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6th February 2008, Issue 54 www.qmu.org.uk

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in this issue… 4&5

interviews with rector candidates aamer anwar, charles kennedy and patrick harvie

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text-a-quest: the petition wars begin

12 18 13 14 10

why feeding fat kids and monkeys could send all the wrong messages all vegetarians love bambi, and other lies qmunicate’s football fanatic takes on the six nations tournament better off alone: bad band breakups bladerunner: ridley scott finally cleans up the classic for a definitive dvd release

regulars nelson’s column p7 outside the box p 11 showcase p8 album and single reviews p15 clubs and societies p9 i saw you back page

big angry blob: back page

Credits Publications Convenor: Scott Forsyth Editor: Kat Borrowdale News Editor: Iain Smith Entertainments Editor: Simon Gwynn Music Editors: Chloe Adam James Butler Features Editor: Emma Fraser Cover Design: Leo Clark Showcase Editor: Laura Murdoch Photography: Stuart Crawford, Raymie Kiernan Flickr: Altopower, Michael Coleman, Old Shoe Woman, Joe_13, Mr Ush, Borealnz, Obscurity_86 Contributors: Henry Wilson Gordon Brady Alison Wilson Laura Jones Nelson Ruth Gilbert Anna Andrews Chris Hall Sam Rankin Tom Quinn Graeme Baillie Shelley Winters Tricia Hagenbuch Gary Harlow Laura Kay Robertson Stuart Crawford Duncan Woodall Dionne Doherty Alasdair Watson Sadie-Lou MacAdie

qmunicate.magazine @googlemail.com The people who put this magazine together are students like you who are interested in writing, design, photography or journalism. Some of us are experts, some of us are just getting started, and we always welcome new people. If you want to join the qmunicate team, come along to Publications Committee every Wednesday at 5.30pm (third floor of the QM). qmunicate is © Queen Margaret Union. All work is © its authors 2008. Views expressed do not necessarily represent those of the Queen Margaret Union. Printed by McVicars.


qmunicate 6th February 2008

Laying Down the Law Aamer Anwar on Rectorship, student activism and free education Kat Borrowdale

organisations against each other. That’s not how it should be. They are an important part of student life. Students should take back Muir Russell’s pay rise, and redistribute it.’

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cotland’s most prominent human rights lawyer and activist Aamer Anwar is somewhat sleep-deprived, having been up all night for the birth of his son. ‘I told my wife I’m going down to the University today’ he explains. ‘This is a full commitment for me.’ Later, he will launch his campaign with an open meeting for Glasgow students, with the same articulate yet blunt openness. Like his opponents, Anwar is also a Glasgow graduate, and describes himself as having been ‘a student agitator and organiser’. Today, he states ‘I see my life as that of a campaigner, and student issues are part and parcel of that.’ As his connections with Glasgow University Stop the War would suggest, Anwar is

Students have been the bulk of the anti-war movement, the civil liberties movement, anti -globalisation, environmental campaigning; I think they’re probably more politicised because their eyes have been opened to what’s going on.’ Anwar also stresses the importance of the Unions and student life;

The government say ‘things have moved on, you can’t have free education’. Well, why not? already astutely aware of student activism. ‘It’s quite patronising when authorities say that students are apathetic. The fact that they can’t make it to a demonstration doesn’t mean they don’t care, they might have to be holding down two jobs. The G8 marches pulled out thousands of students. The fact that they might not be marching up and down University Avenue every day doesn’t mean that they’re not out there campaigning.

‘I came to University a complete bigot… probably thought Thatcher was great. But I just changed so rapidly through the people I met, the discussions I had, the societies I was part of. This in mind, he believes students and lecturers are both getting a raw deal. ‘Unions have to scrabble for money, getting involved with mobile phone companies and bar promotions who want to buy their way onto campus. And the University pits student

His attitude to the funding of education is equally back-to-basics. ‘It’s almost as if the government are saying things have moved on, you can’t have free education. Well, why not? There are smaller countries than Britain that are able to provide free education. Why should people have to pay when they’re going to go out and work? They’re going to pay taxes, and contribute to society.’ Anwar plans to take on the role of Rector to its fullest capacity: ‘It’s been automatically assumed that the Rector will pass on all responsibilities to a lay member of Senate, so that if anything controversial comes in the Rector’s not involved’ he notes, having investigated the responsibilities of the role. ‘The Rector shouldn’t just be some kind of figurehead. I intend to be an advocate for the students, so it becomes politicised, like with problems of debt or discrimination. Why shouldn’t students raise these issues? And it’s not just about the Rector. The Rector is nothing if students don’t mobilise alongside them.’ The interview concludes with a final promise from Anwar about his potential Rectorship: ‘The Rector’s there to fight for the rights of students. I’m not going to be some novice in a fancy robe.’

View From the Top Gordon Brady on the forthcoming QM Elections

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t is that time of year again, when the QM decides its future. On the 28th of this month, the QM holds its Annual General Election. This election will bring us a new Executive, including the position of President, as well as new Convenors: Events, Publications, Social and Support and Services, who will all take up office on the 1st of July. Also up for election are most of the Ordinary Board roles which are taken up instantly.

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The Board of Management is the group of elected individuals who drive the QM forward and make sure that the members are

well looked after and that is the focus of the Queen Margaret Union. Being on the board is a great opportunity to give back to the QM, and to help make it a more enjoyable, more successful organisation. You will learn about running and planning events such as Freshers’ Week and 12 hour, financial management and planning, and other ins and outs of running a charitable business. Other perks of the Board of Management are meeting a new group of friends with similar interests as well as getting free entry to Club nights and other events and the opportunity to get guest list places for gigs at the QM.

If you are interested in running for any position or would like to find out more about what is involved in any of these positions, why not come to the third floor to talk to someone currently on the Board of Management, or come to one of our committees to get a taster of what you can get up to at the QM.

Mon 18th Feb - Nominations Open Fri 22nd Feb - Nominations Close Thurs 28th Feb - Election Day


qmunicate 6th February 2008

Liberal Measures

Former Lib Dem leader Charles Kennedy launches campaign Chloe Adam

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lasgow University Union is an apt location for interviewing Rector candidate Charles Kennedy, who spent many of his own days as a student in the union, ‘cutting his teeth’ in student debating, later leading him into politics. In fact, he says that his desire to run for Rector is partially encouraged by his need to give something back. He said: ‘I don’t want to over-sentimentalise it, but I owe much of my career to Gilmorehill. When I was a student here, I always thought that one day I would like to serve as Rector. I have an abiding affection for the place and knowledge of how it works.’ Personal feelings aside, Mr Kennedy acknowledges that the role of the Rector is a serious job, stating; ‘Of course there are formal duties and there is a civic element to the role. But in my own mind, I would treat the role as if I were an MP for campus. I would

