Index 2 Shared Language 3 Either/Or vs. Both/And Thinking 4 Key to Opening your CCI Toolbox 6 LIST 7 Diversity Wheel 8 Lead Style 9 Diversity Iceberg 10 Business Case 11 Ladder of Inference 12 “Ouch”‐ then Educate 13 Giving & Receiving Feedback 14 Golden & Platinum Rules 15 Aligning Intent & Impact 16 Assuming Good Intent 17 Take a 3 Second Pause 18 Managing the “Little Voice” Page | 1
Shared Language Culture: The shared values, traditions, norms, customs, arts, history, and institutions of a group of people. Diversity: All of the ways that we are both similar and different. Inclusion: Intentionally creating opportunities for participation, contribution and recognition. Diversity Challenge: Understanding that the differences matter, especially the ones that may not matter to you, but may matter to someone else. Cultural Capability: A set of integrated behaviors and attitudes that enables staff to work effectively in cross cultural situations. Cultural Comfort/Congruence: The end result of cultural capability. It involves respectful, inclusive encounters that do no harm, treating others as they would like to be treated, and using skills to deepen shared understanding, inclusion, self‐ respect and trust. Cultural Ally: An individual who consciously and intentionally seeks to deepen their cultural capability in order to help create ongoing Cultural Congruence. Page | 2
Either/Or Ö Both/And Thinking From our earliest teachings, we have all learned “either/or” thinking. Our formal education system taught us that there is one right answer to each question‐ right vs. wrong. Question = 1 right answer Question + right answer = a truth. The numbers either add up or they don’t. Where we get derailed is in failing to recognize that this “either/or” way of discovering “truth” has its uses and its limitations. It does not work well, for example, as a way to think about diversity and inclusion. Diversity and inclusion, by definition, must be explored through a shift to “both/and” thinking. Both/and thinking allows us to see cross‐cultural encounters and interactions, and gives us a framework for increasing cultural congruence.
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EXAMPLE
Key to Opening Your CCI Toolbox: Self Betrayal vs. Honoring Self & Others
When I betray myself, I begin to see the world in a way that justifies my self‐betrayal.
When I enter the Box, I become self‐deceived
When I see a self‐
justifying world, my view of reality becomes distorted.
1. Inflate others’ faults
2. Inflate own virtue
3. Inflate the value of things that justify my self‐betrayal
So when I betray myself, I enter the Box.
4. Blame others
The Arbinger Institute: Leadership and Self‐Deception: Getting out of the Box
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DO Try to be better Use the principles in your own life Look for your own Box Try to stay out of the Box Keep trying Use your Key to unlock the CCI toolbox
DON’T Try to be perfect Use vocabulary‐ “the Box”‐ with people who don’t already know it Don’t look for others’ Boxes Don’t accuse others of being in the Box Don’t give up on yourself when you’ve discovered you’ve been in the Box
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Use Your L.I.S.T. If you want to ensure that your interactions with others will be culturally congruent and compatible, you should develop the habit of checking your LIST before you act. In your actions:
Learning is promoted Inclusion is modeled Self‐ Respect is supported Trust is increased If so, you can move forward with confidence. If not, take a second to strengthen alignment with your LIST. Ask “what needs to be strengthened?” You can only use the LIST effectively if you are honoring yourself and others (see Key to Opening Your CCI Toolbox: Self Betrayal vs. Honoring Self & Others) Try to use the LIST if you recognize that you are betraying yourself in your actions.
