Lynne Quarmby vs. The World

www.the-peak.ca | True dough since 1965

LYNN QUARMBY

NEWS

ARTS

OPINIONS

SPORTS

HUMOUR

FIRST PEEK

Earlier this summer I had my first and only Tinder experience. After swiping left and right for days, and having boring conversations with countless people, I eventually matched with him. Age? 27.

Name? We’ll call him “unicycleguy” for this story. Appearance?

His picture displayed him holding a pineapple next to his face with his blonde dreadlocks tied up to resemble the juicy fruit next to him. That’s basically all the information Tinder provides.

He messaged me and right away asked me out. Without even having one conversation with him, I agreed to meet up. His plan for our first date? Unicycling.

We planned to meet at the Seawall where I’d rollerblade and he’d unicycle. I was sitting on a bench waiting when I saw him ride up on his unicycle. He was wearing a spandex biking outfit, was quite tall, and still had the blonde dreadlocks.

He stood out a bit.

The first date went well. We rode around and talked a bit about ourselves. He told me about his plans to either visit India or go to UBC in the fall.

We smiled a lot, and he was a

nice enough guy. After the short date, he rode me back to my volunteer job.

He then messaged me again the next day suggesting we go out to dinner. I was impressed by unicycle-guy’s planning skills; he seemed to be playing no games and just wanted to have a good time. The plan was for him to pick me up from work, so obviously everyone in the office soon found out about my Tinder date. While showing my coworkers his Facebook profile I noticed something odd written at the bottom — his stated age was incorrect.

I got in his car, and within five minutes of us driving to the restaurant I asked him what his actual age was. He responded with, “Oh, well, I’m turning 18.” He didn’t even have the guts to say he was 17, that he had literally just graduated high school, or that he had lied on his profile.

Now, I’m not opposed to people dating people of different ages (and I especially don’t like the stigma regarding older women dating younger men), but this guy was just too young for me. Two years isn’t a big difference in age when you are a bit older than I am, but when your date is still not considered an adult

September 14, 2015

in the eyes of the law, it makes you reconsider things.

I felt bad because I knew this relationship wasn’t going to work out, but we still had plans to go to this semi-fancy restaurant. Once I knew his actual age, more of his immaturities began to surface. Though I still thought he was a real nice guy, I noticed he really didn’t have much of anything to say. At least the food was really good!

He drove me home, and somewhere out of my crazy singlehood mind I just wanted to be sure, so I kissed unicycle-guy.

I went in for just a peck, and got a lot more than I asked for. I jerked back, gave his blonde dreadlocks one last pat and went inside.

I knew this wasn’t for me and wanted to make that clear.

I messaged him with the honest truth: that I thought he was a nice guy, but that I just didn’t think we’d work together. He then replied with a very long message explaining how that isn’t how I truly felt, and that kissing him meant I really did like him. He implied that I was a nervous person that was too scared to try new things, or get what I wanted. Needless to say, I never saw unicycle-guy again.

Though I sometimes wish I had sent one last message saying: FYI, in the post-high school world, it really isn’t cool to tell someone else how they feel.

3

4

NEWS

September 21, 2015

news editor email

Melissa Roach news@the-peak.ca

associate news editor

Jamal Dumas

The LIVE Biennale event features an evening exploring transcultural art practices at the Djavad Mowafaghian Centre for the Arts this Tuesday, September 22 at 8 p.m.

The artists presenting bring their perspectives from Gabon, Finland, and Germany as they discuss the cultural context of art.

Check out the Fairs week from September 21 to 25 at Surrey campus, where there will be career, graduate school, and volunteer booths for students to interact with a variety of organizations.

After two days of bargaining and three days of mediation with experienced mediator Vince Ready, SFU and the Teaching Support Staff Union (TSSU) emerged still without a Collective Agreement.

According to the university, the union is withholding grades for approximately 10,000 students and over 800 students “may be denied the opportunity to graduate and for some students, job offers are being revoked.”

Administration presented the union with a package deal, bundling together several proposals, all of which the TSSU could either accept or reject. The TSSU bargaining committee recommended refusal of the package to its members. At a Special General Meeting on Sept. 16, members debated the issue and the union authorized for members to vote on the final package. The vote is to take place on Tuesday, Sept. 22.

Upon reviewing the deal, the TSSU tabled it, determining that the package contained “a whole range of takeaways or cuts to the rights of our members,” they stated in a bargaining update.

The results of the package deal addressed many of the core issues that had been discussed during bargaining, but TSSU feels that the deal was lacking in certain respects, naming various “cuts” to union members’ rights.

Though monetary issues had not previously been brought to the bargaining table, SFU’s final package proposed wage increases in line with Public Sector Employers’ Council mandate, but also some decreases in certain members’ pay, which the TSSU claims will bring them below the mandate.

The TSSU stated that the packaged was particularly unfair to English Language and Culture/Interpretation and Translation Program (ELC/ITP) instructors. The union has requested access to SFU’s standard benefits package for continuing instructors and this has proven to be a sticking point between their bargaining committee and SFU administration.

SFU expressed in a labour update that “regrettably,” they

were “unable to find common ground” on the issue of ELC/ITP benefits, “including the option of maintaining the current language,” and offering to set aside a fund for ELC/ITP instructors.

Another issue that the union has with the deal pertains to a particular proposal that would change the existing grievance process. Currently, issues that cannot be solved informally with the individuals involved are brought to the union and then there is the option of involving the department chair. The proposed change would require all grievances to go through Human Resources before contacting the chair.

TSSU spokesperson George Temple expressed that the majority of issues are settled informally, directly with the chairs.

“SFU Administration’s proposal would undermine the autonomy of faculty and dismantle our informal problem solving process,” he continued, “TSSU is here to bargain a fair contract for our members, not collaborate with Human Resources’ surveillance of SFU Department Chairs.”

The TSSU did respond positively to the aspect of the deal regarding the Childcare Fund: “The only real improvement in

the package is the fix to the Childcare Fund that would actually get money into the hands of children.”

SFU is offering to assign 50 per cent of all sessional appointments to prioritize graduate students, post-docs, or discretionary hires, with the other half of the appointments being open to external hires. The TSSU does not believe that the language SFU has proposed provides seniority to sessional instructors.

Other topics of discussion at the table that made their way into the package include having work mail delivered to members on satellite campuses and not only Burnaby Campus, as well as paying members who sit on health and safety committees, which is required by law in BC. Despite being without a Collective Agreement with the TSSU for over a year, SFU cited other recent labour negotiations that have been resolved without any job action: “This lack of progress stands in stark contrast to the success SFU’s negotiating team has enjoyed recently when bargaining with our other employee groups.”

No future bargaining or mediation has been scheduled as of press time.

The UnmaskED Project will be running from September 15 until October 5, featuring a photo exhibition profiling those living with eating disorders. The project is spearheaded by SFU’s own fourth year student Claire Sieffert.

The Revolving City launch party kicks off on September 23 at 5:45 p.m. in room 1400 of SFU’s Harbour Centre campus in honour of past authors who have participated in SFU’s Lunch Poems series. Hear readings from a great sampling of local authors, enjoy free cake, and more!

NEWS BOARD SHORTS Notes from the latest SFSS board of directors meeting

GRID to revise mandate The Greek Representation and Interest Development (GRID) group was further discussed at this week’s board meeting. Members of Greek organizations attended the meeting to participate in the dialogue, advocating for their respective groups. GRID’s Letter of Agreement with the society just expired, opening up question as to how the group will operate in the future.

While the current mandate is currently “to provide a forum for open discussion on matters pertaining to Greek societies,” members present expressed that they would like GRID to function as a “coordination mechanism” for all Greek societies. This would include representing their interests, being a source of information, and allowing groups to book society space through the club.

The board encouraged them to work with the society to revise the current Letter of Agreement to reflect any new goals.

Governance Model The board of directors passed a motion to adopt a new governance model to better lay out society policies and guidelines for directors and staff. The model will be passed on to SFSS committees to fine tune some of its details.

“Even when we do get to those points of change were still going to be making some missteps along the way,” said Executive Director Martin Wyant, “That’s natural when you’re moving from one significant way of doing things to another — and one of the jobs of the governance committee is going to be making sure we’re staying on the straight and narrow.”

By Melissa Roach

September 21, 2015

5

NIGHT LIGHT

Cyclists “Light Up the Night” for mental health SFU grad organizes 20 km ride to raise awareness of mental health issues Nathan Ross SFU Student An SFU alumna’s initiative has spurred Vancouverites to get colourful to help benefit grey matter.

Lauren Eadie, a 2014 graduate, organized what she hopes to be the first of an annual event called Light Up the Night, where participants adorn their bicycles with glow sticks and ride through the night to raise awareness for mental illnesses.

Eadie, who was a kinesiology major, now works as a personal trainer and rehabilitator. She said the motivation for Light Up the Night came from earlier this year, when she was having patients referred to her by doctors who felt that physical training would be good for their mental health.

“It was the first time I had experienced people coming up with not physical disabilities, but mental illnesses,”explained Eadie.

“A lot of the time, doing these activities and exercises puts you in a meditative state of mind, a moving meditation that some people might need.”

The result was a 20 km bike ride held on Sept. 12 from Science World to Second Beach, a purposely flat route. Dozens of people showed up, ranging from riders in their early twenties to more than a few senior cyclists.

Once they completed the ride, a glow yoga session was held at Second Beach.

Since Eadie was busy taking care of all the details of the night,

she was not able to ride herself.