assist students with problems and make sure that the opinions put forth by the unions are aired with officialdom. I want to make sure they are heard at University Court level.’ Kennedy acknowledges that recent changes have signalled a return to having a working rector. He said: ‘In light of recent financial issues, a more hands-on approach is more appropriate.’ In relation to universities being treated like businesses, Mr Kennedy said: ‘It’s happening to all universities all over the country, although not all commercial deals are necessarily a bad thing. Universities have no choice but to continue forging links with the business community.’ The subject of debt is a pressing issue for students, and he values the role of Rector as an opportunity to address these concerns. ‘When speaking to students on campus, it became clear that debt is their biggest concern. It can be a disincentive for potential

students. It would be my role as Rector to help the students to be able to make more decisions on the matter.’ He also does not believe that Scottish universities are losing out to English universities in funding. He said: ‘I don’t think that is a widespread view. Fees are only a fraction of funding, so we have to ask ourselves whether it is really worth it.’ When summing up why he feels he is eligible for the job, he said: ‘You will hear three words from me, I will be a working, independent and campaigning Rector. I’m not doing this as a political candidate; I have no political baggage. I would just get on with the job. Glasgow has a disputatious legacy that has helped shape Scotland.’ Finally, he adds with a smile ‘sometimes a little rebellion is needed in politics.’

Greener on Harvie’s Side?

Rector Candidate Patrick Harvie gives us his take on Glasgow student issues Alison Wilson

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atrick Harvie has been a Green MSP for Glasgow since 2003. Within the Scottish Parliament, he is Convenor of the Transport, Infrastructure and Climate Change Committee, and actively supports People and Planet’s forthcoming Go Green campaign. He believes that all the rectorial candidates will bring their political views to the position, because ‘it would be wrong to use the position to proselytise for any party, but wrong not to recognise students taking an interest’. Aberdeen University is currently trying to remove the right of the Rector to chair university court, but Harvie believes it is important to students to have a strong, working Rector. ‘I think if Glasgow elects a serving Rector who’s available to do the job, and do it well, that reinforces the value the role has and prevents any attempt to diminish it or take it away.’ He claims his status

as an MSP makes him a strong candidate for this position – ‘there’s a real benefit to students having someone who’s not just of Glasgow, not just available to be on campus, but also at Holyrood as well. Holyrood is where decisions are made every year about the future of higher education, about higher

‘There’s a real benefit to students having a Rector who’s at Holyrood’ education policies, and also about the direction universities are to take, and that’s of huge importance to the experience that students are having.’ He argues that as an active Glasgow citizen and Holyrood official he is unique amongst the candidates. Harvie seems to be dedicated to his campaign, but also committed to, and involved in, many different causes – so how will he apply himself if elected? ‘I would make a commitment to

be on campus something like half a day each week’ Harvie states. ‘I’d be available by email and phone – my Glasgow office is available 4 days a week… Universities are preparing people to take on positions of importance and responsibility throughout the whole of society, and this next generation has some unprecedented challenges to meet in terms of preparing our society for a new sustainable way of living.’ He supports the abolition of the Graduate Endowment: ‘There are some things in life which just work better if you pay for them collectively, through taxation, and I believe education is one of them.’ If elected Rector, ‘there are issues on campus I wish to promote – such as People and Planet’s Go Green campaign – and practical issues such as housing.’ Harvie urges people to vote for him because ‘I would be a working Rector, a Glasgow Rector, a Rector who’ll use access to University structures and access to the Scottish government.’

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Art School Leaves NUS Thursday’s referendum leads to shock ousting by Art School Students

Iain Smith

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lasgow School of Art students last week sensationally voted to disaffiliate from the NUS. GSASA President Colin McKean commented ‘I’m very pleased, disaffiliation will benefit the GSA students more than remaining part of it would.’ The referendum means the Art School will not be an NUS member at the start of the next academic year but with a winning margin of only 13 votes the decision could be considered controversial. The referendum

membership you never used.’ Speaking to a group of Art School students, the low turnout was explained somewhat bluntly. Lauren Coleman, a second year Product Design student commented that ‘no one talks about anything like this at the Art School; it’s not really about politics.’ Furthermore, none of the four students asked had voted, and admitted they weren’t fully aware of the importance of the outcome. ‘It was all just a lot of hype at the very last minute, there was some guy who just came crashing into one of my lectures and told us all to vote, threw some lollipops at us and

It will be better in the long run; it was like having an expensive gym membership you never used was held under the Art School SRC’s standard election rules, meaning a ten percent studentvoter turnout was needed to confirm the result. With a turnout of only 215, roughly 11% of the student body, McKean admits ‘because the vote was so close, there may be students who are unhappy with the result’ but added that ‘it will be better in the long run, the organization systems at Glasgow School of Art were never compatible with those of the NUS, it was like having an expensive gym

then ran out again’ commented Coleman. Colin McKean, however, was quick to explain the GSASA’s position. ‘It’s the first referendum we’ve held, and due to staffing shortages, it pretty much just came down to me.’ The money saved each year from the affiliation fee, which is part funded by Glasgow School of Art and partly by profits from the GSASA building, The Vic, will be used to provide financial and academic support

Art School poster featuring Art School President Colin McKean (face only)

to the student body. McKean described the elimination of the affiliation fee; ‘it’s essentially the removal of a big bill, meaning we can afford to allocate more money to student projects.’ Although sceptical about how long the process of disaffiliation would take, GSA student Scott Newton said ‘it will probably be better for future students, I can’t really see it directly affecting me.’ McKean concedes that holding the referendum would’ve been a ‘valuable exercise even if the vote had gone the other way, it was about hearing what the students thought.’

A True Passion for Life?

Opinion: Laura Jones on Ann Widdecombe’s controversial anti-abortion talks

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nn Widdecombe’s visit to the GU last week for a talk as part of her ‘Passion for life’ campaign sparked widespread debate. The government is currently discussing the issues of abortion laws and stem-cell research. Widdecombe presented her talk from an anti-abortion and anti-stem-cell research standpoint, aided by speeches from priests, doctors and feminist activists. In attendance was the SRC’s Women’s officer Laura Jones, who details her reaction to the meeting:

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In her dulcet tones, Widdecombe asserted that the ethical discrepancies between terminating a pregnancy at 10 weeks and killing a child were non-existent. Since my arrival in this country, my experience with NHS doctors and nurses has been of

competent staff, dedicated to providing efficient services. They have difficult, stressful jobs but their primary concern is always for the wellbeing of their patients. To accuse them of murder is despicable. A doctor came forward, contradicting every doctors’ and nurses’ union in the country who unanimously oppose the proposed changes to abortion laws. He spoke about ‘animal-human hybrids’ and murmurs of consternation rippled through the largely elderly audience as they envisioned man-bear-pig type monstrosities strolling along the streets of Britain. As a priest blustered through his speech, hecklers chanted ‘no uterus, no say!’ The next speaker described herself as a ‘pro-life feminist’ and, to raucous applause announced that

she did, in fact, have a uterus. A heckler replied ‘but you don’t have mine!’ A pro-life woman approached me after the meeting. ‘My children are the most precious thing in my life. What’s wrong with that?’ I was dumbfounded; she seemed under the impression that I wanted to kill her children. ‘People like you are de-feminising society’ she boldy accused. 83% of British women would disagree with the proposed policy of enforced pregnancies that she was advocating but, according to her, pregnancy is beautiful and must be preserved, whether you’re a married woman or a teenage rape victim. However, as long as the pro-choice majority defends the rights of women to govern their own bodies, democracy will prevail.