Using your LIST might seem cumbersome at first, but if you couple it with taking a 3‐second pause, it quickly becomes a habit. Page | 6
Diversity Wheel
KEY LEARNING • Everyone has their own unique diversity wheel • The dimensions of diversity that are important to us form our cultural filters which add meaning to data • Everyone’s diversity wheel is “operating” all the time, so understanding your own diversity wheel increases your understanding of others’
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Lead Style My Gold Strengths and Perspectives I SEE MYSELF AS: Dependable, punctual and responsible I AM NATURALLY: Respectful and concerned I VALUE: Traditions and stability MY ATTITUDE IS: strong sense of right and wrong MY PRIORITIES ARE: Organization and accountability IN THE WORKPLACE I AM: prepared, committed and detailed IN MY PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS I AM: practical and serious AS A CHILD I WAS: “The Model Student” OTHERS MAY SEE ME AS: predictable, inflexible and controlling I DEAL WITH CHANGE BY: Developing a plan to implement change MY STRESS FACTOR IS: Dealing with disorganization WHEN I AM FRUSTRATED: I can become anxious and worry TO ENCOURAGE MY SELF‐CONFIDENCE: Acknowledge my loyalty
My BLUE Strengths and Perspectives I SEE MYSELF AS: Helpful, creative and communicative I AM NATURALLY: Affectionate, flexible and nurturing I VALUE: Trustworthiness and empathy MY ATTITUDE IS: Enthusiastic and compassionate MY PRIORITIES ARE: Harmony and hugs IN THE WORKPLACE I AM: Motivational, inspiring and interactive IN MY PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS I AM: Thoughtful and romantic AS A CHILD I WAS: Cooperative and imaginative OTHERS MAY SEE ME AS: Overly emotional, talkative and naive I DEAL WITH CHANGE BY: Asking myself how the change would feel MY STRESS FACTOR IS: Lack of cooperation WHEN I AM FRUSTRATED: I can become depressed and passive resistant TO ENCOURAGE MY SELF‐CONFIDENCE: Acknowledge my compassion
My GREEN Strengths and Perspectives I SEE MYSELF AS: Logical, intelligent and composed I AM NATURALLY: A nonconformist and visionary I VALUE: knowledge and efficiency MY ATTITUDE IS: be self‐sufficient and fair MY PRIORITIES ARE: Independence and privacy IN THE WORKPLACE I AM: knowledgeable about the latest technology IN MY PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS I AM: Sensitive, but uneasy with emotions AS A CHILD I WAS: curious and mentally focused OTHERS MAY SEE ME AS: Factual, insensitive and intimidating WHEN DEALING WITH CHANGE: I take time to process my thoughts MY STRESS FACTOR IS: Dealing with incompetence WHEN I AM FRUSTRATED: I withdraw and can become indecisive TO ENCOURAGE MY SELF‐CONFIDENCE: Acknowledge my competency D‐ My ORANGE Strengths and Perspectives I SEE MYSELF AS: Dynamic, generous and spontaneous I AM NATURALLY: A negotiator and troubleshooter I VALUE: Adventure and resourcefulness MY ATTITUDE IS: Enthusiastic and courageous MY PRIORITIES ARE: Freedom and Fun IN THE WORKPLACE I AM: Entrepreneurial and competitive IN MY PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS I AM: Energetic AS A CHILD I WAS: Entertaining and impulsive OTHERS MAY SEE ME AS: Disorganized, resistant and irresponsible I DEAL WITH CHANGE BY: Embracing and enjoying new responsibilities MY STRESS FACTOR IS: someone else’s rules or directions WHEN I AM FRUSTRATED: I “drop out” physically or mentally TO ENCOURAGE MY SELF‐CONFIDENCE: Acknowledge my generosity
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Diversity Iceberg
KEY LEARNING POINTS • We see the most obvious data first (gender, skin color, age) Body Size Age Skin Color Attire Gender
Hair
Eye Color
“Race”
Sexual Orientation
Disabilities
Heritage Ethnicity Political Views Economics
Religion
Education
Geographical Roots Languages
Family Life Interests
Values
• We don’t like cognitive dissonance (chaos), so our brains automatically “organize the data” into familiar patterns in order to make our world orderly, predictable, and controllable • We tend to fill in the blanks, that is, to dive below the water line, and attach meaning to what we see based on stereotypes/beliefs • We can be unaware that we are on “Automatic Pilot” and that we may misperceive the other person
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Business Case
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Ladder of Inference
Key Learning Points • Beliefs/stereotypes drive data that gets selected • once we select the same data, we add the same meaning, assumptions and conclusions • If unexamined (no 3‐sec pause), this will reinforce our erroneous belief/stereotype
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“Ouch”‐then Educate We have all encountered stereotypes in the workplace. We may have been on the receiving end of a stereotype, we may have been the person stereotyping, we may have been the third party present when a stereotype was used. Often, when these moments occur we are unsure of how to best respond. Even if we feel compelled to say something, we often do not, for fear of making matters worse. “Ouch” ‐ then Educate is a tool for groups to develop more culturally capable ways of supporting each other in responding to such moments. By saying “ouch” anyone can exercise their agreed upon right and responsibility to notice what they are noticing, out loud, in a good way, i.e. by the LIST. “Ouch” moments can promote deeper understanding of the stereotyping process, and bring new learning to future diversity challenges.
