Be A Man (May/June 2016)

SEVEN PROMISE KEEPERS CANADA

MEN / GOD / LIFE

BE A MAN! GOING BEYOND THE STEREOTYPES

SONS OF GOD WHAT THE BIBLE REALLY SAYS ABOUT MANHOOD

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CONTENTS

16

COLUMNS 6 // PK Podium Rites of Passage 8 // Lives Worth Leading Live a Life of Surrender 30 // Sports Scene Keeping Calm, Turner Jr. Tackles On

FEATURES 16 THE VULNERABLE MAN Being the strong, silent type, and never feeling as though there’s any room to be vulnerable can be exhausting, crippling even. That’s why we shouldn’t buy into it, says FamilyLife Canada co-director Neil Josephson. Sometimes “being strong” means admitting weakness—and asking for help.

20 BEING A MAN OF GOD: WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?

20

As males, we’ve been led to believe that living a faithful life ought to look a certain way, based on gender. But is there actually a biblical onus on us to do so? Tim Keener tackles gender roles in this month’s main feature.

32 // The Single Life What Makes a (Single) Man? 33 // Out of My Depth First One In, The Last One Gone

DEPARTMENTS 10 // The Pulse Bits. Blips. Beats. Blurbs.

12 // Music Reviews New Starts and Newsboys 34 // Power Play Toys. Tools. Technology.

26 COMFORTABLY NUMB

26

Has the word “meh” become a part of your regular vocabulary? Has finding the will to care become too much for you?

You’re not alone. And while we might find ourselves busy, it’s often not with the right things. It’s time to challenge your apathy—and get to work.

MAY / JUNE 2016 SEVEN 3

ON THE COVER

SEVEN is a Christian magazine for Canadian men that exists to help men lead more fulfilling lives and leave enduring legacies.

BE A MAN

Picture a “man” and your mind might wander to many familiar ideas. Beards.

Beers. Biceps. Fistfights. Fear of nothing and nobody. You get the idea. And in an age of increasing gender confusion and gender politics, it might seem like now is the time to dig our heels in and live into all the stereotypes we’ve come to expect over the years. But we’re not convinced. This issue of SEVEN, we go beyond the status quo to explore what it really means to be a man in Century 21.

The name reflects the seven promises that form the basis of the Promise Keepers organization, which works with churches to minister to men across Canada.

1 // A promise keeper is committed to honouring Jesus Christ through worship, prayer, and obedience to God’s Word in the power of the Spirit.

2 // A promise keeper is committed to pursuing Christ-centred friendships with a few other men, connecting regularly, understanding that he needs brothers to help him keep his promises.

3 // A promise keeper is committed to practicing biblical integrity: spiritually, morally, ethically and sexually.

4 // A promise keeper is committed to strengthening families and marriages through love, honour, protection, and biblical values.

5 // A promise keeper is committed to supporting the mission of his church by honouring and praying for his pastor, and by actively giving his time and resources.

6 // A promise keeper is committed to reaching beyond racial, social, economic, generational, and denominational barriers to demonstrate that power of biblical unity.

7 // A promise keeper is committed to influencing the world by his fervent love for God while loving his neighbour, seeking justice for the poor and oppressed, and making disciples of Jesus Christ.

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EDITORIAL

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KIRK GILES

Questions and comments

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Promise Keepers Canada

The PK Canada logo features a maple leaf, indicating our dedication to serve the men of Canada.

An arrow breaks into the maple leaf symbolizing the impact we believe God wants to see Promise Keepers and men making in our nation. A special thank-you to all the pastors who continually encourage us to communicate God’s truth with grace and love.

4 SEVEN MAY / JUNE 2016

podcasts

It’s now easier than ever to listen to the latest messages from Promise Keepers Canada! With just a few clicks, you can listen wherever you are. Get exclusive access to interviews and inspiring messages with:

Max Lucado John and Sam Eldredge Gary Thomas The Skit Guys Donald Miller and many others! promisekeepers.ca/podcasts

MAY / JUNE 2016 SEVEN 5

PK PODIUM

RITES OF PASSAGE

DON’T LET CULTURE SET THE STANDARD

BY KIRK GILES

W

hen did you know that you were a man? Many see themselves as a man when they are able to drive, drink, or vote. Others see themselves as becoming a man the first time they sleep with a woman. Many men may look at graduating from school as the moment when they become a man.

The reality is that far too many have never really thought about this question, and far too many males are still living like little boys.

Jesus is the model for being a man. He knew when to stand firm, and when to move in love towards someone. He could show mercy and still be strong.

He served, but was still a leader in the process. He lived with vision that was focused on more than just the moment, but was focused on eternity. He took responsibility for our wellbeing, even when it would have been easier to look out for Himself.

One of the more fascinating passages of Scripture takes place in Matthew 3:17, where God the Father declares: “This is my beloved Son; in Him I am well pleased.”

As God the Son, did Jesus really need this kind of affirmation? I doubt it. However, Jesus was also fully human, and I believe this affirmation was very powerful for Him on a human level. Jesus had not yet started His public ministry, and this moment was part of a series of events that launched Him to a new level of impact and influence.

Fathers have a powerful role to play in helping their boys towards become men. I have witnessed this firsthand with my own sons.

My wife and I made a decision that we would bless our children to becoming adults when they turned sixteen. We plan a special one-on-one trip for them, and have a time of praying and blessing them. For my sons, I use this trip as a time to tell them that I now think of them as being a man. I affirm the strengths they have, and I pray for their success in life. I also tell them that I will now communicate with them as I would any other man.

I did not know what kind of influence those moments of blessing had until many months or even years later. Just a few weeks ago, my second son, Josh, told me that the first time he saw himself as a man was when I said those words to him on our trip together. As parents, we have witnessed our children advance to new levels of spiritual maturity and development simply because of this blessing coming from their father or mother.

Moving from being a boy to being a man is such a critical rite of passage.

It is so important that we do not allow the culture to create those defining moments for our children.

As you read this edition of SEVEN, I want to encourage you to consider not just your own life, but how you are helping your son to know that he is a man, and to help him understand all that this means.

6 SEVEN MAY / JUNE 2016

KIRK GILES is the president of Promise Keepers Canada.

However, his most important roles as a man are husband to Shannon and father to Carter, Joshua, Sydney and Samuel.

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More than 50 chapters across Canada. Find them at www.ccbf.org MAY / JUNE 2016 SEVEN 7

LIVES WORTH LEADING

LIVE A LIFE OF SURRENDER

. . . VOLUNTARY OR OTHERWISE

BY COLIN MCCARTNEY

H

ernando Cortes was a to my boat I recommit my life to Spanish explorer who led Christ…then I continually break my an expedition to Mexico for commitment. Sound familiar? Maybe the purpose of capturing all of its what I need to do is go “Cortes” on immense treasures. Mr. Cortes was a my commitments and force myself to man’s man. He left Spain with eleven surrender to Christ instead. I need to ships and more than 700 men under burn me some boats! his command.

In Psalm 37:5 we read; After long months of sailing the harsh seas his convoy landed on “Commit your way to the LORD…” // NIV the shores of Veracruz in the spring of 1519. Upon arrival the first thing I am lousy at committing. However, Captain Cortes did was to have his what if this word “commit” means men empty the ships of all of their something different? I have studied cargo. Cortes’ men spent hours this passage and a better Hebrew carrying supplies, weapons and food translation for this word “commit” in from the ships onto the beach. When Psalm 35:7 is “roll onto”; they were finally finished, Cortes had his ships burned to the ground!

