2005-9-15-pine-press

Pine Press

September 15, 2005

Next Issue’s Theme:

INDIE

ROCK! Tell us about your favorite band that no one’s ever heard of, tell us about your former favorite band who everyone just started to hear of this year and now they suck and really it has nothing to do with their new popularity and everything to do with the new album being just plainly bad, right? And tell us what albums you wish you’d never bought because they make you weep pretty much daily, tell us why our taste is lousy and really ought not to consist of the band you liked, like, three friggin’ years ago, right? And send that to pinepress@gmail.com by September 27 to have them included in our INDIE ROCK! themed issue.

From the Editor...

I was thinking about having this issue be entirely Pink Floyd themed. You know, kids on a conveyer belt get ground up into brick laying material, a crazy old brit screaming about eating your meat. But, so I've already had whole issues about things I don't care about. Like Ted Danson. I don't care about Ted Danson. I don't care about about his purported prowess with the ladies. I don't care about Becker, Saving Ryan's Privates, or Gulliver's Travels: TV Movie. I sort of like Cheers still. That was a pretty good show. I get nostalgic, and looking back, I can't decide if I'd choose Shelly or Rebecca. Tough choice, you've got to give it to Sam Malone, I mean, that takes real character, making that choice.

So what I'm saying is, this isn't a Pink Floyd issue because I don't even like Pink Floyd -- the only thing worthwhile is early Syd Barrett Pink Floyd. Everything else is just hackery. So stop playing them at the Peanut Barrel. Now. The theme of the next issue is not Pink Floyd or Ted Danson. The theme of the next issue is not Hemorrhoids or Janet Jackson. The theme of the next issue will be Indie Rock. So get on it: pinepress@gmail.com is the address to which to send your submissions by Tuesday September 27.

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And now: The McCarty Fine Print

The Pine Press is the Official Fortnightly Publication of the MSU Student Housing Co-Operative (SHC) 541 Grand River East Lansing, Michigan 48823 517-355-8313 coop@msu.edu http://www.msu-shc.coop/

Board of Directors: I’m sure we’ll have one soon, but we don’t have one now.

Executive Committee: President: Arjun Jayaraman Executive Vice President: Ross Eames Vice President of Membership: Katelyn Hibbard Vice President of Education: Mike Langdon Corporate Treasurer: Jess Dalman

SHC Staff: One Who Runs the Show: Joan Bulmer All Around Good Guy: Evan Dayringer Mr. Fix-It: Stu Holmes

Pine Press Staff: Editor-in-Chief: Mike Langdon Contributing Editors: Coming Soon

—Mike Langdon

Contents: Next Issue’s Theme: School From the Editor Co-Op Government: Gosh It’s Mysterious The Poor Students Guide To Going Abroad Two Poems

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Co-Op Government: Gosh, It’s Mysterious Physical Development Equals Maintenance Ross Eames Executive Vice President

cers via e-mail, I dunno.

When Mike and Arjun are done with the great website we’ll all be happier more productive people. (You all love posting to internet forums I hope, lord knows I do) I’ll try to help those delinquents who are computerless or computer-clueless.

As the EVP I run the Physical Development meetings attended the maintenance officers from your houses. This semester the PD committee will be up to its old tricks like planning work weekends both for the whole of Mike Langdon SHC and also at your little home.

Some Guy We’ll also work on giving away a big fat juicy grant to each House this semester so Just off the top remember to be nice to your maintenance offiof my head, I can think of at least a few cer and maybe he/she things you might like will really listen when to know about: you ask for that brand 1. SHC has a new golf cart or hot tub or whatever. list-serve. Soon we House inspecwill have web-based tions are coming to forums, but in the you soon as well, so meantime, to subscribe make sure you remove send an email to — all extension cords, well let’s wait till I get Christmas lights, and past Evan here so it move all mini-fridges will all fit on one line, -Hey, Evan! to their own wall outI mean otherwise it’s -Yeah, Mike? let. (More info on how awkward and you -Where’d I put that picture of Ross? to pass inspection will might mistype it — -Did you have a picture of Ross? come from your house ok, msu_shcmaintenance offices soon) subscribe@yahoogroups.com is the address to This year our bright shining vision is to which you want to send an e-mail for info on make our houses all a little bit more wired. So co-op events and whatnot. don’t be surprised if you are asked to particiRoss Eames will not hesitate to call you a bad pate in a more electronic way. Maybe submit person after he hands you a rock and you throw it those house fix-its to your maintenance offiat a seagull. Mike Langdon is mad with power.

