Pine Press: New houses

the pine press

* volume 42, issue 1 “new house�

* see page 34

This publication

Did you know that the Pine Press is older than the SHC? I’ll bet not.

And you know who has submitted the thousands of articles published so far? Member-owners. In our office, we’ve got every issue ever published.

If you’re interested, you can read about the old co-ops that we helped start, the annual raft race we held against the sororities and fraternities on the Grand River, or the best idea in SHC’s history: the Vesta Memorial Swimming Pool.

To keep this publication kick-ass, you should submit an article. Your submission could be an illustration, a proposals, a short story, photographs, poetry, or any other appropriate genre. Writing for the Pine Press is a cooperative rite of passage!

Submissions are always welcome. education@msu.coop

§ If you have ideas for events, please tell your house Education Officer or contact the Vice President of Education, Brendan LaCroix.

We’ll make it happen.

Table of Contents 1.

Co-operative Living Survival Guide

Sowmya Surapur, Beal House

19.

Experience

Conrad Whistlebottom, Hedrick

2.

NASCO Conference 2011

Katie Courville, New Community

20.

Self introduction

Rachel Barth, Miles Davis

3.

What do you call home?

Michael Davidson, ex-Raft Hill

21.

“For the rest of my life…”

Kristoff Jones, Elsworth

4–7.

“Electronics May Rain From the Sky; A Short

Summary of Some Events That You Might Feasibly

Expect to Transpire During Your Time at

Phoenix Haus Co-op”

Amelia J. Larson, ex-Phoenix

22–23. Self introduction and First Impressions

Andrea Goosens, Phoenix

8–9.

Get to know your city by supporting local festivities

Brandon Grenier, Orion

25.

You know you’ve attained zen in your co-op when…

Katie Courville, New Community

10–11. An introductory letter

Korey Hurni, Board of Directors

26–27. Self introduction

Breanne Zost, Ferency

12.

Do. Don’t.

Ratt Mevers, Ferency

28–29. An Outside Perspective on Co-ops Fictitiously

Embellished, Kind Of

Josh Wald-Kerr, Avalon

13.

Advice to new co-opers

Caroline Turner, Raft Hill 14–15. On the Merits of Marching: An open letter to the

co-op system

Kevin Lynch, Bower

24.

Self introduction

Sonja Trierweiler, Vesta

30.

About Me. Welcome Back. Yeah.

Louise Reed, Hedrick 31.

When you leave the co-ops

Michael Davidson, ex-Raft Hill

16.

What’s Wrong with your Funk, Darin?

Darin Kern, Toad Lane

32.

Dijon Ferency

Maria Brundage, Ferency

17.

The Co-op Experience

Tobias Roth, ex-Hedrick, now Bower

33.

Be Kind, Re-Shine: Clean your fucking dishes

Aaron Hoffer, Raft Hill

18.

A letter about community

Matt DeNinno, Raft Hill

35.

Howland House

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NASCO Institute 2011

by Katie Courville

So you’ve just moved into the co-ops. You have a new roommate. You have a meal plan. And your house just had its first house meeting so now you have some house jobs. Now classes have started. What does it mean to be a co-oper and live with a bunch of people who you probably don’t really know very well yet?

Find out for yourself and sign-up to attend the NASCO 2011 Cooperative Education and Training Institute in Ann Arbor from Nov. 4th–6th.

One part of being a co-oper means that you are now apart of the North American Students of Cooperation (NASCO) and have the opportunity to attend extremely helpful workshops for three whole days with co-opers from around the country as well as Canada.

These workshops vary in topics from how to set up a garden or start a composting system to how to help a housemate who is having issues with mental health. Not only do you get to have an exceptional experience crashing in Ann Arbor co-ops for a weekend, but you also get to bring your new knowledge and ideas back to your house and the SHC. For more information, check out: http://www.nasco.coop/institute/.

See you on November 4th in A^2!

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What do you call home?

by Michael Davidson

When one is miles away from it for an indeterminate amount of time, how do you stay so content? How do you treat the space around you as ephemeral as you do? What do you call home?

What is it if not a house filled with individuals drawn together by shared set traits? Those that bind them just enough that they withstand each other’s presence, or so inseparably that, even as the years pass, their kinship manages its way through undulations of success and failure.

What do you call home when your possessions are simply semester-long rentals and disposables? How do you retain knowledge with an environment so fraught with detachment and disconnect? You are a quandary to behold.

Thus the greatest item you must learn during your years spent at study is how to write yourself a thesis. How to write yourself roots to cement into the world for others to tend to and support. You must be able to think about what thoughts you will carry with you throughout this world. Will you continue your unbridled, unstoppable race to some unattainable ideal? Will home become befuddled and begrudgingly distant in these years to come, or will you make this place your home now and bedamned any who might wish you any different?

If you wish to make this your home, then I wish you hello and goodbye, dear co-oper.

Farewell comrades!

Mike D, Raft Hill

A sociopath, a crackerjack, a nutter, that’s what they call those incapable of tying themselves down to anything tangible.

What do we become when we pass those traits on to each other? How far can we go without a history to trace, we risk to lose all sense of balance.

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“Electronics May Rain From the Sky; A Short Summary of Some Events That You Might Feasibly Expect to Transpire During Your Time at Phoenix Haus Co-op”

by Amelia J. Larson, ex-Phoenician

* It should be noted that this, my last submission to the Pine Press, is literally my first submission not to feature crudely rendered cartoons of other co-op members, half-naked poem characters, or Michiganthemed pin-up girls.

I want to begin this brief, mandatory article (enjoy it, Brendan, it’s the last thing you ever get to demand from me) by saying that I did not leave the co-op system this year because I disliked it. I mean, I’m not saying it doesn’t have its problems and all, but generally speaking the SHC, and more particular to myself, Phoenix Haus, are pretty baller things to be a part of. I thoroughly enjoyed my year spent at Phoenix, and I encourage anyone looking for an interesting life experience to experiment with not only the co-op system as a whole, but with Phoenix Haus in particular. Because Phoenix is a unique combination of fun, horror, and at times tits-to-the-wall oddity.