“Roll onto the Lord our ways…”

Why would he do such a thing?

What would drive him to destroy To “roll onto the Lord our ways” is their only escape route, their only deeper than commitment. It means to way home? Cortes did this because “give up” or “surrender” your life to the he knew that the exploration would Lord. There is a big difference between be tough. He knew that he and his “commit” and “surrender.” The former men would face hunger, loneliness, means you can do something on your extreme danger, rough travelling, own strength. The latter means you sickness and warring tribes. So he can’t do anything without the help stuck to his convictions of exploring of God. It’s been my experience that the land by burning the ships, and we are too weak to live 100 per centin so doing he eliminated any option committed lives. I’ve tried and so have for him and his men to quit when the you—how did that work for you? This going got tough. Like it or not, all of is why we must “roll over our ways” them were now fully dedicated to by surrendering our lives to God. We succeed because there was no way must give up and surrender! out! There was no turning back. Talk Cortes understood that human about involuntary surrender. commitment wouldn’t work under the As leaders we must hold true to burden of a few trials he and his men our convictions. And I admit, this would inevitably face. He had enough is very hard to do. There are many self-awareness to know that by their fears, temptations and trials we deal own strength and commitment, their with. It’s easy for us to return to our desire to explore Mexico would not boats and give up in exploring life last very long. It was for this reason with Jesus. Each time I fall and return he conceived the idea of a forced

8 SEVEN MAY / JUNE 2016

surrender by doing the unthinkable— burn the ships!

A friend of mine takes surrendering seriously. He’s a workaholic. He could never keep his commitment to prioritize his time for his family. So, he went all “Cortes” on himself and burned his work week to the ground by submitting his daily, weekly and annual schedule to his accountability group. Each week they review his calendar and call the shots by burning some of his business meetings to the ground by replacing them with family times. Without this group he knows his time would be spent at work far away from the true priorities of his life. Let’s follow his example and get help in involuntarily surrendering and utterly destroying things that cause us compromise so that we stay true to God, our wives, family, church and mission.

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.” // ROMANS 12:1 It won’t be easy but after a while the smell of the burn of involuntary sacrifice will bring you closer to God and His righteous ways.

/ COLIN MCCARTNEY is an ordained minister, speaker, and a bestselling author. He is also the founder of UrbanPromise Toronto and now leads Connect Ministries in Toronto where he, his wife Judith, and their two children reside. You can reach him at cmmccartney@mcec.ca.

THE PULSE

BIGGER THAN BEARDS

The Many Ways of Being Manly

FROM THE EDITOR

BY ROB HORSLEY

10 SEVEN MAY / JUNE 2016

EDITOR’S DESK / About a year ago, my wife was a bridesmaid in her friend’s wedding. As our daughter was only a little more than six months old at the time, still breastfeeding, and happened to be one of those troublesome kids who just refused to take a bottle, it made for a bit of a complicated day, needless to say.

Given that at that time my wife and daughter had never really been apart for the better part of a day, the best solution we could come up with was for me to follow the bridal party around after the ceremony while pictures were being taken. When my wife had a few minutes, she’d top up the baby before moving on to the next thing. It was during one of the between-feedings moments when I received a strange comment from the one of the bridal party parents.

“So you’re Mr. Mom today, huh?”

Now, it’s not typically like me to get lippy with someone in public, much less with a total stranger. Sure, maybe I’d write them into an article afterwards and hope they never read it, but face-to-face retorts? Not really my forte.

But for whatever the reason, at this moment there was only one response that came to mind: “Well, normally I go by ‘Dad,’ but yeah. Guess it’s mostly just me today.”

Almost nervously, the man (who I’m sure was a perfectly nice guy and was just making conversation) backpedalled from his earlier remarks and we talked about something else. It’s not like he meant anything by it—

but nevertheless, I felt as though in that moment, I needed to make a point: I’m no babysitter—I’m this little girl’s father. This idea, however innocuous it might have been, that I might have had something better to do than take care of my daughter, or that I was somehow moving in on my wife’s turf…I wasn’t having it. Being the go-to caregiver for today doesn’t make me any less of a man.

If anything, I’d say quite the opposite.

I don’t know how to change my own oil. I’ve never been on an actual hunting trip. And to be perfectly honest with you, I don’t really care for dogs all that much. I mean, it’s fine if you have one, but they’re just not my thing. By popular definitions, I guess you might say I’m not much of a “man’s man.”

But when you really think about it, what does that phrase even mean?

When you think of what a “man” looks like, a few ideas might come to mind immediately. Maybe it’s some beardy fellow with big biceps and a plaid shirt. Maybe it’s some dude with a bushy moustache going to town on some big ol’ rack of ribs or a tasty sirloin. Maybe it’s not even as farfetched as that. Maybe your image of a man is that of the protective dad, who just-so-happens to be cleaning his shotgun on the porch when his teenage daughter brings her new boyfriend home for dinner for the first time. Sure, he might be warm and fuzzy on the outside,

I felt as though in that moment, I needed to make a point: I’m no babysitter— I’m this little girl’s father.

but when it comes to his little girl, “You got another thing comin’, son.”

Whatever your picture happens to be, it seems like more than a few of us guys won’t ever live up to what culture says we ought to look like. And it’s not as though any of the aforementioned models of masculinity are bad in their own rights. It’s just that the truth of what being a man entails goes far beyond what any magazine cover or old-timey tobacco ad might be trying to sell you.

Maybe this comes from having been alive for too few of the last several decades, but I find myself a little perplexed when fellows a little older than myself yearn for days gone by, when “men were men” and…well, you get the idea. It just doesn’t make sense to me why we’d want to take all of the freedom that men enjoy nowadays to be interested in or good at any number of things, and turn us into…I don’t know, lumberjacks, I guess?

(Not that there’s anything wrong with being a lumberjack, mind you…)

Look, here’s what I’m trying to say: it’s my opinion that being a man isn’t a look, or even a specific persona we need to embody. I’m not convinced that there’s any onus on us as males to be Mr. Fix-Its, rugged outdoorsmen, sports fanatics, or inherently distrusting of the people our daughters (or sons, for that matter) choose to bring home for supper.

Sure, there’s room for folks like that in this great mosaic we call manhood. I’m just saying it makes for a pretty boring picture if we only dip the brush into one colour.

What I do think we’re called to be as men are people who our spouses and children can look up to: a listening ear, a helping hand,

and a voice of guidance—and correction, if need be. We should be the kind of people that make our families, our churches, and our communities at large better places to be through our involvement in them.

This doesn’t need to look a certain way, or conform to any cultural stereotype…but nevertheless, we are called to be people who use the gifts God has given us, however different those might be, for His glory.

In case you haven’t noticed, this issue of SEVEN talks a lot about what it means to “be a man.” And much of the conversation has to do with these cultural presumptions about what it looks like to act like a man—whether or not we can be vulnerable in the context of our marriages, what it means to call ourselves “Sons of God,” or whether or not we’re actually doing anything of significance with our so-called busy schedules. Am I saying there’s no significant difference between men and women? Of course not.

