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Pine Press

October 2023

Hi co-opers! Thanks for picking up this issue of the Pine Press! I hope you all had a wonderful Halloween. A couple new things: as requested, I’m going to start providing a list of upcoming events at the start of each issue. This can include anything from parties to community events. If you have an event that you think should be included, please let me know! Also, I’m going to start providing a form where you can share feedback and thoughts on past Pine Press articles with their authors. You can find the form for this issue at the QR code below or by going to https://forms.gle/f1HbixoRUJWcRgLh6. Finally, in the interest of having issues come out at the start of their respective months instead of at the end, I’m going to be changing the name of next month’s issue. Although there will be the same number of issues, there will be no November 2023 issue, and next month’s issue will be titled December 2023. If you have submissions for the Pine Press or thoughts you’d like to share, you can send them to education@spartan.coop! Yours in cooperation, Lucinda (Orion) Vice President of Education

UPCOMING EVENTS

NOVEMBER DESCRIPTION

TIME

LOCATION

3rd: Chipotle Union Rally

11am

West Lansing Chipotle

3rd: Jug Painting event

6pm

Bowie

4th: Financial training

12-1pm

SHC Office

4th: SHC Hayride

5:30pm

see flyer at back of issue for details

4th: Show (Mayhem on MAC)

7pm

Montie (5$ PWYC)

8th: finance Committee

7pm

SHC Office

8th: facilities Committee

7:30pm

TBD

11th: Medieval Ren Riot Fest Party

TBD

Bowie

11th: 80s Party

TBD

Vesta

13th: Board Meeting

5:30pm

SHC Office

16th: Education Committee

6pm

SHC Office

18th: Gatsby Wine and Cheese Formal

10pm

Montie

20th: Membership Committee

TBD

22nd: facilities Committee

7:30pm

TBD

27th: Board Meeting

5:30pm

SHC Office

29th: finance Committee

7pm

SHC Office

30th: Education Committee

6pm

SHC Office

Week October 29-November 4 Aries-Listen. It’s a bad idea alright? You know it’s a bad idea, I know it’s a bad idea, the stars know it’s a bad idea. But all of us know you’re going to do it anyway. So why am I bothering? Taurus-Things are actually going well. The stars advise you to invest in glitter, mainly for dramatic effect. Gemini-This is a good week to stay home under a lethal amount of weighted blankets and do absolutely nothing. Which is good, because that was your plan anyway. Cancer-God has made the mistake of giving you creativity, and the stars highly advise you use them to make God (and everyone around you) regret that fact Leo-I mean you don’t need to drag that cool looking item out of the frat dumpster, but in the same way you don’t need to eat candy or watch tv. Might as well live a little Virgo- The stars say you’re gonna get laid Libra- Yes a three hour candle lit bubble bath sounds wonderful, but your roommates need to use the bathroom too, so maybe don’t take that long. The bath bomb would be nice though. Scorpio- The stars are literally just saying you should party it up Sagittarius- This week is a good week for making money! Whether that means through legal means or not they didn’t specify. Don’t get caught Capricorn-When an acquaintance comes around inviting you to do questionable moonlight rituals you should tag along. At the very least it’s going to be one hell of a story. Aquarius- Honestly just keep doing what you’re doing. You’re gonna be fine Pisces-Good news! The person you have a crush on has a crush on you too! Or at the very least they are down to make out with you, even if it’s just for the bit. The stars can’t tell the difference and neither can I, so have fun.

