2005-02-10-pine-press

Pine Press

February, 10 2005

Go home—read Lolita, then realize how empty your life has been without it.

Natalie’s Comic!

Pine Press Editorial Staff Editor-In-Chief Seymour Moskowitz Managing Editor George Ullman News Editor Jack Lawson Opinion Editor Sam Catchem Sports Editor Father Bonotto Edits Editor Tony Cataracts Pre-Editor Emile Pillsbury Post-Editor Esteban du Plantier Edit McEditson Eugene Hinkle Actually a Barber Bert Fischer

The Pine Press Spring 05: Issue 2 You are once again subjected to the Pine Press. Deal with it suckas. As far as the shit that’s gone down recently, quit downloading music that will get the SHC in trouble. Bite the damn bullet and buy or borrow a CD. It’s not hard. I don’t care if it shouldn’t be illegal—it is. Speaking of this, lay off the drugs. You’ll fuck things up there too. It’s not like there isn’t booze enough for everyone. Whatever you do, quit making Joan’s life hell with phone calls about dugs, downloads and other stupid shit. Whatever you have to do. Find a nice secluded park for weed. Go to Brody and smoke with the dumb freshmen.

Drugs are neither a right nor a privilege—they’re a quick and illegal way to act dumber than you usually would. But also, it can send you to jail and cause problems for SHC. Don’t like it? Move to Amsterdam. You’re probably one of those shitheads who threatened to move if George W. Bush was reelected. If you are, then guess what? He won, you can’t do drugs, and no one would be sad if you left.

Not even your mother. I promise. And speaking of that, someone asked me recently if we should respect the people who left after the election because they’re doing what their ancestors did. No, we should not, because they’re just whiney sore losers—they waited for the election to be over, which means they had enough faith in democracy and, Christ, John Fucking Kerry to think that that would fix everything.

They’re weak fools who deserve all the scorn in the world. Now, as for downloading muisc, ask me to borrow CDs. I have a lot, and would be happy to make tapes for anyone. MP3s are lame as shit anyway.

Whatever happened to mediaphiles who cared about things like packaging? Whatever happened to supporting artists you like? Yeah, I said it—you’re not supporting the artists. And don’t even try to give me shit about evil record companies. The artist is on the label because they are making the choice to make their money that way. If you don’t like the way they choose to make their money, don’t listen to their music. Or shut the hell up and buy it. Jerks. You know how much of this crap Joan and Evan have to deal with all the time. Are we going to grow up anytime soon? They work hard enough without having to worry about this shit. Seriously.

You know, as I've been assembling this issue of the Pine Press, I couldn’t help thinking there's a continuing thread throughout must of the news that has gone unnoticed by all but the most sensitive and intelligent of observers--bigotry. That's right, bigotry. I blame myself as much as everyone else, but now that I have come to my senses, I cannot read the news without cringing and wishing this were different.

But since I cannot change the past, I find it only proper that I attempt to change the future. It will be my goal to root out this most awful offense, starting with this group and continuing throughout this great land of ours and further into the world. What has been the uniting factor? Problems with Social Security will kill Old People. Abortion and pollution will kill babies. War will kill American soldiers and Iraqis.

Dirty bombs will kill Boston and New York. Tsunamis will kill Indonesians. Terrorism, cancer or AIDS will kill the rest of us. Have you guessed it? We're a bunch of bigots. We're not racist, sexist, classist, ageist, ableist, nationalist, religiousist, or speciesist--we're a bunch of dirty, filthy, awful existenceists.

