Jase, Missy, & Mia - Supporting Those with Cleft Lip and Palate | November 2022

WHO WE ARE...

P U BL ISHE R

From 2007 to 2012 we, the Millers, adopted our first three children, a preschooler on the autism spectrum and two babies with Down syndrome. We published our first issue of Plain Values in 2012 to highlight Biblical ministries, share the beauty of adoption, and to cultivate anchored community. In 2018 we welcomed our fourth child in a surprise adoption, this time a baby with Mosaic Down syndrome. We homeschool our family and enjoy working together to grow and raise food on our twelve acre homestead.

Marlin Miller SA L E S A DV ISO R - O HIO

Matt Yoder SA L E S A DV ISO R - M IC HIA N A + P ENNSY LVANI A

Aaron Stutzman E DITO R IA L M A N AG E R

Nic Stoltzfus Q UA L IT Y A SSU RA N C E

WHAT WE BELIEVE...

Sabrina Schlabach

Our values are plain values, steeped in the rich traditions of yesterday. We enjoy the simple things in life. Gathering eggs from the coop, getting our hands in the dirt to grow food, and cooking meals from scratch. Sometimes we sit around a fire and share life. We strive to walk humbly to strengthen authentic relationships with our families and neighbors. And, yes, we have taken a fresh pie to a front porch and surprised a friend… we didn’t even text them before! We just stopped by, walked up the steps, and knocked on the door! Just the way our grandparents used to do on a Sunday evening. They called it living in community.

We seek to serve our neighbors. Plain Values began with a prayer, hoping to play a small role in connecting a child with Down syndrome to his or her forever family. We have checked that box over a dozen times in the last ten years, and we will not stop until the orphanages are empty! We will rest in Heaven!

P RO DU C T IO N M A N AG E R

Isaac Hershberger M U LT I- M E DIA P RO DU C T IO N

Seth Yoder O F F IC E M A N AG E R / C U STO MER S ERVI C E

Jan Schlabach DEC E M BE R A D C LO SE

November 4, 2022 WR IT E R – SE RV IN G O U R N E IG H B O R

Elaine Tomski WR IT E R – WHISP E RS O F HO P E

HOW YOU CAN HELP...

Join us as we pursue a more authentic life. By subscribing to Plain Values, a portion of each subscription goes directly to Room to Bloom, our non-profit that supports children with special needs.

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Rory Feek

JOIN US FOR PORCH TIME! Every third Friday from 1:00pm – 4:00pm

Stop by, enjoy a cup of coffee or tea, sit on the porch, and visit for a while. We'd love to get to know you! We're located in the heart of Winesburg, Ohio—just down the street from the church.

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Joel Salatin WR IT E R – T HE WIDOW ' S PAT H

Ferree Hardy WR IT E R – O U R HE R ITAG E

Elam Stoltzfus WR IT E R – A L L T HIN GS O U T DO O RS

Jim Zumbo

Plain Values is published monthly by Plain Target Marketing, LLC. Please contact us with any questions.

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November 2022 // Issue 113

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JASE, MISSY, & MIA ROBERTSON Supporting Those with Cleft Lip and Palate

HONEST CONVERSATIONS WITH WENDY What if You're Wrong?

WORDS BY: ELAINE TOMSKI

COLUMN BY: WENDY CUNNINGHAM

Mia Robertson, daughter of Jase and Missy from the popular TV show Duck Dynasty, was born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate.

Now, they use their journey to inspire and support others.

Our newest columnist, Wendy Cunningham, shares the story of how the Lord used her husband, and a simple question, to lead her to the truth.

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CONFESSIONS OF A STEWARD Aromatic Hogs

THE WIDOW'S PATH God Makes No Mistakes (p. 2)

COLUMN BY: JOEL SALATIN

COLUMN BY: FERREE HARDY

Believe it or not, you can raise hogs without the pungent smell often associated with them. This month, Joel Salatin shares the strategies involved in making this a reality on your farm.

If you enjoyed Ferree's column last month, you won't want to miss the continuation of Jane Zempel's story with her son, Ben, who was born with Down syndrome.

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ON THE COVER Jase Robertson with his daughter, Mia; born on September 12, 2003, with a bilateral cleft lip and palate.