November 5-November 11 (Venus is apparently bored this week) Aries- Record literally everything and keep your receipts. I don’t know what's going to happen, but the stars are advising you to have proof. Best of luck, you’ll probably need it Taurus- The stars are saying it’s time to dump your POS boyfriend/girlfriend. Your friends are saying it’s long overdue. Gemini- You should think twice about that cute person, at least for now. You’ll meet up with them later when the time and place is right. Probably in a hospital after a failed arson attempt. Cancer- It might be a good idea to just kinda tuck a few bandages and some gauze in your bookbag. Maybe some disinfectant too. Leo-As comfortable as it might be, the person knocking on your door later this week is not someone you want to see you in a state of undress. Put on a shirt before letting them in. And pants too. Virgo- Something, something, Saturday. It doesn’t seem like the stars know either Libra- You should say yes to the roulette table, and no to crypto Scorpio-Sometimes you should practice restraint in your love life. This week is not one of those times. Get dicked down. Sagittarius- You should take a different route to class this week. Just to enjoy the view, smell the roses, and avoid getting hit by one of the CATA buses. Which is a shame actually; suing them could have really taken a good chunk out of your tuition Capricorn- The stars are telling you to stop stealing spoons from other co-ops; You should take them from the frat house instead. They don’t use them anyway Aquarius- The stars are telling you to fuck your boss. I, as a human being with common sense, and telling you to not do that. But neither of us can stop you, so do what you want. Pisces- Don’t bother preparing for that thing you planned to do. It’s not going to happen.

November 12-November 18 Aries- Yes you are in some bullshit, but let's be honest here; it is entirely, 100%, exclusively your fault. Taurus-Your freak flag looks a lot like a red flag to everyone around you. That being said, the stars still think you should let it fly. I think they find it entertaining tbh Gemini- The stars advise you that this is a perfect week to be a nosy little shit. Which is convenient; you were always a gossip anyway Cancer- Your romantic escapades will be very satisfying, and they will also have you climbing either through or out of a window Leo- Group projects are the worst. My condolences Leo Virgo- You have turned being a messy bitch into an art. The stars highly advise you to put down the paintbrush and step away Libra-You really want to create something this week, but the creative juices just aren’t flowing. Try vodka instead Scorpio-It’s only polite to make popcorn for those around you while they watch this shitshow you call life Sagittarius- When insecurity pops up just remind yourself that no one else knows what we’re doing either. We’re just better actors than you Capricorn- Yes that massive project you suddenly thought of seems like it would be a great idea, but maybe try to return to one of the other half-finished massive projects you started ages ago first. Aquarius- Yikes Pisces- Yeah, lets rip the bandaid off now, they ain’t calling you back

November 19-25 Aries- You’ll hear some shocking news that actually came to light a few weeks ago, like seriously, how did you not know? You really need to keep up with current events Taurus- Yes you will get a text from that Ex. Now you know you shouldn’t respond, but eh, it’ll probably be fine Gemini-Damn. Have you ever talked to your doctor about a potential anxiety disorder? Cancer- This week is going to start of very boring, though because of your willingness to make that everyone else’s problem it very much will not end that way Leo- All the stars are saying is that there is blood in your future. That could be worrisome, or they may just be trying to remind you to pick up some pads Virgo- Someone else has already tried that; that stars say it was a bad idea the first time too Libra- You know that thing that you had no use of, but it was too good to get rid of, so now it’s just kinda tucked in a drawer somewhere? Make sure you still have it, because it will finally come in handy Scorpio- Things have been actually going really well for you. Yeah enjoy it while it lasts because that is apparently wrapping up this week Sagittarius- You’ll realize that being self-destructive is actually way more fun than it has any right to be Capricorn-Everytime you try and take a nap something or someone is going to interrupt. I’d advise trying to get a good night's sleep instead, but we all know that's not gonna happen Aquarius- You’re going to try and be mysterious by dressing head to toe in all black, but you wear so much black anyway that no one’s really gonna notice. Pisces- That old high school friend who suddenly reached out is trying to get you into a pyramid scheme. Just stay off facebook this week

Buffalo Wild Wings – When Less is Not More Annika, Beal Haus The 2018 Buffalo Wild Wings rebranding was a mistake. It’s uninspired, mild, and everything you would never associate with America’s most mediocre sports bear chain. In this short design critique, I am going to break down why the “updated” logo for Buffalo Wild Wings (or as many call it, Bdubs) is an affront to the eyes and the downfall of the brand.