She asked Dylan Martyn, a good friend she made in residence her first year at SFU, to lead the ride and maintain safety.

Martyn said it was easy for him to get involved when Eadie asked, and that his biking effort was partially for himself.

“I just care about talking about mental health to the Greater Vancouver area, because a lot of people — men in particular — have struggles talking about their mental issues,” he said.

“Our philosophy is that things like exercise can go a long way when it comes to dealing with your mental health issues.”

Eadie was main driving force behind the event, with support from friends, family, and sponsors. She added that she was going to participate in it even if only ten people she knew also did so. Now, she is looking towards capitalizing on the momentum of the event and using it moving forward.

“I hope to keep this event growing, and have it get bigger and bigger, and I hope that people talk about it,” she said. “I want to make this event some- The ride took participants around the thing that everyone feels that Stanley Park seawall. they want to participate in.”

The next steps may include getting officially registered as a charity and growing this from one woman’s idea, taking the success of the inaugural event and using it to make next year even better.

In the meantime, Eadie will be doing her best to try and remove the stigma that surrounds people who suffer from mental health issues.

“These things are not forever,” she said. “It does not define a person.”

Love to work?

Love to shop?

Come Cometotothe theNews Newswriting writingworkshop workshop at 1111a.m.

Thursday,September September 24! am on Thursday 24th!

Photo couresy of Lauren Eadie

6 NEWS

Humankind can welcome a new member to their evolutionary family, thanks in part to the work of SFU researcher Mana Dembo.

Dembo is a PhD student in the Department of Archaeology and was among the first select group of scientists who examined specimens of Homo naledi in South Africa.

Said Dembo, “What’s really significant about these fossils is [. . .] the sheer number — over 1500 specimens, representing at least 15 individuals. And we have fossils from infants, to adolescents, to adults, and even older adults.” She continued, “We’re lucky if we have a handful of [hominin] fossils from a site.”

SFU has been involved with this project from the beginning.

In October of 2013, Marina Elliott, who recently completed her PhD

September 21, 2015

in the Department of Archaeology, was one of 6 scientists chosen to excavate the fossils from a cave within the Cradle of Humankind, a UNESCO World Heritage Site outside of Johannesburg.

Dembo was among over 40 scientists who responded to a call in January of 2014 to travel to Johannesburg to study the fossils at the University of Witwatersrand. She thought her PhD work, using fossils to reconstruct evolutionary relationships, would prove useful.

The international team of scientists, who hailed from the US, Canada, and the UK, among other countries, were divided into teams, each given a different section of the body. Dembo worked on the cranial material.

Said Dembo, “We described [the fossils], we analyzed them, we compared them to other known species of hominins, and eventually came to the conclusion that we had a new species which was distinct from all other species that we know of.”

One challenge facing scientists is the inability to date the fossils, “which makes it difficult to sort of slot them into

Queen’s students party too hard [KINGSTON] — During a ‘homecoming’ street party earlier this month, Queen’s University students swarmed and rocked a car with the driver still inside, causing about $800 in damages. Incidents range from the vehicle’s spoiler being ripped off to a beer bottle being thrown at a police cruiser. Many tickets and arrests were made.

Students took it upon themselves to clean up the mess and have criticized the offenders on social media. They have also raised funds to cover the damage to the car. Principal Daniel Woolf, in an email, calls these incidents an “embarrassment” to both Queen’s University and the city of Kingston.

With files from The Journal

our understanding of human evolution,” explained Dembo.

She remarked that since carbon dating requires destruction of parts of the sample it had not been attempted yet.

She added that “our understanding would change if it [we’re] 3 million years old or 30,000 years old.” Still, Dembo estimates that since Homo naledi is unlikely to be among the first members of the genus, it is most probably younger than 2.8 million years.

Alberta implements a tuition freeze [ALBERTA] — Fulfilling their election promise, the NDP has frozen tuition fees for the next two years and promised an increase in funding in post-secondary institutions.

Navneet Khinda, the Students’ Union President at the University of Alberta, is happy with the move, commenting that she has “never seen such large changes come all at once” and is “delighted to see the results.” The freeze will last for the 2015–16 and 2016–17 school years.

With files from University of Alberta Students’ Union, and CTV News Calgary

“It’s really a mosaic,” said Dembo of the entire body of the specimens. She described the cranial features of Homo naledi as “sort of a mish mash of primitive and derived features.”

There are some features that liken it to Homo erectus while the upper and lower jaw look more primitive; these features are similar to Homo rudolfensis and australopithecus.

However, she added that “their foot looks quite modern. It

U of A students excited about Chitter

looks like a modern human foot.”

Dembo and her team of researchers believe that the species, which stood at a paltry 145 cm, is of the genus Homo, the same genus that human beings belong to.

She hopes that papers from the cranial researchers will be approved for publication “imminently,” however the naming of Homo naledi as a new species has been met with controversy in the scientific community.

Tim White of The University of California told Reuters, “New species should not be created willy-nilly.”

White continued, “When you look across those [anatomical features] where it’s claimed to differ from [Homo erectus], you find that the portrayal of [Homo erectus] is often inaccurate. And only 13 of the 83 characters are even alleged to be different.”

Renowned paleontologist and project lead Lee Berger has responded to such criticisms. Berger told the same outlet that critics should not “shoot from the hip based on their pre-conceived ideas but look at these papers and give a thoughtful critique in the peerreviewed literature.”

McGill on unceded territory, is delivered notice of seizure

[EDMONTON] — A new boardbased app, Chitter, has caught U of A by storm, with downloads at 200 times per day. The team of six U of A students and alumni started the project in May, releasing the app in the fall. On Chitter, students post to a board exclusive to the University of Alberta, with content ranging from photos to dirty jokes.

Users must register using their campus email, and may remain anonymous. Users can make comments, linked to Facebook rather than being anonymous as well. “[Chitter] is a way for shy people to connect with people who aren’t shy,” commented developer Mark Galloway.

[MONTREAL] — Kahentinetha of the Bear Clan from the nearby Kahnawake Mohawk community sent a notice of seizure to McGill University, claiming there is “no evidence” that McGill had permission to build the university on the land.

One of the numerous allegations is the university was formed with a foreign royal charter rather than from the law of the land, and McGill is violating Kaia’nere:kowa (the law of Great Turtle Island) “by staying on [their] land without [their] permission.” The notice also demands the school’s military programs are halted, and the university pays its debt $1.7 billion back to the Six Nations Trust Fund.

With files from The Gateway

With files from The McGill Daily

NEWS

September 21, 2015

7

University looks to the future of research and innovation Senate announced at its September 14 meeting that plans are underway to develop an updated strategic research plan for the next five years.

President Andrew Petter announced that, along with a university wide consultation, the SFU community is invited to engage in the process through online surveys and Twitter discussions on the plan, which will be discussed in an open forum later this fall.

Senate was also reminded that the new SFU innovation strategy will be unveiled formally on October 1, the same day a new incubator and accelerator will be opened at the Vancouver campus.

This incubator is the result of a $10.7 million grant from the federal government and will focus on digital technology.

Academic accommodation motion for SFSS AGM One of the last items of the agenda was an academic accommodation motion for the Simon Fraser Student Society (SFSS) Annual General Meeting to take place on September 22.

The motion, moved by SFSS President and Senator Enoch Weng, “encourages all instructors to accommodate, without any academic penalty, any students who communicates in advance, their intent to participate in the Annual General Meeting.”

Senator Peter Tingling argued that if students wish to attend the AGM they should be prepared to accept the academic consequences. Said Tingling, “I think that it’s fundamentally wrong to encourage the idea that you can have your cake it and eat it too.”

Senator Brady Yano commented that the SFSS had looked into the logistics of hosting the AGM on SFU’s satellite campuses however the cost of the necessary conferencing technology would have been $40,000, which the board saw as prohibitive. “[This] will be the final attempt of the SFSS board to move forward with the Build SFU project,” said Yano in response to concerns raised by Senator Tracey Leacock that more requests for accommodation for AGMs could come to Senate in the future.

The motion was supported by an overwhelming majority of the senators. However, it is worth mentioning that the wording of the motion encourages, but does not enforce, accommodation.

A recent SFU study found that bullies have the lowest levels of depression, the highest levels of self-esteem, and the highest social status.

The study counters what the researchers believe to be a commonly held view — that the source of bullies’ aggression is that they are victims themselves. Often their behaviour is theorized to stem from them being maladjusted, having low self-esteem, or coming from a dysfunctional family.

However, the study found that some bullies, whom researchers called “pure bullies,” were genetically inclined toward the behaviour, as it gained them advantages over their peers.

“We were testing the idea of evolutionary theory [and the] idea that bullies evolved to exhibit certain behaviours, because those behaviours increased their ability to survive and reproduce,” explained Jennifer Wong, associate professor in SFU’s School of Criminology.

Human aggression has been known to be instrumental to our ancient ancestors for survival — in order to defend their territory, protect their young, and to attract the most ideal mate.

The researchers posed the question: is bullying an evolutionary behaviour — and is it perhaps a contemporary version of a thousand year-old trend of aggression?

The pilot study surveyed a total of 135 students from a local Vancouver high school.

More tests are needed to determine whether or not the results are consistent. “[The research] is really there to help understand why bullying is occurring,” said Wong. Future plans to research bullying at SFU will include a larger and more diverse sample, hopefully across multiple schools, and possibly with an expanded questionnaire to look at the differences within the different types of bullying.