OUCH!
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Giving & Receiving Feedback Good communication is essential to any organization. Communication is the art of conveying your intent in culturally capable ways, such that the impact (how it is understood and received) is in alignment with your intent. Model how to receive feedback to demonstrate the golden rule and encourage others to receive feedback from you. Tools to ensure high‐quality feedback are the LIST, aligning intent and impact, and the platinum rule.
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Golden Rule – Platinum Rule The golden rule, “treat others as you would want to be treated”, is found in every culture. Confucius said “don’t treat people the way you do not want to be treated”. The golden rule works best when the other person’s diversity wheel is very similar to yours meaning there are more similarities than differences that matter to either of you. However, in situations where the other person’s diversity wheel might have some similarities and a number of differences that matter to them the platinum rule can be more useful. The platinum rule is simply to “treat people the way they would like to be treated”. When we employ the platinum rule, we can avoid pitfalls like trying to be a mind reader or getting defensive when someone is uncomfortable with our way of treating him or her. Page | 14
Aligning Intent & Impact Aligning Intent and Impact means thinking about what you want to communicate and then aligning your choice of words to ensure that your message is understood in the way you intended it. When we fail to align our intent and our impact, we tend to then blame the other person for “not understanding” or “taking it the wrong way” or being “too sensitive.” Aligning intent and impact requires us to be able to recognize diversity challenges. Ask yourself what differences may be present that might not matter to you, but may matter to someone else. Then adjust your message to ensure cultural congruence. One last thing: You must be clear on what your intent is. Check it against your LIST. Are you honoring yourself and others?
Impact
Intent
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Assuming Good Intent Beginning any interaction by assuming good intent means using the Golden and Platinum rules in action together. “I want others to assume good intent on my part, (the golden rule) and I am confident that others, given a choice, would appreciate the same respect (the platinum rule).” When we begin by assuming good intent, we are better positioned to deal with any immediate stereotypes or unexamined assumptions that might initially arise. Assuming good intent allows us to be open to all information and not just focus in on those things that “support” an assumption of other‐than‐good‐intent.
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Take a 3‐ Second Pause Training ourselves to take a 3‐second pause before responding ensures that you will make a thoughtful response. Not an “automatic pilot” response based on a stereotype that comes to mind. Taking a 3‐second pause helps us recognize and manage our stereotypes. We may still think them but we do not have to give voice to them. That will allow you to see past them to the real person. Taking a 3‐second pause can also help you align your intent with your decided impact. ONE… TWO… THREE.
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Managing the “Little Voice” We each have a little voice in our heads. Our little voices spend a lifetime collecting all of the stereotypes we are exposed to. Then, when we encounter someone who fits one of the stereotypes, we automatically see them in the stereotyped way. You can’t get to the real person until you deal with the stereotype. We are socially conditioned to respond to our stereotypes automatically, without thinking. To manage your stereotypes, practice taking a 3‐second pause before speaking. This will allow you to shift away from any preconceived notion (stereotype) you may currently be experiencing. Then you can focus on the other person in a more open way, enabling you to make a culturally congruent response.
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