That's right. We all proudly hold up the mantle of existenceism as though there's nothing wrong with that. We're obsessed with the idea that it is somehow so much better to be alive than dead that all we can talk about is how awful it would be to die. Think about it--in this co-op that claims so much damned diversity, is there one representative from the post-life community? When is the last time you even acknowledged a post-lifer on the street? I'll bet no one here has post-life friends. Oh sure, you have friends that are post-life now, but I'll bet the minute they changed over, you stopped calling them or inviting them out or anything. But it's not just us, our whole society is under the influence of this poison. You can't get a job without a heartbeat. If you die, you immediately lose your residence and are shunted away to post-life ghettos called cemeteries. If a movie depicts a member of the post-life community it is automatically classified as Horror. And forget Florida, if you're post-life, they won't even let you register to vote, except in Chicago of course, but they've always been a forward thinking lot. As well, almost every state bars bi-existence relationships, calling people who enter into loving and caring relationships with those on the wrong side of the cemetery gates a "sick necrophiliac." If the GOP was really the big tent party, they'd extend their tent over the cemetery walls. If the Democrats really cared about equality, they'd petition for the rights of those who have suffered the most in our society--those without the one commodity everyone must have: a pulse. So, please join me in my quest to right this wrong, to finally bring true equality to the shores of this great country, and end existinceism now and forever!

Why are you reading the Pine Press when you could be rockin’ yo’self with The Rock and Roll Bass Guitar?

Seriously! What a drag!

This here adorable little puppydog has submitted to the Pine Press.

Why haven’t you?

SUBMIT TO YOUR PINEY MASTER! BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE! Send submissions to pinepress@hotmail.com

We Sold Atlantis!

Sounds like a good excuse to party Atlantis House—Feb 19th 10 p.m.—the end of time Remember—just because we sold the house, doesn’t mean we can trash it. Keep the place clean. Be nice to it. Please.

We might have sold it, but that doesn’t mean we don’t still love it.

2005 Executive Committee Elections

We Need Candidates Candidates must: be 18 yrs. old, be an SHC Member for 1 year, and either be a student at the time of the election or submit a letter of intent stating that you will be a student during the EC term.

To All Our Members, We know you like to download songs illegally. We know you like to smoke things that are not necessarily tobacco.

It’s fun, we know. Unfortunately both actions are a breach of the contracts you signed to move into the co-ops. So, for future reference, we would really appreciate if the above mentioned activities did not occur in SHC houses.

From this point on, as you have been duly made aware in e-mails and reports from officers, reports of individuals or groups choosing to engage in such transgressions will be subject to action including, but not limited to, contacting the proper authorities and eviction.

Sorry, the law is really a bummer, we know. ~SHC

Looking for a Job with C0-OPS? NASCO, the North American Students of Cooperation, is an association of co-ops dedicated to educating and expanding the co-operative community across the U.S. & Canada. NASCO is currently accepting résumés for the position of Director of Member Services. Please send resumes to the address below by Monday, March 14. Expected start date for the position is April 1st, but the actual start date is flexible.

Director of Member Services

Specific responsibilities will include: • With the Director of Education and Training, coordinate, plan and organize the NASCO Institute and the NASCO Staff and Managers Conference • Manage and update NASCO website and data base • Coordinate NASCO Internship Network and job posting service • Produce “Co-op Voices” and other publications • Act as liaison and do field training and consulting for NASCO members, organizing groups and others in the Upper Midwest and Ontario • Represent NASCO with Canadian Associations, youth programs and the Cooperative Communicators Association • Coordinate NASCO board elections and the Annual General Meeting • Coordinate NASCO Hall of Fame selection process and program planning

Qualities needed

Director of Member Services

Specific responsibilities will include: • With the Director of Education and Training, coordinate, plan and organize the NASCO Institute and the NASCO Staff and Managers Conference • Manage and update NASCO website and data base • Coordinate NASCO Internship Network and job posting service • Produce “Co-op Voices” and other publications • Act as liaison and do field training and consulting for NASCO members, organizing groups and others in the Upper Midwest and Ontario • Represent NASCO with Canadian Associations, youth programs and the Cooperative Communicators Association • Coordinate NASCO board elections and the Annual General Meeting • Coordinate NASCO Hall of Fame selection process and program planning