In an interview with Global News, Rob Frennette, from Bullying Canada, expressed concerns around how parents and victims of bullying were going to interpret the information, and worried about the possibility of bullies thinking that they cannot change because it is in their genetics.

Wong clarified that a bullying gene was not what the results of the study was suggesting, and neither that bullying was somehow okay because it may have evolutionary explanations.

She added that if it was not possible to completely suppress the tendency to bully, perhaps those with bullying tendencies could be re-directed to something more productive and constructive.

Wong suggested that having more supervised competitive activities that will allow youth to “demonstrate their prowess and establish rank in a safer environment that doesn’t have victims.”

The more that can be understood about the causes for bullying, the better the researchers will be able to generate solutions and ways to intervene and prevent bullying from happening.

8

OPINIONS

The fruits of creative labour are among the most zealously guarded; who enjoys having the things they’ve poured their souls into stolen? In the information age, where intellectual property often takes on an easily-filched digital form, it’s understandable that conflicts over it are prone to escalation. However, a rather unassuming portion of the digital dimension is currently under fire.

German blog GetDigital recently broke a gag order for the noble purpose of warning fellow meme-wielders about an astonishing development: the famed ‘Socially Awkward Penguin’ meme, featuring a penguin against a captioned blue background, has gone from humorous and great to schmuck bait. Seattle-based stock photo

agency Getty Images, the image’s original source, has been fining blogs displaying the meme on the basis of copyright violation, threatening to take legal action.

Basically, you might get bullied into paying up hundreds of dollars because you thought a photo of a penguin might get a chuckle out of your readers. I don’t think it takes a lawyer to establish that this is one of the most unbelievable witch hunts in history.

Getty may have rights to that image, but their methodology in protecting those rights is closer to intimidation than anything. They’re trying to take laws designed to guard people from injustice and use them to squeeze money out of innocents, and somehow, I doubt it has anything to do with their appreciation of photography.

Although this is one of Getty’s more ridiculous moves, they actually have a reputation for being unreasonable about copyright. Most companies simply send warnings to offenders, who often take down the offensive material without complaint. Not only does Getty attempt to impose fines with no prior warning, said fines are exorbitant compared to what’s considered

Recent reports show that an estimated one in five Americans, as well as Brits, have tattoos. Although these numbers have increased from previous years, the attitude towards tattooed people seems to have remained the same. According to a Harris poll, one quarter of American, non-tattooed respondents believe people with tattoos are “less intelligent” or “less healthy.” Likewise, almost 50 per cent of interviewees said inked people are “more rebellious.” Such thinking reinforces the idea that inked people are not suitable for most occupations.

Since the beginning of the human race, tribes throughout the world have marked their bodies to display power and accomplishments. When these practices began

in the Western world, people were tattooed for similar reasons. Gang members, ex-convicts, and sailors wanted to show off their experiences by undergoing the painful process of marking their skin.

While history is filled with tattooed gents and ladies who weren’t the best apples, how many people do you know with tattoos? My guess is quite a few. Maybe you haven’t noticed the over-the-counter lady’s butterfly tattoo on her ankle, but that’s a tattoo, just like the ones Rick Genest, a.k.a. ‘Zombie Boy,’ has.

What some people fail to understand is that tattoos are no longer a radical body modification. The only difference between a tattoo you can and can’t see is its location and the motives behind it. While some might argue that a tattoo placed in a visible location could imply something bad, at least two formal studies suggest that tattooed people have virtually no difference in personality from non-tattooed people, other than a slightly increased need for harmless self-expression.

September 21, 2015

normal for unauthorized use of photos. In one case, they demanded £6,000 from a church website in England, for photos that would probably warrant a few hundred pounds at most.

Besides, Getty must realize that most, if not all, of the ‘offending’ blogs aren’t even aware that the image isn’t from the public domain. It’s been circulating the Internet for years, and it’s even had its own KnowYourMeme article since 2009; if it’s such a problem, you’d think Getty would’ve taken action before now, right?

Therefore, the notion that inked people aren’t normal people trying to live their lives like you and me is not only false, but detrimental to those who made legal decisions to become more unique, to pay homage to someone, or just to stand out from the crowd.

opinions editor email

Adam Van der Zwan opinions@the-peak.ca

The blog PetaPixel speculates that Getty is sending out ‘gag orders’ to copyright violators — basically, violators are not supposed to tell other people about the copyright violation in question (although GetDigital chose to defy it). That seems counterproductive to the goal of getting people to take it down, doesn’t it? I guess Getty really likes surprise gifts.

They totally aren’t trying to force money out of as many blogs as possible by ensuring that nobody knows that they

might want to take the photo down. Of course not. Ha ha. Ha. So ridiculous.

Do such trivial images really necessitate such harsh enforcement on the part of companies like Getty?

I don’t think anyone can say with a straight face that losing nearly a thousand dollars fits the crime of posting a penguin surrounded by a charming phrase on your website.

Forget about investigating churches and bloggers — what we need to ask is where Getty gets off using memes, of all things, as blackmail.

Certainly, in recent years the focus on self-expression has become a recurring theme in generation Y’s agenda, and thus modern companies attempt to adapt their environment to fit their worker’s needs. The best example of a body art-friendly company is Google, which

doesn’t hold a policy on tattoos in the workplace.

Although businesses are bound to become more ‘worker friendly,’ as it’s a well-known fact that a happy employee is more productive, minimum wage workers are excluded from the discussion on tattoo-friendly work environments.

The range of jobs for tattooed and unskilled workers is thus incredibly small, since a majority of minimum wage jobs require customer service. Employers often avoid hiring inked people for fear of negative repercussions from their clients, who maintain prejudiced views on tattoos.

While it’s true that one has to bear with the consequences of his or her actions, to ink your skin is far from illegal and shouldn’t be punishable by society. With the increased immersion of inked people in everyday jobs, customers will see beyond these stereotypes, and hopefully lessening the stigma of body art.

OPINIONS

What can be more frustrating than realizing your whole life has been caged by a compilation of fears? As an anxiety-ridden human being, close friends and relatives have always known me for my ‘scaredy cat’ tendencies.

I construct myself out of fear; frightening ‘what-if’ scenarios are on my mind’s most-played list. Although I told myself I

Dear Editor,

I am most excited for the student union building to be built because the centralized location of SFSS resources will improve the inclusivity of students with disabilities and [thereby] increase their participation in the SFSS community.

The DSU, club, and other student groups being all housed within one building will provide students with access to the group leaders.

Being able to put a face to a student group and having the opportunity to personally meet student leaders without having to hunt them down via email is more likely to result in a student disclosing any special accommodations they may need so they can participate. This centralized hub will make it easier for SFSS facilitators to personally refer students to the right person that can address any concerns.

The added space for conducting student events all located in one building will make them easier to find and coordinate into a student’s schedule. Being visually

September 21, 2015

could never be too careful, it was a lie — you can be too careful if it’s to the point where you aren’t really living anymore.

During the break between semesters, my Toronto friend and I decided to meet up in New York City for a fun reunion. Now, you might be thinking all sorts of positive things about the idea of spending five days in New York City with a close friend. I was excited too, but I was also more or less panicking.

The trip promised everything I avoided in everyday life: all things involved with being on an airplane, large crowds of people, navigating myself through that same crowd by myself, a slightly questionable place of residence, and of course, the ever present ‘unknown.’ In summary, I was

impaired has made me less likely to attend events when I had to figure out how to get to the event location.

The same goes for when I have had to find a specific person to ask information regarding a particular group.

SFU has become much more crowded over the last couple of years. It has become nearly impossible for me to find a place to sit and eat, or study during the day on campus. The added seating areas will increase my chances of finding a seat.

All the fun stuff being housed in one building will provide a positive pillar I can look forward to visiting when I’m not hard at work straining my mind in learning.

Sincerely, Anthony Janolino 3rd Year Health Science/ Biomedical Physiology and Kinesiology

having an existential panic attack on the five-hour plane ride to this wonderful city.

The moment I stepped off the plane, I vowed to make the most out of my trip. Although there were things that went wrong, more things went right. I came home with the realization that I had conquered many fears, talked to many strangers, and actually had a lot of fun.

Looking back, the most memorable moments of my trip weren’t the times I played it by my tacky, seamless schedule, but the chaotic spontaneity of existing in the ‘unknown.’

Everybody is afraid of something, and fear will always exist within us, only to be triggered by certain situations. That said, I believe that constantly living in anticipation of fear is paralyzing.

Living this way hinders you from achieving your fullest potential, and from taking advantage of the

great opportunities and adventures within your reach.

If you are a ‘scaredy cat’ like me, I suggest you wake up and do what I should have done a long time ago. Vow to make the most out of your life by letting go of your fears, especially the fear of oblivion.

Some fears I can’t actually overcome at this present moment — for example, horror movies and bugs still scare me to the core — but when it comes

9

to other frightening activities such as ziplining, camping in a suspended spherical tent in the woods (an actual activity on Vancouver Island!), learning to drive, and travelling, I feel almost excited to challenge these now that I know how rewarding it can be.

Fear is not worth cutting yourself short, or diminishing life-enriching activities. Fear is especially not worth compromising the moments that take your breath away, make your head spin or your heart race. Before you doubt yourself, try to push past your usual boundaries; you may find that you’re braver than you think.

10 OPINIONS

When most of us join university, we are laden with immense pressure from society, including our family, friends, the economy, and even ourselves, with expectations of whom we ought to become. As capitalism would have it, these expectations tend to be charged with ideas of coming out ‘on top.’

