Becoming Magazine

bec ming.

OCT/NOV2019

words WITH KYTIA L'AMOUR

5 Easy Steps to Begin Investing

Ladies, BeStrong

WhatGood MenWant

girl boss.

Joeranda Braynen

contributors Oct/Nov 2019

LashantĂŠ Stubbs Bachelor of Science, Biochemistry Bachelor of Medicine Founder of Pearls Empowerment Founder & Editor of Becoming Magazine Medical Student

Chryshawnda Adams Founder of Queendom Living

Lucy Wanjiru Blogger Founder of One Grateful Leper

Keehnan Parks-Camacho

Founder of Energy-Zone (E-Z) Fitness Blogger

contributors Oct/Nov 2019

Scharlee Thompson

Christna Stubbs

Law Student Blogger

Bachelor of Arts, English Studies Graduate Student Blogger

Trenae Miller

Bachelors, Tourism & Hospitality Management Mother

Bachelor of Science, Biology MS3

Kytia L'amour Youtuber Mother Wife

Pyria Simmons

from the editor

" Don't lose hope, don't give up, be brave- be strong."

MÂ

ost women would consider themselves to be a "strong woman".

But what exactly does it takes to be strong? It takes faith, it takes sacrifice, it takes doing things that you may not necessarily feel like doing. Strong women are familiar with pain, they are no strangers to adversity, but still they manage to overcome; to come out on the other end wiser, more resilientmore courageous.

If you're walking through a hard season right now, I want to remind you of who you are- a strong woman. What you're going through now is temporary. What you will be after and what you will learn is priceless. So, continue pressing on, continue taking life one day at a time. It is my hope that this issue of the magazine empowers you and rekindles that spark of strength that may be dwindling within you. Don't lose hope, don't give up, be brave- be strong.

XOXO, L. Stubbs

"...shine like lights in a dark world."

-Philippians 2:15

6| Oct/ Nov 2019

Founder, Pearls Empowerment

contents Oct /Nov 2019

for your spirit

Ladies, Be Strong p.26

Words with Kytia L'amour p.53

for your body

Eggplant Parmesan p. 31

E-Z Fitness p. 110

for your soul

Letters From Lucy p. 45

GirlBoss: Joeranda Braynen p. 81

Wanderlust: Trinidad & Tobago p.32

I am Strong p. 21

sun T H E

W I L L

shine A G A I N

10| Oct/ Nov 2019

P R Y I A

S I M M O N S

MELANIN I N

M E D I C I N E

“Wherever the art of Medicine is loved, there is also a love of Humanity.” ― Hippocrates

I

am often asked why I chose to pursue medicine. Honestly, during the beginning stages of my medical school journey, I often asked myself the same question. Before elaborating on the beautiful nightmare called medicine, I'll start by saying I was hesitant to even apply to medical school as I knew it was something that required me to be 100% sure on whether or not I wanted to be a doctor. At that time, while considering applying to medical school, I was only about 80% sure.

Then, all of a sudden, my world changed in the blink of an eye. I lost my dear brother in a fatal car accident. I truly believe that if he had access to proper health care, it would have saved his life. Due to this tragedy, I became 100% sure that I wanted to and would do everything, with God’s help and strength, to become a doctor.

I wanted to be in a position to help save a life, so I decided to take the United States Medical School system route and applied to a US Caribbean Medical School called The University of Medicine and Health Sciences. There, I began my medical journey and passed my first US medical license exam known as STEP 1.

My first two years of medical school has been two of the most trying years of my life. I have had a tough time physically, emotionally and mentally. There were many times when I felt like giving up. In fact, I watched many of my peers cry and gave up. These are the times when I relied on God and my support system- family and friends. My mom’s words to me during these trying times were “If others can do it, you can do it too.” From a far glance, many may think you have to be really smart to become a doctor.

"Many think you have to be really smart to become a doctor... ... I realized that it takes hard work, persistence and discipline to be successful. ― Pryia Simmons

I can admit that I felt that way too, but while in the field of medicine I realized that it takes hard work, persistence and discipline to be successful. I never thought I was even capable of reaching this far, to my third year of medical school, but I did.

It is so easy to become caught up with studying and forgetting that there is a life out there to be lived. In efforts to remain sane, you have to find that balance between work and fun. I completed my first two years in St. Kitts before moving to the US, where there were very limited options of fun things to do.

Therefore, I became more active around school and in various communities. I joined many organizations in school and participated in health fairs, went on medical mission trips to different countries, did a lot of volunteer work and just had fun while learning and helping others. This is how I learned to “kill two birds with one stone.�

My advice to anyone who wants to become a doctor is, you can. The recipe for success requires one to be disciplined, passionate, proactive and willing. Medicine may not promise you many days filled with sunny blue skies, but the many lives you will impact will help you dance in the rain.

I am Pryia Simmons and this is my journey to that MD.Â

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Our brand ambassadors are representing the magazine all around the world. For more information on how to become a brand ambassador, and the perks of being a brand ambassador, visit our website at www.becomingmagazine.org

15 | Oct/ Nov 2019

teatime WITH

MISS

A

M I S S

A ,

I've been dating an amazing guy for over 1 year and recently things have gotten HARD. I really care for him, but I'm not sure if I should stick it out or call it quits! Please help.

For starters, you should take a moment and give thanks for such a blessing. There are so many women longing for a decent man. Stop and give thanks to God that you have a guy in your life that you can deem as "amazing".

Now onto your question, "Should you stick it out, or should you call it quits?" This is honestly not my question to answer. You actually know the guy and I don't. You know every detail about your situation and I don't. So, I can't even begin to tell you if you should leave or if you should stay. However, what I can offer are some tips that may help you to make the best decision.

First and foremost, you have to decide if what is "hard" about your relationship is something you both are willing to work through.

"...are you both willing to work through it?"

Communication AND understanding each other

is

key

to

any

healthy,

thriving

relationship. Communicate your thoughts and feelings to your partner and hear him out in return.

Also, feel free to take some time off from the relationship. Maybe just for one week or two, in order to gain some clarity on the matter.

Sometimes, it's easier to make sound decisions when we're not so up close and personal with the situation or with the person.

Take some time to pray, to fast, and to enjoy life. You are not bound to this person, so take as much time as you need and then revisit the situation with a fresh perspective.

