November 2015

Peekaboo Free Magazine

Annual

Adoption Issue A Niche of Our Own An Adoption Story

Dilly Dally’s Holiday Gift Guide

Northwest Arkansas’ Family Magazine

Nov. 2015

The

PEEKABOOFamily Kimberly Enderle Editor-in-Chief editor@peekaboonwa.com | 479-957-0532

Jonathon Enderle Creative Director jon@peekaboonwa.com | 479-586-3890

Frances Wilson Kim and Jonathon with Holden, Grant and AVa Enderle.

Photo by Main Street Studios

Associate Editor

Columnist

Distribution/ Circulation Joyce Whitaker Judy Evans Marcedalia Salinas

Jeremy Whitaker Michelle Dodson

Ben Lacy Dad’s View

Columnist

Peekaboo Publications

PO Box 1036 Bentonville, Arkansas 72712 Please send inquiries to: editor@peekaboonwa.com or call 479-586-3890 Peekaboo may not be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. Views expressed herein are those of the authors and advertisers, and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the magazine.

Peekaboo Northwest Arkansas accepts writing contributions

Veronica Zucca Story Design

Jennifer Cristofaro Events

Peekaboo nwa W h at ’ s I n s i d e | N ov e m b e r | 2 0 1 5

16

A Long List of Miracles by: Becca Cross

22

Abby’s Story by: Abby McCain

26

Dad’s View with Ben Lacy

30

Adoption in Arkansas by: Justin Heimer

36

Perseverance & Passion by: Leslie Mackey

38

Rituals of Life with Eva Lebens

42

Keeping it Real by: Lizzie B.

44

8th annual Adoption Issue

Meet Dr. Nick, DDS by: Addi Simmons

52

A Niche of Our Own by: Katrina Lott

58

The Snowman: A Family Concert

60

Holiday Survival Guide by: Melissa Foster

62

A God Story by: Carol Spenst

68

Meet Harper by: Ashley Chastain

74

Preston’s Story by: Kim Marbury

76

A Surrogacy Story

78

Calming Fear by: Kelly Krout

82

Miles to Miles by: Nate & Kristin Piston

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spa810 by: Addi Simmons

10 November 2015

o n t h e c ov e r : William and Violet Spenst pictured above with sisters Lily and Bella COVER PHOTO BY: MAIN STREET STUDIOS

from the editor Next Month: Holiday Gift and Event guide coming in December! Do you have a product you want to see featured? Or a store or boutique with great gift items?

Email editor@peekaboonwa.com

Happy November! Fall is finally here, and the holiday season is in full swing... which means my small trio of little ones are out and about -- most of the time looking like a miniature traveling circus. My ducklings are definitely never all in a row, but usually running down an aisle to play hide-and-seek from Mommy, or filling their arms with items they just can’t leave without. I am sure that if the Super Nanny was in town she would have handed me her business card.

Maybe this is why, in the past few weeks, I have been asked if we were done having children at least 20 times. My answer is always the same: a resounding “YES!” Not because I don’t love having kids--being a mom is my favorite thing in the entire world--but I already feel like I am out of hands. Since school started in August, I have found myself triple-booked with each of the kid’s activities. I want to be in all three of their classrooms, but, without a cloning machine, it isn’t possible.

I know it can be done, though. I see it all the time.

Families with 4, 5, and 6 kids are making it work and doing it seamlessly. When I just had one, I thought we had our hands full, and when we had just two, I thought the same thing, and now that we have three, looking back at one was a breeze (but never when you are in the moment, of course) Maybe if we had a fourth, I would appreciate how “easy” it is with just three.

I am always inspired by every single family I see, because, no matter the dynamic or the number of it works.

I especially love Akids, Look Ahead: when I see a family who fully understands that just because they have full hands it does not mean there isn’t still room in their hearts so they choose to add to their family through foster care or adoption.

That is why the November issue is always one of my favorite issues to put togther. I spend the entire time working on it inspired by the amazing stories and people that fill its pages. Adoption is something very dear to my heart, as I gained a brother through this process nearly three decades ago.

The funny thing is, I actually forget that my youngest brother is adopted. In fact just the other day my brother and I were talking about the concept of siblings and reminicing about our shared childhood.

My brother made the statement that some of our differences were probably because he was adopted. I am sure I made a pretty disgruntled, confused face as a response because he quickly retracted it saying, “Well, or it could just be because I am younger.“ I don’t know what it is, but I am very protective over him, and the fact that anyone, even him, would use his method of entry into our family as a form of divide or separation was not permissible.

People wonder how a family can love an adopted child as much as a biological one, and it is only because they have never experienced it. I know firsthand that there is absolutely no difference when it comes to matters of the heart. It doesn’t matter how a child came to be, they just did, and the feelings grow just the same.

Birth stories are some of the most beautiful stories that are shared with Peekaboo each month, but adoption stories are definitely the ones that tug at my heart strings the most. They are all so different, and have so many unique factors--and that makes each story so special. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I have!

Created For You Photography

A Long List of Miracles

by: Becca Cross

“A child born to another woman calls me mommy.

The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me.” – Jody Landers I optimistically hung a sign reading “This Will Be the Best Year Yet” up on my bathroom wall on January 1, 2014. It was a cute, free printable I’d come across online. Since returning to Northwest Arkansas the year before, we had been living in our rental house. I had just given birth to our fourth child, and we were looking for and praying about our next, more permanent home and what that would look like for our family. I anticipated our “best year yet” including a home on land for the kids to have plenty of room to run, climb trees, and maybe even own a few chickens on, plus settling back into our old community. I had no idea that God’s “best year” for us included something else, something that made all of our plans for the “best year” pale by comparison.

Adoption was something Samuel and I had talked about, off and on, ever since before we were married. As young, idealistic twenty-yearolds, we were sure we would adopt someday.

Throughout the years, adoption was definitely always on my heart, and something we always talked of as a “someday” thing. Even as our family grew through our four biological children, Kyla, Nathan, Malachi and Kierstin, we still occasionally talked to people about foster care, with adoption agencies, international adoptions and other options. However, there seemed to always be an obstacle: an impending move, surprise pregnancy, a job change for Samuel, etc. We never had a firm plan or direction for proceeding, except “someday.”

16 November 2015

In December 2013, while I was alone, waiting at our oldest daughter’s horseback riding lessons, I wrote a prayer out in my journal, asking God why I still had such a strong, heavy burden to adopt, when that didn’t seem to be in His plan for our lives. We were so thankful for the four children we had, the youngest being just nine months at the time, and the practicality of adoption just didn’t seem to match the urgings deep in my heart that weren’t going away. I had no way of knowing what was coming only a few short months later, through a series of clearly God-ordained events.

I did not dream that on a Sunday in late June of 2014, we would be spending the day with the birthparents of our son. We were introduced by mutual friends of ours that knew we had a heart for adoption. His birthparents’ story is not mine to share, but I truly treasure the time we were able to spend getting to know one another, with their counselor and our mutual friends, in a casual way, attending church, eating lunch, playing golf, and painting. However, it was not all fun and leisure.

I don’t want to glamorize the tough questions and hard discussions that are an unavoidable part of the conversation of potentially raising someone else’s child. In all of my many, past talks with Samuel, any type of ‘open’ adoption had always been on the “I just can’t do it” side of the fence for me. Actually meeting and knowing the real-life people that had given birth to our child just seemed too messy, too complicated, and too potentially heart-breaking for everyone involved. Plus, it seems like everyone has a story (and was eager to warn us about the potential) of changed minds, failed adoptions, and hurt people. We also had four children already at home to consider. I don’t think anyone is particularly eager to throw their children into an unknown, potentially painful situation where they

have little control, and don’t know the outcome.

Samuel and and I, both separately and together, somehow had a clear peace about taking a huge step of faith and proceeding with the adoption.

Samuel, who I expected to have concerns and questions to last for ages about whether our “someday” was really here, surprised me with this unrelenting statement, “We are all-chips-in on this.” The song ‘Glorious Unfolding’ by Steven Curtis Chapman playing on the radio is one my very distinct memories from that blur of the first day meeting his birthparents, and I still can’t listen to it without tearing up.

“God’s plan from the start for this world and your heart has been to show His glory and His grace Forever revealing the depth and the beauty of His unfailing love And the story has only begun And this is going to be a glorious unfolding Just you wait and see and you will be amazed We’ve just got to believe the story is so far from over So hold on to every promise God has made to us And watch this glorious unfolding” It became really clear to me, really quickly, that this story was about so much more than Sam and Becca wanting to have another child or even wanting to adopt. This was a step of faith we were all taking, not knowing the exact outcome, but knowing the One who holds all of our futures, even that of our new, unborn baby.

We told the children about the birthparents and the baby the very day after we met them. We had briefly considered telling the kids nothing until we were more certain, but this was a road we were all going to be traveling, as a family, and we felt they needed to be taking the journey with us, step by step, walking by faith into the uncertain with us. Ecstatic, our kids thought six weeks seemed like too long, and hoped they would get to meet their new brother sooner. Of course, there were questions from the children…so many questions.

Some came immediately, and others in the following weeks, and some are still coming, even now. Some are hard questions that sometimes require hard answers, from little minds trying to understand this complex relationship and how it works in this often messy life we all have here, on Earth. But their sweet hearts, strong love for Lincoln, and brave faith are lessons that make the hard all worth it. Over a year later, it is still common for them to excitedly brag, upon meeting someone new and making introductions, that this is Lincoln, and “Can you even believe that we get to have him in our family!?” Or, “Isn’t he really the

Turn the page ...

cutest and sweetest baby you have ever seen?”

After our first day with his birthparents, phone numbers were exchanged and doctors’ appointment information shared, as were promises to meet again soon. We began making preparations for the home study and contacted an attorney to begin drafting the adoption paperwork the very next morning. The list of home study requirements can be daunting, especially since we had moved to our more permanent house ‘in the country’ just a few months before, but a baby arriving in 6-ish weeks (or less!) is a great motivator, and we were able to finish our home study in record time. The children actually looked forward to their home study interviews and answered honestly and preciously, alleviating at least one of my concerns. You just never know what young children are going to come up with to say! The last item necessary, our background checks from the state, arrived via mail literally the afternoon before he was born. I went to bi-weekly, and then weekly doctors’ appointments with his birthparents.

The six weeks leading up to Lincoln’s birth at times flew by, and at other times the waiting seemed so long. Regular phone calls with their counselor, making preparations for a new baby in the house, paperwork and doctors’ appointments, talking to our kids and other family members… I remember buying those first tiny baby boy clothes, feeling like I was jumping off of a huge cliff. It seemed so personal, and, would Lincoln actually be here with us to wear them? Even though we didn’t know a certain outcome in our involvement, there were so many indicators of God’s hand on Lincoln’s life already. We were blessed to be taking this step of faith, as a part of his story, whatever that may be.

Romans 12:12 became my verse during those days; “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

Finally, the big day arrived. We spent time with his birth parents before he was born, and his birth father walked out of the room and handed Lincoln to Samuel right after his birth, as we stood with their extended family and counselor, all ooh-ing and aahing over how perfect he was.

The next few days in the hospital were a mix of time spent with Samuel and I getting to know and caring for Lincoln, spending time with his birth parents, introducing him to members of his extended birth family as they came to say both their “hello’s” and “goodbye for now’s.” Bittersweet is the best word I can think of to describe that time.

As Samuel says, Lincoln is a long list of miracles, all too specific and perfectly timed and placed to be coincidence. Per our conversations and agreements before his birth, we continue to send photos of Lincoln to his birthparents. While I’m not particularly excited about having the hard conversation with Lincoln that I know will come as he gets older, I cannot wait to tell him about the clear hand of God on his life, truly from the very beginning, about his birthparents and how he came to be part of our family. I often hear people say, after taking a mission trip, or visiting a third world country, that they went thinking they would help the people, but that the people there actually taught them more than they taught the people.

That has been my experience with adoption; we thought we were just providing a safe, fun, and loving home for a child that needed one, but in the process our family’s faith and love has been stretched and grown so much more.

It was months after Lincoln was born, when I found the entry in a forgotten journal of mine, misplaced during our March, 2014 move to the ‘Cross Farm’.

It was the December, 2013, prayer I wrote about above, asking God why I felt so strongly to add to our family through adoption if it wasn’t in His plans for us. That same month, Lincoln was conceived and his life began. What a wonderful way to learn that I should trust in the Lord always, and not lean on my own understanding, something I’m still learning, as life continues to take twists and turns that often don’t make sense to me at the time.

Lincoln, Son, We love you!

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Abby’s Story by: Abby McCain

E

I was born in Missouri on July 7, 2000. There’s nothing significant about it, other than the fact that I’m adopted.

arly on, I don’t think I ever really grasped the concept of what it meant to be adopted.

In fact, I don’t remember my mama or daddy ever sitting down with me to tell me I was adopted. I just knew.

I knew there was a lady out there somewhere who gave birth to me and gave me to the family I have now. But, aside from that, I didn’t really know anything about my birth parents.

We attended the Bentonville Church of Christ until I was four or five years old. There was a couple there I called Grandma and Grandpa Hess.

I would give them hugs every Sunday at church.

I knew they loved me, although I didn’t really understand who they were, relative-wise. One day after church, I asked, and my mama said they were my birth grandparents.

I was extremely confused. I barely understood what it meant to be adopted, let alone what the term “birth grandparents” meant, so she explained it to me. I learned that when I was in my birth mother’s tummy, those two people I called Grandma and Grandpa Hess came to my mama and daddy. The Hess’s knew my parents were looking for another baby to adopt. When they told them their son’s girlfriend was pregnant and was putting the baby up for adoption, my parents happily agreed to make room for me in their family.

Even though that explanation gave me a better understanding of adoption, the older I got, the more questions I had. Who were my birth parents?

Why did they give me away? Did they not care about me? Would I have just been in their way? All of these questions and negative thoughts lingered in my mind. For a long time, I didn’t ask either of my parents these questions. I felt like my wanting to know more about my adoption would only upset them.

Finally, I asked my mama about it one Sunday afternoon. I was only seven at the time, so she told

22 November 2015

me the bare minimum. She explained that my birth mother and father weren’t married or financially stable enough to be the kind of parents they wanted to be for me. I was assured they wanted me to have parents that could support and give me all the things I needed and wanted.

As I grew, so did my questions. I was about eight when I finally learned my birth mom was actually on methamphetamines... so I was a drug baby.

My mama said I cried and screamed and spit up all over people all the time. She also said that even after six months of, well, not the most enjoyable time, everyone still loved me and loved being around me. That made me feel better.

