Parenting & Guardianship

with Roberta Smart

As a parent, you will no doubt have your own approach to raising your kids. Whether it is meticulously planned, or you fly by the seat of your pants, you will do your best and that is great.

This can become problematic, however, if we blend families and bring new partners into the mix. After a divorce or separation, it is highly likely that you will meet a new partner with their own children and go on to create a blended family, so understanding each other and the ways you choose to parent are vital.

From Permissive to Authoritarian, we can all recognise a sense of difference in how we raise our children, what we prioritise and what we are willing to overlook.

Of course, clear communication is key and discussing a traffic light system of expectations is really useful. Take a big piece of paper and red, orange and green pens, then share ideas on what is totally acceptable to both of you (green), what is negotiable (orange) and what is a complete ‘nono’ (red).

Being aware that one of you likes to co-sleep with your kids and the other prefers absolute privacy is a great way to learn how to navigate bedtime, for example.

If one of you tends to be a ‘my way or the highway’ personality whilst the other is permissive and easy come, easy go, you could anticipate a lot of pushback from the children and confusion as to what the rules of the new household are.

Remember, there is no right or wrong, good or bad here – simply an awareness of where tension and struggle may occur and an invitation to explore things ahead of time.

I see this often when one parent returns to their childhood home after separation – ostensibly for help and support from grandparents until they can re-establish themselves independently. If these grandparents raised their child in an authoritarian way, they may struggle massively if that said child has grown up to be a permissive parent, allowing their kids to stay up late, choose their meals, say no, answer back, etc.

Differences in the way generations choose to parent can put a lot of pressure on an otherwise loving family environment, so please remember, amidst the flux and change of your family, to talk about what matters to you and to always seek to find compromise.

This is never a game of winners and losers but only of constant ebbing and flowing, growing and changing, and who knows, you may end up giving your authoritative father a second chance to be the cuddly grandpa he always yearned to be!

Protecting your pooch might sound like a slogan, but there is no doubt of the urgency after the trade in stolen dogs prompted a new crime wave and made headlines around the world.

Gloucestershire Constabulary was the first police force globally to turn to forensic science in an attempt to deter dog theft. Now others are following its lead.

In the last twelve months, Wiltshire, Avon and Somerset and the Police Service of Northern Ireland have signed-up to the scheme known as ‘Doggy DNA’. Surrey and Dyfed Powys are scheduled to join them soon with forces in Hampshire and elsewhere also in discussion.

‘DNA Protected’, to give it its proper name, uses a DNA marker system that has been developed for forensic analysis to help investigate criminal cases involving the theft of dogs. Storing a dog’s DNA profile on Cellmark’s forensic dog DNA database will make it easily accessible to Police forces and could help ensure the dog’s safe return if lost or stolen.

David Hartshorne, Managing Director for Cellmark Forensic Services said: “Cellmark has been at the forefront of forensic DNA profiling for over 30 years. It’s great that our forensic DNA tools, which have been used for many years to investigate crime, will now be used to help combat dog theft.”

Chief Inspector Emma MacDonald said: “As a force we are committed to doing all that we can to prevent dog thefts from happening. All it takes is a simple swab inside the dog’s mouth to get its unique genetic information registered on the DNA database.

“All of our police dogs have been profiled and given new Velcro patches for their harnesses which shows our confidence in the scheme.”

Police and Crime Commissioner Chris Nelson said: “Gloucestershire has been at the forefront of moves to recognise the status of all animals. I congratulate the Constabulary on leading the way in the introduction of DNA technology and I’m delighted other forces are following its example”.

Picture courtesy of Thousand Word Media Picture courtesy of Thousand Word Media

Police and Crime Commissioner for Gloucestershire

Find out more about how to get your dog protected in the Police and Crime Commissioner’s Annual Report – scan the QR code (left) or visit: www.gloucestershire-pcc.gov.uk/annualreport