Consult close friends and family that know the

Seek wise counsel from a trusted mentor or

both of you. These trusted groups of loved-

relationship counselor if you feel it may

ones may be able to see what you cannot see

benefit your relationship. If you have no

and feel what you are unable to feel. If you

money to pay for a counselor, maybe try your

know that they genuinely love you and want

pastor or a trusted couple that you may be

the best for you, there is no harm in hearing what they have to say about the situation.

One year, although a mile stone, is not a very long time. When you think about it, there are people that I know who are celebrating 30, 40 and even 50 years of marriage. In comparison to these people, one year is like a day. With that being said, I encourage you to think long term. If marriage is your end goal, ask yourself these

comfortable with.

"Do I trust him to lead me and my houshould?" "Will he be a good father to my kids?" "Can he honestly love me as Christ loves the church?"

questions "Do I trust him to lead me and my household?" "Will he be a good father to my kids?" "Can he honestly love me as Christ loves the church?" In the long run, what you may

It's important to remember that relationships are hard work and no relationship is perfect. It

deem hard now may be worth fighting through

is so easy in this day and age to succumb to

for something much more valuable to you and

the lie that only your relationship may have

your future children.

issues or only you have problems in your life.

Sometimes it easier to make sound decisions when we're not so up close and personal with the situation or with the person.

Seeking

mentorship

or

Everyone goes through trials; from the richest to the most poor person on this earth. To the person with the most followers on Instagram to that vlogger that you follow on YouTube.

Hardly anyone is public with the negative aspects in their life, so it's important to remember that you are not alone.

relationship

counseling may also prove useful. It is never too early to start counseling.

Dear Miss A is written anonymously by someone that we love and trust at the magazine. Submit any questions that you may have for Miss A, and maybe yours will be answered in the next issue. Questions can be submitted via our website; all submissions are anonymous.

20 | Oct/ Nov 2019

i am strong an excerpt from a peom written by

SCHARLEE THOMPSON

i am strong

I am strong because I acknowledge the fact that I was once weak. I am strong because when my sister was down, I helped her up. I am strong because I saw someone in need and I helped them. I am strong because even when they told me that I didn’t have a voice, I grabbed the mic. I am strong because I know my purpose in this life. I am strong because I look fear dead in the eye and continue to fight. I am strong because I know that my strength comes from within. I am strong because I know that the power inside of me is stronger than any power that tries to rise up against me. I am strong because I know how hard my ancestors had to fight. I am strong because I choose to fight for people like me who feel like they don't have a voice. I am strong because I was raised on the shoulders of strong black women. I am strong because I know that my value is not based on what people think of me. I am strong because I choose to be strong.

- scharlee thompson

22| Oct/ Nov 2019

KEEP READING FOR SOMETHING

lovely 23| Oct/ Nov 2019

fallfeels You are currently reading The Strong Woman Issue Read other issues of the magazine at www.becomingmagazine.org

25 | Oct/ Nov 2019

B y

P e a r l s E m p o w e r m e n t E s t .

2 0 0 9

Ladies,

BE STRONG b y

c h r i s t n a

s t u b b s

WE ARE REFINED BY THE FIRE. THE FIRE IS WHAT MAKES US STRONG

Let’s face it, life isn’t always easy. Some days are amazing! You know the ones-- those days that are filled with good food, good people, love, and laughter. On the flip side, there are days when you simply don't want to get out of bed. You literally force yourself to get up and face the day.

The reasons behind these bad days may differ from woman to woman. For some, it might be a failure, while other women may be walking through an illness. Some women may have lost a loved one, while others might be struggling with rejection. Life happens- and it when it does, it happens to all of us. No one is exempt from trials.

One thing that I want to say to you is, be strong.

I truly believe that God is calling us higher in this regard. He is calling us to more. He is constantly challenging the idea that our lives must always be comfortable. It is important that we understand this: We are refined by the fire.

The fire is what makes us strong; it’s what molds us into something more than just another

woman. After much testing, I’ve learned that everything that I have faced was for a greater purpose- a purpose much greater than myself or my feelings. Every trial that I've encountered has made me stronger in some way. Every hard season in my life was always to help someone else.

The suffering was by no means easy to cope with, but it made me stronger. It made me more resilient. God has taught me over the years that as His daughter, I must be strong.

practically trained ourselves to be weak, to be quitters, and it’s profiting us nothing.

As a woman, I must be strong. Many of us want strong men, but we’re not strong women. We’re not women of strong faith. We’re not women of resilience. We’re not women of resolve. Many of us desire to be used by God and to do great exploits, but as soon as the walk gets hard, we retreat. As soon as the waters begin to rage, we want to step out of the boat. For some of you, giving up is a way of life. A class gets hard, you drop it. You experience some resistance at work, you quit or ask to be transferred. Things get rough in a relationship, you tap out. We've

Are we really even ready to come anywhere close to filling her shoes? This woman looked death in the eye to save her people. She was willing to sacrifice her own life to save an entire nation.

How can God use us if He can’t trust us? Why would He want us to do great exploits for Him, if at the first sign of opposition, we falter and crumble under the pressure? Ladies, we must be strong. We hear about Queen Esther all the time. A lot of us even compare ourselves to her.

But, Esther was a strong woman!

Esther understood that going before the King unsummoned meant immediate death, yet she was strong. She didn’t shy away from the opposition. She didn’t allow the possibility of death to deter her, and for the sake of her people, she went before the King (Esther 5:1-8).

Esther didn’t retreat, and in the end, God

MANY OF US WANT STRONG MEN, BUT WE’RE NOT STRONG WOMEN.

used the trials and the opposition to make her stronger and help so many people. Her story is still inspiring us today (thousands of years later).

I know that being strong might sometimes seem easier said than done. It’s easy for us to tell someone else to be strong when we can’t fully understand what they’re facing. I understand that. But ladies, I’ve lived this out. I may not know what your exact trial feels like, but I have had more than my share of rough days and dry seasons. So, believe me when I say that once you endure, you will come out stronger and more resilient. The Bible tells us this (James 1:2-4). In the midst of your storm, remember these two things: 1. Don’t Give Up: There will be moments when you want to throw in the towel. There will be days when you want to give everything up because it just feels too hard. Ladies, please don’t give up. Keep enduring. Keep pressing on. I always remind myself that once I continue walking, I will eventually arrive at my destination, but if I stop and throw in the towel, then that’s it. Don’t be a woman who gives up easily.