For any of you lucky kids living in Phoenix Haus for the first time this year, let me congratulate you.

Through some series of either fortuitous or inevitable events, your path of life has led you to the looming den of debauchery and wonder that is 239 Oakhill Avenue. You should consider this both a blessing and possible chastisement for some of your past sins, as both pain and pleasure await you in your new labyrinthine cluster-colony of a home. Allow me to give you a brief overview of things I went through during my time at Phoenix, some of which you might plausibly go through yourself, as well a few facts that might benefit you in this wobbling leg of your student-housing journey.

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Electronics may actually rain from the sky.

I had lived in Phoenix Haus for less than a week. I hadn’t gotten settled in my real room yet, I still peeked nervously around corners when walking down hallways in my bathrobe, and I’m pretty sure most people didn’t yet know I was there. I walk into the bathroom one morning, begin my daily routine, and all of a sudden an honest-to-God computer monitor falls from the sky outside the window and crashes in the West parking lot. Understandably, my curiosity was aroused. Several more used electronics, such as old VCRs, various computer parts and at least one television, fell from the heavens and shattered against the asphalt in the time it took me to brush my teeth. I ventured out into the side parking lot to discover, not God hurling random junkyard objects onto America from above as some kind of ancient-Egypt-style punishment for our material decadence, but about fifteen young men tossing literally any GUFF shit they could find in the attic off of the Phoenix Haus roof. What you’re assuming now is correct; there was certainly beer involved.

You will at some point pepper yourself with temporary tattoos.

This isn’t really a warning so much as news that should please you.

You will sit on the front porch in groups for periods of time upwards of three hours even if you have nothing to say.

The Phoenix front porch is to new Phoenicians as an open flame is to socially awkward moths. Not only do you flock to it, you flock to it with the desperate hope that it will instantaneously bond you to the others in at least proximal friendship with minimal effort on your part. And you know what? It does.

Bed-bugs can hibernate inside your furniture, unharmed by poison, cold, or fucking fire, for years.

To my knowledge, Phoenix Haus never had bed-bugs. This is just a piece of grim wisdom that would be good to remember when considering the purchase of a used mattress. Some co-ops had to learn about the unequivocal horror of bed-bugs the hard way.

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You will probably paint shit on the walls.

I try as a rule not to toot my own artistic horn, but I just want to inform any new Phoenicians that I am humbly responsible for the Bearmaid, the Bearodactyl, and my beloved favorite, the Bearnicorn. You’re welcome.

Poop water may seep from the basement walls.

Actually, the likelihood of this happening again is next to zero, because our plumbing/drainage problem was officially repaired this year. I just want you to be aware that for some of us who lived in Phoenix this year, FETID WATER COMBINED WITH HUMAN FECAL MATTER STREAMING FROM THE GODDAMN WALLS AND POOLING SIX INCHES DEEP ON THE FLOOR WAS A REAL THING. We saw it. We were there.

Your feet will be blackened by the floor.

Seriously, wear shoes. Wear shoes in every room of the house at all times.

You will find horrifying things in the personal fridge.

This is sort of a catch twenty-two situation. Everyone recoils in disgust when they have to pull a half-maggoty mold farm out of the personal fridge just to make room for their leftover Rice Kitchen, railing insults at whatever douche left that in there for that long---yet at the end of the day, virtually everyone in the house must be guilty of doing that exact thing at least once, or the fridge would not be as full of rotten death as it sometimes is. Actually, that is not a catch twenty-two situation at all, that’s just unfortunate.

If you live in the basement, you will overhear hilarious non-sequiturs that stick with you for weeks.

I spent my Phoenix year living in room number 1 in the basement level (I apologize, btw, if whoever who got my room does not like the colors black and red or the poorly painted moose on the radiator). One of my housemates who I shall not name (she should know who she is) had a habit of yelling entertaining things to herself while in the kitchen. For two days after we had lasagna for a house dinner and the leftovers remained, I would hear her at random hours of the day shouting in the kitchen, in a sing-song voice nearing baritone, “I want some motherfuckin’ la-SAAAAAAA-gna.” Her voice would repeat itself in my head, weeks later, in the middle of class, and I would laugh aloud like a retard. I’ll miss you, Phoenix kitchen crowd. I think I’ll miss you most of all, loud lasagna girl.

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You will be among the only people who actually dress up for theme parties.

I’m pretty sure that the members of Phoenix Haus have on numerous occasions shown up to theme parties dressed to the fucking nines in theme-appropriate costume, only to discover that the other co-ops, including the one that is actually throwing the themed party, are little bitches who at the last minute decided they were too cool for that.

Phoenix Haus members are totally unafraid to jerry-rig a pair of cat-ears, paint the Statue of Liberty on their faces and roam the night like a group of impaired ten-year-olds lost in a strange neighborhood on Halloween. Be proud, new Phoenicians. Be proud of this aspect of your new heritage.

You will be hated by the ELFD. Phoenix Haus has at times been the bane of the East Lansing Fire Department’s very existence. This is due to our many, many instances of setting off the fire alarm with bacon ( or by freaking bumping into the wall sensor ) and dragging the firemen out of what might have been a sound sleep so that they could shut it off. They act all friendly and professional-like when they show up, but you just know that the second they’re back in the big truck, they’re talking about what a bunch of tards we are. And really….after a while, you can’t blame them. On the bright side, having to sit out on the front lawn for half an hour is a great way to bond with your housemates.

And that’s about all the advice I have to proffer. Actually I have shit tons more advice that I could proffer like there’s no tomorrow, but frankly this is the last article I ever have to write for the Pine Press and I am, in all honesty, two-thirds-assing it. What? Like you haven’t all done the same. Judgmental bitches.

Anyway, I sincerely hope that all you new kids enjoy your time at Phoenix, or whatever co-op you are inhabiting this year; you will meet awesome people, have new and diverse experiences, and make college memories that last a lifetime (provided they occur outside of your black-out periods). Keep your head on a swivel and your booze in a mini-fridge…you’re gonna be just fine.