qmunicate 6th February 2008

Hot QMopoly - because it’s not only massive, but it’s got places we know on it . Ask at Jim’s bar for more information. The emergence of a new demi-god in the Dramatic Lemur, forget the Dramatic Chipmunk, he’s so 2007. The Lemur’s where it’s at. Layers - fuck fashion, just wear loads of clothes, it’s freezing. Anonymous vs Scientology - the internet is taking a passive-protest stand aganist Tom Cruise’s pseudo-religion. It’s about time someone did. Being informed about the Rector Elections; ok, it might not be the ultra coolest thing in the world, but if you still have no clue what the whole thing is about, maybe its time to enquire... Depressed Cat who hates nature: lolcats should never be funny; they’re not big or clever. Unfortunately this one is. BBC not showing Euro 2008 on TV. Internet-only matches proves they know us well. If we’re not in it, we don’t care.

Old men attempting to pick up young students in M&S. Not in a lifting sort of way, but in the bad chat up lines way. Meh. Phillip Seymour Hoffman doing it doggy-style. Don’t watch Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead. Don’t. Snow that settles and then melts before you get a chance to go out in it. The Glaswiegan weather continues to disappoint. Heath Ledger jokes - so passé now Jeremy Beadle’s croaked The Beatles being beamed into space - is there anything Macca won’t sell to anyone? Valentine’s day, a soulless commercial excuse of an event... if you believe Emma Fraser, who’s so appalled she’s not even written a column this week. Britney being mental - yes, it may be karma wreaking a beautiful revenge but you have to have some morsel of sympathy for her... No? The lies of Domino’s Pizza - it’s not faster to order online. Don’t believe the propoganda, it’s just not.

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A unique take on world news from qmunicate’s columnist Nelson

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or those still reeling from the shock of Super Tuesday and the US elections, there’s no way to sympathise as at the time of going to press it hasn’t happened yet. Instead, I spent my time being appalled by a new exhibition on display in Liverpool. All the exhibits on show have been created from skin cultures and the works include a jacket made of synthetic skin and one of the artist’s own arm. Not gratuitously, though, as he has implanted a synthetic ear which he plans to mic up and broadcast the resulting noise over the internet. I have no real problem with this. On one hand the story had me thinking about the natural conclusions to this sort of expression and to what extent the artist could be seen as having created something when a team of Liverpool University scientists actually made the works. And on the other hand it had me thinking ‘My god, his arm! His actual arm!’ So it was with much trepidation that I carried on through the weeks news and it’s probably unsurprising that in my preoccupied state I came across an article about musical breast implants. Apparently, there would be a data storage device in one breast and an audio processing hardware in the other. Headphones would plug into a wrist-worn device that would also control the whole package by Bluetooth. What grabbed me was that ‘the chips may also be able to warn wearers about heart murmurs, blood pressure increases, diabetes and breast cancer.’ I really felt the whole thing put me in my place after my reaction to the arm art story, and normalised it for me. There really are a lot of people out there who are into the idea of augmenting their own bodies in the most technologically astounding ways and it is no surprise that our imaginations lead us to such absurd and perversely functional inventions as these. Having thought about it at length I think my first augmentation would be prehensile facial hair for ultimate expression.

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qmunicate 6th February 2008

Showcase.

Photograph by Anna Andrews, Philosophy student

Want to see your work in Showcase? We’re looking for your photography, poetry, art work, short stories or plays to feature on this page every issue. Send your submissions to

qmunicate.magazine@googlemail.com

B WATCH BULLETIN • HUB WATCH BULLETIN • HUB WATCH BULLET

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e regret to inform readers of our regular updates that work on Hub Watch has been temporarily suspended due to issues surrounding space on the page and unforeseen episodes of writer’s block. The staff at qmunicate would like to assure readers that we still expect to have the last edition out by our original ETA of September 2008. Here at qmunicate, we

realise that offering great services to our readers is at the forefront of our strategy of carrying the magazine forwards into the twenty-first century, and we can guarantee that when Hub Watch finishes, it’s going to be pretty special. Meanwhile, why not take advantage of the other great articles in different sections of

the magazine? They might not be quite as cutting edge as Hub Watch, but they still offer a wide variety of journalistic products at an incredibly reasonable price, and the very best news, reviews and features this side of Fleet Street. We would also like to apologise for reminding the world that Ann Widecombe exists. Sorry, we didn’t think that one through.


qmunicate 6th February 2008

Can Geeks Dance?

Sam Rankin explains the experiment which is the iO Ceilidh

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ho says geeks can’t dance?

The science fiction and fantasy society had its second ceilidh at the end of January. The first ceilidh was a trial run, but well received. We repeated the experiment this year. Take the Food Factory on a Saturday night, add a fantastic live band and a few decorations, then invite every geek in the University. The resulting mix is something relaxed but enjoyable, swathed in tartan. In the end well over fifty people came along, which packed out the venue, though at one point there was a refreshing step outside for air as the QM fire alarms went off. People

One of the last spacehoppers died with a noisy bang after the races in Freshers Week from Io (science fiction and fantasy society), GUGs (gaming society), Pause (network gaming geeks), and even ex-student society the Cuckoos Nest (LARPers - best not to ask) all came along and joined in. The band, Shehooligans, mixed Metallica lyrics with traditional ceilidh music. The raffle,

in which the main prize was a Darth Vader style rubber duck called ‘duck fadar’, raised a whopping £45. Those unfortunate individuals who had not experienced a ceildih before were inducted. Indeed, reports indicated that many of those who attended the ceilidh had an irresistable urge to spin everyone they saw for a few days afterwards. Io (science fiction and fantasy society) is now in its 27th year, and by the looks of things is still going strong. The madness, and indeed success, of the ceilidh will be shown again at the society’s Easter party, which this

year is ‘Wizard of Oz’ themed. Money raised from the ceilidh has already gone towards purchasing four new spacehoppers for the society, as one of the last spacehoppers died with a noisy bang after the races in Freshers Week. Hopes are high that this time next year will see the return of the ceilidh, and further evidence that geeks can dance. In fact they do it rather well. For more information on Io and what we’re all about see www.iosoc.org.uk, or join us in committee room 2 of the QMU at 7pm on Wednesdays.

