UW, the young lyricist has accepted the Bonderman Travel Fellowship, which will send him around the world for the nine months following this show—an opportunity that could very well mark the transformation of an artist. With XV, the Physics.

GAVIN GUSS “Riga In The Fall” Limited Edition 7”

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Seattle w ee kly • JUN E 13–19, 2012

EARLY CUYLER FROM SQUIDBILLIES ON ADULT SWIM

seven»nights

TEDESCHI TRUCKS BAND

FRIDAY, JUNE 15

will be its last. Vera Project, 305 Harrison St., 956-8372, thevera project.org. 7:30 p.m. $10. All ages. LOZEN A punk two-piece that churns out scrappy garage rock, Lozen will release Para Vida at this show. With Gaytheist, Great Falls. Sunset Tavern. 10 p.m. $7. MY GOODNESS This duo plays Black Keys–esque blues-rock; along with the opener, rising punk dudes Dude York, this promises to be a loud, loud show. With Young Evils. Neumos. 8 p.m. $10. UNKNOWN HINSON Part comedian, part country songwriter, and part novelty act, Hinson has also found work as a voice actor on the Cartoon Network show Squidbillies. Tractor Tavern. 9:30 p.m. $18 adv./ $20 DOS.

After one Grammy for him and a handful of nods for her, Derek Trucks and Susan Tedeschi were finally able to cut through the red tape between their respective record labels and make a proper album together. Last year’s Revelator promptly took home the statue for Best Blues Album, giving the husband-and-wife leaders of the 11-piece Tedeschi Trucks band “I told you so” rights. “I’ve always found that, especially in the music business, you just have to be incredibly stubborn about what you believe in,” Trucks told me recently during a call from his home in Florida. “You decide what kind of band you’re going to be. You decide what kind of record you’re going to make.” Now that they’ve broken the seal, there’s no turning back. The band just released a live record, Everybody’s Talkin’, and Trucks says the couple has no plans to keep their solo endeavors in the wings as safety nets. “I think to make great music, there’s got to be that threat all times,” Trucks says. “It’s so easy to get complacent and just phone it in with anything you do. With music . . . either

Sunday, June 17 COLLECTIVE SOUL Best known

their second album on Barsuk Records, the intricate and hypnotic Beware and Be Grateful, in April. With The Big Sleep, Hands. The Crocodile, 2200 Second Ave., 441-7416, thecrocodile.com. 8 p.m. $12. All ages. PATRICK WATSON The Quebecois Polaris Prize– winning band is touring in support of their adventurous fourth studio album, Adventures in Your Own Backyard. With Cat Martino. Columbia City Theater, 4916 Rainier Ave. S., 7223009, columbiacitytheater. com. 8:30 p.m. $15. TRIBAL SEEDS True to form, this San Diego reggae group released a dub remix of its latest single, “Did Wrong,” to commemorate 4/20. With Through the Roots, Chris Molina. Nectar, 412 N. 36th St., 632-2020, nectarlounge.com. 8 p.m. $13–$15. All ages. T H I S CO D E YARDS This Portland TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE group’s expansive, experiSEATTLE WEEKLY mental rock sound has IPHONE/ANDROID APP drawn comparisons to FOR MORE CONCERTS OR VISIT artists like Godspeed You! seattleweekly.com Black Emperor and Mogwai. With Ticktockman. Sunset Tavern, 5433 Ballard Ave. N.W., 784-4880, sunsettavern.com. 9 p.m. $7.

Seattle weekly • JU N E 13–19, 2012

SCAN

Thursday, June 14 MICKEY AVALON The rapping embodiment of the Los

Angeles sleaze scene, an Avalon show might facilitate a one-night stand and necessitate a shower. With Millionaires, Jinx. Showbox at the Market, 1426 First Ave., 628-3151, showboxonline.com. 8 p.m. $17.50 adv./$20 DOS. All ages. THE BEAT DOWN The debut of this second-Tuesdays dance party will feature DJs Recess, Nark, and Kadeejah Streets. Hosted by local electro-pop star Lisa Dank. Barboza, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9951, thebarboza. com. 9 p.m. $5. FAMILY STONED Tonight, a trio of Cairo-incubated Seattle art-punk acts, headlined by the, ahem, slyly named—and difficult to Google—psych-sludge droners Family Stoned. With M. Women, Half Gift. Chop Suey, 1325 E. Madison St., 324-8005, chopsuey. com. 8 p.m. $7. Send events to music@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings = Recommended, NC = no charge, AA = all ages.

