Seattle Weekly, November 28, 2012

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The government accused Osama’s chauffeur of being a terrorist. It was up to a team of Seattle lawyers to prove otherwise.

By Rick Anderson

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the daily weekly | How Arizona busybodies are trying to block Washington’s same-sex marriages. Also, protesting puppy poo and bringing a bad vet to heel.

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by Rick andeRson | When Osama

in back 15 the weekly wire The 5th gets its Elf on, John Cage is celebrated at the Henry, and the Parlor welcomes J.B. Smoove.

16 arts

16 | Visual aRts | How Tacoma

spurned Andy Warhol.

27 FOOD

27 | gRub | Let them eat cake.

28 | FiRst call | Peppers and peaches.

29 | a little Raskin | Introducing

budding chefs to Korean cuisine.

Earrings by Michael Good

33 MusiC

33 | 20/20 cycle | A bike shop brings

local bands to the CD. 34 | duFF | Tips for holiday reading.

36 | the shoRt list | Death Grips,

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18 | peRFoRmance 19 | Visual aRts 23 | Film calendaR 28 | FeatuRed eats 38 | seVen nights 39 | dategiRl 41 | toke signals

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22 | Film ReView | Brad Pitt as a recession-era hit man in Killing Them Softly.

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bin Laden’s chauffeur, Salim Hamdan, was accused of being a terrorist, he thought he’d disappear into Gitmo forever. Here’s the story of the Seattle attorneys who tried to get him out.

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news»The Daily Weekly

alex sepkus

»dispatches from our news blog

trunk show

Dirty Dogs Denied

A record number of marriage licenses should be issued December 6, despite the machinations of opponents.

L

Satterfield said the office is undeterred by the Alliance’s actions, and that none of the 20 staff members deputized to issue marriage licenses has raised any conscience-based objections.“We expect people to do their job as defined in the collective-bargaining agreement, which is to issue licenses to all comers.”

Speaking of all comers, Satterfield says that on December 6, his office will almost certainly shatter the record for the number of

licenses issued in a single day in King County.

The current record is 212, recorded on July 7, 2007 by couples who no doubt believed that 7/7/07 had to be a lucky day. Predicts Satterfield, “We’re going to double and probably triple that number.” ELLIS E. CONKLIN

Fecal Face-Off

A dispute over dogs—to be more specific, their crap—at Evergreen Washelli Funeral Home and Cemetery on Aurora Avenue has led one Seattle man to go to great lengths to get his point across. He says dog owners who frequent the cemetery often let their dogs run off-leash, and sometimes these dogs do their business where they shouldn’t—near headstones and burial sites.

This angry man is so disturbed by the dogs frequenting the cemetery that for four days earlier this month he stood outside Evergreen Washelli and protested, raising a serious one-man stink about something that funeral home general manager Scott Sheehan says he’s never received a similar complaint about in 15 years on the job.

The poop-protestor is Ken, a Seattle resident who doesn’t want to give his full identity because he fears backlash. He’s had his car smeared with feces while holding his sign in front of Evergreen Washelli, you see, and that can apparently scar someone. “It looked like it had been multiple larger dogshits in the bag,” recalls Ken. “It wasn’t just a little tiny poop. It was literally smeared all over.”

In his late 30s, Ken says three generations of his relatives are buried at the cemetery, and visits every month or so. By the sound of it, his unhappiness over Evergreen Washelli’s dog policy has long been festering. In addition to the time he spent holding a sign on Aurora, he also on one occasion

» Continued on page 9

Se attle weekly • NOVEMBER 28− DECEMBER 4, 2012

“A lot of the staff are cheerfully volunteering to work overnight shifts” on December 6.

Dan Carino

ike a dog with a bone, religious groups such as the Scottsdale, Ariz.-based Alliance Defending Freedom won’t let it go. Fiercely opposed to same-sex marriage, they’re trying their damnedest to throw up as many obstacles as possible to keep gay couples in Washington from being able to legally wed at the stroke of midnight on Thursday, December 6.

In their latest sour-grapes tactic, Alliance lawyers have dispatched legal-sounding memos to municipal and county clerks in Maine, Maryland, and Washington—the three states which just approved gay marriage by popular vote—advising them that their staff can refuse to issue a gay couple a license if they feel it violates their religion or conscience.

“No American should be forced to give up a constitutionally protected freedom, nor should any American be forced to give up his or her job to maintain that freedom,” ADF Senior Counsel Austin R. Nimocks told Charisma News, a Christian news website.

“Religious freedom is paramount to every American, including those issuing marriage licenses. They can perform their job without violating their conscience.”

Whatever the case, it seems a fairly moot point here on the local front. The King County Recorders Office says no gay couple need fear any marriage-license clerks going rogue next week. Recorders Office spokesman Cameron Satterfield, in fact, told The Daily Weekly that “a lot of the staff are cheerfully volunteering to work overnight shifts” on December 6.

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news» The Daily Weekly » from page 7

But Rule was a different story. In 2009, animal-rights lawyer Adam Karp filed a complaint with the DOH that cited employees of Rule who claimed that their boss deliberately manhandled animals.

Here’s what one staffer said, quoted in the complaint: “Once, in or around 2007, a Chihuahua was terrorized in the cage by doctor. [Rule] was banging on the cage door, growling at the dog, jumping toward it, trying to get the dog worked up. When he pulled the dog out of the cage, it snapped and growled at

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Se attle weekly • NOVEMBER 28− DECEMBER 4, 2012

took his message to the Evergreen Washelli funeral home in Bothell. And that’s not counting the letters he’s written to national funeral-home and cemetery organizations expressing his concerns.

Ken says large open spaces within Evergreen Washelli’s 160 acres attract off-leash dogs, even though the cemetery has signs instructing dog owners to keep their canine companions tethered. Ken says the open spaces, which have no burials and are used for larger events at the cemetery, are basiRule says he was cally considered off-leash dog parks by the not choking the dog surrounding community. “When a person enters the cemetery to visit someone, they but merely holding the either have a good mood, a bad mood, or a sad animal “in the only safe mood—but they are there for one specific reaplace” possible. son, and that’s to visit their dead. And that’s my problem,” says Ken. “When you’re in that Dr. Rule, who then started choking the dog mood, that state, [dog crap] is not something on the table. The dog was lying on its side. you should have to deal with.”

He put his hand around the dog’s neck and Sheehan disagrees that neighbors consider choked it to the point that it passed out. Dr. the area an off-leash dog park, though he Rule said he learned this as a way to get an notes that people can and do break the rules animal under control. I was shaking from sometimes. And he says he’s never encounwitnessing this episode.” tered anyone as upset as Ken about the dogs Finally, just last month, DOH’s State that visit Evergreen Washelli. Though he Veterinary Board of Governors released a respects Ken’s feelings, Sheehan says his prostatement of charges that mirrors many of test is greatly overstating the poop problem, adding that during his tenure at the cemetery, the claims in Karp’s complaint. It accuses geese and flower-dumping crows have caused Rule of “physically and psychologically abusing patients.” far more complaints than dog poop. “[The But that’s not all. The board also says that cemetery has] never been intended to be a Rule allowed, and in one case pressured, unlidog park,” says Sheehan. “The whole park is censed assistants to perform surgery. That’s identified at every entrance as an ‘on-leash’ strictly forbidden by dog area. Do we use the DOH rules. Then again, full force of police to Rule apparently wasn’t enforce it? Absolutely Print is great, so great at wielding the not. We don’t want to but if you want to read . . . about how pot legalization is like Pink knife either. Accusing upset folks, either.

Floyd, check it out on The Daily Weekly.

Rule of providing sub“The reality is, some SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM/DAILYWEEKLY standard care, the stateof the folks, I think, they ment says that in one know that our grounds case, Rule nicked the spleen of a dog named crew leaves at 4:30 [p.m.], and they’ll come Daisy. She started to bleed. Rule couldn’t in after work or whatever. And gosh, we control it. And Daisy bled to death. don’t have a way to police it 24 hours a day,” His surgical skills, not to mention his attiSheehan continues. “Other than throwing an tude toward his patients, might have someeight-foot-tall chain-link fence around the thing to do with his habit of dipping into the entire thing, which doesn’t promote what the clinic’s stock of the pain reliever Tramadol, cemetery is.” MATT DRISCOLL according to employees cited in the statement of charges.

In a conversation with SW, Rule says that What kind of veterinarian punches animals the accusations of abuse “grossly twisted what actually happened.” In the incident in the face? Or taunts them by growling at them? Or, worse yet, tightens his hand around with the Chihuahua, for instance, he says he was not choking the dog but merely holding a dog’s neck until it loses consciousness? the animal “in the only safe place” possible A very, very bad one, obviously, and quite while putting a muzzle on it. The employee possibly one who’s more than a little sick. who said she had been traumatized by the Ferndale’s Peter Rule might be just such a alleged choking continued to bring her dog to veterinarian, if the charges levied against him him, Rule adds. by the state Department of Health are true.

The veterinarian also denies letting assisWe wrote about Rule a couple of years ago tants perform surgery, and says that while he in a cover story (“Just One of Those Things,” at one point took Tramadol without a preSept. 29, 2010) on pet owners who are taking scription, it did not interfere with his surgical veterinarians to court over perceived misperformance. treatment of their beloved four-legged family “I’m not saying I don’t make mistakes,” he members. In most of the cases described, pet owners simply claimed that their animals had concedes—accepting responsibility, however, for the death of Daisy. NINA SHAPIRO E not received adequate care. Sadism typically wasn’t involved. news@seattleweekly.com

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Seattle weekly • NO VE MBER 28− DECE MBER 4, 2012

Kevin P. Casey

s he slowed down on Highway 4 through a desert village called Takta Pol and stopped at the Afghan militia guard post in his battered Toyota Corolla, Salim Hamdan was about to discover what a truly long and winding road he was taking that day, November 24, 2001. It would lead to his sudden disappearance, withering secret interrogations, and the belief that he’d never again see his family, including a daughter about to be born.

Ultimately faced with dying behind a barbedwire prison fence without being charged with a crime, he’d find himself confronting the president of the United States in a landmark legal battle, waged in part by Seattle attorneys, which continues to this day. The epic detour would ultimately spawn global headlines and entice George Clooney to option the saga for the big screen.

But first Hamdan would have to survive the roadway checkpoint. It was manned by non-uniformed members of the Northern Alliance, a homegrown militia opposed to the Taliban and al-Qaida and backed by U.S. forces, who’d invaded Afghanistan on October 7. With a thick black mustache and a cherubic face, then-32-year-old Hamdan had driven taxis part-time in his homeland of Yemen and had become a chauffeur in Afghanistan. He was alone, without his usual passenger that day: Osama bin Laden had gone into hiding shortly after taking credit for launching the September 11 attacks on America.

As bin Laden’s driver since 1997, Hamdan had served as both chauffeur and bodyguard for the wealthy al-Qaida backer. He was paid $200 a month, a princely sum for an otherwise poor man with a grade-school education.

The money was 10 times what he could hope to earn in Yemen, where poverty is endemic.

He had ended up at bin Laden’s compound seeking work after being recruited in Yemen for jihad in Tajikistan. His Muslim contingent spent the better part of 1996 in Afghanistan, hoping to join comrades in waging holy war against Tajikistan’s pro-Russian government, but was turned back at the border.

Initially, Hamdan drove a truck that carried bin Laden’s farmworkers to the fields around Kandahar. He moved up to become the terrorist leader’s driver, and, after 9/11, ferried bin Laden and his son around the region for

10

Military attorney Charlie Swift.

(Left to right:) Joe McMillan, Harry Schneider, and Charles Sipos were part of a Perkins Coie team that changed industry perception concerning Gitmo cases.

Driving Bin Laden The government accused Osama’s chauffeur of being a terrorist.

It was up to a team of Seattle lawyers to prove otherwise.

By Rick Anderson

several days as part of a motorcade of al-Qaida leaders. They stayed in safe houses or camped in the desert where, Hamdan would later insist, he learned for the first time that bin Laden was behind the 9/11 attacks.

The world’s most-wanted man had since fled southeast Afghanistan when Hamdan arrived at the checkpoint. Had bin Laden been in the backseat that Saturday on the dirt roadway outside Takta Pol, not far from the crossing to Pakistan, world history would have changed considerably. The freewheeling militia was quick to take prisoners or kill those who resisted. In front of the Toyota, according to later recollections by Hamdan and U.S. military personnel who arrived late on the scene, the Afghan soldiers scuffled with the driver of another Toyota, dragging him from his car and then killing him, dumping his body beside the road. In the line behind Hamdan, two men in a van resisted, and were shot to death by the soldiers.

The militia took a third man from the van into custody. A frightened Hamdan bolted from his car and began to run. Around him was a vast, flat landscape; he could jog for miles and still be seen. The soldiers watched him flee, and began to laugh. They soon went to a ditch where Hamdan, scared and sobbing, was hiding, and brought him back.

U.S. soldiers, responding to the gunfire, rushed from their nearby outpost. Army Maj. Hank Smith—whose group had days earlier been dropped by helicopter into the Kandahar region, the Taliban’s stronghold—took custody of Hamdan, agreeing to a $5,000 bounty.

Smith would later say he was almost certain the Afghans would have killed Hamdan. His

Toyota had arrived from the direction of the Pakistani border, and when the Afghans opened the car’s trunk, they found two SA-7 ground-to-air missiles in their carrying tubes.

In the hands of al-Qaida or the Taliban, they could have been launched to bring down a U.S. helicopter. The major suspected he had custody of a genuine enemy combatant.

Smith did not know who normally rode in the driver’s backseat. But Hamdan, who speaks no English, would tell them it was bin Laden. In fact, despite harsh treatment and secret imprisonment, Hamdan would prove cooperative and truthful, U.S. officials would later admit. They believed what Hamdan said—except when he denied being a terrorist.

A

t his March 13, 2002 afternoon press conference in the White House’s James Brady Briefing Room, President George W. Bush pointed out that “Terror is bigger than one person,” bigger, at least, than Osama bin Laden. “He’s a person who’s now been marginalized . . . I truly am not that concerned about him.” Anyone who thinks the war in Afghanistan focuses on one person doesn’t understand the scope of the mission, the president explained.

It was, in retrospect, Bush’s first “Mission Accomplished” faux pas. The supposedly marginalized financier of 9/11 would continue to lead al-Qaida long after Bush left office, defying a decade-long manhunt, until killed

by Navy SEAL Team 6 at his Pakistan safe house on May 2, 2011.

While Bush claimed not to be interested in bin Laden, he was clearly determined to nail

his chauffeur. Salim Hamdan was one of the first prisoners to arrive at the hastily created Guantanamo Bay detention camp in Cuba in 2002, and his case would become the first American war-crimes trial to be heard since World War II. Though it would be delayed for six years, prosecutors had built up exaggerated charges against Hamdan, his defense team felt. Jurors would seem to agree. As one anonymously told The Wall Street Journal later, “Salim Hamdan was working for a bad organization and he knew that,” but he was no mad bomber. Jurors saw him as “like other young people who get mixed up in criminal organizations because they are ignorant or lack other opportunities.”

The government would draw a dark picture of Hamdan, noting his alias was “The Hawk,” and said bin Laden had held a wedding party for him. He had driven the terrorist chief to news conferences and speeches, and sometimes carried a machine gun—though apparently he never fired it. Still, there was little persuasive evidence that his duties amounted to much more than driving bin Laden and helping run the car pool. As The New York Times put it, “Mr. Hamdan’s offenses are not enumerated anywhere, but appear to include checking the oil and the tire pressure.”

The defense would discover from other detainees that Hamdan was indeed a lowlevel wheelman. Among those who agreed to give statements was no less than 9/11 architect Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, who suggested Hamdan was a mere uneducated grease monkey. The record would also show that Hamdan had cooperated with his captors and provided much-needed intelligence on al-Qaida (and

verycoolsmartfun eyewear

AFP/Getty ImAGes/ Newscom

on the hunt for his former backseat passenger), despite being shackled, hooded, and held in an undisclosed location for more than a month before being taken to a lockup in Kandahar. There, his interrogators would include everyone from the CIA and FBI to the Port of Seattle Police, who were helping to probe the case of “Millennium Bomber” Ahmed Ressam, arrested at the Blaine border crossing in 1999 en route to set off a bomb at LAX. A video would also show Hamdan, during a 50-minute interrogation, sitting on the floor of a hut, hands bound, freely answering an interrogator’s questions. In the footage, he admits to have worked for a charity thought to support al-Qaida, but denies he worked for terrorists. Asked whether he’s being honest, Hamdan replies, “Why should I lie? I am a detainee.

I am your prisoner now . . . It is all over.”

That Hamdan eventually would get his day in court was itself a victory. The Bush White House, with Vice President Dick Cheney as point man, had unilaterally decided to set up its own kind of justice system at Gitmo—its primary feature being a lack of justice. Prisoners could be held without charge, interrogated (and tortured) without legal representation, and never be given constitutional rights against self-incrimination. Should charges actually be filed someday, their fates would rest with a military commission that would essentially make up the rules as it went along.

President Bush’s success at implementing what his critics called a kangaroo court would come to ride solely on the Hamdan case, thanks to a defense team that included four lawyers from Seattle and a military attorney and Seattle University law grad named Charles Swift. “I’m not opposed to warcrimes trials,” says Swift, a Washington, D.C.born Naval Academy graduate who resembles actor Ryan O’Neal. “But the rules in this instance were inappropriate.” Now a criminal defense attorney in Seattle, Swift, 51, was a Navy Judge Advocate General (JAG) officer in D.C. when he was appointed in 2003 to defend Hamdan against terrorism charges.

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confinement to abuse prisoners.) That didn’t seem to matter much to the American public, at least in the immediate wake of 9/11. Gitmo, after all, was the home of some certifiably bad guys. What was not to like when, say, Mohammed al-Qahtani, the would-be 20th hijacker, was forced to wear a bra, or Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the proud admitted mastermind of 9/11, got his balls squeezed by a female interrogator?

It was in that vein that Swift was told to show up at Gitmo in his Navy uniform and tell bin Laden’s driver that if he took a plea bargain, he’d get out in 20 years. But he’d also have to testifiy against other detainees. His client told him—as he had insisted to interrogators—that he was never a member of al-Qaida nor fought on their behalf. Instead of persuading Hamdan to take the deal, Swift talked him out of it. “He wasn’t guilty of what they wanted to charge him with,” says Swift.

But if he was going to buck the system, Swift needed help. He turned “What the White House to Georgetown Law professor Neal wanted to do was use a Katyal. An expert on federal and military commission to get international law, Katyal served as Al out from under the law.” Gore’s co-counsel in Bush v. Gore in 2000, and would later be appointed Acting U.S. Solicitor General by Barack Obama. They had to get the issue “Military commissions were courts of before the federal court, and came up with necessity, held on the battlefield, for instance, the unlikely proposition of Osama bin Laden’s when there was no way to get to a courtdriver suing President Bush. room,” Swift says. “But that wasn’t the case “The administration, from the onset, sought with Hamdan or the others at Gitmo. There’s to defend Gitmo, sought to defend the coman available military court system and the mission, not on the idea their actions were federal courts, where we’ve been trying right and legal, but on the idea the [federal] accused terrorists for years. What the White courts couldn’t interfere,” says Swift. “That was House wanted to do was use a military comclearly a question for the courts to take on.” mission to get out from under the law. The Swift and Katyal decided to file the suit in president looked at it and said, ‘This is an the liberal-leaning 9th District circuit court, extraordinary situation, and allows me to based in San Francisco and with a jurisdiction make up the rules as I see fit.’ ” which encompasses Seattle. The D.C. circuit, Swift’s marching orders from the Pentagon they felt, would likely dismiss such a suit outwere to represent Hamdan by convincing right. Fortunately, Swift still had standing in him to plead guilty, Swift says. The detention Washington state. He served in the Navy in camps at Gitmo would eventually process Bremerton, then attended Seattle University almost 800 suspects over the next decade, School of Law in the 1990s. By claiming Washmost of them subsequently released without ington as his last place of civilian residency charges, but having suffered from their treatbefore rejoining the Navy to become a JAG offiment. (Assorted inspections over the years cer, he was eligible to file a lawsuit here in his have found evidence of Gitmo captors using name, on behalf of Hamdan, in federal court. humiliating acts, forced positions, extreme temperature changes, and squalid solitary » Continued on page 12

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Driving Bin Laden » from page 11

Seattle weekly • NO VE MBER 28− DECE MBER 4, 2012

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Courtesy of Harry sCHneider

Katyal connected with an acquaintance who worked at Perkins Coie, the 100-year-old Seattle law firm, and put in a call for help. “They’d be great,” a skeptical Swift said of Perkins, “but I really doubt we can get them.” Corporations were their specialty, from startups to Fortune 500 companies. But the timing was fortuitous.

Harry H. Schneider Jr., an easygoing 58-yearold veteran intellectual-property litigator at Perkins (which employs 850 lawyers in 19 offices across the United States and Asia), had just given a speech at an event honoring one of his partners for having devoted exceptional time to pro bono work. When he returned to the office the next day, in March 2004, Schneider felt motivated, realizing he hadn’t done free legal work in two decades.

He went to the pro bono coordinator. “Find me a case,” he said. “Any old case.”

(Left to right:) Swift, Schneider, and mcmillan were an unlikely trio of lawyers for an accused terrorist.

wo weeks later, Schneider was handed a note. Call these guys in D.C., it read. They have a pro bono case.

So Schneider called Swift. “Our client’s at Gitmo,” the latter explained. “Drove for bin Laden. We want to sue George Bush. Like tomorrow.”

Schneider was intrigued. “Here was this fellow, Swift, a military officer, who had received orders to defend a prisoner accused of being an enemy of the United States, and to do so while his fellow officers and enlisted personnel were in active combat in other parts of the world against the same enemy,” he explains. “My thinking was that was an awesome responsibility.”

Schneider walked out of his office in Perkins’ skyscraper headquarters on Third Avenue and down the hall to fellow attorney Joseph McMillan, whom Schneider knew had been following the goings-on at Gitmo.

“Joe’s reaction,” said Schneider, “was ‘Harry, you’ve got to take that case, and second, you’ve got to let me work on it.’ ” Schneider wasn’t yet convinced, however.

He stalled Swift and Katyal by telling them “I have to run a conflicts check,” a routine review to see if, for any reason, the case conflicts with those of his other clients. “Neal [Katyal] still finds this hilarious,” Schneider says. “But I needed to think about what we were being asked to do, and I needed to buy some time to think it through.”

McMillan and Schneider were, it seems, the last people Hamdan might have picked to have in his corner. Both represent well-heeled clients on issues such as breach of contract, patents, and securities disputes. Boeing, the nation’s #2 defense contractor, was among Schneider’s heavyweight clients. “Neither I nor Joe had done any criminal-defense work before,” he says. “We’re commercial-litigation lawyers. We represent companies.”

But so far, this was just a civil action.

Schneider and McMillan could help devise strategy and write briefs, and their firm’s deep pockets would be pivotal. “I jumped at it because it was a case all about due process, civilian rule, and equal justice under law,” says McMillan, a trim, lightly bearded 52-year-old litigator and onetime Peace Corps volunteer.

“It doesn’t matter what kind of law you do.

Those are the principles that I learned from the time I was a boy to the time I graduated from law school.”

Schneider remembers that when he told Bob Giles, Perkins’ managing partner, that he was planning to take on the case, Giles’ first response was “You’re kidding!” Giles confirms that. “At that time, the 9/11 attacks were very much on our minds,” Giles says today, “and representing anyone associated with bin Laden triggered a knee-jerk reaction that was not positive—at least until Harry gave me more details and we focused on the legal principles involved.”

The firm waded in, with fellow Perkins litigators Charles Sipos and David East also playing important roles. No one anticipated it, but the firm would end up donating the equivalent of “several million dollars” in legal fees over the next eight years, Giles says, and “several hundred thousand” in out-of-pocket costs.

ceed, displaying a hint of favorable sentiment toward Hamdan’s case, the defense team felt.

Lasnik thought it was appropriate that such a potentially landmark case was being heard in the new federal courthouse on Stewart Street, since similarly important wartime cases involving the detention of Japanese-American citizens during WWII had also been heard in Seattle, at the old courthouse on Fifth Avenue.

But Lasnik never got a chance to hear the Hamdan case. The U. S. Supreme Court, after reviewing a separate case, announced that federal courts indeed had jurisdiction to rule on Guantanamo. The high court also decided that all such cases would be heard in D.C. federal court, where Hamdan’s case was transferred in late 2004. That’s when D.C. District Judge James Robertson, a onetime Navy officer, surprised the defense and the White by siding with Hamdan and “Representing anyone House invalidating Bush’s Gitmo plan. Detainassociated with bin Laden ees should, he agreed, be tried accordtriggered a knee-jerk ing to military law and the Geneva reaction that was not Conventions. The proceedings against positive—at least until Hamdan came to a full stop in Gitmo.

Professor Katyal argued the case we focused on the legal before but it was a short-lived principles involved.” victory:Robertson, The U.S. expedited an appeal, and nine months later the D. C. circuit “Perkins was in with us because they didn’t court unanimously reversed Robertson’s decicare what the trial would say about them. It sion. Bush had the right to try designated terrorwas about principles,” says Swift, who still ists, the court decided, without providing constispecializes in military law as a partner at tutionally guaranteed due-process protections.

Swift & McDonald in Seattle. “They came in Among the three judges who reached that without having even met the client. Hell, they decision was John Roberts. Hours after the wouldn’t meet him for another three years.” order was released on July 15, 2005, Roberts drove to the White House and met with Bush, according to later news reports. The he petition that launched the case, and that would evolve into the fed- following Tuesday, Bush nominated Roberts to the Supreme Court. He was subsequently eral court title Hamdan v. Rumsapproved to fill the seat vacated by the late feld, was filed in Seattle in April Chief Justice William Rehnquist.

2004. It challenged the White House’s asserHamdan co-counsel Schneider says the tion of unprecedented legal sway over enemy timing of those events “gave me pause.” Still, combatants. His client, Swift told the court, he thinks Roberts would likely have ruled the was being held in solitary confinement until same. Even if he hadn’t, they still would have he agreed to plead to an unspecified offense. lost, 2-1. Besides, Roberts’ appointment could Swift termed it a “legal black hole” in which “a be seen as a boost to Hamdan’s case. Like factually innocent person can be found guilty.”

Roberts, Hamdan v. Rumsfeld was also headed His client just wanted a fair trial, he argued. to the Supreme Court: The legal team immeWithin a month, representatives from the diately petitioned the high court for a review, U.S. Solicitor General’s office showed up in and the case was accepted. When oral arguSeattle for a status hearing. “A status hearing?” ments began on March 28, 2006, Chief Justice says Schneider. “The Solicitor General usually Roberts left the bench before arguments began. doesn’t appear in a case until it’s well underBecause he had heard the case at the lower way. I guess we got their attention.” level, the justice most likely to vote against U.S. Federal Judge Robert Lasnik issued Hamdan was forced to recuse himself. an order outlining how the trial would pro-

T

With eight justices sitting (a 4-4 vote would leave the lower court ruling intact), Katyal got up to argue once more on behalf of bin Laden’s driver, while Swift, McMillan, and Sipos listened anxiously in the front row (Schneider was in Seattle due to a family illness).

The government had created a “military commission that is literally unburdened by the laws, Constitution, and treaties of the United States,” Katyal said. “If this were like a [civilian] criminal proceeding, we wouldn’t be here.” Katyal was repeatedly asked by the justices for his take on the congressionally approved Detainee Treatment Act that made Gitmo-style law possible, and on its conflict with the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ). As Justice Antonin Scalia queried: “You acknowledge the existence of things called commissions. Or don’t you?”

Katyal: We do.

Scalia: What is the use of them if they have

to follow all of the procedures required by the UCMJ? I mean, I thought that the whole object was to have a different procedure.

Katyal: Justice Scalia, that’s what the government would like you to believe. I don’t think that’s true. The historical relationship has been that military commissions in courtsmartial follow the same procedures.

The U.S., represented by Solicitor General Paul Clement, argued that the executive branch has long exercised authority to try enemy combatants by military commissions. “That authority was part and parcel of George Washington’s authority as commander in chief of the Revolutionary Forces,” Clement said.

Scalia noted that the high court doesn’t normally intervene in habeas corpus, in which a prisoner seeks to have his day in court, until after the case is concluded. “I mean . . . this is not a, you know, a necktie party,” Scalia said.