QM Clubs and Societies: Your Guide to What’s On MONDAYS GU LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Students’ Association) drop-in session. Committee Room 1, 12pm - 2pm. International Society Com Room 2, 6pm. STAR (Student Action for Refugees) do what they can for refugees and asylum seekers all over the world. TV Room, 6pm. English Lit Society put on talks for anyone interested in literary subjects, from 8pm in Committee Room 1 every week. TUESDAYS Amnesty International 5pm, Committee Room 1

GU Liberal Democrats - 6.30pm, TV Room. People and Planet are against poverty, and for human rights and environmental issues. Committee Room 2 from 7.30pm GU Scottish Nationalist Association - 6pm, Food Factory WEDNESDAY GU Christian Union hold massive meetings in our main hall, Qudos, 4pm onwards. CU Ceilidh - Thursday 13th February, Qudos iO (Glasgow University Sci-Fi and Fantasy Society) meet on the third floor from 7pm. LGBT meet up, for those who want to help plan Pride Week and other events. Committe Room 1, 7pm.

THURSDAY Cecilian Society: meetings and rehearsals for their stage productions, 3rd floor. NEW SOCIETY: GU Red Cross hold an event in Committee Room 1 from 2pm on Thursday 21st Feb AT THE WEEKENDS GUMSA are holding a training day on Saturday 16th February in Qudos. Pause Gaming weekend Friday 22nd to Sun 24th Feb

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Film Henry Wilson

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007 marked the 25th anniversary of Ridley Scott’s seminal sci-fi film and the release of a 5 disc collector’s edition DVD. “Big whoop”, you might say; special edition DVDs are so common nowadays that the word “special” feels largely meaningless. Blade Runner: The Final Cut, however, is different. Fans of the movie will probably be well aware that previous DVD releases have been of poor quality: the initial release was one of the first discs on the market and suffered from appalling video quality and an utter lack of extra features. The 1992 Director’s Cut should have rectified the situation but was rushed

out without the full involvement of Scott. It’s amazing that a film that frequently appears in critics’ top 100 lists has yet to see a decent home release, but The Final Cut is what fans have been dreaming of for decades. My first impression on watching the film (in glorious High Definition) is that it looks absolutely stunning. Gone are the grainy visuals and dated special effects, replaced with a full digital re-master taken from the original negatives and polished to perfection. Scott has painstakingly re-edited the entire picture, removing continuity

errors and tweaking scenes, to the extent that one scene was actually re-filmed. Gone is the studio-imposed happy ending, and the much-debated “unicorn sequence” appears in a never before released cut, hinting that Deckard is in fact a “replicant”. Believe the hype: this is what Blade Runner should always have been, the definitive cut, and worth every penny of the asking price, especially considering that the DVD contains countless hours of special features and a total of five different versions of the film. A must have for Sci-Fi fans everywhere.

Sweeney Todd Iain Smith

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weeney Todd is an 18-certificate musical horror directed by Tim Burton, starring Johnny Depp. From these simple facts it’s easy to anticipate some of the film’s more obvious features; namely, songs, lots of blood, a distinctly pseudo-gothic look and a tendency to be a bit camp in places. Get all that? You should’ve. Because whilst there’s no denying that Sweeney Todd is an excellent film that I wholeheartedly recommend, you have to wonder whether it could’ve been something more; if it isn’t just a little... unadventurous? For any other director, adapting a musical about a serial killer barber in Victorian London could have provided a real challenge, but for Burton,

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this is bread and butter, and it is this thought that niggles in the back of your mind when leaving the cinema. You can’t help but think he’s taken a safe option by not only plumping for yet another costume-horror, but also with the casting. After Depp’s forgettable turn as Willy Wonka in his last live-action collaboration with Burton, part of me feared we’d be seeing another pretty-but-lifeless adaptation from the duo. Luckily, Depp shines in this considerably more sinister role, but surely he was always going to? The character is essentially a more evil version of every other role he’s taken for Burton, blended into a chunky eye-liner wearing smoothie. Futhermore, with the

casting of his missus and another frequent collaborator Helena Bonham-Carter as Mrs. Lovett, you know exactly what you’re going to get (especially if you’ve seen the most recent Harry Potter adaptation). As I’ve said though, Sweeney Todd is well worth your £5. The plot, following Benjamin Barker’s quest for vengeance against a high-powered judge, who banished him in order to steal his wife, and subsequent transformation into the mass-murdering Sweeney Todd could well have been ruined if not for Burton’s brilliant job in balancing the tone of the film. Small doses of warmth and comedy are injected in just the right places, so as to not ever let us forget that behind the murder, cannibalism and general horror of the film is a plot with characters and motives. Furthermore some of the imagery is stunning; costumes, make-up and the level of violence are all dealt with superbly. The final shot of Todd is beautiful. All of the other elements are also well done; the score, although almost directly taken from the stage version, is superb and the supporting cast do well, including an outstanding performance by Alan Rickman. I find it hard to believe that anyone won’t enjoy Sweeney Todd. I just hope that Burton’s next big project, the forthcoming Alice In Wonderland, is a little more ambitious.


qmunicate 6th February 2008

Things We Lost In The Fire Chloe Adam

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hings We Lost In The Fire’s greatest achievement is that it somehow makes harrowing themes of grief, heroin addiction and tragedy both genuinely moving and consistently compelling viewing. It also has a distinct air of realism that usually bypasses the kind of Hollywood films which tend to resort to distracting sentimentality and tired clichés. When Audrey (Halle Berry) loses her husband (David Duchovny) in tragic circumstances, she invites his closest friend

Ball. Benicio Del Toro plays addict Jerry with an understated coolness that usually only actors like De Niro can get away with. And the child actors are so good that you may well have to question your own natural ability at anything. The film is constantly delivering an emotional punch, largely by the way it is filmed. Its arthouse use of flashbacks, closeup shots of teacups and suchlike keep the film teetering on respectability, and gives it underlying feelings of tension and sadness. Yet what is remarkable is that

Iain Smith

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t’s been a fairly uneventful three weeks for the square-eyed box-watcher. Gordon Ramsey toddled off to America to make fools out of the fatties over there, in the not-quite-as-good version of Kitchen Nightmares. Shit Big Brother was won by the best edited housemate (also the only one more than 60% human). And Torchwood came back. Torchwood rode in on the tail of one of the best geeky yet undeniably broadly appealing light-entertainment programs currently on TV, and then shat all over anyone foolish enough to get caught in the hype. It’s dreadful and I place the blame squarely on the shoulders of one man: John Barrowman. It’s his character that ruins the entire thing - why centre a show around an egotistical, arrogant selfproclaimed saviour of South Wales? Captain Jack has no single ounce of humanity that creates empathy, sympathy or any other –thy based emotion and is above all else, heinously dislikeable.