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Jackie Scott and the Housewreckers

Get to Know Your City by Supporting Local Festivities New to the co-ops and looking for something fun to do on the weekends?

Old Town (Grand River and Turner Street) in Lansing holds a number of festivals throughout the year, with themes including music, theater, art and culture.

On September 16–17, blues bands from around the country took the stage for the Old Town BluesFest. Each year over 10,000 people come out to see live music, eat and dance.

If you still want to get downtown and experience a cultural festival, Old Town’s Oktoberfest is happening Friday, October 7, and Saturday, October 8. There will be authentic German food, polka dancing, and of course, (if you’re over 21) bier.

by Brandon Grenier

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Bluesfest crowd

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Hello Everybody!

My name is Korey Hurni, I live in the David Bowie Memorial Cooperative, and I represent the SHC Board of Directors on the Education Committee.

Yes, yes, I am aware that this all boring, and if you feel a yawn or sigh about you, then please, don’t read further.

My job, essentially, is to recap what happens at the Board of Directors to all you beautiful and intelligent member-owners. We’re not some esoteric unit who makes decisions without your knowledge or approval.

We represent you. Our votes are in the interests of our individual houses, and system as a whole.

And this is key. An individual house does not hold more weight than any other house, and no house can be seen as unequal in the system. It’s a weighty balance, but it’s one we strive for.

Yet, the contract year is fresh and new, even while the leaves begin to turn and fall, and so there hasn’t been much weight to deal with.

We’ve only had the Board Retreat thus far. For those who are not in the know, we learned a lot about what it meant to represent our corporation. I don’t need to go into detail, because you can ask any your Board Representative. I don’t mean to dismissive, but there were openissues from that weekend that I’d rather focus on, than give a recap of what we learned.

While yes, a larger corporation governs us; it is surprising how much individual house autonomy we actually have. This goes beyond name changes. We set our own constitutions, our own meal plans, our own budgets, and essentially our own culture. While we don’t necessarily decide who lives in our house, the touring potential-member is directly influenced by what he or she sees. The SHC doesn’t fill our houses, we do. As the fall moves forward, and people begin touring different housing options for next year, remember that their choice to live in the SHC is not purely economic.

Bowie only has 7 new members out of 21, and 2 of those were people in relationships with people already living in the house. On a visual level, Bowie is culturally consistent with last year. We still have our terrific meal plan – as I write this article, Alex Henderson is making a pork roast with potatoes and green beans. Tonight, I will be eating well. We still gather around the television watching Netflix. Sunday night: Crunchy’s. Typical Bowie. Yet, the added 5 new members did not simply assimilate into our culture, they have adapted in new ways.

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From the ways jobs are preformed to conversations in the living room, Bowie remains identifiable, but noticeable different. There is even talk of abandoning the informal name Bowie, and simply calling ourselves Elsworth again. While we had this conversation last year, it fizzled into nothingness, everyone referred to us as Bowie, and so did we. Now, things are a bit different. I hear Elsworth down the corridors.

I remember when those 5 new members toured. They’re taking what they made us out to be, and are now carrying that forward. That which we planted last year, most prominently a restructuring of jobs, is being embraced. Fruit for generations down the road.

I wish to take a moment to turn to Avalon, and applaud their efforts to better their house. I’m glad to see a meal plan up and running. Bowie hopes to dine with you in the near future.

In past articles I’ve always stressed the cultural element of our lovely system, and I don’t mean this article to be a simple reiteration. Our system is set-up as way to enable us to change what we feel we must change. Don’t like a certain policy? Come to the Board Meeting, and voice your opinion. Member Time, a time set aside for members to voice anything they want the Board of Director’s to hear, is largely underused. We’re not independent, but there are outlets to bring about the change you feel is necessary. We exist for you, and because of you.

The SHC is not there to restrict individual houses. It enables us to work together. Look at Bower’s renovations. Hell, look at Bowie’s. We’re a year in, and it still looks gorgeous. This was possible because of our group effort.

Cooperate, my fine beautiful peers, ~ Korey Hurni

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Do. Don’t.

by Ratt Mevers

Here is an exhaustive list of what you should and shouldn’t–strike that. Here’s an exhaustive list of what you will and won’t do as a new co-oper.

DO:

• Get to know everyone in your house by sleeping with them. Colloquially known as “house-cest,” it’s the fastest (in most cases), most reliable, and most in-depth way (wink wink wink wink wink) of learning about your new family.

• Throw a surprise party for your house. Invite all of your friends. Your best chance of getting everyone at the house at the same time is Tuesday or Wednesday at around 2:00 a.m. They’ll never see it coming!

• Bake cookies!

• Find out who has bathroom clean-up duty and dumping a can of Chef Boyardee in the shower.

Then offer to help them clean it up without ever confessing that it was you.

• Ask everyone if they’ve ever heard of “dubstep.”

• Show that you’re an active and engaged member of the community by stretching out house meetings as long as you can with plenty of questions, playful anecdotes, and as many witticisms as possible. Derailing any sort of conversation flow is crucial.

DON’T:

• Speak unless spoken to • Argue

• Make eye-contact

• Use all the water up. Co-ops have a very limited amount of water they can use per month, so showering more than once a week isn’t forbidden, but strongly discouraged.

• Eat the “house” or “guff” food. They say you can, but everyone knows that it’s chock full of human hair and fingernails. It’s just kinda where everyone puts it*.

• Barf in the toilet. The bathroom sinks can handle far more vomit than the toilets in SHC houses.

It’s primarily because PVC pipes of the bathroom sinks actually expand to accommodate heavier loads–sounds like my ex-wife. Am I right?–whereas the toilets still have old copper piping that have less give. *See Pine Press June 18, 2006: “Hair and the SHC”

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I recently rediscovered this feedback diagram in the notes for one of my undergraduate classes (I went to Oberlin College, where about 1 in 4 students are co-opers).