But what I am saying is that perhaps as we begin this issue, we ought to think a little more broadly about what we can do as male members of God’s Kingdom. There are plenty of wrong ways to be a man. I’m just not convinced that not being able to grill a steak is one of them. As I’ve heard over the years from a good number of preachers, men and women, we tend to miss out something pretty significant if we turn the story we’re called to embody into simply a checklist.

And for the record, I love having tea parties with my little girl. I don’t care who knows about it. / RH

MAY / JUNE 2016 SEVEN 11

ODDS AND ENDS CARPENTER INVENTS ON/OFF SWITCH FOR CONTROLLING SPERM FLOW GERMANY / A new invention from German carpenter Clemens Bimek is aiming to “revolutionize contraception,” the inventor said in a story from The Telegraph, as later reported by The National Post.

Bimek says the idea first came to him through watching a While Bimek’s TV documentary about contraception more than 20 device might years ago. Upon discovering that be seen as no patents had ever been filed advantageous for such a device, he took it upon to traditional himself to make his own. vasectomy Twenty-five men are currently set to be the first procedures, round of test subjects this year due to for the device, which will be its nonimplanted on the vas deferens permanent over the course of a half-hour nature, some operation. According to the report from National Post, the doctors have device will be controllable expressed through an external switch concern. “beneath the skin of the scrotum.”

While Bimek’s device might be seen as advantageous to traditional vasectomy procedures, due to its non-permanent nature, some doctors have expressed concern over scarring or even clogging, should the valve remain closed for long periods of time.

(Telegraph, National Post)

MEN MORE THAN TWICE AS LIKELY TO CRY IN PUBLIC, MIRROR REPORTS UK / A report from tabloid The Daily Mirror claims that the “stiff upper lip” is a thing of the past, as men in modern-day Britain “admit to crying in public nearly three times as often as their dads.” On average, men cry approximately 30 times each year, for an average duration of two minutes and 18 seconds, Nicola Bartlett reports.

And while women still cry more than twice as often as their male counterparts, 79 per cent are more likely to do so away from prying eyes, as opposed to just 58 per cent among men.

Loss of a loved one, an emotional scene on television, hurting someone they love, or a distressing news report rounded out the top answers that survey participants listed as reasons for crying.

“I’ve got something in my eye” still tops the list for cover-ups among embarrassed public weepers, Bartlett reports.

(The Daily Mirror online)

12 SEVEN MAY / JUNE 2016

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MUSIC REVIEWS

BY STEVEN SUKKAU

LOVE RIOT

ASCEND

2.0

NEWSBOYS (Platinum Pop)

NINE LASHES (BEC Recordings)

CITIZEN WAY (Fair Trade Services)

THE MICHAEL Tait-helmed Newsboys return with Love Riot, an album that both borrows a sound from the past while looking to the future. The former DC Talk artist brings his signature voice to the long-running Christian band’s 18 th studio album, and it’s a powerful call to live for Christ, rather than according to the culture you find yourself in.

Kicking off the album, “Crazy” sounds reminiscent of 90s-era Jesus Freak DC Talk, both sonically and lyrically, speaking of Jesus’ counter culture message.

As Tait sings, “You gave up a throne for a cross and a grave, I wanna be that radical, fearless and fanatical… I don’t care if the whole world calls me crazy.”

The album continues to examine the cost and calling of following Christ in “Guilty.” Sounding more like the slow pounding pop of “We Believe” from 2014’s Restart, Tait sings, “If serving you is against the law of man…then I’ll stand right before the jury…then I want to be guilty.”

Love Riot is at turns rock, pop and electronic dance, employing soaring choirs as easily as synthesizers, together creating an album that is musically infectious while stirring deep held convictions.

WHILE MOVING away from their hard rock roots, Nine Lashes opens up new musical soundscapes with their fourth album, Ascend. The band has dropped its metal stylings for an electronic sound more at home in a dance club than a mosh pit. Tracks like the psychedelic “Heartbeats” or the funky “Deeper” harken back to the 80’s pop you’d hear on your favourite cassette mixtape.

Other tracks are stripped bare to acoustic bedrock like the worshipful “The Chosen,” or the piano-driven anthem “Glorious” which also serves to show how far the band has pushed itself into new territory.

However, through the transition Jeremy Dunn’s sharp lead vocals anchor the eleven tracks and act as a reminder of the fact this is still a Nine Lashes album.

Thematically, Ascend speaks of the importance of tuning out the noise of the world to remain true to Christ’s calling. As Dunn sings on “Eyes On You”… “You are the one that we have waited for… the hope in such a desperate world.”

While unexpected, Nine Lashes has decided to brave the great unknown and venture into new genres, but in the many surprise turns they may yet create new fans along the way.

CITIZEN WAY, formerly The Least of These, take their sound to the next level with 2.0. On the heels of 2013’s Love is the Evidence, which featured chart toppers like “How Sweet the Sound,” Citizen Way delves into a more polished, heavily produced sound—more electronic pop and a more distorted vocal sound than on albums past. However, the production never muddies lead singer Ben Calhoun’s powerful voice.

Fans of the more straightforward pop rock sound of the past may be surprised at the dance electronica trappings of 2.0, but a few tracks like ‘I Will’ bring back the acoustic guitar and piano and traditional drums.

Other tracks feel specifically recorded with an eye to the dance club rather than the coffeehouse. Album closer “Bulletproof” is downright groovy, placing Calhoun’s falsetto to great work and will no doubt spark impromptu dance sessions in the kitchen.

However, the new direction pairs well with the theme of the 2.0; moving deeper and higher into our calling in Christ in response to the Spirit’s leading.

However, following that leading and embracing the new sometimes means leaving the old behind, as Calhoun sings on “Set it on Fire”... “This is the heart reset, this is the 2.0, this is the wave goodbye, or is it hello?”

/ STEVEN SUKKAU works for Golden West Radio and resides in Winkler, Manitoba.

14 SEVEN MAY / JUNE 2016

There’s more.

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There’s more to this world and this life than the media will ever tell you, secondhand. Maybe you need to man up and find out for yourself—find out the truth of God’s mission, your place in it and, in doing so, find yourself. But where to begin?

Talk with us to find your fit in mission.

We’re over 3,000 who demonstrate and proclaim the Gospel in more than 110 countries. We know there’s more.

Contact us @ 1 877 487 7777 info.ca@om.org www.om.org

MAY / JUNE 2016 SEVEN 15

THE

MAN

16 SEVEN MAY / JUNE 2016

FEATURE

WHERE REAL STRENGTH COMES FROM

BY NEIL JOSEPHSON

W

ho would ever want to be vulnerable? I put “vulnerable” into the cbc.ca search engine a while back and here is a little of what that day’s news served up:

• vulnerable kids were in need of food • vulnerable adults were in need of protection • the housing market was vulnerable to collapse • a hockey player was injured because he put himself in a vulnerable position So I ask again, who would ever want to be vulnerable? The term means “to be susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.” That sounds like something we should avoid—don’t you think? It sure sounds like the opposite of being strong. And if real men are strong then it is logical to conclude that a real man should not be vulnerable. Well, that may be logical…but it’s a lie. And, like all lies, it will destroy us.

The heart of the problem is this—we are taught that vulnerability and strength are at opposite ends of the same continuum. If we buy into that, our attempts to be strong will be focused on protecting ourselves from anyone who could hurt us or from any situation where we might fail. I know these are real temptations because I am a man who wrestles with them. I have also worked with men my entire adult life and I see guys buy into these lies over and over again. But it doesn’t work.