2. Do It Afraid: There will be moments in your life when you’re afraid. You might be afraid to apply for a school because your grades aren’t the best. You might be afraid to apply for a job because you feel under-qualified. You might even be afraid to take on an opportunity because you don’t feel well equipped for it. One thing that I’ve learned is that sometimes we must do it afraid.

I’ve had so many moments in my life where I felt petrified. I mean petrified to the point that my body felt like it was shaking all over, but God always reminded me that He was with me and that through Him, I can do all things, so I did it afraid. (Philippians 4:13).

Let’s not retreat when trouble comes, but instead, persevere. We may not know what’s on the other side, but we know that the One who walks with us is aware and He has our best interests at heart. Be a woman who is persistent even during great opposition. Be a woman who refuses to quit when the fight gets hard. Ladies, let’s be strong.

Eggplant Parmesan Ingredients 1 large eggplant, sliced into 1/2" thick slices 2 tbsp kosher salt 1 1/2 cup Italian seasoned breadcrumbs 3 eggs 1/2 cup milk 4 tbsp vegetable oil, for lightly pan-frying 3 cups marinara sauce 2 cups whole milk mozzarella shredded 1 cup parmesan cheese shredded Handful of fresh basil leaves chopped, for garnish (optional)

Instructions Salt both sides of your eggplant slices and place them in a large colander in the sink. Let the li uid drain for 45 minutes to 1 hour.When your eggplant slices have inished draining li uid, brush off the excess salt. In 2 shallow plates, add breadcrumbs to one and whisk eggs and milk in the other.

Dip both sides of eggplant slice into milk/egg mixture then cover with breadcrumbs, shaking off the excess. Place on plate or large baking sheet and repeat until all eggplant slices have been coated.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Heat a skillet over medium high heat and add 1 tbsp. of vegetable oil into the skillet. Once the skillet is hot, add two eggplant slices at a time to the skillet and cook on both sides until golden brown, remove and set on a large plate lined with paper towels. Repeat until you've pan-fried them all. In a large casserole dish, add 1 cup of marinara sauce to the bottom of the casserole dish. Add a layer of eggplant slices (I was only able to it about 3 a layer) then using a 1/4 cup, dollop marinara sauce on top of the eggplant slices. The idea isn't to smother the layers with sauce. On top of the eggplant slices, sprinkle a generous amount of mozzarella cheese and Parmesan cheese. Repeat the layers until you run out of eggplants slices. Top the casserole with more cheese before you place in the oven.

Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until the cheese is bubbly and brown on top.

Serve hot and top with chopped basil, if using.

Adapted from Table for Two by Julie Wampler

wanderlust:

Trinidad&Tobago

BY CHRISTNA STUBBS

33 | Oct/ Nov 2019

I took the Maxi taxi everywhere that I went and visited every place that the locals encouraged me to go.

U

ntil we meet again, sweet T&T. These were the words that echoed in my heart as my flight took off from Piarco International Airport. In that moment, I felt a mixture of sadness and expectation. Sadness, because I had to leave, and expectation, because I had already decided that I would make a trip back, someday. As we ascended into the air, I took one last look at Trinidad and Tobago, the country that I fell in love with in just two short weeks and smiled to myself- I thoroughly enjoyed my time there.

If I could describe my trip to Trinidad in one word, it would undoubtedly be, unforgettable. I will never forget my experience. I can’t fully explain it, but something about the country drew me in from the first day I arrived. It reminded me of home, but yet, it was so different. I was intrigued from the get go. There were so many things I loved about my trip, but for the sake of this article, I will narrow it down to three.

ONE: The culture is RICH AND VIBRANT. I had the privilege of experiencing Trinidad firsthand by engaging with the local people. I took the Maxi taxi everywhere that I went and visited every place that the locals encouraged me to go. I can never forget the first time I walked through Curepe Junction in search of the infamous Trinidadian street food, “doubles”. I was nervous at first because there

were so many people, but I was greeted with warm smiles, and an eagerness to make me feel welcomed. I watched in admiration as the local people devoured “double” after “double” on the side of the street, enjoying a significant part of their culture. I also enjoyed seeing the way people bobbed their heads to the soca music that was playing everywhere we went, and I do mean, everywhere.

At one point, I found myself bobbing my head along with them. The first time I visited the city of Port of Spain, I recall feeling incredibly overwhelmed as I took in all the sights before me. I marvelled at the appreciation that these people had for their culture. It was as though each day, I was reminded of another piece of what it meant to be Trinidadian, from the music to the food, to the festivals. There was no mistake that I was in Trinidad and Tobago, no matter where I went.

TWO: The food is AMAZING. If there is one thing that I miss about my trip, it is undoubtedly, the food. I can almost smell the spicy scent of “doubles” and the rich scent of roti radiating through the vents of the local restaurants. The first time I bit into a “double”, I low key saw the heavens open. It was such a momentous occasion that my sister recorded the entire ordeal on her phone. It was that good. I can also remember the first time I tried the local “Bake and Shark”, a Trinidadian dish that I call a

31 | Jan/Feb 2019

35| Oct/ Nov 2019

"burger with shark meat". I piled on that various sauces that were available to place on the sandwich, my favorite being a mixture of tamarind and garlic. I was skeptical at first, but after the first bite, I pretty much inhaled the entire sandwich, and I wanted more. Another thing that I obsessed over were the tamarind balls that I found in every food store. I enjoyed them so much that the day before I left, I made it my business to purchase about ten packs to take home with me. I ate most of them the day after I got back!

THREE: The scenery is BREATHTAKING. Every morning when I woke up, I looked outside to see the mountains. I was always in awe as I looked out of the window, thinking not only about the incredible beauty of the country itself, but I just stood in wonder of the hand of God. All of this was His creation. I marvelled at the mountains and waterfalls.There were so many amazing places that captivated me, but I have to say that the one place that nearly blew my mind was Maracas Bay Beach. It was breathtaking.

Literally. We drove for about an hour from St. Augustines to Maracas Bay, and our friendly driver stopped to a spot where we could look out at the beach before we actually got there. When we stepped out of the car, I had no words. None of the photos or videos that we took did the scene before our eyes any justice. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It was that beautiful. What is

even more amazing is that when we finally drove down to the beach, it got even better! I vividly remember saying that the image resembled a painting. I had never seen anything like it up close, and I don’t think I’d ever forget it. It is forever engraved into my mind, along with the rest of my trip.

