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mehro

mehro

Photography IRENE CHEN. Fashion CAMERON GARCIA.

Let’s start this off with a game

who I am now, and I wouldn’t want

get a day off from school and work.

of Would You Rather. Would

to change the situation that I am in

I would choose that selfishly and

you rather be the leader of an

now. Perhaps, if I didn’t make the

selflessly.

advanced underground civilization

decision I made that day, my life

during the zombie apocalypse,

would be different now. I wouldn’t

You’ve spoken in the past about

or be held captive in a futuristic

want to risk [that] because I’m

your desire to branch out into

underwater utopia during an alien

so happy with how [things have]

acting or directing. Was there a

invasion?

turned out [so far].

specific moment that made you

I would rather be the leader of an

I would have to choose a random

realize you wanted to explore

advanced underground civilization

day in the future, because I

that?

because I like taking responsibility

wouldn’t want to change my

I fell in love with acting when I went

for things. I like having that weight

current life potentially for the

to a summer program at a school

on my shoulders. As a prisoner,

worse. I learned so many lessons

called Crossroads in Santa Monica.

yes, it’s a utopia, but I wouldn’t

from the situation I would change

The class of kids was so talented

know how they would treat me, so

that I’ve taken with me since that

and amazing. Even the smell of

I would say leader. What would you

mistake.

the theater, as soon as I walked in,

choose?

there was just something [about That’s a really good answer, and I

it]. It was an experience I had been

That’s a hard one. With the alien

agree with all of those points.

longing for my whole life that I

invasion, there’s still a chance

So you’re with me. You would do

didn’t know I [longed] for.

that you could somehow escape.

the same thing.

[I] had some amazing teachers

If we’re under the impression

when I was a kid, but Ginny Russell

that things might be better than

Totally. That’s why there are

was the first teacher — especially

they were before, then I would

movies telling us not to mess with

with acting — who believed in

choose that because I would not

the past because we’ll mess up

me a hundred percent. [She]

do well leading an underground

the future.

supported me and loved me for

civilization. Everyone would be

Back to the Future.

who I was. That woman, and that

dead in a week, so that would be

circumstance, planted the seed of

the safer option.

Would you rather have a national

acting and theater [in me], the love

Fair.

holiday in your honor, or be able

from that [experience] extended

to change anything about a pre-

from there, and the forest grew [a]

Would you rather relive a day in

existing holiday?

plant of film, art, and expression.

the past where you could change

The more holidays, the better.

All [of it grew] from that moment in

anything that happened, or would

The more breaks that people

my life.

you rather live a random day in the

have, the [happier] people are.

future but not know what events

You don’t have to pay for parking

That’s a very important thing to

will occur?

on a holiday. I would take another

have when you’re thinking about

My [intuition is telling] me to [go to

holiday in my honor. I would be

pursuing a creative career. I feel

the past and] change something.

honored, and I think people would

like a lot of people know it can be

There’s one particular day.

be stoked. Maybe it’ll become a big

an unstable career path to pursue,

There’s one particular thing that

enough deal where people can get

so they’re afraid of where they

immediately came to my mind that

school off, and kids would be super

might end up if it doesn’t work

I wish I hadn’t done. At the same

stoked. [There’s] nothing better

out. With people who want to do

time, I wouldn’t want to change

than a random holiday where you

something creative, it’s very

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important to instill that motivation

song makes you feel. It’s deeper.

and acceptance from a young age.

It takes more time to create a film

That fear hinders people from

than a song or a music video. It’s

I can definitely tell that you have a

following their dreams all the

something that I would love to

varied taste in music, so I’m sure

time, and I wish it didn’t. I wish

experience at the highest level

that there are so many different

that people went for a thousand

whenever that time comes. I’ve

people from different genres.

percent [of their dreams], but I

already had the chance to work

I [haven’t] even [mentioned] Cat

[also] believe that people possess

with incredible actors in my career,

Stevens, Van Morrison, or Lana Del

and receive their deepest desires.

and it’s just the beginning. Having

Rey. [There are] so many people

[They get] exactly what they truly

the opportunity to act alongside

that I’m missing. [There are] recent

want. Perhaps, putting everything

my heroes and incredible rising

artists that are so incredible, like

out on the line could lead to

stars, and being able to be a part

boygenius. Lil Yachty’s most recent

risks that are not conducive to

of that as often as I want, would

album is amazing. Have you heard

a healthy spirit [and mentality]

add another wonderful flavor into

it?

within themselves. I completely

my life. I’m always looking for the

understand. This is a wild journey

best. I’m always looking for the

I have not. I’ll have to check it out.

that we are on, and I’m so grateful

best way to live my life and to get

Please check it out. The musicality

for that experience. I don’t know if

the most out of it at every single

[of] it is [phenomenal]. Aurora is

I’d be here without it.

moment.