Here’s why: the primary tool for trying to protect ourselves is hiding and the primary motive for hiding is fear.

Hiding and fear keep us from living into our potential to be truly strong and Godly men I grew up the youngest child in the shadow of two very gifted siblings.

They were at the top of their classes academically, so when I came along the teachers had some pretty lofty expectations. I was afraid

MAY / JUNE 2016 SEVEN 17

“FEAR OF FAILURE HAS INDUCED MANY OF US TO SIMPLY NOT TRY, NOT ENGAGE, NOT RISK, NOT MAKE OURSELVES VULNERABLE TO DISAPPOINTMENT AND FAILURE.” I couldn’t measure up so I chose not to play. Between skipping school and a general lack of effort, I barely graduated high school. Have you ever done something like that? In an effort to sustain your image of invulnerability, your illusion of strength, you just didn’t compete?

Fear of failure has induced many of us to simply not try, not engage, not risk, not make ourselves vulnerable to disappointment and failure. Perhaps at work we should be stepping up or speaking out. But we don’t—because we’re afraid of the outcome.

Maybe at home we should be more engaged in the nurture and spiritual formation of our children, but we step back because we are hiding from our own failings.

In our marriages, many of us know we could be more tender and loving to our wives but we are paralyzed by fears of feeling silly, of doing things the wrong way, of failing to be the man of her dreams. So we hide behind a cloak of false strength.

We must learn and relearn this simple truth: it takes strength to be vulnerable and being vulnerable builds strength. The strongest, most fearless New Testament preacher put it this way: “So if Christ keeps giving me His power, I will gladly brag about how weak I am. Yes, I am glad to be weak or insulted or mistreated or to have troubles and sufferings, if it is for Christ. Because when I am weak, I am strong.”

(2 Corinthians 12: 9-10).

Hiding and fear keep us from being faithful and fearless friends and husbands Relationships are the perfect example of what it means to be vulnerable, to be susceptible to both being loved and being hurt. Vulnerability is the stuff relationships are made of. And if we are going to be the strong men God created us to be, we will have to learn to be vulnerable in at least two relationships: with trusted male friends and with our spouse. Each of us needs some male friends that we do not hide from. The kind of men we are not afraid to be honest with—men who won’t be dishonest with us.

And if we are married, we need to be vulnerable to our wives. My wife Sharol and I have been married for 37 years and have worked full time in marriage education for the last eleven years. We’ve talked to literally thousands of couples. We can tell you for certain: being vulnerable is essential to a healthy marriage. You see, love grows best in an environment of trust, a place where we are both fully known.

This can’t happen when we are hiding. None of us intend to undercut our marriage, but it can easily happen. We want to feel respected. We want our wife to think the best of us, to trust us and look to us for strength and security.

These are all good things, but they turn against us when we try to accomplish them in unhealthy ways.

In order to impress her with our strength, we try to hide our weakness.

To inspire her trust in us we hide the truth, we become a little dishonest,

18 SEVEN MAY / JUNE 2016

which is a particularly untrustworthy behaviour.

In an attempt to make her love us more, we pretend to be what we are not.

Motivated by fear and probably some pride too, we are false to our spouse instead of vulnerable.

There are only two outcomes to this strategy, and they’re both bad: we can succeed in the deception and then live in fear of being found out, losing intimacy every day we live the lie. Or we can fail in our attempts to hide and then live with the broken trust that is a natural consequence.

But there is a better way.

First, let’s resist the temptation to pretend to be a better man, let’s actually be a better man. As we grow in character and faith, our wives will respect us, trust us, feel safer and more secure with us.

Second, let’s move towards vulnerability. Baby steps. I guarantee you’ll see results in your marriage. Here’s the little-known secret: most wives measure intimacy by vulnerability. When we are more open with our wives more often, they feel closer to us, open up to us in return and the relationship spirals upward. The more withdrawn, silent and hidden we are, the riskier the relationship feels to them and inevitably they pull back emotionally which makes us draw back even further and the relationship spirals down. If you are married, I am betting your relationship is in one of these spirals. Choose the upward one! Be strong. Take the risk. Engage. Be vulnerable.

Far too often, when men ask me about strength and weakness in marriage, they are talking almost exclusively about power — who has it, how to get it, keep it and use it. I like to point them to the example of Jesus, “Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant.” (Philippians 2: 6-7)

Hiding and fear keep us from being intimate with God our Father

“IT TAKES STRENGTH TO BE VULNERABLE AND BEING VULNERABLE BUILDS STRENGTH.”

The same spirit that strives to be invulnerable to our friends and to our spouse will keep us at a distance from our Heavenly Father as well.

I have seen it in the men I work with. I see it in myself.

We work hard to earn God’s approval. We compare ourselves to other guys or judge others.

We find it hard to confess our failures and like Adam we work hard to cover our shame and even try to hide from God. We attempt to be strong, in the eyes of God and of others, by being invulnerable. But that is not God’s way. “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” (1 Peter 5:5).

I have seen it over and over in my life and in others’—when we seek in our own efforts to be strong, invulnerable even, we fail. We will never be stronger than when we quit trying to hide from God and instead get on our knees, humble ourselves and ask him to forgive us and lead us.

Let me ask one last time: who would ever want to be vulnerable? I do, because I want the intimacy that comes with it—with my friends, my wife and my God. How about you?

/ NEIL JOSEPHSON, along with his wife Sharol, is the co-director of FamilyLife Canada, a ministry of Power to Change, and resides in the greater Vancouver area. For more information on their work, visit FamilyLifeCanada.com.

MAY / JUNE 2016 SEVEN 19

FEATURE

BEIN “MA OF G

WHAT DIFFERENCE

SEEKING A DIFFERENT

BY TIM K

20 SEVEN MAY / JUNE 2016

NG A AN” GOD

E DOES IT MAKE?

TYPE OF MASCULINITY

KEENER

MAY / JUNE 2016 SEVEN 21

W W “AN IMPORTANT PART OF THIS JOURNEY HAS BEEN LEARNING HOW MY IDENTITY AS A MAN FITS WITH MY IDENTITY IN CHRIST.”

22 SEVEN MAY / JUNE 2016

hile I was on a trip to Chicago, I got a proud request from my oldest son back in Montreal: “Dad, when you get back, can you teach me how to shave?” It was a reminder that my boys are growing up quickly. Facial hair is just one of the undeniable marks of this journey to becoming a man.

I remember as a boy watching my dad work with wood. I loved the smell of fresh sawdust but hated the loud noise of the machines. I felt inadequate because I flinched tightly every time he would drive a nail with his huge hands.

These experiences with him are a part of my journey that I wouldn’t trade for anything. I’ve since moved from son and brother, to husband and father. An important part of this journey has been learning how my identity as a man fits with my identity in Christ.

THE CHALLENGE OF PROFILING MASCULINITY Exploring masculinity is no easy task in the Church today. There are two important poles that keep us in healthy tension. One pulls us toward gender equality in our identity in Christ—“There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus (Gal. 3:28).” The other pulls us toward gender uniqueness—“So God created mankind in His own image… male and female He created them (Gen. 1:27).” If we are diligent, I think we will find our best answers within this biblical tension.