The key point here is that this is a positive feedback loop which can function in two ways. If the quality of a co-op is improving, its members will become increasingly engaged and motivated. On the other hand, if residents feel like the quality of their co-op is declining, they will likely be far less motivated. My advice to new co-opers: Keep this feedback loop in mind and do what you can to keep things moving in an upward direction.

by Caroline Turner

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On the Merits of Marching: An open letter to the co-op system

by Kevin Lynch

Dear Co-op Kidz, An idea has struck me and sunk down, gaining depth and meaning. The idea? Marching. Offhand when we were talking about possible system-wide community events at the first education committee meeting, I mentioned doing a march. Reactions, including my own, were skeptical and bemused, and rightly so. What cause would we have? Where would we go? Really, honestly, the most reasonable question was the simplest – why? However, I think this is precisely how many good ideas are born. Currently, this one is nascent, and a healthy birth shall only be possible if many more of you weirdoes out there help it through the labor pains. Of course, the task of the weirdo is very strange indeed. To not only have principles, but to act on them as well is preposterous...and indeed quite weird in these times. Really though, the more I think about this the more sensible it sounds.

So hear me out folks.

To ask “What is a march?” helps to enter the discourse of why we ought to march. A march is first and foremost a form… a form that has become exceedingly popular the past 200–300ish years for every cause under the sun. It is an artist’s canvas, except when sometimes non-artist’s try to usurp its power (ehrmmm…fascist…*cough*).

But we are the artists aren’t we? We’re the weirdoes who decided to live in the co-ops, remember?

We’re the half-hipsters, the queers, the stoners, the hippie-deluxe types, heck, some of us are even full-English hipsters. We like cooking, drinking, slinking, and cats. The latter being perhaps the most important distinction. In sum, I think we could make a heck of a march.

But really, what is a march? A march is people on streets walking, perhaps chanting, and definitely carrying signage. It is empowering as it brings our private lives, lovers, and longings out to the public to show them that which they refuse to see…or at least that which has been overlooked, otherwise hidden, and in some cases, swept under the rug. Nothing says you can’t walk, but walking together can say much to many. In this way a march is strange in its simplicity.

As for that other important question—what would our cause be?—I have a few suggestions to help initiate some dialog. Yes, it could be, contrary to what Senator McCarthy told you, as simple as cats and not about communism at all. Imagine (for that is the activity that creates the march) a hundred of us bohemians walking in the streets with signs that said “meow” or “have you pet anything today?” or “come purr with us”…and in truth people would come and revel in it. The march is intimately community oriented. It spreads messages, mouths, and makes mingle-fests wheresoever it marches.

It brings people on the edge of the public space [ex: that wonderful space that is the porch], over the barricade and into the community, and for those whom it does not lure over the barricade, at least it provokes them to think in their reticent refuges. To others it brings them out of the depths of their private, electronic cocoons, to the barricade – where they should be in the first place.

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In seriousness though, there are critical issues that we could make our cause if we so choose. I’ve always thought the co-op system was a refreshingly LGBT friendly place in an otherwise patriarchal, sterile, bro-infested college town. Why not show the community our pride about that? The gods know it would be healthy for people to see all the queers in their own backyard. A bro [I say that in a non-condemning fashion, but rather as a reference to the archetype that we all know dominates East Lansing with its banal and brutish young bucks] might hesitate, if only for a second, to throw the epithet “fag” at some clearly queer people because of us marching, prancing, and dancing around town. That’s a second I would savor.

Or we could address the horrendous state of relations between the genders in this town. Some statistics say that sexual assault occurs every 2 minutes in America, though on college campuses the stats are much worse. Per every 10,000 people at a university, a study estimates, 350 women will be rape victims every year. MSU has a campus population of 40,000. What’s worse is that a minority of sexual abuse cases are actually reported (only 40%)1. This is an issue which, though there are some very good events (I’m thinking here of things like Take Back the Night) that try to tackle it, it nevertheless seems to suffer from an eternal swept-under-the-rug-edness. Other ideas for a cause I thought of were addressing the huge tuition hikes at our University and in general the budget, or helping out the local environmentalist campaign to put that horrid coal plant out of production, or speaking to the crisis of creativity that our spectacle-driven (technology-driven) society instigates… the possibilities are many.

So what do you think? I think, for one, that there is much thinking to be done about this if in fact ya’ll are inclined to the thinking that I’m thinking. Ah! A thought: we could have a BBQ afterwords.

That would be grand. A BBQ for the people! Huzzah! Anywho, write in to the Pine Press with your thoughts or come to an Education Committee meeting (currently no set meeting time, but ask your education reps and they’ll probably know soon) and think with us.

Cheers, Kevin from Bower P.S. In anticipation of the question I know some of you may have, a march is indeed ‘political’ irregardless of what cause it has. So yes, the co-op system would potentially be, in a very nonpolitically-correct way, supporting a particular political stance. However, I submit to you that it is also a political stance not to allow political stances. To not allow people to democratically, as a community, voice an opinion about some issue in assembly with one another is a very, very political stance to take.

All figures taken from RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network) which pulls most of its stats from U.S. Dept. of Justice studies.

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What’s Wrong with your Funk, Darin?

by Darin Kern

Hey readers, my name is Darin Kern and I am currently pursuing my Master’s in Accounting.

I live in cozy Toad Lane. “Co-op-er”, work colleague, and friend John Vandercruyssen helped introduce me to the co-op system this Fall and it has been a stellar transition. Considering Toad Lane is so small (5 members), everyone in the house has to take an officer position. I didn’t know what to expect but I was up for it.

Upon moving in late August, I was greeted from other amphibian dwellers. Within a few hours, I felt at home; we were interacting like we have all known each other since pre-school.

Though I have only been a Co-op member for little for around a month now, I do have some tips to make the transition into the co-op as smooth as a baby’s bottom:

1. Take responsibility for attending house meetings and completing chores. There’s no better way to gain respect than to show other seasoned co-op members you care.

2. Expansive co-op porches have the propensity to trap you, sit you down like Chris Hansen, and have you listen to Grizzy Bear and prank phone calls all day – be wary if you are like me and enjoy such. You can lose a whole day.