Just Off the Top of my Head

The Poor Student's Guide to Vacationing Abroad Barbara Ebel

Cuzco, Peru, dur. Come on, don’t tell me you’ve never been to Cuzco. C-come on.

I. Pick a country for which you can develop a borderline unhealthy fascination. Toying with psychosis is key to your success.

Spend some time in the travel section of your local bookstore. Sit on the floor in front of the shelf and start reading. Find a book with some good photos that you can remember and fixate on. At this point you should start thinking of who you'll con into going with you. Also, if you don't speak the language, now is the time to learn.

Next, go to a website like lonelyplanet.com and start reading the archives on your chosen country. Look for the rough guide, travel advisories, and finally the message board. The message board is a great way to quickly absorb experiences you may encounter when you get there. Find another English-language site that covers your country, and do some reading there too.

Go to a travel agency (recommend STA) and browse the trip pamphlets. You won't be taking any such organized tour (very expensive!), but the pamphlets can tell you what the most popular destinations and activities are.

They also provide rough timelines for how long it will take to get around, how much time you should allot to different activities, etc. Start to familiarize yourself with the maps of the country. Choose one or two regions that really interest you.

These travel pamphlets are a good source of photos of your destination. Cut some out and tape them to your bathroom mirror.

II. Start telling other people about your chosen country.

Make it interesting - talk about the language, the food, the archaeological sites, museums, and national parks.

Try to work bits of the language into your own speech.

Your desire to convey this information will cause you to read more on the subject. Start emailing relevant news articles to your cohorts.

If you don't have a passport, go to the post office and get an application. This is your first real monetary commitment, but remember - passports are good for 10 years. If you really have the travel bug and don't manage to travel in the next 10 years, it will probably

kill you, so $80 won't be a big deal either way. Be sure to tell EVERYONE why you're getting one. Find out if you'll need a visa.

Find out what sort of vaccinations might be recommended for your trip, based on destinations and length of stay. Call your insurance company and ask which ones are covered. If you do need vaccinations, make sure you know how long the process takes (in some cases up to 6 months).

Start putting away a few dollars here and there, for your airfare fund. You're a college student - you know how to cut corners and conserve cash. Ask your bank and credit card companies what their policy is for overseas withdrawals. Mention to family and friends that you have started saving. They'll admire your dedication, and this encourages them to drop you $10 here and there. Those who donate to your cause should be graced with more frequent and detailed updates.

Critical point here - if people give you money, you have to go, right?

It would be awkward and unkind to try giving it back.

ers begin to believe you.

IV. Now might be a good time to apply for the visa, if needed. Look into buying travel insurance. Start getting your shots. Convince the travel agency to give you updates on airfare deals. Get an ISIC card - $20 gets you discounts on hotels, airfare, trains, admission to museums, etc. Drop into the travel agency from time to time for encouragement.

Once your boss accepts that you'll be leaving, you can buy your plane ticket. Exhilaration will overcome you at this point. You are going to [insert country here], and nothing can stop you! Be sure not to let work, friends, or hygiene slip right now.

Finalize your travel insurance, finish up any vaccinations, and start making rough itineraries for interested parties (parents, mostly). Write down addresses for some hotels / hostels you can stay in for each town. Pre-book your first night so you don't have to deal with the mobs at the airport or train station.

Make a list of emergency phone numbers, embassy locations and contact info, and email addresses III. Now would be a good time to buy a to give to a family member Keep a guidebook or two. Lonely Planet has couple copies for yourself, to take in the best maps, but they take for EVER your bags. Gather addresses of all the to publish, so the info is already outpeople you could conceivably want to dated when you buy the book. Carry send postcards to. your book with you wherever you go.

Introduce your comrades to your famI love you, banana bread.

Make it a point not to be seen without ily so they know who's kidnapping it. Don't be afraid to show people the glossy photos their child. Take a photo of the travellers together and they will be jealous and might ask to join you. laminate it to keep with your passport.