Beyond the biblical tension, we find ourselves in the midst of rapid changes in social attitudes about gender and sexuality. As society’s rules bend and definitions become more diffused, the Church is required to reflect and respond with wisdom, compassion, courage, and hope. Although turbulent at times, this is an excellent opportunity for the Church to reflect and grow. This growth requires thoughtful theological reflection but also teachable hearts. Only with divine help can we discern what to confront in others

as well as what to confront in ourselves.

I see two unique dangers in how we respond to the question of what it means to be a man. The first would be to over-emphasize our masculinity, which of course is problematic because the masculine experience varies from person to person, and from culture to culture.

The greater theological problem with this is establishing any idea of “being a man” as a perquisite for God’s love or acceptance. The opposite challenge would be to under-recognize the reality of gender, which is an undeniable part our identity, both born and socially reinforced.

In the Church, men have been told they ought to “man up” to their masculinity.

On the streets, the growing conclusion is that we would be better off without masculinity or femininity… that we would all just be people. Again, it is this tension that can bring things into better focus. All women and men are created in God’s image, and while my identity in Christ is not based on my gender, I do find my identity in Christ—as a man. As Christ redeems me, He renews this foundational aspect of my identity.

MASCULINITY IN SCRIPTURE Searching for a “biblical masculinity” is also a perilous task. We must recognize our own individual and cultural biases, otherwise we simply end up cherry picking the qualities we want to see.

In reality, the Bible offers a range of masculinities, both positive and negative.

And, much of what we might want to value is not limited to men of course, but is exemplified by noble examples of women of the faith too. Any composite sketch must focus men at their best and at their worst, the fallen and redeemed examples of what it means to be a man.

A good place to start is the “father” of our faith, Abraham. The primary characteristic of Abraham as a man of God is his undying submission to God. Abraham is willing to follow God even when it includes rejecting his home

country and father’s religion of idol worship. But Abraham could only trust God because he knew Him deeply. Think about it—Abraham had no Bible, no Law, no Moses to lead him (he comes before all of these things). He only had an intimate relationship with God and an undying submission to Him. Abraham’s great grandson, Joseph, was babied by his father, excused from the hard work, and was known as a dreamer. He survived a murder plot as well as the seductive wife of Potiphar.

Joseph is known as a man of God not only because of his perseverance, his integrity, and especially for his mercy towards his treacherous brothers.

From Moses, we learn that “being” precedes “doing.”

Moses climbed mountains to seek and hear from God. He later established a rhythm of regularly going into the Tent of Meeting to be in God’s holy presence. These times of being with God allowed him to have vision and lead the people. The power of Moses and his community was their commitment to knowing God and radically reflecting His moral nature.

Opposite testimonies of masculine failure abound in Scripture. Gideon, Saul, and David are all tragic tales of leaders who defined masculinity by power, autonomy, and even promiscuity. They are unable to admit mistakes, do not trust in God, and ultimately try to pass the blame and cost on to others. Later rulers in Israel are characterized by entitlement and a loss of commitment to knowing God and walking in his ways.

We only see anger and defiance idealized when it is in response to these moral failures. The prophets speak in a unified voice calling the exiled people to “act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God” (Micah 6:8). Jesus rebukes the religious leaders of the day because they lived outwardly clean lives yet were not generous to the poor, neglected justice, and cherished their social status (Luke 11:37-43).

If anything is clear about what it means

“IF ANYTHING IS CLEAR ABOUT WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A MAN IN SCRIPTURE, IT IS THAT OFTEN IT MEANT WALKING COUNTERCULTURALLY TO THEIR CONTEMPORARY IDEAS OF MASCULINITY, NAMELY POWER AND GLORY.” to be a man in Scripture, it is that often it meant walking counter-culturally to their contemporary ideas of masculinity, namely power and glory. We see men defying their cultural masculinity and promoting alternative examples of men who sought God and embraced their need for Him. Or, as Susan Haddox summarized, in Scripture we find that: “If a man fulfills all of the categories of masculinity expected by society, such as honour, potency, and wisdom, but does not submit to God, he will not be favoured by God. On the other hand, a man obedient to God may fall short in one or more categories, but be chosen for leadership in God’s community.”

MAY / JUNE 2016 SEVEN 23

“WHILE MY IDENTITY IN CHRIST IS NOT BASED ON MY GENDER, I DO FIND MY IDENTITY IN CHRIST—AS A MAN.”

24 SEVEN MAY / JUNE 2016

REDEEMING MASCULINITY Being a “man of God” requires steering our masculinity towards God’s greater purpose. German theologian Jurgen Moltmann famously said, “It is not the Church that has a mission of salvation to fulfill in the world; it is the mission of the Son and the Spirit through the Father that includes the Church.” When we realize that masculinity is more of a startingpoint than an ending-point, we will find that God is redeeming us, as men, for His mission on earth.

A part of redeeming our masculinity may include reversing some status quos.

It certainly meant this for Jesus and for Paul—they both taught men to temper their aggressive and power-hungry tendencies. They also both gave higher status to women and included women in ministry. So, if we are going to ask what it means to be a man of God, it is only fair after all to ask, what does it mean to be a fallen man too? Is reversing this fallen nature a part of demonstrating Christ and the Gospel today? I believe so. I believe Jesus wants us to know what it means to be men, and to be humble…to be harmless…and to be helpful. This is not a weakened version of our masculinity; it is a bold and courageous reformation of it.

In Romans 12, Paul instructs us to “offer our bodies as living sacrifices to God.” He qualifies this as loving good, hating evil, showing honour to others, being ardent in serving, being patient in suffering, persevering in prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints (church leaders and members), and extending hospitality to strangers. Paul adds that the man of

God blesses rather than persecutes, does not seek revenge, and even cries when others cry. This doesn’t exactly look like the Jason Bourne kind of masculinity, but this redeemed kind of manhood is much tougher than it looks.

I was reminded of this recently when talking to a friend who escaped the Rwandan Genocide at age nine and returned to see the effects on his village at age 15. He explained to me the profound way this experience taught him not to hate: “When you choose hate and violence, you might feel better for a moment, but only for a moment. I have seen the men who live with a lifetime of guilt and pain because they chose hate and murder.”

For my friend Jean-Baptiste, being a “man of God” is living out Romans 12, no matter how much another man might want to come out. And in the end, I can’t think of a better way to describe masculinity—it’s being a man and submitting that man to God. Only in this way we call ourselves sons of God and brothers with Christ.

/ TIM KEENER is a pastor with the Evangelical Covenant Church of Canada.

He lives with his wife and four children in Montreal, Quebec, and has also lived and worked in the United States and France. Tim and his wife love to cook together and host others around their table.

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FEATURE

COMPLACENT IN OUR APATHY

Y

ou’ve probably heard it uttered before, or perhaps even, when overwhelmingly underwhelmed, said it yourself: “Meh....”

The etymology of it is up for debate, though origins in Yiddish, an evolution via the works of 19 th and 20 th century poets and humourists, and popularization over the last decade through recurring use on the long-running animated show “The Simpsons” are all frequently cited as part of its lexical story. A serviceable enough word to have warranted inclusion in Collins English Dictionary’s 30 th Anniversary Edition, “meh” is a simple exclamation or interjection expressing indifference, disinterest, or apathy. For example: “Hey, Don! How was the movie?”