A few years later, I was talking to my birth grandparents and asked them about my birth father. They said I could meet him the next time he came home from Oregon. I kind of freaked out about it, and I wasn’t quite sure if that was what I wanted.

I had been told my birth mother had two other children who were already in their twenties. So, from my point of view, I felt like my birth parents could not have cared less about me. Why did they give me to another family? What made them leave me? Why didn’t they want me? I still didn’t understand the whole situation, but I wanted to more than anything.

Later, after many conversations with my parents, I agreed to meet him. I was so nervous. Mama had suggested I write down some of the questions I wanted to ask him. My list included everything I could think of. I asked about my height, my artistic abilities, my love for music, stuff like that. He told me I had long legs just like my birth mother. He showed me his paintings and artwork and he explained my love for music came from my birth mother. I was amazed at all the things I learned about my background and myself that day. Before we left, he gave me a charm bracelet. It had all my favorite things on it. It was a sweet gesture.

After all that has happened, I’ve realized my birth parents weren’t ever trying to hurt me. They were trying to keep me from getting hurt. Even though there were many days I felt like my birth parents didn’t want me, I now understand they truly did care for me. They wanted me to have a good life, and they knew that a good life for me meant for them to not be in it.

They gave me up so someone else could give me everything they couldn’t. When they did that, they gave me more than I ever could have wished for; parents to educate me, to take care of me, love me unconditionally, to teach me to be selfless and put others before me, to set good examples, to be a great role model, and lastly, to raise me to be a

Christ-like child of God. In the end, it’s all been worth it. I have the best two parents any teenager could ask for. My mama and daddy are my two best friends in the whole world, and I wouldn’t change that. I have an amazing brother who cares about me no matter what, and I know he will always be there for me, regardless of our differences. I know I can always count on him, and he can count on me. I have amazing friends that love me and care for me; friends who will always have my back and who love God just as much as I do. Thanks to my birth parents and God, I couldn’t have asked for a better life other than the one I’ve been given.

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Dad’s View

Travel Woes with Ben Lacy

Parents these days do a ton for their kids.

We call it a “sacrifice” as we give time, sleeping hours and the GNP of a small country to let our kids “experience” things we didn’t get to do. For the purposes of this article, we’ll center the sacrifice around youth sports.

Most of the parents I know have kids participating in competitive/travel teams. Okay, that’s a lie...

ALL the parents I know have kids participating in competitive/travel teams because the only people you see when you have kids participating in competitive/travel teams are other parents with kids participating in competitive/travel teams. Your world, and bank account, becomes very small.

So, why do we do it? Why do we travel three weeks a month for activities? Why do we pay for six nights in a hotel each month when we are already paying for 30 nights of a mortgage? The answer: I don’t know.

It’s not the hope of raising a future NFL quarterback or World Cup soccer player, or to secure a ballet spot at Julliard. After speaking with dozens of families, there don’t seem to be any unrealistic expectations at the end of the rainbow, despite the enormous growth and opportunity of youth sports in NWA. Trust me, I grew up in a town roughly half the size of Bentonville High School, and we had far more delusional parents back then. Yes, I’m very impressed that Little Johnny ran for 150 yards against a 2A school in Kansas, but I’m not so sure that will equate to becoming the starting running back for the Cowboys in four years. Anyway, the math doesn’t add up, and we have plenty of analysts in this corner of the state...

Meaning, take the amount of money spent on travel teams each year, and instead put that into

26 November 2015

a college fund. At least then you know you have tuition covered, instead of banking on a full ride via sports. Much safer bet.

My assumption is that we are on the eternal treadmill of ‘keeping up with Joneses.’ Our neighbor’s kid plays travel ball, so our kid has to, then the neighbor across the street decides to join in, and away we go. Or, our daughter’s best friend is taking a dance master class in Dallas, so we have to, and then there is another one in Nashville next month, and then a third in Kansas City. It’s a slippery slope.

Besides the financial stress and strain, I’m also concerned that we’ve taught our kids that parents have to be completely absorbed and involved in youth sports. As a youth coach with nearly a decade of experience, I can tell you: that’s bad.

There needs to be a separation of kid time and adult time. These days the two are merged, and the end result is resentment. At some point, your player is going to get tired of the helicopter parent routine and either quit or revolt, and as a parent, at some point you’re going to crack. I’ve seen it happen too many times. The kid gets yelled at because you spent all this money and invested all this time and now they’re not giving 110 percent effort on the field. It could be because the kid is now playing his 7th game in 48 hours and is, quite frankly, tired.

I think back to my 6th grade basketball season vs. my son’s 6th grade basketball season. I played eight games. He played 46. Wow. Eventually, the

kid starts to hate the sport and the parent resents the “lost” investment and the parent/child relationship gets fractured. I also put some blame on the player. I’ve coached a lot of basketball, from kindergarten to 7th grade, and most kids only want to play if they are in a climate-controlled gym, with a nice jersey, cool “Elites” and the latest “Kyries”. Repeatedly I’ve asked, begged and pleaded for my son and members of his various teams to go play pick-up ball at the park. The questions are always the same, “Who is going to ref?” “What jerseys will we wear?” “But, I don’t have my Nikes” “Isn’t it too hot?” “Who will we play?” You learn far more in pick-up games than in “official” games, and I can tell you that the best teams are full of kids that play anytime, anywhere, anyplace.

But, after all that, I’m not anti-travel team. Last year, I coached basketball 46 out of 52 weeks. Obviously I’m in it as much as the next guy. However, like most things, there needs to be balance. Eight games per year, not enough, 46, way too many. As the Walmartians will tell you, that is a “ditch-to-ditch” adjustment. My advice is rather simple: watch and listen to your player. If the kid truly loves the sport, then you ride that horse as long as you can (within financial reason). Let the sport eventually tell them when they are done. But, if you have to force them to get ready for games or threaten them with punishment to get them to practice, then it is likely time for the eternal time-out.

Ad

ption

in Arkansas

W

Justin Heimer is helping NWA families grow

hen you work in adoption, you hear adoption professionals in Arkansas, it is widely the same thing over and over, “I would believed that the best counties to adopt through like to adopt… someday, when the are here in the Northwest corner. Benton County time is right. Not now, and I’m not sure when, and Washington County judges are professional, but definitely someday.” I get it, adoption is a big welcoming and quick to help adoptive parents decision. It is a life-long commitment. It shouldn’t finalize as soon as legal requirements are met. be entered into lightly. But... it Despite the benefits of might be worth considering adopting here, there are There are a lot of whether here and now is three groups who seem good reasons to wait actually the right place and time. most likely to delay getting when considering their process started: those Arkansas has some of the most adoption. There are favorable adoption laws in the who are seeking the traditional also a lot of good U.S. In fact, nearly 50 percent adoption, caretakers and reasons to of the adoptive families I serve international adoptions. get started come from out of state to The first group is those adopting a immediately. adopt under our law. Arkansas child they don’t currently know or is widely known in adoption even know about. This is what many circles to be one of the fastest, people consider a “normal” adoption. simplest, and least expensive places In contrast, if someone is considering to adopt in the country. In fact, one adoption adoption and a child they know becomes available, professional in California jokes that Arkansas is they are more likely to move ahead immediately. where you go for “drive-thru” adoptions. They say that because, in Arkansas, we can effectively For example, if your neighbor’s sister gets pregnant finalize an adoption in just a few days. That’s very and wants to place the child for adoption, and you quick when compared to the several months it want to adopt, you move quickly because of the takes in many states. Termination of birth parent urgency inherent with pregnancy. But, if someone rights quickly and permanently is another benefit wants to adopt through an agency or the foster for families adopting here. In addition to the care system, they are more likely to wait for the smooth legal process, generally speaking, legal and timing to be “right.” other fees for an adoption in Arkansas tend to be However, life’s timing is never perfect, and far less than other areas of the county. feedback from clients tells me their one regret Adopting in Arkansas is great! But, adoption was waiting so long to get the process started. An in Northwest Arkansas is even better. Among adoption can take months or years to complete.

30 November 2015

If you are considering adopting, take the next baby step forward by getting information to see if you should start now. Babies in need of homes are being born all the time, and there are great agencies working to find them one. There are also hundreds of children in the foster care system that are available for adoption right now. Check out The Call (thecallinarkansas.org) or Project Zero (theprojectzero.org) to learn about adopting from foster care.

The second group that can be slow to get started on an adoption are the current caretakers.

These are those stepparents, grandparents, and caretakers who are already parenting a child they know and love but haven’t taken the legal steps to formalize the relationship. This group is almost never slow to act out of a lack of commitment.

Instead, they might be moving slowly because of other relationship issues. Sometimes a stepparent doesn’t adopt because they want to respect their spouse’s former partner. Maybe they fear stirring the pot. When a grandparent or caretaker is parenting, they often won’t adopt because they hope the biological parent of the child will get their life on track and return to care for the child. I understand all of those hopes, fears and concerns.

These aren’t easy issues. But, children tend to do better when they feel more secure. If you are the stepparent, grandparent or caretaker of a child and you are scared to move forward with guardianship or adoption because you don’t want to mess with

the status quo, it is possible the child feels (or someday soon will feel) that same insecurity. Also, as a step-parent, grandparent or caretaker for a child, it may be important to legally establish your relationship with the child so that you aren’t reliant upon your relationship with the child’s birth parent to connect you.

The third and final group that tends to move slowly are those who have adopted internationally and then didn’t follow up with a recognition of adoption decree here in Arkansas. When a child is adopted from another country, Arkansas recognizes that adoption and, technically, you don’t have to follow up with another hearing. However, many families find it wise to do this, and the outcome is both that your child’s name is legally changed to the one you chose and you get an Arkansas birth certificate proving it. As an attorney, I encounter families that didn’t take this last step and, years later, their young adult child had trouble getting their application for college approved or their driver’s license because the child’s birth certificate was written in another language.

There are a lot of good reasons to wait when considering adoption. There are also a lot of good reasons to get started immediately. If you are trying to weigh your options, reach out to me (www.myadoptionarkansas.com) or someone else in the field to see if it might be time to get your process started.

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a shock for our family, but also a relief. A relief that we finally had a name for what was attacking Cooper’s body, but also shocking in terms of how little understanding there was in the medical community regarding this disease. When the initial shock wore off, we had a choice to make, the same choice we all face when adversity stares us down: “What should we do next?”

Fighting against CMD was not just an option.

Anyone who knows Cooper knows it was the only option. Instead, the question was, “How?” How do you raise awareness for a disease that is more common, but less understood than people think?

How do you contribute in a tangible way to help fight this disease?

Perseverance & Passion

This is where perseverance and passion meet. Cooper’s dad, John, has a passion for taking care of our family, coaching basketball and serving others. As John went to work every day, coaching and molding the young players on his team to become the men and leaders they needed to be, Cooper’s fight against CMD was on his mind constantly. This could have taken a toll on John, but, when you are passionate about something for long enough, you find a way to make things work. When you are passionate about several things for long enough, you find a way to make them work together.

Story by: Leslie Mackey

P

erseverance can be defined as “doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.”

Passion can be defined as “a strong devotion to an activity.” Our thirteen-year-old son, Cooper, displays perseverance and passion on a daily basis like no other! I would love to share his story with you.

When Cooper was about seven years old, my

husband John and I began to see fairly quickly that he was behind his peers in terms of muscular strength, flexibility, and endurance. Two years of doctor’s appointments and two muscle biopsies in Arkansas failed to give us a diagnosis. We were referred to the Mayo Clinic in November of 2009 and received a diagnosis of Congenital Muscular Dystrophy (CMD) in February of 2010. CMD represents a group of muscle diseases caused by genetic mutations affecting some of the proteins necessary for muscles, and sometimes for the eyes and/or brain. In short, Cooper’s muscles were being attacked from the inside out in a way that would affect both his strength and speed in comparison to his peers for the rest of his life.

When we first received the news, it was definitely

36 November 2015

After months of thought and planning, an idea began to form and take hold. When it was all said and done, there was a natural answer: start a basketball tournament... a junior high basketball tournament that raises funds for research for Congenital Muscular Dystrophy! The good news about this idea was that Bentonville already had the tournament in place (the Cat Classic). All it needed was a new name, a new focus, and a group of people dedicated to making it happen and doing it effectively. In the fall of 2010, the Cure CMD Classic was born. For the last five years, the tournament has provided quality competition for area teams, a platform for CMD awareness, and an opportunity for players to help raise funds during the week of the tournament for CMD research. To date, BHS Black and Gold players, as well as opposing teams, have raised approximately $20,000 for CMD research.

While several tournaments these days help to raise awareness and funds for good causes, it is the reason behind these tournaments that makes the events so special. Beginning November 17, find your way to the CMD Classic at Bentonville High School and look closely at the Bentonville Gold Basketball team’s bench. You will find what you do every year: an incredibly special assistant coach and a great reason for a tournament.

In the five years since receiving his diagnosis, Cooper continues to demonstrate perseverance and passion every day. In September of 2014, he underwent a procedure known as Selective Percutaneous Myofascial Lengthening (SPML) for the tendons in his legs. From this procedure, we have seen remarkable results in his balance, gait, flexibility, and most of all, confidence. It took a few weeks in a wheelchair and wearing braces on his legs, but, throughout the entire recovery, we never heard a negative word or complaint from Cooper!

Our family feels like he never missed a beat! It has been a little over a year since this surgery, and Cooper is moving right along through junior high.

while navigating through this journey, the words of the Apostle Paul come to my mind. In Hebrews, Paul said, “…And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Hebrews 12:1

Just like his dad, Cooper’s love for sports runs strong. He is passionate about his role as the 8th grade basketball team’s manager, and of course, his role as the Arkansas Razorbacks’ number one fan!

Cooper is such a wonderful example of what can be accomplished if you never give up. He is consistently showing this to us, our other two children, Mallory, 9, and Sutton, 5, his friends, teachers, and anyone who knows him. When I think of Cooper and the positive attitude he exudes

(NIV). John and I are so proud of Cooper for living this verse out loud each day. To help with the Cure CMD Classic, email Kim Moss at kmoss@bentonvillek12.org

For more information on CMD please visit www.curecmd.org

Rituals of Life

Nice eve - nice-eve.com Rootines - rootines.com

Eva Lebens interviews people living in NWA about their family routines and rituals.

Photo by: Lazer Lee Photography

This month, Cheryl Hull shares her story. Cheryl is a dermatologist and the founder of Hull Dermatology and Aesthetics. Cheryl is married to Don, who is a physician at the Veteran’s Hospital in Fayetteville, and they have four children; Conor, 4, Caleb, 3, Colin, 2 and Caroline, 1.