My trip to Trinidad and Tobago was one that I can never forget. Now, when I hear a soca song on the radio, I remember the music playing on the Maxi taxi and the way the local people sang along. When I smell the scent of curry, I remember the strong scent of roti radiating from the local “Trini” restaurants, and the way the locals devoured the “doubles” one after another on the street corner in Curepe Junction. Although I was a tourist, I felt like I was apart of the people, not a stranger, but an insider- I felt welcomed into their culture, even if it was only for two weeks. While I’ve travelled to many places around the world, I always tell people that my trip to Trinidad and Tobago is one that is engraved on my heart, and will be for a long time. Until we meet again, sweet T&T.

31 | Jan/Feb 2019

...The scenery is breathtaking

37 | Oct/ Nov 2019

Trenae Miller is

UNBREAKABLE not liable to break or able to be broken easily

I gave my life to Jesus Christ at the age of 19. At the time, I was trying my best to cope with a really bad break-up, and honestly, giving my life to Jesus was the best decision I have ever made. Today however, I am a 25 year old single mom, so, I guess it's safe to say that I was backsliding in my walk with Him during that six year period. God de initely has a way of using the pain and hard times in our lives to draw us back to Him. The past two years have been really rough for me.

On June 1st 2018, my family and I lost one of our own. My precious aunt, Tami Gibson, was killed in a Labour Day Parade accident. It was a national tragedy, and one of the worst tra ic fatalities ever to have taken place in Nassau, Bahamas. There are truly no words that could ever explain the pain that I experienced when she died. The feeling was, and can sometimes still be overwhelming.

Initially, I cried for weeks, and lost a lot of weight due to my lack of appetite. During the months a ter it happened, I just felt completely numb. I grew up in a very tight knit family, inclusiveÂ

of my parents, siblings, my aunt Tami (she was my mom's identical twin sister), her husband and their kids. Those people are the closest people to me- my inner circle. Losing my aunt marked the irst time that I had ever lost anyone close so to me, and so it was the most heartbreaking thing I ever had to endure.

If anyone has ever experienced the death of a loved one, then they know that there is a part of you that will always hurt because they're gone.

The only truth that gives me peace about her passing is that she lived her life faithfully to God. My faith allows me to believe that she is enjoying heaven in the fullness of God's glory and one sweet day, I will see her again.

My aunt's death allowed me to keep a few things in perspective. No matter how it happens, we all have an appointment with death. This gave me so much motivation to set my mind on things above and not on the temporary things of this world.

This was a huge eye opener for me to come back to

God, simply because life on this earth is just too short (James 4:14). Her death taught me to always reach out and visit family, friends and loved ones.

Initially, I did not want to be around anyone a ter her death, but little did I know, God was going to use this to help my healing process (Psalms 147:3).

This is actually where I found my strength. My close family and loved ones helped me to heal in this area of my life. Now, I make a conscious e fort to spend quality time with my loved ones and always ensure they know that I love them.

Shortly a ter losing my aunt, I also had to struggle with a failing relationship. I was romantically involved with a guy who I thought was the love of my life for years. This relationship was actually the main reason I kept backsliding. I had been compromising my obedience to God to keep him happy. I struggled, because I did not want to let him go, but I also did not want to stay; it was a miserable feeling the entire time. I became pregnant with my son four years into our relationship.

This is when everything that I thought was good started to go downhill. I understand so much now that God does not only warn us about sin for His sake, but for ours. I came to realize that I had only cheated myself out of God's perfect will for my life. I always imagined myself having kids while married to a man who loves me. However, I learned AGAIN that no one can truly love the way you deserve to be loved if they do not love God. My dreams of having a family were crushed when I realized that this man could not love me the way I desired to be loved, even while pregnant with his child.

That realization was the last straw for me, and I inally decided to end the relationship and coparent for the sake of our child. I felt so hurt and disappointed that I had to face this new reality of being a single mom even before the birth of my child. Can you imagine how intense the emotions were for me at such a delicate time in my life? If that wasn't enough, seven months into my pregnancy, I ended up losing my job due to someÂ

really unfortunate circumstances. I was seriously at the lowest point in my life. I cried and cried for days. Most days, I forced myself to eat, only for the sake of the baby inside my belly. I woke up with anxiety and went to bed with anxiety. I felt like a living embarrassment and it was extremely hard to shake that feeling. At the time, I was living in an apartment on my own, and I had never felt so alone. A ter wallowing for weeks, I decided that I did not want to feel like that anymore! I cried out to God and admitted to him, "Lord, I made a huge mess of my life! I'm sorry and I'm ready to do things Your way. Can you please forgive me and help me ix my life?"

Since that moment of humility, honesty and repentance, God has done wonders in my life. He has led me to a church that is alive with the word of God. I have also been blessed with two wise and loving pastors, and a dynamic group of believers that I am privileged to fellowship with. They helped me to understand two very simple truths, which is that faith in God will literally move

mountains and that the joy of the Lord is my strength. I am only strong because of God's grace and goodness. I believe every word that He says by faith. I have seen His hand at work in my life and I am now the happiest I have ever been, and I'm not just saying that; I really am.

I believe that God heard my cry to Him asking Him to ix my life, and He came to my rescue without hesitation, like any good father would. I am now at peace with everything in my life. I no longer depend on job security, as God has been my sole provider and source for everything I need for myself and my child. I can focus on a career shi t and continuing my education for my personal development, and I'm no longer stuck in a relationship that's going nowhere. I am absolutely in love with my baby boy; he brings me so much joy! He is my greatest blessing next to salvation and I adore spending time with him. Being his mommy trumps any relationship I have ever had in my entire life! My faith in God is stronger than it has ever been because He has proven who He is

by working miracles for me daily. He is a covenant keeping God, and I can rest in His promises.

Romans 8:28 says, " And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." No matter what I may have cheated myself out of, I know that God is everything that He says He is, and I trust Him to continue restoring everything that I lost.

Letters F R O M

L U C Y

Lucy Wanjiru IS 29 years old and is from Nairobi Kenya. Read about her life experiences in this column or check out her blog @OneGratefulLeper

H

ave you ever prayed about a certain issue or decision that you needed to make and you genuinely felt God leading you to take a leap of faith? I know I have. In fact, that's where I found myself. Around August of last year, I resigned from a job that I had been working for two years because another opportunity presented itself to me. At the time, I had been praying for God to open another door for me, so when I got offered another job somewhere else, it felt like, “Finally God, you answered my prayer!”