First, a look at the Bdubs branding throughout the ages. Though its logo has changed throughout the decades, many of its core elements remain the same, such as the use of the winged bison and the restaurant name, Buffalo Wild Wings. Aside from its original design, the Bdubs logo is constructed with a yellow circle with a black border, with the silhouette of a bison that has white wings. In its previous iteration, the brand name is in bolded text on the right. Prior to the 2018 redesign, the Bdubs logo followed a pattern of boldness, contrast, and a “strong” feel. This is consistent with the products Bdubs sells and the atmosphere of their restaurants.

Bdubs’ branding stays consistent with the to-go boxes they offer not just because they use the same logo, colors, and bold font, but also because of the word association the to-go boxes employ. These boxes usually tote slogans like “Experience The Thrill,” “Championship,” et cetera, because Bdubs is intended to be a place for people to gather and watch sports competitions. As such, Bdubs wants its brand to be associated with success and excitement, so people will come to their sports bars to watch games and eat wings. This association is also reinforced by Bdubs’ branding decision to have these slogans in all-caps, making their designs reflect the “rowdy” atmosphere you might encounter at Buffalo Wild Wings.

I think that, for the purpose of branding as a part of a larger system, the 2012-2018 Bdubs logo is the most effective design, and that the decision to follow recent marketing trends to “simplify” it in 2018 was a huge mistake. What makes the 2012 logo so successful is that it effectively marries the classic 1998 logo with a more modern feel, without becoming “sanded down” like many brands have in the last few years. The serif font’s decorative

strokes on the 2012 logo agree well with the wide, angular lines of the image portion of the logo, and give it a more cohesive feel. Personally, I think that the general motif of wide lines is what makes this design so successful, and why the most recent logo is a shame.

The 2018 redesign bends to the will of whatever fast-food corporations seem to think people of the 21st century want – lineless, dull, simplified logos. For example, the widely-hated 2016 Taco Bell logo redesign abandons the restaurant’s traditional colors for a minimalist look, killing both its recognizability and its ability to reinforce brand language among its clientele. The Bdubs 2018 redesign suffers from the same problems. The first, and perhaps worst offense, is that the classic jet-black colors have been removed entirely from the design, traded for a soft brown. This is not only confusing because it disrupts the consistency of Bdub’s designs, but also because it makes the logo harder to see from a distance. Additionally, removing the thick outline from the bison image reduces its recognizability. Finally, the transition from a serif to a sans-serif font disrupts the brand image. This design is hard to look at and hurts Bdub’s ability to compete. While the company may be following the lead of other brands with this redesign, it has done so at the price of sacrificing the brand identity it has been committed to since 1998. This new logo does not scream “sports bar” quite like its previous iterations. Instead, it looks like an invitation to a low-key meats market, which I’m sure is not Bdub’s intended audience. The right move for Bdubs to take would be to revert to its original logo, or at least create a new version that retains the key elements I listed before, so they have a better chance at competing against other restaurants. Bdubs has always been one of the best-known sports bar chains, so why shouldn’t their brand reflect that?

Alive By Anonymous [TW: death]

If the sound of your own name startles you, shocked to exist outside of your head, If you fixate on the slightest of touches, desperate to feel just a hint of tenderness, If the only one you reach out to at night is the familiar embrace of despair and desolation, If you hide behind boisterous laughs and jokes to camouflage the whirlwind of your brain, If music blares from under your door to mask the tears no one can know you shed, If getting high is the only way to convince yourself life is worth seeing to its natural end, If you couldn’t name a single soul that loves you for exactly who you are and not in spite of it, Can you even be considered living? Or must I be dead before someone recognizes that I’ve been alive all along?

