Parenting & Guardianship

with Roberta Smart

As a parent, you will no doubt have your own approach to raising your kids. Whether it is meticulously planned, or you fly by the seat of your pants, you will do your best and that is great.

This can become problematic, however, if we blend families and bring new partners into the mix. After a divorce or separation, it is highly likely that you will meet a new partner with their own children and go on to create a blended family, so understanding each other and the ways you choose to parent are vital.

From Permissive to Authoritarian, we can all recognise a sense of difference in how we raise our children, what we prioritise and what we are willing to overlook.

Of course, clear communication is key and discussing a traffic light system of expectations is really useful. Take a big piece of paper and red, orange and green pens, then share ideas on what is totally acceptable to both of you (green), what is negotiable (orange) and what is a complete ‘nono’ (red).

Being aware that one of you likes to co-sleep with your kids and the other prefers absolute privacy is a great way to learn how to navigate bedtime, for example.

If one of you tends to be a ‘my way or the highway’ personality whilst the other is permissive and easy come, easy go, you could anticipate a lot of pushback from the children and confusion as to what the rules of the new household are.

Remember, there is no right or wrong, good or bad here – simply an awareness of where tension and struggle may occur and an invitation to explore things ahead of time.

I see this often when one parent returns to their childhood home after separation – ostensibly for help and support from grandparents until they can re-establish themselves independently. If these grandparents raised their child in an authoritarian way, they may struggle massively if that said child has grown up to be a permissive parent, allowing their kids to stay up late, choose their meals, say no, answer back, etc.

Differences in the way generations choose to parent can put a lot of pressure on an otherwise loving family environment, so please remember, amidst the flux and change of your family, to talk about what matters to you and to always seek to find compromise.

This is never a game of winners and losers but only of constant ebbing and flowing, growing and changing, and who knows, you may end up giving your authoritative father a second chance to be the cuddly grandpa he always yearned to be!

Dave and Darcy are off on safari to see the animals of Africa. On their trip they make lots of new friends, from giraffes to lions, as well as a baby elephant that is in trouble! Will they be able to help? Pre-order open now! * Dave and Darcy Have a Birthday Party

Dave and Darcy are going to the beach for their summer holidays and a week filled with fun. Follow them on their adventures as they make friends and memories by the sea - but watch out for that naughty seagull!

Dave and Darcy dress up smart to go to the local village pony show. They face many challenges throughout the day including big jumps and tricky dressage routines! How will they do in the competitions? Will they win any rosettes?

It’s Dave’s birthday and the whole gang have come to celebrate with him and Darcy! There will be lots of fun games and lots of yummy cake. Make sure you don’t miss the party!

Santa’s reindeer are all poorly so there is nobody to fly the sleigh and deliver presents. Join Dave and Darcy as they whizz around the world and help to save Christmas!

PLUS! The brand new Dave and Darcy Colouring and Activity Book will be coming out this su mmer as well! You can pre-order this alongside the Safari story via my website. • More than30 pages of colouring in • Fun and educational activities • Ideally suited for children ages 2-7

*Any orders that include the Safari storybook orthe Colouring and Activity book will be posted out later in the su mmer. Once I have an official publication date, I will email all customers to let you know when you can expect to receive your orders. All other orders will continue to be posted as stated on my website. If you have any questions, please email lois@loiskingscottauthor.com

Fun, engaging stories for ages3-7 10% of profit donated to Cotswold RDA Activities and resources on my website Wholesale andschool discounts available Please email lois@loiskingscottauthor.com