Although I felt like this opportunity was an open door from God, I still prayed about it and even asked for some advice before making the final decision. I felt like it was about time I got out and experienced the “new” that God promised me. Yes, it was scary! Moving away from my family and friends was scary; but, I packed all that I needed and headed for an adventure. This was the scariest decision I have ever made.

45 | Oct/ Nov 2019

When I got there, (my new work place) from the first day, things were frustrating, but I encouraged myself that it was going to be okay when I finally settled. This wasn't the case. The terms of the job were not as we had agreed, and, believe it or not, after two months I decided to quit. Believe you me, I am not a quitter. I have never quit from a job before no matter how hard things were but with this, I just couldn't keep up, so, I got all of my stuff and moved back home. I was back to square one. In fact, I found myself in a far worse condition since I didn't have a job.

It has been almost a year since that occurred, and I'm still without a permanent job. Has it been easy? Heck NO. It has been tough. Really tough. Emotionally, mentally, spiritually, it has been tough for me. My faith has been tested so much this year. I have had days of thinking " Lord I thought you told me to take a leap of faith" and I have had days of doubting if He is even real. But you know what? This oneÂ

year has been the most peaceful year I have had in a long time. In many ways, He has showed up when I needed Him. I have heard Him whisper this words from John 13:7 gently in my heart" You do not realize what I am doing, but later you will". I keep saying, sometimes we don't have to share our testimony when it's whole, beautiful and complete. Truthfully, sometimes we just need it to give it out when it's broken and messy, yet so graceful.

Sometimes, someone needs to hear "I get you because I am there with you." This is my broken yet beautiful testimony to a woman out there.

Things are still a little bit tough, but you know what? I AM AT PEACE. I AM HOPEFUL. I AM CONTENT. And, above all, I can rest. I can rest knowing the one who created me still has good plans for me. Plans to prosper me and not harm me, plans to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11) and that is enough to know even though I can't see the whole

staircase. This message is for that woman who is struggling. A woman with questions. A woman who took a wrong turn when things got a bit tough. A woman who feels lost and confused. A woman who is asking "God, are you even real?" Honey, He is so real. The fact that you are still here despite all you have gone through, is a sign that HE IS REAL. His hand has been holding you up when you wanted to give up. I may not know what you are going through, but God does. And, He is whispering those sweet words to you too " You may not know what am doing, but later you will". Honey, run back to your father because He cares for you. He has always cared for you.

47 | Oct/ Nov 2019

Coffee

WITH KISSY the podcast

follow us on the gram. @BECOMING.MAGAZINE

words WITH KYTIA L'AMOUR

52 | Oct/ Nov 2019

F

or this month’s issue, we were

both eager and incredibly

2:10 “For we are God’s handiwork, created

grateful

in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God

to feature the beautiful, Kytia as the

prepared in advance for us to do.” Not

story

the

fulfilling that would be the greatest fear I

“Becoming” Team closely follow Kytia’s

could have. Fortunately, I have a very

Youtube channel “Kytia L'amour”, along

supportive

with her social media accounts, and were

continually pray for each other and are

inspired by her life. Her grace, wisdom,

there to keep my focus on our Creator.

cover

!

Many

members

of

family

members

that

love for her family, and most importantly, her love for Jesus shines brightly, and we

Speaking of being on track in my walk with

are eager to share her incredible story with

God,

you!

accomplishment

---

rebuild my entire life. Before that, I felt

I’m 33 years old, and I’ve travelled around a

very stressed and very lost. January 2018 is

bit since I was a child. I’ve lived long

when I gave up doing things in my own

stretches of my life in Ohio, Florida, Hawaii

strength

and California. I believe California is my

everything. What do you want me to do

last stop, and it’s the only place that feels

with my life?” He answered, “Share Me with

like home. Fortunately, Southern California

the world.” Since then, I’ve been using

is a place where a lot of the things I like to

every means I have to do just that. On my

do are readily available. That includes

websites, YouTube channel, social media,

building sandcastles with my daughter at

etc. Everything began to accelerate once I

the beach, visiting practically every theme

did that. It wasn’t overnight or easy by any

park, going on road trips, spending time

stretch of the imagination, but I would do it

with our family members, and going to the

all over again in a heartbeat. If God’s not in

movies. I’m sure there’s more, but those are

it, it’s not worth it.

I’d

say

and

my was

said,

biggest allowing

“God,

I

recent God

give

to

you

definitely at the top of the list. I don’t fear many things anymore—thank you, Jesus—

Even though my parents divorced when I

but I’d say the most terrifying thing that

was an infant, they always took me and my

could happen to me would be ending up

brothers to church and made sure we knew

way off track in my walk with God. I do

about our Lord and Savior. I know this gave

believe God has a purpose and a plan for all

me such a head start in my own personal

of us according to Ephesians

relationship with Jesus. We moved back and

forth a few times between parents when I

and it’s actually astounding what God has

was younger, and it made it harder to have

done in us personally and in our families

long lasting friendships, and I hated starting

through our commitment to each other.

over and being the new girl at school.

However, having to adapt quickly to things

One of the things that stands out to me

that were outside of my control has actually

about what God has called me and my

been a huge asset to me. I love that in my

husband into is being entrepreneurs. For so

career in entertainment, things are always

many years, we were trying to force

shifting and changing. Also, I have a pretty

ourselves into the idea of a 9-5 because

firm grasp on the idea that wherever God

that’s what most people call success, but it

plants me is “home”. Moving on from

just never stuck. After feeling like we hit

people and places when it’s necessary is

rock bottom, we desperately cried out to

easier for me than I think it is for most

God and asked Him to show us what we’re

people.

called to do. Since that point, it’s been clear to us that we are called to start companies