Letters to the Editor Greetings Pine Press Associates, Emailing you in regards to the September Pine Press I recently received. While generally I found it to be a quality piece with content that co-opers could enjoy, there was one error I would recommend you print a correction for next edition. Whoever authored the discussion piece of the What is the best type of bear? had no grounds to state "one bear was so fictional we theorize that it is actually Jonathan from Phoenix in a bear hoodie." Not only does falsely stating Stoney the Bear does not exist destroy the hearts of our generation of endlessly adolescent Stoners, accusing Jonathan of Phoenix as a Stoney the bear phony has no weight in reality past one step from libel. Acting as a concerned citizen of the co-op I will not abide another hollow accusation thrown at one of my fellow co-opers nor a disparagement of another national icon beloved by many. For the sake of Cooperative journalism I request your support in rectifying this wrong. Best, Concerned Co-oper

Dear Concerned Co-oper, The piece in question was written by one of our expert researchers, and we trust their judgment fully. Until you can show us evidence that Stoney the Bear is not, in fact, Jonathan from Phoenix in a hoodie, we will not be issuing a correction. Sucks to suck, Pine Press Associates

Pine Press Survey Responses Pinecones -

Rachel's brownies are straight GAS (Brian, Vesta)

Pinecones to Lucinda for somehow putting up with it all (Sky, Orion)

Thank you to Alex for kicking out the pathetic creep at the party. That’s my DAWG. (Gabbi, Howland)

Everyone is beautiful and I love everyone coop people are the sweetest hotties (Via, Bowie)

So much appreciation to Scott, who has taken on his role as facilities office with gusto and dedication! Thank you for caring for our house and us. Also, I love hearing you humming in the morning. (Dinah, Rivendell)

Way to go Tomas for organizing a bunch of SHC-wide soccer games and volleyball tournaments!

Pinecones to Phoenix for being the birdhouse.

To whoever was listening to 16 Horsepower last month, glad someone else knows that band. (Jesse, Raft Hill)

To my roommate Kat, love you dearly and I appreciate you so much. You’re the bomb.com (Loren, Raft Hill)

Alex W. for doing hella dishes and keeping the house clean! (Alex S, Orion)

Shoutout to my housemates for the best late-night kitchen conversations about everything from how to make the best sandwich to Star Trek <3 (Saylor, Beal)

we are the best for making house puppy chow during midterm week - ur welcome roomies (Mckenzee and Erin, New Comm)

The Hedrick homies for all being so easy to co-exist with. Such a fun and lovely group of people (Bella, Hedrick)

Props to Scott for killing it on facilities and generally being great (Savannah, Rivendell)

Connor, Devang, Mike: thank you guys for being such amazing friends to me and listening to my silly little scenarios! i am so thankful for the support you all have given to me, and I look forward to the memories we will make together and as a house! (AJ, Vesta)

To the conflict res team for being amazing

Everyone at Bowie (and the other co-op people I’ve met!) has been so nice and welcoming. I feel very lucky to have met 20 new friends/awesome people :D (Alex, Bowie)

Thank you Alex and Leo for working with me to cover my officer meetings (Jake, Phoenix)

Sounds of the SHC -

Me N My Kup - Ken Carson (Brian, Vesta)

CHANT by Macklemore (Zea, Bowie)

!girl the way you move it! (Aka no hands) (Trixie, Bower)

Doll - Foo Fighters (Bella, Orion)

Mom Jeans!! (Sky, Orion)

Infatuation- Moravian (Gabbi, Howland)

Clay pigeons Michael Cera (Via, Bowie)

Big Black Car by Gregory Alan Isakov (Justynn, Hedrick)

Walkin ft. Key Glock - Denzel Curry (Ethan, Orion)

Country Lee Brice

My Love is Mine All Mine by Mitski (Jon, Orion)

Gay indie folk (Sufjan Stevens) (Daniel, Bowie)

Light up Gold + Tally up all the things that you broke by Parquet Courts (Jonathan, Phoenix)

I have been listening to the album "All Things Must Pass" by George Harrison so much lately. (Rachael, Vesta)

Oneohtrix Point Never - Krumville (Jesse, Raft Hill)