So what does a ‘good’ student trying to cope with this pressure do? In the words of Madagascar’s Skipper the Penguin, “just smile and wave, boys [and girls]. Smile and wave.”

The extent to which a lot of us go to keep up appearances of intelligence and control however, can prove to be quite unhealthy and regressive.

In line with the theme of birds and coping mechanisms, Stanford University coined the term ‘Duck Syndrome’ to describe how students put up positive appearances while undergoing a whirlpool of stress, anxiety, and in many cases, depression, underneath. The idea stems from how ducks appear to float seamlessly on water, while their feet work tirelessly under the surface to maintain constant motion.

If there is any link that branches our cruel, unforgiving world with that of the divine, it is sweet Canadian maple trees.

Need proof? Well firstly, maple syrup literally goes with everything.

Baked yams? Yes. Oatmeal?

Obviously. On ice cream? Duh. As a salad dressing? Of course.

There isn’t anything maple syrup can’t make better; it’s realistic to state that maple syrup is the food of all foods. Think about it, without maple syrup, pancakes

September 21, 2015

This almost perfectly describes a majority of the university experience, further exemplified by the various posts on pages like the Facebook page SFU Confessions.

I remember beginning my business undergrad at a transfer college and thinking, “this is what ‘serious people’ who want to make ‘real money’ do!” I then went on with business courses for almost two years before finally realizing how much misery and regret I had built up.

Moreover, I insisted, rather than reconsidering my decision, on maintaining the outward appearance of confidence, in an

attempt to project what a good student I was.

I was distraught, worried, and confused most of the time, and did not take the opportunity to realise that trying to keep up an appearance was robbing me of an actual education. I felt like I had made the worst decision ever, but couldn’t quit because of my commitment to the title ‘businessman.’

Eventually, however, I realised what an injustice to myself it was to suffer in silence and not take action.

With some reflection and consideration, I switched majors

are just bread. The purpose of pancakes is solely to deliver maple syrup into our mouths.

If the gentle but sweet taste of this dark and thick syrup doesn’t convince you that it’s truly a gift from a higher force, it’s worth noting how recent research suggests maple syrup is beneficial to our health, too!

If there is anyone out there who doesn’t agree that maple syrup is our connection to the Gods, then they simply aren’t human.

Dear Toronto Maple Leafs, no one likes you.

Sure, Canucks fans trashed and set fire to their own city after losing a game, but at least we have passion.

I’ve never seen a team play with such apathy, and fans cheer so pretentiously. While you may be part of the original six teams to form the NHL, this doesn’t speak to your skill level. I’ve seen first graders skate with more grace.

to Communication while still maintaining a minor in Business. Honestly, I couldn’t be happier with my decision! To a great extent, I relieved myself of an imaginary and ill-fitting standard that was holding me back.

With the competitive nature of everything these days, it comes as no surprise that many of us are committed to things we do not intrinsically believe in. Many of us try at all costs to appear as though we have it all together, in an attempt to stay in an unhealthy game.

I believe that taking time to reflect on one’s personal needs before

Just because your team name pays homage to the beautiful maple trees of Canada, doesn’t mean you have to be as idle as them on the ice. Seriously, Disney on Ice has a better chance of making the playoffs.

Lastly, Leafs fans, have you ever considered why the Hockey Hall of Fame is located in Toronto? The answer is quite simple; it’s the only way you will ever get to see the Stanley Cup.

considering what society expects from you is far more valuable. Without sounding too much like yet another ‘do what you love’ advocate, I simply urge everyone to make healthier decisions and seek help when you can. Don’t be afraid of change when you have the ability to do so, especially if it is for the better.

We are never alone in our struggles. Most of the people we walk by each day probably feel or have felt the same way we do, but simply refuse to show it. Do not let this fool you into sustaining bad situations, but make active choices to change things for the better.

OPINIONS

In 1965, SFU opened its doors for the first time and filled its lecture halls. Since then, the school has developed a reputation as being one of the leading comprehensive universities — notable politicians, artists, athletes, and researchers alike call this school their alma mater.

But SFU’s success has had its downsides. Unlike other universities such as UBC, SFU had to expand quite rapidly to accept more students as it grew in rank.

As a result, many of our older buildings have gone by uncared for since we spent our funds on expansion plans.

And this brings me to why we need to vote ‘no’ to Build SFU. With SFU’s poor maintenance, now we need to fix SFU. In a deferred maintenance report released by the SFSS and the GSS, the total estimated replacement cost of the buildings at SFU Burnaby is approximately $1.8 billion.

September 21, 2015

As the SFSS suggests, and the GSS agrees with, “deferred maintenance refers to the routine repairs and upkeep required to keep buildings operating normally that have been postponed later than would be usually acceptable.” According to the same report, usually financial circumstances govern these kinds of decisions. If funding for general maintenance has been an issue, moving forward with the SUB seems very irresponsible.

We’ve all seen the work around campus that needs to be done. Even those who have just started their time here at SFU have probably noticed mould, poorly maintained infrastructure, and broken equipment.

So long as our campus is crumbling around us, we shouldn’t be going all-in on a new infrastructure endeavour. Our priority should be put on existing buildings that host SFU’s academics. The SUB is a project that does not align with this criteria. It goes as far as to include gaming rooms and karaoke.

The SUB’s focus on carnivalesque pleasure is a less than subtle reminder that this building is not actually a necessity. But our deferred maintenance is essential — as an institution, we cannot move forward until we’ve finished repairing the existing campuses.

Besides, deferred maintenance isn’t the only reason to vote this project down; it’s outside SFU students’ zone of affordability.

The SFSS has reported that by 2022, students would be paying an extra $90 a semester to help finance this project. Over the course of a degree, at that rate, this can cost any given student $1,000 or more. Speaking as a working student, I just can’t afford this, and I don’t think others can either. The added burden will result in more loans and more stress, and that’s just not what we students need.

Furthermore, I question whether SFU truly needs a SUB to foster students’ happiness. There are many more cost effective ways of developing a community on campus. The National Survey of Student Engagement (NSSE), earlier this year, found that 16 per cent

of first-year students ranked SFU the way it currently is, without a SUB, as “excellent,” and 56 per cent ranked it as “good,” while senioryear students’ ranks had similar results. Which begs the question: do we genuinely need this?

The fact of the matter is that the Build SFU project is not the solution that students are looking for, but a luxury that the university and its students can’t afford.

Moreover, this is a very Burnaby-centric project that fails our satellite campuses and all the students unable to make it to the AGM. This vote could have been done online or via the spring referendum, but the SFSS has insisted that would be too expensive. This kind of voter suppression should set off red flags

11

for all SFU students. If we are to go down the SUB path, we need to have a clear consensus that encompasses a much larger portion of the SFU student body.

While the SUB may provide fun, it won’t actually address the core maintenance, tuition, and democratic problems students face. We have developed a campus community and identity without a SUB, and that will continue to grow even if we vote this project down. The SFSS needs to adjust their priorities to reflect those of the student body, and you can remind them of that fact by attending the Annual General Meeting on September 22 and voting ‘no’ to this project.

Forget #BuildSFU. It’s time to #FixSFU.

12

ARTS

In the face of serious climate change, environmental crises, and a federal election campaign, perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised that scientists are emerging as the “new political radicals” in Canada, as the film Running on Climate says. Produced and directed by Robert Alstead and co-produced by Joanna Clarke, the documentary introduces us to these scientistactivist leaders in BC, perhaps the only politicians who will remind us of what we learned in science class: if you have a finite system, you cannot have exponential growth.

arts editor email

September 21, 2015

The insightful film tells the story of Dr. Andrew Weaver, a Nobel-Prize-winning climate scientist at the University of Victoria, who decided to try a different kind of experiment by running for political office. Equipped with a passion to “change things from the inside,” he ran for election for the BC Green Party which, in its 30 year lifespan, had never won a seat. He was driven by the idea that “if the politicians are not dealing with [climate change], what we need is people to get elected who aren’t afraid to raise this issue, to discuss this issue, and who are doing it in a manner that is not thinking about their reelection, but are doing it in the best interests of broader society.”

Lynne Quarmby, awardwinning professor and Chair of Microbiology and Biochemistry at SFU, is a leader in the dual profession of scientist and activist. Perhaps best known for her arrest on Burnaby Mountain last year for civil obedience

in opposing the Kinder Morgan TransMountain Pipeline Expansion Project, she too has stepped up to the political plate to stand up for our planet.

Tired of hearing from MLAs,

MPs, and groups like the Vancouver Port Authority and so on who, according to Quarmby, say “it’s not our job to think about climate change,” she took things into her own hands and is now a Green Party of Canada candidate in the new riding of Burnaby North-Seymour.

Igniting civic engagement around environmental and

Tessa Perkins arts@the-peak.ca

social issues on top of her established career in academia is no easy task, but, she states, “the SFU community has been very supportive.” On the campaign so far, she notes that her “immersion into the political process has been transformative.” Concerning her probability of winning, she notes, “if everyone who tells me that I’m the best candidate votes for me, then I will win by a landslide.”

Weaver’s campaign in the film is set against the backdrop of serious climate injustice in BC, Canada, and the world. The film introduces us to the political battle to tackle climate change, and the scientists who are called to act politically.