That’s what the Hamdan team felt Gitmo was, however. Justice Stephen Breyer seemed to express similar reservations, wondering aloud if the legislation that approved the Bush-created military commission effectively suspended the guarantee of a right to trial.

How could it be “constitutional for Congress, without suspending the writ of habeas corpus,” to approve the Gitmo proceedings? he posited. Justice David Souter then chimed in, observing that “we will have to face the serious constitutional question of whether Congress can, in fact, limit [federal] jurisdiction without suspending habeas corpus.” As Clement fumbled for a response, Justice John Paul Stevens joined the chorus.

Stevens: May I just ask this, just to clarify?

When they do take away some jurisdiction of some habeas corpus claims, do you defend that, in part, as a permissible exercise of the power to suspend the writ, or do you say it is not a suspension of the writ?

Clement: I think both, ultimately. I mean, I don’t think— Stevens: It can’t be both. [Laughter, much of it from the front row.]

A decision came quickly. On June 29, 2006, it was announced that Hamdan had won, 5-3.

“Brushing aside administration pleas not to second-guess the commander in chief during wartime,” The Washington Post reported, “a five-justice majority ruled that the

[

B

y then, Hamdan’s defense team had changed. After the Supreme Court win, Swift left the Navy (he was passed over for promotion and, because of the service’s “up or out” rule, was forced to retire), becoming an instructor at Emory University in Atlanta. Navy JAG officer Brian Mizer was appointed to replace him as Hamdan’s Gitmo counsel. Neal Katyal took on a subsidiary role, working on appeal issues.

Harry Schneider had thought the Supreme Court ruling was likely the end of his involvement with Hamdan. “I never signed up to do the criminal case. I signed up in 2004 to do that civil case,” says Schneider. But after four years of battling and finding his client still locked away, the case had become a challenge he, McMillan, and the firm had to see to the end.

“In for a nickel, in for a dime,” Schneider says.

And in for a rough ride. In 2007, Charles Stimson, a Pentagon official overseeing detainee affairs, urged corporations to fire any law firms that worked for them if the firms had clients at Gitmo. A Gitmo prosecutor also took a shot directly at Perkins for representing Hamdan, calling it shameful considering that Perkins also represented Boeing, which lost three employees in the Pentagon 9/11 crash.

But Bob Giles, Perkins’ managing partner, says he received more e-mails about the Hamdan case “than I have received on any other topic during my entire 27 years as managing partner. Sure, there were a few negative e-mails about supporting terrorists, but the great majority of the messages, hundreds of e-mails—including a surprising number from members of the U.S. military—were entirely supportive of our decision and our efforts to

uphold the rule of law even as it applies to those deemed our enemies. After all, we were trying to uphold principles that we hope would apply to our own service personnel if captured by the enemy, as well as to those we captured.”

Adds Swift: “Perkins Coie had been representing the titans of industry for a century. But they fought for a principle all the way for this little guy. After the Supreme Court, at different stages, I fell off the team, others fell off. You know who never fell off? Perkins. Once they took it, they were going to finish it, and that to me was extraordinary. It changed things in the industry. It became fashionable afterward to take a Gitmo case. I swear to God, there wasn’t a firm on Wall Street or down in D.C. that didn’t have a least one Gitmo client after that.”

For that matter, Swift fell back into the case.

» Continued on page 14

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commissions, which were outlined by Bush in a military order on Nov. 13, 2001, were neither authorized by federal law nor required by military necessity, and ran afoul of the Geneva Conventions.”

As a result, the Gitmo military commission could not try Hamdan or other prisoners unless the president either established rules requiring the commission to follow military courts-martial procedures or got Congress’ permission to proceed otherwise.

Hamdan’s team was elated. But not Hamdan. He was back in limbo, locked in solitary without an opportunity to prove himself innocent. The military allowed the attorneys to make a conference call to Hamdan in Gitmo. “At one point,” says Schneider, “I believe it was Neal Katyal who said, ‘Salim, you won. You should be very happy. Your name is going to be in our law books forever.

Hundreds of years from now law students will be reading your name.’ ” “Maybe I change my name,” replied Hamdan. “I just want to go home.”

In the fall of 2006, Bush acceded to the Supreme Court and got legislative approval from Congress to proceed at Gitmo with something of a hybrid system for the military tribunals. The rules generally followed military law, but hearsay evidence could be admitted and secret testimony would be allowed. Most important, the new law stripped U.S. courts of jurisdiction in detainee cases. That effectively put Hamdan “right back where we started,” says Swift.

The Pentagon also shuffled things around in its Office of Military Commissions, appointing a new trial-system supervisor. As the conmore vening authority, online the office approved to see video of u.S. intelligence agents or rejected charges, interrogating Hamdan and could make plea in afghanistan, visit deals and reduce our news blog, the daily Weekly, at sentences. In April 2007, it finally Seattleweekly.com. charged Hamdan with conspiracy to commit terrorism and with providing material support for terrorism.

He was one of several charged, but would be the first to go to trial.

Prosecutors accused Hamdan of conspiring not only with bin Laden, but with Ayman al-Zawahiri and other al-Qaida figures linked to the 1998 U.S. embassy bombings and the October 2000 attack on the USS Cole. Hamdan was in on those acts, in the government’s view, not because he necessarily participated in them, but because he was part of the terrorist cabal. He had provided material support by driving bin Laden. He would face trial in 2008.

To critics, it was a stretch. They were suspicious of the reorganized commissions office as well, after Col. Morris D. Davis was booted from his prosecutor’s job in the fall of 2007. He complained about having been pressured to speed up cases and get convictions because the election season approached. He said he was told “We can’t have acquittals. We’ve been holding these guys for years. How can we explain acquittals? We have to have convictions.” The government denied Davis’ accusations. But he would repeat them under oath in April 2008, and would be one of dozens of witnesses as Salim Ahmed Hamdan got his long-awaited day in court.

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On his own dime, he rejoined the team for the Guantanamo trial, bunking, like the others, in trailers on the isolated military base and spending his days in trial or conferences. They’d get away now and then to the beach, but the walled-off base was short on luxuries as well as newspapers and TV. Schneider, who thought of it as “like living in another world,” says Swift “spent 30 days at the Gitmo trial pro bono. That was a bigger financial hardship for him personally than it was for a big firm like ours.”

All of them immediately took to new military counsel Mizer, who was equally devoted to the cause. Schneider and McMillan pitched in to argue motions and take up questioning on specific issues. Swift handled jury selection and would do the closing argument. The jury consisted of officers picked from a pool formed by the Pentagon. The judge was Keith Allred, a Navy captain.

Hamdan, who denied the charges for which he’d been held officially at Gitmo for more than five years (but a captive since 2001), was being prosecuted under quasi-military law by the Pentagon, defended by a U.S. Navy officer, tried by a military jury, and judged by a Navy officer—all of whom were at war against the organization to which Hamdan allegedly belonged.

On August 6, 2008, after a day and a half of deliberation, the military panel found Hamdan not guilty of the most serious charge, conspiracy, convicting him only of providing material support.

“We were ecstatic,” Schneider recalls.

Hamdan, however, was devastated. All he heard was the world ‘guilty,’ and he broke down completely, weeping openly, unable to raise his head.”

when you return to your wife, your daughters, and your country.” Hamdan responded “Inshallah”—Arabic for “God willing.” Before the translation was made over courtroom loudspeakers, Allred replied, “Inshallah.”

The source of the missiles in Hamdan’s car remained a mystery. He claimed he took a car from the pool that day unaware that weapons were in the trunk. The defense also got an FBI agent to say that his investigation showed that bin Laden had personally paid Hamdan out of his own pocket—that in effect he was a servant, not a terrorist. As for the agent who said Hamdan admitted he’d pledged bay’at—allegiance— to bin Laden, he didn’t seem to notice that his Arabic notes, enlarged on a courtroom screen, were being displayed upside down, until the defense pointed it out to him.

Afterward, Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert called the chauffeur’s trial “the most historic session of traffic court ever.” For its next act, Colbert said, the government hoped to “track down Ayman al-Zawahiri’s dermatologist.”

A

month after the initial verdict, the government asked for a new sentencing hearing, hoping to add six years to Hamdan’s term. Allred rejected the move. In November, the U.S. acquiesced, allowing Hamdan to serve his final few months in a Yemeni prison. He was released in early 2009, and reunited with his family in Sanaa, Yemen.

On October 16 of this year, Hamdan was cleared altogether. The D.C. circuit court vacated the material-support conviction based on an appeal argued by Joe McMillan, contending that the acts Hamdan was charged with were not crimes at the time he committed them (constituting improper ex post facto prosecution). The case active today, however, while “It changed things in remains the government considers taking it the industry. It became to the Supreme Court. fashionable afterward During his 2008 presidential camto take a Gitmo case.” paign, Barack Obama promised to close Guantanamo and end the miliHamdan was inconsolable and couldn’t tary trials. He failed, and the issue was rarely speak, not even to Chuck Schmitz, the team’s raised this year as he campaigned for reinterpreter. Schneider and Schmitz went later election. Gitmo’s closure is now on the back to visit Hamdan in a courthouse holding cell. burner, with about 165 detainees remaining.

“He was lying on the floor, in a fetal position, still Hamdan’s saga has piqued cinematic interest, unable to recover from what he considered a already inspiring an acclaimed documentary, fatal blow to his chance of ever leaving GuantaThe Oath, in 2010. George Clooney has bought namo,” recalls Schneider. He thought he’d never the rights to The Challenge, a book about the see his family again, including a daughter he had Supreme Court case by journalist Jonathan yet to meet. (His wife had been eight months Mahler, written prior to Hamdan’s 2008 Gitmo pregnant when he dropped her off at the trial. A movie script is being drawn up by Oscar Pakistani border the day he was later taken into winner Aaron Sorkin, with Clooney and Matt custody in Afghanistan.) Schmitz and Schneider Damon set to star. It’s unclear whether bin tried to explain he was in a better legal position, Laden’s driver will share in the profits. but Hamdan figured he would die in custody.

Hamdan, now 42, has stayed in touch with “We all felt he would be convicted of the some of his attorneys, sending occasional e-mail lesser charge,” says Schneider. “The whole updates, including notification in 2010 that his ballgame came down to sentencing. The wife gave birth to a son. In the spring of 2009, government sought life. Charlie made a great while in the Middle East for meetings, Schneiargument for credit for time served.” der, McMillan, Mizer, and translator Schmitz The next day, the jury announced it was met in Dubai and flew together to Sanaa for a recommending a 51⁄2 year term, but with reunion with their client. Hamdan’s daughters came running to meet them at the airport, fol60 months and eight days credited for time lowed by a beaming Hamdan. “It was quite a served. In just over five months, Hamdan sight,” Schneider recalls, “very emotional.” would be set free.

The foursome stayed a week, exploring In Arabic, a grateful Hamdan stood, asked Yemen, with Hamdan showing them the for permission to speak, apologized for any sights. “I will tell you one thing about Salim wrongdoing, then thanked the jury. Judge Hamdan that I learned on that trip,” says Allred—who deemed Hamdan a “small player” Schneider. “He is a very good driver.” E in bin Laden’s network—told him, “I wish you Godspeed, Mr. Hamdan. I hope the day comes randerson@seattleweekly.com

the»weekly»wire fri/11/30 Stage

Straight Syrup, No Chaser

claSSical/experimental

In the Zone

Uncaged

Donald Byrd is celebrating his 10th anniversary as artistic director of Spectrum Dance Theater by doing more of what he’s done all

An iconic TV program for baby boomers, The Twilight Zone ran only from 1959–1964, but black-and-white reruns made Rod Serling’s show a staple well into the ’70s. Yet the Zone never really ended. Along came VHS and DVD, a feature-film anthology in 1983, and Dennis Nyback—the formerly Seattle-based

comeDy/politicS

Monday-Morning Quarterbacks

When you think of politics, Adam Carolla is not the first name to come to mind. The veteran comic, who’s lately expanded his domain into print and podcasting, generally wants to talk about women, cars, and the general suckiness of middle age. Yet in a kind of postelection, Lincoln/Douglas-debate format, he’s agreed to share the stage with right-leaning radio host Dennis Prager. The two will square off about Obama versus Romney, McCain’s Benghazi fixation, Nate Silver’s predictive perfection, and whatever else comes to mind.

(The show also concludes with an audience Q&A, if topics run dry.) How did the unlikely political bedfellows meet? They’re both fans of the radio format and have appeared on each other’s shows. And apart from party labels, both are traditionalists. On Prager’s show, said the avowedly secular Carolla, “I don’t understand when common sense and good old-fashioned logic became something we could debate. I agree with some of the stances that are associated with the Democrats. And I agree with some of the stances that are associated with the Republicans.

But I sort of cherry-pick.” The Paramount, 911 Pine St., 877-784-4849, stgpresents.org. $30.75–$40.75. 8 p.m. BRIAN MILLER

John Cage’s voice-stretching Song Books (1970) are much closer to a theatrical “happening” than a traditional song cycle—depending on how you interpret his sometimes straightforward, sometimes gnomic performance instructions for texts

by Thoreau, Duchamp, Merce Cunningham, and other apostles of the avant-garde. Bringing

*

Thurs: Comedy

A Long Road to Fame

Jerry Brooks, the comedian who goes by J. B. Smoove, has a long list of supporting screen credits, from SNL to The Dictator, but it was Curb Your Enthusiasm that finally brought him broader fame.

There he plays Leon Black, the fast-talking, foul-mouthed freeloader who came to live in Larry David’s L.A. home after Hurricane Katrina. After David, he’s Curb’s most quotable character, spouting such pearls of wisdom as “You got long-ass balls, Larry.

‘Long Ball Larry’—that’s your new name.”

The most recent season of Curb ended with Larry and Leon crossing the country to stir up trouble in New York City. What happens next? We’ll have to wait for season nine to begin. In the meantime, Smoove has been busy with the Comedy Central series Russell Simmons Presents: The Ruckus. On its website (theruckus. com) you can sample extra videos, like Smoove’s review of Cloud Atlas, which devolves into him reading a love letter to Halle Berry: “Oh my sweet sugar Berry/I’m the man you should marry/Rubbin’ your feet and kiss your ass/Got that perfect touch of class/Leave my wife and change my name/Share your money and your fame/So just pick me, you know you oughta/But first drop that restraining order.” (Through Sat.) Parlor Live Comedy Club, 700 Bellevue Way (Lincoln Square), 425-289-7000, parlorlive.com. $20–$30. 7:30 p.m. ERIN K. ThoMPSoN JaMes DiMMock/FoX

tV

Three for Ten

sat/12/1

Se attle weekly • NOVEMBER 28− DECEMBER 4, 2012

along—present dance that pushes the edges of the art form. For the Fall Studio Series, he’s got a pair of works by local choreographers Olivier Wevers (the premiere of Back, sack and crack) and Crispin Spaeth (a reprise of Only You), and he’s adding a premiere of his own (A Meeting Place). Wevers’ fluid and sensual style, in a piece examining gender identity and politics, will fit easily next to Byrd’s signature highintensity vocabulary. Spaeth’s quirkier physicality, in a dance made originally as a valentine for composer Dale Sather, should make a sweet intermezzo. (Through Dec. 9.) Spectrum/ Madrona Dance Center, 800 Lake Washington Blvd., 325-4161, spectrumdance.org. $5–$25. 8 p.m. SANDRA KURTZ

curator of cinematic curiosities who’s returning home to host The Twilight Zone Marathon.

He’ll introduce and screen three episodes in each daily block, projecting them from 16mm prints. (All television shows in the Serling era were shot on film.) Among the highlights are “The Masks,” written by Serling and directed

by Ida Lupino (the only woman to helm a Twilight Zone episode), in which the greedy heirs of an estate receive a gruesome comeuppance.

As producer, writer, or host, the socially conscious Serling (1924–1975) generally insisted on an unexpectedly moral twist ending to each episode. He was a liberal Jew who fought in the Pacific theater of World War II. Rising through radio and live television, he laced progressive themes into his writing—opposing war and promoting racial equality. In a prescient 1972 TV movie he wrote, The Man, James Earl Jones becomes the nation’s first black president! You could say the twist ending to that came 36 years later. (Through Thurs.) Grand Illusion, 1403 N.E. 50th St., 523-3935, grandillusioncinema.org. $5–$8 (passes $20–$40). 7 & 9 p.m. BRIAN MILLER

Dance

Gallery, UW campus, 543-2280, henryart.org. $5–$10. 7 p.m. GAvIN BoRchERT

Mark kitaoka

It was probably inevitable that Will Ferrell’s 2003 hit comedy Elf would eventually make it to the stage—and there, inevitably, be a musical. We’re only surprised it took so long before reaching Broadway in 2010. The film has become a quotable holiday perennial (“You sit on a throne of lies!”), and we expect that the writers of Elf—The Musical cribbed liberally from the original script. In Ferrell’s role of Buddy, the infant wrongly raised at the North Pole among Santa and his diminutive elf cohort, local actor Matt Owen will anchor a mostly native cast, directed by Eric Ankrim.

(New York import Kendra Kassebaum plays Buddy’s right-sized love interest, aka the Zooey Deschanel role.) Hard to remember, but the movie was actually rated PG. The musical has been sweetened up to more of a G, allowing for the widest possible range of theatergoers. Small kids will dig the chorus line of dancing Santas.

Parents can pour themselves a stiff eggnog before the show. Next year we look forward to the 5th’s production of Bad Santa—the Musical.

(Through Dec. 21.) 5th Avenue Theatre, 1308 Fifth Ave., 625-1900, 5thavenue.org. $43 and up.

8 p.m. BRIAN MILLER

them to the Henry in Voicing Cage is soprano Stacey Mastrian and co-performer/sound engineer Stephen F. Lilly, both members of Washington, D.C.’s Bay Players Experimental Music Collective.

Mastrian, whose fearlessly eclectic repertory includes Rigoletto and The Pirates of Penzance as well as Luigi Nono’s anti-fascist opera/ manifesto Intolleranza 1960, relishes the scope Cage’s music offers.

“Although there are definite parameters [in Cage’s scores], you never quite know how someone will interpret the specific things that are there,” she told me recently. “Most of my training has been [to] learn to do a piece a specific way, [to] get so you can produce it this way all the time. With Cage, I feel like there’s more opportunity for play . . . You just have to trust whatever is going to come out at the moment.” Plus there’s the pleasure of stepping off the Verdi/Puccini career treadmill: “[When] 50,000 people do the same opera aria, it’s nice to be able to offer something to people that can leave a lasting impression in a way that other pieces might not.” Henry Art

Owen and Kassebaum make sweet for Elf.

15

arts»Visual Arts

Holiday Concert with

» Review

A Belated Bouquet

Dec 14 8pm

Thirty years after Tacoma rejected Andy Warhol, its art museum shows him some love.

I

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16

magine that when the Kingdome went up in 1976, one of the world’s most famous living artists had offered a giant image to adorn the roof. Wouldn’t any city be delighted to receive a major art installation by Andy Warhol? Yet the reception was very different in 1982 when the Tacoma Dome opened. To decorate the new structure, thanks to Tacoma’s 1-percent-for-art program (then a fairly new notion), $280,000 was allocated from the T-Dome budget. But what kind of art would it buy? A panel was established, including local citizen advisors and three national experts (architect Michael Graves among them), and solicited proposals. Claes

numerous photos of the production work in Warhol’s famous Factory, several of whose denizens appear in separate portraits. (In a witty touch, TAM has wrapped some of its portable walls in tinfoil, just like the Factory.)

The exhibit is actually a survey, from Warhol’s commercial art in the ’50s to his final few flower sketches in the ’80s, when he took to copying images from Japanese ikebana floral-arrangement books. Warhol returned to flowers several times during his long career, helpfully detailed in a timeline by TAM curator Rock Hushka, and it was a giant orange daisy that he proposed to drape over the top of the T-Dome.

Oldenburg and Roy Lichtenstein turned down the paltry $4,500 honorarium. Five artists agreed to submit designs, with Andy Warhol the boldface name of the group.

The advisory panel would consider public opinion before making its recommendation, then subject to a city council vote. And that is where the museum show Andy Warhol’s Flowers for Tacoma gets interesting.

After the shock and success of his Brillo boxes and Campbell’s Soup cans, Warhol was casting about for a new idea in 1964. He wanted to reproduce something that was not already a commodity, something that would be—in an ironic way—pretty and traditional.

A friend pointed to a photography magazine that lay open to a shot of four hibiscus flowers. Perfect! Warhol cut it out, created a silk screen, and eventually sold hundreds of large reproductions in his Flowers series.

Many iterations of Flowers are on view at TAM, and so are the background materials. We see the original Modern Photography source image (never credited, of course), a silk screen and other studio aids, and

A current rendering of the Warhol Dome.

City of taComa

Seattle weekly • NO VE MBER 28− DECE MBER 4, 2012

5801 Sand Point Way NE * Seattle, WA 98105 * SpiritualLiving.org

By BriAn Miller

rock royalty Featuring handwritten lyrics, personal instruments, original photographs, outrageous outfits, and rare concert footage, Hear My Train a Comin’: Hendrix Hits London invites viewers to discover how Hendrix achieved prominence across the pond.

Celebrate Hendrix’s 70th birthday on Tuesday, November 27, with free access to EMP’s Sky Church to view rare concert footage, his original white Fender Stratocaster from his legendary Woodstock performance, and more. 70-year-olds receive free admission to all EMP exhibits all day long!

325 5th Avenue n At SeAttle Center • empmuSeum.org

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ackground materials also reveal the commercial and mechanical details behind Warhol’s proposal, and his art in general. Under glass are copies of correspondence from the Factory to Tacoma bureaucrats and panelists. It would’ve been helpful to see renderings of the other four proposals (one by James Rosenquist, no slouch), but the show does usefully provide news clippings that document local resistance to public-funded art. “Warhol: Idealism or Satire?” read one Tacoma News Tribune headline. A letter to the editor called the proposed expenditure “sheer idiocy,” and continued, “One cannot eat paintings.”

Questions persisted when the five proposals went on view at the University of Puget Sound for public comment. Why was a local artist not considered? Where were the Native American motifs, the salmon, the mountains and trees? Why spend tax

37th Anniversary of Special GueSt Star

BeBe WinanS Dec 21-23 only!

Andy WArhol FoundAtion

Warhol’s famous borrowed flowers.

Written by Langston Hughes Directed by Jacqueline Moscou

Choreography by Jamel Gaines Musical Direction - Pastor Patrinell Wright

© Chris Bennion

“The Granddaddy of all holiday shows.”

– The Seattle P-I

Now – Dec 30 Caught in The ACT Dec 3

TheFilmSchool presents staged screenplay readings. Up next: How to Get to Heaven From Jacksonville, Florida by Michael Breen and Alec Whittle.

Seattle Confidential Dec 3

Seattle anonymously shares its life stories. This quarter’s theme: Ghost Stories (or the Afterlife).

Oedipus El Rey Dec 6-16

eSe Teatro presents Luis Alfaro’s pulsing update of the classic Greek tragedy. The world’s largest prison system. The Gangs. The Gods. The Greeks descend on LA.

Wisemen Dec 13-22

Andy WArhol’s FloWers For TAcomA Tacoma Art Museum, 1701 Pacific Ave., 253-272-4258, tacomaartmuseum.org. $8–$10.

10 a.m.–5 p.m. Wed. & Fri.–Sun., 10 a.m.–8 p.m. Thurs. Ends Feb. 10.

DECEMBER 6-23, 2012 THE MOORE THEATRE STGPRESENTS.ORG

(877 ) 784-4849

© Mark Stone Photography

WI

NNER

Live on Stage – new stories and new music December 13 Mount Baker Theatre, Bellingham For tickets, 360-734-6080 December 14 Paramount Theatre, Seattle For tickets, 877-784-4849 The Tradition Continues

See more and save with an ACTPass!

acttheatre.org | (206) 292-7676 700 Union Street, Downtown Seattle

eSt. 1907 2nd Ave & virginiA St

Stuart McLean & the VinyL cafe chriStMaS tour

Back for a second year, Rosenstock Productions sets Christmas on fire with an ungodly script and original score ranging from klezmer to hip-hop to funk to salsa.

bmiller@seattleweekly.com

TickeTs on sale now!

In association with KUOW

Se attle weekly • NOVEMBER 28− DECEMBER 4, 2012

dollars on something so frivolous? Some called the Tacoma Arts Commission to complain about Warhol. Who was this fey New York elitist, this Studio 54 celebrity, to dictate the tastes of a proud lumber town?

In our own pages, Fred Brack wrote of the controversy, “All of this should make us Seattleites envious. If Tacoma won’t accept Warhol, we should.”

Tacoma’s 1-percent-for-art program was, at the time, only 7 years old and uncontroversial. But, as TAM placards explain, the pricey pitches so angered the public that the city council repealed the measure in 1985. When tempers cooled, with Warhol (1928–1987) dead and forgotten, the council reinstated it in 2000. But what a lost opportunity. As designed, Warhol’s big daisy would’ve served a double purpose, as artwork and an advertisement for himself. It was he who would be lending his fame to the dome; he’d be doing Tacoma a favor, and he knew it. The arena sits on an ugly stretch of I-5 already cluttered with signage, so why not another billboard?

It’s a place of sports, trade shows, monster trucks, and music produced on an industrial scale, where Lady Gaga will perform in January. It’s a shrine not to art but commerce.

An inorganic, supersized daisy would’ve been a fitting garland for the venue, surely to become known as the Warhol Dome.

And here’s a final irony: The panel and city council rejected Warhol in favor of Stephen Antonakos, a New Yorker whose neon waves—originally to be affixed to the roof—were then installed inside the dome, out of public view (unless you’re a Justin Bieber fan). Today, as TAM commemorates the 30th anniversary of Warhol’s proposal, there’s talk of finally installing his flower over the provisional blue triangles that still decorate the dome’s roof. The cost would be greater, but remember that the T-Dome’s original budget ballooned from $28 to $44 million. Adjust for inflation, and you’d now have $1 million—not $280,000— to spend on Warhol’s art. Or Tacoma taxpayers could just visit their museum instead. E

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arts»Performance Stage openings & events

BaBes in Toyland Not Victor Herbert’s musical, but

Angela Rinaldi-Gribas’, presented by Variety Plus.

Meydenbauer Center, 11100 N.E. Sixth St., Bellevue, varietyplus.org. $12. 4 & 7 p.m. Sat., Dec. 1 & 8. adam Carolla & dennis Prager SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 15.

The drunken CiTy Adam Bock’s play follows three brides-to-be on a pub crawl. Raisbeck Performance Hall, 2015 Boren Ave., cornish.edu. $5–$10. Opens Nov. 29.

8 p.m. Thurs.–Fri. & Sat., Dec. 1; also 2 p.m. Dec. 2 & 8.

Ends Dec. 8.

The edge Bainbridge Island’s own improv troupe.

Bainbridge Performing Arts, 200 Madison Ave. N., Bainbridge Island, 842-8569, bainbridgeperformingarts.org. $12–$16. 7:30 p.m. Sat., Dec. 1. elf: The musiCal SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 15.

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annual sketch/music campfest from Dos Fallopia (Lisa Koch & Peggy Platt). The Sequim Gay Men’s Chorus and the Spudds will return.

Theater Off Jackson, 409 Seventh Ave. S., 800-8383006, heylisa.com. $15–$35.

Opens Nov. 30. 7:30 p.m.

Wed.–Sun., 3 p.m. Sat.–Sun. Ends Dec. 30.

herCules and The evil Queen Seattle Playwrights

Collective presents a reading of Stephen Oles’ peplum sendup. Elliott Bay Book Co., 1521 10th Ave., seattle playwrightscollective.org. $5 donation. 6 p.m. Sun., Dec. 2. if only... STAGEright Theatre performers sing numbers they’ll never get to otherwise in their self-described “self-indulgent cabaret.” JewelBox/Rendezvous, 2322 Second Ave., 800-838-3006, seattlestageright.org. $15.

Opens Nov. 30. 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat. Ends Dec. 15. a(n imProvised) ChrisTmas Carol Dickens your way. Unexpected Productions Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 587-2414, unexpectedproductions.org. $5–$15.

Opens Nov. 29. 8:30 p.m. Thurs.–Sun. Ends Dec. 30. insPeCTing Carol Daniel Sullivan’s quirky comedy riffs on ACT’s rival Dickens production. Seattle Repertory Theatre, Seattle Center, 443-2222. Opens Nov. 28. Runs 7:30 p.m. Wed.–Sun. plus lots of matinees; see seattlerep.org for exact schedule. Ends Dec. 23.