Fruit salad by the wiggles (Loren, Raft Hill)

Boy u nasty by dj fuckoff (Alex S, Orion)

Shut You Down (Motörhead) & Good Grief (Foo Fighters) (Ryan, Raft Hill)

Cody Fry-Waltz for Sweatpants (Gwen, Orion)

Any worze by I.am.orange (Zack, Howland)

Depeche Mode (Annika, Beal)

Alpha Brain Waves (homework music :/) and Joy Oladokun (Saylor, Beal)

Future me hates me - The Beths (Max, Beal)

MAMA MEG - UNGRATEFUL, PLAN B, NOT NICE, PRESSURELICIOUS (Mckenzee and Erin, New Comm)

Sweet Dreams, TN by The Last Shadow Puppets is my song of the week (Bella, Hedrick)

Florence & the Machine (Alex, Toad Lane)

Let's Have a Satanic Orgy by Twin Temple (Savannah, Rivendell)

tried and true - ween, didn't I - darondo, smallest church in sussex (piano/original version) - sea power (AJ, Vesta)

4 Big Guys By DigBar (Teah, Phoenix)

Love Lost- Mac Miller, The Temper Trap (Alex, Bowie)

Dancing in the Moonlight (Jake, Phoenix)

What is your favorite drink? How do you make it? -

Suja dupe. Ginger root steamed in a cup of hot water mixed with a few squeezed lemons, cayenne pepper (not a lot), and pineapple juice (till less sour) (Zea, Bowie)

Shirley temple. Sprite, grenadine, cherry, vodka (optional) (Trixie, Bower)

diet coke & vodka. self-explanatory (Bella, Orion)

Mojito! You wait for someone else to make you a mojito because muddling the mint is annoying (Sky, Orion)

Chai tea with some vanilla almond milk added (Via, Bowie)

1/2 Cider, 1/2 Cranberry Juice (Justynn, Hedrick)

ACTUAL pumpkin spice latte/coffee: 1 tablespoon canned pumpkin, 2 teaspoons brown sugar, dash of vanilla extract, dash of cinnamon and pinch of nutmeg and cloves (or use pumpkin pie spice mix). Add espresso (or just drip coffee) and milk, mix and enjoy! (Dinah, Rivendell)

My favorite drink is a red bull and vodka. 1 can sugarfree red bull, 2 shots vodka. Voila (Jon, Orion)

Chocolate milk. Ingredients: 1 (one) cup of chocolate milk & glass for serving (Daniel, Bowie)

Dirty Chai with oat milk. Steep some hella strong chai, add espresso and steamed oatmilk. Maybe some cane sugar simple syrup as well?? (Jonathan, Phoenix)

Tea! Just boil water and put the tea I want in (usually jasmine) and enjoy :) (Rachael, Vesta)

raw unfiltered ethanol, acetone and benzene. one third each. drinks for dragons (Jesse, Raft Hill)

Mint tea: heat up water, put in tea bag, add two tablespoons of sugar and one pour of oat milk. Enjoy! (Loren, Raft Hill)

Pirates on a boat (self explanatory) (Alex S, Orion)

English Butterbeer: Not the Harry Potter World version! Heat up some unflavored ale in a pot, then add butter, tempered egg yolks, brown sugar, and some spices. It's a lot of effort, but you end up with liquid Christmas, totally worth it. (Ryan, Raft Hill)

Cherry Bomb Mocktail: 1 liter lemon lime soda, 4 ounces grenadine, juice from 1 lime approx 2 tbsp, 4 maraschino cherries mix em up (Gwen, Orion)

I love the Long Island iced tea. To make it you go to the Riv on a weeknight and ask for a Long Island iced tea (Zack, Howland)

My fav bev is gin + ginger soda + true lime (basically a sad London Mule). (Annika, Beal)

"toxic waist" 1:1 green apple Gatorade and vodka. for extra flare add a Swedish fish (Max, Beal)

iced coffee - kenz ; rootbeer or sprites - erin (New Comm)