42 •

End, this local hip-hop collective deals in chilled-out, soulful beats. With Donte Peace, PetaTosh, Gizzle, Juga Hill, Shaq Mckissic. Neumos, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9442, neumos.com. 8 p.m. $10. BILL FRISELL A Seattle resident and eclectic jazz guitarist, Frisell will perform selections from All We Are Saying, his album of John Lennon covers, during this four-night residency. Jazz Alley, 2033 Sixth Ave., 441-9729, jazzalley.com. 7:30 & 9:30 p.m. $26.50. All ages. (Also 7:30 & 9:30 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 7:30 p.m. Sun.) PRIMUS Last year saw the release of Green Naugahyde, the first studio album in 12 years from Les Claypool’s genre-bending power trio. Marymoor Amphitheater, 6046 W. Lake Sammamish Pkwy. N.E., Redmond, 628-0888, concertsatmarymoor.com. 7 p.m. $43.50. All ages. SONGS OF SUMMER The stellar local bands involved in this charity show benefiting the Rainier Valley Food Bank are expected to play their own songs, but if the charmingly eccentric Gabriel “Rumple” Mintz doesn’t throw in a cover of Len’s “Steal My Sunshine,” you should heckle him. With Lemolo, Noah Gundersen, Matt & Mike Gervais, Big Sur, Ghosts I’ve Met, Sons of Warren Oates, Hannalee, Brad Loomis, Steve Norman, Phil O’Sullivan. Triple Door, 216 Union St., 838-4333, thetripledoor.net. 7:30 p.m. $25 adv./$30 DOS. All ages.

Friday, June 15 BIG SANDY AND HIS FLY-RITE BOYS This Southern

California four-piece specializes in American roots music and Western swing. With Marshall Scott Warner, the Black Crabs. Tractor Tavern, 5231 Ballard Ave. N.W., 789-3599, tractortavern.com. 9:30 p.m. $15. GRAVE BABIES This goth-wave group released the unsubtly named Gothdammit EP on Hardly Art in April. With Light House, Mode Moderne, Baby Guns. JewelBox/Rendezvous, 2322 Second Ave., 441-5823, jewelboxtheater.com. 10 p.m. $6. JAIL WEDDINGS This soul-tinged Los Angeles rock group has an expansive sound as big as its nine-man lineup would suggest. With Country Lips, General Motors. Comet Tavern, 922 E. Pike St., 322-9272, comettavern.com. 9 p.m. $10. MARDUK These Swedish black-metal masters are ready to rip your corpse-painted face off with the blistering tunes from their latest, Serpent Sermon. Come prepared to headbang until your neck breaks. With 1349, Withered, Weapon, Funeral Age. Studio Seven, 110 S. Horton St., 286-1312, studioseven.us. 6 p.m. $16 adv./ $18 DOS. All ages.

Saturday, June 16 BRITE FUTURES After nearly seven years, Seattle’s

favorite electro-pop outfit once named after Natalie Portman’s buzz cut is calling it quits—tonight’s show

Monday, June 18 DESERT NOISES This Utah band’s earnest indie-folk

sound fits nicely with those of some of its former tourmates, Local Natives and The Head and the Heart. With Jim Hanft. High Dive. $6. 8 p.m. FINGERS OF THE SUN Groups like the Zombies and the Kinks are a clear influence on this Denver band’s psychedelic pop sound. With Pony Time. Comet Tavern. 9 p.m. $6.

CHRISTINE COOL

MAPS & ATLASES This mathy Chicago quartet released

FRESH PRESERVES On October’s laid-back The Deep

Fingers of the Sun hit the Comet on June 18.