– who is also a heroin addict – to come and live with her and her children. What may seem like an unlikely and far-fetched premise actually makes for incredibly engaging viewing, as we watch the way that two people who have always been at odds are drawn together by a shared loss and become united by grief. Undoubtedly, what holds this film together is the consistently strong performances. Halle Berry relishes roles that are emotionally challenging, and gives a performance that is every bit as good as her academy award winning turn in Monster’s

the sadness underpinning the story never becomes manipulative or mawkish. In fact it feels so real, and the characters are so believable that it had this reviewer’s eyes welling up on more than one occasion. For the more hard-hearted amongst viewers the film might seem to be trying a little too hard to pull the heart strings, but for the rest of us, it is a reasonably accomplished drama that has fully fleshed out characters and tackles gritty subject matter well. It’s not the happiest film you will see all year, but it is worth a look for its hard-hitting subject matter and knock-out performances.

Skins is back, bringing back its trash TV disguised as gritty drama that relates ‘to the kids’ (teenagers who wish their lives were written by Channel 4 so they’d be at least 105% more interesting) and after sneaking a peek at the first episode I’m slightly worried about how they’re going to make it as edgy as the first series without straying too far into controversial territory. It’s not worth making a judgement yet, but it’s going to be an interesting series. Worst of the Worst? Two Pints of Lager and A Packet of Crisps, a show that I was unaware was still being made. I imagine it has stayed in production out of pity for the cast, as none of them deserve any kind of employment after appearing in this abomination of what we are encouraged to refer to as ‘comedy’.

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Online

Scott Forsyth had nothing better to do than playing the flash games in popup internet ads. But skulking behind the promise of free iPods, he found a sinister agenda at play…

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e’ve all been to the depths of boredom whilst trawling through myspace looking for anything to do that isn’t university work. You’ve left comments on all your friends’ pages, you’ve added 10 new bands, refused 60 more and now you’re squeezing any entertainment value you possibly can from the advert flash games that litter your homepage. Many people are quick to blame violent computer games for the cause of problems in society today, but few consider the impact these seemingly harmless advert flash games have had. I’m talking about

iPods to give away to any Tom, Dick or Harry who feels like tickling him? And why can’t he stick his fingers down his own throat like everyone else? The next game will be familiar to anyone with a myspace account, as it often appears above your profile page. You play a soldier, kitted out with loads of futuristic stuff like laser guns, and the goal is to shoot an equally futuristically kitted out soldier. In fact the only difference between the two of you is the colour of your armour. At first I was all

Just who is this fat kid anyway? Where did he get so many iPods to give to away to any Tom, Dick or Harry who feels like tickling him? encouraging eating disorders, promoting racism and spreading the biggest evil of all… communism.

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One of my favourites involves clicking on an animated representation of a fat kid with a Mohican. If you click on him enough he will eventually throw up, and you will win an iPod, or something. It’s intuitively titled “Tickle the Fat Kid till he Barfs”, and has obviously proved popular, as it has been the only game of its type that has managed to spawn a sequel! Yes, the setting is now a posh restaurant, and the fat kid is on a hot date. The player must stuff him full of spaghetti until… well, until he barfs again. Here we have the first culprit for actually promoting bulimia among children and teenagers. The game doesn’t just suggest that by being bulimic you will get to go on dates with girls far out of your league. It also implies that by engaging in such behaviour you will be rewarded with material goods such as iPods. Just who is this fat kid anyway? Where did he get so many

for shooting this blue pretender: how dare he encroach upon my territory, or get in my way while I encroach on his… how dare he march from side to side and not shoot at me, presenting himself as an ample target time and time again? I could almost taste that iPod I just knew he was carrying. The feeling of prising it from his cold dead hands was in the forefront of my mind when a doubt hits me like free money falling in high gravity. How is this man any different from me? Under the helmet it could be my very own brother. I should not judge him on the colour of his armour alone. Instead of committing this heinous crime we should be working t o g e t h e r,

walking red hand in blue hand, iPods for all, regardless of age, creed or colour. What is seemingly the most innocent game of all sees the player pushing a button to make a monkey feed himself a banana. The goal is to fill your banana fuelled energy bar quicker than the opponent monkey. I loved this game so much that I had racked up almost enough iPods to give to my entire extended family for Christmas, when I realised the sinister undertone. The monkey I was feeding had a red star emblazoned on his shirt top. I couldn’t even look my former primate ally in the eye anymore without seeing the grinning dead faces of Lenin, Stalin, Pol Pot and Chairman Mao staring right back at me. “Join us!” they chant, “fuel the communist war machine and make better iPod for you!” These games are not safe for anyone to play. Just as GTA IV and Manhunt 2 will teach the youth of today to be cold, detatched and efficient killers, these advert flash games are teaching their own sinister and more subtle lessons. This is why I call out for them to be banned, not just to end my nightmares of monkey-related Pol Pot madness, but to end society’s nightmares too.


qmunicate 6th February 2008

Too Much Tackle, Wrong Size Balls Football fanatic Duncan Woodall gives rugby a try

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k, so it’s that time of year again. No girls, I’m not going to be chatting about Valentines Day (you would think this article being in the Sport section would make that apparent), I am of course alluding to that annual sporting Tournament, the Six Nations. So get out the shirt of your nation and wear it with pride. Find out who shall be winning this years Calcutta cup, who shall win the Triple Crown? Will there be a grand slam? Now before you go running to your local bookmakers to put your hard earned money on Brazil to win, with Ronaldinho as top scorer, or put your mortgage on England not qualifying, STOP! This isn’t football, the game you love; this is rugby football, the game you pretend to love when your

You are shaken but continue on. You sit there sweating trying to figure out who are the forwards and who are the backs, trying to figure out what a prop does and who has one. You let stand-off pass by as it sounds like a fight. Yes! Wingers, I know what wingers are, you scream inside, whilst making a joke about how you’d give Johnny Wilkinson’s girlfriend a ‘try’. All is well. You watch in disbelief as these ‘men’ actually obey the ref without question. Ha ha, the referee has made a mistake and blown for half time five minutes early; surely he couldn’t have meant 40 minutes, could he? It is quite a high scoring game, considering how often they kick it over the bar. You search for more beer whilst the pundits speak of territory, overlaps and the kicking

Ha ha, the referee has made a mistake and blown for half time 5 minutes early; surely he couldn’t have meant 40 minutes, could he? country is doing well. Yes, I’m looking at you England 2003! Ok, so it’s not your thing, but surely it’s better than hearing how your girlfriend’s/ boyfriend/blow up friend’s day has been, no? So there you are, it’s the weekend, and you’re in your favourite chair. The ‘boys’ are round. You have the remote control for your 50 inch plasma TV (standard issue rugby equipment paid for by ‘daddy’, they don’t just let any old chav watch rugby) in your left hand and can of Tennents in the right. The stadium is packed, not a spar e seat to be had. The atmosphere is electric, you feel the rivalry but not the malice you’re accustomed to. The national anthems are being sung, so far so good. Then the formations come up, your face drops. You notice there are 15 players playing in a line. What on earth? Oh wait, of course its rugby.

game. The second half begins and there’s even more grunting, groping and man-hugs. This tedium continues until the 10th can finished no longer numbs the pain. Your friends leave one by one with ‘prior engagements’. Damn, why didn’t you think of that? Your girlfriend comes home and finds you watching rugby on your fifteenth can. She is in tears, she gives an ultimatum; it’s her or the booze. You don’t even hear her close the door on the way out. Your name is Jack Bauer and this has been the longest day of your life.