Make Them Feel Loved A few years ago, it suddenly dawned on me that time passes so quickly. I was working a lot, which I loved, but I had always dreamt of being a mother.

Now, I’m a mother to four adopted children. They are 4, 3, 2 and 1 years old and their names all start with the letter ‘C.’ We did not plan to have all the children’s names begin with a C. Then again, we also never thought we would have four children, let alone this close in age! It just happened. We really wanted a sibling for our first child, Conor, and when the adoption of our second child, Caleb, was finalized, Conor’s birth parents called. They were pregnant again and asked us to adopt their baby, which is how Colin joined our family. After having adopted three sons, the only wish we had was to adopt a little girl. Caroline completed our family.

Adopting children doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a bumpy road, and you really have to be convinced that you want it. It’s a true test for your relationship as well. Our road led to four amazing children.

Now, we sing songs and there are books everywhere in our house. “Pete the Cat” is a favorite right now.

Seeing the world through the eyes of my children is amazing. We watch smoke coming out of the chimney, we blow out candles, stare at clouds, and we couldn’t be more excited about it. I get to experience being a child again, and I love it.

Of course, it’s hectic with four under four, and routine is key. When I had only two children, I didn’t do routines. When a friend told me about her strict routines, I just laughed it away, until we adopted two more children. Having four children

38 November 2015

requires routine and some extra help in order to survive! When my husband Don leaves at 6:30AM, the babysitter arrives to take the two youngest to daycare. At 8:00AM, our nanny arrives to take care of the eldest two. I come home about 6:00PM and the children immediately cling on to me like little monkeys! When I’m hugging one of them, I want the others to know that I’m completely aware that they are there, too, so I look each of them in the eye to make sure they know. One of my patients instilled that habit in me.

“Me time” is not about me anymore; it’s about taking care of my family and work. I love my family, and it’s my passion to make a difference in someone’s life through my job as a dermatologist.

People come to me with a rash, a spot, or low selfesteem due to a skin condition, and they put their faith in my hands. The feeling it gives me when I succeed in helping them is indescribable. It works the other way around, too; my patients give me advice about raising my children and I absorb everything they say. They might not know, but I have learned so much from them.

I want to provide my children with the tools to become happy and kind individuals. Above all, I want them to know that we love them more than anything in the world. A dear patient with adopted grandsons once told me that no matter how much you love them, adopted children are more likely than other children to hear a little voice in their heads that someone didn’t love them enough. That thought keeps me busy. They’re still young, but we do our best to make them feel loved by spending quality time with them and by looking them in the eyes. Maybe that’s my biggest goal in life; to make my children feel loved.

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Lizzy B.

Keeping it Real A God girl living in a messed up world.

“All right! Stop watcha doin’, cause I’m about to ruin, the image and the style that ya used to….”

For those of you too young to know, that’s a little Digital Underground with the ever popular “Humpty Dance”. Google it. It’s pretty catchy, and terribly inappropriate. Now that I am old enough to know what all the lyrics to this song mean...

Lord have mercy, but humor me anyway, please.

“So just let me introduce myself, my name Humpty, pronounced with an ‘umpty’”... yet another line from above-mentioned song. Actually, you will know me as Lizzy B. My grandfather used to put me on his CB to talk to truck drivers when I was a little girl, and he let me use the call name “Ten Lizzy.” He did not even drive a truck; he just did it for fun. I miss that man! Life was simple then--I did not care about boys, and I did not know about infertility. I did not know about friends having babies when they were babies. I did not know

42 November 2015

about great loss, or death. I did not know many of these friends would watch their babies die. I did not know many of these friends would bury their spouses at a young age. I did not know how hard it was to be a decent mom, and I did not know how hard it was to be a good wife. I did not know how sad and unhappy the world can be. However, the best part of all of that is, I also didn’t know how grace-filled my God would be either. God allows that which he hates to accomplish that which He loves. You see, none of this is about us. We make it about us. We have a pity party and wish it all away, when we should embrace it and see what there is in this part of the journey for us to grow from and adapt to.

I am a pretty unconventional mommy. I will say that it definitely takes a village, and I love my village.

I hope you have a village. I have one because, as a wife, mom, and friend, I do not know it all. I will not claim to know it all. I will never know it all and I am okay with that. I am actually better than okay with that because of a little something called grace.

God gives it to me in abundance.

We put ourselves in a position to compare our situations, but, in the end we are all guilty. I am in a constant battle to keep myself in check and remind myself to embrace my story as it is being played

out. Do not latch onto anyone else’s story, because it is their story. I try to own my story and wear it as a badge of honor. I think in life we should all get Girl Scout vests and create badges to tell our story and wear them around--to show what we fought through. To show what we endured and came through, stronger than ever. I think we would more easily give grace to ourselves and others that way. There are parts of my story that stink... really, really stink. There are also parts of my story that are really beautiful. I have a great responsibility to give glory where it is due, and God’s got my back.

You see, in all those stories we were read as kids, there was a happily ever after. In those same stories, someone probably died or was poisoned or whatever other awful things you could think of occurred first. Those stories are terrible, but the ending was always on the up and up because they lived happily ever after. You notice it was not perfectly ever after. It never will be. It is what we take from it. Are we choosing to be joyful in the midst of life? Are we looking at a situation and seeing how it can be used for our good? Are we trusting God to hold us and let us feel His love when we are unlovable? Our worth and value will never be found in a car, house, job, or relationship.

Our worth can only be found in Him. A car will wear out. A house will eventually fall down. A job can be taken at any moment. Although God commands us to love our spouse as Jesus loves the church, we all know that because we are imperfect, we fail our spouses often. The question here is do we try and do better? Do we make ourselves uncomfortable? Do we push the limits and give it all we have?

It is a heart issue. To be joy-filled, we have to decide where our energy and commitment goes.

It is a conscious choice to find the good and be happy about it. It is not found in anything. It is not found in any person. It is found within ourselves.

We choose it.

This is an ongoing learning experience. I used to go to bed with a head full of worry. “What ifs” and “should haves” flooded my thoughts. Now when I lay my head down at night, I give myself grace and know that I either gave it my best or I royally screwed up. If I gave it my best, then I try and emulate and grow from that. If I royally screwed up, I try and do better. That even means that sometimes I have to apologize to my kids or husband for a harsh word or a short fuse. Where will they learn about finding joy, showing love, and giving grace unless we show them? Our children are with us for years for a reason. Humans have many things to learn. They will learn what they are taught and modeled throughout their formative years. Are we teaching them to love, or are we withholding love and affection? Are we teaching

them to give grace, or are we harsh with others?

Are we teaching them to be faithful when life is hard, or are we showing them to run? Are we teaching them to be hopeful when it does not seem like there is much to hope for, or are we teaching them to give up? Everything we do is watched.

Everything we model is emulated because children emulate what they see. What are we allowing them to see? Are they seeing God through us, or are they seeing our human side too much?

There will be no “do-overs” for life. We cannot go back and change what is written. We can give ourselves that little thing called “grace” at the end of the day and know that tomorrow is like a “do over.” What did we take from today to improve tomorrow?

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.” I Corinthians 13: 4-8 Love yourself. Love your people. Give yourself grace. Give your people grace. When you can do this for yourself, it is much easier to give it freely to others. God gives it to you. Give it to yourself and those around you.

Meet Dr. Nick, DDS

The Dr. Oz of Dentistry right here in NWA

by: Addi Simmons

I

n just the past ten years, Northwest Arkansas has grown tremendously, bringing in businesses and employees from all over the country to settle in the Ozarks. One recent NWA transplant is Dr. Nick Yiannios, a dentist whose original office was in Branson, Missouri but is now rapidly making a large impact on our community.

It’s hard to miss Dr. Nick’s business. The office is a towering, castle-like structure which stands out next to a plethora of smaller, rectangular buildings scattered around the newly developing Pinnacle Hills area. Inside, the style is modern and edgy, and the staff members are friendly and outgoing. In case you or your little one is experiencing dental anxiety, a large bowl of squeeze balls are available to take back with you to your appointment. Dr. Nick has an energetic, but calming demeanor. He’s talkative and helpful, never failing to make patients laugh and ease any nerves they may have. He is already making great strides towards helping folks in NWA feel confident and comfortable during a visit which they perhaps used to dread.

Dr. Nick isn’t just well-regarded locally.

Patients fly in from various countries and states to experience Dr. Nick’s services and expertise, and what brings all these out-of-towners in—and what makes Dr. Nick different from other dentists—stems directly from his contagious passion for all things teeth. Dr. Nick decided to study dentistry because, according to him, it is the perfect marriage of science and art, two of his greatest interests. While explaining the place of technology in dentistry and dental procedures in general, his eyes light up, and one gets the sense he could happily talk to no end about his job.

What’s more, unlike many staid dental practices, Dr. Nick relies on a multitude of technologies to get precise results and measurements while performing different procedures. Years ago, Dr. Nick introduced digital robotic dental technology (CEREC® CAD/CAM) into his workflow, which enabled him to eliminate the demand for more erroneous processes, such as using molds or temporaries. Incorporating this technology into his practice has allowed Dr. Nick to complete many complex, lengthy procedures in only one appointment, including same-day porcelain crowns and veneers.

“The more I can measure things, the less problematic they are,” Dr. Nick said. “The fewer root canals, the fewer bite issues, the fewer broken teeth, the fewer sensitive teeth.”

In 2012, Dr. Nick observed something that no other dentist had ever documented. He realized there was a direct link between hypersensitive teeth and hyperactive chewing muscles. Using digital technology, Dr. Nick found that sensitivity issues could be corrected in a single visit while addressing these muscle-bite issues.

Months after this discovery, which he labeled Frictional Dental Hypersensitivity (FDH), Dr. Nick was asked to write a chapter in a dental textbook describing his revelation. It took about two years before the chapter would be ready for publication, so in the meantime, Dr. Nick decided to upload live patient videos relating to his treatment protocols on his YouTube homepage, DrNickDDS, so that both

Although Dr. Nick is an accomplished dentist who is rapidly becoming renowned in NWA, it is ultimately his incredible passion for dentistry that sets him apart from other dentists in the area.

patients and doctors alike might quickly benefit from his knowledge. Ultimately, both the video exposures and the textbook publication resulted in his routinely treating patients from afar.

“To be published as a private practitioner, with real science and real research…that doesn’t happen,” Dr. Nick said. “It takes a lot of time.

My wife will attest to that.”

In addition to patients that fly in from across the globe to be treated by Dr. Nick for FDH, and related bite and “TMJ” issues, it is his mercuryfree services that bring in holistic patients.

These patients will cross state lines and drive five or six hours just so they can get fillings or have them removed without the danger of being exposed to mercury.

Dr. Nick explained that the American Dental Association (ADA) acknowledges the dangers associated with mercury fillings during placement and removal but generally regard it as “okay” to use. “However, mercury is the most toxic non-radioactive element on the planet,” Dr. Nick said. “It’s a heavy metal, and many dentists are still using it inside mercury amalgam.”

Mercury-free dentists like Dr. Nick do not place mercury fillings but instead rely on other alternatives such as composites or ceramics.

With this option, patients not only get precise tooth-colored restorations, but dentists are also able to insert these fillings using minimallyinvasive procedures, meaning the patient can keep as much of their original tooth as possible.

“We’ll do big fillings out of ceramics, which is the best you can get,” Dr. Nick said. “There’s lots of mercury-free dentists, but how many mercury-free dentists are safe for the patient, or protect them from that vapor that is created when you remove [fillings]? Almost none. So we think both ways. We say, okay, we’ve got to get it out, but we need to get it out safely.”

Dr. Nick believes mercury fillings are not safe for patients under any circumstances but are especially dangerous to children and expectant mothers. He mentioned prevention is important when considering one’s health, as well as the health of future children, and that researching mercury-free alternatives is essential.

Dr. Nick typically treats children five and older. The primary goal is to make the child comfortable so they will not have a negative dental experience that could psychologically impact them and impede future dentist visits.

The most important thing concerning young patients besides that is the identification of growth anomalies. According to Dr. Nick, getting thumped hard in the chin during soccer practice or while roughhousing with siblings can affect the jaw joints (TMJ), and if unidentified, pain, FDH, and other TMJ issues could be present in the future. If discovered early, these issues are usually avoidable. It’s technology and unique knowledge available in Dr. Nick’s practice that help identify these issues and bring in patients from all over the world.

Although Dr. Nick is an accomplished dentist who is rapidly becoming renowned in NWA, it is ultimately his incredible passion for dentistry that sets him apart from other dentists in the area. When he isn’t in the office, one could find him researching and reading (“mostly professional stuff ”) as well as occasionally fishing, which he claims is his outlet. “I’ve lived a lot of places, and I’m kind of finding myself in the Ozarks,” Dr. Nick said.

Though highly successful in his Branson dental practice, Dr. Nick made the decision to build a new, state-of-the-art dental practice here in Northwest Arkansas following his other great passion—family. To learn more about Dr. Nick DDS visit www.drnickdds.com

www.peekaboonwa.com

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CALENDAR • 2015 Weekly Activities: Monday:

Artist Retreat Center 2D Design - 12 p.m. - 2 p.m.

13467 Lookout Drive, Bella Vista

Library story times:

Bentonville Public Library: bentonvillelibrary.org Fayetteville Public Library: faylib.org Springdale Public Library: springdalelibrary.org Rogers Public Library: rogerspubliclibrary.org Siloam Springs Library: siloamsprings.com

Various design projects for beginners to advanced. Ages 8-13. Call (479) 268-6463 to register.

Special events:

Artist Retreat Center Art and Nature - 2:30 p.m. to 4:30 p.m.

13467 Lookout Drive, Bella Vista

Sunday, November 1

Gather from nature and create a take-home project. Ages 8-13. Call (479) 268-6463 to register.

Tuesday:

Family Program 11 a.m.

Siloam Springs Public Library

Wednesday:

Little Sprouts at Botanical Gardens of the Ozarks 9:30 a.m. & 10:15 a.m. http://bgozarks.org/learn/education-classes/little-sprouts/ Preschool Art Class » Creative Colors Crystal Bridges Let’s cover the basics of art this fall, starting with lines! All materials are provided. $45/3 classes for one child plus an adult ($36 for Members), register online or by calling Guest Services at 479.657.2335.Wednesday, September 2, 9, and 16, 1 p.m. to 2:15 p.m.

Thursday:

Storytime Fun - Siloam Springs Public Library 11:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.

Preschool Program – Storytime with Ms. Laura

Friday:

Creative Movement Class 10:30 a.m.

Little Giggles - Bentonville Free with admission and open to all ages! Music, song, and parachute fun with Miss Alana!