3. Be willing to work around other people’s schedules. House meeting at 3:30pm on a Saturday when MSU’s playing…? Okay, that’s not likely, but if it was, you get the picture. Be open to the idea that other people are busy and have limited times to all get together.

4. Do things with your housemates…no not that…well, maybe that. But seriously, get out there and go do something: a movie, a trip to your favorite dockside bar, or free workouts at the facilities of undisclosed apartment complexes.

5. Plan and make a house dinner. Just make sure the chicken isn’t pink and you’ll be golden.

Wait, what?

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The co-op experience

by Tobias Roth

I am glad that Bower was renovated over the summer and I was able to experience what it was like to live in another one. Hedrick runs differently from Bower in a lot of ways, and it was nice being closer to everything when living over here.

A piece of advice for new co-op members would be to withstand the trend of not doing dishes. It helps everyone out a lot if you just do the dishes that are assigned to you because if they are done daily, they are usually pretty easy‌when waiting 3–5 days, not so easy!

One of my favorite things about living in co-ops are the mix of people that live in them and being able to get to know a bunch of different people while living with them. Being the film fan that I am, I find it fun to have the opportunity to watch movies with people in a group and get to know what other types of movies different people are into and movie watching in the living room can be a fun bonding experience for members of the house!

Living in a co-op is also a great way to get exposed to new music and expose your new friends to the different types of music that you are into as well. Communal dinners in the house are always fun to, since it is always great to have a group of people to eat with, and especially at Bower to have really good and different types of food prepared all the time. A great time at Bower was definitely our end of the fall semester

party which I invited 2 musical acts to play and another housemate had a friend of his DJ after, it was a huge hit with everyone and a lot of fun. Some parties have even been known to house some pretty well-known bands, so I would encourage checking them out whenever possible.

I would encourage new members to be social within the co-op and with the other co-ops when possible. It can definitely be fun to get to know people in other co-ops since that way you can go over to other ones to hang out and find out about parties occurring at other co-ops as well. Most likely your co-op will have people in it that go to some parties and they will talk about them too so that wont be a huge issue but it is also more fun to know more people once you get to those parties too.

There are also advantages and disadvantages of living in each co-op. Some have features like big TVs or foosball or ping pong tables and others house musicians that make it a lot of fun for people to jam together and a good social environment.

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Dear Co-opers, So, this issue of the Pine Press is intended mainly as a kind of primer or inside look for new members.

I know many other articles are being written that discuss what people wished they knew before moving in or tips for functioning well in the co-ops or the soul-crushing details of the sausagemaking-like ordeal that co-op living is.

And, in fact, I could write one of those articles: I could talk about how I wish I knew that people have wildly different expectations and constantly assume that others hold the same expectations.

I could relate the tip that sanctimoniously doing extra work often leads to unsatisfying burnout. I could discuss how frustrating it is to sit through a house meeting where people are dancing around issues, untrustingly and uncooperatively not saying what needs to be said to resolve the problems.

But, I’m not going to do so. I am instead going to write an article for you about what makes me happy about living in community. This way, I hope you quickly grasp onto some benefits and start your habitation on a good note. So, clearly, I’m also writing this article for me, as a reminder. Maybe it’s mostly for me, but you get to share in my joy, and joy shared is joy multiplied.

I think one important thing that makes me happy about living in the co-ops is house meals. They can be such an amazing experience; the simple act of breaking bread together connects people.

There’s something about it. I can describe what happens. Say you’re having dinner at 6:30. Some people are in their rooms, waiting or trying to get some work done. Some people are doing the cooking, it being one of their house jobs. Some people trickle in or rush home from work or class to be on time. Then, it’s time. We ring a dinner bell, and everyone comes down. The cooks put out dishes, silverware, and place the food on the table for people to serve themselves. Everyone shuffles a bit, builds their plate of food, and then grabs a seat around the table. For us, it just fits all 12 people.

Since food isn’t currently in their mouths, conversations begin. “So, what did you learn today?” is a common question. Praise of the food, or at least how it smells, abounds. Then, people start to eat.

There’s a lull in the conversation, but an increase in other sounds. Chewing, clinking, smiling. Yes, to me, smiling has a sound. After a few moments, talking resumes. Over meals, lives are shared.

Eventually, people finish. They linger a bit and talk. The cooks clean up and put leftovers in the house fridges for lunches. People break away for work, commitments, alone time.

In Raft, we call this family time. I know it’s squishy and mushy and a little nauseating. But I’m OK with it.

Matt DeNinno

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experience

by Conrad Whistlebottom

When I look back on my co-op experience, only one event comes to mind: It was a Sunday. A grey Sunday. I was alone in the basement.

I also was wearing a shirt.

A BIG FUCKIN’ CHICKEN WALKER FROM STAR WARS CRASHED THROUGH THE WALL! I attempted a bad ass tumble

All of a sudden,

of the couch, and scurried for cover in the laundry room. It was wild. It was pooping everywhere, and criticizing the GOP for not being able to split the gap between Tea Partiers and the other blah blah blahs.

I tried to lure it with some lint. It only made it angrier. He stomped to the kitchen and cracked all the lovely tile on the way. It started to munch on some garbage, and that’s when I knew I had my chance. I crept up slowly, crouched and hidden like a tigerdragon. I pulled out

my lightsaber and WAVED THAT TRIUMPHANT

BLADE IN THE AIR AS I SLICED THAT MECHANIZED ASSHOLE IN HALF. That was my favorite co-op experience, when my Jedi character, Wilbion Hedrickattu, recieved 10,000 experience points in Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 5: Palpatine’s Panty Raid.

Ron Paul says, “If you’re going to waste time playing video games, you might as well chop onions on a metal folding chair!”

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education officer extraordinaire rachel barth introduces herself and talks about her impressions of her new home: I’m Rachel and I recently moved into Miles Davis. I’m a junior and my major is social relations and policy. I enjoy fencing, 30 Rock, and baking.