Sport


qmunicate 6th February 2008

An Ever-Changing Story Some things can’t change: James Butler investigates the problems caused when bands split up.

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here is an old saying that leopards cannot change their spots; a warning that such things cannot change. The same holds true for bands, and the ever-changing line-up is quickly becoming a curse to the music scene. Those wanting to see a group can never be completely sure precisely whom they will be paying to perform. As this article is being written, I am waiting with dread anticipation for the Von Bondies tour to reach Glasgow, in promotion of their third album. That feeling when you have been waiting years to see them, but know they are going to be terrible, yet cannot resist the urge. Well... I say it’s the Von Bondies, but the band’s line-up has changed somewhat. Only 2 out of 5 of the members were part of the original group, and my senses scream at me that this is the reason the sample tracks from the album sound so... different. More mainstream, seemingly generic indie album #2573-Alpha-Z as opposed to the gritty Detroit style which set them apart from a lot of their competitors. It boils down to the fact that they were good, past tense. Arguments and break-ups occur, it is a fact of life. We are all troublesome and demanding, and such flaws can cause rifts. But the problem is when these altered rosters play under the banner of the original act. Like flying false colours in war, it is a

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pretence. Was Nirvana really the same band after Kurt Cobain’s demise? No. And their ticket sales and album popularity certainly showed it. It was Nirvana Mark II. Hell, with the ever-increasing tide of musicians travelling between bands, we are being conned into buying records which might best be called something like ‘Album by Modest Mouse 3.01 with four tracks by Modest Mouse 3.03, skipping throw-away drummer X as he was crap in the three months he was with us’. But then, honesty isn’t always the best policy if you want sales.

every other rock band out there may seem fuzzy. Because it is. There are no similarities between the Spree and the Von Bondies. Rock groups depend on each and every member contributing to their sound, and their ultimate success or failure. Change even one part of that combination, and trouble will surely follow.

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The problem is when these altered rosters play under the name of the original act - which they are clearly not.

n alternative approach to the everchanging line-up problem is found in groups such as The Mars Volta, with emphasis on the duo rather than the accompanying players. As background, they may make or break individual albums or shows, but so long as the core of the group, Cedric Bixler-Zavala and Omar RodriguezLopez, remains, so too does the band’s spirit. They are a prime example of the steps other bands should take in an ideal world. Formed as a side-project by a few members of At The Drive-In, they changed the name and have achieved success on their own merit.

‘Cheating’ may be a strong word, but that is the trick such bands are pulling on their fans, surely the very people they shouldn’t be trying to con. Some bands thrive, or are even founded on a plethora of musicians and a cyclic shift in their roster. Take the Polyphonic Spree, for example. The connection between that ‘choral symphonic rock experience’, as they bill themselves, and

Changed line-ups equal a completely different band, in style, tone and attitude. When the original, successful act dies, so too should the name. Later incarnations should rise or fall on their own integrity and act, not hang on to the tails of any successful previous forms. The name should not live on. The Von Bondies are dead, long live the VB 2.0.


qmunicate 6th February 2008

Albums The Mars Volta Bedlam in Goliath The omens for this album did not bode well for the Mars Volta. Seemingly cursed by a ouija board from Jerusalem and a number of problems during creation, you’d be forgiven for treating such an album with a modicum of caution. As with any Mars Volta album, Bedlam in Goliath is an experience unto itself. Each song includes excerpts from the afore-mentioned ouija board, about a mother-daughter relationship, and includes a smattering of Afro-Caribbean religious elements as a goodluck charm against the cryptic forces behind the tales. The music twists and turns at every opportunity, hammering the features which make the band so unique. The same experimental guitar techniques and vocals shouldn’t work, but do. Add screaming sax courtesy of Red Hot Chilli

Music

Pepper John Frusciante. Post psychedelic progressive is one avid description I’ve heard, and is the closest we’ll get to nailing a definition, so why not. Insane and intricate. Distorted yet defined. Chaotic yet complete. All said and done, the album does not beat Deloused in the Comatorium, but then no release will ever top it. But it does compare well, giving a good run for its money. Bedlam in Goliath is a truly worthy addition to one’s collection. Why are you still reading this? Just buy it. [JB] Vampire Weekend Vampire Weekend Vampire Weekend are leeches. Genre-hopping, wannabe trendsetting blood-suckers. And other hyphenated terms. Experimental might be one way to describe their first outing, but this isn’t strictly true as there’s not much new here. Most of the influences

are brashly stolen from various sources and thrown together, in wildly differing attempts to create a new fusion of genres. They add in harpsichords, strings, staccato percussion, choral backing vocals and a horrible noise that sounds like an Early Learning Centre keyboard without a care in the world. Their press release says their brilliance lies in their staccato style; but this is actually just a failure to blend all the random elements. The ‘African influence’ they claim to be going for crops up on tracks like Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa, which sounds a bit like Graceland if you cut out everyone but Paul Simon (ie. a bit rubbish). Their strengths lie in a subtle use of strings and some melodic vocal lines. A lot of the time there needs to be more holding the songs together, like A-Punk and Oxford Comma, which are painfully sparse. However, there’s no denying that their tunes are catchy. [KB]

Evoken A Caress of the Void This is some of the most genuinely depressing, bleak music I’ve heard in a long time...but in a good way. Evoken have an ultra slow, harsh and deep sound which is as emotionally draining as it is mesmerising. Seven very long tracks of an audio catharsis made up of crushingly heavy guitar and desolate soundscapes lie in this album. Evoken have been playing this kind of music for more than15 years now, and are widely considered to be at the top end of the quality spectrum of underground doom metal. This album is a strong case for it. It could be said that this music is certainly not for everyone, but it is always there for those who choose to seek it out. It is highly recommended for those who spit at the thought of the days getting longer. (GB)

Tegan and Sara The Con Tegan and Sara are twin sisters, which means when they sing together it has the nifty effect of sounding like one voice echoing. The Con doesn’t have the same memorable beat as previous single Back In Your Head, but is catchy enough once it launches into the chorus. There are guitars, synthesisers, angst, and they sound vaguely like Something Corporate. It’s indie rock, but more entertainingly musical than most bands which describe themselves using that catch-all term. [AW]

The Feeling I Thought It Was Over The Feeling are continuing their rhythmic, pulsing trend of dancefloor pop into a second album this month. An annoyingly upbeat catchy disco beat lies beneath this single, which will no doubt prove extremely popular and become wellplayed throughout the realm. The lyrics, for those who can concentrate over the beat, are about a love story around the fall of the Berlin Wall. Not necessarily my thing, but Cheesy Pop fans will no doubt find this track fun.[SW]