Qualities needed

NASCO staff must be a highly motivated NASCO staff must be a highly motivated individuals with a strong desire to create and individuals with a strong desire to create and implement programs that are of maximum benefit implement programs that are of maximum to the cooperative community. Candidates for benefit to the cooperative community. positions should have strong writing and oral Candidates for positions should have strong communication skills; a warm, outgoing, and writing and oral communication skills; a warm, friendly personality; and a desire to travel (usually outgoing, and friendly personality; and a desire 1 to 2 trips per month). Experience working with a Jim Jones, NASCO, P.O. Box 7715, Ann Arbor MIbased 48107 e-mail: to travel (usually 1 to 2 trips per month). student or community group equity jim@nasco.coop; phone: 734-663-0889, fax: 734-663-5072 Experience working with a student or community cooperative is highly preferred. Applicants for the based group equity cooperative is highly Director of Member Services position should also NASCO is an equal opportunity employer.

We and our members in value diversitylarge in ourevents, staff. preferred. Applicants for the Director of Member have experience organizing Services position should also have experience in technical computer and website skills, and organizing large events, technical computer and preferably experience with desktop publishing and website skills, and preferably experience with date bases. Ability to work independently, self desktop publishing and date bases. Ability to motivation, and organizational skills are essential work independently, self motivation, and for the position. Salary is commensurate with

Please send your résumé and cover letter no later than Monday, March 14th to:

Jason’s Art Stuff

Steve O’Connor interviews

Justin Sullivan of New Model Army During early summer of last year, I was recruited to help launch a magazine that was to be both print and electronic. The great thing about that recruitment was that the editors gave all interested parties free reign over topics they wanted to write about and encouraged the staff of their fledgling magazine to seek out information from every nook and cranny they could find.

During early summer of last year, I was recruited to help launch a magazine that was to be both print and electronic. The great thing about that recruitment was that the editors gave all interested parties free reign over topics they wanted to write about and encouraged the staff of their fledgling magazine to seek out information from every nook and cranny they could find.

This magazine was to be like no other to exist; even its name was vague: Dog Tower. What is a tower of dogs, and how many canines are required to construct one? Fortunately, for our furry friends, those are both topics I am unable to answer. Sadly, as befalls many media enterprises, Dog Tower has yet to launch and here I sit, with what I consider a fantastic e-mail interview that took place last June, with one of my favorite singers and lyricists, Mr. Justin Sullivan of England’s New Model Army.

This magazine was to be like no other to exist; even its name was vague: Dog Tower. What is a tower of dogs, and how many canines are required to construct one? Fortunately, for our furry friends, those are both topics I am unable to answer. Sadly, as befalls many media enterprises, Dog Tower has yet to launch and here I sit, with what I consider a fantastic e-mail interview that took place last June, with one of my favorite singers and lyricists, Mr. Justin Sullivan of England’s New Model Army.

Who or what is New Model Army (NMA) and/or Justin Sullivan (JS)? To many people, Justin Sullivan is the enigmatic front man of a band they enjoy. To others, he is someone they have never heard of before, either musically or otherwise. To me, whether he is playing solo (debut solo album: Navigating By the Stars) or with his band who for the first time in twelve years, will be touring the US and Canada from March 6 to March 24. The closest they will be appearing to Lansing, will be Chicago (March 15 at Bottom Lounge) and Toronto, Ontario (March 13 at Horseshoe Tavern) with another noteworthy date in Austin, TX as part of the South by Southwest Music Fest where they will be at Elysium on March 18.

Who or what is New Model Army (NMA) and/or Justin Sullivan (JS)? To many people, Justin Sullivan is the enigmatic front man of a band they enjoy. To others, he is someone they have never heard of before, either musically or otherwise. To me, whether he is playing solo (debut solo album: Navigating By the Stars) or with his band who for the first time in twelve years, will be touring the US and Canada from March 6 to March 24. The closest they will be appearing to Lansing, will be Chicago (March 15 at Bottom Lounge) and Toronto, Ontario (March 13 at Horseshoe Tavern) with another noteworthy date in Austin, TX as part of the South by Southwest Music Fest where they will be at Elysium on March 18.

Steve O’Connor (SO): The first song, of New Model Army's that I'd ever heard back in 1988 (as a young lad of fourteen) is one that has seen many divisive opinions amongst fans of your music: Chinese Whispers. If someone were unfamiliar with your output what song and/or album, would you recommend they expose themselves to first?