Having lived in Miles Davis for almost four weeks now, I feel pretty well situated. It’s kind of weird moving into a place that already has people living in it, like being the new kid at school or something. Despite my generally awkward demeanor, the people that live here are cool and not jerks like the kids at Chilton were to Rory Gilmore on her first day.

Transitioning into school has been harder than getting used to living in a co-op. Do professors really expect me to read 90 pages on Dred Scott v. Sanford? Despite the things I like about fall (really just TV shows starting again), I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to the idea of having to do work again after almost four months off.

Fortunately, the cool people in my house have made the general transition into fall much better than it could have been. People kept asking me where I was living this year, and when I told them, their next question was always if I knew anyone else in the house. When I said no, I think people were kind of freaked out—but it’s totally fine, because nobody has shown any signs of being serial killers or anything.

So thanks, residents of Miles Davis, for not being creepy.

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For the rest of my life I’ll be thinking about that hamburger. I’ll be sitting there at the counter, holding it in my hands with tears streaming down my cheeks. The waitress will be looking away because she doesn’t like to see kids crying when they are eating hamburgers…

Richard Brautigan

Submitted by Kristoff Jones.

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HELLO! ¡Hola! Salut! Hallo! Bonjour!

Guten Tag! (I don’t know any more)

Me in Valencia, Spain, where I studied abroad this summer.

My name is Andrea Goossens! I am from Clare, MI, a podunk little town and hour or so from E.L. I live in Phoenix Haus, and this is my third year in this nest of love. I am in my fifth year at MSU in the College of Education. I am a double major, English and Spanish, and I hope to teach Spanish in a high school somewhere in this beautiful country. I am the youngest of five sisters and one brother, which makes living in Phoenix very comfortable for me, chaos was a part of my life growing up.

When I first moved into Phoenix, I was starting my third year at MSU. I think I was finally becoming more comfortable with the transition from my tiny ass town to a town full of people who are all slightly uncomfortable. At first, I felt that I was the only person at MSU who felt so

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confused about everything…i.e. what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go from here, who I should spend time with, how I should be involved with school…everything. But, as I became more comfortable, I realized that I was just one of thousands. Then, I moved into Phoenix, and everything became easier. School became more fun, friends became more permanent, and my future became more obvious. I found awesome people, in an awesome atmosphere, at an awesome school. I guess I’m still pretty confused about a lot of things, like what I am actually going to do in the future, and why dishes never seem to get done even when they do, and how so many people can live in one house, yet stay amicable, but I know for sure that Co-ops are pretty fantastic, and so are the people in them.

A little about me with the help of this first day of school handout:

1. Favorite Activity/Hobby: I’m going to say reading…as sad as that is, watching movies, snowboarding (I LOVE SNOW), and baking.

2. Favorite Subject in School: English 440 with Professor David Kirkland. Fabulous fellow! Or Professor Pratt, the greatest Prof. at MSU. 3. Least favorite subject in school: All of that Math shit. I did the lowest level available while still receiving the required credits.

4. Favorite song/music: I will never get enough of This Modern Love by Bloc Party, but my musical tastes vary.

5. Favorite movie: Toss up between Big Fish and Scott Pilgrim VS. The World. I will and have watched these movies a million times.

6. Favorite television show: Arrested Development or The Office or How I Met your Mother or Always Sunny in Philadelphia or Happy Endings* (though I think that only went one season) or Raising Hope or Glee or Dexter. I love television shows…LOVE them.

7. Favorite ice cream flavor: Sesquicentennial Swirl!!! Hell yes MSU Dairy Store! Hell Yes! 8. Favorite food: Italian all the way. Baked Ziti with Marinara sauce and Broccoli.

9. Favorite color: Green from nature, blue artificial things, and purple in food.

10. Favorite animal: Kangaroo or Squirrel, though my patronus is a squirrel.

Some Phoenicians from a sledding expedition last winter Last Halloween with me and ex-Phoenecian Lars

* Editor’s note: Happy Endings was renewed and its second season starts on September 28th.

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yet another outstanding education officer introduces herself:

Given the fact that I was not a co-occupant last year, I haven’t had the luxury of sitting down at the end of a long day and unfolding a freshly printed copy of the Pine Press. Thus I don’t yet have a strong idea of what a submission should consist of.

Fortunately, there was a copy of this highly acclaimed publication laying around the house for my reference.

It also happened to be from June 9, 2003. Convenient, right? Here is what I’ve gathered: In World Events, Bush attended a Mideast Peace Summit and a study came out revealing that smoking speeds up memory loss. In other news, bulk buying is economical, Finding Nemo proved to be awesome (obviously), there was a 1991 Sunbird for sale for $2200, and Hedrick discovered they did, indeed, have a patio hiding under some bikes and stuff.

Going off these important clues of what an article should consist of, I can confidently say that these World Events happened, bulk buying is still convenient, Finding Nemo continues to be a timeless, golden, masterfully crafted piece of art, Sunbirds stopped happening in 1994, and congrats, Hedrick. Hope that patio is still serving you well.

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Sonja Trierweiler

Sonja Trierweiler hails from Elk Rapids, Michigan, is a dual major in Linguistics and Arabic with specializations in Peace and Justice Studies and in Cognitive Science, and also is currently residing at Vesta, the grooviest house in the SHC. Being only a sophomore, she lived in a frightening place called “Brody” last year, but to her relief, has been graciously welcomed into this wholesome land of hippies, murals, incense, love, ping-pong, etc.

You know you’ve attained zen in your co-op when…

by Katie Courville

…Courtesy lives überall. …“We” takes over “I”. …You hear out your housemates (about house issues, thorns of the day, etc). …You can feel the positive energy when you enter. The house. …Communication is positive and productive. …Everyone strives to improve the house regardless of their house job. …Your housemates become your new family. …When house events happen without plan. …Passive aggression bought a one way train ticket for far far awayyyyy. …Everyone can agree and live by house set ways of living.

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HEY! My name is Bre and I live in Ferency and I LOVE it! Here is a little bit about myself/my revised application for Sugardaddie.com:

What is your favorite animal?

I heart puppies and bunnies—snugglefest, anyone!?

What is your favorite color?