David Suzuki, who has endorsed Quarmby’s campaign, explains why our scientists are

needed in office: “These are people who are going to have to make major decisions about carbon capture and storage, geo-engineering, iron filings in the ocean, and the spread of mountain pine beetles over the rocky mountains.

“How the hell do you make a decision on this if you don’t at least have some sort of scientific background?”

SFU’s academic leaders have been at the forefront of this battle. Kirsten Zickfeld, a climate scientist and SFU geography professor, also stars in the film, as well as Mark Jaccard, an Environmental Economist at SFU. Jaccard states, “I believe that science is unequivocal, that climate change is a huge ecological and humanitarian crisis of our age.”

At the core of this film is hope and determination. Hope that Canadians will take climate change seriously so that we can start solving the problem, and the determination to get science a seat in parliament.

ARTS

September 21, 2015

13

COMIC CONNOISSEUR

On paper, a comic book crossover is everything you ever wanted and just a little bit more. It gives readers a chance to see dissimilar characters team up in unique ways. As well as this, it allows audiences to enjoy larger than life epics where the stakes of good versus evil have never been higher.

However, in reality, the crossover in the comic book industry has become more synonymous with a cash grab than a timeless masterpiece.

These days the average crossover is more concerned with generating the attention of new readers and bringing in a temporary boost in sales.

However, not all crossovers are so unabashed to economic frivolousness; there are still some that take care to tell good stories.

Jeff Lemire, Matt Kindt, and Paolo Rivera’s The Valiant is a story which brings together all the heroes of Valiant Comics against a millennia old adversary who threatens the safety of the whole

world. While this crossover has its share of fun and heartfelt moments, it ultimately leaves readers wanting more — and not in the good way.

The story follows the Eternal Warrior, an ageless guardian to the Earth who has been locked in a tumultuous feud with The Immortal Enemy, a force of nature out for destruction. After centuries of defeat, The Eternal Warrior dispatches the help of every hero available to end the conflict once and for all. What ensues is a battle for the ages — except not really.

Just when readers are starting to get settled in for an action-packed comic equivalent to a blockbuster popcorn flick, the story ends just on the precipice of gaining momentum. The saying often goes that less is more, but in this case of The Valiant, there were hardly enough scenes in the story’s entirety to justify a conflict, never mind an epic crossover.

The Valiant is in a lot of ways like the first Avengers film. It features a ragtag

assortment of heroes all coming together to save the world.

The only difference is that in The Valiant, considerably more characters are present, and even less backstory is given to those with important scenes in the story. There is just not enough time dedicated in the story to allow audiences to grow any attachment to the ensemble of heroes.

Paolo Rivera’s artwork is perhaps the one true constant in this action-packed graphic novel.

Well-constructed pencils bring to life the characters and setting of The Valiant in a really visually stimulating manner. Rivera shows a magnificent amount of versatility as he draws scenes of the story from all kinds of different historic timelines. Above all, though, Rivera’s art achieves a perfectly harmonious balance; it is visually exciting and easy to consume, but still heavy with exposition and wellcharacterized mannerisms.

The Valiant is an actionpacked miniseries with its share of cool characters and badass moments. However, the story suffers ultimately by being too short. The Valiant could have been foreseeably more entertaining if the conflict had been stretched out to focus on more of the main characters and supporting cast.

Plugged in acoustic music does not bring to mind the concerts that bring the house down, but, as proved in the Orpheum on September 9, it can be done. The performances of Passenger and opening act Gregory Alan Isakov were both masterfully done, and all the more impressive due to the fact that there was only one performer on stage with a plugged in acoustic guitar.

At the beginning of his set there were few people in the audience who were aware of Isakov, but by the end of his set there was a murmur throughout the crowd asking who had just performed. Isakov is by no means new to the music scene, having released five albums to date with another currently in the post-production phase.

This lack of audience knowledge seems to be more symptomatic of the indie-folk genre rather than being correlated to the volume of music that a single artist can produce. The commitment to the craft of songwriting and production is more important for these artists than commercial success, although, as Isakov pointed out, one of his songs was featured in a Christmas commercial for McDonald’s (“Big Black Car,” which was performed with virtually no distinction between the live and recorded versions).

He also managed to gain a significant amount of crowd support for admitting to never having eaten at a McDonald’s, studying organic farming, and donating all the proceeds from his commercial to supporting small organic farming initiatives.

The opportunity to meet him after the show also proved how grounded he is as a person. Isakov is easy to talk to and has a lot of love for his fans, and when asked what his favourite part about performing in Vancouver was, he responded with the venue, and how he felt lucky to be given the opportunity to perform in such a beautiful setting.

Passenger’s set was equally wonderful, and the masterful weaving of storytelling throughout the set made the whole experience feel truly intimate. It also helped that the audience was there solely for the music. With the silence in the venue it felt like he was performing to just for you.

Passenger, however, ran into the same kind of widespread knowledge issues that befell Isakov, except that in Passenger’s case it was emphasized due the commercial success of “Let Her Go.” This, however, did not seem to phase Passenger as he had resigned himself early on in his career not to chase commercial success, but to make the music that he wanted to make.

So while there were many members of the audience who only knew “Let Her Go,” there was also the thrill of being in a room full of people who made the same musical discovery at the same time. If anyone in the room was not convinced about Passenger’s love of music, the stories that he told about the creation of some of his songs definitely changed their minds.

The story that he told about the Australian man who he met in Denmark while busking was particularly moving and created a much deeper meaning to the song “Travelling Alone.”

Passenger and Gregory Alan Isakov are two artists who should not be missed live. The storytelling that they integrate into their sets, along with staying faithful to the indiefolk and singer-songwriter genres, makes their performances intimate and highly nuanced.

14 ARTS

September 21, 2015

Photo courtesy of rogerebert.com

After arriving at my hotel, picking up my press pass, and standing in line at the public screening of Son Of Saul, it occurred to me that this is nothing like the film festival experience to which I’m accustomed. People outside are howling at the slightest glimpses of celebrities, drivers are barking at the congested traffic, and a man in line at Subway growled at an employee because they only had flatbread left. Toronto has been turned into a zoo, and sometimes it’s hard not to be an animal.

These three films were the highlights of my time at the Toronto International Film Festival.

Although not mutually exclusive by any means, I think Denis Villeneuve would prefer to consider Sicario a political statement more than a run-of-the-mill thriller. Without a doubt, exploitive genre movies can be political, but oftentimes what makes Villeneuve’s films distinct is their approach to violence. A gunshot, a corpse, a suggestion of torture: violent elements associated with genre are not to “thrill” but to meditate on their psychological and social impact.

Kate Macer (played by the fantastic Emily Blunt) is an FBI agent who volunteers to join a task force to stop drug cartels from laundering money and distributing drugs. The desensitized Matt Graver ( Josh Brolin) and enigmatic Alejandro (Benicio Del Toro) head

the team while Macer, moral and by-the-book, struggles to justify their illegal and violent techniques that perpetuate the cycle of violence, which allegedly is a deplorable means to a worthwhile end.

From the opening moments, in one of the most disturbing set-pieces I can remember, Sicario starts with taut intensity and never lets up until its tragic and perceptive denouement.

The action sequences are deftly conceived from all technical standpoints: the soundtrack’s deafening brass score is haunting, and Roger Deakins’ rapturous anamorphic cinematography ominously hints at the characters’ dead conscience with shots of dead landscapes.

This new film from Charlie Kaufman is about life’s tediousness: the constant struggle to open a hotel door, the nuisance of generic interactions with strangers, and love found but quickly lost. Slowly tracking Michael, a motivational speaker who talks at conferences for customer service workers, the film moves with the levity, slowness, and heartbreak of Lost In Translation — but with inventive surreality. When Michael arrives in a luxurious hotel to do a talk the following day, every person he encounters has exactly the same face and generic male voice regardless of whether they’re male or female. After quickly chatting with his wife and son, Michael fails to reconnect with an old girlfriend and decides to get drunk. But then there she is: Lisa, someone new, different, an anomaly with a unique face and a distinct female voice.

Not surprisingly, Anomalisa has no distributor. The commercial prospects of a droll claymation film with a slow pace

and cerebral tone are slight, but Kaufman, who wrote some of the best movies of the last decade, is deeply observant and attuned to Michael’s loneliness and alienation. Although smaller in scope than Synecdoche and New York, his last opus, Anomalisa is still brutally effective, finding the yearning in awkward exchanges and subtle details.

A couple of French 15-yearolds have to make life-changing decisions when they find out they will be having a child. I shed my first, second, third, fourth, and fifth tear of the festival at this warm and unforgettable film.

Shot and edited like Guillaume Senez’s fellow Belgian countrymen the Dardenne brothers, Keeper has an unobtrusive visual style where every cut and camera movement feel natural. There is never a flashy moment or an instance where style trumps substance. Sometimes long takes are used to give the audience an immediate window into the world, but other times there is a montage or a shot/ shot sequence. Senez is like a carpenter, always choosing the right tool for the job.

We view his characters from without yet always understand them from within. Keeper’s subversive and novel point of view, which follows this teen couple’s pregnancy from the powerless male perspective, could have been controversial if it was rigid or condescending. But Senez doesn’t judge the girl’s mother who wants to seek an abortion just as he doesn’t get behind the boy and his parents who prefer to keep the child. He simply views the heartache of two babies who have to decide if they want to raise another.

After 10 years, Joe Laughlin is returning to the stage to dance in 4our, a monumental work featuring four dancers spanning 30 years.