My transition in moving to California after

and ministries of our own. In 2016, God

I got married to my husband was probably

gave me a clear idea for a ministry and what

the most difficult though. It’s interesting

it would be called: “L’amour in Christ” was

when I’m asked about married life. When I

born. I started this with no idea what it

first got married at the age of 23, people

would grow into. I just had a desire to blog

would ask all the time, “So, how’s married

about what God was teaching me and to

life?” I never knew where to begin because

share my personal testimonies. That’s now

there are so many aspects to it. Now that I

a thriving YouTube channel, a clothing line,

just celebrated 10 years of marriage, I can

a hub for encouragement, and in the future,

say without a doubt that I had no idea what

many events will also be added under this

I was getting into. Being a wife is nothing

umbrella.

like I thought it would be. I understood it was a gift, but the spiritual responsibility of

As I steward this along with working for

having a God-ordained marriage is so

other brands and producing content for

beyond just the two of us. What we’ve

them, it sometimes feels like too much.

found is that our union is an assignment for

When I’m overwhelmed, I know I need to

the Kingdom of God, and a partnership in

take a step back and see how things can be

serving Him. I’ve seen so many amazing

streamlined or become more efficient.

things happen through our relationship,

Because I’ve been doing this for a few years,

I have a pretty good handle on how to

other videos that have done well, but

manage it, but of course things come up

nothing

that you can’t anticipate. My husband and I

subscribers are still coming from that video,

both work from home, and we homeschool

and there’s no way I could anticipate that

our daughter, so we had to get creative with

uploading

scheduling. I work two days of the week and

everything. I still implement practical steps

he works three days. When it’s my work

like posting consistently, using eye-catching

day, I get back to emails and answer

graphics, and staying engaged with people

comments and private messages I have on

who are interacting with me. However, it’s

social media. I film the content that I need

because I want to be a good steward over

to for brands and youtube videos, edit and

the responsibility God gave me, and not just

upload them, and market them to my

another hack to get the numbers. If we

audience. It’s a cycle that I’ve gotten used

focus on the likes and views, we’ll go crazy.

like

that.

that

Most

video

of

would

my

new

change

to. Even though it’s my new normal, the hardest

part

is

balancing

the

spiritual

Any advice I give to others on a similar path

responsibility of it. I get messages and

usually sounds like this: just say yes to what

emails daily with other believers asking me

God has told you to do. Once you do that,

for prayer and advice. I take all of this to

pray genuinely for instructions from Him

the Lord so that I’ll know how to address

and take your time before you run and post

them, but it can feel very heavy to hear

things on your blog, upload videos, start

what so many people are battling with

selling tickets to your conference, etc. Do it

behind closed doors.

for the right reasons because if you are facing struggles or you’re not seeing the

People have asked me many times about

results you thought you would, the enemy

how I grew my brand. Before I surrendered

will always come in to tell you why you

my career to God, I read every article I

should stop and why what you’re doing

could find about growth hacks, and all the

doesn’t matter. Sometimes, God waits for

videos

a

you to prove yourself before you see a

following. None of them worked for me. I

major shift or success. Will you do it simply

didn’t really see results until I took it to God

because He told you to, or are you only

at the beginning of last year. All of a sudden

going to do it if there’s something in it for

a video I posted called “HOW I LEARNED

you? And if you feel like literally nothing is

TO

happening, take it back to God in prayer. Is

I

could

HEAR

find

GOD’S

about

building

VOICE

MORE

CLEARLY” started blowing up. I have a few .

something missing? Are you supposed to

ask for help? Did you jump ahead of God’s

-----

timing? Are you being faithful with the

Kytia is truly an inspiration. Her heart for

least?

the things of God and commitment to what He has called she and her family to is

When I first started this journey, I had no

admirable and we are grateful that we get to

idea where it would lead me, and it’s funny

watch what God is doing in her life. We

to realize that many of the things I used to

have no doubt that the work that God is

be heavily involved in several years ago are

doing has just begun, and there is much

coming back around. Writing was a starting

more on the horizon!

point for me, and that’s translated into a few book ideas God has given me. Also,

Subscribe to her channel and connect with

something

her on instagram @kytialamour

I’m

very

excited

about

is

creating my own content within Christian media. In the past few years we’ve seen just how much the world is craving the truth.

Movies like “War Room”, “God’s Not Dead”, “The Case for Christ”, etc. have proven that the spiritual temperature is just right to bring more faith-based entertainment to the masses.

I’m glad to be a part of that, and some original content me and my husband are spearheading should be popping up within the next few years. I’m also excited about the

different

(especially

events

those

in

for the

Christians arts

and

entertainment) that we’ll be curating. My hope for the future is to see a dramatic shift within the culture we’re seeing in America that is so focused on self. God is on the move, and He is transforming those of us who are tired of seeing the enemy try to keep his grip on the body of Christ.

friendship.

AT BECOMING MAGAZINE WE ARE GRATEFUL FOR

This thanksgiving celebrate the friends that God has blessed you with. Friendship and sisterhood is a gift.

Wanttobeapartofthemagazine?

JOIN

team "THE ZINE" www.becomingmagazine.org

64 | Oct/ Nov 2019

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J

oeranda Braynen is an incredibly gifted entrepreneur. This soon to be 34-year-

old grew up on the island of Eleuthera (one of the many islands of the Bahamas). She is the owner of Basileia Natural Nails, a nail salon that

specializes

in

gel

polish

manicures

and

pedicures. With 14 years of experience in the nail industry and 8 of those years owning her own company, Joeranda is the very definition of “GirlBoss”.

80 | Oct/ Nov 2019

Joeranda

was

destined

to

be

a

stated

that

it

was

accompanying

age. Unfortunately, when Joeranda

her mother to work that helped her

was

shared that some of her earliest

to truly know “what it is to hustle to

passed

memories were accompanying her

make money”. Joeranda recalls as

however that she will NEVER forget

mother who was a straw vendor to

a

work.

singing

successful

business

owner,

she

years

old She

her

mother

mentioned

Saturday's

the days spent with her mother and

for

a

quarter,

cherishes her memory deeply. She

was in that very same straw market

selling flutes and directing guests

herself is now a mother. Along with

that

to

her

her

love

explained

for

that

business

it

and

her

spending

11

away.

her

Joeranda

child

only

to

tourists

mother’s

that

In

service,

understanding

demands

and

her

own

She further

spirit

words, was

“my

birthed".

learned

She

being her own boss was cultivated.

entrepreneur

she

stall.

about

how

to

shared

customer market overcome

disappointments at a very early

husband,

beautiful

boys

she

parents

Jaylen

and

two

Jayce.