One Minute With Marlin Room to Bloom Report Whispers of Hope: The Weeping Soul Good Food Snacks by Eden Foods Prayers for the Nations: Finland

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ROOTS + WINGS Early Riser

THE HEALING LAND Late Autumn Musings

COLUMN BY: RORY FEEK

COLUMN BY: SHAWN & BETH DOUGHERTY

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been an early-riser in the mornings, but here lately, something else rising in the kitchen has me excited to get out of bed, long before the sun comes up.

This month the Doughertys enlighten us on some of their year-end practices on the farm, particularly the art of saving seeds to cultivate a crop perfectly suited for their homestead.

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OUR HERITAGE Reflections on the Martyrs—The Müller Family

ALL THINGS OUTDOORS Carp Fishing

COLUMN BY: ELAM STOLTZFUS

COLUMN BY: JIM ZUMBO

Elam continues his series on the hidden stories of early martyrs found in the back of the Ausbund hymn book. This month, he uncovers the stories of the Müller family.

In his younger days, Jim caught carp for every reason you could think of, except for eating them. Now, he not only provides tips on how to catch them, but how to cook them as well.

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One Minute with Marlin A NEARLY PERFECT FALL MORNING: the leaves brilliantly colored with a lazy mist rising from the river. A friend and I were floating a section of river we hoped was stacked with fish. He was steering from the rear, and I was up front hoping for a hookup. We fished awhile, and I put my rod to the side for a quick tip of the water jug. What I didn’t see coming straight for me was a patch of low hanging branches. The current had pushed us to the side of the river where we had to duck under a massive and very low hanging tree. Typically, it's not a big deal, but this time those branches were loaded with spider webs! Big, beautiful, perfectly symmetrical and very untouched spider webs! By the time I had set the jug back in place, the webs were upon me! Literally. I didn’t have anything in hand to clear the way, and I didn’t want to look like a pansy and jump out of the boat. So, I made the best of it. Both arms went flailing up and down, clearing the path while trying not to fall overboard.

You can bet it was quite the sight!

I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who enjoys walking into a spider web. If you do, I want to shake your hand.

Most often, when I do find myself scraping silk off my face, it's because I went too fast and was not paying attention.

Or it's because I’m not driving the boat!

How often do we miss the best parts of life because we are simply going too fast? Over the years, I've lost count how many times I have heard the words “crazy busy. ‘Oh, I'm just crazy busy!’” I always want to ask them one simple question… “Why?” It makes no sense to me unless they are getting part or all of their self-worth from being “busy.” We all have things to do but we can still take time to “be still and know that I am God.” This is from Psalm 46, a beautiful description of our God as a fortress and refuge. When we remember who is perfectly and sovereignly in control, we can slow down and truly enjoy this world.

As always, may you find joy in the simple things. //

MARLIN MILLER publisher, always looking for more friends

Want to help the victims of Hurricane Ian? Hurricane Harvey slammed into Texas back in 2017 leaving hundreds of thousands of people in dire need. Our readers sent tens of thousands of dollars along with boots and blankets to a local church in prayerful support. Hurricane Ian hammered and flooded Florida a few weeks ago and has become the second deadliest in our country’s history. The scenes are unimaginable; folks have nothing but the clothes they were wearing when it hit. Some have lost everything! If you can help, please consider sending a check to Palm Grove Mennonite Church with "hurricane relief" in the memo. Our team has family there and you can rest assured that every penny will be used with integrity. The address is 1087 S Beneva Rd, Sarasota, FL 34232. If you have questions on other ways to help, please reach out to the church deacon, Al Miller, at 941-915-0066. Thank you in advance for your consideration.

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whispers of hope

S U P P O RT F O R T H O S E W H O F O ST E R + A D O P T

The Weeping Soul RECOVERING FROM ADOPTION COLUMN BY:

Stacey Gagnon

"Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also harder to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say 'my tooth is aching' than to say 'my heart is broken.' " I FLEW BACK FROM BULGARIA late Saturday night. I was in the hospital Sunday morning. Israel woke up with a leg swollen triple the size of normal with "concerning" redness. Mentally and physically, I was exhausted and emotionally spent. Much of Sunday was a blur.

At one point during his stay, I was helping to distract and hold him down as they tried for the third time to get an IV. He looked directly at me and then at the nurses and said, “STOP, please NO.” “You are going to be okay,” the lead nurse said. “We are almost all done.”