Laughlin is joined by Gioconda Barbuto, Kevin Tookey, and Heather Dotto. This cross-generational collaboration touches on the themes of memory, family, history, and bridging the divide between different generations as it explores the many milestones of our lives.

Laughlin has known Barbuto since 1985 and they have worked together over the years; he met Tookey when he was 17, and has been working with him for the past four years; he met Dotto three years ago when she performed in Joe Ink’s 25-year retrospective.

“We found a unique chemistry,” said Laughlin, explaining that the creative process involved evoking memories and exploring how they formulate over time. Through their different experiences and cultural touch points, the four dancers each brought a unique perspective to this piece. While Laughlin conceived, choreographed, and directs the work, he said that he always works in a collaborative manner with the dancers. “We had a lot of conversations translated into physical equations,” he said.

Although the show is about the major moments in our lives, it doesn’t follow a linear narrative, as is so often the case with dance, especially contemporary dance.

“We’re coming to a time where there’s more older dancers still engaged,” explained Laughlin. “I was inspired by working with these other dance artists. I had been thinking about the mature dancer and aging.” His own return to the stage felt natural in many ways, but he admits, “I struggled to get back

to rehearsing four to five hours per day.” He originally thought of returning to the stage for a piece like this while choreographing a solo for Barbuto. “I thought maybe I’ll go in and move with her and that would inform me,” he said, and once he was in the studio it felt right. As he said, “you’re always a dancer in your soul.”

Laughlin did have to do some work to get back into shape, and he said that Barbuto helped with that process. “She helped me to navigate my way back into my body,” he said. With age comes finding a new way to be in your body, he explained.

There is a lot of muscle memory, but there is also a need to learn what the body is still capable of and to reconnect memories to movement. “Sometimes I have to reign it in and be thoughtful about what my body can do,” he said, “but at the same time there’s an emotional intention driving the movement.”

The set will feature wooden furniture pieces to create a striking scene, and there will also be video projections bringing a kind of otherworldly, magical element to the show. “It’s a representation of society in a way,” Laughlin explained, saying that the various pairings and groupings of dancers each have a significance. “It’s different to have a 50-year-old and a 29-year-old on stage together — even visually,” said Laughlin. “I like the look of us all together, the range of ages.”

Laughlin feels strongly that we’re lacking intergenerational interaction, and Joe Ink’s Move It program addresses this by providing a physical literacy program that often brings together teenagers and seniors. “You see how the different generations affect each other,” he said. “I was inspired by that; I think society’s lost that.”

While Laughlin said that he would like the audience to leave the theatre entertained, he also hopes they will have an emotional connection to the work.

“I hope we invite them to think about people in their lives that have moved them. I hope it evokes memories for them.”

ARTS

September 21, 2015

I’ll understand if the name Coeur de Pirate fails to register with you.

Despite eight years’ worth of material, including three original studio full-lengths and one album of covers, the stage moniker for FrenchCanadian artist Beatrice Martin doesn’t command the immediate attention it probably should. A Quebec native and musician since the ripe age of three, most of Martin’s accolades so far have been those reserved for French musicians — but the standard seems

The Highland Pub has some good craft beer, but that doesn’t mean your quest for craft should stop there. Here are the three best craft beer bars within a reasonable distance of each SFU campus.

Burnaby — Hop and Vine Pub, 1601 burnwood drive, Burnaby The Highland’s cheap food and good beer is a great option, but it’s not open on weekends, so where does this leave you?

The Hop and Vine Pub. Located on the south slope of the mountain in a strip mall with a creepy tiny grocery store straight outta 1986, you’ll find this pub nestled in among a residential community. The Hop and Vine has helped cultivate the craft beer industry by providing a venue for a many events and beer pairing dinners, and its ever-changing tap list should be respected for a suburban pub.

Must Drink: Moody Ales Affable IPA or Yellow Dog Play Dead IPA, two of the most local, and best, IPAs going.

Surrey — Central City Brew Pub, 13450 102 Ave, Surrey This one should be obvious by now. The Central City Brewery was at the forefront of the craft beer revolution winning Canadian Brewery of the Year twice in the early part of the decade

(they’re basically the Edmonton Oilers of craft beer. . . wait, never mind). They have their killer line of Red Racer beers, which arguably set the bar for all other BC beers, and more recently they have launched a second line of beers under the “Central City” brand. So, they have two great line-ups of beer available in house. Even cooler are their guest taps providing you great beers from other breweries all under one roof — by the way, the roof is shared with the SFU surrey Campus.

Must Drink: Red Racer IPA, the first great BC IPA. Downtown — Alibi Room, 157 Alexander St, Vancouver Sure this one is a bit of a stretch, but when you have arguably the best craft beer bar in BC a few extra blocks away, you walk a few extra blocks away. Alibi Room sits on the outskirts of gas town, straddling the geographical location between cool and scary, making it kind of badass. Within its brick adorned walls you find over 50 taps of hard-to-find craft beers from BC, Washington, Oregon, and elsewhere. When a new brewery opens up, they haven’t really “made it” until they get a keg on at Alibi. Plus, how cool would it be if you were accused of a crime and the police asked where you were, and you were legitimately at the Alibi Room?

They’ve got you covered.

Must Drink: Howe Sound Megadestroyer Imperial Licorice Stout, made just for the Alibi Room!

poised to be shattered with her latest album, the grandiose Roses.

In the past I might have filed Martin’s music under the madeup genre of “French heartbreakpop,” but this might now be a dated assertion with Martin’s latest foray. A lot has changed for the singer since 2011’s Blonde, including (but not limited to) marriage and motherhood, and the maturity that inevitably comes with such major life events are aptly reflected in the album.

There are still notes of tragedy in Coeur’s fourth studio album, but there’s a lightness that’s unfamiliar to her discography. Look to lead single “Carry On” for an example of how Coeur’s style has shifted: while still several notches lower than other notoriously upbeat acts (think Brooklyn’s Matt & Kim), the track would be better fitted for, say, a pleasant bike ride

15

along the seawall than for an emotional breakup. Even “I Don’t Want to Break Your Heart,” a song about the reluctant but eventual acceptance of the end of a relationship, features a verse from Minnesota rapper Allan Kingdom.

Aside from the tone, the most notable shift in Coeur’s latest is the expanded presence of English in Martin’s songwriting. (If we’re being specific, only four of Roses’ 11 tracks have French titles, including a French version of “Carry On.”) Martin has stated she’s interested in reaching a wider audience, an understandable goal for any musician, though I can see how the transition might be alienating to those used to hearing Martin sing in her native language.

Overall, Roses marks a bold departure for Martin in the form of a glass half-full, bilingual gem.

16

SPORTS

September 21, 2015

sports editor email

Nick Bondi sports@the-peak.ca

w

w

SFU played Trinity Western in an exhibition match last Thursday at the Langley Events Centre. The team lost 3–2 in overtime, with goals from forward Graham Smerek and defenceman Mathew BerryLamontagna. Their next game will be on the road against the Providence Friars, the reigning NCAA Division I champions.

With the start of training camps around the corner for the National Hockey League, one could get the feeling that the league is relieved that its players are back to work and aren’t getting into trouble. Maybe it’s time we stopped trying to brush these problems under the rug.

It has been an offseason the NHL will want to forget, with many of its star players getting into trouble with the law, such as Patrick Kane of the Chicago Blackhawks being accused of sexual assault, and Ryan O’Reilly of the Buffalo Sabres crashing his truck due to drunk driving.

The Los Angeles Kings had the trifecta of now then-players Jarret Stoll, Mike Richards, and Slava Voynov become infamous due to charges of possession of a controlled substance, being arrested and investigated for possession of oxycodone after attempting to cross the border, and being sentenced to jail time for domestic abuse, respectively.

The NHL has had an increasing number of problems in the past few seasons, ranging from the aforementioned domestic abuse to its treatment of women as fans to its ongoing problem with rape and rape culture. Even with all that being the tip of the iceberg, articles are constantly being written trying to dismiss these actions, like this following lede from Pierre LeBrun, posted on ESPN. “The NHL is not accustomed to headlines involving arrests and court dates,” says LeBrun, falsely. “That’s normally for other sports leagues.”

This sentiment has been prevalent around media and fans throughout this time, treated as a “Please like my sport!” attitude, trying to highlight a sport which is trying to separate itself from the other major sports in North America despite drawing nowhere near the same viewership.

Ari Yanover, the managing editor at Calgary Flames blog Matchsticks and Gasoline, believes that this attitude that the media promotes is downright wrong.

“Hockey journalism is a mess,” she said. “Of course, hockey itself is a mess, but all hockey journalism really does is contribute to it. It’s as if it only exists to serve its master,

The team travelled to Hawaii on the 12th to play Hawaii Pacific University. The final score was 1–0, courtesy of a goal from junior Olivia Aguiar. Goalkeeper Priya Sandhu made one save for the clean sheet. The team’s next home game will be against Central Washington University on Thursday.

never to question it, which seems to be pretty much the opposite of what journalism is supposed to be.

“Hockey likes to present itself as this all-important, historic, mystic environment that’s beyond reproach, and it couldn’t be further from the truth.”

Yanover says that if the media allows the NHL to believe that it doesn’t have a problem, then it will never improve its standards.

Here at SFU, the men’s hockey program feels as though the team is capable of ensuring they represent themselves as athletes and the school as whole, and doesn’t have to actively ensure the students aren’t becoming a liability.