J.B. smoove SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 15. loss maChine Kyle Loven uses puppets and other stage machinery to explore grief, absence, and where he misplaced his keys. (Some nights already sold out at press time.) On the Boards, 100 W. Roy St., 217-9886, onthe boards.org. $12–$20. 8 p.m. Wed., Dec. 5–Mon., Dec. 10. oediPus el rey eSe Teatro transfers Sophocles to the California prison system. ACT Theatre, 700 Union St., 292-7676, acttheatre.org. $15–$20. Previews Dec. 5–6, opens Dec. 7. 7:30 p.m. Thurs.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. Ends Dec. 16. owen meany’s ChrisTmas PageanT Book-It’s holiday favorite. Center House Theatre, Seattle Center, 216-0833. $23–$45. Previews Dec. 4 & 6, opens Dec. 7.

See book-it.org for exact schedule. Ends Dec. 23. really rosie Maurice Sendak’s characters come to life, with music by Carole King. Youth Theatre Northwest, 8805 S.E. 40th St., Mercer Island, 232-4145 x109, youththeatre.org. $10. Opens Nov. 30. 7 p.m. Thurs.–Fri., 2 p.m.

Sat.–Sun. Ends Dec. 16. roseBud: The lives of orson welles The Paradise Theatre School presents Mark Jenkins’ play about the acclaimed auteur. West of Lenin, 203 N. 36th St., theparadisetheatreschool.org, westoflenin.com. $20.

Opens Nov. 29. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Sat. Ends Dec. 15. seaTTle ConfidenTial Ian Bell and the Central Heating Lab turn your personal stories (submitted anonymously) into theater. ACT Theatre, 700 Union St., 292-7676, acttheatre.org. $10–$15. 7:30 p.m. Mon., Dec. 3.

True wesT Seattle Actors Collective debuts with Sam Shepard’s tale of two battling brothers. Odd Duck Studio, 1214 10th Ave., 800-838-3006, brownpapertickets.com. $12.25. 8 p.m. Fri., Nov. 30–Sat., Dec. 1.

The woman in The wall Pacific Play Company premieres Daniel Tarker’s play about a 50-year-old Seattle mystery. Annex Theatre, 1100 E. Pike St., pacificplay company.com. $5–$15. Opens Nov. 30. 7:30 p.m. Thurs.– Sat. plus Mon., Dec. 10. Ends Dec. 15.

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current runs

• avenue Q Gratuitous nudity, graphic sex, toilet humor,

and pervasive cynicism: Balagan’s homegrown take on the hit puppet musical is perfectly timed for the holidays.

The Tony Award–winning 2003 show is a foul-mouthed lampoon of Sesame Street and The Electric Company, stripped of all nutritional/educational content and targeted at a generation that grew up in front of the TV. In his new neighborhood, recent grad Princeton (Heathcliff Saunders) discovers that people interact with magical felt creatures (controlled by cast members). In this purgatory, Gary Coleman (Rashawn Scott) has been reduced to being the building’s super after his parents absconded with all that Hollywood cash. We also meet a host of bohemians, and hear songs like “What Do You Do With a B.A. in English?” and “Everyone’s a Little Bit Racist.”

Director Eric Ankrim has polished the performances to a sparkling sheen, so that even when the show isn’t funny, it’s surprisingly tender and tuneful (thanks to composers Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx; Jeff Whitty wrote the book).

KEVIN PHINNEY Erickson Theatre Off Broadway, 1524 Harvard Ave., 329-1050, balagantheatre.org. $20–$25.

8 p.m. Thurs.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. Ends. Dec. 15. a ChrisTmas Carol As ACT prepares to stage A Christmas Carol for the 37th time, the warm holiday sentiment follows nicely on the recent election results.

Think how different we’d be feeling if Romney and Ryan had prevailed. In a swift rewrite of the Charles Dickens story, Scrooge would be a private-equity tycoon whose capital-gains taxes are cut to zero. This “job creator” would merrily outsource Bob Cratchit’s position to India, paying rupees on the dollar. He’d mine coal and drill oil wells in our backyards, then pour the toxic byproducts into our streams (now that the EPA has been abolished).

With Obamacare repealed on Day One, crippled little Tiny Tim would never get that operation he needs. Those who couldn’t pay their mortgages would be shipped off to debtors’ prison where they belong. Voting rights? Show me your official ID card, available for a mere $10,000 at the convenient state registrar’s office in Prosser. (No, there’s no bus, nor any public transportation; parking provided for Bugattis only.) But wait . . . it’s all only a dream. Obama won, and Scrooge—played in alternating performances by R. Hamilton Wright and Jeff Steitzer— turns out to be a closet liberal! “God bless us, every one!” indeed. BRIAN MILLER ACT Theatre, 700 Union St., 292-7676. $27–$55. Runs near daily through Dec. 30; see acttheatre.org for exact schedule.

The dina marTina ChrisTmas show The incomparable entertaineress is back with an all-new show and Chris Jeffries on the keyboard. Re-bar, 1114 Howell St., 800-838-3006. $20–$25. Runs Thurs.–Sun. to start, oftener as the holidays approach; see brownpapertickets.com for exact schedule. Ends Dec. 31. fallen angels A 1925 Noel Coward comedy about two married women who discover they’re having separate affairs with the same man. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave., 324-5801, schmeater.org. $15–$23. 8 p.m.

Thurs.–Sat. Ends Dec. 15. fiddler on The roof Based on Sholem Aleichem’s stories of imperiled shtetl life in Czarist Russia, this musical mines themes that resonate not only with Jews but with any culture struggling to preserve its traditions against modernization. As Tevye’s daughters get with the times, slipping away from his control like sand running through his fingers, so also is his familiar patch of earth yanked from beneath him. He and the remains of his community trudge away on a rotating floor, a mandala of sorts, perhaps toward better things in America—or more rude awakenings. MARGARET FRIEDMAN Village Theatre, 303 Front St. N., Issaquah, 425-392-1942. $22–$63. Runs Wed.– Sun. plus some Tues.; see village theatre.org for exact schedule. Ends Dec. 30, then moves to Everett Performing Arts Center Jan. 4–27.

The glass menagerie Tennessee Williams’ sad reminiscence of unrequited love, told in a hazy reverie by Tom Wingfield (Ben Huber). Beset by his faded Southern socialite mother Amanda (Suzanne Bouchard) and tethered to a dead-end job, he’d have left home years ago were it not for his handicapped sister, Laura (Brenda Joyner). She spends her days pining after a high-schooler several social strata beyond her grasp, only to discover that the co-worker her brother is bringing for dinner is the dreamboat in question, Jim (Eric Riedmann). Laura’s broken heart and busted glasswork are refracted through brilliant set and lighting (by Mikiko Suzuki MacAdams and L.B. Morse, respectively; Braden Abraham directs). KEVIN PHINNEY Seattle Repertory Theatre, Seattle Center, 4432222. $12–$70. 7:30 p.m. Wed.–Sun. plus select matinees; see seattlerep.org for exact schedule. Ends Dec. 2.

The haBiT These five male performers ooze cleverness and timing in some 30 short vignettes (some linked, some freestanding). The sketch premises are only casually funny; but like sprinting downhill, the keenest fun is the

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danCe TheaTer SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 15.

•12sPeCTrum minuTes max Dance, theater, comedy, and more in

On the Boards’ omnibus—this time in a different venue, and curated by Nilki Benitez, Jen Graves, and Storme Webber. Washington Hall, 153 14th Ave., ontheboards.org. $8. 7 p.m. Sun., Dec. 2–Mon., Dec. 3. mariinsky BalleT TheaTre: nuTCraCker On the big screen, in 3-D! See fathomevents.com for participating theaters. $12.50. 7:30 p.m. Mon., Dec. 3.

Classical, Etc.

The movies Opera • meTroPoliTan oPera aT Nov. 28 at 6:30 p.m., Thomas

CHRIS BENNION

b y G av i n b o r c h e r t

Jeff Steitzer as Scrooge, in ACT’s A Christmas Carol. sheer tumble of it—how rapidly the comedic constellations form, collapse, and reform. Jeff Schell and a cabal of fellow UW grads founded the local troupe in the mid-’90s. After forays in L.A. and New York, and auditions for HBO and Comedy Central, the group disbanded until last year’s Seattle reunion show—which now looks to be an annual holiday tradition. Luke Thayer, John Osebold, Mark Siano, and David Swidler complete the quintet.

It’s the closest thing in Seattle to Second City, and we’re already looking forward to The Habit’s 2013 return engagement. MARGARET FRIEDMAN Seattle Public Theater at the Bathhouse, 7312 W. Green Lake Ave. N., 800-838-3006, thehabitcomedy.com. $17. 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat., plus Thurs., Nov. 29. Ends Dec. 2. how They aTTaCk us Kevin McKeon’s dark comedy about paranoia and conspiracy theories. New City Theater, 1404 18th Ave., 800-838-3006, newcitytheater. org. $16. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Sat. Ends Dec. 15. sCrooge: The musiCal Dickens, with Leslie Bricusse’s score. Seattle Musical Theatre, 7400 Sand Point Way N.E. # 101N, 363-2809, seattlemusicaltheatre. org. $35–$40. 7:30 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sun., plus 7:30 p.m. Thurs., Dec. 6. Ends Dec. 9. sherloCk holmes and The Case of The ChrisTmas Carol SW alum John Longenbaugh’s

popular mashup of Dickens and Conan Doyle. Taproot Theatre, 204 N. 85th St., 781-9707, taproottheatre.org. $22–$37. 7:30 p.m. Wed.–Thurs., 8 p.m. Fri., 2 & 8 p.m. Sat. Ends Dec. 29.

TeaTro ZinZanni: reTurn To Paradise Their usual fare—a leisurely five-course dinner interspersed with songs, sophisticated circus acts, and audienceparticipation comedy—is given a World’s Fair theme, set right here in 1962 Seattle. Teatro ZinZanni, 222 Mercer St., 802-0015. $106 and up. Runs Thurs.–Sun. through Jan. 27; see dreams.zinzanni.org for exact schedule. a Tuna ChrisTmas Two actors play 22 characters in this comedy set in Tuna, Texas. Burien Little Theater, S.W. 146th St. and Fourth Ave. S.W., Des Moines, 2425180, burienlittletheatre.org. $7–$20. 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. Ends Dec. 16.

Two Can Play Lorin Howard’s two-person mystery about a recluse and her caregiver. The Ballard Underground, 2220 N.W. Market St., 800-838-3006, brownpapertickets.com. $15. 7:30 p.m. Wed., Nov. 28, Thurs., Nov. 29, Sat., Dec. 1. unCle mike ruins ChrisTmas In Wing-It Productions’ dysfunctional-family improv, share your holiday memories and watch Uncle Mike ruin them. Wing-It Productions, 5510 University Way N.E., 781-3879, wingit presents.com. $12–$15. Midnight:30 Sat. Ends Dec. 22.

The winTer wondereTTes Celebrate Christmas 1968 with this girl group. ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave. S.W., 938-0339, artswest.org. $17–$36.50. 7:30 p.m. Wed.–Sat., 3 p.m. Sun., plus 3 p.m. Sat., Dec. 15, 22, 29. Ends Dec. 30.

The wiZard of oZ As that much-forwarded meme has it, a woman travels to a foreign land and kills the first person she sees, then teams up with three strangers to kill some more. Seattle Children’s Theatre, Seattle Center, 441-3322. $20–$36. Runs Thurs.–Sun., plus Wed. over the holidays; see sct.org for exact schedule. Ends Jan. 6.

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performances live in HD. On Adès’ shimmering setting of The Tempest, one of the most acclaimed new operas of recent years. On Dec. 1 at 10 a.m., Mozart’s La clemenza di Tito. See metopera.org for participating theaters. $24. uw JaZZ innovaTions i & ii Originals and classics from student ensembles. Brechemin Auditorium, School of Music, UW campus, 685-8384, music.washington.edu. $5. 7:30 p.m. Wed., Nov. 28–Thurs., Nov. 29. seaTTle symPhony Ludovic Morlot conducts Mahler’s Fourth and Berg’s Bach-quoting Violin Concerto.

(SW’s Gavin Borchert provides the preconcert lecture Thurs. & Sat; Sunday’s concert is a “Beyond the Score” presentation on Mahler.) Benaroya Hall, 200 University St., 215-4747, seattlesymphony.org. $19–$112. 7:30 p.m. Thurs., Nov. 29, 8 p.m. Sat., Dec. 1, 2 p.m. Sun., Dec. 2. voiCing Cage SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 15. mark roBBins and Tom varner Jazz for the French horn. Cornish College/PONCHO Concert Hall, 710 E. Roy St., 726-5066, cornish.edu. $10–$20. 8 p.m. Fri., Nov. 30. marie-louise langlais A lecture on “Organists of the Ste. Clotilde Tradition.” At Brechemin Auditorium, School of Music, UW campus, 7:30 p.m. Fri., Nov. 30, and First Presbyterian Church of Bellevue, 1717 Bellevue Way N.E., 9 a.m. Sat., Dec. 1. music.washington.edu. Free. uw oPera TheaTer Great to see the School of Music back in the opera biz after a couple seasons in which they weren’t able to mount a production. Johann Strauss’ fizzy Die Fledermaus is their choice. Meany Studio Theater, UW campus, 543-4880, music.washington.edu. $10–$15.

7:30 p.m. Fri., Nov. 30, 2 p.m. Sun., Dec. 2. seaTTle men’s Chorus On their annual holiday extrava-gaynza, music evoking warmer climes. The special guest (Nov. 30 and Dec. 1. only) will be SNL alumna Ana Gasteyer. Benaroya Hall, 200 University St., 388-1400, www.flyinghouse.org. $27–$77. 8 p.m. Fri., Nov. 30, 2 p.m.

Sat., Dec. 1, and six mor performances through Dec. 22. seaTTle Choral ComPany “A Cathedral Christmas” includes music from their new CD. At Bastyr University Chapel, 14500 Juanita Drive N.E., Kenmore, 2 p.m. Sat., Dec. 1, and Saint Mark’s Episcopal Cathedral, 1245 Tenth Ave. E., 8 p.m. Fri., Dec. 7–Sat., Dec. 8. $10–$27. 800-8383006, seattlechoralcompany.org.

The esoTeriCs This a cappella choir commemorates World AIDS Day with Robert Maggio’s Quilt Panels.

Edmonds Center for the Arts, 410 Fourth Ave. N., Edmonds, theesoterics.org. $15–$20. 7 p.m. Sat., Dec. 1.

PaCifiC musiCworks German baroque chamber and vocal music, including lots of Bach, for the holiday season. St. James Cathedral, 804 Ninth Ave., 382-4874, pacificmusicworks.org. $20–$40. 8 p.m. Sat., Dec. 1. lake union CiviC orChesTra Their holiday concert and sing-along. Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave., luco.org. $13–$18. 2 p.m. Sun., Dec. 2. norThwesT ChamBer Chorus Holiday music in “Sing Heigh Ho!” Phinney Ridge Lutheran Church, 7500 Greenwood Ave. N., 523-1196, northwestchamberchorus. org. $12–$22. 3 p.m. Sun., Dec. 2, 7:30 p.m. Sat., Dec. 8. norwegian ladies Chorus Scandinavian and American holiday music, with dessert to follow. Our Redeemer’s Lutheran Church, 2400 N.W. 85th St., nlcof seattle.org. $12 suggested donation. 3 p.m. Sun., Dec. 2. oCeana sTring QuarTeT Beethoven, Janacek, and three rags by William Bolcom. Brechemin Auditorium, School of Music, UW campus, 685-8384, music. washington.edu. $5. 4:30 p.m. Sun., Dec. 2. uw gosPel Choir Phyllis Byrdwell directs. Meany Hall, UW campus, 543-4880, music.washington.edu. $10–$15.

7:30 p.m. Mon., Dec. 3. kedmon maPana Traditional and contemporary music from the Wagogo culture of Tanzania. Brechemin Auditorium, School of Music, UW campus, 685-8384, music.washington.edu. $5. 7:30 p.m. Tues., Dec. 4. uw PerCussion ensemBle Bartok, Higdon, Rouse, and more. Meany Studio Theater, UW campus, 543-4880, music.washington.edu. $10–$15. 7:30 p.m. Tues., Dec. 4. uw CarolfesT Seasonal music from several ensembles.

Meany Hall, UW campus, 543-4880, music.washington. edu. $10–$15. 7:30 p.m. Wed., Dec. 5.

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BROIRECT FROM ADW AY

arts»Visual Arts b y M a’ C h e l l D u M a l aVa s s a r

Openings & Events Art Under $100 Dozens of local artists are featured

in this annual sale, which also includes food and wine. See southparkarts.org for more info. South Park Community Center, 8319 Eighth Ave. S., 767-5095. Sat., Dec. 1, 3–9 p.m.

BAd Art? Over 1,000 pieces of folk art are featured in this visiting exhibition from the Backlund & Håkansson Collection in Sweden. Most are nature scenes painted on sections of birch trees. Note opening lecture by Borghild Håkansson and Staffan Backlund: 7 p.m.

Wed., Nov. 28. Nordic Heritage Museum, 3014 N.W. 67th St., 789-5707, nordicmuseum.org. $4–$6. Opens Nov. 30. Sun., noon–4 p.m.; Tues.–Sat., 10 a.m.–4 p.m.

Through March 3.

HArry Bonnette He presents colorful works in several media in Potpourri. Also showing: The Women of Art/Not Terminal, featuring Reba Bigelow, Shirley Travis, Lena Lietzke, and Cecilia Mayr. Opening reception: 7 p.m. Sat., Dec. 1. Art/Not Terminal Gallery, 2045 Westlake Ave., 233-0680, antgallery.org. Opens Dec. 1.

Wed.–Sat., 11 a.m.–6 p.m.; Sun., noon–5 p.m. Through Jan. 3.

Steven Fogell In his show Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall, he references Alice in Wonderland, Hansel and Gretel, and other fairy tales. Opening reception: 5:30 p.m. Fri., Nov. 30. Bainbridge Performing Arts, 200 Madison Ave. N., Bainbridge Island, 206-842-8569, bainbridge performingarts.org. Opens Nov. 30. Tues.–Sat., 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Through Jan. 3.

SHAwn HUckinS & cHelSey tyler wood

Huckins’ work contrasts traditional portraiture with today’s Twitter culture. Wood paints female nudes in confined spaces. Also showing: In Costume, sculpture

by George Rodriguez that refers to matador costumes and old barrels. Foster/White Gallery, 220 Third Ave. S., 622-2833, fosterwhite.com. Opens Dec. 1 Tues.–Sat., 10 a.m.–6 p.m. Through Dec. 24.

SUSAn roBB She will create sculptures with local, national, and international artists, using Skype video calls, in this interactive performance piece. Come watch her work on Dec. 1 and 15. Cornish Alumni Gallery, 1000 Lenora St., 726-5011, cornish.edu.

Mon.–Fri., noon–5 p.m.; Sat., noon–4 p.m. Through Dec. 15.

JAred rUe In Broken Line, he explores the notion of family lineage and other topics. Artist reception: 5:30

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p.m. Thurs., Nov. 29. Woodside Braseth Gallery, 2101 Ninth Ave., 622-7243, woodsidebrasethgallery.com.

Tues.–Sat., 11 a.m.–6 p.m. Through Dec. 15.

FrAncine SederS She of the venerable Greenwood gallery will lead a discussion about the history of Northwest art. Work by artists including Jacob Lawrence and George Tsutakawa will be on display.

Henry Art Gallery, 4100 15th Ave. N.E., 543-2280, henryart.org. Free–$10. Thurs., Nov. 29, 7 p.m.

SewArd PArk clAy StUdio HolidAy SHow

The studio’s holiday sale features some 40 local and regional artists. Seward Park Clay Studio, 5900 Lake Washington Blvd. S., 722-6342, sewardparkart.org.

Free. Opens Dec. 2. Sat.–Sun., 10 a.m.–6 p.m.; Mon.– Fri., noon–7 p.m. Through Dec. 24.

Ongoing

TICKETS ON SALE NOW!

kerimA AHmed In Values and Dreams as Expressed

Through Lines, Colors and Textures, the Ethiopian artist shares the colors of her culture in abstract works. C Art Gallery, 855 Hiawatha Place S., 322-9374, cartgallery.net.

Wed., 10 a.m.–3 p.m.; Thurs.–Fri., 11 a.m.–7 p.m.

JUlie AlPert Her dramatic installation Tableau Vivant incorporates hand-painted wood cutouts, bits of fabric, and paint to create a theatrical backdrop. Also on view, some of her smaller watercolors. Gallery4Culture, 101 Prefontaine Place S. (Tashiro Kaplan Building), 2967580, 4culture.org. Mon.–Fri., 9 a.m.–5 p.m. Through Nov. 30.

ArreSt me Juried by the Frye’s Scott Lawrimore, this annual competition features more than a dozen local and national artists. Punch Gallery, 119 Prefontaine Place S. (Tashiro Kaplan Building), 621-1945, punch gallery.org. Thurs.–Sat., noon–5 p.m. Through Dec. 15.

SArAH AwAd In Transference and Speculation, she shows bright figurative scenes with thick bands of color and soft boundaries between them. There’s a suggestion of fauvism––particularly in her sunny palette––to her nude bathers, a man with a parachute, and a woman primping for a party. Most of her paintings are staged in the bright sunlight of her native California, where the colors overwhelm the architecture and precise forms of things. Her hues are heavy. Also on view: small sculptural objects by Jenny Heishman, called Band Practice. BRIAN MILLER. James Harris Gallery, 312 Second Ave. S., 903-6220, jamesharrisgallery.com. Thurs.–Sat., 11 a.m.–5 p.m.

Through Nov. 30.

BAm BienniAl 2012 The theme for this year’s BAM Biennial is “High Fiber Diet,” meaning all manner of

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THEFUSSYEYE The small sampling of photos in “The Seduction of Color” is essentially a teaser for the eponymous book (Marquand/Paper Hammer, $45–$150; conveniently on sale for the holidays), which contains a larger selection, 69 images. Yet the bound version of The Seduction of Color holds but a tiny fraction of the more than 11,000 snapshots (!) found by local collector Robert E. Jackson. Not at yard sales or flea markets, he explains: “It’s mostly eBay.” His curatorial tools, like the buttons on a DSLR, are the keywords he sets for his online searches. With the transition from film to digital, Jackson and other collectors see “a great interest in paper products . . . and a great nostalgia for the 21st century.

Most people are trying to take snapshots of the happy things.” Thus, for example, a Polaroid of a father and son on a suburban couch, both wearing paper bags over their heads: “They’re just having fun with the camera, and sometimes something great happens.” The baghead duo becomes a little sadder and more mysterious stripped of context; the effect is like accidental Arbus, Eggleston without the pedigree. An MBA now retired from the financial

COURTESY ROBERT E. JACKSON

Artist Unknown

industry, Jackson also has a master’s in art history.

Moving from the South to Seattle in 1991, he began collecting in ’97, as traditional film photography went into decline. At the same time, he notes, “people are older and dying” from the WWII generation, and dealers are harvesting more and more snapshots from those estate sales. This is Jackson’s second book and first stand-alone Seattle show, though the National Gallery of Art featured his collection five years ago (that monograph is also on view here).

“Color” represents only about three percent of his holdings, but that fraction will grow, says Jackson.

The Boomers will start dying next, leaving all their Kodachrome memories behind. Paper Hammer, 1400 Second Ave., 682-3820, paper-hammer.com.

Free. 11 a.m.–6 p.m. Mon.–Sat. Ends Dec. 29.

the anti-holiday h ol

id a y concert

DecemBer 1, 2012 • 8:00pm kIrkLand performance center kpcenter.org

425.893.9900

Se attle weekly • NOVEMBER 28− DECEMBER 4, 2012

» BY BRIAN MILLER

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arts»Visual Arts UBS: Jon Meacham: A Biography of Thomas Jefferson (11/28) w Simon Winchester: An Exploration of Skulls (11/29) w America SCORES Seattle: 10th Annual Poetry Slam (11/30) w David Blatner: Arranging Our Mind-Boggling Universe w SPL: Clay Jenkinson: A Debate Between Thomas Jefferson & Theodore Roosevelt (12/1) w Global Rhythms: Gerard Edery Trio (12/1) w LUCO Family Holiday Concert & SingAlong (12/2) w Pride Foundation: Marriage Equality Explained (12/3 w Philip Warburg: ‘Harvest the Wind’ (12/4) w Naomi Wolf: The Brain-Vagina Connection (12/4) w Bishop Gene Robinson: Straight Talk about Gay Marriage (12/7)

townhallseattle.org

Inventory Reduction Sale 30% - 50% off

yarn, fabrics, upholstery, embroidery, and sewing. More than 20 artists from the greater Pacific Northwest are represented in the exhibit. Museum visitors can vote for their favorite, and the winner receives a $5,000 prize next February (there’s a second curator’s-choice award, too, for the same amount). Some works have been seen at BAM before, like Tamara Wilson’s softly drooping orange bicycle. Others will be created onsite: Rock Hushka will in November begin working inside a recreation of his entire studio, and you can stop by and watch while he weaves to the music from his record collection. Note: BAM is open until 8 p.m. every First Friday. BRIAN MILLER Bellevue Arts Museum, 510 Bellevue Way N.E., Bellevue, 425-519-0770, bellevuearts.org. $7–$10. Tues.– Sun., 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Through Feb. 24.

Kelly BjorK & lenae Day Bjork shows airy drawings with Day’s photography and accompanying short stories. Corridor Gallery, 306 S. Washington St., 856-7037, tklofts.com. Fri.–Sat., noon–5 p.m. Through Nov. 30.

FranKlin Dwyer The new gallery debuts with an exhibit from the proprietor––brightly colored solarized urban photographs. Dwyer Gallery, 1518 Western Ave., 681-6123, dwyergallery.com. Daily. eaFa annual open exhiBition Liana Bennett jurors this diverse group show, featuring other members of the Eastside Association of Fine Arts. Seattle Design Center, 5701 Sixth Ave. S., 762-1200, seattledesigncenter.com. Mon.–Fri., 9 a.m.–5 p.m.

Through Jan. 4. artists From the Centre • elles: women This worthwhile big survey show, augpompiDou

Swissa Jewelers 1923 7th Avenue, Seattle WA 98101 www.swissa.com 206-625-9202

mented by SAM’s own collection and a few loans, covers a recent century of art, beginning in 1909. The circulation pattern and individual galleries are essentially historical as you wander through some 130 pieces by 75 women (not all of them French, of course). You start with the contemporaries of Picasso—figures like Sonia Delaunay and Suzanne Valadon, who first broke into Paris salons and galleries. From there, perhaps unavoidably, it’s like leafing through an art-history text. Here comes Surrealism, the Bauhaus movement, Dada, the Constructivists, a bit of realist photography from the WPA era, the Abstract Expressionism of the postwar years, then finally the women’s lib of the ’60s and beyond. It’s not until you get to early-modern painters like Frida Kahlo and Georgia O’Keeffe that the path begins to veer from prior male footprints. Things improve further with the arrival of the dreaded F-word, feminism, with examples from t h i S co d e Carolee Schneemann, Cindy to download the FRee Sherman, and company. The Seattle weekly real discovery is 83-year-old iPhone/andRoid aPP Yayoi Kusama, in her first FoR moRe eventS oR viSit appearance at SAM. There’s seattleweekly.com a fecund power to her swirling, spotted, obsessive patterns, her intense dots and clusters of color, her yellow seeds scattered across the orange firmament of I Want to Live Forever. Hers is germinal art—spores, spots, and sprouts—as if spilled from a Petri dish and left to grow in a laboratory clean room. BRIAN MILLER Seattle Art Museum, 1300 First Ave., 654-3100, seattleartmuseum.org. $11–$17. Thurs.–Fri., 10 a.m.–9 p.m.; Wed., Sat.–Sun., 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Through Jan. 13. equine, Bovine, Canine, Feline… Contemplating the animal kingdom are David Brody, John Fadeff, Moira Hahn, Randy Hayes, Carolyn Krieg, Sherry Markovitz, Glenn Rudolph, Robert Schlegel, Fred Stonehouse, and Peter Zokosky. Prographica, 3419 E. Denny Way, 322-3851, prographicadrawings.com.

Wed.–Sun., noon–5 p.m. Through Dec. 8. janet Fagan She shows new paintings in Forest, Sea, and Sky. Blindfold Gallery, 1718 E. Olive Way, 328-5100.