“Meh....”

It is also a versatile enough word

26 SEVEN MAY / JUNE 2016

to stand in as an adjective, as in “The restaurant was really nice, but the food was meh....” Or, “I’ve been with the company for three years now; the job is meh, but the benefit package is good.”

These days there is no shortage of work for a word connoting pure lassitude, or for any other expression of half-heartedness and disinterest.

Each “meh,” “whatever,” or “I couldn’t care less” that is uttered (and they arise in our conversations every day) speaks volumes to the prevalence of apathy in our culture.

It is a true hallmark of 21 st century North American society, young and old alike. We are a difficult group to provoke to passion, except for a handful of issues (ie. what do you think of Donald Trump?).

Our apathy shows its presence in

BY GAVIN JENSEN

various ways, and in any and all arenas of life. Almost everyone has had a coworker who consistently fails to pull their weight on the latest project, or a lazy teammate who dogs it during practice, or a roommate who skips out on their share of the household chores.

It can also disguise itself under a cloak of noncomittment, going by the alias “keeping my options open.”

At times, it presents as simple neutrality, but apathy is most usually far from a benign impartiality. Truthfully, our apathy can pose some very real dangers for individuals, families, communities, and society. Apathy both creates and perpetuates problems!

Albert Einstein was picking up on this when he wrote in admiration of the great musician and advocate for peace, Pau Casals, that the cellist had a rare ability to understand that “the world is

in greater peril from those who tolerate or encourage evil than from those who actually commit it.” Consider: how many troubles or abuses have been allowed to continue for far too long, not because bystanders were oblivious or unaware, but because they were apathetic? It’s not for nothing that the early Church considered acedia (that’s sloth or apathy) as one of the seven deadly sins.

Our individual and communal apathy is deeply consequential.

While the roots of the word “meh” are a little convoluted, the word “apathy” has a clear lineage. It emerges via Latin from Greek words which mean “without feeling” or, more literally, “without suffering.” Apathy is, at its essence, a mechanism constructed (whether consciously or not) to avoid discomfort, pain, and suffering. And isn’t that exactly what we humans beings desire?

To be without suffering, free from pain!

We invest a good deal of our lives into self-protection, and establishing a comfortable life for ourselves—a life without suffering. If by avoiding a passionate and whole-hearted participation in life we can prevent suffering, even if it means that we might miss out on some of the high points and joys as well, then we will frequently opt for the way of apathy.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained we say, but also nothing lost—no suffering incurred. Pink Floyd sang it and we do our level best to live it: “I have become comfortably numb.”

Now, it might be our preference, but the truth is that apathy and avoiding suffering are hardly the path to life, at least not according to the wisdom of Jesus. The Gospel books, time and again, have the Master teaching His wouldbe disciples that the way to access and

THE WORLD IS IN GREATER PERIL FROM THOSE WHO TOLERATE OR ENCOURAGE EVIL THAN FROM THOSE WHO ACTUALLY COMMIT IT.

MAY / JUNE 2016 SEVEN 27

GOD AND OUR NEIGHBOURS MIGHT, AT TIMES, RECEIVE WHATEVER LEFTOVERS WE HAVE TO SPARE, BUT SO RARELY DO THEY GET OUR BEST. receive the true and abundant life that God makes available is through the act of giving up your best efforts for self-preservation and comfort, and embracing a life of self-sacrifice— even suffering—in kind with what is modelled by Jesus Christ Himself.

“Then Jesus told His disciples ‘If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.’” (Matthew 16:2425). These words of the Master should feel sharp and piercing enough to penetrate through our anaesthetized skins, and full of enough promise to provoke our hearts to a life of faith, hope, and love.

None of us are born (or even born again) with any natural immunity to the disease of apathy, and this

28 SEVEN MAY / JUNE 2016

soul-numbness is present in the life of the Christian community and the Church just as it is everywhere else in our culture. Even one’s devotion to God Himself is compromised. How often are the very best efforts and energy of those who call themselves Christians entirely used up on a short list of life’s most mundane “need to dos” as we find ourselves busy with work tasks and home upkeep? We quickly burn through our small gas tank of ardor, passion, and givea-hoot and, in short order, there’s nothing left to fuel a deepening interior life or ongoing and faithful missional living. God and our neighbours might, at times, receive whatever leftovers we have to spare, but so rarely do they get our best.

Dedicating time to formation and growth through study and prayer, meeting needs within the fellowship

of believers, making efforts to bless neighbours, participating in caring for “the least of these” (as in Jesus’ word picture in Matthew 25:3146) all fall by the wayside when our apparently limited resource of passion is consumed.

Apathy provides a fabricated baseline or minimum expectation for what is reasonable or required in the life of disciples. On rare occasion when we have the fortune of observing or knowing someone who lives with sincere passion for God and neighbour, who takes up a cross though it might be an embrace of suffering. We view them as an aberration. “They’re a radical...” we say. “They’re an anomaly.”

By doing so, we let ourselves off the hook for not doing any more, giving any more, caring any more. But the standard we’re supposed strive for is lofty! Jesus Himself is our role model; it’s His life we’re entreated by Scripture to imitate!

Does your life look like an imitation of Jesus’? Are your priorities in line with those shown through the witness of His life? Are you willing to pursue the will of God with the kind of fervor, passion, and faithfulness that endures even through suffering and death, and unto life? Or are you thinking, “meh...”?

In the book of Romans, Paul provides some provoking words as a challenge to the apathy of those who claim to be Jesus’ followers. They are for us just as they were for those first hearers: “Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honour. Do not lag in zeal, be ardent in spirit, serve the Lord” (Romans 12:9-11).

/ GAVIN JENSEN is a husband, father, pastor/church planter, and professional wrestling fanatic who lives in Winnipeg.

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SPORTS SCENE

KEEPING CALM, TURNER JR. TACKLES ON

CFL VETERAN EMBRACES NEW ROLE AS TEAM SPIRITUAL LEADER

BY CARTER BROOKS

W

ith helmets crashing, bodies colliding, blood dripping and adrenaline pumping, it is no secret that football is a violent sport. With all of that brutality, some may wonder how someone who claims to be a Christian would even consider playing football. But for all-star CFL defensive tackle Bryant Turner Jr., recently acquired by the B.C. Lions, that question has never been an issue.

“God has blessed me with this gift, to play this game and glorify his name in doing so,” Turner Jr. said. “If I do not do my absolute best on the field, I feel like I am sacrificing a gift that I have been blessed with, as opposed to

30 SEVEN MAY / JUNE 2016

taking advantage of it. I was carefully given this ability and I never want to leave the field with anything being held back at all.”

Turner Jr. understands that as an athlete he is placed on a stage for the world to see. He has made it his priority to evangelize the word of God whenever given the opportunity.

“God is working in so many ways through my football career,” Turner Jr. said. “He has given me this talent so I can glorify Him in everything I do. Whether it is with all of the opportunities I have had for interviews, stories, or speaking engagements, I make sure to include His word; it is one way that I can

get the Good News out. Every time I speak I try to add something biblical, just letting the people know how the Lord is working in our lives.”

This knack for preaching may stem from the fact that Turner Jr. spent his developmental years in southern Alabama. Raised as a Christian within America’s “Bible Belt,” Turner Jr. was no stranger to the church.