[also] incredible. My best friend

on and on.

loves Aurora, so I hear her quite a Is there anything that you feel like

Who were some of the biggest

you would gain through acting or

influences or inspirations that

directing that you don’t feel like

shaped you and your work today?

Let’s talk about your creative

you could get or are currently

With these questions, anybody

process. Obviously, that can

getting through music?

that you [mention, there are]

change from song to song. What

Yes! There is.

twenty people you don’t mention

are some of the more consistent

that should be mentioned, but I

moments or steps in your process

They are quite similar creative

will try to say as many as I can. I

when you’re creating your songs?

fields, but they differ in a lot of

absolutely love Nirvana. Stanley

Iceis, are you a songwriter?

ways too.

Kubrick’s films are jaw-dropping.

I’ve been lucky to co-direct all [of

Amy Winehouse has had a huge

Yes and no. I write a lot of lyrics.

my] music videos — shout out

impact on my life. Aretha Franklin

You write lyrics. You’re a poet.

to Ryan Calavano — that we’ve

has had a huge impact on my life.

[That] makes sense. The reason

made so far. I get to scratch that

And The Beatles. Every time you

why I asked is because [you asked]

itch of being on a set with a team

think of somebody, [you think of

an interesting question. You know

of people [to] make something

somebody] else.

that the process isn’t the same

together visually, which is an itch

I love Elliott Smith. I love The Cure,

every time, and it’s true. Not all

that I love to scratch. There’s

Joni Mitchell, Michael Jackson,

the songs are the same, and every

something about being part of a

Prince, and David Bowie. [I also

song that’s out has come about in

film that is unlike a piece of music.

love] Francis Ford Coppola. If

its own unique way. There isn’t a

There are a lot of similarities,

we’re talking about [actors],

process that I abide by in terms of

[but they] are different [forms of

there’s Marlon Brando, Denzel

writing and crafting songs. Some

expression]. Movies make you feel

Washington, Meryl Streep, and

songs take longer to craft than

something different than [what] a

Barbara Stanwyck. [The list] goes

others. [Some songs are] written

PHO S P HOR • MEH RO

bit.

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almost immediately.

both sides of it. [I saw how] I could

have] to be able to go there

The thing that’s consistent is

[have been] impacted selfishly,

when necessary, because there

that when you are inspired by

but [I also saw what] I hadn’t lost.

are priceless treasures in those

something that happens, you

I didn’t lose a father, I didn’t lose

untapped places.

have to act on it immediately

a son, and I didn’t lose a brother.

Of course, there’s a line of being

as a creative. Don’t push it until

I still lost meaningful people in my

too direct, of going past the point

later because it won’t be the

life, but [I had] the perspective of

of artistic and crossing the line

same. There are some creative

knowing that nothing is promised.

into indulgence. That’s walking

expressions that are so vivid in

None of this is guaranteed.

that tightrope. Every [listener is]

your inner world that you can

That was the most significant

going to have a different opinion.

go back to it later and be fine,

day of my life. The process of me

Every [reader is] going to have a

but when you have that initial

becoming myself as a human being

different opinion. I’m sure some

inspiration, you have to work on it.

and realizing who I am [started

people [who] read I Know Why the

When I was inspired, I worked on it,

on] that day. The vulnerability of

Caged Bird Sings hated the book,

and I got as much or as little done

the lyrics came from that night the

and other people said, “this is too

as I possibly could in that stretch

song was written. The expression

vulnerable,” or “this is too much.”

of time.

of it comes from opening and

I read that book [and I was]

being willing to go to [that place]

flabbergasted at her genius.