Wed.–Fri., 1–7 p.m.; Sat.–Sun., 1–5 p.m. Through Dec. 2. group show The gallery presents works from shows mounted in 2012 and a preview for next year. Featured artists include Jacqueline Barnett, Jill Bullitt, Marita Dingus, and Emily Gherard. Francine Seders Gallery, 6701 Greenwood Ave. N., 782-0355, sedersgallery.com. Tues.– Sat., 11 a.m.–5 p.m.; Sun., 1–5 p.m. Through Dec. 23.

Karen haCKenBerg In Watershed, she meticulously depicts “post–consumer” landscape via dislocated, discarded, mass–produced objects that often wash up on the beach. Also Showing: Lost and Found, featuring several Northwest artists. Bainbridge Arts and Crafts,

Seattle weekly • NO VE MBER 28− DECE MBER 4, 2012

Scan

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Send events to visualarts@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings = Recommended

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151 Winslow Way E., Bainbridge Island, 206-842-3132, bacart.org. Mon.–Sat., 10 a.m.–6 p.m.; Sun., 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Through Dec. 3. hanDBounD Eroyn Franklin, Kelly Froh, Max Clotfelter and a dozen others present original art, sketches, ephemera, and books. Soil Gallery, 112 Third Ave. S. (Tashiro Kaplan Building), 264-8061, soilart.org. Wed.– Sat., noon–5 p.m. Through Dec. 2. homage to elles Gala Bent, Julie Blackmon, Nealy Blau, Diem Chau, Laurie Danial, and others contribute to this rotating selection of works. Also on view are vintage photos from figures like Diane Arbus and Berenice Abbott. G. Gibson Gallery, 300 S. Washington St. (Tashiro Kaplan Building), 5874033, ggibsongallery.com. Wed.–Sat., 11 a.m.–5 p.m.

Through Dec. 22. miChael Kenna There’s a rigorous, if not to say slavish, formalism to the work of Michael Kenna, an English-born photographer now living in Seattle.

Every image in Memories and Meditations is printed in the same small, square size. All are black-andwhite, and most are self-conscious “travel” photos of places far from home. So we see Easter Island moai, the pyramids, Stonehenge, China’s famous Huangshan Mountains, Russia’s Hermitage, etc. “I want people to be quiet, to calm down,” said Kenna during a preview talk, and his work has a strongly contemplative, Zen vibe to it. BRIAN MILLER Tacoma Art Museum, 1701 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253-272-4258, tacomaartmuseum.org. $8–$10. Wed., Fri.–Sun., 10 a.m.–5 p.m.; Thurs., 10 a.m.–8 p.m. Through March 24. laDies ChoiCe Pegged to SAM’s ongoing Elles show, a dozen female artists represented by the gallery chose female artists to also share their work. Also on view: the colorful folk art of Gregory Blackstock. Greg Kucera Gallery, 212 Third Ave. S., 624-0770, gregkucera.com. Tues.–Sat., 10:30 a.m.–5:30 p.m. Through Dec. 22.

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liKe a valentine: the art oF jeFFry mitChell The local artist is treated to a 25-year

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survey show of drawings, sculpture, and other objects. Henry Art Gallery. $6–$10. Wed., Sat.–Sun., 11 a.m.–4 p.m.; Thurs.–Fri., 11 a.m.–9 p.m. Through Jan. 27. jeremy mangan In Congratulations, Canyon he depicts rustic structures and rural scenes from the Pacific Northwest. Linda Hodges Gallery, 316 First Ave. S., 624-3034, lindahodgesgallery.com. Tues.–Sat., 10:30 a.m.–5 p.m. Through Dec. 1.

• many arrows From rama’s Bow: The epic narpaintings oF the ramayana

ratives of the Ramayana chronicle the mortal and superhuman struggles of kings, warriors, wives, and gods, depicted here in 44 works spanning four centuries. The show is pegged to ACT’s stage production of the Ramayana. Seattle Asian Art Museum, 1400 E. Prospect St. (Volunteer Park), 654-3100, seattle artmuseum.org. $5–$., Wed., Fri.–Sun., 10 a.m.–5 p.m.

Through Dec. 2. eriC meaD & paula stoKes In Transformation, Mead works in glass to follow the patterns of Stokes’ paintings. Call for hours. Shift Collaborative Studio, 306 S. Washington St. (Tashiro Kaplan Building), 5471215, shiftstudio.org. Through Dec. 1. moment magnituDe Some two dozen local artists are featured in this omnibus, named for “the scale used by seismologists to measure the size of earthquakes in terms of energy released.” (It’s the successor to the Richter Scale.) Inside, one of the best and weirdest pieces hangs from the ceiling. It’s a fiberglass rendering of Saddam Hussein’s famous “spider hole,” cast from its outline like a bright yellow cocoon by Leo Saul Berk. Negative space has been reversed, so that the gallery corresponds to the ground and the ceiling to the surface. This Spider Hole seems oddly divorced from history, an object wrenched out of context. All you’re left with his the bizarre form—like some historical ghost, a forgotten term of war like the Maginot Line or Gulf of Tonkin. BRIAN MILLER Frye Art Museum, 704 Terry Ave., 622-9250, fryemuseum.org. Free. Tues.–Wed., Fri.–Sun., 11 a.m.–5 p.m.; Thurs., 11 a.m.–7 p.m. Through Jan. 20.

Cyn moore She paints animals and other subjects.

Twilight Artist Collective, 4306 S.W. Alaska St., 9332444, twilightart.net. Mon., Wed.–Fri., 11 a.m.–7 p.m.; Sat.–Sun., 10 a.m.–6 p.m. Through Dec. 7. outstanDing Two dozen artworks by 16 locals encourage dialogue and diversity in the LGBTQ community. Seattle Municipal Tower Gallery, 700 Fifth Ave., 684-7171, seattle.gov/arts. Mon.–Fri., 7 a.m.–7 p.m. Through Jan. 4. petits taBleaux This group exhibition features small works by James Allen, Christopher Boffoli, Susan Dory, and others. Winston Wachter Fine Art, 203 Dexter Ave. N., 652-5855, winstonwachter.com. Mon.– Sat., 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Through Dec. 21.

film» »Review

Making a Killing

Crime’s just another business during the Great Recession.

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Melinda Sue Gordon © 2011 CoGan’S ProduCtionS

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Pitt’s Jackie kills for capitalism’s sake.

corporate mentality.” Cogan sighs: “This country is fucked.”

Dominik has little trouble telling his story visually with depth and potency. But his audio choices are, to use the technical term, absolutely shit. As the crooks bop between backroom card games, bus-depot drop-offs, and brutal killings, everywhere they go a TV or a radio injects real newscasts and talk-radio debates from fall 2008.

Dominick’s use of music is hardly more subtle, whether American standards (“It’s Only a Paper Moon,” “Life Is Just a Bowl of Cherries”) chosen for their “ironic” impact or the Velvet Underground’s “Heroin,” chosen to play over a scene of characters shooting heroin.

When not preoccupied with this kind of dumb-ass bell ringing, Dominik effectively sketches the pervasively toxic misogyny of this slice of post-history. There is one woman onscreen—a hooker treated ostentatiously badly by Gandolfini’s gluttonous, incompetent contractor. Gandolfini appears in only two scenes, but gives the film’s best performance as a man drowning in masculine/midlife crisis to the point of self-pitying, sentimental mooning over a “piece of ass” from his past. The film reflects a real, right-now hatred of women—a side effect of a dangerously distorted worldview that itself might be the endgame of the “total corporate mentality.” The biggest disappointment of Killing Them Softly is that such suggestions about said mentality, which add up to more than the sum of their parts, are far outnumbered by airless tabulations of criminal/corporate equivalency. E

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film@seattleweekly.com Killing Them SofTly Opens Fri., Nov. 30 at Varsity and other theaters.

Rated R. 97 minutes.

more film online » aseattleweekly.com

exclusive engagements BELLEVUE Lincoln

start Friday, november 30

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Se attle weekly • NOVEMBER 28− DECEMBER 4, 2012

n adaptation of George V. Higgins’ 1974 novel Cogan’s Trade, Andrew Dominik’s Killing Them Softly anatomizes a self-policing underground economy of junkies, killers, and administrators to suggest that the criminal satellite economy and the “straight” superstructure are functionally the same. Dominik’s previous film, the woefully underseen 2007 The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, also explored the distinctly American mirroring of outlaw life and “normal” business; where that film was so painterly as to almost turn its subject into an abstraction, Killing Them Softly leaves no question as to its “real” reason for being. It’s a movie that shows and then tells, tells, and tells again, its vibrant conjuring of contemporary cynicism felled by Dominik’s lack of faith in his audience’s ability to connect thematic dots.

This hyper-violent crime drama is bookended by excerpts from real speeches given in 2008

by Barack Obama. The film’s opening credits play over audio from candidate Obama’s DNC speech, his lofty words about the promise and potential of America contrasted with artfully exaggerated images encapsulating the America of the financial crisis that has backdropped the Obama era. Ex-con Frankie (Scoot McNairy) emerges into a tornado of trash swirling around city streets dominated by burned-out buildings, weed-strewn empty lots, and side-by-side campaign billboards advertising Obama and John McCain. In the film’s final scene, Obama’s words are contested by Jackie Cogan (Brad Pitt, on killer-cool autopilot), a hit man who strives to be the very definition of “professional.” He scoffs at the president-elect’s evocation of the American dream, declaring “America isn’t a country; it’s just a business.” The opening establishes the movie’s romantic aestheticization of wasteland America, its ground-level ruin not so much divided as disconnected from both sets of suits on high battling one another for the position of figurehead. The final scene puts the movie’s thesis into the mouth of a star whose mythic power threatens to dwarf that of any American president. Whom are you going to believe?

Other than deliver the punch line, Pitt doesn’t have a whole lot to do in this movie. Cogan enters half an hour in, after baby-faced Frankie and his junkie prison buddy Russell (Ben Mendelsohn) have successfully held up a poker game managed by Markie (Ray Liotta). Cogan is hired by a mob administrator, played by Richard Jenkins, to orchestrate the killings necessary to restore confidence in the underground gambling economy. It’s a small, incestuous town, and Cogan tries not to kill anyone he knows face-toface (the resemblance of his policy of “killing them softly, from a distance” to drone warfare is among the film’s few subtle allusions), so he insists on subcontracting a gunman from New York, Mickey (James Gandolfini). But getting the expense approved won’t be easy; Jenkins’ unnamed character complains there are “no decision-makers” among his bosses, just “total

By Karina Longworth

H H H “H

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Addicted to Fame

The Big Picture

Opens Fri., nOv. 30 at sundance cinemas. nOt rated. 89 minutes.

runs Fri., nOv. 30–thurs., dec. 6 at varsity. nOt rated. 114 minutes.

David Giancola’s cheapo, disingenuous doc contributes one painful scene to the collective understanding of what it must feel like to be a drug-addled tabloid bombshell trying to give the world something more than the one thing it already wants—and, thanks to Playboy, has pretty much already enjoyed. On the set of the T&A sci-fi comedy Illegal Aliens, Anna Nicole Smith fights to get through a speech that she herself wrote: She is to break character, launch into a fit of rage about the sloppy script, and demand “Who do I have to fuck to get out of this movie?” In response, crew members will raise their hands into the shot.

It’s a dark joke that demonstrates Smith’s awareness of the transactional nature of her celebrity: Sex had gotten her into the will of that tycoon and into the tabloids—maybe it could get her out of a go-nowhere indie, too. But Smith can’t get her own words out.

Giancola, also the director of Illegal Aliens, hired a crew to film her on set, guaranteeing that if the fiction movie proved a train wreck, at least he’d have train-wreck footage to peddle. Other than that stab at metafictional truth-telling, there’s little in Giancola’s footage worth noting, and Addicted to Fame is padded with Giancola’s attempts to sell Illegal Aliens—and his insensitivity and shamelessness as tragedies mount: first the death of Smith’s son, then her own. This is the story of a failed attempt to exploit the sad, dumb, tragic life of a woman famous only because she liked drugs and married rich and seemed dumb and enough men liked to masturbate to her. That it itself is bound to fail is some consolation. ALAN SCHERSTUHL

“You’re as free as the wind,” says Paul Exben (Romain Duris) to the son of a legal client to whom he has offered the choice of drug rehab or disinheritance from the family fortune. Oh, irony. Paul is himself encumbered with a career he hates and a family he suspects he’s beginning to lose. Based on Douglas Kennedy’s novel and adapted for French audiences with the addition of Western European ennui and tiny cars, director Eric Lartigau’s The Big Picture examines a pretty common fantasy of unhappy people—pulling a Dick Whitman/Don Draper switcheroo and fleeing to a new life—and creates a harrowing scenario that drives Paul to attempt it. After accidentally killing his wife’s lover and hoping to protect the children he loves from having a murderer for a father, Paul fakes his own death and steals the dead man’s identity. Escaping to Montenegro, he rekindles his passion for photography, a talent suspended in favor of career and family, and earns unexpectedly fast recognition for his outsized artistic talent. His depression, anxiety, and selfloathing compound the stress of pretending to be another person, but the surprising artistic acclaim and accompanying publicity present a terrifying threat of exposure. For most of the film, Lartigau creates the tension of a Hitchcock thriller solely through Paul’s interior struggle; late in the film, outside forces validate Paul’s anxieties during a scary misadventure at sea. It all invites comparison to The Talented Mr. Ripley, but where that film’s sociopathic protagonist generates nausea, The Big Picture invites identification. CHRIS PACKHAM

P Barrymore

Seattle weekly • NO VE MBER 28− DECE MBER 4, 2012

runs Fri., nOv. 30–thurs., dec. 6 at siFF Film center. nOt rated. 90 minutes.

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Anyone even slightly versed in Hollywood lore knows that the scandals that make TMZ twitter are child’s play compared to those of Hollywood’s early years, and that the template for bad-boy behavior was carved by the late John Barrymore. In writer/director Erik Canuel’s Barrymore, based on William Luce’s play, Christopher Plummer recreates his Tony-winning performance as the charming OG louse in his booze-addled final days. Blessed with a script that is witty, insightful about the narcissistic Hollywood psyche, and often wonderfully bitchy, the film is also a wistful look at faded dreams and opportunities lost due to both the vagaries of the business and self-sabotage. The balance is impressively struck between bawdy humor and elegiac riffs; Plummer’s surgically precise pirouettes spin his Barrymore from breezy quips to dark emotional free fall and back. The only other onscreen character is an exasperated “Frank, the Prompter” (John Plumpis, in fine gay-straightman form); the film is barely opened up from its stage origins, with most of the action taking place in an empty theater as Barrymore disastrously/hilariously attempts a performance of Richard III (“Richard the turd,” he dubs him) for potential investors in a comeback vehicle.

It takes a minute for the film to move beyond a kind of gilded stasis, but once it does, it and Plummer are riveting. ERNEST HARDY

Citadel runs Fri., nOv. 30–thurs., dec. 6 at siFF Film center. nOt rated. 85 minutes.

Reportedly inspired by a violent mugging experienced by writer/director Ciarán Foy, this hopelessly muddled horror movie takes place in a United Kingdom public-housing high-rise so dingy and bleak you might feel that razing it would be a mercy. Tommy Cowley (Aneurin Barnard) and his very pregnant wife, Joanne (Amy Shiels), were planning to escape it, but as Citadel opens, Joanne is attacked in the hallway by a band of hooded, shrieking children who stab a dirty syringe into her belly. Her newborn survives, but Joanne dies, leaving Tommy with an infant he can’t handle and a severe case of agoraphobia. Thanks to Barnard’s exquisitely stressed-out performance, Foy builds a palpable sense of unease, but when it comes time to explain what was in that syringe, as well as the intentions of the little monsters who wielded it, the filmmaker fumbles. Tommy turns to an embittered priest (James Cosmo) for guidance, and the explanations become a blur of words that boil down to the least satisfying of answers.

Here’s a spoiler, if you care: If it’s all in his head, Tommy would do well to conjure himself a nicer apartment. CHUCK WILSON

Hitchcock Opens Fri., nOv. 30 at Guild 45th and Other theaters. rated pG-13. 98 minutes.

Early in this movie, Alfred Hitchcock (played by Sir Anthony Hopkins with a sack of fat connecting chin to neck) walks the red carpet at the

Suzanne Tenner/Fox SearchlighT

film»This Week’s Attractions

premiere of his 1959 chase film, North by Northwest. “You’re 60 years old!” shouts a reporter.

The scene is an announcement that Hitchcock will be the kind of Hollywood movie in which veterans on the verge of obsolescence figure out how to beat the industry’s system of cycling out the old in favor of the new by changing with the times on their own terms. For Hitchcock’s Hitchcock, this means breaking away from starry “baubles” like North by Northwest to explore riskier territory. “What if someone really good made a horror picture?” he wonders.

Hopkins’ imitation of Hitchcock’s distinctive vocal cadence—the accent and heaviness of delivery, as if each word was rolled in bacon on its way out—is initially disarming, but the performance seems less convincingly human as the film wears on, failing to build on its first impression. Scarlett Johansson as Janet Leigh looks like Scarlett Johansson, and distractingly so. More painful are the attempts to transform Helen Mirren, the international gold standard of GILFs, into a dowdy woman-behind-the-man; her wig could not be shittier. Unfortunately, Hitchcock is a movie about bygone Hollywood that’s distinctly a product of Hollywood circa now. It bears the influence of the kind of reality TV in which the subject’s career is the excuse for the show, but in terms of screen time, what they actually do for a living is relevant only in that it puts them in glamorous locales and in contact with potential catalysts for stock, soapy side drama. KARINA LONgWORTH

Now, Forager runs Fri., nOv. 30–thurs., dec. 6 at nOrthwest Film FOrum. nOt rated. 93 minutes.

Sulky indie drama might not have been the best path through a story of mushroomers in a troubled marriage; that cheeky and possibly misleading title evokes Walt Whitman, but he’d probably write the actual movie off as a barbaric yawn. Over the course of one glum and gradual year, Basque-American foragers Lucien (writer/co-director Jason Cortlund) and Regina (Tiffany Esteb) come to find his borderlineantisocial nomadism at odds with her wearied hope for stability. But going their separate ways only means seeing their culinary aptitudes unappreciated by snotty dilettantes and provincial purveyors of mayonnaise-intensive “meat babies.” Moping ensues, with Cortlund’s oncamera confidence mostly in service of stony mulishness. At least mycology is of interest to him, albeit more so than dramatic shape: In voice-over, Lucien narrates a litany of binomial nomenclatures, concise cooking instructions,

Mirren’s Alma is the heroine of Hitchcock.

and, where applicable, symptoms of toxicity.

Yeah, we know this guy, at least well enough to want to direct more pity toward those around him, like the colleague who advises, on the matter of one scorned catering gig, “You just gotta put your head down and get through it.” Unfortunately, that advice also goes for abiding the movie—a slow-food procedural, commendably devoted yet still underdone. JONATHAN KIEfER

Radio Unnameable runs Fri., nOv. 30–thurs., dec. 6 at nOrthwest Film FOrum. nOt rated.

87 minutes.

A sporadically hard-selling homage to a cult hero from an overchronicled era, Radio Unnameable considers the career of Bob Fass, whose late-night free-form radio program of the same name on WBAI has kept New York City’s insomniacs and graveyardshift workers company for almost 50 years.

Fass, who had trained as an actor with Sanford Meisner, assumed his midnight-to-5:30 a.m., Monday-through-Friday berth at the left-leaning, listener-supported station in 1963, hosting visits and live studio performances by Bob Dylan, Phil Ochs, and Joni Mitchell—and saving at least one despondent soul from committing suicide on air. “Bob was everywhere it made sense for an activist to be,” notes Ed Sanders, one of many talking, graying heads assembled to lionize the DJ. Fass’ devising of or participation in various ’60s displays of civic-minded youthquaking—the fly-in at JFK, the sweep-in of the Village’s cruddy streets, the Yip-in at Grand Central Station—occasions overstatements from interviewees such as “It was sort of the forerunner of Twitter.” Increasing tumult at the notoriously chaotic, politically splintered WBAI led to Fass’ dismissal in 1977; he returned as a volunteer in 1983—a status he still holds, his hours cut to the midnight-to3-a.m. slot on Thursdays only. Now 79, the man with the snow-white ponytail in the radio booth hasn’t flagged; as one of Fass’ contemporaries says, “He can let someone go on and on and on.” MELISSA ANDERSON E film@seattleweekly.com

online » seattleweekly.com amore Reviewed online: The Collection

2 SW

ES ID

GIMME CULTURE!

2 GIFT GU 1 0

2 OF 5

Sw GI FT G UI DE #2, G IMM E CULTU RE! • adverti si ng su pplem ent • NO VEMBER 28 −DEC EM B ER 4, 2012

StellaArtois.com Always Enjoy Responsibly. © 2012 Anheuser-Busch InBev S.A., Stella Artois® Beer, Imported by Import Brands Alliance, St. Louis, MO

2 Brand: Stella Artois “Holiday” Item #: PSA201210383 Job/Order #:245718

Closing Date: 11/20/12 QC: CS

Publication: Seattle Weekly

Trim: 9.83" x 11.25" Bleed: none Live: 9.33" x 10.75"

PA AD AM

AE CD

The Year of

The Thoughtful Gift o it has been declared:

is a chance to right the

giving wrongs we’ve all been guilty of. It’s not that we ran short and

grocery stores started carrying mall store But this year will be different. We will give unique gifts of artisanal

and handmade

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didn’t care–schedules were hectic,

. ,

. We will think for no less than

about what a friend or loved one might actually want, like a one-of-a-kind custom leather

or a fresh local feast. And even better, a thoughtful

doesn’t mean we have to travel the

for one single

, and

give short shrift to others. Because thoughtful, local, meaningful for the entire extended

are at the

Visit our Pinterest gift guide to find gifts they’ll cherish. And here’s a gift from us to you: One hour free parking from 10am – 2pm at the Public Market Garage at 1531 Western Ave. Details at PikePlaceMarket.org.

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GIVE ME CULTURE! You are invited to our Open House Arts, Music, Books, Classes & Experiential Gifting

by Charyn Pfeuffer

Saturday, December 1st & Sunday, December 2nd We have closed our On-Pine location and would love to welcome you to our new Broadway at Pike store to show you our expanded selection of healthy foods and supplies for dogs and cats!

Join us for: s Refreshments s In-Store Adoptions s Mud Bay Gift Card Raffle s On-Site Photographer s Free Classes

Here are some of the things you love about our local culture.

“Themed costume pub crawls and parties, dancing in museums at midnight, improv, rockin’ wine events, neighborhood businesses banding together to curate events, public art, performances.” Keridwyn Deller of Capitol Hill, www.seattlepockets.com “Talking to strangers (everyone has a story!) and drinking a frozen latte from Caffe Ladro (shh ... a secret menu item and the best blended beverage on the market!) are two of my favorite things about Seattle.” Dawnelle D. of Rainier Beach, order-taker extraordinaire at Marination “Seattle has a dynamic dance scene, with many interesting performances from local and visiting choreographers and troupes. I’ve had season tickets to the UW World Dance series the last few years and really enjoyed it.” Kirsten Graham of Mount Baker, owner, KGPR

Mud Bay Broadway-at-Pike

1514 Broadway s 206-839-1144 9am - 9pm, Mon-Sat 10am - 7 pm, Sun.

Offering 695 Healthy Foods for Dogs and Cats Stocking more than 1500 Carefully Selected Supplies Fair Low Pricing Every Day

“My favorite thing about Seattle’s local culture: Village-style atmosphere with restaurants, shops close to home, and downtown is a bus ride away!” Michael D. of Upper Queen Anne, Stormnet Media Blitz “In Seattle, it’s all about balance. People here will be just as happy eating a messy, drippy Cuban sandwich at Paseo, Seattle’s most popular hole-in-the-wall, as they are dining out at a fancy restaurant … they just have to make sure they get both experiences.” Keren Brown of Queen Anne, FranticFoodie.com “My favorite spot on Seattle’s culture scene is Jazz Alley, where you can sit and listen to jazz greats such as Chick Corea, Stanley Clarke, and Branford Marsalis from tables right up against the stage.” Sheri Doyle of West Seattle, Pacific Northwest Journeys “Seattle is the home of ‘niche’ — whether it’s an off-the-wall business idea, underground sub-culture, or an unlikely style of music, there’s a sub-community somewhere in Seattle that will embrace it.” Glenn C. of Wallingford, Glenn Crytzer and his Syncopators “I love the small-town feel of Seattle and its big-city amenities as it relates to the accessibility of amazing culture, art and food.” Diana Naramore, co-owner of Ballard and Greenwood Sip and Ship “Whenever I feel like complaining about Seattle, all I have to do is remind myself that I grew up in the middle of Kansas.” Shawn Kralicek of Night Gallery Records “Twilight Artists Collective, with its local art, crazy jewelry and inspiration galore, is the perfect place to have a last-minute-gift panic attack. “ Beth L. of West Seattle, designer at A Crowded Coop “I’m always dazzled by the Alvarez Family Farm’s market stalls overflowing with produce, especially the brilliant-colored chiles of late summer.” Gretchen Goehrend of Magnolia, founder of India Tree Gourmet Spices and Specialties “From the Rainier Valley Heritage Parade, to School of Rock performing at The Crocodile, to parking-strip food gardens, we love everything Seattle.” Nicole and Brian Durbin of Columbia City, co-owners of Black Bottle, Black Bottle Postern and The Innkeeper “Love Sundays in West Seattle. The Farmers Market at the Junction is amazing, and where else can you hit a world-class bakery (Bakery Nouveau), grab some kitchen supplies (Capers), shop for adorable clothes (Carmilia’s), pick up some hipster shoes (the Sneakery and Clementine), sip coffee while you browse for CDs (Easy Street), and run into 20-30 people you know?” Anita L. of West Seattle Yes, we can and should be proud to live in a city rich with culture and with more arts per capita than many bigger cities. What follows is a list of carefully chosen cultural gifts and experiences that will bring plenty of pleasure and NW pride to all of your recipients. Now go on and GIVE ’EM CULTURE!

unique findings at every turn

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We know that Seattle is the Northwest’s best and most beautiful city. Here at Seattle Weekly, we (mostly) sing its praises for pages on end every single Wednesday, so we may be a bit biased. When we started compiling this gift guide on local culture, we wanted to get the scoop from our readers and what Seattle’s culture means to you.

From our iconic Space Needle to unique celebrations (cyclists don’t ride buck naked in every city, you know), there’s a reason why you endure an average of 155 days of rainfall each year.

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Pike Place Market

Scan to Plan  your spree with SW’s interactive maps

MILAGROS FINE MEXICAN FOLK ART

Sw GI FT G UI DE #2, G IMM E CULTU RE! • adverti si ng su pplem ent • NO VEMBER 28 −DEC EM B ER 4, 2012

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the best of mexico is here!

GIVE A UNIQUE GIFT! • Oaxacan carvings • Religious artwork • Talavera pottery • Huichol artwork • & more

Hat design by MULUK

“I do all my shopping at Boston Street”

Pike Place market: Post Alley (just off Pine St) 2nd location 1409 1st Ave, between Pike & Union 206.464.0490 www.MilagrosSeattle.com

Come enjoy the taste of the Old Country at our newly remodeled store at Pike Place Market

:

Helping to launch and grow small local businesses

THE

STORE Pike Place Market, Mezzanine Level • 206-508-1342 • www.shopventures.org

Since 1972

Isadoras antique Jewelry

Good Tidings We Bring!

1601 First Ave . isadoras.com . 206.441.7711

1920A Pike Place Seattle, WA 98101 206-441-0942 HOURS Mon. - Sat. 9am-5:45pm, Sun 10-6

GIMME CULTURE SAM Membership Give a gift that friends and family can enjoy throughout the year: the gift of SAM membership. Now showing through midJanuary, women reign supreme in Elles: Women Artists from the Centre Pompidou, Paris. This landmark exhibit touts more than 130 works of art made by 75 female artists from 1907 to 2007. For more gift inspiration, visit SAM SHOP for uncommon objects that fit all budgets.

Seattle Art Museum 1300 First Ave., 206-654-3210 seattleartmuseum.org $65 and up

Glassybaby

Grand Illusion Cinema Membership Did you know that Grand Illusion Cinema is Seattle’s oldest continuously running movie theater? Showing classic, foreign, rare and campy films since 1968, this nonprofit is run by a crew of seriously dedicated volunteers.