Saturday:

Storytime at Barnes and Noble, Rogers and Fayetteville 11:00 a.m.

Sunday:

Sidewalk Sundays Walmart Museum in Downtown Bentonville Themed crafts and games and activities. Drop in anytime between 2-5pm

Holiday Open House Downtown Siloam Springs 1 p.m. - 5 p.m.

Holiday Open House highlights the new holiday merchandise at retailers throughout Siloam Springs.

Refreshments, door prizes, and a unique opportunity to shop locally for Christmas presents make this one of Main Street’s most popular events!

Fall Photo TrainSun 8am – 8am AR/MO RR, Springdale Depot Fall photo train through the Boston Mountain with stops along the way. There will be 1 1/2 layover in Van Buren The Lorax Hobbs State Park 1 p.m. - 1:30 p.m.

Admission: Free. Meeting Place: Visitor Center. Listen in as Park Interpreter Steve reads The Lorax. Do you know what the Lorax was? Do you know who the most important character was in the story? It’s not the Lorax

Thursday, November 5

The Addams Family Rogers Public Theater www.ArkansasPublicTheatre.org Wednesday Addams, the ultimate princess of darkness, has grown up and fallen in love with a sweet, smart young man from a respectable family-a man her parents have never met.

Everything will change for the whole family on the fateful night they host a dinner for Wednesday’s ‘normal’ boyfriend and his parents.

Friday, November 6

Toyland on the Square - First Friday Event Downtown Bentonville Walmart toy vendors come in from around the country to showcase their new toy lines, offering a unique opportunity for Northwest Arkansas citizens and beyond to get a sneak peak at Santa’s Christmas list. Live music, food and kids’ activities are included in this event.

Me and My Shadow 6pm Walton Arts Center With fantastical imagery, quirky physical performances and an intriguing score, this show will ignite the imagination of your child in a poetic experience that explores the frustration

November

and joys of friendship. Best for ages 4+.

Sat, November 7

Renaissance Festival : games, crafts and more Old Town Park - Gravette 10am - 5pm The Annual Gravette Library Renaissance Festival of 2015-. Food vendors & entertainment for all ages. Hosted by the Gravette Library & sponsored by businesses in the area--we welcome you and your family to experience a bit of Renaissance England. Demonstrations by the SCA in fencing, spinners, etc. Crafts, games, music, food. Feel free to dress up in your Renaissance dress or just come to see others. Local author Nicole Morrow will be leading children’s events, crafts and storytimes & have a Fairy Tale tent setup with her books.

Tues, November 10

Open Hearts, Open Homes Gala Horton Farms, Gravette, AR 6pm Join us for an evening to support Foster Care and Adoption in NWA. Semi-formal event including dinner and auction and an address by Asa Hutchinson. Sponsored by Sam’s Furniture. For tickets email: nwa@thecallinarkansas.org

Friday, November 14 Grand Opening Open House at Princess Party Palace Fayetteville Princess Meet and Greet. Limited Tickets Available. princesspartypalacenwa.com

Friday, November 20

Arrival of Santa at the NWA Mall Join us in the Food Court for holiday entertainment by the Northwest Arkansas Dance

Company followed by the arrival of Santa Claus. Kids are invited to parade with Santa to his holiday home in Center Court. FREE gift to the first 50 customers who purchase a Santa photo package!

Lighting of the Square Parade Fayetteville Square The lighting of the Fayetteville Downtown Square kicks off with the lighting night parade at 6:00 p.m. Many civic clubs and business are represented in the parade with carsand characters. The parade closes with our special guest, Santa Claus!

Sat, November 21

11th Annual Girls on the Run of NWA Downtown Bentonville Square 5K and 10K Lighting of the Bentonville Square and the Opening of the Rink at Lawrence Plaza Bentonville

Mon, November 23

Super Science NWA Holiday Camp www.super-sci.com Bentonville Community Center 10am-4pm 4-12 year olds experience a full day of mind blowing science that include building your own rocket, laser light show, dinosaur tooth casting, and much more!

A day of Spectacular Learning!

Fri, November 27

Green Friday Hobbs State Park Consider celebrating the season in a relaxing way with your friends and family that

reconnects you to what is really important. In an effort to help you reconnect with the things important in your life, we will be hosting a day of hikes, nature crafts, and family fun programming. Let’s truly give thanks this holiday season.

Sat, November 28

Christmas Parade of the Ozarks Shiloh Square, Springdale 6pm Meet us on Emma Street to get in the Christmas spirit with music, lights, rodeo queens, and “Merry Christmas” wishes. Begins at the rodeo grounds and continues through downtown.

Small Business Saturday Support our downtown businesses with a festive shopping experience. Buy local and enjoy treats sponsored by our appreciative small stores.

Sun, Nov. 29

16th Annual Open House Rogers Historical Museum 12:30-4 p.m.

Celebrate the beginning of the Christmas season with us.

Take a tour through the 1895 Hawkins House decorated for a typical Rogers Christmas from 1900. There will be crafts and refreshments and Santa Claus will stop by!

www.peekaboonwa.com

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A Niche of Our Own by: Katrina Lott

My little family has a unique little niche in society; I am a single adoptive mother of two children with special needs.

It’s a mouthful, isn’t it? More than that, it’s a life full!

My journey to this point in life began when I was quite small.

I seemed to have been born to be a mom. I was always scouring the woods behind my home looking for abandoned children, and would pray my baby dolls would come alive. When I was 14, I sat in a doctor’s office and listened to him tell my mother I would probably never be able to have children. So, my heart turned even more to adoption.

I was 31 years old when I finally pursued my dream of becoming a foster parent. I had been in a couple of serious relationships, but both had ended in heartbreak. I was determined not to let being single hold me back any longer, and in May

52 November 2015

2005, the foster care journey began. I fostered several children long-term, and two went to adoptive placements from my home. At first, I felt a personal sense of failure because I did not adopt those children, but one day, I felt God speak to me and He said, “You’re not called to adopt them all.”

Those two kids were placed in wonderful families and have been amazingly successful. That was great, but I wondered if I would ever be able to have a child that I could keep forever.

On January 22, 2008, the phone rang. It was my friend, Erin, who was also a foster parent. She told me I needed to call DHS because they were looking for placement for a baby. I was so anxious, my hands were shaking as I called the investigator.

She asked me if I was willing to keep the baby long-term because she expected him to go up for adoption. “Yes,” I said. So, on a frigid wintery night, I dashed out the door in my red striped pajamas, on my way to pick up a baby I had just committed to, completely unseen. The first time I saw him, he was sitting in the car seat in the DHS worker’s backseat, with no coat or socks. He had come straight from the emergency room due to a near-drowning incident. I packed him into my

car and headed to Walmart for formula. Yes, in my pajamas, with an underdressed 7 1/2 month old little boy that I had just met. Then, it happened. I was racing past the frozen food aisle when I looked down at the little boy in my shopping cart. He was slumped over, unable to even hold himself upright.

He looked up at me with the most beautiful blue eyes framed by unbelievably long lashes, and I swear that boy spoke to my soul. “Lady,” his eyes said, “you wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had.” That’s all it took for me to fall in love with him, my Joey. I knew he was going to be my son.

On Joey’s 1st birthday several months later, I received a call from his case worker and the supervisor of DHS and they told me his birth mother voluntarily signed away her rights. What a birthday present! A few days later, I went to a mediation at the DHS office. It was the first one I had attended, so I didn’t know what to expect.

Imagine my surprise when I walked out, stunned, carrying Joey’s little brother, Matthew, who was a gorgeous 2 1/2 month old! Once again, the birth mother signed over her rights and the following spring, Joey and Matthew officially became my sons.

A lot of people aren’t aware that single people can adopt. I have come to know several more single parents that have adopted, one of whom is my brother, Charles. Charles also adopted two boys through foster care and, when the four cousins get together... well, it’s never boring!

Is it easy being a single parent? Is it easy being an adoptive parent? Is it easy being the parent of children with special needs? The answer is “no” to all of these questions, but it’s not about things being easy. It’s about giving children a family that will love them, provide for them, and be their advocate.

Do I sometimes wish I had a husband that I could say, “Honey, you’ve got the kids tonight, I need a break”? Yes, I do. But, most of the time, we do all right. I’m the one who taught my boys how to ride a bike. I get to be Matthew’s soccer practice buddy.

I am the one who wrestled with them on the floor when they were much smaller. I get to experience it all--the good, the bad, and the ugly! Most of the time, I am exhausted. But all of the time, I am grateful to be a mom.

Now, Joey is eight and Matthew is seven. Joey has been diagnosed with autism, and Matthew has a significant mood disorder. When I get overwhelmed, I look at them, these precious boys of mine, and I think about how it could have

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been and where they could be. What if Joey had been face down in that bathtub just a few seconds longer? What if Matthew hadn’t been taken into

care at birth? It makes me catch my breath and thank God for their lives, even when I occasionally want to ground them until they are 25!

5.

Don’t minimize our struggles. If we confide in you about our children’s struggles, don’t say things like, “Oh they’re just kids. They’re normal.”

Chances are, you didn’t make the choices their birth parents made, so that makes your comparisons invalid, and it makes us feel even more alone.

Being a single parent under any circumstance is daunting, so what are some practical ways people can support families like mine and my brother’s?

Here are a few:

1.

Listen. Sometimes I just need to talk to another adult. I need to vent and ramble and say things out loud to someone in order to figure things out. Thankfully, my best friend Erin has been a lifesaver and has done her fair share of hearing me rant on the phone!

2.

Offer to watch the kids. Going shopping or watching a movie that isn’t animated is a real treat, and the best thing of all is to get to take a nap! It’s hard for me to ask someone to watch my boys because I can’t afford to pay much, and because I know they can be a handful. Also I want people to ask because they genuinely enjoy my sons.

3.

Be willing to learn our language. It’s like we have our own dialect sometimes, and my family has been awesome in this regard.

They have learned so much about everything from prenatal drug and alcohol exposure to diagnoses they had never even heard of before.

4.

Be on call for emergencies. Sometimes we fall down the stairs in the middle of the night (yes, that would be me) and need someone we can call while we wait for the ambulance. My brother needs help from time to time with picking up his kids from school due to his work schedule.

If you have kids that attend the same school or live close to a single parent family, ask if you can help occasionally with getting them home.

6.

Do encourage us.

Simple statements like, “You’re doing a good job as a mom,” or, “Your sons were so well behaved today,” means a lot. We’re not saints, and, like everyone else, we need an occasional pat on the back. That goes for the kids, too; my boys are aware of their challenges, and when someone gives them a genuine compliment, it makes their day.

7.

If you are a church leader, be willing to accommodate our kids. I am thankful that my church lets my boys go into a classroom for younger children, because that is where they are comfortable. No one looks askance at my youngest son if he chooses to stay with me in the main service and paces up and down our row, slinging his weighted shoulder pad around. Yes, it’s happened.

8.

Remember us on holidays. It’s a little awkward on Father’s Day when my sons bring me a paper necktie wishing their dad a happy day. Provide alternate crafts/activities for children who don’t have a mother or father in their life. It’s okay to tell a single mom “Happy Father’s Day” and to wish a single dad “Happy Mother’s Day”.

It’s a little weird, I know, but we appreciate the sentiment.

9.

“How can I help?” An amazingly simple phrase that is much appreciated... especially if you see a mom or dad alone in public with a child who is obviously struggling. Please, ask if you can do anything to help.

10.

Don’t assume, but do ask questions.

Yes, my sons came to live with me as infants. No, love does not overcome every genetic factor, although I wish it did. I welcome questions from people who have a genuine desire to understand our little family and the challenges we face.

11.

The elephant in the room, financial help.

It doesn’t have to be money. My friend gives me her son’s hand-me-downs… jackpot! My boys fight over them. Sometimes those clothes make through all four boys and are still in good enough shape to be sold at local consignment sales. Personally, I think we should get an award for that! If you offer services such as tutoring, or know how to play an instrument, consider scholarships for children who may not have these opportunities otherwise. A lot of people believe that we get paid to adopt children, but that isn’t always the case. Since my children were very young when I adopted them, their special needs were not fully evident and they did not qualify for subsidies.

12.

Celebrate and mourn with us. My boys had amazing adoption celebrations. They never had a baby shower, so they had never been celebrated. That meant the world to me, that people would come and rejoice with us. On the flip side, my youngest son had to go inpatient for a week when he was 6 years old, and I was absolutely crushed. I will never forget my heart breaking as I watched my baby walk down a hallway, clutching his blue stuffed bunny and hearing the door lock behind him. I cried more that week than I ever have. I thank God I had friends and family to support Matthew and myself, because I don’t know if I would have made it.

I want to thank the tremendous people who make up our team and support system: our family and friends, my soul sister, Erin Avila, my leaders and coworkers at the Northwest Arkansas Children’s Shelter, Jarvis Pediatric Therapies, Cassady Children’s Center, Dr. Barry Allen, Centerton Family Eyecare, Ozark Guidance Center, Shaw Elementary teachers and staff, Reach Church, and Dr. Virginia Krauft.

Our lives are much richer because of each of you. Joey and Matthew, your mommy loves you more than you can ever know; I am humbled and honored that God chose me for you. Most of all, I give God thanks for His ne ve r- f ai l i ng faithfulness and constant presence.

SoNA and Walton Arts Center Proudly Present

‘The Snowman: A Family Concert’ on December 6

Holiday Spectacular for Kids and Families Part of SoNA’s Traditional Christmas Lineup

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— brings that magical thought alive in a way that captivates both young and old alike.”

Captivating to audiences of all ages, The Snowman: A Family Concert features a special screening of the Academy Award-nominated, holiday hit film “The Snowman,” which boasts an extraordinary orchestral soundtrack that SoNA performs live – showcasing the region’s finest professional musicians, performing under the baton of acclaimed SoNA Music Director Paul Haas.

SoNA Executive Director Matthew Herren says that audiences can look forward to an enhanced performance of The Snowman this year thanks to a newly expanded collaboration with Walton Arts Center, whose partnership also made SoNA’s inaugural Fourth of July concert at the Walmart AMP this past summer such a huge success with families across the region.

ack by popular demand this holiday season, the Symphony of Northwest Arkansas (SoNA), in partnership with Walton Arts Center, presents the return of an exciting holiday concert spectacular especially for children and families at 2 p.m. on Sunday, December 6 at Walton Arts Center in Fayetteville. This special family performance takes place the day after SoNA’s ever-popular Christmas concert, which is one of Northwest Arkansas’ most beloved Yuletide traditions.