Why?

Steve O’Connor (SO): The first song, of New Model Army's that I'd ever heard back in 1988 (as a young lad of fourteen) is one that has seen many divisive opinions amongst fans of your music: Chinese Whispers. If someone were unfamiliar with your output what song and/or album, would you recommend they expose themselves to first?

Why?

During early summer of last year, I was recruited to help launch a magazine that was to be both print and electronic. The great thing about that recruitment was that the editors gave all interested parties free reign over topics they wanted to write about and encouraged the staff of their fledgling magazine to seek out information from every nook and cranny they could find.

During early summer of last year, I was recruited to help launch a magazine that was to be both print and electronic. The great thing about that recruitment was that the editors gave all interested parties free reign over topics they wanted to write about and encouraged the staff of their fledgling magazine to seek out information from every nook and cranny they could find.

This magazine was to be like no other to exist; even its name was vague: Dog Tower. What is a tower of dogs, and how many canines are required to construct one? Fortunately, for our furry friends, those are both topics I am unable to answer. Sadly, as befalls many media enterprises, Dog Tower has yet to launch and here I sit, with what I consider a fantastic e-mail interview that took place last June, with one of my favorite singers and lyricists, Mr. Justin Sullivan of England’s New Model Army.

This magazine was to be like no other to exist; even its name was vague: Dog Tower. What is a tower of dogs, and how many canines are required to construct one? Fortunately, for our furry friends, those are both topics I am unable to answer. Sadly, as befalls many media enterprises, Dog Tower has yet to launch and here I sit, with what I consider a fantastic e-mail interview that took place last June, with one of my favorite singers and lyricists, Mr. Justin Sullivan of England’s New Model Army.

Who or what is New Model Army (NMA) and/or Justin Sullivan (JS)? To many people, Justin Sullivan is the enigmatic front man of a band they enjoy. To others, he is someone they have never heard of before, either musically or otherwise. To me, whether he is playing solo (debut solo album: Navigating By the Stars) or with his band who for the first time in twelve years, will be touring the US and Canada from March 6 to March 24. The closest they will be appearing to Lansing, will be Chicago (March 15 at Bottom Lounge) and Toronto, Ontario (March 13 at Horseshoe Tavern) with another noteworthy date in Austin, TX as part of the South by Southwest Music Fest where they will be at Elysium on March 18.

Who or what is New Model Army (NMA) and/or Justin Sullivan (JS)? To many people, Justin Sullivan is the enigmatic front man of a band they enjoy. To others, he is someone they have never heard of before, either musically or otherwise. To me, whether he is playing solo (debut solo album: Navigating By the Stars) or with his band who for the first time in twelve years, will be touring the US and Canada from March 6 to March 24. The closest they will be appearing to Lansing, will be Chicago (March 15 at Bottom Lounge) and Toronto, Ontario (March 13 at Horseshoe Tavern) with another noteworthy date in Austin, TX as part of the South by Southwest Music Fest where they will be at Elysium on March 18.

Steve O’Connor (SO): The first song, of New Model Army's that I'd ever heard back in 1988 (as a young lad of fourteen) is one that has seen many divisive opinions amongst fans of your music: Chinese Whispers. If someone were unfamiliar with your output what song and/or album, would you recommend they expose themselves to first?

Why?

Steve O’Connor (SO): The first song, of New Model Army's that I'd ever heard back in 1988 (as a young lad of fourteen) is one that has seen many divisive opinions amongst fans of your music: Chinese Whispers. If someone were unfamiliar with your output what song and/or album, would you recommend they expose themselves to first?

Why?