She savours the joys of mothering her sons and is also in her own

words, an “Angel mom” having had 3

having

miscarriages

in

Joeranda

future.

shared

with

us

daughter

first miscarriage, Joeranda founded

physically with us, but they will always

Jhené

Jolie

sleeping.

a

be a piece of our hearts and keeping

the

past.

that

was

her

born

another On

the

non-profit little

baby

girl

anniversary

organization

Peace

too”.

her

organization

called

is

mantra "our

of

babies

are

the not

to

their memories alive will always bring

endured two other miscarriages after

celebrate the life and memories of

PEACE to our hearts". How beautiful is

the first loss. As a result of this, she

her

daughter.

that!

went on to say that her biggest fear is

for

infant

being pregnant and experiencing that

encouragement

pain

have

and anguish over again. Nevertheless,

Joeranda explained that her motto

her

she included that it is a fear that she

is "I’ve survived the agony and grief

years)

MUST overcome as she anticipates

of losing an infant and you WILL

that God has truly blessed her with an

loss

organization

support; to

such

Heart”

Another

"A

The

my

the

of

Moreover, she also

had

of

in

is

providing

mothers

who

experiences.

When

we

asked

about

married

life,

Joeranda’s love for and commitment to husband was

of

eleven

evident!

(yes

She

ELEVEN

expressed

amazing

help

mate

so affectionally “lover”and explained

“best that

(whom

refers

to

friend”).

her

she

revelation

her

are joined together with the right

sharing her daily routine with us

She

one”. She further shared that: (1)

she explained that “on the days

Marriage

that

as

husband

has

especially

is

a

when

God

you

ordained

Her

days

I’m

are

often

extremely

busy

I

would

usually

she can experience motherhood.

bad as you make it and (3) It has

appointment, followed by a

Joeranda

shared

its

quick 30 minute workout (because

calm

strength

quiet,

perfectly

ups

and

and

downs,

downs

but

don’t

ups or

won’t

be

able

to

drive

to

discontinue

and this makes them the perfect

shared

combination for parenting. She

belief that marriage is a “death

that her morning devotions

went on to say that marriage is

sentence”

are

balancing

your

truly

say

that

spouses’ and it is such a beautiful

such

a

free,

symphony. In her own words, “The

fulfilling experience!

needs

and

power of two is an awesome

that

despite

or

Joeranda

I

am

complements her outgoing nature,

your

purpose.

the

derail

6:00

in

institution (2) It is only as good or

his

a

and

cultivated her and is the reason

that

have

busy

the

“prison”, being

popular

she

can

married

exhilarating

is

and

nail

the

beach for my usual hour walk/jog) before

breakfast”.

done

She

electronically

told

via

us

her

Bible app during breakfast. Next would

be

school

drop

offs

for

8:30 a.m. then the rush of getting

back

to

her

salon

appointments.

that

for

She

9:00a.m.

mentioned

appointments

continue

until

around

usually 2:30p.m.

A major challenge that Joeranda

an

faced

workload.

in

building

her

brand

is

assistant

to

help

lighten

the

finding the time to simply focus; finding

the

time

to

budget,

the

She

counsels

women

seeking

to

when she’d have leave to collect

time to plan, the time to market

start their own business to ensure

her

and

that

sons

afternoons

from

school.

consists

of

Her

hanging

not

having

accommodate

to

clients.

decided

are

passionate

about

extracurricular

picking

your

up her husband at 5:30 p.m. and

a “Focus Day”. Her focus days are

feel like working for anyone. She

then having to head back to her

used to post to social media,

instructs budding entrepreneurs to

salon for 6:00 pm appointments.

create

advertisements,

make

When she isn’t working, mothering

flyers

and

or “wife-ing” (lol) Joeranda enjoys

appointments for the week.

karaoke and has deemed herself

In

the “Karaoke Queen”.

Joeranda has also recently hired

schedule

her

“Focus

to

they

the field they have chosen. She

deem one day out of every week

to

she

help

her

To

addition

this,

of

with her kids during their evening activities,

combat

enough

all

create her

shared with us that having business

their

should

businesses

their

never

own

and enjoy making their own rules!

To

Days”

own

women

struggling

who

with

are

currently

entrepreneurship,

Joeranda advises them to

remember

that

having

your

own

words “Bigger” and “Better”! She

business is fun, but it is still a lot of

shared

work! She reminds them they must

open

do

luxury salon. We are certain that

their

important

best

areas

procrastinate. to

to

always

and

She be

focus

on

to

reminds

the

never them

present

the

that up

she

her

realization

would

very

of

love

own

that

to

dream

dream

is

not too far in the future.

and

professional; to always be on time

Connect with Joeranda on social

and to always treat a client better

media.

than you would treat yourself!

Bahamas

If

you’re support

in her

Nassau, business.

You will not be disappointed.

Joeranda few

shares

projects

that

coming

she up

has

a

VERY

soon which includes new products and new services. Her hopes for

@bnnails

the future were defined in two

48 | Jan/Feb 2019

UWI WOMEN'S HEALTH INITIATIVE

HPV

GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT The UWI Women's Health Initiative is a club at The University of The West Indies School of Clinical Medicine & Research Nassau Bahamas. The club is geared towards promoting women's health and raising awareness.

FACT HPV IS ALSO THE LEADING CAUSE OF VAGINAL, VULVAR, ANAL AND PENILE CANCERS

MYTH

HPV ONLY CASUES CERVICAL CANCER

FACT

HPV

CAN

BE

ACTIVITIES,

SPREAD

BY

INCLUDING

ALL

SEXUAL

SKIN-TO-SKIN

CONTACT. HPV WAS DETECTED IN 46% OF FEMALES PRIOR TO FIRST VAGINAL SEX

MYTH

YOU CAN'T GET HPV IF YOU'RE NOT HAVING SEX

MYTH HPV ONLY AFFECTS FEMALES, SO ONLY FEMALES NEED TO BE VACCINATEDÂ

FACT M S H O E A C M O

B O T H A L E S A N D F E M A L E S U L D B E V A C C I N A T E D .

H Y E A R , H P V - C A U S E D C A N C E R S A F F E C T R E T H A N 9 , 0 0 0 M E N .

MYTH

IF YOU HAVE HPV YOU WILL GET CERVICAL CANCER

FACT

HAVING HPV MEANS YOU ARE AT A GREATER RISK OF DEVELOPING

CERVICAL CANCER. THERE ARE SEVERAL TYPES OF HPV, SOME THAT ARE HIGH RISK FOR CERVICAL CANCER WHILE OTHER TYPES ARE NOT.