“This concert captures so poignantly and poetically the beauty and powerful imagination of youth,” Maestro Haas said. “All of us remember what it was like as a child to wish that our favorite toys or stuffed animals would come to life, and in fact to believe they would! This silent film — accompanied by an extraordinary score for virtuosic orchestra

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“I speak from personal experience,” Haas continued. “My two young daughters have adopted this film as their holiday favorite, and my wife and I often find ourselves drawn into the experience, stopping whatever we’re doing to watch it with them. It’s that powerful. Even if you haven’t heard of it before, do yourself and your family a favor and come to this concert!”

Also make plans to enjoy A Very SoNA Christmas on Saturday, December 5 at 7:30 p.m. at Walton Arts Center. SoNA’s ever-popular Christmas concert is a tradition like none other. Celebrating the beauty and magic of the holidays with a blended collection of sacred and secular favorites, A Very SoNA Christmas features the SoNA Singers, an auditioned group of choral singers led

by director Terry Hicks — one of Arkansas’ most respected choral conductors — and the University of Arkansas Schola Cantorum, an elite choral ensemble performing under the direction of Dr. Stephen Caldwell.

organic and beautiful coming together of people from all walks of life, and SoNA’s Christmas Pops concert mirrors that coming together with an extraordinary blend of traditional and pops programming.”

“This is for many reasons my favorite concert of the year,” Haas said of A Very SoNA Christmas.

“It’s become a Northwest Arkansas tradition in a very short time, and I think the reason is that we bring together so many different parts of the community, celebrating through music this joyous season. Northwest Arkansas is so much more than a collection of cities and towns – it really is an

Tickets for The Snowman — which are only $8 — and A Very SoNA Christmas ($28, $39, $50) are going fast. If you haven’t reserved your seats yet, do so now!

To purchase tickets, please call Walton Arts Center’s box office at (479) 443-5600 or visit www.sonamusic.org for online ticketing options and full season information.

Holiday Survival Guide

By Melissa Foster

Children’s Therapy TEAM Pediatric Occupational Therapist

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hanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, New Year’s...the holiday season is upon us! The holidays are a time of big changes in routine for most families. These changes can be particularly difficult for children with Sensory Processing Disorder. With new foods, new clothes, new smells, new people, new routine…it can be the perfect recipe for a meltdown! Here are a few ideas to help set realistic goals and expectations for this holiday season.

1. Keep your standard routine as much as possible.

Great fluctuations in sleeping habits and meal times can create hungry, cranky, tired children (and adults!).

The more you can stay with your typical nap, bedtime, and mealtime routine, the better. It may also be helpful to keep healthy snacks handy if mealtimes get delayed.

2. Consider clothing requirements with holiday outfits.

Many children with tactile defensiveness are defensive toward various textures/styles of clothing. A child who only wears sweatpants and t-shirts is not suddenly going to be happy wearing a button up shirt tucked in with a belt. Choose holiday outfits with softer fabrics. If you have a special outfit in mind that you think may be troublesome, have your child wear the outfit around the house on a calm afternoon so they can get used to it in a less stressful environment.

3. Remember special diets/allergies as well as food preferences.

In general, it is good to encourage trying new foods. However, this is not the time. Simply dealing with the change in routine of the holidays is enough. Talk to those preparing food so you can learn ahead of time what your child can/can’t eat so you can bring additional dishes if needed.

4. Set realistic expectations for social interaction with extended family.

A child who has social anxiety will likely not suddenly warm up to relatives they have not seen in 6 months. If you think this may be a problem, let relatives know in advance. Tell them that social skills are area you are working on. Consider having your child practice an appropriate greeting (such as a “high five”) prior to family arriving and role play how he should interact with various family members.

5. Set realistic expectations surrounding holiday ceremonies.

Consider how long your child can reasonably sit in one location, the level of noise involved, how crowded the situation will be, what will be your escape strategy, etc. A little planning can help set your child up for success.

6. Designate a quiet “safe zone.”

This can be any quiet area away from the hustle and bustle of the holiday.

Line the space with blankets, pillows, books, fidget toys, and stuffed animals. Allow for quiet music and soft lights. Ideally, this is not a space for electronics, as they can be too stimulating. Your child should be allowed to go to this space anytime they feel overwhelmed. (Don’t we all wish we had a space like this!)

7. Create a social story.

A social story is simply a story that you create with your child to describe a setting and/or task of particular difficulty. This story book depicts a situation with your child as the main character and then describes the proper way to act. These stories work because they help inform the child concerning expectations and proper responses to the situation.

Melissa Foster draws on over a decade of Pediatric Occupational Therapy experience to write a weekly Children’s Therapy TEAM Blog responding to parent questions. Find the blog at www.childrenstherapyteam.com.

Children’s Therapy TEAM offers:

Adaptive Recreation Activities • Aquatic Therapy Developmental Therapy • Family Support Services Funding Support • International Outreach • Occupational Therapy Orthotics • Physical Therapy • Serial Casting • Speech Therapy VitalStim Therapy... all in one FAITH-BASED TEAM!

Call 521-TEAM (8326) to learn more.

L E A D I N G P E D I A T R I C T H E R A P Y C A R E I N NWA

Children’s Therapy TEAM offers NWA’s only therapy-based Pediatric Orthotics Programs & Serial Casting Centers

Believe in KIDS.

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by: Carol Spenst

God Story Our adoption story is a God story that I could have totally missed. I’m so grateful for his grace and kindness to our family through each of our children - biological and adopted.

We are blessed beyond measure.

Here’s our story.

One question I often get is, “Did you always know you wanted to adopt?” Then I laugh, because adoption was truly one of the farthest things from my mind. It sounded hard (it is) and complicated (check), and I just wasn’t interested. However, God had other plans.

In March of 2011, my heart began to change. We had two very young biological daughters at the time, and we were looking at the possibility of growing our family even more.

As my husband, John, and I spoke at length, I could feel it growing—the pull towards adoption, an understanding of the great need of orphans and a belief we may be able to play a part and grow our family at the same time. Now, we are not people that ever do anything half-way. We jumped in feet first, and the more we thought and prayed about it, the more we believed that instead of just adopting one, we should try to adopt two at the same time.

There are so many adoption paths available, each with its own set of pros, cons, and challenges. We initially started to pursue an international adoption, hoping to adopt two boys from Ethiopia, and we were open to special needs. As the process continued, we realized that because of agency parameters and the ages of our daughters, we would essentially be waiting for infant twins. It felt crazy, but I felt certain about the road we were on, so even when we were given the possibility to adopt just one child—we turned it down, knowing that we should be waiting for two.

Looking back, I can so clearly see the hand of God here. I blogged about our journey and updated our wait-list number we were given every month as well as our plans for a trip to Africa. I can’t explain it, but there was a peace, even knowing what we were waiting for was sort of specific and a bit unlikely.

On March 25, 2013, everything changed. I went to my normal Monday morning workout class, and as I was leaving, a friend came to me with tears in her eyes saying she needed to speak with me right then.

I started shaking, because I knew it was serious, though I had no idea what was coming. She said, “I know where you are in your adoption process, but I got an email from a friend this morning about a local birth mom who is pregnant with twin boys and due any day. They need a family. God told me I had to tell you.”

Even now, I still get chills and tears writing that.

Obviously, there were a million questions, and unfortunately, there were only a couple of answers.

After speaking with John, we decided we had gotten into the adoption process to fill a need in the world, and if this was the need that was right in front of us, we should say YES at any place we could. I got in touch with the mother of the birth mom, and, after

talking for a while, we agreed we should try to move forward with this adoption, even though there was still a lot of uncertainty.

What followed next was a month of ups and downs and heartache and waiting by a phone that didn’t seem likely to ever ring. We hired an attorney, got our home study updated, and bought a mini-van just in case it all went through, though we really had no idea if it would actually end up happening.

world, they were ours; we knew it and felt it. It was different and the same and altogether beautiful.

After spending three weeks in the NICU, the twins got to come home with us. Our adoption was finalized

On a Monday night in late April, my phone rang. It was THE call. “They’ve been born! It’s a boy and a girl! Are you still interested?”

YES! Our hearts and minds rushed God knew exactly into overdrive. After another two days of riding an excruciatingly what we needed, and he knew emotional roller coaster, the papers were signed, and we exactly what each of our children rushed to the hospital to meet our needed, and he put us together. 3 days after they were released, and son and daughter who were in the we relished being a family of six. I I’m so NICU, but doing really well at a only remember bits and pieces of it, tiny 3.5 and 4.5 lbs. thankful. because we were absolutely exhausted.

Preemie twins who need round-the-clock I can’t begin to explain the love we nourishment and care are no joke. Plus, our immediately felt. I had been nervous about taking on children who I hadn’t birthed. I didn’t other daughters were two and four at the time, so it is know if I would feel the same sort of attachment. only by the grace of God and lots of help from family But, where our biological girls grew inside of me, the and friends that we made it through those first few twins grew in our hearts, and once they came into the months.

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Adoption is a complicated journey with lots of bumps along the way, but

I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Now that the dust has settled, we have started to figure out life. Our girls absolutely adore the babies, and because they were so young when the adoption happened, they can’t imagine any other family. It was nice they each had a baby to claim as their own, which they immediately did. While having four children four and under will always be one of the hardest things I’ve done, I’m so thankful.

We have grown close to those members of the twins’ birth family with whom we can have relationships.

Their grandmother is Gran Gran to all of my children, and we love her dearly and see her often.

They have two half siblings who have been adopted into a different family, and we love getting together with them. I never imagined that an adoption story would add so much wonderful family for us!

When we started on our adoption journey, we naively thought we knew how it would go and what it would look like. We expected some curve balls, but nothing like the ones we’ve been thrown. We ended up playing on an entirely different field, and for that, I wouldn’t change a thing.

God knew exactly what we needed, and what each of our children needed, and He put us together. I’m so thankful.

As the months and years have gone on, I’ve come to understand how adoption almost always begins in tragedy. In a perfect world, children would be raised by the parents that gave them life. The need for adoption comes from living in a messy world where hard things happen and people make mistakes. No matter how wonderful my adopted kid’s lives may turn out, it wasn’t Plan A for them, and they will feel that loss to some degree.

64 November 2015

I share their story carefully and tenderly, because it is theirs, and I want to honor them and their birth parents. I know the day will come when they have questions, and I will have hard answers to give. I hope and pray God will give each of us strength to face those moments and grace to walk together through them.

As we pursued our own adoption, John and I also felt burdened for other orphans in Arkansas and around the world. I serve on the board of Immerse AR, which has focused on children aging out of foster care—a typically underserved and underperforming population. I also helped to organize the inaugural “Walk for the Waiting,” an event in Central AR that raises funds and awareness for Immerse AR, Project Zero, and The CALL, all of which are orphan-care ministries in our state doing great work to help stir the hearts of people towards orphans.

I’m so thankful my eyes have been opened to the needs in our state and around the world. Just in Arkansas, there are approximately 650 children immediately available for adoption. Our state is also in desperate need of foster families to step in and give children a safe place. These are hard jobs, and they require sacrifice, work, and willing hearts—but it is worth it. Each child deserves a home with security and love, and when these things are lacking, the outcome is usually tragic.

As I look back on all that God did to place our twins into our family, I’m overwhelmed and thankful.

We have been given an opportunity to raise these precious little people, and it is amazing. Adoption is a complicated journey with lots of bumps along the way, but I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

www.peekaboonwa.com

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v Meet Harper b y: A s hley C ha s tain

Like many of our closest friends, life hasn’t gone as we had always dreamed of or planned. But we have learned to find the best in what has been given to us.

Hunter and I met through one of his childhood friends and married in September of 2009. Our wedding day could not have been more perfect.

We married in a small chapel with family and close friends, followed by a large celebration at the family farm.

home and pack. He was admitting me for induced labor that night. Labor was quick and easy.

Beautiful, tiny, 5 lb 4 oz Harper Harris Chastain arrived on December 10. We spent four nights in the hospital due to Harper’s small size, but at the time there seemed to be no major issues.

Hunter was born and raised in Rogers and is a 4th generation native. He is currently carrying on his father’s business in sales, along with his brother Grant, and helping run the cattle farm.I took a leap of faith when falling in love with small town in Northwest Arkansas, after many years of dreaming of work in the fashion industry. I ended up working for Walmart as a buyer in 2002.

Professional careers for both me and my husband have been nothing but the best.

The fear of what was, at the time, unknown, really set in when we returned home from the hospital.

This is when the story of our family really began.

I still vividly remember it like it was yesterday. My parents, in town from Ohio, encouraged us to take a nap. I laid in Hunter’s arms, crying, scared to death of the hurt and emptiness that I was feeling.

This was not at all how I had expected to feel now that I was a mother. This was just the beginning of our new life... the life that I will be quick to say has been nothing but perfect, while at the time hurt so, so bad.

Prior to our delayed honeymoon, we started having conversations about adding to our family.

Six weeks later, we discovered the exciting news.

Harper came three weeks earlier than expected, in December of 2010. The pregnancy was perfect, viewed through my naive eyes as a first time mom.

I had very minimal symptoms and little movement or feeling from my baby, due to lower levels of amniotic fluid and inner utero growth restriction.

Our gynecologist, Dr. Cole, (who also delivered Hunter 33 years earlier) had no major concerns until we got closer to 34 or 35 weeks. Around this time, my amniotic fluids got to significantly low levels. At our visit during week 37, he told us to go

68 November 2015

It took Harper the first month, until the week of Christmas, to get back to her birth weight. Then, at about five months, we started an investigation in to her hearlth, knowing that something wasn’t right.

After getting a second opinion by our current pediatrician, Dr. Barry Allen, we were sent to Mercy Hospital for multiple blood work, an MRI, and some additional testing. This eventually led to more specific visits to Arkansas Children’s Hospital and St. Louis Barnes Children’s Hospital, where we met with geneticists and neurologists. After multiple visits and additional tests during Harper’s first three years, we were continuously told, “I

don’t know.” To many, the unknown, or no major diagnosis may be hard, but, over time, we have come to terms with it. We find it a blessing that Harper will continue to create her own definition of life as a child with Global Development Delay.

Harper may catch up, or she may always be behind.

Only time can answer.

nanny, Jennifer, who has been there side by side with us through this journey, loves both Harper and Lake as her own. She works hard to research and find the next best route for Harper, assuring us that everything is going to be okay. She makes our life so much smoother for two working parents; she is family.