Membership buys reduced admission to films and a variety of cool perks depending upon the level. The space is also available to rent for private functions. Help keep the 35mm format alive — one film at a time.

Grand Illusion Cinema 1403 NE 50th St., 206-523-3935 grandillusioncinema.org $30 and up

PAGE 7

THE IRISH ROVERS Thursday | November 29 $25, $30 & $35, $15 youth/students 10% discount for 62+ & military Sponsored by Comprehensive Wealth Management, Gallaghers’ Where-U-Brew & the Boys, Loos’ and Tombergs

MOSCOW BOYS CHOIR

Scarecrow Video Gift Card Fact: Scarecrow Video is home to the largest movie-rental inventory in the country, with more than 117,000 individual titles available for rent. Located in the University District, the indie video store stocks everything from latest releases to obscure titles and everything in between. Buy your fave movie buff a gift certificate, which are good for both rentals and sales. They also have an amazing selection of Blu-rays and DVDs for sale, which always make great gifts.

Scarecrow Video 5030 Roosevelt Way NE, 206-524-8554 scarecrow.com available in any amount

Tuesday | December 18 $25, $30 & $35, $15 youth/students 10% discount for 62+ & military Sponsored by Phill and Marni Muir Butler & Alan Lawrence/Edward Jones Investments

ec4arts.org | 425.275.9595 410FOURTHAVENUENORTH EDMONDSWA98020

2012–2013 SEASON presented by

ECA_SeattleWeekly_QtrC_Rovers_MBC_111912.indd 1

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Glassybaby was founded in Seattle by a three-time cancer survivor with a mission of health, healing and quality of life. Since 2003, Glassybaby has given more than $1 million from sales to charitable causes. Each season, the talented team at Glassybaby selects some of their favorite candle holders to benefit a special charity or organization; 10% of the gross sale of each ‘angel’ will be donated to Camp Korey in Carnation, Wash.

Glassybaby Locations in Madrona, University Village, Bellevue; 877-299-3591 glassybaby.com $44

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Scan to Plan  your spree with SW’s interactive maps

winter

SALE

NEW LOFT BAR NOW OPEN!

Up to 40% OFF Going on NOW!

Sw GI FT G UI DE #2, G IMM E CULTU RE! • adverti si ng su pplem ent • NO VEMBER 28 −DEC EM B ER 4, 2012

Friday - Saturday, Events & PRIVATE PARTIES Book yours Now!

8

Email : info@ballardloft.com Additional Detail at www.ballardloft.com

UNIQUE GIFTS AND FOODS FROM SCANDINAVIA Open Monday - Saturday, 10am to 5:30pm December: Open Sundays, 11am to 4pm

Come Enjoy our Cozy Cafe!

6719 15th Avenue NW • Seattle • 206-784-7020

www.scanspecialties.com

Always unique, delightfully whimsical 2206 NW Market Street 7 days a week • www.RomanzaGifts.com

handcrafted toys, classic toys, games, art supplies, science kits, bedding, clothing & furniture 5333 Ballard Avenue NW Seattle, WA 98107 CloverToys.com

ART ALTERNATIVES STRETCHED CANVAS THROUGH 12/31/2012

PAINTS, BRUSHES, PASTELS, FINE ART PAPERS, DRAWING & GRAPHIC SUPPLIES, ART BOOKS, CANVAS, PRINTMAKING, CRAFT & KIDS ART SUPPLIES, & MORE!

NOW OPEN IN BALLARD! 2000 MARKET STREET, SEATTLE 206.523.4830 ~ WWW.DAKOTAARTSTORES.COM ~ OPEN 7 DAYS

GIMME CULTURE Photography Instruction Do you know someone who would love to learn how to take great (or better) photos?

Local photographer Peter West Carey gets aspiring and advanced shutterbugs out of the classroom and into an environment where they feel comfortable with a camera. Need the basics of light, shutter, aperture and ISO covered? Done. Want to work on more advanced camera mechanics and techniques?

Yep, he can do that too. For the more ambitious, he has photo tours planned to Bhutan, Nepal, and Hawaii planned for 2013.

Peter West Carey peterwestcarey.com $145 per two hour, hands-on session plus one month of email critiques

Please join Four Seasons Hotel Seattle and Make-A-Wish® Washington for our second annual

Holiday Brunch with Santa Sunday, December 9, 2012 9:00 a.m. to 11:00 a.m.

Four Seasons Hotel, 99 Union Street Enjoy a delicious plated breakfast, create holiday crafts and receive a commemorative photo with Santa.

Adults: $50/Children: $25 (two and under are free)

Give the gift of golf with a gift card to Interbay Golf Center. The wintertime golfing experience in Seattle can be a bit challenging, but some practice time at this driving range can help keep your swing in tip-top shape.

Covered, heated stalls make cold weather conditions manageable. Kids can sign up for one-day junior camps taught by PGA and LPGA teaching professionals; lesson packages are also available for adults.

Interbay Golf Center 2501 15th Ave. W, 206-285-2200 premiergc.com available in any amount

Cafe & Paddle Club Gift Card Rent kayaks and suck down tasty margaritas all in one spot? Yep, you can do that at Agua Verde Cafe & Paddle Club (although we recommend waiting on the tequila until AFTER you’re back on land). Get on the water with a guided tour (the New Moon tours are fab) or go solo and explore Lake Union and Lake Washington. There are also Stand Up Paddleboards available for the intrepid. It’s a great gift and one of the best ways to explore Seattle and see wildlife.

Agua Verde Cafe & Paddle Club 1303 NE Boat St., 206-545-8570 aguaverde.com available in any amount

Batting Cages Gift Card Most batting cages are fun, but this 20,000foot indoor facility is especially awesome.

A great activity for kids and grown-ups alike. They supply the helmets, bats and ball and you bring your best Babe Ruth impersonation. An easy online reservation system makes it simple to book cage time by the hour.

North Seattle Batting Cages 8512 20th Ave. NE, 206-300-7908 northseattlebattingcages.com available in any amount

Please RSVP by November 30 to Jessica McKenzie at 206.623.5300 or jessicam@nwwishes.org.

PAGE 9 Limited event parking available.

“I wish to go to Walt Disney World Resort. ” ®

Thank you to our generous sponsors: Tom & Jen Faley © Photo courtesy of Brian David Casey Photography

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Interbay Golf Center

Kaden, 4 (liver disease)

9

10 gift ideas for music lovers»As Compiled by SW’S REVERB Writers»

10

RENEE MCMAHON

Sw GI FT G UI DE #2, G IMM E CULTU RE! • adverti si ng su pplem ent • NO VEMBER 28 −DEC EM B ER 4, 2012

Tickets to see The End’s Deck the hall Ball, Dec. 4, KeyArena: Not surprisingly, this show is sold out. AND it’s three weeks before Christmas. Which means if you can procure a pair of tickets for the one you love (who also loves the Killers, M83, Metric, the Lumineers, etc.), you are going to be setting the stage for an historic holiday season. Holiday-themed presents are always better (and less dated) in advance, and they give the holidays a longer shelf life. OK, down to the nitty gritty of getting tickets to this sold-out show.

First: Check Ticketmaster every morning.

More tickets will be (quietly) released as the date approaches. Second: Check every hour the day of the show. Third: Go to the show and get tickets at the door (it sometimes happens) or from scalpers (it won’t be as bad as you think; there are LOTS of seats in KeyArena). Good luck!

the Beatles stereo Vinyl Box set: There are several ways you can go about getting all 14 Beatles LPs. If you have the

scratch ($300-plus), picking up this newly released box set of Sgt. Pepper, Rubber Soul, etc., on thick, fresh vinyl is a good way to go. Even if your loved one is a longtime Beatles fan, they may never have had every record at the same time (I can’t be the only one plagued by this trend). If your budget is somewhat limited, that’s all right. You can usually find just about every Fab Four release in the REALLY CHEAP used-vinyl bins at Everyday Music on Capitol Hill. Yeah, the copies will be . . . a bit worn, but they’ll average about $7 each.

You’ll also score some points for crate-digging.

Beck hansen, song reaDer (out Dec. 7 via McSweeney’s): Beck’s new “album” isn’t really an album at all, it’s a BOOK OF SHEET MUSIC! Which sounds kinda pretentious, I know. But it’s actually pretty fantastic. And think about this: Would you rather sit around the piano this Christmas belting out the same old standards, or rallying the family band in one of the first-ever performances of a Beck original? Give this to the musician in your family and watch as it keeps on giving as you all learn the tunes. tickets to sasquatch! We have no idea who’s playing the big ol’ shindig at the Gorge, going down May 24-27 (but last year’s lineup of Beck, Jack White, Girl Talk, etc. should give you an idea of the vibe).

We do know a few things: 1. This festival is going to sell out. 2. There is someone on your list who’s going to freak when you give them tickets for Christmas. 3. Grandmas, this one is better than cash, since it can only be enjoyed and CANNOT be used to pay down debt. Tickets are on sale now for $300 (includes camping). Yes, the price will go up in the spring. a ukulele from Dusty strings: The history of the ukulele: First the Hawaiians played them, then Eddie Vedder played one, then all the fecking hepsters played

WALLLINGFORD

TOS wit h

SANPTHAOTOS with DEC. 1 SA -2 NTA

DEC. 1-2

 Scan to Plan your spree with SW’s interactive maps

wallingfordcenter.com 1815 N. 45th Street | wallingfordcenter.com Kindle_6.17x2.25.pdf 1 11/7/2012 3:24:57 PM

Shop LocaL!

Verity Credit Union - Wallingford 4545 Stone Way N Seattle, WA 98103

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SHOP SHOPLOCAL! LOCAL!PHO

A holiday shopping mecca!

Support Wallingford Small Independent Businesses!

them, and now it’s your turn! The ukulele is having a revival for a reason: It’s adorable, it’s portable, it’s laughably easy to learn (I was successfully strumming “Cecelia” within an hour of owning mine), and you can slap down a Benjamin and walk out with change, a ukulele, and a case. Throw in a set of lessons at Dusty Strings and you’re one step closer to a Jason Mraz sing-along.

ford Br a nch

veritycu.com/kindle

G e t a Kindle Fire!

Federally Insured by NCUA

URBAN CRAFT UPRISING

CRAFTY AUTHOR BOOK SIGNINGS

FREE CRAFT DEMOS Furoshiki

Urban Craft Uprising is Seattle’s largest indie craft show!

At UCU, celebrating its eighth year, fans can choose from a wide variety of hand-crafted goods, including clothing of all types, jewelry, gifts, bags, wallets, buttons, accessories, aprons, children’s goods, toys, housewares, paper goods, candles, kits, art, food, and much, much more.

with Stitch & Sew Studio Dani Cone Cutie Pies

Each show is carefully curated to ensure the best mix of handmade designer crafts & arts. This bi-annual show features over 150 vendors excelling in the community. Over the course of 8 years UCU has garnered so much attention that over 12,000 fans swarm to the show over the course of a weekend.

The team from the NEW Stitch & Sew Studio are teaching how to wrap holiday gifts with fabrics by using the art of Furoshiki! This traditional, Japanese art teaches you to wrap everything from Wine bottles to Books with beautiful fabrics. Fun, unique and creative—just in time for the holidays.

Embroidered Ornaments

Megan Seling Bake it in a Cupcake

This show is free & fun for the whole family!

A NOTE FROM OUR ORGANIZERS

with Tako Fibers

Design and make your own 3” embroidered ornament!

Emily from Tako Fibers will show you embroidery basics and get you started. Then, you can choose from a provided pattern, or you can make your own. All materials are provided!

Tiny Terrariums

Maggie Savarino The Seasonal Cocktail Companion

with little wicked designs This demo will include all materials and instruction for each person to create a tiny terrarium of their own! You will choose from an assortment of tiny glass vials, and create a living tiny garden.

3D Needle Felting Basics

with Moxie Kristen Rask

Carla Sonheim

Lindsey Ross

The Art of Silliness

We all know the benefits of shopping local abound: you’re keeping your money circulating in the local economy, you’re directly supporting others and their families, and you get to interact with the producer of whatever you’re purchasing—which is a bonus whether your biggest concern is the quality of the product, the sourcing of the materials, the creative process, or just making a connection with someone in your community.

Learn to make and embellish 3D wool objects using fiber and felting needles. You’ll have time to explore several interchangeable techniques to make unique jewelry pieces, small soft toys and replicas like fruits and veggies, or even free-form abstract sculpture.

Needle Felted Embellishing

Carla Sonheim Drawing and Painting Imaginary Animals

with Moxie

Create your own tapestries, make a new design on an old sweater, or poke some extra cuteness on those thrift-store baby socks with the magic of needle felting! Supplies will be provided but feel free to bring your favorite fabric swatches to play with.

Catch All Fabric Bowl

By shopping at UCU, you have the chance to shop local, on a huge scale! We’ve done all the legwork of getting all these incredible local crafters and designers under one roof, so you can have the one-stop-shop experience, without the big box store.

Carole Cancler The Home Preserving Bible

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

Demo: Furoshiki . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12pm-1pm Signing: Dani Cone . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12pm-1pm Demo: Embroidered Ornaments . . . . . . . . . . . 1pm-2pm Signing: Carla Sonheim . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1pm-2pm Demo: 3D Needle Felting Basics . . . . . . . . . . . 2pm-3pm Signing: Megan Seling . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2pm-3pm Demo: Catch-All Fabric Bowl. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3pm-4pm Signing: Carole Cancler . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3pm-4pm

Demo: Tiny Terrariums . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12pm-1pm Signing: Maggie Savarino . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12pm-1pm Demo: Furoshiki . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1pm-2pm Signing: Megan Seling . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1pm-2pm Demo: Needle Felted Embellishing . . . . . . . . . 2pm-3pm Signing: Carole Cancler . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2pm-3pm Signing: Carla Sonheim . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3pm-4pm

with Jonah Rondon

We will be making a small and simple fabric bowl that will hold small trinkets, buttons, coins, hair clips, etc. A free kit will be provided for 12 people that will include everything you need to make one for you and one to give as a gift.

First 100 fans in line each day receive a

FREE SWAG BAG full of goodies from our vendors.

97 7 100 5 82 52 27 76 56 113 95 44 26 145 96 85 1 101 6 19 138 115 8 71 135 39 69 22 68 24 91 143 144 41 84 12 46 48 156 150 109 152 55 87 122 10 3 148 65 124 9 37 67 157

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Greenbelts from New American Design Gritty Jewelry Grove LLC Hasenpfeffer Incorporated Heidi’s Pottery holden lee tees

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10 gift ideas for music lovers»As Compiled by SW’S REVERB Writers» » froM Page 10

performs acoustic sets at every restaurant stop. Last month, Motopony’s Daniel Blue stood on a chair in the middle of Revel, plucking away at his guitar, while the group nibbled short-rib dumplings and Korean kimchi pancakes. December brings A Very Merry Mustache Adventure: four hours of eating. Multiple musicians and a well-fed Santa Claus even make an appearance. averymerrymoustache.eventbrite.com

 DON’T MISS THIS  Reverb Music Monthly’s SEATTLE MUSIC ANNUAL: 2012 Inside SW’s December 19 Issue

tickets to see “land of the sWeets: the Burlesque nutcracker” at the triPle door (Dec. 11-16, 18-24, 26-27): This one almost goes without saying (almost). Even the most ca’lous, cynical individual lets a little eggnog into their cup this time of year. And the “Burlesque Nutcracker” at the Triple Door really does offer a little something for everyone.

For those who aren’t fans of Nutcracker, there’s burlesque; for those who don’t like burlesque, there’s Nutcracker; and for those who don’t cotton to either, there are inventive mixologists who aim to please and have a special talent for hitting their target. the hunger gaMes: songs froM district 12 and Beyond: No, this isn’t a Christmas album!

And that’s good, because Christmas albums are dated on Dec. 26. This album—featuring music inspired by, though mostly not included in, the film—is easily one of the year’s best albums.

Brilliantly curated by T-Bone Burnett (of O Brother, Where Art Thou fame), the album includes choice cuts from Arcade Fire, Secret Sisters, Neko Case, and, yes, Taylor Swift. It’s a solid go-to album for anyone on your list with a soft spot for indie rock, country, rock, or pop.

Holiday Flavors: Pumpkin Gingersnap Eggnog Spiced Apple Pie

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Fremont • 704 North 34th Street

The Bastyr Dispenssary

20 % off Unique Natural Gifts

Jewelry • Body Care • Sweets Housewares • Books • Clothing Candles • Incense and more

December 1– 8, 2012 Hours vary. Visit WholeHealth.BastyrCenter.net for details.

The Bastyr Dispensary at Bastyr Center for Natural Health 3670 Stone Way N., Seattle • 206.834.4114

S w G I FT G U I D E #2, GIM M E C ULTUR E! • ad ve rtisi n g sup ple ment • NO VEMBER 28− DECEMBER 4, 2012

gift certificate to White Mustache’s Musical Plates tour: Music + food = <3. It’s an easy equation-one that food and music fanatic Bryce Lathrop has perfected with his Musical Plates tours. Bryce takes a local band, grills them on their favorite foods, and then curates a selection of locally loved restaurants based on their tastes.

You eat your way around Seattle while the band

RENEE MCMAHON

Musical-theMed cooking tools froM easy street/ eMP/aMazon.coM: For decades, disappointed mothers have ripped open holiday wrapping to find . . . a blender. A salad spinner.

A hand-held vacuum. But GAMA-GO now sells a line of musical-themed kitchenware for the whimsical, headbanging cook. The Shredder Cheese Grater is shaped like an electric guitar; the wheel of the pizza cutter looks like a record; and the Hiphopsicles ice-cube tray will pimp out your holiday cocktails with microphone, boombox, and turntableshaped ice.

gift card to rock Box: Gift tip #354: Buy someone a present that will also benefit you. I would hope that gifting someone an experience at Rock Box, Capitol Hill’s uber-modern, Japanese style karaoke parlor, would secure you an invitation to spend a rainy, dreary evening in a small room belting out Aerosmith’s “Cryin’.” Material things don’t last forever, but the night you spend with your homies stuffed into a small room, belting out “American Pie” under the influence of sake, will last a lifetime. Bonus round: It’s happy hour all day long on Sundays.

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Capitol Hill

‘Tis the season to find things that make you feel good.

Sw GI FT G UI DE #2, G IMM E CULTU RE! • adverti si ng su pplem ent • NO VEMBER 28 −DEC EM B ER 4, 2012

and Collectibles

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39

GIMME CULTURE Art Classes

No

This holiday, give the gift of creativity by enrolling the crafty person in your life in art classes at Thrive Art School. They offer fine arts classes for the kiddies, as well as special interest courses for teens and grownups. So whether you’re just starting out or looking to master a new medium like pencil, watercolor, charcoal and acrylic paint, there are classes for all ages and abilities.

Thrive Art School 6329 Ravenna Ave. NE, 206-522-1659 drawingschool.com $79 a month and up

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Ma ke t h e p l e d g e to shop local this holi Foster your kid’s musical creativity with classes at School of Rock. Bow down to the gods of guitar — Page, Clapton, Bonham and Gilmour — in School of Rock’s one-day workshops. Or learn to rock hands-on-lesson style with the guitar, bass guitar, vocals, keys and/or drums. If your kid’s mastered the Ramones’ catalog and is ready to take it to the stage, there’s a performance program too.

School of Rock 13730 Lake City Way NE, Suite B201 206-417-7625, schoolofrock.com $49 and up

PAGE 13

Pl e

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Make the Pledge online

& get a FREE cupcake Children’s Theatre Enchant and inspire the wee ones on your list with the magical gift of live theater at Seattle Children’s Theatre. From The Wizard of Oz to Adventures with Spot, interactive performances are geared to a variety of audiences — from newborns and up. In 2004, TIME Magazine ranked Seattle Children’s Theatre #2 in the top five children’s theatres in the nation.

Seattle Children’s Theatre 201 Thomas St., 206-443-0807 sct.org Pack of six Flex Passes $186

Plus goodies from other great local businesses like...

Top Ten Toys Central Co-op Fremont Brewing University Book Store Alchemy Goods ...and many more!

Recess Monkey CD Recess Monkey is made up of three local elementary school teachers who create music for kids and families. Their eighth and latest album, In Tents, was inspired by a four-month stint at Teatro ZinZanni. Set in an imaginary traveling show, the album captures the pitch-perfect understanding of the high-energy hijinks that get kids excited.

Top Ten Toys 104 North 85th St., 206-782-0098 toptentoys.com $14.99

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GIMME CULTURE Teatro ZinZanni Gift Card

Help a Local Kid with Critical Needs

This is not your standard, issue dinner and a show. Instead, expect to be delighted by singers, dancers, aerialists and acrobatic performers in this part circus, part comedy extravaganza described as “the Kit Kat Klub on acid.” A five-course feast is served during the three-hour production, which switches up shows a few times each year. There are special holiday gift packages available, as well.

Teatro ZinZanni 222 Mercer St., 206-802-0015, dreams.zinzanni.org/giftpackages available in any amount

Seattle Children’s Hospital is taking part in the launch of the first-ever crowdfunded hospital gift catalog, www.GiveMiracles.org, as part of a national campaign led by the world’s largest crowdfunding-for-good platform, Fundly, and Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals.

Donors can choose gifts ranging from a $30 comfort toy to a $12 billion neonatal intensive care wing and will receive updates on how their gift is being utilized.

Seattle Children’s Hospital givemiracles.org

Milk Fund and CookieFest

The holy trinity of local historical theaters — The Paramount, Moore and Neptune Theaters — are much-beloved for their rockin’ lineup of shows. Looking ahead, the 2013 calendar does not disappoint. Give the performing arts lovers on your list a gift certificate to STG Presents, which can be applied towards upcoming shows like The Book of Mormon, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Soundgarden or Seattle Rock Orchestra performs Smashing Pumpkins. Orders must be placed no later than Sun., Dec. 18.

The Paramount Theatre Box Office 911 Pine St., 206-682-1414 stgpresents.org available in any amount

Seattle Milk Fund is gearing up for the annual traditional holiday event, CookieFest. Early on Saturday, December 8, more than 20 of Seattle’s best bakeries and culinary schools will have fresh-baked cookies for sale for gifts or immediate gobbling. All proceeds will benefit the Seattle Milk Fund, which strives to increase economic stability for families by awarding childcare and education grants.

Free activities will be available to entertain the little ones while CookieFest shoppers select their sweets.

Downtown Macy’s, Stewart Street Room 3rd Floor, 1601 3rd Ave., 206-729-2304, seattlemilkfund.org $15 per dozen while supplies last

36

GLASSHOUSE STUDIO  Scan to Plan your spree with SW’s interactive maps

PIONEER SQUARE a great place to shop!

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Unique handmade glass art & gifts From Seattle’s oldest Glassblowing studio

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HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Everything on sale till the end of the year 5-50%!!

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Give the Gift of Chocolate!

99 Yesler Way in P ioneer Square (206) 405-2872 1419 1st Avenue Downtown (206) 262-9581

311 Occidental Ave S • 206-682-9939 glasshouse-studio.com

PAGE 15

S w G I FT G U I D E #2, GIM M E C ULTUR E! • ad ve rtisi n g sup ple ment • NO VEMBER 28− DECEMBER 4, 2012

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GIMME CULTURE Century Ballroom Gift Card

Rat City Rollergirls Tickets

Looking for a big dance floor, a lively crowd and a place to learn salsa, swing, tango or tap?

Give the gift of a five-week class series ($60) to your favorite dancing friends. (No stars necessary.) Gift cards are good for all products and services, including classes, cover charges and food and drink at The Tin Table.

Century Ballroom 915 E. Pine St., 206-324-7263 centuryballroom.com available in any amount

For the badass chicks (and guys) in your life, buy ’em season tickets to Seattle’s all-female, flat-track roller derby league. Bouts are fast, furious and filled with hard-hitting action, as four home teams and one all-star team battle it out to burn rubber and leave their opponents in the dust.

Rat City Rollergirls 206-599-9613, ratcityrollergirls.com $70 and up

Moisture Festival Tickets

Save money and get the best possible seats with series tickets to the Seattle Symphony.

Choose from 3- to 21-concert series packages and tack on the convenience of pre-paid parking if you wish. Subscribers also have access to special events before the general public. From Stravinsky & Mozart to Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons, Seattle Symphony hosts more than 200 concerts annually.

Seattle Symphony 200 University St., 206-215-4700 seattlesymphony.org prices vary

In its 10th year, the 2013 Moisture Festival promises even more awe-inspiring Comedy/ Varietè-infused Burlesque acts. A magnificent spread of more than 50 shows (including New Year’s Eve 2013!) will be presented across Hale’s Palladium, SIFF Theater, and Broadway Performance Hall from March 21 to April 14 (other venues to be announced). Expect rapid-fire entertainment including aerial acts, jugglers, comedians, and yes, even fire.

Moisture Festival (206) 297-1405, moisturefestival.com pricing varies

PHINNEYWOOD Find it all in Greenwood & Phinney Ridge

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PAGE 17

Showroom

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GIMME CULTURE Salsa con Todo Gift Card

Ten Grands Seattle

Give your favorite couple the red hot gift of romantic dance with a Salsa con Todo gift card. Beginners to advanced students can learn the fundamentals of Salsa, but also delve into Bachata, Merengue, Cha Cha Cha, and Guaguanco. Recent Salsa 101 Session student Radley E. raves, “What I enjoy about Vassili’s teaching style, is that he doesn’t just teach you a bunch of monochromatic dance steps. He shows you the flow, the details, the way you make these steps sexy and seamless.” Now, who wouldn’t want to learn some suave Latin dance skills?

Salsa Con Todo 750 North 34th St., 206-402-2945 salsacontodo.com available in any amount

For a super-special gift, consider tickets to the one-night only “Ten Grands Seattle” concert on May 11, 2013 at Benaroya Hall.

Picture this: Ten grand pianos on stage with musicians playing solos, simultaneously and in various combinations. Proceeds benefit the Snowman Foundation, which supplies grand pianos to organizations in Washington state that provide music education and experience to kids. So indirectly, your price of admission helps give the gift of music to children.

Benaroya Hall Box Office 200 University St., 206-215-4800 benaroyahall.org $42 and up

“Seattle’s premium comfort shoe store since 1970”

The Holidays and U! Explore the U-District and U-Village this holiday season  Scan to Plan your spree with SW’s interactive maps

ALTSTADT INTERIORS

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PAGE 19

S w G I FT G U I D E #2, GIM M E C ULTUR E! • ad ve rtisi n g sup ple ment • NO VEMBER 28− DECEMBER 4, 2012

Give the Gift of COMFORT!

19

film» by brian miller

Local Film

•

r. kelly trapped in the cloSet SinG-alonG

The R&B singer with a checkered criminal record stars in this serial melodrama with music. Most episodes concern his troubles with the ladies. After adding to the project over seven years, Kelly is reportedly now considering a Broadway musical show based on the same material. (NR) SIFF Cinema Uptown, $7-$12, Fri., Nov. 30, 10 p.m.; Sat., Dec. 1, 10 p.m.

Send events to film@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings = Recommended

•

Thornton ruins Christmas in Bad Santa. roBBie land: new 16mm workS The artist will

introduce and discuss his avant garde shorts, numbering seven in total, about bioluminescence, photosynthesis, Florida coastlines, and Appalachia.” (NR) Grand Illusion, $5-$8, Thu., Nov. 29, 9 p.m. lunafeSt Nine shorts by women filmmakers are screened at this cocktail fundraiser for local nonprofit Reel Grrls and the Breast Cancer Fund. Hosted by Girl Power Hour. (NR) Seattle Art Museum, 1300 First Ave., lunafest.org, $35, Tue., Dec. 4, 5:30 p.m. the princeSS Bride Quote-alonG From 1987, Rob Reiner’s charming PG-rated adaptation of the classic William Goldman children’s tale The Princess Bride is sweet, funny, and well played down the line for both parents and kids. Cary Elwes and Robin Wright Penn are the handsome, occasionally quarrelsome lovers; Wallace Shawn, Mandy Patinkin, and the late André the Giant help get them together after many amusing adventures. (G) SIFF Cinema Uptown, $7-$12, Nov. 30-Dec. 4, 7:30 p.m. reServoir doGS With his Django Unchained arriving in theaters on Christmas Day, whet your appetite with Quentin Tarantino’s memorably violent, funny 1992 debut feature. The bungled robbery flick stars Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, and Steve Buscemi as the ever-complaining Mr. Pink. How and why their heist went wrong gradually unfolds in flashbacks as elliptical as QT’s hypercaffeinated dialogue. See FathomEvents.com for other theaters. And note that Pulp Fiction is also reprised on Thurs., Dec. 6. (R) BRIAN MILLER Pacific Place, $15, Tue., Dec. 4, 7 p.m. the thinG Stalked by a shape-shifting, DNAinfiltrating alien on their Antarctic base, Kurt Russell and company dissolve into mutual suspicion and distrust. The beast could be inside any of them, so you have to shoot your pal—or incinerate him with a flamethrower—without hesitation to save your own skin. John Carpenter’s 1982 The Thing is a reverse guys-on-a-mission flick, where unit cohesion falters and leader turns against crew. It’s morning in America, and utter darkness at the South Pole. (R) BRIAN MILLER Central Cinema, $6-$8, Nov. 30-Dec. 5, 9:45 p.m. the twiliGht Zone marathon SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 15. vertiGo With the biopic Hitchcock opening this week, now’s the perfect time to revisit his 1958 masterpiece Vertigo, which just bumped Citizen Kane off the top of the decadal Sight & Sound poll.