Only now should you begin thinking seriously Start planning your going-away party. Try hard to conabout money and vacation time. You're so bent now on vince people how much they'll miss you and that they going that you'll do anything to keep your plan alive. should pick up the tab. Find someone to take you to the Make it clear to your employers / family / friends that airport. you'll die if you don't go.

Adopt some aspect of the culture as your own - V. Find some good walking shoes and a pair of cheap regional dress, customs, animals, art, important sites, shades. etc. - on which to narrow your focus. Talk about how Get some U.S. cash to take with you. Money wonderful it will be just to see that one thing. changers prefer crisp new bills and will probably refuse Make a detailed list of places you want to go and what damaged ones. You can exchange at your destination you'd like to do there. Remember that nothing is set in airport. Reconfirm that your plastic will work outside stone, but having a plan will satisfy any nay-sayers. the U.S. Make a couple of sample itineraries and pass them on to Pack. your partners in crime.

Leave.

If you work, continue planting ideas in your Hot damn! Be sure to take obscene amounts of boss' mind. Explain how important this is to you, how photos, buy lots of souvenirs, and send postcards to your you plan to tie up loose ends before leaving, what will benefactors. be done about projects in your absence, how you're goFlags make great souvenirs. ing to be so much more focused and happy when you Barbara Ebel doesn’t mind if you call her Babs, but return, etc. Begin to impart your knowledge to cowould definitely prefer Barbara, and possibly Barb. So workers in order to smooth the transition. if you are looking to score Ebel points, why are you If you convince yourself that you're going, othtrying to? Just what do you intend to do?

A Classical Encounter

by Tommy Simon Summer Days do not lie Everything remains outside.

Sea of Booze

by Michael Langdon A sea of booze -What are the options?

I rode my bike back from the library And on the side walk I saw a greek lettered girl talking Drowning, of course, of toga parties to her cell phone Treading lightly from the bedroom They are cruel to my mother's classic language, To the beverage-only fridge it's not pronounced DELTA, GAMMA, BETA, (Because he's dead It's Δ, Γ, Β And she keeps trying) Was Aristotle wrong about barbarianism?

Swimming somehow tip-toed -Or is primitivism no longer associated with Not enough to stay afloat. being connected to the earth and animals She screamed, A squirrel operating on instinct ate an apple core that lay two feet in front of her She reacted naturally as motionless prey Just as she did in the 8th grade when a nervous boy tried asking her to dance when she actually wanted to dance with Darius.

"It's going to attack me," she whispered into her cell phone, and I laughed, but I know nothing, I learned again A boy dressed in a battle uniform prestigiously scurried to her side poor guy, I hope they do not send him off to Iraq to die where is the corrupted youth that once resisted?

Gender roles' greeting rituals, "Me strong man in army suit, you young lady needing help." "Me knight in shining armor, you damsel in distress." "Me Tarzan, you Jane."

I suppose it worked, I biked back alone.

Hurricane Katrina was completely awful.

SHC has donated to the Red Cross, shouldn’t you?

Call 1-800-HELP-NOW to donate.

Or floating, sure, Seaweed green and bottle brown (Because he's dead And she kept trying) Even the customers, teetering, Drunken seagulls screeching, Laughing as I, behind the Counter, am tossed by waves into Parrott Bay? upon Long Island?

Sex on the Beach?

Sex on the beach? "You're kidding; Stop it," she says, yet throws The seaweed into my hair (But he's still dead And she was trying) It reads as violence, but I shove seaweed into her face; I pull her under water.

Ablutions: Submerged in this spiritual Ganges -- right stirring, right Drinking, right chugging, right Order -- salt, tequila, lime -Right belching, right tipping Your waitress, right stumbling, Right black out -- The EightFold Path, the Middle Way. A vodka brand, a pun -- absolution, But solving in these waters -In the name of the Barley, the wheat, and The choicest hops -A solution, an absolution: Yes, he is dead, But she never did.

Hi, I’m TREE-EE!

Cooperate or Else!

That’s right, kids, a smiling double tree creature is threatening you. And don’t think he doesn’t mean it!