The nurses kept their eyes focused on the difficult task while my eyes read every single thought that crossed Israel's face. I knew this was not going to be okay. I also knew there was no choice—it had to be done. In that moment, I saw the curtain drop, and he retreated deep within his mind.

The hospital staff was not at fault. They were doing a job that had to be done every day to help sick kids. But I knew there would be a price to pay, much larger than a child going through an IV stick. I knew that we had just lost ground. It’s times like these that jolt my heart and remind me that repairing a traumatized brain is a lot like building

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a house of cards. If you jostle the table, the cards will fall, and you start over again… at ground zero.

We stayed four days in the hospital, and he struggled.

I tried to explain this to the staff as they hugged him and brought him treats. He charmed them, smiled, and collected compliments, a toy firetruck, coloring books, candy, and hugs. The moment they walked from the room, he checked out. He rocked in his bed, wringing his hands, while his eyes stared sightlessly at the ceiling, ignoring me as he sat at his "ground zero."

I looked like a crazy, over-reactive mother as I encouraged staff not to give him this extra attention.

I asked them not to hug him when he asked, and I watched as he frantically demanded their attention like his life depended upon it. I felt sick to my stomach as my son returned to the boy I had brought home from an orphanage 20 months earlier.

You see, he was rewarded in the orphanage by being cute, by being sad, and by gaining adult favor. He literally survived and was fed because he was "cute and engaging." And in this stressful moment, he is surviving with you. When you respond with favors and treats, you

have reinforced attachment with the wrong adult. You take away my opportunity to teach him what a mother is and what a trust attachment should look like.

He wants you to hold him and pick him up because, at that moment, you might take him home. You might provide his next meal, a drink of water, or basic human attention because his brain is screaming that he is back in that orphanage—alone. Food and physical contact mean survival. His brain is wired to survive, and babies who live through trauma cannot "fight or flight," so they learn to "freeze and retreat." My child learned that "not crying" and being cute gave him attention and food in a place of complete deprivation. This cannot be undone by months spent in a family; strangers’ affection doesn’t undo it, and my greatest fear is that it may never be undone. But what can’t happen is for him to learn to use strangers as a means to survive.

I want to show him that the world is a good place filled with good people. But nothing can erase the past; it has left an indelible mark on his perception of love and attachment. So, as a mother, I try to explain to people

that we can never erase bad things with good. Instead, we meet head on the nightmares, the pain, and the fear.

Because covering up a wound that needs to be dealt with is like putting a Hello Kitty band-aid on a hemorrhage.

We have spent the last six years taking an adultminded survivor and teaching him to trust like a child.

This includes daily work in teaching him to play with toys instead of anxiously rocking and twisting his hands; daily work to teach him to sit in quiet moments and not fill them with endless chatter. He has food issues, and we reteach him how to chew and swallow. It’s teaching him to cry out when he’s hurt or scared instead of sitting alone in cold stone silence.

Anniversaries and triggers jostle the table, the cards fall, and we’re back at ground zero. But mainly, it’s returning to ground zero, over and over, in a place of acceptance as we realize how deeply rooted the trauma is.

When we are sitting there, I repeat to him, “This is your home. You will never go back to Bulgaria.”

I say, “I am your mother, and mommies stay,” and he repeats it back, “Mommies stay.” //

Stacey Gagnon, along with her husband, Darren, are the founders of Lost Sparrows. They can be reached at P.O. Box 751, Winona Lake, IN 46590.

Learn more about Lost Sparrows at www.lostsparrows.org.

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Missy, Mia, and Jase Robertson with Abbey, the very first person Mia Moo supported when she was just a few months old

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WORDS BY

Elaine Tomski

Jase, Missy, and Mia Robertson Supporting Those with Cleft Lip and Palate GOD CREATED MIA ROBERTSON with the spirit to overcome. Like most parents, hers embraced a list of hopes as they waited for their baby to arrive.

That list did not include a birth defect. Yet, seven weeks before her birth, Jase and Missy Robertson learned that little Mia would be born with a cleft lip and possible cleft palate. An ultrasound revealed her smile was incomplete. One dashed hope became the opportunity for Mia and her family to share God's love through beautiful smiles.