No, I didn’t vote, but I rank the film as the the most emotionally resonant tragedy of Alfred Hitchcock’s long career. Jimmy Stewart is the San Francisco cop, afraid of heights, who falls for Kim Novak, loses her, and then gradually loses his mind while trying to recreate her image with another woman (also Novak, unbeknownst to him). The psycho-thriller is less overtly Freudian than, say, Psycho, but plunges deepest into the psyche of a guy so in love with a dead woman (who claims to be a reincarnation) that his urges push a live woman—who can’t live up to his ideal—to her death. It’s eros and thanatos dancing to a classic score by Bernard Herrmann (to say nothing of the famous Saul Bass poster), pulling Stewart inexorably into the fatal whorl of his own passion, like the spiral curl of Novak’s blond hair, like the twisted tissues of his own cortex. (NR) BRIAN MILLER Grand Illusion, $5-$8, 6:15 & 8: 45 p.m. Wed., 6:15 p.m. Thurs. Through Nov. 29.

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For the first time ever see Jimi Hendrix’s unforgettable August 1969 Woodstock concert on the big screen.

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ers, director Terry Zwigoff’s 2003 film is calculated to affront anyone who holds the holidays sacred. It is vile, hateful, and—for most of its 90-odd minutes—utterly soulless. That said, I can’t imagine chortling so heartily, and guiltily, at a blacker black Christmas comedy. Billy Bob Thornton plays a self-loathing, foul-mouthed, alcoholic safecracker who annually dons white beard and red suit for his criminal M.O.: He and his elfin cohort (Tony Cox) loot a department store every Christmas Eve and live large for the rest of the year. Whoomp, there’s your plot. Bad Santa simply follows Thornton’s misanthropic human wrecking ball through affluent Phoenix suburbia. (R) ANDREW BONAZELLI Central Cinema, $6-$8, Thu., Nov. 29, 8 p.m. the Black Balloon This new short by Josh and Benny Safdie is inspired by—and followed by—the famous 1956 French short by Albert Lamorisse, The Red Balloon. Both concern cities (New York and Paris, respectively) and children. Rounding out the program are the 1923 silent The Balloonatic (with Buster Keaton accidentally aloft) and the 1935 cartoon The Pincushion Man, in which said villain opposes a world composed of inflatable characters. The whole program, about 80 minutes, should be very kid-friendly. (NR) Northwest Film Forum, $6-$8, Sat., Dec. 1, 5 p.m.; Sun., Dec. 2, 5 p.m.

GhoSt The late Patrick Swayze stars in this paranormal romance from 1990, now given a sad new context.

Demi Moore is the love he left behind. Whoopi Goldberg won an Oscar as her helpful medium. (PG-13) Central Cinema, $6-$8, Nov. 30-Dec. 3, 7 p.m. the GoonieS Before he was Sam in the LOTR movies (before he could shave, for that matter), Sean Astin joined fellow child actors including Corey Feldman in the 1985 fantasy-adventure flick The Goonies, hatched by the powerful cartel of Steven Spielberg and Chris Columbus (though directed by Richard Donner). (PG) Egyptian, $8.25, Fri., Nov. 30, 11:59 p.m.; Sat., Dec. 1, 11:59 p.m. harveSt of empire This 90-minute documentary examines immigration policy and the history of Latinos in the U.S. (NR) Keystone Congregational Church, 5019 Keystone Place N., 632-6021, keystoneseattle.org, Free, Fri., Nov. 30, 7 p.m. holiday hiGh noteS Northwest Boychoir will sing a holiday program, accompanied by seasonal film clips, in this mainly musical program (about 50 minutes in length). Northwest Film Forum, $8-$12, Sun., Dec. 2, 1 & 2:30 p.m. it’S Such a Beautiful day It made for a deceptively vital change of context when cult animator Don Hertzfeldt strung together four of his award-winning cartoons into the feature-length portmanteau It’s Such a Beautiful Day. Continuity is key to these shorts, which collectively create a heroic epic out of the violent hallucinatory memories and daydreams of Bill, a depressive and possibly fatally ill stick figure. In the short films Everything Is OK, I Am So Proud of You, and It’s Such a Beautiful Day, Bill’s attempts to process his pain and the inexplicable minutiae of his daily routine allow Hertzfeldt to examine both traumatizing fears of death and the absurd joy of life. Bill thinks about bacteria-infested crotches at the supermarket, sees a dead bird besieged by ants on the sidewalk, passes out with alarming regularity, and remembers the past lives of family members, like the younger, hook-handed brother who died chasing a seagull. And as Bizet, Schumann, Rachmaninoff, and Wagner swell on the soundtrack, and Hertzfeldt’s omniscient but probably not omnipotent narrator lays out events, Bill’s life alternatively shrinks and expands to individual moments that collapse into one another. Warped keyhole-size images stack atop one another in a Frankenstein-ian collage that evokes the films of Terrence Malick, David Lynch, Stan Brakhage, and Bruce Conner. (NR) SIMON ABRAMS Northwest Film Forum, $6-$10, Opens Nov. 30, Fridays, 11 p.m. Through Dec. 14.

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film» Women in the ShadoWS In the 1964 version of

The Killers, not to be confused with the 1946 Burt Lancaster-starring adaptation, here the emphasis is on two hit men (Lee Marvin and Clu Galager) puzzled about their latest assignment (ordered by crime boss Ronald Reagan). John Cassavetes plays the passive victim. Don Siegel directs. (NR) Seattle Art Museum, $63-$68 (series), $8 (individual), Thu., Nov. 29, 7:30 p.m.; Thu., Dec. 6, 7:30 p.m.

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smartly contoured to fit just more than two hours of screen time by Sir Tom Stoppard, responsible for “literate” movies like Shakespeare in Love, as well as the screenplay to R.W. Fassbinder’s clumsy adaptation of Vladimir Nabokov’s Despair, a film that proves the difficulty of moving great art from page to screen.

As Nabokov says, “A tinge of poshlost—the Russian phrase translates roughly as “kitsch”—“is often given by the cinema to the novel it distorts and coarsens in its crooked glass.” As always, wife and young mother, Anna (Keira Knightley) falls madly for a Russian officer, Vronsky (powder-puffed Aaron Taylor-Johnson). The first of this match’s tragic consequences is Vronsky’s jilting of Princess Kitty (Alicia Vikander) who, in the B story, is courted by the surly, shy, and awkward Levin (Domhnall Gleeson). Levin is the bosom friend of Anna’s philandering brother, Oblonsky (Matthew Macfadyen)—prey to the same governing passions as his sister and to none of the social and legal reproach.

The most immediately striking element is the selfconscious theatricality of director Joe Wright’s staging.

Dutiful to the text, the film begins in Oblonsky’s study— but this study is located in the proscenium arch of an empty theater, while an invisible orchestra is heard to tune. Wright misses few opportunities to emphasize the artifice, all in service of a commonplace argument: that life among the aristocratic class of the 19th century was entirely a matter of stagecraft. Thankfully, the men and women populating Wright’s little theater are something more than cutouts. Knightley’s emotions come through with a gasping immediacy, and Jude Law deserves special notice as Anna’s cuckolded husband.

(NR) Nick Pinkerton Seven Gables, Lincoln Square argo Ben Affleck’s third directorial effort begins with the November 4, 1979, attack on the U.S. embassy in Tehran. While 52 Americans are held hostage, six embassy workers manage to escape, ultimately hiding out at the home of Canadian ambassador (Victor Garber). Determined to smuggle the houseguests out of Iran by disguising them as a film crew on a location scout, CIA exfiltration expert Tony Mendez (Affleck) enlists the help of John Chambers (John Goodman), a movie makeup artist, and Lester Siegel (Alan Arkin), an old-school producer. Between hokey wisecracks ribbing industry idiocy, the trio seizes on a dusty script for a Star Wars rip-off called Argo. Affleck’s movie doesn’t reflect who we are now so much as it argues for what Hollywood can be. It’s a love letter from Affleck to the industry that made him, shunned him, and loves nothing more than to be loved. (R) Karina Longworth SIFF Cinema Uptown, Varsity, Lincoln Square, Meridian, Cinebarre, Thornton Place, others the Bourne Legacy The Bourne films have more than just overstayed their welcome and outlasted the Ludlum books—they’ve been Van Halenized, with an abrupt change of front man and a resulting dip in personality. Now we have Jeremy Renner as another Treadstone mega man, and though he is a likable enough pug-nosed action figure, the Damonlessness is sorely felt. Writer-director Tony Gilroy keeps things brisk and relatively smart, but he can’t be surprised if we find the rooftop-’n’-motorcycle chase through Manila a little rote by now. The late-in-the-game introduction of a Bourne 2.0 supervillain feels like outright pandering. But that’s what happens when Hollywood hyperextends a simple paradigm beyond even the patience of the last cast and crew. (PG-13) Michael Atkinson Crest cafÉ de fLore If you don’t have the patience for Cloud Atlas’ six plots in three hours, how about two in two? This mushy, mystical French-Canadian melodrama tries to make parallel a pair of love stories: one between preteens with Down syndrome in 1969 Paris, and the second between a Quebecois DJ and his new amour some 40 years later. How are the two tales related? Don’t reach for your calculator or attempt to pencil a family tree. Writer-director Jean-Marc Vallée (The Young Victoria, C.R.A.Z.Y.) is less concerned with logic than spiritual affinity—and possibly reincarnation, too. (Regular wafts of Pink Floyd and Sigur Rós contribute to the ethereal muddle.) “Do you believe in soul mates?” asks the DJ (Kevin Parent) after he falls

for a tattooed beauty (Evelyne Brochu) at his AA meeting. His marriage is already on the skids, explained by flashbacks extending to the ‘80s, when he met his future wife (Hélène Florent), who believes in past lives.

This portion of Café de Flore—the title comes from a song heard in both halves—is like a story constructed from the perfume ads in Vanity Fair: the emotional problems of shallow, sexy jet-setters. Better are the Parisian travails of a single mother (Vanessa Paradis) whose disabled seven-year-old son becomes attached to a girl in his special ed class. Paradis is both ferocious and exhausted as a hairdresser overwhelmed by her maternal duties. She hasn’t got the time nor the money to indulge in her kid’s puppy love; her frazzled desperation seems real, unlike the DJ’s self-indulgent dilemma. (NR) Brian Miller SIFF Cinema Uptown chaSing ice Jeff Orlowski’s beautiful yet sobering documentary visits the world’s rapidly melting ice caps.

His guide is James Balog, a renowned nature photographer who has become obsessed with documenting the staggering speed with which the icebergs of Greenland, Iceland, and Alaska are crumbling into the sea. Orlowski films as Balog and a small team of young scientists go on a mad mission to embed dozens of time-lapse cameras into the rock walls above various ice fields. Those cameras take one image every hour, and when Balog and his team, known as the “Extreme Ice Survey,” assemble the footage, they discover that glacier fields the size of Lower Manhattan are receding at an astonishing rate. (NR) Chuck Wilson Egyptian

Tom Hanks in one of his Cloud Atlas guises.

cLoud atLaS This gargantuan new movie, based on

David Mitchell’s 2004 novel, took two Wachowskis and Tom Tykwer to direct. Cloud Atlas contains six parallel narratives. Each story comes in and out of view regularly, like figures in a carousel. The same voices and faces—that is, actors—recur in different roles along the timeline. Jim Sturgess dons epicanthic folds and Kyle MacLachlan’s hair in Neo Korea; Halle Berry wears whiteface as the wife of WWII–era Jim Broadbent, etc. It’s tempting to pull for a formally ambitious, queer-friendly, R-rated blockbuster that uses the word “amanuensis” and seems designed to drag viewers into uncomfortable new idioms. There is, however, a viewing experience to consider. Each segment feels like like an extended trailer for itself. Maybe this incompletion is purposeful, but it’s a problem when what’s invariably elided or taken for granted is the very human connection and commiseration that is supposedly the most vital force in the universe. (R) Nick Pinkerton Sundance Cinemas, Meridian, others the darK Knight riSeS A shallow repository of ideas, but also a work of sheer sensation. Christopher Nolan has continued his experimentation with the vast IMAX format, and the sheer mass of it inspires a dull awe. If 2008’s The Dark Knight openly invited reading as the War on Terror Batman, then DKR is the Occupy Wall Street installment. “You think all this can last?” down-and-out cat burglar Selina (Anne Hathaway) says to Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) at a glitzy ball.

Batman’s new rival is the muzzled Bane, whose purr is like Vincent Price talking through a window fan.

Nolan is at his best symphonizing second-unit footage, illustrating how the shock waves of an assault resound

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thrilling immediacy, taking full advantage of 3-D, and culminates with a shot of an underwater Pi gazing at the vessel as it descends to the bottom, its lights twinkling like flickering eyes. Still, the story’s relentless articulation of its thematic aims proves a buzzkill, and the film spoon-feeds rather than enlightens. (PG-13) Nick Schager Sundance, SIFF Cinema Uptown, Pacific Place, Thornton Place, Kirkland, Vashon, Bainbridge, others lincoln Our 16th president becomes an almost 4-D character made flesh by Daniel Day-Lewis, arguably the best actor of his generation. The challenge for director Steven Spielberg is to square the Georgia white marble of the Lincoln Memorial with the fleshand-blood reality we can never really know—evoking the man without diminishing the leader. His other challenges include relating the complications and subtleties of political maneuvering, and the inherent suckiness of the biopic form. Spielberg solves that by lensing the portrait through a single event: the fight to pass the 13th Amendment. The film is studied and often somber, but it is also hugely entertaining, a bitchingly fun story of political gamesmanship, influence trading, patronage, cronyism, and outright bribery. This Lincoln is quietly ironic, an indulgent storyteller, a hugely charismatic leader. Day-Lewis is just crazy good. (PG-13) Chris Packham Alderwood 16, Guild 45th, Kirkland Parkplace, Lincoln Square, Pacific Place, Thornton Place, Lynwood (Bainbridge Is.), others looPEr Early in Rian Johnson’s thriller, Joe (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) sits at a diner and chats with his self from 30 years in the future (Bruce Willis), who tells him not to worry about the particulars of time travel. Looper is more intent on the moral implications of a charged situation grounded in character, and it turns both Joes loose to make their own life-altering choices. Thrilling in its deft juggling of complex narrative elements, utterly clear in its presentation and unfolding with what feels like serious moral purpose, Looper favors the human scale over abstract philosophizing or meta-cinematic frippery.

For Johnson, the inveterate pasticheur, it qualifies as a significant step forward. (R) Andrew Schenker Crest, Admiral PErks of BEing a WallfloWEr Perks, written and directed by Stephen Chbosky from his 1999 young-adult novel, is set in 1991. But period particulars seem secondary on Chbosky’s list of priorities.

Charlie (Logan Lerman), a shy-fox 14-year-old with a history of depression, makes it through his freshman year by clinging to the alterna-clique spearheaded

by Edie-esque Sam (Emma Watson) and her swish stepbrother Patrick (Ezra Miller). Charlie loves Sam, who is sorta spoken for by a boho college douche.

Chbosky plays this CW serial stuff for maximum earnestness. And then comes the plot twist, which recasts the film’s plaintive portrait of Charlie’s freefloating anxiety and sexual weirdness as Not His Fault. (PG-13) Karina Longworth Harvard Exit rEd daWn Single-mindedly action-oriented to the point where John Milius’ original seems ruminative, this new Red Dawn is handled by promoted stunt coordinator Dan Bradley, whose highest accomplishment here is the heroes’ initial escape through an invading North Korean army’s tightening roadblocks. The sequence rides on snap-decision adrenal instinct, with Matt (Josh Peck) off-roading the family’s Dodge Ram around backyard pools and the disjointed, dashed-off design of the scene fitting the total disorientation of the experience. But once America falls and Matt’s brother Jed (Chris Hemsworth) and his nascent Pacific Northwest insurgency—called the Wolverines, after the brothers’ high school football team--has been battle-tested and born again hard, Bradley sticks to the same “film the hell out of everything and hope it all shakes out in the editing booth” approach. What should be Red Dawn’s centerpiece—the Wolverines’ tactical assault on a police station that the occupying forces have converted into their headquarters—is scarcely more legible than the first panicked moments of takeover.

It’s no surprise to learn that North Korea is a hasty, post-production substitution for the Chinese who, in the movie as initially scripted and shot, had come to collect on the U.S.’s massive overdue debt. Soon Hollywood will have perfected the art of movies that batter no one’s sensibilities, except that tiny minority who have a shred of aesthetic discrimination. (PG-13) Nick Pinkerton Alderwood 16, Sundance, Lincoln Square, Crossroads, Meridian, Cinebarre, others

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across the infrastructure of an entire city. As always, all of the on-the-nose speechifying keeps the movies running long, while the drum-tight rule of schematic relevance shuts out anything resembling wit, spontaneity, and recognizable human conduct. (PG-13) Nick Pinkerton Crest End of Watch In David Ayer’s End of Watch, one gets the sense of a skilled craftsman who has learned everything he knows about the ‘hood not from firsthand experience but from going to the movies. And so it is that the daily routine of two street cops (Jake Gyllenhaal and Michael Peña) includes encounters with drug-addled parents, a nightgown-clad black mother screaming “My babies! My babies!” in front of her burning house, and Latina gang girls who cackle as they kill. As social insight, End of Watch is useless, but as engrossing entertainment, it’s irresistible. (R) Chuck Wilson Admiral flight In this fine, melancholy character study, William “Whip” Whitaker (Denzel Washington) wakes after a bender and gets ready for work with a snort of coke. Then he swaggers into the cockpit of his passenger jet. When the plane goes into a sudden free fall, he improvises a miraculous plan that brings craft and passengers down more or less safely. Later, in order to hush up a medical report of Whip’s potent bloodalcohol level, Hugh Lang (Don Cheadle), is brought in to do damage control with union rep (Bruce Greenwood).

Also “helping” is Whip’s dealer, played with dirtbag bonhomie by John Goodman. Calm and chaos commingle beautifully in the crash-landing set piece as handled by director Robert Zemeckis. Zemeckis hasn’t lost his touch with actors; he coaches Washington into one of those rare performances that suggests much more than it shows. (R) Nick Pinkerton Alderwood 16, Lincoln Square, Majestic Bay, Bainbridge, Cinebarre, Pacific Place, Thornton Place, others frankEnWEEniE With Frankenweenie, Tim Burton adapts his own work—the 1984 animated short he produced for Disney. When his weenie dog Sparky is killed by a car, young Victor Frankenstein is inspired by his new science teacher to generate some impressive innovations in the untapped field of reanimation.

Victor (voiced by Charlie Tahan) intends to submit his reassembled and electrically resurrected dog at his school’s science fair, but he’s actually motivated by a broken heart. The dog is great. Sparky isn’t a cartoon character as much as a behaviorally accurate little canine. The script by Lenny Ripps from Burton’s original story, is tight and brief, hitting all the marks you’d expect from an animated kid’s film, and it’s all enlivened

by Burton’s visual style. The man should make more small movies like this one. (PG) Chris Packham Crest a latE QuartEt In this affecting mixed bag of a movie, a string quartet’s future is thrown into question after the cellist (Christopher Walken) is diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease and the two married members’ relationship (Catherine Keener and Philip Seymour Hoffman) begins to unravel. Always stately, occasionally stuffy, Yaron Zilberman’s chamber drama expresses every real-world problem via musical metaphors and is prone to occasional bouts of grandiosity.

This tonal back-and-forth is in some ways reflective of the group’s music but impedes us from getting a meaningful hold on what these people are feeling and why we should care. It’s something of a relief that little is actually resolved in Quartet; Zilberman is at his best when leaving narrative threads hanging rather than trying to tie them together. (R) Michael Nordine Crest lifE of Pi A stacked-deck theological inquiry filtered through a spectacular Titanic-by-way-of–Slumdog Millionaire narrative, Life of Pi manages occasional spiritual wonder through its 3-D visuals but otherwise sinks like a stone. It’s no shock that Ang Lee brings to his high seas adventure graceful and refined aesthetics devoid of any unique signature or pressing emotion, as the director has proved himself a skillful craftsman without an imprimatur to call his own. Here, that anonymity results in slavish, proficient devotion to his source material, Yann Martel’s 2001 novel. The story concerns the upbringing of Pi (newcomer Suraj Sharma) in India, his unbelievable experiences surviving a shipwreck aboard a life raft also occupied by a Bengal tiger, and his post-rescue efforts to convince Japanese officials that his tale is true—a three-part structure that’s framed by the adult Pi (Irrfan Khan), recounting his tale to a nameless Writer (Rafe Spall). A struggling Caucasian American novelist who has been told that Pi’s saga will convince him of God’s existence, the Writer—who looks like he just came from a Banana Republic modeling shoot—is a colonialist appropriator of Pi’s story, which he plans to turn into his own novel. Lee ignores such thorny sociopolitical dynamics, opting instead to couch this framework as further proof of the divine magic of storytelling. Lee stages the freighter’s demise with a

25

film» Rise of the GuaRdians If you completely unpack

the plot of Peter Ramsey’s sweet, fun Rise of the Guardians, it’s a hierarchical set of nested lies: A bunch of sprite-like beings who, in real life, we’ve fabricated to trick children, are, for movie purposes, actually real. But they will vanish in puffs of rationality if children stop believing in them. So the selfreinforcing work of these mythical beings is to kindle widespread belief in their own existence (i.e., lies).

Jack Frost (Chris Pine), the hoodie-wearing hero, has the terrifying ability to accelerate entropy and therefore hasten the heat death of the universe—or, in the comforting parlance of children’s stories, he nips noses with frosty mischief. Jack coexists in the same world as Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy, and the old sleepy-time sandman, collectively known as the Guardians, a coalition of powerful beings kind of like the Avengers or Damn Yankees. Happily, the film skews away from the established templates for these archetypes. (Santa Claus apparently isn’t in the business of rendering Manichean judgments on the behavior of children.) Based on illustrator William Joyce’s book The Guardians of Childhood, the film continues the migration of Dreamworks Animation away from broad jokes and obvious pop-culture references in favor of something more enduring. (PG) Chris Packham Kirkland, Cinebarre, Bainbridge, Lincoln Square, others a Royal affaiR The way to a queen’s heart is through Rousseau in A Royal Affair, in which church and state oppression can’t, at least for a time, quell enlightenment urges. From prostitute trysts and physicianconducted crotch examinations to wild-stallion rides through the lush countryside, everything is eroticized in Nikolaj Arcel’s historical drama about the illicit affair between Caroline (Alicia Vikander)—sent from London to Denmark to marry bonkers King Christian VII (Mikkel Boe Folsgaard)—and the free-thinking doctor Struensee (Mads Mikkelsen) who serves as His Majesty’s personal physician. Bonded by progressive notions of a free press and peasant rights, their amour defies the status quo as much as their ideals do, and in the face of a religious and ruling establishment uninterested in political change, their passion and principles

inevitably spell their doom. With compelling authority, Mikkelsen embodies Struensee with a conviction colored by reckless arrogance, and while Vikander comes off as a rather bland object of his affection, Folsgaard, all closed-mouth giggles and random outbursts of an inappropriate sexual and artistic nature, exudes royal lunacy. Director Arcel handles the material with a stately grace that compensates for the story’s predictable trajectory, though humdrum period detail and monotonous pacing too often leave the proceedings feeling only partially aroused. (NR) Nick Schager Harvard Exit samsaRa Directed by Ron Fricke, this New Age followup to 1992’s Baraka zigzags through 25 countries in ravishing Super Panavision 70. Samsara plumbs its conceit—the Buddhist/ Hindu notion of cosmic cyclicity and earthly suffering—with a visual panache that short-circuits the need for narrative discipline. From corporeal subjects in an t h i S co d e Ethiopian village and a São to download the FRee Paulo cathedral to inanimate Seattle weekly relics on Turkey’s Mount iPhone/andRoid aPP Nemrut and the devastated FoR moRe Film oR viSit Ninth Ward of New Orleans, seattleweekly.com the film’s imagery is epic and trance-inducing. However, while civilization’s hyper-mechanized Malthusian horror show is captured with inventive flare (a mass dance sequence in a Filipino prison is a stunning highlight), but Samsara is undercut by an underlying smugness and complementary mush-brained Eastern fetishism. (NR) Mark Holcomb Admiral the sessions “You were really and truly inside me,” Helen Hunt’s sex surrogate Cheryl assures her client, the poet and journalist Mark O’Brien (John Hawkes), who’s confined to an iron lung. Similarly, Ben Lewin’s The Sessions hopes to penetrate viewers deeply, hitting its uplift beats hard. O’Brien, who died in 1999, is

Scan

depicted as an inveterate charmer; he seeks the solace of a longhair, cig-puffing priest (William H. Macy), who blesses the transactions with Cheryl. Hawkes and Hunt nobly tackle the physical demands their roles require. (R) Melissa Anderson Sundance silveR lininGs Playbook If you took the fighting out of The Fighter, David O. Russell’s previous movie, you’d be left with a close, fractious family like the Solitanos of his hugely appealing new Silver Linings Playbook (based on Matthew Quick’s novel). Instead of Boston Irish and boxing, we have Philadelphia Italian and the Eagles. The family patriarch (a fine, restrained Robert De Niro) is an OCD bookie bound by strange rituals to the team; his wide-eyed wife (Australian actress Jacki Weaver of Animal Kingdom) is the nervous family conciliator/enabler; and their volatile son Pat (Bradley Cooper, wired) is fresh out of the nuthouse with a restraining order from his ex.

Pat’s most recent violent outburst has the cops and neighbors suspicious, but he claims he’s a new—and newly positive—man. He’s looking for those silver linings through self-improvement: reading, running, losing weight, scheming to win back his wife (this last in complete disregard of family and medical advice).

His obsession frightens his parents and frightens us—is another explosion near? Russell keeps the film constantly off-balance, with a worryingly erratic tone that sprints from comedy to chaos and back within most every scene. But his pell-mell approach suits the story of Pat’s mania and wrong-footed romance with young widow Tiffany. In that role, Jennifer Lawrence is a revelation: tough, proud, and even more titanic in her instability than Pat. But the difference is this: She knows she’s unstable, while Pat clings to his optimistic routine. Her darkness complements his sunny denial.

Russell builds their uncertain courtship toward a Christmas conclusion, daring us to imagine the worst during this holiday-movie season, yet reassuring us it won’t happen. Silver Linings is one of the year’s best films, and Lawrence a lock for an Oscar nomination.

(R) Brian Miller Sundance, Oak Tree, Lincoln Square, Pacific Place skyfall Daniel Craig’s satisfying third Bond film aims to flesh out the backstory of the spy, with the globe-trot-

•

ting terrorist hunt leading to the site of 007’s childhood trauma. Bopping from Shanghai to Macao, Bond gets up to the usual daring escapes and zipless nightcaps.

The greatest gift director Sam Mendes brings to the material is staging and imagery that artfully amplify the film’s ideas about the world in which all of this is happening. Bond’s domain is now muddied, as established institutions find themselves crippled (and, perhaps worse, rendered foolish) by stateless entities and cyber terrorists. An MI6 bureaucrat (Ralph Fiennes), trying to grasp the age of Anonymous, contends that the agency “can’t keep working in the shadows—there are no shadows.” It’s a POV contested by the film’s most visually stunning action scene, set in a darkened Shanghai skyscraper, with Bond and the bad guy silhouetted against the neon lights and video billboards outside.