There is no book written for a child with Global There is no perfect book written for any mother or Development Delay. The first 18 months of Harper’s father. What I have learned through Harper, our life were some of the darkest times. If it wasn’t for life and even our closest friends who have had to Hunter’s strength and love, along with the positive walk paths none of us would want to, is you can outlook of life instilled in me by my parents, I NEVER compare yourself or your hurt to anyone wouldn’t be where I am today. Although days come else. Everyone’s life and hurt is unique. Even in my and go that are very, very hard and hurt so bad, darkest times, I see this in my own children, and I find peace in knowing that Harper continues to am so thankful I was blessed with our son,Lake hit milestones. Yes, her milestones are significantly Marshall, now 2. delayed. She’s between 12 and 18 months behind our closest friend’s children that are months younger, but she does hit them. Harper “Life is fragile in spends half of her week at multiple therapy more ways than sessions (physical, occupational, speech, one, live it to the development and swimming) and over the last two years she has gone to school to gain fullest, pick your academic acumen to prepare her for life, battles and love!” kindergarten and socialization. We don’t get to spend evenings on the ball field, but rather Ashley at hours of therapy and at Horses for Healing. Chastain Although we wouldn’t change it for anything, especially Harper’s love for horses, it is another unique situation that many would rather not have to do.

You probably look at Harper and think nothing is wrong. Her smile and excitement is said to be contagious. However, if someone looks down and sees that she has braces on her feet and she cannot verbally communicate back to you, one is quick to give me a blank stare. Harper’s Hypertonia (extremities) limit her ability to use her hands and legs as other children her age like running, using steps or simply bending knees and hips to dance.

Her Hypotonia in her core make her work hard on her tummy muscles to allow her to sit up straight, swing on a swing, etc. There are many things all of us take for granted.

We spend many hours and money, more in one year than most will spend in a lifetime. We are always working on the next best thing for Harper, to ensure she will succeed and be independent.

Our best days are the worst days for many others.

I am so grateful for my husband, Hunter, who never skips a beat in saying “Harper is going to be fine.” Harpers therapists and specifically her dance teacher, Taylor Lowell, of Favorite Dance Studio, have challenged Harper, giving her the strength and capabilities some children may never get. Our

TD 1 Preston’s

Story by: Kim Marbury

December 29th, 2013.

A day that will forever stay prevalent in our hearts and minds. This was the day we found out that our 2-year-old son, Preston, had Type 1 Diabetes.

It was mid-December when we noticed that Preston had been drinking a lot more than usual.

He would drink a full sippy cup of water and then ask for another, and then another. He was also soaking through his diapers and pajamas, sometimes twice a night. He wasn’t acting like himself ,and was more lethargic and moody. We watched it for a week or so and, when there were no signs of it getting better, we consulted our family physician. After discussing our concerns with the doctor, we made an appointment for the following Monday, but, over the weekend we decided to check Preston’s blood sugar at home with a kit we bought from the pharmacy.

Sunday, December 29, 2013. We checked Preston’s blood sugar right after he woke up and before he had anything to eat. We fully expected things to be normal, it was just a precaution, but the meter showed a blood glucose level of 296 (normal 80-120). We were in shock. A wave of worry and fear came over us. Was this really happening? Throughout the morning

70 November 2015

his level rose to 354, then 466, then…HIGH. A reading of “high” meant that his blood sugar was over 500. We had been speaking with our doctor throughout the day and at this point he instructed us to go to the ER. We rushed to the emergency room, where we got in right away, no wait. We were so scared and quickly realized that our fears were becoming a reality. The ER staff checked Preston on their meter and it was over 600. Preston also had ketones in his urine and blood. When your body is lacking insulin to break down sugars, it starts breaking down fat and muscle for energy. This causes a buildup of toxic acids, called ketones. The doctor explained to us that Preston had Type 1 Diabetes and he was experiencing diabetic ketoacidosis, a life-threatening condition that has to be treated urgently. Type 1 Diabetes (T1D) is an autoimmune disease in which your immune system attacks the insulin=producing cells in the pancreas until, eventually, it stops working.

No one knows why this occurs, and there is nothing one can do to prevent the disease. Our hearts sank at the news of his diagnosis. Nothing could have prepared us to hear the words, “Your child has Type 1 Diabetes and there is no cure.”

Due to the urgent nature of the situation and Preston’s young age, he was taken by ambulance to Arkansas Children’s Hospital. Despite the

stress of the day, our sweet little Preston was so excited to be riding in an ambulance. He even asked if he could drive it.

When we arrived at the hospital, there were so many blood draws, IV fluids, and finger pricks.

Preston received fluids because his body was dehydrated, as well as an insulin drip to flush out the ketones. Over the next few days, my husband and I received extensive education on how to care for Preston. We learned how to check his blood sugar, how to count carbohydrates in his meals and the amount of insulin needed, how to give injections, how to treat him on sick days, and what to do when his blood sugar is high or low.

We were overwhelmed, to say the least. We even had to take a test on everything we had learned before he could be discharged from the hospital.

I remember leaving the hospital and crying on the way home, so scared that we were now on our own, without the help of nurses. It took some time for everything to sink in and get used to our new way of life, but things quickly became routine. Preston gets his blood sugar checked by finger pricks at least eight times a day, sometimes more.

By this December, we will have pricked Preston’s finger close to 6,000 times.

Preston started out getting multiple injections of insulin daily, but he is now using an insulin pump. He proudly wears his insulin pump in a pouch around his waist.

The pump provides him with his basal insulin (a constant infusion) and bolus (calculated larger amount of insulin) for every meal and his snacks. His pump site and insulin reservoirs are changed out every 3 days.

Type 1 diabetics are solely dependent on insulin; it is their “life support.” Too much or too little insulin

can cause great danger.

Thankfully, Preston has learned to distinguish when his blood sugar is low. When his blood sugar is low (hypoglycemia), he gets shaky and pale. We treat lows with fast-acting sugars, like glucose gel or Smarties candy. We have had just a handful of scary moments when Preston’s blood sugar got way too low. When a diabetic experiences very low blood sugar, they can actually have seizures.

We are blessed to not have experienced this before, and we pray we don’t ever have to. With hyperglycemia (high blood glucose), Preston acts aggressive, is very thirsty and has to urinate more frequently. We treat highs by increasing fluids,

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HE is now our family’s superhero for all he has to endure each and every day.

turning up his insulin rates or giving a bolus of more insulin, and we also have to check his blood or urine for ketones, just to be safe.

Type 1 Diabetes is a disease that you can never control, only manage. It’s been almost two years, and we are still learning. There are so many things that affect his blood sugar. Growth spurts, hard play, sports, seasonal allergies, and even weather changes can affect him in a drastic way. We never leave home without a bag full of diabetic supplies, snacks, and fast-acting sugars to treat hypoglycemia. Meal times are somewhat routine, so that we stay in line with Preston’s insulin rate settings on his pump.

Big changes to our routine can really make his blood sugar go haywire, and Preston’s little body is very sensitive to changes. Meals out or homecooked recipes can be challenging for a diabetic.

Carbohydrate counts are not always available, so we must rely on an app on our phones, or just guess.

Preston can still eat the same foods as any normal kid his age would; however there are times when we have to say no to certain foods or snacks if his blood sugar isn’t in range at the time. We still have cake at birthday parties and trick or treat for Halloween.

Every carbohydrate he eats, no matter the type, is accounted for and insulin is dosed accordingly.

Preston has had to endure so much in just these past two years. He has a good understanding of his condition (as well as a 4-year-old can) and has adapted so well to our routine. He knows his body is different, and he accepts that. He is brave beyond his years and we are so proud of everything he has overcome. Diabetes doesn’t always jive with what Preston wants to do, and many times it’s inconvenient, but Preston’s attitude and character remains happy and positive. When Preston was diagnosed, he was just starting to like superheroes, which was so suitable, because HE is now our family’s superhero for all he has to endure each and every day. He fights a big battle daily. Diabetes never sleeps; it is a 24/7 job and has to be tediously

managed. Watching my child go through all of this has been so hard and emotionally exhausting. I would take it all away from him in an instant if I could. I have had many friends ask, “How do you deal with this every day?” I can honestly say I get through each day with prayer, faith, a wonderful husband, and a lot of coffee! I do my best to remain positive and not let diabetes take over our life together completely. Last December, our family celebrated Preston’s “diaversary,” his one year anniversary since his diagnosis. It was a time for us to reflect over the previous year and celebrate all of the small victories, as well as his bravery and strength. We plan to do this each year.

My husband and I have become very involved with the Northwest Arkansas Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF) chapter. Their mission is to find a cure for diabetes through the support of research. I have been so lucky to have met many other moms with diabetic children, just like me. It’s a blessing to have found this support group of wonderful moms who know exactly what each other is going through. Their outpouring of love and support have truly helped me through these past two years.

November is Diabetes Awareness Month. I am passionate about sharing Preston’s story so that others can learn more about Type 1 diabetes and be aware of the signs and symptoms. We were so lucky to have caught his condition early. I have heard too many sad stories of children being misdiagnosed or diagnosed very late, and in some of these cases, it led to extreme complications, and even death. The symptoms of Type 1 Diabetes are: extreme thirst, frequent urination, drowsiness, sudden weight loss, fruity/sweet breath, and heavy or labored breathing. Parents, do not be afraid to address your concerns with your child’s physician if your child experiences these symptoms. Knowing the warning signs just might save someone’s life!

There is NO cure for type one diabetes, but JDRF works daily to change the harsh reality of this disease for the millions affected by it. We have hope and faith that there will be a cure one day. For now, we do our best to promote awareness, work hard to fundraise for JDRF to aid efforts in finding a cure, and stay positive for our little boy. We hope one day Preston can say, “I used to have diabetes.”

www.peekaboonwa.com

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*Names have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved and we are grateful for their willingness to share their experience

Betty* and Robert* live in Europe in a country where it is not acceptable to have a baby through a surrogate. They have two children already, and wanted a third, but were unable to conceive. While visiting a friend in the United States, they researched options and found Susan through an agency that connects women who want to be surrogates with families who want a baby.

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here are so many decisions to make, big and small, when you are pregnant.

One of the more pressing decisions is where to have your baby. What kind of experience are you seeking? What kind of care will your chosen hospital be able to provide for you?

After all, even though babies are born every day, your pregnancy and your baby are unique!

This is the story of one of those “unique” birthing situations that occurred at Willow Creek Women’s Hospital, and how the staff and physicians helped make it a wonderful experience for everyone involved.

Susan*, a 34-year-old mother of two who resides in Northwest Arkansas, had given birth to each of her children at Willow Creek. She chose Willow Creek again as the best place to have a third baby, but this time it was going to be a bit different, because Susan was carrying the baby as a surrogate.

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Susan, Betty, and Robert first connected via telephone in early 2012, and immediately felt comfortable with each other. It took over two years and four attempts for Susan to become pregnant with Betty and Robert’s baby. It was at times a roller coaster ride of emotions, waiting to see if this time a successful implantation would occur. Last year, Susan did indeed become pregnant!

Willow Creek Women’s Hospital provides 4D ultrasound, so at 28-weeks, Betty and Robert were there with Susan when they found out they were having a baby boy.

“Susan’s OB/GYN, Michael Clouatre, MD, was extraordinarily supportive. We were there for both sonograms and he really did go out of his way to make us feel ‘normal’ and ‘welcomed,’” said Betty.

It was determined that Susan would have a C-section and, of course, there was concern about who would be allowed in the room when the time came. Betty and Robert wanted to be there, but Susan also wanted her mother to be with her for support. “Willow Creek was so accommodating for all of it,” said Susan. “Dr. Clouatre was so sensitive and open and he made sure the Certified Nurse Anesthetist (CRNA) would be open to having people in the room,” Betty added. “The CRNA, Stephanie Kendall, was great because she had a great personality. She was so excited for Betty and Robert, and was a truly caring person,” said Susan.

“We have a dedicated team of clinical staff and physicians who work together to go the extra

mile for each of our patients and their families, no matter how unique their situation may be,” said Juli McWhorter, RN, Chief Nursing Officer for Willow Creek Women’s Hospital.

The “golden hour” is a term which refers to the first hour after birth that the baby bonds with mom and the family. It is a quiet, private time for all to share and bond. The golden hour includes “skin to skin” time, allowing contact between mother and child as well as the father immediately after the baby arrives. The baby is placed on the mother’s chest, skin to skin, to enhance bonding.

Stephanie Dunham, RN, Director of Surgery and C-Sections at Willow Creek, also explained about the golden hour, and said the natural transition from delivery to mom after a C-Section provides a more peaceful change for baby and mother alike and allows for more successful breast feeding.

“Instead of being whisked away after a C-Section while the mother is taken to the Post Anesthesia Care Unit (PACU), the baby goes with the birth mom now, because we see babies nursing from mom as early as in the PACU,” Dunham explained.

In the case of Susan, Betty, and Robert, however, the baby went with Betty and Robert, his parents, to their private room where they could be together.

“The nurse handed him to me after she cut the umbilical cord and then to my husband, too. It felt like miracles are truly possible,” explained Betty. “The hospital gave us a room where we stayed overnight and… more importantly, we could have our golden hour.”

While Betty and Robert enjoyed their golden hour with their new baby boy, Susan was recovering in the PACU. “I don’t know how busy the staff was that day, but it didn’t feel like they were.

Anytime I needed anything, they were extremely accommodating,” said Susan.

And then, Susan was able to arrange and throw a baby shower for Betty and Robert right there in her hospital room the day after the baby was born (since he went home with Betty and Robert that same day). It was a way for them all to be

together and for family and friends to see him because, “Now we are family,” Susan said. “My family, friends and church members supported me along the way and prayed very hard for this whole process. It was God’s will to have this baby and we all feel so blessed to be a part of it!” she added.

Betty explained, “The hospital chaplin who took care of us showed incredible sensitivity. She made sure that the staff was on board and everything went smoothly.”

“The hospital was so much a part of the experience.

It was a beacon of acceptance and gentle attention.

We feel so much gratitude and, of course, since we live in Europe, it’s a great opportunity to explain to people what healthcare is like in Arkansas!

So much beyond standard Euro care! We were definitely treated with kid gloves,” Betty added.

Northwest Health System’s Willow Creek Women’s Hospital is a place for all kinds of births. The only dedicated women’s hospital in the region serving the healthcare needs of women as well as providing a Level III NICU, Willow Creek is a special place for every special delivery; each and every one unique.

Special thanks to Dr. Michael Clouatre, Dr. Stephanie Kendall, Juli McWhorter, CNO and Stephanie Dunham, Director of Surgery and C-Sections for their part in these families’ experience and in the writing of this story.

Calming Fear

by Kelly Krout

My favorite adoption question is, “Where is he from?”