“It’s not really about speeches before games,” said Chris Munshaw, director of

hockey operations. “It’s more just that on a day-to-day basis on how they hold themselves [. . .] they understand that they’re in a privileged position to wear the logo and represent the brand of Simon Fraser University.”

To their credit, the team does have a meeting during the pre-season to go over expectations, and have the players go out and get involved in the community, mentoring at local schools and rinks.

It helps give the players a sense of who is out there watching them, and the effect they can have on their fans. To date, SFU hockey has never been involved in a major scandal.

However, that approach isn’t a viable option for the big leagues. These are men who are worshipped from as early as 15, and don’t always have to face up to the consequences of their actions. Yanover believes that if the NHL wants to have any chance of improving its players,

it needs to take a look at a different North American sports league.

“Look towards the CFL, which has implemented league-wide policies for literally every aspect of league life, from staff to players to fans attending games,” she explained.

“That’s a league that has taken steps to work with people who know what they’re doing in these fields, to ensure every single person involved with the CFL knows how to conduct themselves, and a league that will remove offending parties if determined necessary.

Of course, this has not completely eliminated the problem in the league. In 2013, receivers Taj Smith and Eron Riley, as well as defensive back Dwight Anderson, were all arrested on charges of aggravated assault.

Only time will tell if the National Hockey League can take a serious look at the charges and allegations facing its players lately, and work towards making serious change for the better. Until that happens, the cult of personality surrounding the NHL player is here to stay.

Each Friday, SFU athletics will be releasing parts of their “50 most incredible moments in Clan history.” Last week they released numbers 45–41, which included Andrew Corazza’s 81 goals in 69 games for the men’s soccer team. The top five moments will be released on November 13.

Junior Rebecca Bassett won the Ash Creek invitational for the women’s team. She finished with a time of 16:28.1, beating the 2nd placed runner by 5/100th of a second. On the men’s side, junior Oliver Jorgenson placed 8th, finishing just over a minute behind the eventual winner from Chico State.

SPORTS

September 21, 2015

September has arrived, and with it the 2015–2016 UEFA Champions League group stage. There is the potential of plenty of gorgeous goals and heart stopping saves, so this season is bound to be a doozy. Here are my thoughts on each group: Group A will have 2014 champions Real Madrid face off against rising European power PSG, who hope that their new signing Angel Di Maria will help the Ligue 1 winners win their first ever Champions League title. PSG’s Zlatan Ibrahimovi will also be excited at the opportunity to showcase his talents back in his home country, as Sweden’s Malmo FF was drawn into his group.

Group B will see the return of Manchester United to European action after a one year hiatus. Buoyed

by their big-money signings Memphis Depay and Anthony Martial, they’ll hope to overcome a tough opening day loss to Depay’s former team PSV, as well as navigate CSKA Moskva and VfL Wolfsburg.

If you’re both a soccer fanatic and a geography nerd, then Group C is just what the doctor ordered. Benfica and Kazakhstani debutants Astana are both in the group, and the travel distance between the two clubs is approximately 7350 km, the longest ever in Champions league history. What Astana might lack in skill they more than make up for in unpronounceable (and therefore awesome) names.

They’ll hope that starting the likes of Zhakyp Kozhamberdy and Bauyrzhan Dzholchiev will help baffle the other teams into submission.

Manchester City will be wondering what they did to anger the soccer gods after they were put into Group D, arguably one of this season’s toughest groups.

To advance to the final 16, they’ll have to get through last year’s Europa league winners Sevilla, last year’s Champions League runners up Juventus, and

Borussia Monchengladbach.

Their task is made even tougher after their opening day loss to Juve, who came back from a 1–0 deficit to beat them.

Last year’s champions Barcelona have a relatively simple task ahead of them in Group E. Their opponents Bayer Leverkusen, Roma, and Belarusians BATE Borisov will definitely put up a fight, but Messi and Suarez should have no problem making the next round, even after their draw with Roma.

Arsenal fans will be dusting off their well-worn Lederhosen

Former SFU men’s basketball guard Sango Niang has signed a professional contract with the Estudiantes Concordia of the Liga Nacional de Básquet (National Basketball League), the top Argentinian basketball league.

“It feels great, it’s everything I’ve been playing for, and I feel like all the hard work I put in was worth it,” said Niang over the phone.

“It was a nerve-wracking experience, it was my first time being a free agent, which means you miss school. I got the text message at 3 a.m. telling me I got the offer, and from there it just all went uphill.”

Niang led the Great Northwest Conference (GNAC) in points scored last season with 587 points

in 26 games for an average of 22.6 points per game. He also led the conference in assists, and notching the eighth-most assists in the entire NCAA Division II. He spent two years at SFU, having transferred from Chaffey Community College in Rancho Cucamonga, CA. Born in Paris, France, Niang was a late bloomer, having only started playing the sport in his freshman year in high school.

Missing the cut in his sophomore year, Niang made the team his junior and senior years, but didn’t get much playing time.

At Chaffey, he was initially told to redshirt; however, after a 27 point pre-season game, he was made a starting point guard.

Since then, Niang has proven himself as a top-tier player at the collegiate level, and has held his own against NBA stars in the Drew League.

Now, Niang will take his talents to Concordia, Argentina, a city of nearly 160,000 people on the Argentina-Uruguay border.

Last year, the Estudiantes made

the playoffs, but were eliminated before the finals. He is expected to be the team’s starting point guard, despite his youth and height.

“My role is to be the starting point guard, play 30-plus minutes, and they said I have a huge responsibility to get wins,” he said. “They said it’s a gamble [to take me] because I’m young, 21 years old, and our team’s average age is 29, our team’s average height is 6’7 [Niang is 6’0] all they said is that they are putting a lot of faith in me and they trust that I can get the program some wins.”

The team plays its first game Wednesday, September 23.

Niang will be joining a team already midway through the preseason, and left home to join them Wednesday.

“Training camp has already started,” he explained.

“Honestly, my goal is to improve from last year, get more wins, and put my foot in the door for professional basketball, and hopefully everything I did in college can translate and I will make a big impact on this team.”

as they prepare to visit German opposition for the fifth straight season. Bayern Munich vs Arsenal will be the marquee matchup in Group F and should decide who tops the group. Though the other two sides, Olympiacos and Dinamo Zagreb, definitely have talent, the German and English giants should navigate comfortably into the next round.

Someone who might have trouble traversing the treacherous tides of the group stage is Jose Mourinho and his Chelsea side. Their horrendous start to the

17

league campaign has them sitting 17th in the Premier League, and has definitely given hope to Group G sides FC Porto, Dynamo Kyiv, and even Maccabi Tel-Aviv that they could potentially defeat the lads from London.

Finally, Group H brings us probably the most even group, containing the likes of Russian Champions Zenit St. Petersburg, Valencia, Lyon, and Gent. Zenit and Valencia might be slight favourites, but both know a slight slip up will open the door wide open for the other two clubs.

SFU ATHLETICS

18 SPORTS

SFU traveled down to Monmouth, Oregon to face GNAC conference rival Western Oregon University on September 12 in a non-conference game. The Clan opened up their season under new head coach Kelly Bates with a loss in which SFU seemed to outplay their opponents.

On the first drive of the game, senior quarterback Ryan Stanford was able to spread the ball around as he completed passes to running back Ante Milanovic-Litre and receivers Justin Buren and Earl Anderson. The effort helped move the chains on the first few drives; however, no points were scored and SFU was forced to punt.

The SFU defense, led by 2014 GNAC Defensive Player of the Year Jordan Herdman, looked sharp to start the game. Unfortunately, penalties hurt the defense as an interception by Jordan Herdman on second and 13

Thursday night the SFU women’s volleyball team played host to the Seattle Pacific Falcons in what I can only describe as one of the best SFU athletics games I have ever seen. The team battled back from being down two games to none and won it in five games, and won the last set by just two points.

SFU started terribly. After scoring the first point of the game, they conceded next eight straight points and were quickly down by a lot. SFU crawled back later on to make it 17–13, but Seattle Pacific then took control and won the set 25–18. The second set wasn’t any better. After taking an early 2–1

was cancelled due to a ‘roughing the passer’ call on defensive lineman Martin Duckhorn.

Within the first minute of the second quarter, WOU was able to score on a fifty-three yard punt return by preseason All-American receiver Paul Revis. A missed extra point kept the score at 6–0 with 14:36 left to play in the first half.

Junior Josh Hayden helped the offense answer back on their first drive of the second quarter by catching a pass for forty yards and capping the drive off with a four yard rushing touchdown.

Hayden would finish the game with 82 yards rushing on 20 carries and 82 yards receiving.

Quarterback Ryan Stanford was able to engineer a drive in the third quarter that featured a crucial 16 yard reception on third down by Buren and a stealthy touchdown pass to Hayden in the corner of the end zone to cap it off. The Wolves quickly answered back against the SFU defense, and within four plays WOU was in the end zone yet again.

Momentum was still in favor of the Clan, as Stanford connected with receiver Sam Swerhone for 39 yards in the final minutes of

lead, Seattle Pacific once again took control, making a number of great digs and winning the set 25–22.

“I basically asked them, ‘can we play better’?” said head coach Gina Schmidt, referring to her team talk after the first two sets. “I was at a little bit of a loss. I hadn’t seen us come out that slow in a match yet this season, and I was at a loss as to

September 21, 2015

the third quarter. This positioned kicker Tiernan Docherty for a 48-yard field goal attempt that was blocked and returned by the Wolves to their own 40-yard line.