“You probably hear people talk about how there must be a church on every corner, but if you are in the right city, there literally is a church on every corner,” Turner Jr. said.

“On top of Sunday school, I grew up attending church three or four times a week—it was embedded in me from

“God is working in so many ways through my football career,” Turner Jr. said. “He has given me this talent so I can glorify Him in everything I do.”

Photos courtesy of the Winnipeg Blue Bombers football club

the beginning. As I grew older, I made sure to stay around great guys, and watch what they do and the ways that they live.”

Now as a veteran player, the 280-pound defensive tackle knows that it is now his turn to be scrutinized by both teammates and the general public. As a leader on the defensive line, Turner Jr. tries to play in a way that sets an example as a Christian athlete in professional sports.

“I very rarely get a hot head on the field,” Turner Jr. said. “Don’t get me wrong, it has happened, but I just need to catch myself beforehand.

I know that I always have younger teammates watching to see if I am

going to do the right or the wrong thing, so that is definitely on my mind as a leader of this team.”

When on the field battling difficult competition, one may think that Turner Jr. would turn to a certain passage in his mind to help keep himself on the right path. However, he believes that playing football is enjoyable and simply the product of his training. The Scriptures tend to come to him in a different way.

“It’s when I’m pushing myself so hard in the weight room that those Scriptures become appealing to me,” Turner Jr. said. “I use everything I have learned and been taught as my motivation to keep working. But

on the field, it is a totally different feeling, like all of that hard work paying off; playing football is more of a fun feeling.”

As a long-serving member of the football team, Turner Jr. had recently stepped in to serve as a chapel leader for the Blue Bombers. This role involved organizing chapels and communicating many details with teammates and the team chaplain.

It is within this position that Turner Jr. found the solidarity that he carries with him moving forward.

“We meet once every week, as well as hold chapel right before our games,” Turner Jr. said. “Depending on how many brothers come out to our chapels, we can really have some deep conversations. Our goal is not to be Bible thumpers and hitting you on the head, but we do like to extend an open invitation: This is the time, this is the place, come if you are able.”

/ CARTER BROOKS is a news writer and sports columnist situated in Winnipeg, Manitoba. On top of reading and writing, coaching hockey is his favourite pastime. Carter can be reached at carterbrooks1994@gmail.com.

MAY / JUNE 2016 SEVEN 31

THE SINGLE LIFE

WHAT MAKES A (SINGLE) MAN?

NAUGHT OF GOOD THAT WE HAVE DONE…

BY PAUL H. BOGE

S

ometimes it helps to understand what something isn’t before we can understand what it is.

We are bombarded with definitions about what a man is supposed to be.

And if we are not careful, if we are not grounded in God’s Word, we can inadvertently buy into these false notions, instead of what God designed us as single men to be.

First, here’s what a man isn’t.

A man is not defined by success. The success a man has (or does not have) in his career, his social standing, his financial status, etc… is not success from God’s point of view. While there is nothing wrong with succeeding in any of these areas, success as a false identity creates an impossible jealousy/inferiority cycle. It builds on a sandy foundation in the hopes that outward achievements can mask the discontentment of the heart.

A man is not defined by marital status either. As singles there can be a temptation to believe that to be a man there needs to be a wife and children.

No doubt these are blessings, but the New Testament never links these with being a godly man.

32 SEVEN MAY / JUNE 2016

A man is also not defined by what others think of him, or even what he thinks of himself. When a man builds a false identity invariably there will be an unquenchable need to gain the approval of others, and even to gain his own approval. When a man does not measure up to these false standards, he can feel devastated. But as Paul says in 1 Corinthians 4:3: “I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself.”

So then what defines a man who is single?

A man is defined by the love, death, and resurrection of Jesus. A conviction about the love of God, and a constant focus on the cross and the risen Lord will make a single man unshakeable.

You have God’s stamp of approval not because of anything you have done, but in spite of anything you have done. This immediately destroys any lofty argument of pretending that success defines us. It does not. It is the love, death and resurrection of Christ that builds the true image of Christ in a man. The more we focus on this truth the stronger the image

of Christ will be formed in us.

A man is also defined by how he chooses to respond to Christ on a moment-by-moment basis. Faith, trust and reliance on God are the hallmarks of a godly man. One of the dangers of our westernized Christianity is that we are increasingly picking and choosing what we like and don’t like in the Bible. But as we become “poor in spirit”—as we humble ourselves under God and choose to accept his truth in each and every circumstance in our life—we will become the men God calls us to be.

It takes courage to live by God’s definition of a man in a culture that increasingly opposes this view.

But as we allow Christ to define us, His life will push out the false definitions of manhood, and we will live as Christ has called us as single men to live.

/ PAUL H. BOGE is single and lives in Winnipeg. He is an author, filmmaker and works as an engineer. You can reach him at Paul@paulboge.com.

OUT OF MY DEPTH

FIRST ONE IN, THE LAST ONE GONE

TIPS FOR LEADING WELL

BY PAUL CARTER

I

n a leadership class I run for women in our church, several ladies asked me a question I’ve been asked a time or two before: “What does it look like for a man to lead in the home?”

The question wasn’t theological— we had wrestled with the passages in the Bible that addressed the issue from that perspective—it was more practical. In essence, these ladies were asking what headship looks like at street level. My answer ran along these lines:

1. WAKE UP FIRST As I read the Bible it seems to me that leadership is first and foremost about prayer and study of the Word. While the early Church was very engaged in organizing mercy ministries for the poor, the Apostles understood that if they were to provide leadership to this ministry they would need to be people of prayer. They asked the Church to nominate a group of leaders who could organize the food ministry, saying: “But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the Word.” // Acts 6:4 ESV I don’t think the point of the story is that the Apostles were above being involved in the food ministry. I think the point is that leaders need to be in a position to receive instructions and guidance that can benefit the entire group.

I feel that it is important for me as a husband and father to be the

first person out of bed six days out of seven. I wake up first and I sit in my study and read the Word and then I get down on my knees and I pray. I set aside an hour each morning to do this. This isn’t “work time.” I might be a pastor, but I don’t do this at church and I don’t do this “on the clock.” I do this as a man who wants to speak to God about his family and to his family about his God.

2. PAY YOURSELF LAST As I contemplate the example of Jesus it seems to me that leadership is about sacrifice on behalf of others. Jesus said: “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” // Mark 10:45 ESV A leader serves others at great cost to himself.

As a husband and father I feel like it is my responsibility to ensure that my wife and children are well taken care of. Practically speaking, this means that my wife’s car is far nicer and more expensive than mine.

For us it meant making sacrifices so that she could stay home with the children—something she was very eager to do. It also means saving for our children’s education. We took out an RESP when my youngest was just a baby and we have continued to put money away every month ever since for 18 years. It often means going without toys or luxuries. I don’t golf or own a snowmobile and I had to sell my motorcycle to a friend, but that’s

what it means to be a man. A man pays himself last.

3. TEACH THE WORD OF GOD ALWAYS The Bible tells parents to hide the Word of God in their hearts and to teach it to their children diligently, in the house, as you walk, when you go to bed and when you rise. (Deuteronomy 6:69) Leadership in the home, means leadership in the Word.

For me this involves taking responsibility for family worship.

We try and read the Bible with our children five times a week. We do this after dinner around the supper table.

