WTF is DTF? How to Do Casual

Come on! You are young, full of life and living in a city of tens of thousands of excited twentysomethings at varying levels of romantic and sexual inexperience. Everyone is hooking up and you are convinced that you cannot. So, instead, you are stuck thinking about the guy who held the humanities elevator open for you two months ago.

Casual relationships are not hard to come by in the year 2023. Among student communities they present the unique opportunity to not only get your fix, but to do so while staying relatively sober. They also allow you to stay on the streets but occasionally stop to lie on the According to Brides.com, casual dating is a physical and emotional relationship between people who go on dates without necessarily demanding or expecting the extra commitments of a more serious romantic relationship. So, is your need to DTR (define your relationship) every other week starting to AYL (affect your life)? Do not worry, whether you have already mastered casual dating or are still mulling over your first Netflix and Chill, these five tips will help you along the journey:

Decide if this is really what you want to do

It can be easy to feel pressured into pursuing casual relationships due to the lack of romantic or sexual prospects. Moreover, seeing how easy relationships are for the people around you can also add to that. If you decide to partake in casual dating against your authentic will, not only will it not be enjoyable but there is the risk that you will utterly regret it. Casual dating can be a very positive experience as it can allow you to discover what you like. It provides variety and it also offers a reprieve from the pressures of monogamy. However, it also has the negative effects of being impersonal and not allowing an appropriate environment for developing a deeper emotional connection.

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Communicate with your partners

There is no guidebook for casual relationships. Therefore, communication with partners will differ for each person. This can look like: telling them not to booty call you after 11pm, having direct conversations about contraception, being honest if you do not want to be casual anymore, etc. This also includes setting boundaries and respecting any partner’s boundaries.

Forget the rom-com fantasies

Going into this kind of relationship expecting that you can convince someone to fall in love with you when they have explicitly stated that they are interested in something casual will (probably) only leave you hurt and disappointed. Life does not exactly work like a romantic comedy where that arrangement would be portrayed as a meet-cute you can one day laugh about when relaying it to your kids. Keep your expectations low and just have fun with it.

Keep it moving

One of the good things about casual dating is the amount of variety you are afforded with. The lack of emotional attachment also helps to allow for so many different outcomes. If one avenue does not work out, you have the opportunity to go down another path.

Keep an open mind

Enjoy the variety. Check-in with yourself. Enjoy the seemingly endless prospects and possibilities. Revel in the side eyes of your friends who just do not get it. Laugh at your questionable decisions. Stay safe and have fun.

Put yourself first

Make youself your first priority. While it may be fun to date around, you should also be taking time for yourself. You should take yourself out, do things you enjoy and partake in all of the things you never had the chance to do while you were in a serious relationship.

Prioritise your other relationships

It can be easy to neglect your friends when you start dating someone. But since you are dipping your toes into the casual pool, you should make a point of spending time with your friends. If you have other friends who are also doing casual, it can be great to go through the experience together. But even if they are not, they can still offer advice, support, or even just a fun Friday night out. Sometimes the best realtionships are just purely platonic.

Be honest with yourself

Casual dating is not for everyone. There is no shame in relaising that it is not something you enjoy. Be honest with yourself about your feelings. If you develop feelings for your situationship, either walk away or tell them and be prepared for disappointment. No matter how succesful this time may be for you, it is all a learning experience.