Justin Sullivan (JS): We've tried never to write the same song twice and I think that generally in 150or-so released songs we've succeeded. So in the end it's almost impossible to name one or even a handful of songs that would properly 'frame' NMA. I'm put in mind of the 20th Anniversary concert when we asked people each to send in the three songs that they really wanted us to play -and

Justin Sullivan (JS): We've tried never to write the same song twice and I think that generally in 150or-so released songs we've succeeded. So in the end it's almost impossible to name one or even a handful of songs that would properly 'frame' NMA. I'm put in mind of the 20th Anniversary concert when we asked people each to send in the three songs that they really wanted us to play -and

During early summer of last year, I was recruited to help launch a magazine that was to be both print and electronic. The great thing about that recruitment was that the editors gave all interested parties free reign over topics they wanted to write about and encouraged the staff of their fledgling magazine to seek out information from every nook and cranny they could find.

During early summer of last year, I was recruited to help launch a magazine that was to be both print and electronic. The great thing about that recruitment was that the editors gave all interested parties free reign over topics they wanted to write about and encouraged the staff of their fledgling magazine to seek out information from every nook and cranny they could find.

This magazine was to be like no other to exist; even its name was vague: Dog Tower. What is a tower of dogs, and how many canines are required to construct one? Fortunately, for our furry friends, those are both topics I am unable to answer. Sadly, as befalls many media enterprises, Dog Tower has yet to launch and here I sit, with what I consider a fantastic e-mail interview that took place last June, with one of my favorite singers and lyricists, Mr. Justin Sullivan of England’s New Model Army.

This magazine was to be like no other to exist; even its name was vague: Dog Tower. What is a tower of dogs, and how many canines are required to construct one? Fortunately, for our furry friends, those are both topics I am unable to answer. Sadly, as befalls many media enterprises, Dog Tower has yet to launch and here I sit, with what I consider a fantastic e-mail interview that took place last June, with one of my favorite singers and lyricists, Mr. Justin Sullivan of England’s New Model Army.

Who or what is New Model Army (NMA) and/or Justin Sullivan (JS)? To many people, Justin Sullivan is the enigmatic front man of a band they enjoy. To others, he is someone they have never heard of before, either musically or otherwise. To me, whether he is playing solo (debut solo album: Navigating By the Stars) or with his band who for the first time in twelve years, will be touring the US and Canada from March 6 to March 24. The closest they will be appearing to Lansing, will be Chicago (March 15 at Bottom Lounge) and Toronto, Ontario (March 13 at Horseshoe Tavern) with another noteworthy date in Austin, TX as part of the South by Southwest Music Fest where they will be at Elysium on March 18.

Who or what is New Model Army (NMA) and/or Justin Sullivan (JS)? To many people, Justin Sullivan is the enigmatic front man of a band they enjoy. To others, he is someone they have never heard of before, either musically or otherwise. To me, whether he is playing solo (debut solo album: Navigating By the Stars) or with his band who for the first time in twelve years, will be touring the US and Canada from March 6 to March 24. The closest they will be appearing to Lansing, will be Chicago (March 15 at Bottom Lounge) and Toronto, Ontario (March 13 at Horseshoe Tavern) with another noteworthy date in Austin, TX as part of the South by Southwest Music Fest where they will be at Elysium on March 18.

Steve O’Connor (SO): The first song, of New Model Army's that I'd ever heard back in 1988 (as a young lad of fourteen) is one that has seen many divisive opinions amongst fans of your music: Chinese Whispers. If someone were unfamiliar with your output what song and/or album, would you recommend they expose themselves to first?

Why?

Steve O’Connor (SO): The first song, of New Model Army's that I'd ever heard back in 1988 (as a young lad of fourteen) is one that has seen many divisive opinions amongst fans of your music: Chinese Whispers. If someone were unfamiliar with your output what song and/or album, would you recommend they expose themselves to first?

Why?

Justin Sullivan (JS): We've tried never to write the same song twice and I think that generally in 150or-so released songs we've succeeded. So in the end it's almost impossible to name one or even a handful of songs that would properly 'frame' NMA. I'm put in mind of the 20th Anniversary concert when we asked people each to send in the three songs that they really wanted us to play -and

Justin Sullivan (JS): We've tried never to write the same song twice and I think that generally in 150or-so released songs we've succeeded. So in the end it's almost impossible to name one or even a handful of songs that would properly 'frame' NMA. I'm put in mind of the 20th Anniversary concert when we asked people each to send in the three songs that they really wanted us to play -and

During early summer of last year, I was recruited to help launch a magazine that was to be both print and electronic. The great thing about that recruitment was that the editors gave all interested parties free reign over topics they wanted to write about and encouraged the staff of their fledgling magazine to seek out information from every nook and cranny they could find.