The children get their Bibles and we read a chapter or sometimes less and I try to help them understand what they are reading. Afterwards I ask them questions from our church catechism booklet and give out candies for correct answers. At the end we pray around the circle for our friends and loved ones before reciting the Lord’s Prayer.

This seems intimidating to some folks, but the truth is that you only need to be one chapter smarter than your kids. Read to your kids what you read that morning. There are lots of resources that can help you understand the Bible so that you can teach it effectively to your children.

/ PAUL CARTER is a husband, father, and the lead pastor at First Baptist Church in Orillia, Ontario. For more from Paul, visit www.adfontes.ca/blogs/rmm or check out www.blueletterbible.org.

MAY / JUNE 2016 SEVEN 33

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ROKU STREAMING STICK—INSIGNIA TV

// roku.com

The new Roku Streaming Stick is perfect for cord-cutters looking for an affordable and convenient way to stream video content via the Internet. For about $60, this pocket-sized device connects viewers to hundreds of streaming channels, including big names like Netflix and CraveTV. You can control the Streaming Stick with the Roku remote, or download the Roku app to your iOS and Android device. When you control the Streaming Stick from your own device you can use your headphones to listen to what’s on TV—no wires needed to connect to the TV audio.

When you search for a movie or TV show, the Roku interface shows results from all available sources on one screen—very handy. You can also use advanced search features to notify you when a movie or TV show becomes available from any streaming source.

The Roku Streaming Stick remembers your settings so you can easily move it to another TV or take it to a friend’s house or a cottage—all you need is a Wi-Fi connection at the new location. Roku even has a special mode for travel, to make it easier to connect in a hotel or dorm room where a login or password is required to use the Internet.

Roku has also partnered with Insignia to make two new TV sets with Roku software built in. The 43” LED 4K Ultra HD Insignia Roku TV sells for about $600. The 50” model sells for $600.

34 SEVEN MARCH / APRIL 2016

UNDERWATER BREATHER

// tritongills.com

James Bond had one. Batman keeps one in his utility belt. Now you too can have a portable oxygen respirator and swim underwater without an oxygen tank using Triton Gills.

The respirator is easy to use. You gently bite into the mouthpiece, breathe normally, and enjoy your underwater freedom. The device is powered by a modified lithium-ion battery that should give you 45 minutes to swim among tropical fish (and keep an eye out for sharks).

The key ingredient in these artificial gills is Microporous Hollow Fiber, which Triton describes as “a pioneering technology that keeps water molecules out, and lets oxygen in.” That sounds science-y, and maybe a little bit fishy.

Triton says their respirator is perfect for anyone who loves snorkelling and exploring the ocean. For more information see tritongills.com

MINI BRICKS

// minimaterials.com

How many cinder blocks can you pick up and hold over your head? One? Maybe two?

I can hold a dozen in each hand. You can too.

Mini Materials are scale model building materials that look just like their full size counterparts. For just $20 you can get a pack of 24 cinder blocks made with real cement. The blocks ship on a tiny wooden pallet that you can use as a drink coaster.

What can you do with Mini Materials? The same projects you would do with full size building materials, only smaller. Line up a row of cinder blocks and apply mortar to build a wall or to lay the foundation for a ver y small building.

Mini Materials bricks are made to standard 1/12 modelling scale so your little subdivisions will feel right at home with other scale models.

SHARKBANZ

// sharkbanz.com

Sharkbanz offers peace of mind for swimmers and surfers who are concerned about shark attacks. The company sells a wearable device that promises to keep sharks away using magnetic waves. Once you strap on a Sharkbanz you can head for the beach with confidence, knowing that you’re protected...by powerful magnets.

Here’s the deal: according to Sharkbanz, sharks rely on their “electro-receptors” to “see” where they’re going in murky waters.

They say some shark attacks are simple misunderstandings. A curious shark may bite a person “in order to figure out what he or she is.”

As a shark approaches, magnetic waves from the Sharkbanz will disrupt its electro-receptors. For the shark, this experience is like having a bright light shone directly in its eyes.

Sharkbanz use no chemicals, batteries, or electricity, so you don’t have to charge it or worry about storage care. Just strap one on when you arrive at the beach, and relax. Sharkbanz are available in three colours: slate, seafoam, and azure blue.

The company says Sharkbanz wearables reduce the risk of shark attack significantly but do not guarantee your safety. They will not keep sharks away from “visible bait.” The device is only meant to “deter curious sharks from biting a person while in investigative mode.” In other words, stay out of the water if you’re bleeding. Powerful magnets can only provide so much protection.

KINDLE VOYAGE

// amazon.ca/voyage

Many avid readers are still skeptical about electronic books, but it’s hard to argue with a great reading experience. Amazon’s new Kindle Voyage is light and thin, so it’s easy to hold and read for hours.

Voyage features a bright, high-resolution display and has a front light that adjusts automatically to the brightness (or darkness) of the surrounding light. (Tell your Mom: you can now read a book under the covers and not hurt your eyes!) Battery life is measured in weeks rather than hours, and there are no distractions—Kindle has no apps, texts or emails to interrupt your reading experience.

Kindle Voyage introduces a new way for Kindle devices to turn pages. Simply rest your thumb on the edge of the screen and press lightly to turn the page. Also new is the angular magnesium back, and 4 GB of storage—enough to hold a shelf full of books. You get all this in a 7.6mm package—the thinnest Kindle so far.

Kindle Voyage comes with instant access to the Kindle Store, which offers millions of books, including more than 190,000 French-language titles. For more information on Kindle Voyage, visit amazon.ca/voyage.

36 SEVEN MARCH / APRIL 2016

EDC BIKE KIT

// kaufmann-mercantile.com

Kaufmann Mercantile’s EDC (Every Day Carry) is like a charm bracelet for tools.

You choose from a small connection of pocket-friendly tools and build a toolkit that always goes with you. The idea is to keep the kit as simple as possible, featuring items that do a lot while taking up as little space as possible.

The EDC Bike Kit one example of the sets you can make. The Bike Kit is a pre-selected set of pocket-friendly tools for cyclists, including two hex keys for on-the-road adjustments, a pair of mini pry bars for tire changes, and a glowin-the-dark compass you can use if you get lost. Each tool can be attached and removed from the U-shaped brass key ring that holds it all together.

For full information about the EDC system and all the available tools, see kaufmann-mercantile.com

RUCKUS BIKE

// coastcycles.com

Ruckus is a modern bicycle built for two that looks more like an offroad mountain bike. Unlike the classic tandem bicycle, Ruckus is not slender or romantic. It features a thick sturdy frame and big chunky wheels that are ready for anything. The custom lounge seat is extra long to accommodate an extra passenger who comes along for the ride. Disk brakes and an electric motor assist complete the picture.

Coast Cycles has more fun, rugged bike designs besides the Ruckus, with names like Atom, Goliath, and Juggernaut. See coastcycles.com

/ SANDY MCMURRAY writes about games, toys, and gadgets at funspot.ca.

NEXT ISSUE

Look, we get it. In a world where everyone and everything seems to be constantly crying for help, knowing where to start can be tough. After all…you’re just one man. But whether it’s on your own or as part of a team, whether it’s on a big scale or here in your community, whether it’s through art, activism, or extending a helping hand…everyone is called to have an impact. Be sure to check out our next issue, where we showcase a few fine folks who are doing their best to do just that—make a difference in the world around them.

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