Tuesday, June 19 BENNY GREEN TRIO Pianist Green is touring behind

Source, his first trio album in more than 10 years. Jazz Alley. 7:30 p.m. $19.50. All ages. BLACK MAGIC NOIZE Everett’s BMN is an arts community, record label, and message-oriented hip-hop group, the latter of which will perform at this show. With Julie C, Dub and Jender, Remex, Dan Manno. JewelBox/ Rendezvous. 9 p.m. $5. TERRY MALTS This Slumberland Records band plays fuzzed-out power-pop on its latest LP, Killing Time. With Permanent Collection, Devin. Barboza. 8 p.m. $10 adv. SCISSOR SISTERS The musical and sexual astronauts bring their indelible brand of 21st-century disco-pop voyeurism to the Paramount in support of last month’s Magic Hour. You just celebrated Father’s Day, so be sure to take your mama out all night. With Rye Rye. The Paramount, 911 Pine St., 877-784-4849. 8 p.m. $31 adv./$33.25 DOS. All ages.

COURTESY ON TOUR PR

BRIGITTE HENRY

Patrick Watson plays Columbia City Theater on June 13.

Wednesday, June 13

for its litany of alt-rock hits in the ’90s (most notably “Shine”), this Atlanta band was inducted into Georgia’s music hall of fame in 2009. The Neptune, 1303 N.E. 45th St., 784-4849, stgpresents.org. 8 p.m. $26. All ages. MANOOGHI HI This worldly local group infuses rock and electronica with elements of traditional Indian music. With Thrivealike. Nectar. 8 p.m. $6. YOUNG EVILS This folk-pop band topped Paste magazine’s recent list of “12 Washington bands you should listen to now.” With D.evolution.Aires, Red Jacket Mine. High Dive, 513 N. 36th St., 632-0212, highdiveseattle.com. 8 p.m. Free.

it’s urgent . . . or kind of worthless. It’s gotta be forward-momentum the whole time. Otherwise, do something else.” To Trucks fans, Everybody’s Talkin’ provides a reason to be OK with life without the Derek Trucks Band. Revelator veered a little too close to the adult-fabricated, “next Bonnie Raitt” territory Tedeschi always seemed to be reluctantly nudged toward, and didn’t give Trucks the space to run up the board as he could on his own records. But Everybody’s Talkin’ is closer to the best-case scenario that the potential in their musical marriage promised, with Tedeschi’s growling vocals and melodic sensibility providing the ideal framework for Trucks to sing through the guitar like no other player working today. Through Trucks will admit that finding room to stretch in an 11-piece band is a challenge. As is not being competitive with the woman—and guitarist—he shares a bed with. “There’s certain times [that] there are things she does that I’m not even gonna attempt to do,” he says. “If it’s in your wheelhouse, that’s your spot, and you do it. That’s what’s great about this band: Everybody’s finding their spot.” The Paramount, 911 Pike St., 877-784-4849. 7:30 p.m. $25–$64.25. All ages. CHRIS KORNELIS

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Free, Mondays, Tuesdays, 8 p.m.-2 a.m. AMORE INFUSED 522 Wall St., 770-0606, tasteofamore. com, Free, Tuesdays, 7 p.m. ATLANTIC CROSSING 6508 Roosevelt Way N.E., 729-6266, theatlanticcrossing.com, Free, Mondays, 9 p.m. BISHOP’S ALEHOUSE 11848 98th Ave. NE, Kirkland, 425-629-3742, bishopsalehouse.com, Free, Wednesdays, Thursdays, 9 p.m. BLARNEY STONE 1909 Third Ave., 448-8439, blarneystoneseattle.com, Free, Saturdays, 9 p.m. BOGART’S AIRPORT WAY 3924 Airport Way S., 622-1119, bogartsairportway.com, Free, Mondays, WednesdaysSaturdays, 9 p.m. BOXCAR ALEHOUSE 3407 Gilman Ave. W., 286-6000, Free, Thursdays, Saturdays, 9 p.m. BUSH GARDEN 614 Maynard Ave. S., 682-6830, bushgarden.net, Free, Sundays, 5 p.m.; MondaysThursdays, Saturdays, 9:30 p.m. CHANGES BAR & GRILL 2103 N. 45th St., 545-8363, changesinwallingford.com, Free, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Sundays, 9 p.m. CITRUS 1001 Fairview Ave. N., 402-6364, citruslakeunion. com, Free, Mondays, 10 p.m. CRESCENT LOUNGE 1413 E. Olive Way, 324-5358, Free, Daily, 9 p.m. DANTE’S 5300 Roosevelt Way N.E., 525-1300, dantesseattle.com, Free, Mondays, 9 p.m.

