Things I Learned from Butt Chugging Wine by Jeff Winkler The insertion of foreign objects into the rectum intestinum of Homo sapiens is nothing new. As you’ll remember from history class, the Maya administered tobacco and hallucinogenic enemas for religious purposes, and also probably because they were bored. They were kind enough to leave behind stone reliefs and figurines documenting the deed—now we use web videos and blogs for similar purposes. And we got rid of the cumbersome spiritual aspects of inserting tubes into our butts as well. This is called progress.
The latest round of anal-centric tittering occurred in late September when University of Tennessee Pi Kappa Alpha member Alexander “Xander― Broughton (yes, presumably pronounced “bro-ton― ) was treated for severe alcohol poisoning after “allegedly―  butt chugging boxed wine (the proper bro-menclature, I believe, is “Tour de Franzia― ).
by Jeff Winkler
Butt chugging—in case you were blissfully unaware—allows the alcohol to bypass the liver’s filtering and metabolic processes so that the ethanol drains straight into the bloodstream via veins to the vena cava. You’re basically short-circuiting the body’s poison defenses by putting liquor in your ass. It’s supposed to be an intense and near-instant buzz.
by Jeff Winkler
WHY GIRLS SHOULD ONLY HAVE ANAL SEX
By Kara Crabb Ass sex rules because destruction, degradation, and pain are FUN.
THINKING WITH YOUR ANUS Obviously anal sex is the wrong idea. That’s why it rules. Part of the thrill, though, is disobeying your fundamental physiology. Butt sex is fun for the same reason it’s fun to piss off a teacher or take a piss on a The desire has to come from a deep need to feel degraded cop car, or burn down a church— ANAL FISSURES BUILD CHARACTER except, get this, the only authority that YOU HAVE TO WANT IT you’re rebelling against is yourself. getting into the spirit of anal. You go through days of not wanting to eat because of not wanting to shit because of not wanting to reopen the scar tissue that has hopefully been developing on your butthole, but eventually the fissure does go away and you’ll either be a) wanting to go through it all over again, or b) taking precautions for next time. That’s what we do. It doesn’t make me inferior or powerless, it makes me happy. Before I realized that I like to be treated like shit, I was having boring, terrible, P-in-the-V type sex. It starts with chivalry and ends one forced, weak orgasm later. It doesn’t have to be that way!