Mia Elaine Robertson was born on September 12, 2003, with a bilateral cleft lip and palate. Her lip was split under both nostrils, and the roof of her mouth (palate) was also open. When Mia was a mere seventeen days old, her parents traveled to the International Craniofacial Institute in Dallas, Texas. "They checked her from head to toe," said Missy, "and fitted her with a palatal appliance in order to give her a fake roof to her mouth. This helped tremendously in the feeding process as it allowed her milk to travel down her throat, instead of out her nose."

Jase and Missy did their best to give little Mia plenty of nourishment so she'd be ready for her first corrective lip surgery at three months old. The Robertsons prepared themselves to supply medical care to Mia following surgery. However, they were not ready to look at her stitched and terribly swollen little face. They wondered if surgery had been the right choice. Missy said, "In just a couple of

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days, the swelling diminished entirely, and we soon realized that this indeed was the best thing to do for our child." At seven months, Mia received palate correction surgery and a natural roof to her mouth.

Little Mia had endured two surgeries in less time than she'd spent in her mama's womb.

Mia's lip had grown by age five, but the scar tissue had not. So, Mia endured a second lip corrective surgery and reconstruction in her nasal passages. By the time Mia turned eleven, she had suffered through a lengthy process of stretching her upper jaw. Once the upper matched the lower jaw, Mia endured major bone-graft surgery. Her surgeon, Dr. David Genecov, removed bone

"One might imagine Mia has a reason to frown from all her surgeries and suffering.

In reality, she has grown to smile all the brighter."

Cole, giving his new baby sister a kiss (top) Baby Mia dressed for her dedication (center) Brave Mia after her first surgery (bottom) 14

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from Mia's left hip and placed it in the cleft of her upper jaw. Her recovery required a mouth splint and twelve weeks of no chewing. One might imagine Mia has a reason to frown from all her surgeries and suffering. In reality, she has grown to smile all the brighter.

To understand the struggle associated with cleft lip and palate, let's examine some facts. According to the Mayo Clinic, "Cleft lip and palate are openings or splits in the upper lip, the roof of the mouth (palate), or both. Cleft lip and cleft palate result when facial structures that are developing in an unborn baby don't close completely." The lip and palate form in the second and third months of pregnancy. In the United States alone, the Center for Disease Control (CDC) estimates that 2,518 babies are born each year with a cleft lip and palate. About 1,402 babies are born with only a cleft lip and 2,333 with only a cleft palate. Cleft lip and palate are among the most common birth defects.

Researchers believe most cases of cleft lip and cleft palate stem from a combination of genetic and

environmental factors. Several risk factors may increase the likelihood of a baby developing cleft lip/palate.

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Parents with a family history of cleft lip/palate carry a higher risk of a cleft for their babies.

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Research shows women who smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, or take certain medications may increase the likelihood of a cleft lip/palate in their children.

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Some evidence indicates a higher risk for children of women diagnosed with diabetes before pregnancy.

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Being obese during pregnancy may also increase the risk of cleft lip/palate.

"We had a huge support system with our family," says Missy. "But a lot of people don't have that."

Infants born with a cleft lip/palate face challenges in proportion to the severity of the opening. The most urgent concern following birth is the ability to feed.

While most babies with a cleft lip can breastfeed, a cleft palate can make sucking difficult. Children with clefts are at a greater risk for ear infections and hearing loss.

Tooth development may also be affected if the upper gum is open. Because the roof of the mouth helps us form sound, a cleft palate can delay normal speech development, and words may sound nasal. Finally, differences in appearance and the need for extensive medical care may create social, emotional, and behavioral problems in children with clefts.

Because problems come naturally with a cleft lip/ palate, the Robertson family appreciates the support they receive from medical professionals, family, longtime friends, and the new friends they discover on the journey. Missy stated, "Those with a cleft often have to work harder to live their lives the way they want to, but this does not need to be a bad thing. Overcoming trials is what shapes our identities and makes us stronger." After Mia joined the family, Missy said, "We had to figure out how to pay the bills." Although they were a middle-class family with health insurance, Jase and Missy still carried debt for years because of Mia's extensive medical needs and surgeries. "We had a huge support system with our family," said Missy. "But a lot of people don't have that."

Mia worked hard to put in the nessessary hours wearing her headgear.

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