DUBLINER PUB 3517 Fremont Ave. N., 548-1508, dubliner-

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fourseasrestaurant.com, Free, Thursdays-Saturdays, 9 p.m. FOURNO’S GREEK RESTAURANT 4733 University Way N.E., 729-5195, Free, Tuesdays, 10 p.m. HIGHLINER PUB AND GRILL 3909 18th Ave. W., 2832233, Free, Fridays, 8 p.m. HULA HULA 106 First Ave. N., 284-5003, hulahula.org, Free, Daily, 4 p.m.-2 a.m. INDUSTRY LOUNGE 6601 E. Marginal Way S., 762-3453, myspace.com/206industrylounge, Free, Sundays, 9 p.m.. KATE’S PUB 309 N.E. 45th St., 547-6832, Free, Wednesdays, 10 p.m. LITTLE RED HEN 7115 Woodlawn Ave. N.E., 522-1168, littleredhen.com, Free, Mondays, Wednesdays, 9 p.m. MARCO POLO BAR & GRILL 5613 Fourth Ave. S., 7623964, marcopolopub.com, Free, Fridays, Saturdays, 9 p.m. MOLLY MAGUIRE’S 610 N.W. 65th St., 789-9643, seattleirishpubs.com/mollys/index.htm, Free, Thursdays, 9 p.m. MONKEY PUB 5305 Roosevelt Way N.E., 523-6457, myspace.com/monkeypub, Free, Sundays, 6:30 p.m. OHANA BELLTOWN 2207 First Ave., 956-9329, ohanabelltown.com, Free, Sundays, 10 p.m. OULD TRIANGLE 9736 Greenwood Ave. N., 706-7798, Send events to karaoke@seattleweekly.com

KaraoKeKorrespondent » by jeff roman

Caroline in the City

Seattle weekly • JU N E 13–19, 2012

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The Caroline Tavern in Jackson Park has been serving drinks since Prohibition (it opened the year the golf course did, 1928), but they’ve only offered karaoke since last year. That’s ironic when you consider the place shares its name with one of the most popular karaoke anthems of all time, Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline.” Though I was by myself, it was a Monday, and I’d never been there before, I was confident it would be a good time. North-end karaoke bars have never let me down, and I’m always inspired to come through with my best stuff whenever I sing along 15th Avenue Northeast. I arrived around 10 p.m., and a lot of people were there that night. All the seats in the bar section were taken, but the area just outside of there, where the stage was set up, was wide open. I grabbed a songbook and took a seat between the two areas. It’s a very casual setup. The KJs were two gals named Diane and Monique, who called themselves “DiMo.” Diane handled changing the discs and Monique announced the singers. Judging by the way they interacted with the crowd, they were clearly friends of the bar and were doing this purely out of fun. There wasn’t much of a song selection, but the regulars had no problem finding numbers to sing. During my first half-hour there, no one really stuck out until Barry, a guy in his late 30s who’d won their karaoke contest a couple of weeks back. He sang “Apologize” by OneRepublic, and I am not exaggerating when I say he was on the same vocal level as Clay Aiken. He was incredible, and everyone at the bar gave him a huge ovation. I was the sorry sack who had to follow that, but fortunately I had