Well, it depends on the season and/or my mood. But if I had to pick a generic color, it would have to be ‘eggplant.’ It is rich, sophisticated, warm and will go with most things in my wardrobe. Not to mention, I look great in it.

If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?

I really would like to strive towards being a stay-at-home wife and mother. For lack of a better term, I would like to be a trophy wife.

If you could get a tattoo, what would it be and where would it go?

I would probably get a butterfly, on my lower back.

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What is playing on your iTunes right now?

The GLEE Soundtrack!!

If you had a million dollars, what would you do?

Please refer to the Barenaked Ladies song “If I Had a Million Dollars.”

What is your concept of a fruitful day?

SHOPPING. And a mani/pedi.

What is your favorite quote?

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

- Mariah Carey

If you were stranded on a desert island, what would you bring with you?

Teeth whitener, mascara, lotion, and a bottle of pre-made margaritas!

What dessert describes you in the best way and why?

Chocolate covered strawberries – aphrodisiacs ;)

What are your favorite hobbies?

I am in love with fashion, so I spend a lot of time looking at magazines and shopping for fun, new and sexy ways to put outfits together.

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An Outside Perspective on Co-ops Fictitiously Embellished, Kind Of

w Hey, this article is written by Josh W.K. (a.k.a. me) I’m writing from Avalon house, where I also happen to live. I’m writing this article mostly because I wanted to branch out and try to meet some more of the co-operative community, figured I might as well work on my writing as well. I’d like to ask anyone reading this to not take this interview too seriously. Parts of it have been sensationalized, and the interviewee’s name has been changed to Winston Jerome (If you’ve seen the Boondocks you may understand this reference). So, yeah, please enjoy. w

WK: To start out, could you tell me a little information about yourself?

WJ: I’m a Music Major at LCC, have been around the Lansing area for a few years now. It’s pretty decent.

WK: Nice, so what was your initial impression of co-ops one year ago?

WJ: Well, I didn’t know much about them. Started off getting invited to parties and getting wasted there. I thought they were much more chill than fraternities and sororities, like with dirty, hippie girls down to fuck.

WK: Yeah, that pretty much describes them. Has this viewpoint changed at all in the time since then?

WJ: Um yeah, it changed a bunch, because... sort of walking through these houses, you don’t really get to meet a lot of the people living there. I didn’t realize that everybody got their own living space apart from the common rooms. Didn’t meet my expectations in the “down to fuck” department.

WK: Where do you see co-ops fitting into campus life?

WJ: Into campus life? The campus life at LCC is more about just going to classes, I usually just go there for classes. What would you define MSU campus life as?

WK: Campus life, meaning the interactions between dorms, apartments, houses, fraternities, and sororities. There are a variety of people scattered through each of them WJ: I guess that I would look at them similarly to fraternities and sororities, but I’m not too familiar with their community aspects. Did you hear those sororities chanting earlier? That was ridiculously loud!

WK: Yeah, for real. It’s pretty crazy that these girls who are supposed to be friends of the pledges are making them sleep outside on 39-40 degrees nights (precisely).

WJ: Well they’re not friends yet, until after the rush is done. Besides, it’s team-building.

WK: I guess so. Anyway, as someone who lives in a house with many roommates, what are some important things to keep in mind? Do you feel that house responsibilities can reliably be distributed among house mates?

WJ: What a good question. Definitely communication is good, just try and be semi-clean. Especially if you’re living in a house of girls, this is a good idea. Definitely in a house of less people, it’s easier because you really know each other, but when you have to set up big house meetings it’s harder to actually have all the people show up, that’s what I would assume.

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WJ: How many people do you have living (at Avalon)?

WK: We have about 15 members at the moment, 14 men and 1 woman.

WJ: Do you guys have a meal plan, or eat together, how does that work?

WK: Yeah, we have meals on Sunday through Thursday. They usually get made whenever the people assigned to cook are done with their classes and come back to the house, and are based on meals picked out by each member of the house.

WJ: Ah. Gotcha.

WK: Last question. Do you feel that people can grow from the experience of living with others and if so, how?

WJ: Depends on who you live with. You guys have a nice patio outside.

WK: Thanks, man.

WJ: Yeah, fur sure. No matter if it’s a good or bad relationship with the housemates, you always grow from your experiences and as an individual cooperative member of society. Say you had a bad relationship with your roommate, you would find a way to deal with it or at least learn from it (with an axe handle).

If you’re not used to living in a group setting, you would learn to communicate much better with people around you. It really opens the doors to a lot of different people, gives you some interesting opportunities.

That’d be beneficial.

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About Me. Welcome Back. Yeah.

Howdy, you don’t mind if I write, do you? A secluded area, dimly lit, the sound of traffic never ceasing. Suddenly a car taillight ignites behind my right ear. A cool breeze is a welcome relief to my ever-quickening panic. And as I’m beginning to realize how “Dexter” (verbalizing) this all sounds a forty-something white male runs past me.

He’s wearing black running shorts, a blue top, and a matching blue cap. All I heard were his feet running toward me on the pavement. Clip clap. Clip clap. Clip clap.

Oh yeah I’ve got something to say. Something. Hmm…something, but I can’t remember what… I had to say. I’ve got something to say… yes. Hmm…I’ve forgotten. You see, I’m forgetful, something about me. Now, what… was it. I opened my word document too late. I opened Cat Power too late. I’m late. Something else about me. Most people think I’m not too bright. I forget things- names, the day, important SHIT. But really it’s all a joke. Don’t you see? No one can be that dumb, I’m just kidding. A ploy, to keep you occupied while I hide. Girls laugh, guys’ hauff, it’s too easy to manipulate the masses. Not even fair really. All girls want to secretly have a threesome and all guys want to shit in peace. Not that hard. I’m all about connecting the dots. Thinking one step ahead, which always leaves me left behind. I focus too much on the future; I miss the present and can’t remember the past. Did any of it happen like I remember? The past is gone. Is the future important? What do you want for your future? Kids? On Christmas morning, opening presents, in front of a fireplace. Is middle class a possibility for me? If you’ve got any fucking clue please clue me in.

