iv.abandon all hope, ye who enter here

Written by: Jason Ann Silverio

It’s one of these ordinary days that I feel like doing nothing but be at my phone the whole day, while still in my pajamas. When all of a sudden,

“ is is the Chinese Coast Guard. You are trespassing Huang Yan Dao, part of the territorial waters and Exclusive Economic Zone of the People’s Republic of China. Turn around immediately or we will use force!” was answered with a gesture of neglect and disrespect. Funnily though, they are the ones at fault but the pity is on us, as we are at the su ering end. e spark of hope is growing faint, as its dimness gets overwhelmed by the chastising darkness.

“Chubby bunny!” shouted my friend, with laughter bursting inside this two-storey apartment. Our mouths were full of marshmallows, holding on for dear life. If only you could see our faces; we laughed so hard, and one of us even peed! Gross, but you could tell it was really funny!

I guess, it’s still gonna be a good day today. I went to the kitchen to get myself a meal.

All these years of experience given the working environment, still, the thing that awakens my darkest fear points to the torture of drowning… and dying in such painstaking process. But there they are -- circling us on these besieged waters, haughtily giving us an impression that because we’re aboard a mere ‘bangka’, we can be sunk in the blink of an eye. Another day at hell, another experience of facing my fear once again. Hush the hassle, for this is a living! e choices given remain dire: tolerate a nagging ‘intsik’s’ radioed warning or su er a growling stomach.

“Hello guys, welcome to our home!” One of my roomies was recording herself while our other board-mate was cleaning. “Here’s our most pisan pisan na boardmate, Ralph!” she introduced, and continued on her mini-vlog. I was just there watching them. I didn’t notice that I was actually smiling because of that simple, but, genuine moment.

Before we could steer away from the disputed boundary, the enormous vessel red a scourging force of water towards us. It was enough to topple our boat, leaving us mewling in panic. We had nowhere else to go, but back.

Sometimes we are compensated with enough catch worth a day’s e ort, sometimes our tools and sh are embargoed, and in the worst cases, some local shing boats are capsized. Yet, we can’t halt this perilous job, I can’t. I have mouths to feed. e fangs of diplomacy don’t put up much of a ght. Our ultimatum

After I had gotten myself full, I had a shower to freshen up myself. When I finished changing, I grabbed my phone quickly.

“Hell does not just preside in the a erlife, as life bears enough torment and anguish. And now, I am starting to debunk the myth that hell is not real.”

“ML ta, custom game.” My friends asked to play Mobile Legends, inviting the boyfies to play along. Of course, we were noisy, trashtalking in-game, and just boasting playfully during the clash. It was chaotic, but kinda wanna do it again! After the game, we went outside for a walk. We bought Aice ice cream at the famous Chicken Diggers karenderya, then stopped by Angel’s Burger to buy our favorite footlong sandwich. We were satisfied! We headed right back to the apartment.

It was a cloudy afternoon and I thought of staying outside for awhile…

“Sukol!” A few minutes later, we found ourselves playing ‘sukol’ and ‘tumba-balay’ on the street, with our neighbors wondering what we’re up to, they looked like they were enjoying too!

I was thirsty, and so, I had to get ice-cold water from the fridge.

“Let’s do karaoke.” A friend invited. Without secondthoughts, we left straight-away! We had rounds of picking e Filipino people rejoiced with the striking campaign speeches and people-smart initiatives of Rodrigo, leaving the majority of those stricken with poverty enamored with his charms. I was proud to cast my vote on his name on the ballot. Finally, my fellow shermen will never have to endure the oppression from the Chinese. Philippines shall bear the fruit of its triumph! I can’t wait to see it unfurl before my eyes! ough appearing to emulate assertiveness, as expected from a leader that he should be, yet the president chose to make a jest out of the winning statements that he uttered in favor of the majority’s plea. I was part of those who sincerely believed his jetski bravado. I laid my trust, and our future in his hands… and that made me STUPID. But you know what, that makes him a joke of a president too. My sentiments of ire appear to be too late, as I’ve abandoned all hope on him. at was one presidential term wasted, a barren six years. Is he merely keeping the seat warm for the next president who shall resolve his failures? As I stare at the setting sun plunging in the sea’s horizon, I had a contemplation: Just like the religious dogma, we are the ones responsible for being deserving of a place in hell. is is our hell. is administration is our punishment. And what is our sin if you may ask? Electing the wrong leaders.

Year 2016. A quick trip down memory lane. I was standing in front of the presidential candidates. ese aspirants took the platform to enunciate their advocacies and distinct characters that make them suitable to lead a nation facing a multitude of troubles. e prominent political colors made waves with the cheers of their undying fanatics. Others had fewer supporters, but still enough to give a rumbling applause. I, a sherman, was brought to the center of this country’s metropolitan area, departing momentarily from the shores of my rural roots. I received the gracious honor of being invited to the 2016 Presidential Town Hall Debate -- well, the credit is due to my rst-hand accounts on the terrors in the sea. e aging night did not stop these candidates from trying to impress me with their promises. As keen as I could be, of course, I was captivated by those who concocted the rmest answers.

“Kapag sinabi [ng UN arbitral tribunal] na panalo tayo at ayaw ng China, I will not go to war. Pupunta ako sa China. Ngayon ‘pag ayaw nila, I will ask the Navy to bring me to the nearest boundary, diyan sa Spratly, sa Scarborough,” a presidential hopeful said. “Bababa ako at sasakay ako ng jetski, dala dala ko ang ag ng Filipino at pupunta ako dun sa airport [ng China] tapos itanim ko. I will say, ‘ is is ours and do what you want with me’,” he added.

Year 2021. We had more pressing matters to attend to. But I am a icted with deep forlorn, as my situation hasn’t changed at all. Amongst the looming mayhem set ablaze by suppressive thieves through the might of their maritime arsenal, the saga of the long-sought claims for sovereignty remains hopeless albeit the avowed bravado of this nation’s leader. It le the su erers with fright embarking even on our own waters, as the consequences raised doubts towards the president’s distorted sense of ‘utang na loob’ towards its duplicitous friend, China.

A er ve years, I nd myself listening once again to an interview on DZMM Teleradyo. ough, the omnipresence of the media outlet has since been overthrown.

“Iyong bravado ko was a pure campaign joke, at kung naniniwala kayo sa kabila, pati na siguro si [retired Supreme Court justce Antonio] Carpio, I would say you’re stupid,” Duterte blabbered in a taped speech.

Sin is a free ticket that everyone can own, li ing the entrance open for the awaiting demise.

This diary unfurls a fisherman’s woeful story of hopelessness and betrayal from the one whom he entrusted with his precious vote. (Retrieved from: Coastal Community of Infanta, Pangasinan) casualties having outnumbered that of World War I and World War II combined.