a good Lynyrd Skynyrd number picked, “Tuesday’s Gone,” and I nailed it. The hits kept coming when KJ Diane absolutely crushed Mariah Carey’s version of Harry Nilsson’s gutwrenching classic, “Without You.” As soon as she was done, I was convinced I had just witnessed the best one-two-three punch of karaoke performances delivered anywhere that night. Everyone else stepped up their games after that. This guy named Warfield sang an inspired rendition of “Zero” by Smashing Pumpkins. Then Jessica, the bartender, got in the mix with a solid performance of Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know.” She was followed by a big, burly dude named Derrick who sang the Bee Gees’ “Stayin’ Alive” the only way it should be sung: in full falsetto. A guy named Joe who acted as a one-man cheering section for everyone all night sang “Slide” by the Goo Goo Dolls. It’s a number I perform very well, but don’t have the balls to sing in public. I got up and shook his hand after he was done. The night ends before you know it here. They only go until midnight, but that cutoff time works for them because singers stick around and keep turning in slips until no time is left. Barry’s second and final number was Gary Jules’ version of “Mad World” from the Donnie Darko soundtrack. It was brilliant. I was able to get in two more songs, Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl” and “Melissa” by the Allman Brothers, and both songs got me high fives as I made my way back to my seat. This is the best crowd I’ve encountered in a very long time. E karaoke@seattleweekly.com THE CAROLINE TAVERN 13702 15th Ave. N.E., 453-5642, JACKSON PARK

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seattleirishpubs.com/triangle/index.htm, Free, Wednesdays, 9 p.m.

OZZIE’S RESTAURANT AND LOUNGE 105 W. Mercer

St., 284-4618, ozziesseattle.com, Free, Daily, 9 p.m. R PLACE 619 E. Pine St., 322-8828, rplaceseattle.com, Free, Mondays, Tuesdays, Sundays, 9 p.m.

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784-9627, therickshaw.net, Free, Daily, 9 p.m.-2 a.m. ROCK BOX 1603 Nagle Place, 302-7625, rockboxseattle.com, $7 per person per hour ($4 per person per hour during happy hour), Daily, 4 p.m.-2 a.m. ROOSEVELT ALE HOUSE

8824 Roosevelt Way, 527-5480, rooseveltalehouse.com, Free, Thursdays, 9 p.m. SCARLET TREE 801 N.E. 65th St. C, 523-8888, scarlet-tree. com, Free, Tuesdays, 9:30 p.m. SPECTATOR 529 Queen Anne Ave. N., 599-4263, thespectatorsports.com, Free, Thursdays-Saturdays, 9:30 p.m.

TALARICO’S 4718 California Ave. S.W., 937-3463,

talaricoswest.com, Free, Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, Sundays, 9:30 p.m. TARASCO MEXICAN RESTAURANT 1452 NW 70th St., 782-1485, Free, Saturdays, 9 p.m. THE CROCODILE 2200 Second Ave., 441-7416, thecrocodile.com, Free, Tuesdays, 9 p.m. THE CUFF 1533 13th Ave., 323-1525, cuffcomplex.com, Free, Thursdays, 8 p.m. THERMO’S TAVERN 7515 15th Ave. NW, 706-4973, Free, Saturdays, 9 p.m. TIM’S TAVERN 602 N. 105th St., 789-9005, Free, TuesdaysThursdays, 9 p.m. TONY’S BAR & GRILL 14417 124th Ave. NE, Kirkland, 425-825-8669, Free, Mondays-Saturdays, 9 p.m. TUG INN 2216 SW Orchard St., 768-8852, tuginn.com, Free, Sundays, 8 p.m.; Wednesdays, 8 p.m. VENUS KARAOKE 601 S. King St., 264-1779, Varies, Daily, 2:30 p.m.-2 a.m. WATERWHEEL LOUNGE 7034 15th Ave. N.W., 784-5701, thewaterwheellounge.com, Free, Tuesdays, Fridays, Saturdays, 8:30 p.m. WHITE RABBIT 513 N. 36th St., 588-0155, fremontwhite rabbit.com, Free, Wednesdays, 9 p.m. YEN WOR VILLAGE RESTAURANT 2300 California Ave. SW, 932-1455, yenworseattle.com, Free, Daily, 9 p.m.