During early summer of last year, I was recruited to help launch a magazine that was to be both print and electronic. The great thing about that recruitment was that the editors gave all interested parties free reign over topics they wanted to write about and encouraged the staff of their fledgling magazine to seek out information from every nook and cranny they could find.

This magazine was to be like no other to exist; even its name was vague: Dog Tower. What is a tower of dogs, and how many canines are required to construct one? Fortunately, for our furry friends, those are both topics I am unable to answer. Sadly, as befalls many media enterprises, Dog Tower has yet to launch and here I sit, with what I consider a fantastic e-mail interview that took place last June, with one of my favorite singers and lyricists, Mr. Justin Sullivan of England’s New Model Army.

This magazine was to be like no other to exist; even its name was vague: Dog Tower. What is a tower of dogs, and how many canines are required to construct one? Fortunately, for our furry friends, those are both topics I am unable to answer. Sadly, as befalls many media enterprises, Dog Tower has yet to launch and here I sit, with what I consider a fantastic e-mail interview that took place last June, with one of my favorite singers and lyricists, Mr. Justin Sullivan of England’s New Model Army.

Who or what is New Model Army (NMA) and/or Justin Sullivan (JS)? To many people, Justin Sullivan is the enigmatic front man of a band they enjoy. To others, he is someone they have never heard of before, either musically or otherwise. To me, whether he is playing solo (debut solo album: Navigating By the Stars) or with his band who for the first time in twelve years, will be touring the US and Canada from March 6 to March 24. The closest they will be appearing to Lansing, will be Chicago (March 15 at Bottom Lounge) and Toronto, Ontario (March 13 at Horseshoe Tavern) with another noteworthy date in Austin, TX as part of the South

by Southwest Music Fest where they will be at Elysium on March 18.

Steve O’Connor (SO): The first song, of New Model Army's that I'd ever heard back in 1988 (as a young lad of fourteen) is one that has seen many divisive opinions amongst fans of your music: Chinese Whispers. If someone were unfamiliar with your output what song and/or album, would you recommend they expose themselves to first? Why? Justin Sullivan (JS): We've tried never to write the same song twice and I think that generally in 150or-so released songs we've succeeded. So in the end it's almost impossible to name one or even a handful of songs that would properly 'frame' NMA. I'm put in mind of the 20th Anniversary concert when we asked people each to send in the three songs that they really wanted us to play -and 123 different ones got mentioned. I think that's unusual for a band. As far as an introductory album goes, I think

Who or what is New Model Army (NMA) and/or Justin Sullivan (JS)? To many people, Justin Sullivan is the enigmatic front man of a band they enjoy. To others, he is someone they have never heard of before, either musically or otherwise. To me, whether he is playing solo (debut solo album: Navigating By the Stars) or with his band who for the first time in twelve years, will be touring the US and Canada from March 6 to March 24. The closest they will be appearing to Lansing, will be Chicago (March 15 at Bottom Lounge) and Toronto, Ontario (March 13 at Horseshoe Tavern) with another noteworthy date in Austin, TX as part of the South by Southwest Music Fest where they will be at Elysium on March 18.

Steve O’Connor (SO): The first song, of New Model Army's that I'd ever heard back in 1988 (as a young lad of fourteen) is one that has seen many divisive opinions amongst fans of your music: Chinese Whispers. If someone were unfamiliar with your output what song and/or album, would you recommend they expose themselves to first?

Why? Justin Sullivan (JS): We've tried never to write the same song twice and I think that generally in 150or-so released songs we've succeeded. So in the end it's almost impossible to name one or even a handful of songs that would properly 'frame' NMA. I'm put in mind of the 20th Anniversary concert when we asked people each to send in the three songs that they really wanted us to play -and