Singles The Teenager Love No Love No presents an interesting fusion of catchy pop hooks and part-spoken vocal delivery. While the choruses are classic sing-along radio-friendly pop rock, the verses and breakdowns feature softly spoken vocals from the band’s Parisian lead singer, touching on youth cliché in the song’s account of a broken relationship. The song has an affability which is difficult to resist, and while they aren’t blowing the lid off pop-music, The Teenagers are certainly putting their own unique spin on it. [HW]

Stardeath and the White Dwarves Toast & Marmalade for Tea

The brightly colored and violent graphic artwork which graces the cover of this single (drawn by Wayne Coyne of The Flaming Lips) gives no indication of the musical content. Mellow and slow paced, Toast and Marmalade for Tea has a psychedelic, dreamy feel to it, but it goes on for 3 1⁄2 minutes and it just doesn’t really change much. The second track, Chemical is very different, much more jarring in tone and movement, providing a nice contrast. [TH]

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qmunicate 6th February 2008

Live Air Traffic QMU Jan 25th Tom Quinn

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he Runners opened the night with their rather predictable bouncy “indie-pop” to a half full Qudos. Despite the band’s best efforts the crowd were subdued, and mostly static. The entry of Air Traffic filled the hall, and they opened with what could be described as a mix of Muse with Tom Yorke on vocals, but without the energy or interest. This left the crowd more confused than enthralled, until they crashed into a rendition of their new single Come On. The feeling didn’t last long, and the band seemed to be more interested in getting through their set-list than interacting with the crowd. The piano-heavy trio from Bournemouth can be easily compared with bands such as Keane and Coldplay, although I think Chris Wall’s vocals could outshine Chris Martin and Tom Chaplin. I say could, because although he has a pure and penetrating upper register he too often slips back into a tedious and dull Klaxonesque drone. The second half of their set picked up brilliantly, with the guitarist and bassist replacing their instruments with a drum each and proceeding to beat out a catchy rhythm, with Wall’s piano and better voice singing the love song No More Running Away. This was a nice change to what was becoming a monotonous gig, getting both the crowd and band in a better mood. Drummer David Jordan took a quick break to bandage his hand after some overenthusiastic playing, but remained on fine form for the rest of the night.

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The XFM New Music nominees saved their best songs from their debut album Fractured Life for the end of the gig, finishing on Charlotte and the magical Shooting Star. This left the crowd with a good impression of what was an altogether average night.

The QMU’s fortnightly showcase of the best up-and-coming-bands - on every second Monday in Qudos.

Preview

Review

11th Feb

14th Jan

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ix Star Hotel will be topping the bill with their manic riffs and power choruses. Hailing from Lisburn, Northern Ireland, the four-piece are like Jimmy Eat World meets At The Drive In and are not to be missed. Panama Kings are similar in sound to Modest Mouse, Pixies and the Walkmen. Another band hailing from Northern Ireland this week, they’re sure to impress with their dance-rock rhythms and frenetic keyboards. Jocasta Sleeps are the second band on and their sound is Biffy Clyro-esque Alt-Rock. Local boys This July are back at the QMU with a new line-up and their signature angular, indie-tinged rock.

he newly branded Raw Folk, a slightly different take on the Raw format, was an understated success. The night saw a transformed Qudos, full of fairy lights, with cafe-style tables filling the moshpit. A succesion of talented musicians took the stage. The clear and earnest voice of Hollie Adams English contrasted interestingly with Jamie Hylands’ more unusual tones for a great set of covers and new songs, while Woodenbox and A Fist Full of Fivers couldn’t resist rocking up the stage despite the quiet and attentive audience. Final act Callel were less folk than might have been expected, but drew from a wide range of influences including the Smashing Pumpkins to create an absorbing set.


qmunicate 6th February 2008

Sun, Sea and Cillit Bang

Features

Laura Kay Robertson presents a lemony-fresh alternative for summer

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don’t clean. My flatmates will testify to that. Perhaps a little surprisingly then, I spent the summer of 2006 as a Campsite Courier. Cleaning caravans. And living in a tent. Sounds like hell? I had the best summer of my life. After an on-line application and a half hour interview, my friend and I were offered a job with Canvas Holidays but please note, if orange is not your colour, then this may

market. Rather worryingly, for any of you who’ve been on a Eurocamp holiday, their motto on site - unofficial, I believe - was ‘If it looks clean, it is clean’. Although as far as I’m aware, no Campsite Courier has ever actually killed a customer through poor hygiene. Our days were spent cleaning, welcoming guests (harder than it sounds when your arrivals that day are all Danish, but the

of tent for 3 months is always going to be a challenge. You’ll be pleased to know that even after practically living on top of each other, my friend and I are still speaking. Just. Despite the long days and the almost insulting wages (about €640 a month) the social side of things absolutely made up for it. Nothing bonds people together like a terrible, badly paid job with complaining customers, and I definitely made some friends for life. The nights were our own and

The nights were our own and often involved a lot of 22c Dutch lager and a strange red vodka and red bull concoction called a Flugel. Cleaning caravans is bad enough, but cleaning caravans with a hangover is hell on earth not be the company for you. You can work abroad with Canvas for the full season of nine months or just two months in the summer, which is considered high-season. We were given our postings, near Paris, two weeks in advance and jetted off to France. Bring on the sun! We were met at the airport by our delightfully handsome Area Manager (see my friend for full details) who promptly told us we were being moved to Hollandwhich took a while to sink in. Bring on the…. tulips? Holland turned out to be fantastic. It’s amazing how a couple of pints of Heineken and a few Jägermiesters can help you settle right in to a new place. We ended up living on a theme park and campsite called Duinrell where we shared our living area with clowns, a magician’s white rabbit and the campsite mascot, Rick de kicker, which is Dutch for frog. Usefully, it’s one of about 3 Dutch words I now know. Now, I’m not going to lie to you - being a Campsite Courier is not glamorous work. You are essentially a cleaner with a bit of customer-placating thrown in. Some of us learned to love it. After a few weeks you would find yourself having lengthy discussions about your cleaning product of choice. In case you’re interested, mine was the coveted Eurocamp ‘spray and wipe’. I had to barter for mine on the campsite black

international language of hand gestures often proved helpful) and completing afternoon duties. For Eurocamp this meant cutting grass, cleaning windows or pretending to look busy. For Canvas it meant having a nap. In the evenings, we visited our customers to see how they were settling in. Our experiences ranged from being loudly complained at in various European languages, to being invited to join them for BBQs and plied with beer. And then there’s the accommodation. Now, to be fair, when I say we lived in a tent, I don’t mean a girl-guide tent. This was the king of tents. We each had our own inner compartment with a double bed and don’t worry, there was somewhere to plug my hairdryer. But that said, living in ANY type

often involved a lot of 22c Dutch lager and a strange red vodka and red bull concoction called a Flugel. Cleaning caravans is bad enough, but cleaning caravans with a hangover is hell on earth. Last summer I felt that perhaps living in a tent and cleaning caravans wasn’t a very grown up thing to do, so I took a job in an office. After a day, I realised I’d made a terrible mistake. Being a Campsite Courier might not be for everyone, but I’ve never been happier than when I was scooting around my campsite on a bike in my shorts and flip-flops. So this summer I’m going back, and if you find yourself stuck for something to do, I can’t recommend it highly enough! Now, where’s my Cillit Bang…? www.vrgcampingrecruitment.com