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n a visit to the medical-marijuana access point Pharmaseed on a recent sunny Saturday, I had a realization: There’s something fun about a drive to Alki Beach that’s missionindependent. Whatever business you have to conduct there gets a hazy glow of happiness just because the place is so darn scenic and cheery. The locals’ friendly demeanor mirrors the natural beauty surrounding them. There’s a thrumming, life-affirming vibrancy to the shops and sidewalks. Pharmaseed doesn’t display any signage. There’s no clue on the outside as to the nature of any business transacted within, so you’re going to need to know where you’re going. Once you get inside the waiting room—smallish, but well-stocked with cannabis-related reading materials—a sign on the doorway to the bud room provides something of a return to reality, and that brings us to the parking issue. Judging by that sign, Pharmaseed has had complaints from its neighbors about patients parking inappropriately near the shop, and that’s quite understandable. My friend and fellow patient Bobby had to drive around the block a few times before he finally found a parking space—three blocks away. The sign warns patients not to park in a way that inconveniences the neighbors; doing this more than once can apparently get you banned from the premises—something to keep in mind if you’re tempted to park illegally. Parking issues aside, budtender Spence is very knowledgeable about flowers and concentrates, somewhat less so about the medibles (he doesn’t personally enjoy edible

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forms of cannabis). There was just one strain for an $8/gram donation and five $12 strains available on the day I visited. My friend Bobby only recently got his authorization, and Spence was very patient and helpful in answering his questions, guiding him through the selection of cannabis concentrates and explaining the differences among kief (cannabis trichomes), hash, and hash oil. I selected two $12 strains, getting an eighth-ounce of each (at $40 an eighth): the indica Blue Berry and the sativa-dominant hybrid Bubble Jack (Bubble Gum x Skunk x Jack Herer). Super Silver Haze was the only pure sativa available the day I visited. Blue Berry has a subtly sweet berry aroma and taste. Its tight, small, emeraldgreen nugs proved quite effective against pain, but its couchlock tendencies weren’t as pronounced as with many indicas. I found it easier to function after smoking Blue Berry than after some power-hitter indicas such as the Hog or L.A. Confidential, for example. The hybrid, Bubble Jack, has a diesel bouquet with skunky undertones. Its dark-green flowers sport an abundant forest of red hairs and trichome-coated calyxes. Toking Bubble Jack revealed an interesting and delightful fact: It is very effective against pain, unlike some sativa strains, in addition to having the typical sativa “head high” with euphoric and mood-lifting effects. It’s a great solution for patients looking for both pain relief and functionality, proving these things don’t have to be mutually exclusive. E

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Come Come celebrate celebrate thethe release release of the of the new new book book by by Seattle Seattle Weekly’s Weekly’s “Dategirl,” “Dategirl,” Judy Judy McGuire, McGuire, at the at the Sunset Sunset Tavern Tavern (5433 (5433 Ballard Ballard Ave. Ave. N.W., N.W., 784-4880) 784-4880) onon Thursday, Thursday, June June 14 14 from from 6–8 6–8 p.m. p.m. DJDJ El El Toro Toro spins, spins, and and there’ll there’ll be be giveaways, giveaways, a a trivia trivia contest contest (e.g., (e.g., How How many many rockers rockers croaked croaked viavia autoerotic autoerotic asphyxiaasphyxiation?), tion?), and and several several filthy filthy surprises. surprises. Dear Dear Dategirl, Dategirl, MyMy wife wife hashas a habit a habit that that grosses grosses meme outout and and is putting is putting a huge a huge dent dent in our in our sexsex life: life: She She moves moves herher bowbowelsels at night. at night. Like Like most most working working couples, couples, ourour mornings mornings areare frantic frantic and and rushed, rushed, so so if if we’re we’re going going to have to have sex, sex, it usually it usually haphappens pens at night. at night. ButBut lately lately she’ll she’ll excuse excuse herself herself to the to the bathroom bathroom right right after after dinner! dinner! WeWe have have a a very very small small house, house, and and luckily luckily thethe fanfan deals deals with with thethe smell, smell, butbut I know I know what’s what’s going going onon in there. in there. I really I really don’t don’t want want to make to make love love to someone to someone who who hashas just just made made a bowel a bowel movement. movement. I’veI’ve tried tried talking talking to her to her about about it, but it, but she’s she’s very very disdismissive. missive. I’veI’ve even even considered considered putting putting laxative laxative in her in her morning morning coffee, coffee, butbut I’mI’m afraid afraid that that might might cause cause herher anan accident. accident. I realize I realize you you probably probably don’t don’t have have thethe expertise expertise to tell to tell meme how how sheshe cancan reschedule reschedule herself, herself, butbut cancan you you help help meme figure figure outout a way a way that that she’ll she’ll take take meme seriously? seriously? —Disgusted, —Disgusted, butbut Doesn’t Doesn’t Want Want Divorce Divorce