People are expecting some exotic international adoption story from somewhere in Latin America. “Right here in Rogers!” is my answer, and I love how it opens the door to talk about foster care.

At any given moment in NWA, there are about 450 kids in care, and only 180 homes. The desperate need is what drew us to foster care. There just simply aren’t enough homes, and these are kids in our backyards and in our kids’ classes at school. I just didn’t know they were there before, and once you know, you know. So, we jumped right in.

We trained through The CALL, a local nonprofit that recruits, trains and supports foster homes.

Despite our great training, we went into foster care fairly naive.

We learned about the problems that kids who were in care might

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have, but we arrogantly thought we knew what we were doing.

We would love them, give them a safe and secure place and consistent rules, and they would be fine! Why would a kid have issues if basic needs were met?

We had a total of six children come and go in our short season of fostering. We had intended to just stay as an open foster home, but Joe has been mixing things up since the first night he came to us. We took Joe in on January 3, 2012. At the time, we had a teen girl placement, plus our three biological boys, ages 6, 4, and 2. My husband, Kevin, had taken our teen to visit her sister out of town, and Joe was there with me when they came back.

Surprise!

Joe was just a few months younger than our youngest boy.

He clung to me immediately, and was terrified of Kevin. For months and months he screamed when Kevin came home from work. He would follow me room to room, and if Kevin walked in, Joe was hiding behind me immediately.

Kevin was so gentle and kind, and slowly, slowly Joe warmed up to him.... well, until he would get a haircut, and they would have to start from scratch.

I have a video of Kevin wearing a hat and holding Joe, and then he takes the hat off and Joe runs away screaming. He puts the hat back on, and Joe is fine again. It was a long year, and, honestly, a lot of it is a blur of therapies, doctor appointments, and plenty of crying. But, we truly thought that once he was over his fear of Kevin, we wouldn’t deal with that type of thing anymore.

His parents’ rights were terminated early on, and his adoption was finalized in December of 2012 when he was two-and-a-half. That same day, we found out we were pregnant again. So, we closed our home because we would be out of space soon. Besides, Joe was still having fairly significant struggles leading up to adoption, and we thought they would settle down post-adoption with some time as a closed home.

We began to realize, around the time Joe hit four, that our parenting wasn’t working at best, and was completely backfiring at worst. Joe would make some progress, and then take what felt like major steps back. The meltdowns and behaviors were increasing in frequency and intensity. I felt like I was failing him more than he was failed in

the first place. People would say about him, “Oh, that’s a typical 4-year-old boy for ya!” And I would think, “Um, this isn’t my first 4-year-old boy, and NO, it isn’t!”

I remember just desperately praying for direction. I felt like God had led us to this point of adopting, but now we just had no idea how to help. I had always wanted to adopt. Why was this so hard?! I ran across a verse one day that really spoke to me, Proverbs 19:2, “Desire without knowledge is not good.

Whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way.” It jumped right off of the page because my desire to adopt and to help was so strong, but I was clueless.

So, I began to pour myself into learning more about the impact of childhood trauma. I started to understand very quickly that Joe was just a scared little boy who was trying to survive.

The more I learned, the more I began to realize that Joe

was operating out of fear the majority of the time. I learned that simple things like a facial expression or body language can be intimidating to a traumatized kid. Tone of voice could put him over the edge. Certainly any kind of physical punishment, even just to witness another kid receiving, was way too intense. I thought he was just a hyper kid before, but it was more than that-he was hyper-vigilant. Hyper-

vigilance is a fear-based sensory response where your body is always scanning for threats.

He was always seeking some kind of input to stay on alert.

For instance, I would rock him to sleep and he would kick his foot over and over, desperately trying to stay awake. He was never, ever still. Being hypervigilant is exhausting, and he would get easily overwhelmed.

Turn the page ...

Our faith has had a huge impact on our entire foster and adopting journey. We felt it was God’s mandate in the first place to care for these kids.

Sixth and Burnside Photography

He had chronic tummy issues. There were triggers that sent him into meltdowns... some predictable, some not. Doctors, emergency vehicles, certain foods, haircuts, even particular people seemed to remind him of something he was afraid of. Or sometimes he could LOOK cool as a cucumber, but I’d put my hand on his chest and his heart would be beating out of control. One of the more surprising fear responses was (is) his charm, and he can still lay it on thick. Those ridiculously long lashes he bats at you are saying, “If you like me, maybe you won’t hurt me.”

People are always saying to us, “Oh, you got him so young! You’re so lucky, he won’t remember a thing.” Oh, how I desperately wish they were right. He may not have a verbal memory for his abuse, but the body remembers being afraid.

And as it turns out, a safe, loving family with consistent rules doesn’t just “undo” that.

There’s no learning or correcting happening for him if he’s on high alert.

That fight, flight or freeze response is no joke. This is part of why we weren’t seeing much progress with him. He would do something disobedient, and we would try to correct it, but we were being too intimidating without realizing it. Then, he would get scared and go into survival mode, and miss the entire “lesson.” So, when he would do it again 10 minutes later, we were more frustrated, perpetuating that cycle. His fear response was drastically impairing his ability to understand cause and effect.

We decided that if we had a shot at helping him, we would have to change a lot. Making him feel safe has become one of our main goals. Paying attention to how my voice sounds and what my face is doing as I correct my children has been challenging! My ‘mom stink eye’ wasn’t doing me any favors. When I see that he’s nervous or upset, the goal has to change to calming him down first. For example, often something like, “Hey, go grab your shoes! We have to go!” can go downhill really quickly. He immediately will be asking where we’re going, why, who will be there, and, “Are we coming back?!” So, as you can imagine, he’s sure not grabbing his shoes. We have to stop, calm down, take a few deep breaths. Let him know what’s going on so we can get

moving. But, there’s a fine balance of too much versus just enough information.

If he always knows what is happening next, it is too difficult for him to enjoy what we’re doing right then.

The anxiety of “What’s next?

What’s after that?” is a lot for him. I try to give him five minute warnings so he’s prepared. Still, knowing something too far in advance just stresses him out, which has a way of stressing me out. If our normal routine is thrown off and I can tell he’s getting worked up, we’ll take a deep breath and literally practice saying, “I can go with the flow.”

He has come a long way, and helping him learn to recognize his anxiety and how to respond calmly has been a big part of that process.

Those anxiety induced behaviors still pop up often, but he’s beginning to be able to tell when he needs to take a break to calm down and get regulated.

I’ve had a massive amount of help. From occupational therapists, play therapists, going to therapy myself (can I get an Amen?), support through The CALL, and a lot of reading from the pros who have spent their lives studying kids like Joe. My favorite book that I recommend to anyone considering fostering or adopting is “The

Connected Child,” Karyn Purvis.

by

Our faith has had a huge impact on our entire foster and adopting journey. We felt it was God’s mandate in the first place to care for these kids. As we got further into trying to make Joe feel safer by ditching some of our older methods, a thought occurred to me.

We had often joked about wanting our kids to have a “healthy fear” of us. We’ve probably all used the tried and true, “Just wait ‘til your daddy gets home!” But I felt like God was saying to me, “I don’t want you to obey me because you’re afraid of me. I want you to obey me because you love and trust me.” Promoting fear in them cannot also be producing trust, especially for a kid from a hard background.

God is using this boy to stretch me into the person He wants me to be. I thought we were going into fostering to change the lives of kids, but God has used it to change us for the better too. When Joe has hard days and I feel drained, I’m reminded of all of the fits I’ve thrown and how God loves me and keeps pursuing me anyway. I’m so thankful He lets us be part of redemption, even when we are know-it-alls!

www.peekaboonwa.com

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MiMilesletos by: Nate and Kristin Piston

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od started writing our adoption story long before our son, Miles, entered the picture.

Four years ago, like most young married couples, we decided to start our family. We got pregnant easily, and the daydreaming of the future started right away. Unfortunately, we lost our first pregnancy only a week after finding out our baby existed. Doctors told us things were fine, that miscarriages happen all the time, and we would go on to have a successful pregnancy. However, we would soon learn the hard way that we were that .01 percent of the population that suffers from unexplained recurrent pregnancy loss. The next few years were spent grieving losses, seeing seven doctors in four states, and spending more money than we had trying to find out what was wrong and how to fix it.

It was hard. VERY hard. Our faith was tested time and time again. We will never know why God has not chosen to save our babies, but we do know one thing: He is and has been our constant comfort and truth through every tear shed. The last four years of losses have taught us that God is good ALL the time, even in the tough and unexplainable circumstances. It has been a long road of learning and leaning into God through the sufferings and joys of life.

In 2013, we decided to shift our focus from what we desired, to what God desired. We spent concentrated time praying and praying that God would reveal to us his desire for growing our family. We were tired and worn out attempting to control the outcome of our family, and wanted

Jennifer banz photography

to fully surrender our desire for parenthood over to God’s will for our life, no matter what that looked like. Slowly, we started to feel that maybe we were supposed to adopt. We had several years of different seeds of adoption being planted in our life and felt that maybe we weren’t supposed to ignore these signs! From my husband Nate, who was also adopted at birth, meeting his biological mother, to somehow coming in contact with several adoptive families, the overall feeling was that God was calling us to move in the adoption or foster care direction.

We started taking steps to be “adoption ready,” and the mounds of paperwork began. We researched everything about it and quickly realized that people who say, “Why don’t you just adopt?” literally have no idea how difficult and consuming it is! It is overwhelming, and the process can be daunting at times.

Once our home study was complete and sent off to our attorney, we decided to move on with life and not wait around for “the call.” After all, we didn’t even know if this was in God’s plan for our life, and didn’t want to get excited about something that might not happen. In August of 2014, we started discussing our family future again and started to wonder if we should open our home to foster children. We started to take the necessary steps for this when we suddenly found out that we wouldn’t be able to be active for adoption with our attorney and move forward with foster care. We had to pick one path. We were so confused and not sure what to do. Since we had not heard anything from our

attorney in almost eight months, we decided to pull our name off the waitlist and move forward with foster care.

Well, God had other plans, and he made that very clear! On September 21, 2014, one day before we were set to mail off our foster care paperwork and call our attorney to withdraw our name, we received THE call. We were in shock to say the least! Just 24 hours shy of taking our names off the list, we were chosen! Suddenly, memories from the last five years flooded our minds. The journey. The heartache. The loss. The desire. The intense praying and waiting.

That night, we got to hear every intricate detail of the beginning of our son’s adoption story. Among other things, we learned he was a boy, due in January, and was of Marshallese decent. We were soaking in every piece of information as the fear and excitement of the future was starting to set in. We took a few days to pray about this baby boy and on September 25th, we accepted the match to become his parents!

I wish we could express the joy and hope we felt inside, but it isn’t possible. My first thought after getting off the phone the night we were matched was, “HE HEARS ME!” Many of you know what it is like to be praying and crying out to the Lord about a specific desire and pain for years and years with no answer. I watched God work wonders in the lives around me and through and in me, but at the end of the day, when I laid my head on my pillow, the one thing that kept rolling through my brain was why he had not answered our desire for children. I wondered if he truly heard me.

I know the foundational truth is- He always hears us. But when every loss and year passes by and your heart is left battered and confused, it is only human nature to wonder if He actually hears us. It has always been the clinging to of HIS hope that kept us going when every bone in my body wanted to give up.

The next four months after our match were nothing short of a miracle. We watched as God showed us his provision week after week. It is no secret that adoption is expensive and we had the same fears many adoptive families have: how are we going to afford this? We were amazed and overwhelmed to see how God provided every penny we needed at the exact time we needed it. We are eternally grateful for the community that surrounded us and the hundreds of people who played a part in bringing Miles into our family.

On January 15, 2015 at 8:04 AM, our beautiful island baby, Miles Ezra Piston, was born into this world. We couldn’t believe our long-awaited son was finally here. Still though, we wanted to protect our hearts, knowing that we still had the legal waiting period before he could be officially ours.

When discussing names, it was a no-brainer. Our journey was and has been long. We have walked through miles and miles of tears, searching, praying, and waiting to get to our son. We knew that Miles was the perfect name, indicative of our journey and a reminder of God’s continual provision over our life. On January 22, we stood in court and celebrated Miles legally joining our family. It was a day

we will never forget, and we both felt a huge sigh of relief that we could finally start living life as a family of three!

In the last nine months, Miles has brought us more joy than we could ever possibly imagine. He is the light of our life and a daily reminder of God’s goodness through the hardships we’ve faced. He is everything we didn’t know we needed, and we can’t possibly imagine life without him. Not a day goes by that I don’t thank God for our precious son!

InMilethse haslast br9oughtmonthsus, moreveer posjoysibthlany imweagincoule. d He is the light of our life and a daily reminder of God’s goodness through the hardships we’ve faced.

He has rocked our world in the best way possible, made me more tired than I’ve ever been, and melts me daily into a blubbery mess of love. Miles is active, tender, smiley, and brings joy to every person he meets. I believe God has big plans for Miles’ life and we are so excited to see how his adoption story continues to expand in the future. We are grateful that Nate and Miles will be able to share a special bond over being adopted. What a gift it is for the two of them to share in the journey together!

We don’t know what the future holds for us as an adoptive family or what difficulties Miles will face as he grows up, but we do know a few things: God is a good and gracious God that we can trust every single step of the way. Our symbol and theme for Miles nursery was centered around an anchor. Hebrews 6:19 says that “ We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm & secure” Our hope is not put to shame in Christ, and I want to look at my beautiful son every day, knowing that as long as my soul is anchored in the Lord, I can trust in his plan for our future. For now, we are living each day soaking up the gift and miracle of Miles Ezra Piston and looking forward to what the future holds in how God chooses to grow our family again.

DBI Notes “Anyone who ever wondered how much they could love a child who did not spring from their own loins, know this: it is the same. The feeling of love is so profound, it’s incredible and surprising.”

–Nia Vardalos

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his is my most favorite quote about adoption because it addresses the concern that I think many prospective parents feel when they are considering adoption. It seems that adoption is one of those things that so many people like the idea of but very few have the conviction of courage of follow through. I also believe, having now talked to so many people who have adopted, that it is one of the most positively life changing decisions anyone can make. It seems that the overwhelming experience of adopting parents is that they have gained so much more from adoption than they have ever given.

At DBI it is our privilege to serve our local families every day. We do this by bringing joyful experiences to our community for all of our families and friends. So this month, whether you have home grown or hand-picked children or even a wonderful mix of both, we hope that you will join us for Toyland at our last First Friday for 2015 and also some of our upcoming Winter Wonderland festivities.

There is nothing quite like Arkansas seasonal activities to build incredible family memories!