(PG-13) Karina Longworth Alderwood 16, Big Picture, Sundance, Bainbridge, Big Picture, Woodinville, Kirkland, Lincoln Square, Majestic Bay, Cinebarre, Cinerama, Pacific Place, Thornton Place, others theateRs: Admiral, 2343 California Ave. SW, 938-3456;

Big Picture, 2505 First Ave., 256-0566; Big Picture Redmond, 7411 166th Ave. NE, 425-556-0566; Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave., 686-6684; Cinebarre, 6009 SW 244th St. (Mountlake Terrace)., 425-672-7501; Cinerama, 2100 Fourth Ave., 448-6680; Crest, 16505 Fifth Ave. NE, 781-5755; Egyptian, 801 E. Pine St., 781-5755; Grand Illusion, 1403 NE 50th St., 523-3935; Guild 45, 2115 N. 45th St., 781-5755; Harvard Exit, 807 E. Roy St., 7815755; iPic Theaters, 16451 N.E. 74th St. (Redmond), 425-636-5601; Kirkland Parkplace, 404 Park Place, 425-827-9000; Lincoln Square, 700 Bellevue Way N, 425-454-7400; Majestic Bay, 2044 NW Market St., 7812229; Meridian, 1501 Seventh Ave., 223-9600; Metro, 4500 Ninth Ave. NE, 781-5755; Northwest Film Forum, 1515 12th Ave., 267-5380; Oak Tree, 10006 Aurora Ave. N, 527-1748; Pacific Place, 600 Pine St., 888-262-4386; Seven Gables, 911 NE 50th St., 781-5755; SIFF Cinema Uptown, 511 Queen Anne Ave. N., 324-9996; SIFF Film Center, 305 Harrison St. (Seattle Center), 324-9996; Sundance Cinemas, 4500 Ninth Ave NE, 633-0059; Thornton Place, 301 NE 103rd St., 517-9953; Varsity, 4329 University Way NE, 781-5755.

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food&drink»

Cake, Baby

Atop Queen Anne, a delicious slice of Dixie.

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By Hanna Raskin

Kevin P. Casey

here’s a bus stop on Grub’s corner of upper Queen Anne, so Route 4 drivers occasionally have a chance to idle in front of the charmingly homespun restaurant and peer inside its framed glass windows. Grub must cut a handsome figure from a distance: With its yellowish lighting, gilt-framed mirrors, and multigenerational crowd, the brick-faced restaurant molts warmth and contentment.

When I was last seated nearest the street, a bus driver who’d paused for a pickup scanned the scene and waved.

I’ll confess: I didn’t wave back. I was at the moment totally absorbed by the slab of coconut cake before me. Sharon Fillingim, the industry lifer (Jimmy’s Table, Cool Hand Luke) behind the 2-month-old restaurant, is an astoundingly talented baker who last stamped the neighborhood with Le Rêve, source of Queen Anne’s best kouign-amman.

Got Your Ice Cold NuGrape”), and the art of At Grub, Fillingim prepares cakes and pies making people feel at ease around a table. without French pretensions. But sophisticaGrub’s the kind of neighborhood restaurant tion is the only thing used restrainedly in her where diners show up in yoga clothes and rollicking butter concertos. share a carafe of red wine. It’s no wonder the The coconut cake is served sliced-side-up bus driver wanted in. and lashed with a dollop of snow-white fresh whipped cream so substantial it’s not clear whether the cake or the cream is the supoth times I dined at Grub, most porting actor. The first forkful settles it: The of its 38 seats—a tasteful mix of phenomenally moist two-layer cake has a metal draftsman’s chairs and faint citric brightness, as though it had been lime-green molded plastic ones— blotted with lemonade. Atop and between were taken, adding noisy hilltop spirit to a the loose-crumbed layers is a thick frosting of space that’s sparsely decorated. The bareshredded coconut that impressively sidesteps floored room is furnished with wooden the too-sweet zone. It’s a great cake. tables, a specials chalkboard, and small Coconut cake has special significance in lettered wall tiles spelling the restaurant’s the South, where women’s-club hierarchies name. There’s not much action at the woodand supper invitations have been known to planked bar, although a server predicted ride on its execution. In an era when restauthat might change when Grub gets the gorants across the country are making room ahead to pour hard liquor. on their menus for fried green tomatoes and Grub is open for dinner on Fridays and country ham, Grub is remarkably reticent Saturdays, but the restaurant’s wheelhouse is about its Dixie leanings. Fillingim describes weeknights. There’s a full-fledged children’s her cuisine as reflecting “a menu, with cheesed-up strong influence of differnoodles, hot dogs, and ent cultures and a variety grilled chicken instead of » price guide Kale salad ................................ $8 of blended flavors,” which nuggets, and orders are Feta caKe ................................ $10 explains all the feta. But filled so quickly that I’m chicKen .................................... $16 steaK .......................................... $27 Grub feels Southern in a still baffled by how the PorK choP ............................... $14 way that eludes the Johnny kitchen found time to overMac and cheese .................. $10 caKe .............................................. $6 Rebs-come-lately. While cook a pork chop. Prices you can assemble a classiare also extraordinarily cally Southern meal here reasonable: Half a chicken with very little effort—it was only between costs $16, and all but five of the 17 bottles of courses of mac and cheese and fried chicken wine listed are priced under $30. that I realized what I’d done—the South is Patrons grateful to be relieved of cooking deeper in the restaurant’s bones. Although chores are unlikely to find fault with anything Fillingim is a Seattle native whose father ran Grub serves, but the restaurant has a few a restaurant at the World’s Fair, she has an entrée issues. The pork chop’s glistening sear intuitive grasp of greens, fresh ingredients, looked gorgeous, and an accompanying redNuGrape (the Atlanta soda pop immortalized pepper romesco was appropriately feisty. But in the NuGrape Twins’ 1926 recording of “I the flavorful meat was disappointingly dry. A

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Se attle weekly • NOVEMBER 28− DECEMBER 4, 2012

grilled rib-eye, drippy with beefy juices, had Sharon Fillingim makes cakes from a tougher chew than the cow’s raising could coconut (top) and feta. explain away, and a fried chicken which might have had its crunchy, teak-colored coat applied with a spray gun was so overcooked rather than inundating it, in the manner of so that only the dark meat was worth broaching. many macs which are supposed to comfort.

I had better luck with a pan-seared salmon, There are four salads on Grub’s menu, all its shiny, salted skin partially obscured by an excellent. A simple green salad is elevated oily salsa verde of fresh herbs. If a version of by the addition of sliced fennel and wispy the dish appeared on the children’s menu, it fennel fronds, while toasted hazelnuts and could probably be used to teach colors: The farro lend a Pacific Northwest earthiness to a stunning plate was completed by bright-red tropical-leaning collage of spinach, avocados, grape tomatoes, pink-rimmed radish discs, and grapefruit segments, and a sunny citrus vineye-poppingly orange carrot slices. Vegetables aigrette. But the best is the brawny kale salad, are treated well at Grub, where even the tragic with leaves just tender enough to contrast chicken’s joined by a clump of terrific braised with the clout of roasted cauliflower florets greens soaked with vinegar. Buttery mashed potatoes flecked with red skins and a tumble of sautéed Grub’s the kind of squash disappeared long before neighborhood restaurant where their plate’s anchoring steak. diners show up in yoga clothes Fortunately, it’s easy to stay the and share a carafe of red wine. herbivore course here, especially if you’re not wedded to the notion of supper as one big plate. Consider instead a grilled feta cake appetizer, which and firm chickpeas. Bathed in a lemon-tahini isn’t remotely cakey in the traditional sense. vinaigrette, the salad’s so good that when our The plug of cheese is neither breaded nor otherwise flawless server brought it instead of rounded, but sits, tangy and melty, in the centhe salad we’d ordered, I very nearly kept it. ter of a plateful of roasted vegetables. The dish After vegetables, there’s fruit, includis served with two griddled slices of bread, ing apple pie, blueberry pie, and—on lucky which are necessary, and doodled with sweet nights—peach pie, yet another unheralded balsamic sauce, which isn’t. The onions, tomaregionalism that at Grub becomes a universal toes, and zucchini, which could have come symbol of genuine neighborly hospitality. straight from a farmers-market tote, are plenty Y’all come in and have a slice. E flavorful without the retrograde garnish. hraskin@seattleweekly.com The mac and cheese is a fine follow-up for the vegetable starter. Although the stanGrub dard version is topped with tiny crisped bits 7 Boston St., 216-3628, letsgogrub.com. of bacon, what makes the dish—built on a 11 a.m.–3 p.m. & 5–9 p.m. Tues.–Thurs.; humble base of elbow noodles—is the sharp 11 a.m.–3 p.m. & 5–10 p.m. Fri.; 8 a.m.–3 p.m. & cheddar sauce, which lightly cloaks the pasta 5–10 p.m. Sat.; 8 a.m.–3 p.m. Sun.

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The Watering Hole: Clever Bottle, 2222 Second Ave., Suite 100, 915-2220, BELLTOWN The Atmosphere: Clever Bottle is located on that block of Second Avenue that includes Mama’s, the Croc, Shorty’s, and Tula’s. It’s packed at happy hour, and for good reason: There’s a cocktail special for $7, small plates, and a handful of wine options.

Small groups appear to be meeting before dinner or a show on the rainy Monday night I grab a stool at the bar. The area is pretty bright—not a place for brooding, but a great place for people-watching.

Dusty, empty bottles line shelves on the walls, candles flicker on tables, and exposed-filament bulbs hang from the ceiling. While I wait for my companion to arrive, it strikes me that with all the plaid shirts and attractive 20-somethings here, all I’d need is a Nick Drake soundtrack to feel like I was in a Jetta commercial.

The Barkeep: I have time to observe the bartender, Katy Gentry, who’s waiting tables, mixing drinks, and cooking (snack plates are quickly assembled behind the bar, and any hot dishes are warmed in a toaster oven). A friend of Gentry’s owns Clever Bottle, and bartending there is a great gig while Gentry attends grad school. The willowy blond is getting her master’s in psychology, and says the job provides interesting opportunities for human observation.

The Drink: The shelves at Clever Bottle appear sparse at first, but what they do stock, they put to good use. There’s fig-infused bourbon, smoked sea salt, serrano chile-infused Cocchi Americano, housemade ginger beer and bitters, and jasmine-

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is perhaps the most design-conscious taco truck to ever hit the road. Not only is the name printed in sans-serif font instead of painted in wavery cursive, but the truck has clean picnic tables and a photocopied menu. The taco-truck-newbie-friendly touches

» by sonja groset

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622-8717. Chuck Forsyth, founder of this tiny lunch spot, was a championship smoker who earned a long row of prize ribbons. Though Chuck passed away a few years back, his son John still recreates those recipes, smoking the brisket nice and slow over hickory, making the chili easy on the black beans and heavy on the ground beef, and blending up Chuck’s trademark Bullwhacker sauce—not too sweet, just deep and rich—with some secret Seattle magic: coffee. $ Grand CenTraL BaKinG Company 214 First Ave. S., 622-3644. The Grand Central storefront may be tiny, but every day its fan base of lunchers and pastry-lovers fills the vaulted brick entryway out front. It’s not just the bread that inspires devotion.

Grand Central also makes its sandwiches with local, sustainably raised products like summer tomatoes and Beecher’s cheese press-grilled between slices of olive bread, and a portabella banh mi on an airy Bolo roll. $ mae phim Thai resTauranT 94 Columbia St., 624-2979. Look up hole-in-the-wall in the dictionary, and you’ll find a picture of this teensy lunch joint between Western and First. Despite its lack of anything that could be called a frill, the place is always completely packed at lunch hour. Everybody in the neighborhood loves Mae Phim’s yummy phad

ChuCK’s hoLe in The WaLL BBQ 215 James St.,

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4460. This intimate place, decorated with fish prints, is Magnolia’s neighborhood Thai spot. The menu runs the gamut from tangy, delicious tom kah soup to sweet, spicy forest curry and an incendiary basil rice. With the exception of an exceptional papaya salad, it’s pretty typical neighborhood Thai fare. $ LiTTLe ChinooK’s Fish & Chips 1900 W. Nickerson St. (Fisherman’s Terminal), 283-4665. Little Chinook’s is cavernous and noisy, but that doesn’t deter those in search of fresh oysters in the winter and wild blackberry cobbler year round. The staff promptly appears with baby booster chairs and Red Hook pours alike. An extensive menu with fishermen’s cioppino, five variations on the Caesar, crab cakes, and (of course) fish ‘n’ chips will have your relatives from Milwaukee enthused. Treat yourself afterward to the delectable desserts, such as bread pudding or Bailey’s chocolate mousse. Maybe you’ll share. Then again, maybe you won’t. $$

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extend to black beans on the lunch plates, pico de gallo on the tacos instead of just onions and cilantro, and a diner’s choice of salsas. El Camión’s carnitas won’t be porky enough for some, and the mole too sweet, but several of the tacos will set your mouth abuzz: moist, spice-covered pork adobada; tender tripe with its echo of toasted almonds; and a rich mess of fish griddled up with chopped red cabbage and white sauce (OK, mayonnaise). $

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$ = $25 or less per person; $$ = $25–$40; $$$ = $40 and up.

These capsule reviews are written by editorial staff and have nothing to do with advertising. For hundreds more reviews, searchable by neighborhood and type of cuisine, go to seattleweekly.com/food.

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The perfect gig for a psych major.

infused gin. Clever Bottle also offers “Local Liquor Tuesday,” featuring a $5 cocktail using a local spirit and a local liquor flight for $25, which includes ounce-and-a-half pours from three local distilleries plus various mixers. When I ask Gentry for a drink, without skipping a beat she brings a spicy serrano/ peach cocktail—made with the infused Cocchi, mezcal, lime juice, and peach nectar.

The Verdict: A little bit spicy, a touch smoky, with just the right amount of sweetness, the drink is warming but still refreshing and highly quaffable. It’s kind of a bold choice, since, as with Scotch, not everyone is a fan of mezcal.

“Many people say they want anything,” Gentry says, “but what they really want is a Cosmo.”

Gentry, however, likes to challenge patrons with something they’d never order, figuring that if she loves it, they will too. E food@seattleweekly.com

FRESH FRESH

food&drink»Featured Eats Thai, bathing Rama, and other classics so much that they’re willing to either squish in or wait out on the sidewalk. $

Queen Anne

5 Spot 1502 Queen Anne Ave. N., 285-7768. The

culinary focus of this Americana tribute restaurant changes every three months, so don’t get too hooked on the chicken-fried steak. But while the menu and decor sway with the season’s theme, the quality of the upscale diner fare at 5 Spot is remarkably consistent. While the burgers and ice cream sundaes make the most sense at lunchtime, Queen Anne residents’ adoration for the cheery restaurant is so intense that they queue for brunch, dinner and a seat at the circular bar. $$ peSo’S Kitchen and Lounge 605 Queen Anne Ave. N., 283-9353. While many of Peso’s patrons are busier feasting on sexy singles opportunities than on the nuevo-Mexican fare, the Queen Anne mainstay doesn’t coast on atmosphere and wellmixed margaritas alone. The crowd, heavy on the preternaturally tan post-Greek-system contingent, goes for the carnitas (tender sautéed pork cubes in a sauce only Seattleites would deem spicy) and scrumptious grilled prawn fajitas, while the spicy ahi tuna and cucumber tostada is a perennial favorite. It ain’t down-home Gordito’s, and it’s certainly not the place to go for muy auténtico menudo, but Peso’s is sure to satisfy those who want a savory something to go with their cocktail. $$

RAinieR VAlley

Fana’S cuiSine 3621 33rd Ave. S., 708-7417. Eritrean

and Mediterranean cuisines naturally go together— the Italians colonized Eritrea for decades—so it’s no surprise to find both doro wot and pasta with

ALittLeRAskin » by hanna raskin

Seoul Asylum

We Ship We Ship WeSeafood Ship Seafood Overnight Overnight Seafood Overnight Anywhere in thein USA Anywhere the Anywhere in theUSA USA WePack Pack or for We Pack for or or We for Air Travel Air TravelAir Travel

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Watching cooks bustle among woks and steamers and hearing the passing raves by sated customers is fun—many regulars wouldn’t sit anywhere but the counter. Try the Black Pearl special chow mein.

These homemade, hand-rolled noodles distinguish Black Pearl from other Chinese restaurants. $ Mona’S BiStro and Lounge 6421 Latona Ave. N.E., 526-1188. This low-lit bistro has the fancycasual thing down pat: blood-red walls, a panEuro menu, and a knack for attracting couples.

Entertainment comes in the form of live jazz and acoustic folk four nights a week. Just off Green Lake, the lounge couples upscale Mediterranean fare with a handful of fresh and local signature cocktails, a half-dozen taps and an extensive wine list. The pork loin saltimbocca is popular, and Mona’s molten chocolate cake is one of the best in town. $$ SunLight caFe 6403 Roosevelt Way N.E., 522-9060. Here’s who shouldn’t go to the Sunlight: people who think the 1960s should be forgotten, who get upset by alfalfa sprouts, or who think tofu is a fourletter word. Whole-grain hotcakes, veggie scrambles, big ol’ sandwiches on housemade bread, and blackbean burritos are delicious. Like all old-time hippie fare, food at the Sunlight is very filling. $

to expand the U.S. market for its edible exports by showcasing ways chili sauce and tofu can fit into standard Western cookery.

Korean flavors have already made inroads on some local non-Korean menus: Kwan cites Ray’s Boathouse and Salty’s as restaurants serving plates with evident Korean influences. “Every time I see that, I’m very happy,” Kwan says.

Moreover, the drive to cultivate domestic appetites for Korean ingredients has intensified since a free-trade agreement between the U.S. and South Korea took effect earlier this year.

Seattle is an anticipated locus of trade activity because it’s the U.S. city closest to South Korea by air.

“I think Washington is a very strategically significant place for us,” Kwan says.

In preparation for the competition, Kwan and Park introduced culinary students to the ingredients they’d be expected to use. Kwan said many of them had never before sampled kimchi.

“Some of them liked it,” she says diplomatically.

But the students excelled at the assignment, weaving kimchi into collards on a Southernstyle pork plate and frying kimchi with rice for a salmon entrée which tasted as though it could be a best seller at any casual family restaurant.

“They’re creative,” Kwan says. “They localize, they modernize.”

The winning dishes, created by a Le Cordon Bleu team, will be served at the korean Food Festival on December 4.

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Se attle weekly • NOVEMBER 28− DECEMBER 4, 2012

The South Korean consulate in Seattle typically holds its meetings in large hotels, where house rules prohibit clients from bringing in outside food. That means it’s up to consulate staffers to brief the hotel’s catering department on the bean paste and kimchi essential for traditional korean dishes.

“Sometimes you try to give recipes and help with how to cook, but it’s kind of hard because it’s their first time (working with Korean ingredients),” vice consul Da Eun Kwan explains.

To ensure that the next generation of commercial chefs is better acquainted with the building blocks of Korean cuisine, the Consulate General recently invited teams from local culinary schools to participate in a cooking competition sponsored by the South Korean Department of Agriculture. Seven teams from four schools vied for a $1,000 scholarship and the chance to serve their three-course menu at a banquet next month.

While the teams were judged—by Rachel Yang of Joule and Revel, Heong Soon Park of Chan, and me—partly on their ability to innovate within established Korean idioms, contest organizers hope students will retain their new knowledge of Korean flavors no matter where they end up working. Although Korean food is still considered exotic by many Americans, despite trend-watchers’ yearly predictions that the nation’s on the brink of going gaga for grilled red meat and nutritious pickles, South Korea hopes

marinara sauce on the menu. There’s also a Fan burger, a Fan burrito, and hummus, which take the eclectic neighborhood-cafe thing a tad too far. Put your hand over that side of the menu and keep your eyes focused on the Eritrean food: a stew, some sauteed beef tibbs, and a vegetable combo will get you a platter the size of a Formula 400 tire decorated with a colorful, symmetrical pattern of dabs of highly spiced things to eat with your fingers. $

ALASKA KING TROLL SALMON

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food&drink»Featured Eats univerSity DiStrict

by its appeal the old-school way: a 1950s soundtrack; a no-nonsense, no-frills order-at-the-counter M.O.; a straightforward menu of burgers and fish; and a very generous pricing scheme. Take the King Lou burger: Tucked inside a sesame-seed bun that’s roughly as big as Rhode Island are three burger patties, a heaping pile of fried ham, some bacon slices, a pool of cheese, and that hard-to-define mess known as “the works.” Fries are of the handcut, slightly soggy variety. Throw in a medium drink, and the whole deal will only set you back $9.49, tax included. $ elo’s Philly Grill 3431 Airport Way S., 467-8989.

With an awesome, humongous marquee and honest-to-Pete blue-collar location, it’s really a shame that the steak sandwiches here aren’t mouthwatering. But they’re serviceable, anyway, and in this part of SoDo, any place that beats the gut truck or brown bag is going to ring it in at the register. $ Pecos Pit BBQ 2260 First Ave. S., 623-0629. With a three-decade history of smoking meat, Pecos Pit is one of the city’s most successful barbecue joints— a distinction which speaks to Seattleites’ fondness for sauce. The sandwiches here are astonishingly sloppy. It makes no difference whether you order pork or beef, since you’re bound to taste nothing but sauce (which isn’t quite as hot as the counter staffers say.) There isn’t much in the way of sides, but there’s no shortage of sauce. $

hidden sausage stand, run by two German brothers, is the city’s best spot for Berliner currywurst, or brats with sweet curry ketchup. While the deepfried schnitzel isn’t anything to reorder, the owners bake their soft pretzels to order, roast almonds inhouse and stuff them into paper cones, and slowly braise the sharp tang out of their sauerkraut. Both the white and red brats come stuffed into fat little rolls, and their skin pops like a ripe apple when you bite into it. $ a BurGer Place 4234 University Way N.E., 5475096. A Burger Place is DIY; customers check boxes on the menu to custom-fill sesame buns with traditional beef patties, chicken breast, salmon or ricebased garden patties, and a slew of standard toppings, some of which cost extra. The result is simple, familiar, and not overly greasy. A Burger Place’s fries are blah, even though they come regular, curly, or steak-sized; its onion rings, however, supply a goodly crunch. $ BurGerMaster 3040 N.E. 45th St., 525-7100.

Compared to Dick’s, t h i S co d e Burgermaster is a Seattle to download the FRee institution that gets very Seattle weekly little love. And yet, there’s iPhone/andRoid aPP a lot to love at the Burg, FoR moRe ReStauRantS oR viSit namely its famously seattleweekly.com diverse menu, delicious Swedish pancakes, car window service (at some locations, anyway) and the sneeze guard on the salad bar. $ Marlai thai 3719 N.E. 45th St., 523-3200. A giant, inlaid-wood statue in the center of the room, rosecolored walls, orchids on every table, occasional visits from a piano player: Marlai Thai is definitely Thai in the opulent manner of the 1980s. Its clien-

By’s Drive-in 2901 Fourth Ave. S., 622-9901. By’s comes

South Park

Muy Macho Mexican Grill 8515 14th Ave. S.,

Seattle weekly • NO VE MBER 28− DECE MBER 4, 2012

763-3484. One of the first taco trucks in Seattle to graduate up, this under-the-radar taqueria in South Park is vividly adorned with murals and photos of Zapatista soldiers, and the menu sticks to basic south-of-the-border soul food, a fresh and hearty mix of Baja- and Guadalajara-style selections. Traditional meals like the pozole and menudo provide homemade flavor, and the carnitas is supremely porky, but it’s the burritos, platters, and tortas that are destined to be the highlight of any visit. $

30

Bratz 4759 Brooklyn Ave. NE, 523-1680. This half-

Scan

tele, as befits the Laurelhurst setting, tends toward the geriatric, and the spicing has been scaled back and coconut-milk-amplified to suit their tastes.

That said, the Penang curry with beef is notable for being not too sweet, the vegetarian options are numerous (try the tofu with black pepper and garlic), and the salad of chicken and pistachios on rice noodles is a delicious union of Thai, Vietnamese, and Western flavors. $$ PortaGe Bay cafe 4130 Roosevelt Way N.E., 5478230. There’s something about this spot in the U District that makes it feel as if the sun’s always shining. Maybe it’s the expansive topping bar that lets you put the final touches on your breakfast dish, or the organic menu that keeps guilt out of your morning indulgence. But no matter what dragged you in (and kept you waiting in the winding line outside), Portage Bay’s innovative twist on breakfast classics will make the trek more than worth it. With thick slices of French toast, pancakes, tangy benedicts, spicy herb-roasted potatoes, and chorizo sausages, the list of food choices is long and the unique tastes of each dish even more extensive. $

WeSt Seattle

ePhesus 5245 California Ave. S.W., 937-3302. If you

order the lamb kebabs, you’ll get a good idea of how to fall in love with an entire nationality. The skewered lamb pieces could have come straight from the kitchen of a stocky Turkish grandmother. Spiked with onion, garlic, lemon, cinnamon, and who knows what else, the lamb is tender and savory and effuses flavor. Ephesus also prepares chicken, beef, and various seafood kebabs. Maybe the entire menu isn’t perfect, but a few things are great. $$ Maharaja cuisine of inDia 4542 California Ave. S.W., 935-9443. Not affiliated with the other Maharajas around town, this one boasts a spiffy bar (it used to be a dive, but not anymore!) and one of the city’s best bartenders, Don Bogey. With television sets in every corner of the room, the Maha is like a sports bar without the crappy fried stuff and flat Bud Light. Instead, you get high-quality Indian food and Taj Mahal bottles. Score! $$

Phoenecia 2716 Alki Ave. S.W., 935-6550. The future

of this longtime Alki Beach fixture was thrown into doubt in August 2009 after the sudden death of sweet, avuncular proprietor Hussein Khazaal, but his family, led by son William, has carried on.

A menu featuring Lebanese and Mediterranean cuisine has been remade into one focusing on small plates and wood-fired artisanal pizzas, emphasizing local and sustainable sourcing. The renovated space, featuring a wine bar, is darker and more intimate, but there are two constants: the high quality of the food and the warmth and affability of Phoenecia’s staff. $ sscc DininG hall 6000 16th Ave. S.W., 764-5344.

South Seattle Community College’s remodeled culinary complex is a foodie’s dream destination.

Surprisingly gourmet for a school restaurant, the wide variety of entrées, from duck confit to grilled miso salmon, will please beyond expectations. The destination is well worth the journey, and don’t worry about having to rub shoulders with students, because the place will also be populated with retirees taking advantage of great food at low, low prices. $

Eastside Bellevue

chantanee faMily thai restaurant 601 108th

Ave. N.E., Ste. 100A, 425-455-3226. A restaurant of perplexing contrasts, Chantanee has Las Vegascum-Bellevue splendor and ultra-classic cocktails, with a voluminous menu and waiters training to make it up to four-star places. The food, commanding top prices, varies from crappy American versions of Thai standards (tom kha gai filled with raw mushrooms, crispy calamari salad drowning in sugar syrup) to rare, exciting Thai dishes like miang kam, mixed crunchy things served with fresh betel leaves for wrapping, and phad chaa, or meat with chile paste, Thai basil, and clusters of fresh peppercorns. If you’re willing to spend the dough, you may stumble on the dish you’re after. $$

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music» »profile

Wheels of Fire

How a “Crazy Czechoslovakian” turned a Central District bike shop into a favorite venue.

By erin k. thompson

AnAstAsiA Dixon

2

Kostelnik ended up being drawn back to the CD by its diversity, history, and eponymous centrality. “Wallingford’s kind of a drag. Like, 40 guys like me elbowing each other to get a muffin at, like, some fucking coffee shop, and we’re all buying the same ironic jazz record, and we’re all the same. I can’t stand it,” he says. “I’m a weirdo here, ’cause it’s still diverse.”

Kostelnik, who’s never owned a car (“Well, except for that one,” he says,

Damien Jurado remembers his 20/20 set as one of the “most intimate shows I had ever been to.” thumbing back at the Tonka truck), worked at eight different bicycle-repair shops in 20 years, hating his bosses every step of the way, before opening 20/20 in 2006—a move he credits to an REI co-worker called Boots: “He would tell me all the time that I was full of shit. Like, ‘Shut up! Quit fucking complaining!’ And then one day he said, ‘You should start your own business, because you’re driving us crazy.’ ” Kostelnik rejected Boots’ idea for a business name—The Crazy Czechoslovakian—but did seek a space. He paid off his startup expenses within six months, and hasn’t been in debt since.