This is NA but I’ve been making iced coffee for myself for a while, I use a spoonful of instant coffee, roughly a tablespoon (or a lil less) of brown sugar, a drop of vanilla extract, and cold water and then I either froth it or use a small hand mixer to mix it. Then I add ice and oat milk. Super tasty, easy, and cheap but tastes like a $7 coffee shop drink (Bella, Hedrick)

I've been drinking a lot of hot whiskey ciders lately. Heat up a cup of that QD cider, mix in a fat pinch of cinnamon and a sprinkle of nutmeg, then add a shot of whiskey. I love this question! Ask again in the winter. (Savannah, Rivendell)

it is basic, but my favorite drink is definitely a matcha latte! you get about three tablespoons of boiling water and put it in a cup, then place and brush the matcha (I believe 2 teaspoons? dont take my word on that) until it is evenly distributed and is not chunky! here if you want to sweeten it, you could add a tablespoon or two of honey/vanilla syrup! from there depending on if youre making your latte hot or iced, either steam your milk OR just add it to the matcha, mix evenly and add ice if needed! then boom, tasty goodness methinks! (AJ, Vesta)

Water. You don’t. (Teah, Phoenix)

I don’t really drink but I fuck with chocolate milk heavily (Alex, Bowie)

Root beer. I don’t know how I make it, I’m just skilled like that (Jake, Phoenix)

Have any hot takes/unpopular opinions? -

Pineapple pizza is good (Zea, Bowie)

Horseshoe crabs are elite animals. (Trixie, Bower)

i feel like shampoo/conditioner made for curly/wavy hair intentionally sabotage you. maybe its just me or maybe im doing it wrong somehow but

they seem to have absolutely no affect compared to a regular shampoo or conditioner. its the products after the wash that make a difference Orion) -

😋 (Bella,

Do you really not like things that are seen as basic (starbucks, taylor swift, etc.) or have you just been conditioned to see those things as bad because they are predominantly enjoyed by young women? Life’s too short to pretend to hate things to seem cool (Sky, Orion)

Fnaf is good and I’m excited for the weird movie (Via, Bowie)

Sometimes I like Tex-mex more than authentic Mexican food (Justynn, Hedrick)

microwaved hotdogs are good. (Jon, Orion)

Nepo babies keep taking all the good clothes from thrift stores, they're stealing my style :( (Daniel, Bowie)

Sandals are the superior footwear with the only competitors being bare feet or sick ass black boots. (Jonathan, Phoenix)

stealing catalytic converters should be a protected cultural pastime (Jesse, Raft Hill)

Onions are gross (Loren, Raft Hill)

pineapple does not belong on pizza

If you spray-paint a message or something somewhere and it doesn't look

🤮(Alex S, Orion)

cool, it's not graffiti art, it's vandalism (Ryan, Raft Hill) -

Food tastes better out of bowls than off of plates. (Annika, Beal)

i love the dookie smelling water that emerges out of my kitchen floor daily, kinda camp. (Mckenzee and Erin, New Comm)

Idk if this is a hot take but you should probs be wearing shower shoes in the co-op showers (Bella, Hedrick)

Fireworks are annoying and overrated and I hate them so goddamn much. (Savannah, Rivendell)

Communism is cash money, capitalism is not cash money (Nick, Orion)

Pancakes are overrated. (Teah, Phoenix)

Everyone should wear shoes in the shower (Alex, Bowie)

Chess and game theory in general should be taught to kids at age six like in Armenia. Like this stuff should be taught in a similar style that we send kids to art class or gym class, maybe the teacher can even have a little dedicated week where they go over the rules of chess for an hour or so each day. (Jake, Phoenix)

Reasoning of dog with human hands supporters: -

I like all the hijinks that would ensue with a dog with human hands (Jon, Orion)

Cat with human face is more disturbing if it licks you I’d cry (Via, Bowie)