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Upcoming N

Toyland November 6th 11am - 8pm Local vendors showcase their products alongside amazing activities and surprises for kids. If you want to win parent of the year, bring your kids to check out the seasons most popular toys!

Winter Market November 21st 11am – 5pm Don’t miss this opportunity to purchase unique holiday gifts. Whether you are looking for some sweet treats to share or a special craft for a beloved family member we promise you will be delighted!

November Events...

Lighting of the Square November 21st 6pm This marks the beginning of the holiday season. Wrap up warm and come celebrate with other families to enjoy live music, steaming hot chocolate and the beautiful lights.

Play It Forward Concerts for the Community November 21st 6:30pm Once a month the Walmart Museum hosts a community concert with their Play It Forward series. This month you can enjoy folk and bluegrass with Smokey & The Mirror. The show starts at 6:30pm in the Walmart World Room. Tickets are only $5 with proceeds benefiting TheatreSquared.

Doors will open at 6pm.

Notes at Night November 28th 6:30pm – 8:30pm Come to Table Mesa Bistro for a delicious dinner and live music with the nationally renowned and very talented, Randall Shreve.

Small Business Saturday November 28th 10am – 6pm Support our downtown businesses with a festive shopping experience. Buy local and enjoy treats sponsored by our appreciative small stores.

spa810

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by Addi Simmons

pon first walking in to spa810 in Rogers, something magical happens. Immediately, your shoulders become more relaxed, your mind becomes free, and stress seems to temporarily melt away. Maybe it’s the calming music, the soft, friendly voices of the staff, or just the knowledge that you’re about to be completely pampered, in your own little world, free of all the day’s normal distractions.

Although the spa is luxurious, the pricing for the services is actually affordable. “spa810 does a lot of research to make sure you’re getting the best products and services available while keeping the spa810 experience accessible,” owner, Chastity Bennicoff said. “You may be able to get similar services elsewhere in town, but not at the value spa810 offers.” Mentioning value is something almost unheard of in the spa industry, but that’s just one of the many things spa810 does differently.

The number one difference, according to Bennicoff, is going above and beyond basic services by adding enhancements at no additional cost. “Little things you would normally pay extra for - aromatherapy, deep tissue massage, hot towel treatments - are all included as part of your spa810 experience. In addition, our signature massage service includes a complimentary sugar foot scrub, and a beauty facial includes a complimentary lip or brow wax.”

With that in mind, there are many different facials to choose from at spa810, and the estheticians help make the decision easy by giving the customer a quick skin consultation at the beginning of each appointment. The facial masques are made with potent, high-quality ingredients from brands that are available for purchase in the store. Ranging from all natural, to science-based, or a mix of both, the products are almost as popular as the services themselves.

The facial room in and of itself is impressive since you have the opportunity to receive your service reclined in a zero-gravity facial capsule.

Affectionately known as “the pod,” the bed features a dry sauna, vibrating massage, and aromatherapy.

A mere twenty minutes in ‘the pod” is equal to an hour of rest, which only enhances the relaxing experience.

To enhance the effectiveness of their treatments, clients have the option of adding services such as

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microdermabrasion, micro-current facial lifting, dermaplaning, or chemical peels, all of which either remove fine lines and discoloration, exfoliate the skin, or both. spa810 offers memberships designed to save clients’ money, especially on bigger services, such as laser hair removal and near infra-red skin tightening. There are multiple packages to fit your needs, and all membership packages come with exclusive benefits.

Laser hair removal is one of spa810’s most popular services, and effectively reduces unwanted body hair by up to 90%. spa810 uses the latest in laser hair removal technology - the Alma, Soprono Ice Laser. This Alma laser works on all skin and hair types (excluding grey and white hair). The best part of this particular laser is that it is virtually pain-free - all guests receive a complimentary small area laser treatment to see for themselves. spa810’s laser packages include 6 treatments and 2

“

It’s an exciting business to be in because we help people relax, manage stress, and feel better about themselves.

”

touch ups, which are preformed every four weeks on the same area. The additional 2 treatments can be used at any time, in the case a few pesky hairs return. The “810â€? in “spa810â€? actually comes from the type Lace shirt and dress extenders just in! Also in black đ&#x;˜? Sâ–ŞMâ–ŞL $23.95! ‪#‎lace‏ ‪#‎extenders‏ ‪#‎bellasgifts‏ Bella’s Gifts’s photo.

Like Comment Share Bella’s Gifts at Bella’s Gifts Yesterday at 3:31pm ¡ Chase away the Mondays with new booties!

Only $15.95! ‪#‎peeptoe‏ ‪#‎booties‏ ‪#‎newshoesmakeeverythingbetter‏ đ&#x;‘ž ‪#‎bellasgifts‏ Bella’s Gifts’s photo.

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Girls Night Out Peekaboo Pick

ast month I got to be a part of a girls night out that will go down in the memory books as one of my favorites.

Take seven friends, food from Roma in Rogers, and a combination of services from spa810 and it is the perfect recipe for a relaxing bonding evening out.

Like Comment Share 4 people like this.

Comments Kimberly Whitaker-Enderle Write a comment...

Bella’s Gifts at Bella’s Gifts October 23 at 11:01am ¡ Sale!! 20% off all Halloween and fall items! ‪#‎sale‏ ‪#‎bellasgifts‏ Bella’s Gifts’s photo. of laser the company uses and the frequency on which it’s set. The laser also has a proven safety record.

In addition to laser hair removal services and beauty facials, spa810’s massage packages are also top-notch. Services can be 50 minutes, 80 minutes, or 110 minutes and guests can choose to enhance their experience with hot stones, a coconut oil scalp massage, or a migraine-relieving cold stone facial massage.

Originally an elementary schoolteacher before

( ) I usually post a phot o from the girls nigh but I promised the ladies I wouldn’t publisht group of them in a robe. So, I bore the embarrassma phot o alone because I couldn’t pass up an opportu ent show off a pict ure wit h the super sweet ownnity to er great girls night hose Chastit y Bennicoff!and

Each girl was given a cozy robe and a glass of champagne on arrival as well as a personalized schedule of services for the evening that included laser hair removal, massage, facial, and lots of laughs and conversation good for the soul.

It was a great night that we left with a fresh face, relaxed neck and shoulders, and a new favorite girls night out hot spot that we are already planning the next one for!

If you would like to schedule your next fun girls night out call 479-877-7024 or visit www.spa810laserskinmassage.com

At a Glance

To advertise and become a part of the Peekaboo Family email : editor@peekaboonwa.com

At a Glance ARTS and MUSIC

Crystal Bridges (Pg. 29)

(479) 418-5700 crystalbridges.org

SoNA Symphony of NWA (Pg. 39)

(479) 443-5600 sonamusic.org

Trike Theatre (Pg. 35)

(479) 464-5084 triketheatre.org

Walton Arts Center (Pg. 84) waltonartscenter.org

BANKS

First Security (Pg. 33) www.fsbank.com; www.onlyinark.com

CHILDCARE/NANNY SERVICES

ABC Happy Kids Learning Academy (Pg. 73) (479) 202-5691 abchappykids.com Better Beginnings (Pg. 41, 91) (800) 445-3316 arbetterbeginnings.com Bright Haven (Pg. 65) (479) 717-2344 brighthavenshines.com Mary’s Little Lambs Preschool (Pg. 27) (479) 273-1011

CHIROPRACTIC PHYSICIAN Morter Health Corner (Pg. 37)

(479) 636-1324

CLOTHING

Belle Bouti que (Pg. 24-5) shopbelleboutique.com

DANCE/CHEER/TUMBLE/STRETCH

The Little Gym (Pg. 65) (479) 636-5566 tlgrogersar.com

DENTIST

Advanced Dermatology & Skin Care (Pg. 35) (479) 268-3555 Dr. Nick DDS (Pg. 94) (479) 876-8000 DrNickDDS.com Smile Shoppe Pediatric Dentistry (Pg. 12) (479) 631-6377

DERMATOLOGY

NWA Center for Plastic Surgery (Pg. 2) (479) 571-3100 nwacenterforplasticsurgery.com spa810 (Pg. 53) (479) 877-7041

EDUCATION/TRAINING

The Elizabeth Richardson Center (Pg. 47)

(479) 441-4420 (Fayetteville)

Larson’s Language Center (Pg. 49) larsonslanguagecenter.com

The New School (Pg. 50) thenewschool.org

Ozark Education, Inc. (Pg. 85) ozarkcca.org

92 November 2015

Ozark Natural Science Centter (Pg. 19) (479) 387-0701 onsc.us Walnut Farm Montessori (Pg. 95) (479) 271-9424 walnutfarmmontessori.com

FAMILY FUN / ENTERTAINMENT

Crystal Bridges (Pg. 29)

(479) 418-5700

Farmland Adventures (Pg. 59)

(479) 799-5033 farmlandadventures.com

Fast Lane Entertainment (Pg. 67)

(479) 659-0999 www.fastlanebowl.com

Imagine Adventure World (Pg. 69)

imagineadventureworld.com

Little Giggles (Pg. 73)

(479) 268-4949

Ozark Natural Science Centter (Pg. 19)

(479) 387-0701 onsc.us

Princess Party Palace NWA (Pg. 20)

princesspartypalacenwa.com

Starlight Skatium (Pg. 39)

(479) 444-STAR

Super Science (Pg. 55)

(479) 444-0303 www.super-sci.com

Trike Theatre (Pg. 35)

(479) 464-5084 www.triketheatre.org

Walton Arts Center (Pg. 84) waltonartscenter.org

FITNESS

FreeRide Studio (Pg. 81) (479) 802-6245

FOOD / DRINK

TCBY (Pg. 3) (479) 636-8229 (TCBY)

HAIRCUT / SALON

Pigtails & Crewcuts (Pg. 4)

(479) 935-4121 spa810 (Pg. 59) (479) 877-7041

HEALTH AND WELLNESS

Northwest Primary Care of Springdale (Pg. 13) nw-physicians.com

Tate HealthCare (Pg. 71, 93)

(479) 271-6511 www.tatehealthcare.com

HOUSE / HOME / PLAYGROUND

Natural State Treehouses (Pg. 15)

(479) 387-0701

JEWELRY AND GIFTS

David Adams (Pg. 79) davidadams.com

LAW

Adoption Arkansas Law Firm (Pg. 96) myadoptionarkansas.com

LEARNING CENTER

ABC Happy Kids Learning Academy (Pg. 73) (479) 621-6126 www.abchappykids.com The Elizabeth Richardson Center (Pg. 47) (479) 441-4420 (Fayetteville) Peace Kids (Pg. 76) (479) 621-5683

MARTIAL ARTS

ATA (Pg. 8)

Bentonville: (479) 273-1212 Fayetteville: (479) 443-5425 PRO Martial Arts (Pg. 57) (479) 250-9899

OPTOMETRIST

Pediatric Vision Development Center (Pg. 43) nwavisiontherapy.com (479) 795-1411

PEDIATRICIAN

Best Start Pediatric Clinic (Pg. 17) (479) 575-9359 Bentonville Pediatric Clinic (Pg. 75) (479) 273-5437 The Children’s Clinic at Springdale (Pg. 9) (479) 751-2522 Morter Heatlh Corner (Pg. 37) (479) 636-1324 Northwest Pediatric Convenient Care (Pg. 11) NW-Physicians.com NWA Pediatric Clinic (Pg. 66) (479) 443-3471

PLASTIC SURGEON

NWA Center for Plastic Surgery (Pg. 2)

(479) 571-3100 www.nwacenterforplasticsurgery.com

PRESCHOOL/ PRE-K

ABC Happy Kids Learning Academy (Pg. 73)

(479) 621-6126 www.abchappykids.com

The Elizabeth Richardson Center (Pg. 47)

(479) 441-4420 (Fayetteville)

Friendship Pediatric Services (Pg. 56)

Lowell: (479) 770-0744

Siloam Springs: (479) 524-2465

West Fork: (479) 839-3359

Mary’s Little Lambs (Pg. 27)

(479) 273-1011

The New School (Pg. 50) thenewschool.org

Peace Kids (Pg. 76)

(479) 621-5683

Walnut Farm Montessori (Pg. 95)

(479) 271-9424 walnutfarmmontessori.com

THERAPY

ABC Happy Kids Learning Academy (Pg. 73) (479) 621-6126 www.abchappykids.com Children’s Therapy T.E.A.M (Pg. 61)

www.childrenstherapyteam.com

The Elizabeth Richardson Center (Pg. 47)

(479) 441-4420 (Fayetteville)

Friendship Pediatric Services (Pg. 56)

Lowell: (479) 770-0744

Siloam Springs: (479) 524-2465

West Fork: (479) 839-3359

Tate HealthCare (Pg. 71, 93)

(479) 271-6511

TOYS

Dilly Dally’s (Pg. 24-25) www.dillydallys.com

WOMEN’S HEALTH

Birth Center NWA (Pg. 32) (479) 372-4560 bcnwa.com Lifespring Women’s Health (Pg. 81) (479) 271-0005 lifespringhealthcare.com Morter Health Corner (Pg. 37) (479) 636-1324 Northwest Medical Center -Bentonville (Pg. 21) (479) 553-4100 Northwest Primary Care of Springdale (Pg. 13) (479) 927-2100 Northwest Women’s Health Associates (Pg. 7) (479) 503-2525 Parkhill Clinic for Women (Pg. 63) (479) 521-4433 Siloam Springs Women’s Center (Pg. 51) (479) 524-9312 siloamwomenscenter.com Willow Creek Hospital (Pg. 5, 21) (479) 757-3000

1-Visit Technology

Dr. Nick uses the latest technology to make your visit a gentle experience. He is a leader in dental CEREC CAD/CAM Technology and 3D imaging, allowing beautiful solutions in a single visit.

Experience. Discover. Grow.

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Walnut Farm Montessori School Building a Foundation for Growth

Montessori Toddler Program 18 months-3 years old Walnut Farm offers flexible 2, 3, and 5 day toddler programs available in half day and full day options.​

• Well prepared, peaceful environments that support learning and development • Dedicated, nurturing, trained teachers • Developmentally appropriate curriculum that fosters cognitive development, speech and language development, fine and gross motor skill enhancement • Nutritious meals prepared onsite daily for full day students • Before and after school programs offered Walnut Farm Montessori School is the first and only school accredited by the American Montessori Society in the State of Arkansas and the first school to offer a natural playscape environment for exercise and exploration. Our school provides an authentic Montessori education for children ages 18 months to 12 years.

Enrolling Now

Contact us today to schedule your tour of our enriching toddler program

479-271-9424 • info@walnutfarm.org

www.walnutfarmmontessori.com