A

bout five times a year, Kostelnik shoves aside the bikes, display cases, helmets, and assorted parts that litter the floor, and hosts shows. “It’s pretty amazing to stand in the space before and after this process,” says Anacortes musician Karl Blau. “If [Alex is] putting on a show at his bike shop, it’s because he’s super-passionate about the lineup.”

Kostelnik has been producing shows since the early ’80s (“Seattle’s punk days,” he calls them), when he would assemble bills at now-defunct spaces like Ground Zero, Lincoln Arts Center, and Oddfellows Hall. He has also recorded studio albums—for the Moondoggies, Shenandoah Davis, and Jack Wilson, among others—and is a stickler for sound. “I like shows that sound good,” he says, “so the way to get that is to do it yourself. There’s a famous hi-fi recording from Sweden or something called Jazz at the Pawnshop. It sounds amazing, and you can tell the audience is really into it and the band is inspired.

I aspire to that. I guess someday I’ll put out a live album and call it Jazz at the Bike Shop. Although it will only have a little bit of jazz.”

Local singer/songwriter Damien Jurado remembers his 20/20 set as one of the “most intimate shows I had ever been to,” he wrote in an e-mail. “Everyone in attendance [was] quiet and attentive. It was a great reminder that a show can be put on anywhere . . . even a bike shop.”

Alex Kostelnik in his shop/venue/playground.

Eli Moore, of the bands LAKE and Baby Island, whom Kostelnik names as one of his favorite performers (“He writes lullabies for adults”), calls 20/20 his favorite venue in Seattle. “It’s not their ‘job’ to do shows, so it always seems likes a fun time for them,” he says. “Alex is an excellent recording engineer, too, so the sound is always good.”

Kostelnik says he gets e-mailed all the time by bands who want to play at the shop, but he frequently turns them down. The “Shows” page on 2020cycle.com warns that “It’s mostly our friends and definitely our favorite bands.”

Upcoming shows will feature former Nirvana drummer Chad Channing and his band Before Cars (“Which seems appropriate!” laughs Kostelnik), and, on a January double bill, Unnatural Helpers and La Luz. Kostelnik says his favorite show was the one Blau headlined earlier this month. Blau recalls spotting Kostelnik “grinning ear to ear, standing behind the mixer like a sea captain at the ship’s wheel.”

“It was a super-fun, festive night,” says Kostelnik. “It was like family night. We were all one.” E ethompson@seattleweekly.com Before Cars With Mega Bog, Slashed Tires.

20/20 Cycle, 2020 E. Union St., 568-3090. $5–$10. All ages. 8 p.m. Mon., Dec. 3.

Se attle weekly • NOVEMBER 28− DECEMBER 4, 2012

0/20 Cycle’s cozy decorating scheme draws equal inspiration from the average college guy’s dorm and a 1970s living room.

Pinned to the wall of the Central District bike shop is the cardboard album cover of Heart’s Dreamboat Annie, and the taxidermied head of a pronghorn antelope looks down over a computer. A table holds a coffee cup filled with fresh flowers and a pile of books (among them, Twilight: Breaking Dawn and All for a Few Perfect Waves: The Audacious Life and Legend of Rebel Surfer Miki Dora) advertised as free for the taking. Atop an olive-green wooden platform sit a few bikes for sale and a lot of toys— Battleship, Hot Wheels, and a metal Tonka truck that the shop’s owner, Alex Kostelnik, was given as a child, in 1972.

“There’s a couple neighborhood kids that choose me over the library,” he says, “which is a real source of pride.” Bands are also known to choose Kostelnik’s space over traditional clubs—that green platform isn’t just a place to store toys, it’s a stage for live music, which Kostelnik books sparingly yet deliberately, making this increasingly a favorite venue of local musicians.

Sitting in a chair in front of his stage, Kostelnik, 45, has salt-and-pepper hair and a matching beard and exudes a loud and smiley persona that fits the space’s homey vibe. His left thumbnail is painted sky blue with a tiny, sparkly silver microphone—a souvenir from a trip to a nail salon with his wife of four months, Sasha Morgan, who works at Sub Pop Records. His ensemble— flannel T-shirt and a wide gold wedding band, imprinted with images of dolphins, starfish, and sand bubbles, made of recycled gold from circuit boards—is a Northwest uniform for a most Northwest guy.

Born at Doctors Hospital (now part of Fred Hutchinson) about eight blocks from where 20/20 now stands, Kostelnik currently lives about eight blocks in the other direction. He was raised in Green Lake, but discovered an affinity for the Central District early on when he spent a year attending Garfield High School. He would bus over just to hang out in the neighborhood—the T.T. Minor Elementary School playground for kickball games, the corner stores to buy candy necklaces and sour balls. After graduating from Roosevelt High School, he spent seven years at Evergreen, where as a film student he captured some of Nirvana’s early shows on video. (Biographers Charles Cross and Gillian Gaar both interviewed him for their tomes—respectively, Heavier Than Heaven and Entertain Us. In the latter, Kostelnik memorably describes a Nirvana performance at an Olympia house show, where he felt like the room was “expanding and contracting” like “some kind of acid trip from the music!”)

33

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»column

Self-Reliance

How did Emerson know exactly what I needed to hear?

C

onsidering what a profound influence a book can have on one’s life, it’s amazing that the tiniest things can send us off in search of a new read. It can be word-ofmouth book gossip in line for an espresso, a note from a friend, or a movie about espionage.

I received a card a couple of weeks ago from a friend. I’m not one for the usual Hallmark “life-will-get-better-just-forge-aheadlet-the-sun-warm-your-face” type of malarkey, and usually skip quotes on the fronts of cards. But this particular card caught my eye, as the quote was by Ralph Waldo Emerson, whose writing I had yet to be exposed to. I gave the quote a second read: “Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

I reread this about 28 times over the next few days, and became sort of enamored with this Emerson dude. How did he know I needed this? How did he know we all need this kick in the ass sometimes? What else does he have to say?

Some of us have religion and faith, and others reach for other forms of spirituality to help strengthen their lives. Many have faith in science and logic. Some of us have simple love from one’s family. Others have nothing at all. For those of us always searching and open to ideas and thought, may I suggest Emerson’s essay, “Self-Reliance.”

Like the quote on that card a few weeks ago, “Self-Reliance” is a rereadable meditation of the innate feelings of victory and overcoming adversity that we each have at our own fingertips. It is the type of thing that you thank a person for turning you on to.

I hope you all had a happy Thanksgiving.

Now, for when you get done with “SelfReliance,” here are some of the books that I have been up and in for the past couple of months: Black Box, Jennifer Egan: Her first piece of fiction since A Visit From the Goon Squad, this short story furthers my belief that Egan is fast becoming one of the best and most forward-thinking fiction writers of our generation. She is punk-rock and cosmopolitan and inventive. Black Box originally came out via Twitter, and this limited-edition bound proof copy that I have in hand will go on my bookshelf of greatness for sure.

The Greatest Battle, Andrew Nagorski: A lot of us think of the battle of Stalingrad as the big turning point of the Soviet/German conflict in World War II. Nagorski takes us through the (for some reason) little-told story of Hitler’s army getting to the city

By Duff McKagan

limits of Moscow, and the great lengths that Stalin went through to save that city. It is amazing to think of the insanity of Stalin and Hitler, and how so very recent in history this was. A must-read for any war/ history buff.

With Wings Like Eagles: A History of the Battle of Britain, Michael Korda: I just did a

tour of the UK and Ireland, and it is always insightful for me to try to read a historical book on places that I am visiting. War history, for me, is much more than the study of conflict; it is an insight to how people coped and lived and suffered and triumphed in an extraordinary setting. Korda’s Battle of Britain adds the insight of a top-notch historian to all that has been learned and exposed about the players in the buildup to this turning-point battle against Hitler and the Luftwaffe. Completely readable. Completely fascinating.

Dial M for Merthyr, Rachel Trezise: To be sure, I’ve only just started this book. It is one of those that, when it spills out of your backpack time after time at the airport or

War history, for me, is much more than the study of conflict; it is an insight to how people coped and lived and suffered and triumphed in an extraordinary setting. backstage or wherever, people in the know around me have given me an enthusiastic thumbs-up. This is a rock-and-roll book, a social study done in real time: a young rock band from Wales, and a young writer on the back of their tour bus taking notes. I’ve been looking forward to this. E askduff@seattleweekly.com

Duff McKagan is the co-founder of Guns N’ Roses and the leader of Seattle’s Loaded. His column runs every Thursday at seattleweekly.com/ reverb.

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music»TheShortList Bobby Bare Jr. & the Maldives Thursday, November 29

While they both occupy the Americana realm, these are very different performers.

Bare is a little too goofy at times, while the Maldives can come off a bit too stoic. The good news is that both have talent to burn, and if they rub off on each other, both acts will be the better for it. Quibbling aside, this pairing only serves to reinforce what a fantastic out-of-the-way venue Bainbridge has in the Treehouse, which provides touring musicians and local stalwarts alike the chance to earn some extra dough while reaching an audience starved for great music—and panino rolls, a must-order beer base at this woodsy venue—that they don’t have to hop a ferry for. Treehouse Cafe,

give a fuck. Whether you latch on to their specific punk ethos or not, their amped-up electro-rap will get you jacked. With Cities Aviv.

The Crocodile, 2200 Second Ave., 441-4618.

8 p.m. $15. All ages.

TODD HAMM

The Babies Friday, November 30

Courtesy of the artist

This Brooklyn pop-rock band, begun as a sideproject collaboration between Woods’ Kevin Morby and Vivian Girls’ Cassie Ramone, recently 4569 Lynwood Ctr. Rd. N.E., Bainbridge released a second album, Island, 842-2814. 8 p.m. $15. MIKE SEELY Our House on the Hill—a much cleaner, brighter Death Grips Thursday, November 29 record than their 2011 self-titled debut. A “I am the beast I worship,” bellowed Death couple of the songs— Grips frontman MC Ride on “Beware,” the “Mean,” “That Boy”—are pulse-spiking opener from their spotlightstark tracks featuring not grabbing 2011 debut Exmilitary. It was permuch more than Morby’s haps a prophetic moment of self-loathing gentle guitar that would strumming and play out in wistful vocals, its entirety in Tune in to 97.3 KIRO FM and some are 2012, as the Death Grips’ main man, MC Ride. every Saturday at 7 p.m. infused with a group surpristo hear music editor Chris Kornelis on Seattle Sounds.

Western couningly signed doin’?/I like your hair/How do you do it?” try flavor, like the easy-riding “See with, and then the Country.” A majority, though, unceremoniWith Stickers, Detective Agency. Barboza, ously burned all bridges with, beastly major are animated pieces of guitar pop with lyrics 925 E. Pike St., 709-9467. that highlight both the serious introspection Epic Records mid-contract. Following the 7 p.m. $10. ERIN K. THOMPSON and the serial attention deficiency of today’s story, you got the feeling Death Grips had youth, as on the catchy opener “Alligator”: simply gotten what they wanted out of the King Dude Friday, November 30 Morby goes from positing “Life is funny/ label, then bounced before they were made Life’s a laugh/Life is lonely/Yeah, it’s a drag” to jump through any corporate hoops. You With his man-in-black shtick down pat, to asking “And what’s your name?/How you also got the feeling that they really don’t T.J. Cowgill’s dark muses surface in King

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Editor’s Pick

WILD BELLE Friday, November 30

In 2010, Chicago musician Elliott Bergman fired his younger sister Natalie from his Afro-jazz band Nomo because his bandmates thought her atmospheric vocals made their music less danceable. Natalie now appears to be having the last laugh, though—she and Elliott soon formed a duo called Wild Belle, and last September signed a deal with Columbia Records, which will release the band’s full-length debut, Isles, next March. Wild Belle makes music for those who perpetually long for summer—breezy, buoyant reggaepop bolstered by Elliott’s florid saxophone riffs and Natalie’s balmy vocals, singing bluesy lyrics like “Same song, again and again/You rob me twice and I keep coming back/Why can’t I keep you?” It’s sultry, plaintive—and very danceable, actually. With Deep Sea Diver, Pretty Broken Things.

Neumos, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9442.

8 p.m. $12. ERIN K. THOMPSON

Dude as echoey outlaw country lamentations penned to remind us to take it down a notch—because we’re all going to die anyway. It’s no surprise that Cowgill’s got a healthy death-metal background; though his other band, Book of Black Earth, may use a completely different set of weapons (distortion, double kicks, throat-scraping screams), both projects play out a similarly bleak worldview with surprisingly good results.

There’s also a dry humor to Dude’s music, as he groans and wobbles his words for effect, playing the part he’s written for himself so well that we’re happy to play along. With Cinnamon Girl, Partman Parthorse, DAN’Z ID. Comet Tavern, 922 E. Pike St., 322-9272.

9 p.m. $8. TODD HAMM

The Minus 5 Friday, November 30

Jennifer tzar

Seattle weekly • NO VE MBER 28− DECE MBER 4, 2012

e

If you ever want to bone up on a serious chunk of regional rock history, Scott McCaughey is a good starting point.

Since the early ’80s when he formed Young Fresh Fellows, he’s been omnipresent in the Pacific Northwest music scene, working with every band from R.E.M. to Wilco; but his long-standing role as frontman for The Minus 5, the enduring pop-rock band he shares with Bill Rieflin, Peter Buck, and John Ramberg, shows his true colors.

McCaughey can sit in as a session player and touring musician just fine, but again and again, album after album, he clearly prefers this dependable group, playing smaller venues and crafting quirky, catchy pop with friends. With Casey Neill & the Norway Rats. High Dive, 513 N. 36th St., 632-0212. 9:30 p.m. $8 adv./$10 DOS. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT

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Se attle weekly • NOVEMBER 28− DECEMBER 4, 2012

sweet honey in the rock: celebrating the holydays

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West Coast hip-hop. With Ty Dolla $ign, Niko-G4, Audio Push. The Neptune, 1303 N.E. 45th St., 784-4849, stg presents.org. 8 p.m. $20 adv./$25 DOS. All ages.

KinsKi This veteran local rock band is set to release its first album since 2007 early next year. With Low Hums, General Motors. Blue Moon Tavern, 712 N.E. 45th St., 6759116, bluemoonseattle.wordpress.com. 9:30 p.m. $6.

Saturday, Dec. 1 autuMn electric On June’s Make Me a Tree, this

Wednesday, Nov. 28 Post Madonna Combing knotty math-rock passages

with smooth vocal harmonies, this local band’s sound is maximalist and unpredictable. With Chastity Belt, Dear Mister Manager. Chop Suey, 1325 E. Madison St., 324-8005, chopsuey.com. 8 p.m. $7. tyPe a! This 16-piece revue performs covers of classics ranging from funk (“Brick House”) to soul (“What’s Goin’ On?”) to hip-hop (“Hot in Herre”). Triple Door, 216 Union St., 838-4333, thetripledoor.net. 7:30 p.m. $15. All ages.

KATE BROCK

Turbo Fruits play Chop Suey on November 29.

your nerves can’t tell the temperature, so you can rock out regardless! With Arkansas and the River Bandits, Judd Wasserman Band, Bret Phillips & The Working Class Disease. Comet Tavern, 922 E Pike St., 322-9272, comettavern.com. 9 p.m. $7. turBo fruits Fronted by former Be Your Own Pet guitarist Jonas Stein, Nashville’s Turbo Fruits haven’t released a full-length album in more than three years, opting instead for several split 7-inches with hometown bands like Bad Cop and Pujol. With White Lung, Dream Salon. Chop Suey. 8 p.m. $10.

Thursday, Nov. 29

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Americana-influenced rock trio headlines an EP release show for like-minded four-piece Lanford Black. With Midnight Salvage Co. Sunset Tavern, 5433 Ballard Ave. N.W., 784-4880, sunsettavern.com. 8:30 p.m. $6. tHe Hoot Hoots This local power-pop quartet, featuring brothers Adam and Chris Prairie, is celebrating the release of their joyous new EP, Feel the Cosmos. With The Jesus Rehab, Friends and Family. Barboza, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9467, thebarboza.com. 8 p.m. $10.

Jeff fielder & KeitH lowe Voted Seattle Weekly’s Best Musical Utility Player of 2012, guitar man Fielder (Sera Cahoone, Shannon Stephens, and others) teams up with Lowe (bass player for BRAD, Wayne Horowitz, and others) for a set as the city’s finest session cats.

With DreamWreck, Strange Jerome. High Dive, 513 N. 36th St., 632-0212, highdive seattle.com. 8 p.m. $6. said tHe wHale In its nine-year history, Canada’s Juno Award for “Best New Musical Group” has hardly found the next Arcade Fire.

While hardcore acts Theory of a Deadman and Alexisonfire have had moderate success, the others are relative t h i S co d e unknowns. With their pleasant to download the FRee indie-pop sound, Vancouver’s Seattle weekly Said the Whale, winners in iPhone/andRoid aPP 2011, could break this trend.

FoR moRe conceRtS oR viSit Vera Project, 305 Harrison St., seattleweekly.com 956-8372, theveraproject.org.

7:30 p.m. $11. All ages. sKeriK’s BandalaBra The latest endeavor from the titular jazz saxophonist features experimental, psychedelic grooves and a backing band comprising local jazz heavyweights Andy Coe, Evan Flory-Barnes, and D’Vonne Lewis. Tractor Tavern, 5231 Ballard Ave. N.W., 789-3599, tractortavern.com. 9 p.m. $10. tHe sweet doMiniques Their Reverb Nation bio says their sound is “perfect for drinking cold beers in warm weather!” Luckily, you can usually drink until

Scan

Send events to music@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings

Sunday, Dec. 2 eluVeitie Most metal bands don’t boast hurdy-gurdy

and bagpipe players or write songs in the dead language of the Gauls, but most metal bands aren’t this Swiss eight-piece. With Winter Sun, Varg. El Corazon, 109 Eastlake Ave. E., 381-3094, elcorazonseattle.com. 7 p.m. $20 adv./$23 DOS. All ages. tHe round With 90 iterations and counting, Fremont Abbey’s “The Round” concert series—which includes simultaneous performances of (usually folk) music, poetry, and visual art—is becoming ubiquitous. The annual “Winter Round” is held at the Triple Door, and all proceeds benefit Abbey Arts programs. With Pretty Broken Things, The Cellar Door, iLow. Triple Door. 7:30 p.m. $14 adv./$16 DOS. All ages. screens This West Seattle quartet combines skittering electronic beats with breathy vocals from Allison Tulloss. With Luxe Canyon and Wiscon. Nectar Lounge, 412 N. 36th St., 632-2020, nectarlounge.com. 8 p.m. $5.

Monday, Dec. 3 THE OPM COMPANY

Seattle weekly • NO VE MBER 28− DECE MBER 4, 2012

Heels to tHe Hardwood This recently formed

local group plays folk rock with a higher-than-typical level of pop sensibility. With Buffalo Jones, Johnny Unicorn. Blue Moon Tavern. 9:30 p.m. $6.

JHereK BiscHoff A producer, composer, and multiinstrumentalist, Bischoff specializes in orchestral music, and has collaborated with artists as varied as David Byrne, Xiu Xiu, and Parenthetical Girls. The Moore, 1931 Second Ave., 467-5510, stgpresents.com. 7 p.m. $17.50. All ages.

Massy ferguson Massey Ferguson is a reliable tractor brand, while Massy Ferguson is a Son Volt-y country-rock band. Both are hardy, straightforward, and satisfying, like pizza and beer on a Saturday night—with a tequila tray if you’re feeling particularly bulletproof. Treehouse Cafe, 4569 Lynwood Ctr. Rd. N.E., Bainbridge Island, 842-2814. 8 p.m. $12. raVenna woods The band fronted by Chris Cunnningham has had a productive year, adding a new member (multi-instrumentalist Sam Miller) and completing its forthcoming sophomore album, The Jackals. KEXP’s Audioasis is putting on this show, which benefits climatechange advocacy nonprofit Climate Solutions. With Kithkin, SHiPS. Sunset Tavern. 9 p.m. $7 adv./$8 DOS.

L.A.’s Dom Kennedy headlines the Neptune on November 30.

Friday, Nov. 30 Blue scHolars Though Geo and Sabzi are notorious

multitaskers, with both juggling several projects, the hip-hop duo has found time to piece together a short fall tour in support of last summer’s Cinémetropolis. With Don’t Talk to the Cops, Brothers From Another. Showbox at the Market, 1426 First Ave., 628-3151, showboxonline. com. 8 p.m. $17.50 adv./$20 DOS. All ages. daydreaM Vacation In June, producer David Einmo (Head Like a Kite) and vocalist Asya (Smoosh) released Dare Seize the Fire, a collection of smooth, beat-driven electropop. The breakneck garage rock of openers Pony Time makes an incongruous pairing. Vera Project.

7:30 p.m. $11. All ages. dicK dale With the amount of rain we’ve been getting, you might have to hang ten down to the Croc to see the King of the Surf Guitar. The Crocodile, 2200 Second Ave, 441-4618, thecrocodile.com. 8 p.m. $20. All ages. doM Kennedy Following up last year’s From the Westside With Love II, Kennedy has released two mixtapes in 2012, full of his especially laid-back take on

tHe dangerous suMMer Named for a Hemingway

novel, these Warped Tour favorites and Hopeless Records signees are touring behind their second full-length, last year’s War Paint. With Young London, Matt Bacnis, Home Alone. El Corazon. 7 p.m. $10 adv./$12 DOS. All ages. siMian MoBile disco The British house and techno duo of DJs James Ford and Jas Shaw are currently on a world tour in support of their sprawling third album, Unpatterns. With JDH, Dave P. Neumos, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9442, neumos.com. 8 p.m. $18.50. sindios This local black-metal band headlines this edition of the 2 Bit Saloon’s weekly “Metal Monday” showcase. With Beast of the Sky, Swine Grinder. 4818 17th Ave. N.W., 708-6917, the2bitsaloon.com. 9 p.m. $5.

Tuesday, Dec. 4 decK tHe Hall Ball The End’s annual holiday-themed

megaconcert always has its fair share of schlock—this year it’s a race to the bottom between electro-rawk bros AWOLNATION and folk reappropriators the Lumineers.

The highlights, however, are worth the ticket price.

Most notable is M83, whose Bumbershoot performance in this same venue proved its status as an arena-level headliner. With the Killers, Passion Pit, Grouplove, Of Monsters and Men, The Joy Formidable. KeyArena, 305 Harrison St., 684-7200, seattlecenter.com. 3 p.m. $47.70–$127.70. All ages.

Jelly Bread Fronted by pedal steel player Dave Berry, this group plays funk music that clearly hearkens back to the genre’s James Brown–led heyday. Fun fact: Per the Reverb Nation charts, they’re currently Reno’s #1 band in the “Other” genre. With Caffeine Trio. Nectar Lounge. 8 p.m. $5 adv./$7 DOS.

dategirl»By Judy McGuire Come Join uS!

The Stupidity of the Big-Deal, Giant, Public Proposal

Dear Dategirl, I’m really worried my boyfriend is going to propose. Hear me out. We’ve been together for about a year, and I do love him. But he is a lot older than me. Like 18 years older.

He has a strong tendency for the big production, and friends are starting to hint that he has something big planned. We have a vacation coming up, and I’m getting incredibly anxious. I don’t want to break up with him, but I’m far from sure I want to marry him. But if he does some huge production—like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes at the Eiffel Tower—I worry I will feel obligated to accept!

Should I break up with him before the trip? I don’t know—because what if this is all in my head? Aargh, it’s making me crazy!

I would hate to break his heart, but if this is some Jumbotron-mariachi-flash mob-Oprah thing he’s ginning up, I want no part of it!

—Not the Marrying Type

of Virginia, told The New York Times, “Overthe-top proposals allow men to signal to a future wife, and to family and friends, that they are all in. They are ready to man up, forgo all others, and become a responsible husband.” I don’t quite get how hiring a group of amateur dancers translates to “manning up” or fidelity, but then I’m not the director of anything, so what do I know?

To me, theatrics scream attention-seeking manipulation more than “I love you.” I mean, how do you say “No, thanks” after he’s flown your entire family in from Skokie, hired a marching band, and plunked down 10 G’s on a blood diamond?

However, as idiotic as you and I both seem to find these things, the worry that your man might pull something like this is nothing to lose sleep over, nor is it any reason to

How do you say “No, thanks” after he’s flown your entire family in from Skokie and hired a marching band? dump him. Just talk to him about it—tell him outright that you don’t see marriage in the cards for you guys for at least 10 years (or however long), and when/if you do decide to marry, you want it to be a mutual decision, not a showbiz spectacular.

There’s one more thing to consider. This guy is old enough to be your dad, so there’s a good chance you’re on very different timelines. Your eggs may have a decade of life left in them, while his sperm is losing spunk by the minute. I’d say the two of you need a state-of-the-union talk sooner rather than later. E

find dategirl » every week at aonline

Want more? Listen to Judy on The Mike & Judy Show, follow her tweets @HitOrMiss Judy, or buy her new book, The Official Book of Sex, Drugs, and Rock ’n’ Roll Lists.

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Dillon Warnek and the Dismal Tide and the Charles Wicklander Christmas Spectacular. $5 cover.

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Jennifer Kienzle and Oghale Agbro. $5 cover.

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Se attle weekly • NOVEMBER 28− DECEMBER 4, 2012

I used to think the diamond-ringunderneath-the-dessert thing was awful (don’t mess with my mousse), until Internet exposure started this whole competitive public-proposal industry. To my mind, something as life-altering as a marriage should be discussed, dissected, and decided on between the two people involved—not sprung on an unsuspecting party in front of a hundred of the couple’s nearest and dearest. And then—even worse—loaded onto YouTube for strangers to kvell over.

W. Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University

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tangy Grapefruit side of the family) makes it a pleasure to toke, and the resulting mental fuel allows you to focus on whatever task is at hand.

I picked the mysterious indica strain Thunder—related to Blue Thunder?

Or Alaskan Thunderfuck? Nobody seems quite sure—on the basis of its extremely pretty, sticky flowers. And because, much like Hank Jr. with his women, I like to have strains I’ve never had.

As mentioned, Thunder has a much fruitier smell than most indica dominants; these strains tend to the more pungent, skunkier end of the bouquet spectrum. Upon toking, the light-green flowers, covered in a dank forest of red hairs and trichomeencrusted calyxes, quickly reveal their pain-soothing power and their ability to glue you to your seat for a bit longer than perhaps you’d planned.

New patients get a free joint at Seattle MMJ Co-op; mid-grade ounces can be found on special for as low as $125. Hash and kief start at $15 a gram, while bubble hash is $25 a gram. There’s a small but quality selection of medibles, including 1/8-gram hash lollipops (THC Suckerz), PC Edibles Bomb candy bars, FUBAR chews, glycerine-based tinctures, and Green Haven medicated topical lotion. Don’t forget the CannaBull cannabis energy drinks (previously reviewed in my Incredible Medibles column at seattleweekly.com/ voracious) for $7. They work. E

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Se attle weekly • NOVEMBER 28− DECEMBER 4, 2012

marijuana access point on Lake City Way, has a chilly-ass waiting room. That’s the first thing I learned visiting it on a recent Sunday. It came inescapably to my notice as I waited in the long, narrow space (I think it used to be a diner) for my paperwork to be verified and for another patient’s time in the budroom to be over. Dudes: Whatever you’re saving on the power bill, you’re losing in ambience. Turn up the damned heat.

Once it was my turn to go back to the (cramped, but at least not cold) budroom with proprietor/ budtender Chris, though, I was quite pleased to see Seattle MMJ Co-op has a $10 per gram flat rate for flowers. Quarters are $65, and ounces are $230. Chris said there are plans to expand the budroom in the near future; after only eight months in business, Seattle MMJ is definitely on an upward arc.

Freed by the across-the-board prices to explore the entire menu, I had Chris patiently show me all six strains in stock.

After looking at all the pretty flowers, I decided on Blue Grape, a sativa-dominant hybrid, and Thunder, an uncharacteristically fruity-smelling indica.

The mental rush of Blue Grape (Blueberry x Grapefruit), bred right here in the Pacific Northwest, makes it a great all-day smoke. The sativa portion of its genetic heritage lends an optimistic, focused, vigorous, can-do tone to the buzz, while the indica portion provides effective pain relief; you will also get very, very hungry.

Its rich taste (leaning slightly more to the

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The LUTE clinical research study may be right for you.

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