You get pretty intimate and

and get to the root of it. [Getting]

Talk about somebody [who]

thought-provoking with a lot of

to the core of it is a practice that

has inspired me in my life. Maya

the lyrics in your songs. Are there

I’m very grateful to be able to look

Angelou flabbergasted [me with]

any personal moments you would

at and do.

her vulnerability, genius, brilliance,

feel comfortable sharing that

and timelessness. [The] simple

inspired some of those lyrics?

Is there ever a moment when

answer [is], you can’t be too

The first song I wrote that made

you’re writing a song like that

vulnerable. [The] more complicated

me feel like I could actually be a

where you feel like you need to

answer [is], walk the tightropes

songwriter was “lightning.” Up to

reel it in a bit because it seems

that you want to walk. You can

that point, I loved songwriting.

a bit too — I won’t use the word

define the line [between] when

It was really fun, and it was

vulnerable — direct about what

it’s too indulgent, just right, or not

something that I was really

you’re going through?

vulnerable enough.

passionate about. The night that I

This is a very interesting question,

wrote “lightning,” I played it for the

because it’s minute. It’s specific,

That’s fair. Everyone interprets

person that I was with at that time,

and it’s something that a lot of

things differently, so I feel like if

who I loved very much [and] still

people wouldn’t necessarily think

you’re comfortable, and you think

[do], and they cried. I didn’t realize

about. I would say, for anybody

it’s tasteful personally, then you

what the song was about when it

[who’s] looking to be a writer, that

hit the sweet spot. It’s right there,

was written.

there is no such thing as being too

and that’s the important part.

[I came] to realize, when we were

vulnerable. The process and the

That’s the important part. If it

making the music video for it, that

practice of going to that part of

hits the sweet spot for you as

it was probably inspired by my

yourself and expressing that part

the creative, then that’s [what

experience of losing a best friend

of yourself is so, so, so important.

matters].

and my grandpa on the same day

Going to the depths and extending

— the duality of a life fully lived

past those depths is such an

Let us talk about your upcoming

and a life cut short. I could see

important practice as a writer. [You

release, “dopamine.” Going back

PHO S P HOR • MEH RO

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to one of the topics we discussed

night, he wanted to get home,

unique expression of something

earlier, was there anything that

and I knew I was keeping him. [We

that I have yet to really express in

felt different about how you

were] like, “Make a decision. Make

that way. It sounds different. I’m

approached creating “dopamine”

a decision. Make a decision. Ah,

using different parts of my voice,

compared to some of the other

this one. This one.” I told myself

but at the same time, it doesn’t feel

songs you’ve written?

I wasn’t going to get attached

like I’m doing something different

[It was a] very unique process. It

to it, because it wouldn’t be the

for the sake of it. I don’t like when

was actually written in this chair.

final vocals. It ended up being the

artists do that.

I had just gotten home from a

final [vocals]. That is exactly what

It’s a progression. It’s an evolution.

video shoot, and I decided to go

happened.

It’s showing that we are constantly

live. I was saying hi to everybody,

[I] produced the record more

venturing forward. We’re

and I was feeling good. I came off

with an engineer named Steve

constantly blazing a trail, [and]

of that live. I started strumming

Hammonds, and the rest is history.

we don’t know where [it’s] going.

something during that live, and it

I played it for my producer, he was

It’s wonderful, fulfilling, different,

called [to] me to be played again

absolutely blown away by it, and

and exciting because there are no

on the guitar, so I kept playing it. I

the [song] is the way that you hear

[expectations]. There isn’t anything

was on a voice memo for about ten

it today.

like, “Oh, this last song did well,

minutes, and the beginning verse

and we need to repeat that. See?

came right away. About nine [or]

It’s always nice when the creation

Yeah, see?” No. It’s nothing, and

ten minutes into that recording,

process is so effortless from start

it’s everything. At the end of the

the chorus happened. I didn’t have

to finish. It’s like a eureka moment,

day, it’s just a song, but maybe it’ll

any other lyrics after that. I turned

but you’re not aware it’s one of

be a song that touches a person’s

off the [voice memo], and I said,

those moments until you’re at the

life for the rest of their life. Who

“Okay, that’s something.”

end of it.

fucking knows? I’m very proud of

I started recording with an

Right. You’re completely unaware.

this little song.

engineer named Adam Comstock.