Estrogen mimicking chemicals- chemicals and pesticides used on our produce, specifically: ddt, pcb, and bpa. These pesticides are “non-water soluble”, meaning they do not breakdown with water. Their half-lives are roughly 5,000-35,000 years. Basically, every pesticide that has ever been produced still exists today. These chemicals were produced and distributed before the FDA or any regulatory system had a chance to analyze them.

What they do is catastrophic. These pesticides mimic estrogen in the body. They block androgen receptors during the gestation period. Males who are born from high dosage mothers have an 80% lower sperm count, likely to have undescended testies, and are at a much higher likelihood for pancreatic, along with many other, cancers.

Females are likely too inherent some form of cancer, have negative pheromones, and be less responsive to their children. Both sexes experience a high increase in carcinogenic possibility, and a shorter attention span. ADHD, ADHD-without hyper tendencies, autism and asperger, are all directly linked to estrogen-mimicking chemicals.

And back. Stopped by two friends outside the bar the exact time I finished writing something for another story. Now, I had come to a standstill yes, but was I ready immediately to engage in conversation…no. Try and keep up, until next time. SHIT.

Louise Reed.

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When you leave the co-ops

by Michael Davidson

When you leave the co-ops, You left your last chore unfinished.

When you leave the co-ops, Your hygiene has certainly diminished.

When you forget to collect your food, it is now my food.

When you take our keys, you can keep the locks.

When you take my beer, don’t move anywhere near where I might drink my next beer.

For it is very dear to my heart, just like your bad poster must be so close to yours.

Please take your shitty toaster that broke on our floors.

This is a bad poem about how that cat piss has turned some nice patch of carpet into cat piss.

When you leave the co-ops, be sure you’re all finished when you leave the co-ops.

Please make it positive, when reminisced.

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Dijon Ferency

by Maria Brundage

*Editor’s note: All of this mustard is expired, but still in our fridge. 50% of the condiments in your fridge belonged to an old member, who didn’t throw it away after it expired. The same is true for 80% of the contents of your freezer.

Until September 15, Ferency had a “meat freezer” in the basement—a chest of rotting meat from two or more years ago that was unplugged for three months. When it came out of the basement, it leaked blood onto our patio for a week. That’s p fucking gross.

Get your housemates together and clean your fridges and pantries. Or experience botulism.

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Be Kind, Re-shine

Clean your fucking dishes

by SC Johnson: A Family Company

“Half of all co-op grievances begin with someone not cleaning their dishes” - Old Chinese Proverb We all have busy lives. All the members of the SHC are students of one flavor or another and most likely have a job on top of that. It makes sense that the waking hours we aren’t partying, we are caught up in our other main commitments. One of these commitments is to the house that you are a (proud) owner of.

As members of the SHC “we (really do) own it” and therefore we should treat our houses and fellow owners with respect. Leaving dishes around the house and making other people clean up after you is unfair. Why should other house owners be responsible for your mess? They are just as busy as you are and doing the simple act of cleaning a few dishes (and putting them away) shouldn’t become the responsibility of others.

Many houses have dish cleaning as a chore, a job that should really be the responsibility of every member. I can understand having the position to clean the kitchen and a few forgotten dishes, but they shouldn’t be burdened by everyone’s mess. It would similarly be unfair if you left a spill in the living room for the person who cleans that area of the house.

Co-operative living doesn’t mean that each person has their own job cleaning up that particular mess for the rest of us. We are all here to pitch in and help with everything. Remember, you may live in separate room than everyone else in your house but you are all supporting the same roof.

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Howland House

This came before the Board of Directors on September 26: Description: Howland Cooperative has applied for organizational membership in the SHC, via a vote of their membership. This would mean that the organization has some meaningful affiliation with our corporation, but is still an entity in its own right. They have also voted to withdraw from any legal agreements with management companies with regards to their property at 415 M.A.C. Ave, and work to give the property to the SHC. They require that the name of the property at 415 M.A.C. Ave be “Howland House” in perpetuity, that the SHC maintain an Alumni database of previous members of Howland House, and that a Howland Alumni event be executed each year on the property.

Substantive Terms: The Board of Directors grants organizational membership to the Howland House Cooperative.

Members of the Howland house cooperative not currently residing in the house shall be considered alumni members.

Enactment Clause: This shall be effective immediately.

Relevant Code: From the Articles of Incorporation: Article IV. membership 3.

Members of cooperative houses not owned or leased by the SHC may join SHC under such

terms as may be negotiated with the President and the Executive Vice President. These terms

must be approved by the Board of Directors. Members of these co-operatives shall apply for

membership as a group, and must be accepted by a two-thirds vote of the Board.

5.

Membership shall be of 3 types: 1) individual, 2) organizational, 3) operational. Individual

membership is defined in Article II and Article IV Section 2. Organizational is a community

or student organization as accepted and defined by the MSU SHC BoD and/or individual

member referenda. Operational membership is a rental or investment property as accepted

and defined by the MSU SHC BoD and/or individual member referenda.

Ask your Board representative what happened.

To learn more about Howland House, search Google for “Howland House East Lansing”.

The first link (“East Lansing - Woodbury House”) has great information about both this property and its neighbore, the one-time home of New Community.

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Co-op House Fridays

at the Landshark

Every Friday, the MSU Student Housing Cooperative rules the Landshark Bar & Grill (corner of Grand River and Abbot). Each week, a different house has an opportunity to choose a theme and provide entertainment.

It’s an opportunity to throw a party, have a bar, and not have to clean up or worry about getting a noise violation. Best opportunity ever?

Got a housemate in a band? Friends with a DJ? Talk to your house Membership Officer or email membership@msu.coop to organize your house’s night.

DEALS 1/2 off everything until 10:30pm. $1 Co-op shots. $2.50 PBR Tall Boys $3 drafts $5 pitchers Free cover for co-op members

plus one. facebook.com/CoopHouseFridays 35

the pine press

* volume 42, issue 1 “new house�

* see page 34