Some Some people people onon thisthis planet planet simply simply don’t don’t deserve deserve to have to have sex, sex, and and you, you, mymy dear, dear, areare oneone of them. of them. Your Your horniness horniness depends depends onon when when your your wife wife takes takes a crap? a crap? Unless Unless she’s she’s a bad a bad wiper wiper or or a chronic a chronic leaker, leaker, I can’t I can’t imagine imagine why why thisthis is an is an issue. issue. It doesn’t It doesn’t sound sound likelike she’s she’s anan open-door open-door dumper dumper (which (which I would I would agree agree is disgusting), is disgusting), nornor dodo youyou mention mention anyany lingering lingering dingleberries dingleberries in the in the asscrack. asscrack. SoSo what what is the is the problem? problem? You You must must be be one one of those of those guys guys who who grew grew

part hair, I imagine marriage was quite part hair, so so I imagine marriage was quite a a rude awakening you. fact every rude awakening forfor you. ButBut thethe fact is, is, every healthy person this planet shits. when healthy person onon this planet shits. It’sIt’s when stop pooping that into trouble. youyou stop pooping that youyou runrun into trouble. I I mean, there’s even a kid’s book called Everymean, there’s even a kid’s book called Everybody Poops. I guess missed that one. body Poops. I guess youyou missed that one. The fact post-poop pork is probably The fact is, is, thethe post-poop pork is probably better everyone. (Well, everyone except better forfor everyone. (Well, everyone except pussy who spent prior thethe pussy who justjust spent thethe prior minutes dry-heaving at the 10 10 minutes dry-heaving at the thought of his wife pinching thought of his wife pinching a a loaf.) Once she’s pooped, there’s loaf.) Once she’s pooped, there’s fecal matter clogging nono fecal matter clogging upup herher insides, making heavy insides, making herher feelfeel heavy and bloated. There’s way more and bloated. There’s way more energy acrobatics when energy forfor acrobatics when you’re carrying around you’re notnot carrying around a a little food baby in your colon. little food baby in your colon. And if you’re into anal, that path And if you’re into anal, that path is clear, though I imagine someone is clear, though I imagine someone squeamish about defecation isn’t so so squeamish about defecation isn’t exactly man. exactly anan assass man. fact, a lot of people find fucking in the In In fact, a lot of people find fucking in the morning, before they’ve brushed their teeth morning, before they’ve brushed their teeth or or dropped kids at the pool, kind of gross. dropped thethe kids offoff at the pool, kind of gross. And blow jobs—how they kind of disAnd blow jobs—how areare they notnot kind of disgusting? comes of that hole! gusting? PeePee comes outout of that hole! I’llI’ll betbet blow jobs though, don’t you? You youyou likelike blow jobs though, don’t you? You see,see, uptight friend, is supposed to be dirty. mymy uptight friend, sexsex is supposed to be dirty. I can’t really advise how to convince I can’t really advise youyou onon how to convince your wife to take your poophobia seriously, your wife to take your poophobia seriously, because if my boyfriend wanted to reschedbecause if my boyfriend wanted meme to rescheddeuces, probably piss myself laughuleule mymy deuces, I’dI’d probably piss myself laugh(No doubt you’d find that even bigger ing.ing. (No doubt you’d find that anan even bigger turnoff.) best suggestion is that either turnoff.) MyMy best suggestion is that youyou either man and fuck your wife regardless of her man upup and fuck your wife regardless of her fecal timing, divorce and yourself fecal timing, or or divorce herher and getget yourself a Real Doll. Then you’ll never have to worry a Real Doll. Then you’ll never have to worry about shit—besides your own—again. about shit—besides your own—again. EE dategirl@seattleweekly.com dategirl@seattleweekly.com WANT WANT MORE? MORE? The The Mike Mike & Judy & Judy Show Show onon Listen Listen to to Judy Judy onon thethe Heritage Heritage Radio Radio Network, Network, follow follow herher tweets tweets @DailyDategirl, @DailyDategirl, or or visit visit dategirl.net. dategirl.net.

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Seattle weekly • JU N E 13–19, 2012

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