5 Easy Steps to Begin Investing

SECURE THE BAG Adapted from Nerd Wallet

Start investing

1

as early as possible.

Decide how

2

much to invest.

Open an

3

investment account.

Understand your

4

invest options.

Pick an

5

investment strategy.

www.becomingmagazine.org

our reading list OCT/ NOV 2019

Bloodlines: Race, Cross, and the Christian by John Piper

"Sharing from his own experiences growing up in the segregated South, pastor John Piper thoughtfully exposes the unremitting problem of racism."

Books worth reading this month!

Radiant: His Light, Your Life for Teen Girls and Young Women by Priscilla Shirer "Radiant is an invitation for teen girls and young women to enjoy a candid conversation on identity with bestselling author Priscilla Shirer. You’ll hear reflections on life lessons she’s gathered from her teen years until now."

Fasting by Jentezen Franklin ""In thisNew York Times BestSeller and one of the best available books on the topic, Jentezen Franklin explains the spiritual power of fasting and offers a deeper understanding of God’s plan for fasting and the benefits available to those who participate."

Boycrazy: And How I Ended up Single and (mostly) Sane

by Tiffany Dawn "This book is a novel-like collection of heartaches, fears, and (just for fun) some weird date stories. But it’s also different from your typical book on singleness."

Looking for Lovely: Collecting the Moments that Matter by Annie Downs "Annie F. Downs shares personal stories, biblical truth, and examples of how others have courageously walked the path God paved for their lives ."

Conquer the year 6 Tips for a More Fruitful Year Check out previous issues of the magazine for #1-12 of conquering 2019

13

Take nature walks

Whether you walk in a park or on the seashore, escaping from a

hectic

can

routine

work

to

wonders

slow

down

for

your

stress level. Try incorporating

a

daily or (weekly) walk into your schedule for

the

rest

of

the

year.

Reach out to an old friend

14

Catching up with an old friend over coffee can be therapeutic.

Reflecting

over

the

past

few

months or years can really help you to gain perspective on how far you've come and where you are headed.

15

Do nothing!

Every day after work or school try finding a quiet place to simply do nothing for 10-15 minutes. Put that phone on airplane mode or turn it off. Turn off that tablet/ipad. Turn off the television or any thing that distracts you and simply sit. Sit and breathe and release the burden of the

day

you

just

endured.

Be

grateful that you made it through another day.

16

Cut back on screen time

Let's face it, we spend way too much time on our smart devices.

Try giving your eyes a break, try giving your brain a break! If your current screen time is 8 hours per day, hours

maybe a

try

day.

to

With

get

it

those

at

6

extra

hours you shaved off, try reading a

book,

spending

family or praying.

time

with

17

Have a spa day!

There

is

bank

for

day

at

no

break

Have

home

with

home

There

recipes

online.

to

one.

products. of

need

this

are

for

Decide

on

the spa

made

thousands

easy a

a

scrubs

time

and

make it happen.

18

Review your year

With less than 2 months left in the

year

perfect 2019.

now time

What

would to

are

be

reflect some

a on

things

you're proud of? In what ways can

you

improve?

Use

this

time to make adjustments for the months left in 2019.

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FITNESS Making Strong Women, Stronger Keehnan Camacho

109 | Oct/ Nov 2019

Fitness as you age is a FIGHT. Getting into shape as a teen takes all of 10 minutes!

Your metabolic rate is high, and your body recovers quickly! As a result, you are able to burn, build and repair quickly. Unless you have spent your few years on earth leading a sedentary lifestyle and living off of KFC and McDonalds, your health as teen is generally optimal. Over time though, you may have noticed changes to your body with age. Beginning around age 30 (for those of us who are there or past that age), a person begins to lose muscle mass- up to 3 to 5 % each decade if you are not active. The changes may be related to many factors including neurological fluctuations or a decrease in the body’s ability to synthesise proteins. It can also be due to a decrease in Human Growth Hormone, Testosterone or Insulin.

fitness as you age is a fight In our twenties, our metabolisms are little slower but speedy, nonetheless. In our thirties it slows down significantly (again, if we are not active) . In our thirties our rabbit of a metabolic rate has turned into a tortoise. S-L-O-W! You can no longer get away with unhealthy eating and a sedentary lifestyle. Pounds start sneaking in more quickly. Reflexes and coordination can also suffer from the biological changes associated with aging. You also may have noticed that your body doesn’t

respond the way it used to. It may be more difficult to get up from the couch, climb stairs with groceries, or go for a bike ride. With age, your body can get stiffer and “wobblier”, and your muscles more “laxed”. The redistribution of muscle to fat can definitely affect your balance. Less leg muscles and stiffer joints make it more difficult to move around. Changes in body weight and bone loss may also affect your height. People typically lose almost ½ inch in height every 10 years after age 40.

Your body may not be responing like it used to The old adage, “use it or lose it” is true when it comes to your physical abilities. When you lose muscle, it’s typically replaced by fat. Although your weight may increase only slightly, your frame may appear much larger because fat takes up 18% more room on your body than muscle. Fortunately, it’s never too late to start exercising and taking care of your muscles. Start with flexibility and balance.

“Flexibility is the third pillar of fitness, next to cardiovascular conditioning and strength training. ” Flexibility can help reduce injuries, improve your balance and help you reach your optimum level of fitness.

Dynamic stretching involves movement — such as walking lunges, squats or arm circles — to

accomplish flexibility of the muscle groups. The benefits of dynamic stretching includes more power, less injury, better coordination and balance and efficient neuromuscular activation.

Three additional habits that WILL WORK for YOU: (1) Exercising Consistently (2) Embracing Intensity and (3) Eating Intentionally. Your overall goal is to add muscle to your body.

Muscle is active, calorie burning tissue that helps keep your metabolism going strong.

However, this isn’t a quick car repair. It’s consistent, ongoing, preventative maintenance.

Silly metaphor? Perhaps. But your physical body is the one and only ‘vehicle’ that you have to carry you through the rest of your life. Permanent lifestyle changes are important as they enable YOU to maintain YOUR health.

Yours in Health Coach K

www.becomingmagazine.org |

@ becoming.magazine