Cat would be too creepy with a human face. (Gwen, Orion)

Both terrify me but I don’t think I could exist in peace if my cat had a human face. I’d have nightmares all the time. I could get used to the dog with human hands (Bella, Hedrick)

cat with a human face would be too freaky (Nick, Orion)

I can put gloves on the dogs hands and ignore them. Cannot ignore a human face on a cat. (Sky, Orion)

I'm assuming that it's a two hand two paws type deal, this seems more manageable than a cat with the head of a human person (Ethan, Orion)

My dog's paws are so huge that he basically already has human hands, so I wouldn't find this as alarming as a cat with a human face. (Annika, Beal)

i am a cat lover. if there are a million fans of cats, im one of them. if there one hundred fans of cats, I am one of them. if there is one fan of cats, it IS me.....that being said, I chose dogs because arguably the cutest feature about a cat is probably its little face. imagine just lounging in bed-lights off definitely 2-3 am- and a literal sphinx jumps on your bed and scares the shit out of you.

just like a whole dude is staring at you from a cat's body. idk. maybe im weird but I think that is a little TOO out there, even for me. (AJ, Vesta) -

Jesus Christ this question. Um, okay. First of all I find both options utterly horrifying. And I can't say I'm exactly looking forward to seeing A) what the dog does now that they can open all the doors, or B) what their nails will look like after a day running around and digging up the backyard. But I'm allergic to cats. So here we are. (Savannah, Rivendell)

The dog could get u stuff and give you a backrub, also a cat could talk with a human face, and we believe that cats would be mean to us. (Mckenzee and Erin, New Comm)

I feel like a dog with human hands would recognizably be a dog (a weird one though) that you could chill with, while a cat with a human face would just be some random guy with a cat’s body that sleeps in your bed (Alex, Bowie)

I think being a dog would be really chill. Having human hands would make me an upgraded dog and i could probably be a influencer dog or something. (Brian, Vesta)

you can find videos of dogs with human hands but none of cats with human faces. (Max, Beal)

Reasoning of cat with a human face supporters: -

I would like to talk to my cat (Zea, Bowie)

I want to be able to look my pet in the eyes (Daniel, Bowie)

they're just a sphinx at that point. young baby me who wanted to be an egyptologist would love that shit. put a little nemes on their head even (Jesse, Raft Hill)

Bc a cat with a human face would be funny (Alex S, Orion)

ew! a dog with human hands jumping in your lap???? perverted (Gabbi, Howland)

I don’t want a dog feeling me up with human hands when they jump on me (Justynn, Hedrick)

All I can think of are the "helping hands" from The Labyrinth (Dinah,

Rivendell) -

Obviously Cat with Human face. How could you ever trust a Dog with Human hands. Further, what kind of monster would create a creature who has to walk on 4 human hands? (Jonathan, Phoenix)

If a dog had human hands it would grab food easier. (Loren, Raft Hill)

A dog with human hands would be a menace, like do dog I had could open doors even without opposable thumbs, they would get into sooooo much shit. All you would get from the cat is judgment and you already get that sometimes anyways. (Zack, Howland)

From asking around, I’ve found that everyone’s knee-jerk reaction is the dog, and I feel compelled to disagree with that. Dogs with human hands have tons of weird implications, they can get into your food cabinets easily, if they jump on you suddenly you’re getting groped by like four different hands, not to mention the amount of dirty handprints that will now be everywhere. Dogs eat their own poop! A cat with a human face will be mostly anatomically intact, there aren’t a lot of weird implications with that except that it won’t be able to bathe itself. There are some fun little quirks around the human faced cat, like listening to the sounds it makes while high on catnip and just all of the goofy faces it will make. I think I could get used to a human faced cat, while the dog would be a handful. (Jake, Phoenix)

I think it’d be funny to see the sassy hands of a cat. (Teah, Phoenix)

Other: -

Don’t like this don’t ask me this again 0/10 (Alex, Toad Lane)