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qmunicate 6th February 2008

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e all know someone who is one: an aunt, cousin, sister, or maybe a friend. No, I’m not talking about emos. I’m talking about vegetarians; those that choose not to accept the wonders of a bacon sandwich or a chicken curry. Why don’t they eat meat?

of protest. These people lead observers to think that perhaps vegetarians don’t eat meat because they love the cute animals so much, or that they just don’t like meat. Below are two popular and more legitimate reasons for becoming a vegetarian.

Vegetarianism is by no means a modern phenomenon. A significant number of people in ancient India and 6th Century Greece refused to eat meat based on the philosophy of non-violence towards animals. Vegetarianism almost entirely disappeared from Europe following the Christianisation of the Roman Empire until the Renaissance.The number of veggies today is increasing, and there are a lot more

Environmental/Economic: The argument is that livestock need crops, land and water and crops also need land and water. So you are using two lots of land and water when you could just feed people the crops. Animal farming also uses fossil fuels and animals fart a load of nasty methane. As the population expands, there won’t be enough land or water to do this. For me, the main disadvantage is that countries with major

for vegetarianism. As a means of protest, people stop eating animal products. This has, to some extent, worked. Free range eggs and organic meats are now widely available, however refusing to eat these products seems like a far less effective way of protesting than actually buying more ethically produced products. Of course, vegetarianism is not the only option for those who are more discerning about what goes on their dinner plate. Here are a few alternatives: Flexitarianism: My personal favourite. Mostly vegetarian but does allow the occasional exception. I can sympathise – bacon sandwiches are darn good.

Meat Me in the Middle?

A story of fluffy animals, moral protest and revenge by Gary Harlow than the reported 100,000 in WWII Britain who were issued with special ration books. About 68% of vegetarians are females, and one observation in the British Medical Journal says veggies tend to have higher I.Q.s. There is also strong evidence to support the claim that a well-balanced vegetarian diet has health benefits over a diet allowing meat consumption. Many vegetarians don’t eat meat for religious, cultural, political or moral reasons. However, some people have less meaningful reasons that may in fact reduce the effectiveness of vegetarianism as a form

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meat exports and little land suitable for crop growth will suffer economically by not being able to afford crops. It also seems silly to also stop eating sheep, since these animals can live on quite arid land and produce wool that would have to be replaced by some form of crop. Also, this argument is not relevant when it comes to excluding fish. Industrial Farming: Methods used in modern industrial farming can be quite horrific: battery farming, force feeding, hormone drugs and prolonged slaughter. The countless TV documentaries showing these are quite good recruitment tools

Revengatarian (© current author, 2008): Where vegetarianism is used as a weapon. Here’s how - you wait for your target to spend ages preparing a dish, then declare you’re a vegetarian and can’t eat it. This is a favourite among teenage girls. Fruitarians: It seems that squirrels have some competition because these crackpots only eat fruit, nuts, seeds and plant matter, that can by gathered without harming the plant. How do they know whether or not they are harming the plant I hear you ask? Why, they listen out for the screams of course.


qmunicate 6th February 2008

text - a - quest

Crossword Across 1. Sailor’s shout Land __ (4) 6. A criminal (6) 8. Land of the Inca (4) 9. Car Manufacturer (2) 10. Los Angeles (abbrv.) (2) 11. Peculiar (3) 13. Finished (5) 14. Operating System (abbrv.) (2) 15. If you ain’t dry, you’re (3) 16. Extremely Angry (5) 18. Not the Ladies (5)

Down 2. An animal with a sense of humour (5) 3. Not the oldest (8) 4. Metric Unit (abbv.) (2) 5. A small leafless branch (4) 7. Cowboy State in American (2) 9. Humble; not inclined to boast (6) 10. Aware; a clear mind (5) 11. To take too many drugs (2) 12. Morning ___ (3) 14. Clumsy/stupid (3) 17. Example (abbrv.) (2)

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i saw you - text ‘qmu’ and your message to 07766 404142 I saw dan • I bet i saw you not publishing that text... • ‘pol from uist i saw u ‘playin dead’ on a pool table’ • ‘We saw you MANdeline, nice tie...’ I saw u jemma, with that face of yours! • i saw iain having a big red face while u choked on pickles privates • I saw you making meekats act out shakespeare... Animal cruelty, for shame! • mon the phys/mac/astro soc ceilidh crew! great nite, thanks to all there! • I saw u Britannia on our funky date! From Lewis xxx • i saw you stuart t eyeing up MY Grey Shirt,this shit just got real! I love your face,the Golden Beast xx • I saw you sean hosting the quiz trying to seduce the innocent girls participating • hey chris, u host the quiz and u made my leg tremble when u speak • i love you sarah! • want to hug yooou. X • i saw you face off being way better than the quiz! • Death to the french! Pip pip old boy! •

WHAT’S ON IN THE QM

13/02/08 - 19/02/08

06/02/08 - 12/02/08

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

5.30pm - Pubs Committee, for qmunicate folks

5.30pm - Social Committee 7pm - Jim Jefferies Plan the Quiz or The cheesiest night Face Off! in all of Glasgow. visits the QM with his own bitter brand Request a few of of comedy. (£3) 9pm: Unplugged your favourite tunes from DJ Toast.

The Big Wednesday Pub Quiz, 8pm All new hosts, a whole load of new prizes, and the legendary DJ Shamrock. Win beer and prizes.

21.00: Unplugged in Jim’s. Got a song, a poem, a joke or a story? Here’s the perfect place to tell it.

Valentine’s Day Pajama Party - get in cheaper in pajamas and get your gift delivered ! (£2/3)

Saturday

DJS IN JIM’S: OPEN LATE

Sunday

Monday

Six Nations: Catch the Rugby live on the big screen today Six Star Hotel, and throughout the Panama Kings, tournament. Jocasata Sleeps and This July– free to QM members!

To be honest, Chill out, relax, we’re not sure and enjoy a few cold ones with what we’re going to friends as some play today. Why not of the best DJs turn up to Social in Glasgow cure on Thursday and your Cheesy Pop help us pick? hangover.

This evening, it’s the turn of Crash My Model Car, Y’all is Fantasy Island, and The Dials to hit the stage at RAW. As ever, it’s free to QM members.

Tuesday

Rock, metal, hiphop and – shudder – emo.


qmunicate Issue 54