A eureka moment is a perfect

We recorded the guitars, but I still

way to describe it. There [was]

I have a sentence that I want you

had no lyrics. I went live because

some stress in there, too. It was

to fill in the blanks for. “dopamine”

I was alone on a Friday night, and

effortless, but it was also stressful

is a great song to listen to when

he [sent a message] in the chat

because we needed to get it done.

you’re *blank* because *blank*.

[at] about [the] hour [mark saying],

It’s something that you can’t try

“dopamine” is a great song to listen

“I’m waiting.” I [was] like, “Oh, shit.

to replicate, and that’s why those

to when you’re numb because it

I need to write these fucking lyrics.

processes are so fun. You find

doesn’t take life too seriously, but

I need to record this song. I need

yourself in a different situation and

it addresses serious points in life.

to record these vocals. We need to

let the universe lead you to certain

do this.”

destinations that you otherwise

It’s the contrast of talking about

I [wrote those] lyrics as fast as I

wouldn’t end up at.

heavy issues in an unserious way.

possibly [could]. I [didn’t] think

You could play that song [to] a

about the meaning. It was all a

How do you feel like “dopamine”

kindergarten classroom. I hope

stream of consciousness. We

sets itself apart from your

that they would enjoy it.

recorded the vocals. We recorded

previous albums and songs?

two-and-a-half takes. We comped

It’s drastically different, and we’re

If you could have people who are

it in fifteen minutes, maybe even

not resting on any of our laurels

listening to your music for the first

ten minutes. It was late on a Friday

here, which I absolutely love. It’s a

time take something away,

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whether it’s motivation, a message, or some form of

With the year coming to a close, is there anything

inspiration, what would it be?

you are looking forward to, either personally or

I thought [this] question was going to go one way, and

professionally, in the remainder of the year or early

then [it went another way]. How do I want people to

next year?

feel the first time? I want them to have to listen to it

There isn’t anything official that I can [talk about] at

again. Whether they like it, hate it, love it, or despise

this very moment because I don’t want to make any

it, I want them to listen to it again. At the end of the

false promises. There are things that I’m very excited

day, I want my music to be a part of people’s lives. [I

about, but they’re not official yet. You’ll see what is

want it to] give them memories they will cherish. Those

happening [soon]. There’s something happening early

are the best songs, the ones that make memories

next year that I’m very excited about. Again, nothing is

you don’t realize you’re making. You’re listening to

official. I’ve been having some wonderful [experiences]

it subconsciously. I hope that my music goes within

writing songs that I’m incredibly excited to share. I

people’s lives, hearts, and minds subconsciously.

don’t have [exact dates], but it will be early next year.

There’s plenty of music where I first listened to it and hated it, or movies that I watched the first time and

Exciting! You have “dopamine” coming out soon, so

didn’t get, but then you get punched in the face with

I’m sure whatever comes next is going to be really

it at the right moment, exactly when you’re meant to.

good too.

I want people to listen, when they’re listening to my

I hope so. It’s the first time I’ve released music since

music for the first time. I want them to feel forced to

March of this year, so I’m very excited to release this.

listen to it again. It might not be right away. It might be a week later. It might be a month later. But I want them to listen to it again. The message I want to leave them with is whatever message they need to hear.

[If] there’s something in their life that they need, or something they need to change, that’s the thing I want for them.

We all have music like that, where we hear it for the first time and we don’t know what to think until it forces us to listen again, and again, and again.

Sometimes, it lives in our memories. Sometimes, a few months or a couple years later, it finally resonates with us. I think that’s really important for anyone who enjoys and listens to music.

I completely concur. We all have those experiences. We [all] have those songs. For people [who] enjoy music, it’s a priceless feeling to have. You’re not even aware [you’re having one of those experiences]. It’s similar to the process of writing songs. You don’t know what’s going to happen. [When] I was writing “dopamine,” I didn’t realize what was happening as it was happening.

It’s such a beautiful thing. You look back on it and realize how all those little mistakes led to that thing.

[It’s] the same way we enjoy music in our lives.

PHO S P HOR • MEH RO

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