The consequences of lacking position depth and experience seemed to finally catch up to the Clan as WOU scored two consecutive touchdowns in the fourth quarter to take the lead 25–14.

SFU rallied for a chance to bring the game within three points as

who to put back on the floor [. . .] Is it insanity to keep doing the same thing, to put the same people out?

Or can we just play better? I had confidence that they could, because I’ve seen us play better.

The third set belonged to SFU. This time they were able to get off to a great start, and never trailed in the entire set. Seattle Pacific hit a couple of their serves into the

Stanford connected with Buren for a 31-yard reception that helped position the offense for a first and ten on the Wolves own 16-yard line. Two plays later and the Wolves were celebrating a pick-six for a comfortable 17 point lead with 1:02 left in the game. Stanford finished the game with 333 passing yards while also throwing one touchdown and two interceptions.

“I loved the fight we had today, but we are not good enough yet to

keep it going the entire game,” said Bates after his first game leading the Clan. “We competed hard and had our foot on their throats, but we couldn’t finish them off.” SFU finished the game leading in many statistical categories, but costly mistakes hurt them in the end.

The Clan will look to bounce back at home September 19, hosting the defending GNAC champion Azusa Pacific University Cougars.

net, certainly in large part due to the SFU football team that was in attendance: they did their best to distract the opposing players and get the crowd riled up. In the fourth set, momentum was strongly in the Clan’s favour. They once again got off to an early lead, and after a fantastic back and forth rally made it 20–16, they won the set 25–20.

But the best was yet to come.

The fifth set started off poorly for SFU, as they were down 8–1 early on. But after, it was an extremely tense back and forth affair. Fortune seemed to favour SFU when two Seattle Pacific players collided and allowed SFU to tie it 12–12. “I was just thinking ‘it’s just a game’” said player Christine Howlett afterwards. “That calms me down.”

After a SFU time out at 14–14, the team scored the next two points, winning the set 16–14 and capping off a miraculous comeback.

“We’ve been in a lot of those situations this season, in terms of five set matches. I felt like we’ve been there before, and that for some reason find ways to win when we’re up against the wall. Our team has shown a lot of character in those situations so far.”

The team’s next game will be on the road against Northwest Nazarene University.

HUMOUR

September 21, 2015

humour editor email

Jacey Gibb humour@the-peak.ca

What was it like creating such a sprawling project?

CB: We got pretty much everyone we wanted to work with. It was really fun. Because we wrote it and produced it and were in it — and sometimes we can get nervous and less confident in things — it was nice to know we were surrounded by people we really respect and know are very funny. It was nice to have that. Personally, because I don’t know about Bita, even in those times of getting really stressed and thinking, “I did terrible, I’m a horrible person,” I could say, “At least I know everyone else is good.”

How similar are you to the characters you play?

BJ: A little. . . right?

CB: We started off as exaggerated characters of ourselves and then we went a little further from there, but still the kinds of characters that are easy for us to play.

as fictional versions of themselves.

We caught up with both Joudaki and Bortolin to discuss the comforts of working with other comedians, where the idea for Golden Futures came from, and reveal juicy spoilers on some of the antics we might see in future installments

Have you heard of this thing called “the Internet”? It’s the way of the future, and it’s helped change the way some comedians stretch their funny bones. Take Bita Joudaki and Christine Bortolin, for example. Both are rooted in the Vancouver comedy scene, as improv comedians and two of the many minds behind local comedy haven Little Mountain Gallery, but now they have their eyes set on the World Wide Web in the form of Golden Futures, a new web series they created, wrote, and starred in

Tell us about your new web series, Golden Futures.

Bita Joudaki: We both play people kind of similar to ourselves, but really exaggerated. They’ve been described to us as morons. . .

Christine Bortolin: Which is what we were looking for. I would say they’re passionate morons who are trying to better their lives, but are completely misinformed about what that means.

Is the name Golden Futures meant to be optimistic, or is it a playful jab at the gloom usually affiliated with living in Vancouver?

CB: We named the series after the apartment building we shot it in, but it works out perfect because the characters are both trying to attain these new lives. There’s an idea in our culture that we’re all so special; we have this superhero calling and think “everyone in this room isn’t as special as I am right now.”

I think that’s part of it, the golden futures, but not willing to put the work into understanding what goes into creating that.

Was this your first time working together on a project?

CB: We’ve done a lot of collaborations together, starting with improv at Instant Theatre.

We’ve done improv comedy, sketch, short films, and short videos. Stuff like that.

The five episodes of Golden Futures contain a real who’s who of Vancouver comedians.

The last episode ends with Bita hallucinating numerous Chandler Bings, and a masked Christine pretends to mutilate them with a real knife she’d been holding for most of the episode. On paper it sounds weird, but it’s an oddly touching moment. What made that a good scene to end on?

CB: We wanted to have a sincere moment of them being friends.

Something we’ve always tried to do in comedy is have a moment of sincerity. Whenever we did improv, we always wanted that one moment of connection or some kind of vulnerability, so we popped that in at the end in a weird way — which is the best way.

What were your intentions when you started out with Golden Futures?

BJ: The biggest reason was there weren’t many female-driven web series being created within our comedy peer group. We applied for this thing called Storyhive, where you pitch your idea and then the community votes, but we didn’t win. We really liked our idea, though, and

19

we’d already written one episode, so we just did it ourselves.

Are there any plans for a second season of Golden Futures?

CB: We wanted to pitch it and see if we can get some funding for next time, so hopefully. We have a little doc of ideas that we add to.

What are some of the ideas for the next run of episodes?

CB: In the series, there are little bits in front of the apartment building and one of the ideas was to take all of the little bits and then look at the story that was behind that and then tie it into them again. In one episode, a bicycle rides past with nobody on it, so we’d investigate what the heck was happening there.

BJ: In one I decide to try and get Iranian friends at a party, but then they don’t like me and I’m offended.

Are there any other projects you’re working on that you’d like to mention?

CB: There’s going to be an improv show starting at Little Mountain in October, called Little Mountain Improv, every Tuesday. Aaron Read and I are also writing a web series, where each episode we try to better ourselves in some way. In the episode we’ve been working on, we try to get in shape. We have these vision boards and his is full of buff guys and buff ladies and mine is just a skeleton driving a PT Cruiser. I’m really excited about that.

BJ: I’m working on something a bit more serious, which is a PSA about the way Stephen Harper’s policies have affected women negatively.

CB: Golden Futures is over but keep an eye on the YouTube channel, because we’re still going to be posting more videos.

20 HUMOUR

September 21, 2015

HUMOUR

September 21, 2015

The darkness upon initial entrance of the basement provided the perfect cover for any surprise attacks, so our officers were on edge. The only light provided was reportedly from dozens of candles lit around the suite and a fluorescent XXX sign hanging on the wall, which one officer mistook for some form of human trafficking crest.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for attending this press conference on such short notice. There’s been a lot of chatter and rumours circulating on social media, and we figured it was better to address the recent events directly than have the actual facts get lost in translation.

At approximately 8:15 p.m. last night, while acting on an anonymous tip about possible human trafficking, local law enforcement executed a raid on the basement suite of a Burnaby residence. After announcing their presence to the suite’s inhabitants, several officers claim to have heard giddyish noises, followed by the door unlocking from the inside.

Pessimists everywhere rejoiced, “I guess it’s better late than never” last week when Facebook announced it would soon be introducing the much-demanded “dislike” button. On the one hand we’re all one step closer to being able to publicly shame amateur foodies who post their lunch on the daily; on the other hand, Zuckerberg and co. are about to pull back the floodgates of disapproval that could, somehow, make the Internet an even more of a negative space.

Regardless, the announcement shows that Facebook is occasionally open to hearing what their users

Initial reports claimed that one civilian life was lost during the raid — when an officer yelled to a figure across the room to get down on his hands and knees, to no response, and then proceeded to open fire — but shortly after it was confirmed the civilian was only a Tom Selleck

want, so I’m hoping some of these suggestions pick up momentum.

Here are six other kinds of buttons that Facebook should consider adding to their ever-expanding roster.

A “LIKE like” button: if we’re being honest here, about 60 per cent of what happens on Facebook can be directly traced back to someone trying to get with someone else on their friends list. It’s a frenzy of casual flirting mixed with 21st-century technology that could do with a little simplifying — enter the “LIKE like” button.

With this, you’ll have the option of letting your crush know your intentions without the forwardness of having to send a dick or clit pic.

A “good show, m’boy” button: similar to the “like” button but slightly classier, and therefore more meaningful.

A “like from a family member” button: equal parts “like” button and privacy control, this button would give your post another like but then immediately disable

blow-up sex doll. Unfortunately, plastic reconstructive specialists brought in following the raid were unable to save the doll, and it passed away.

Thankfully no one was seriously injured during the incident, other than those who were already residing in the sex dungeon before and had been intentionally harmed while in pursuit of an orgasm. One officer is claiming that he accidentally used a bottle of pepper spray on a victim, but they were reportedly into it, so there’s no real harm done.

In total, four individuals and eight nipples were released/unclamped before officers clued in that something was, and this is a quote taken directly from the official report, “off about the place.” An officer said the first sign that something was amiss came when he removed a ball gag from a supposed hostage’s mouth, only to have the

the comments for that user, so no aging family member spams you with ill-placed questions or publicly shames you for not calling your aunt more — which you really should, you know.

A “sarcastic like” button: the only thing more powerful than sincerity is when it’s a sincere form of sarcasm. Humble-brag posts, statuses where a person refers to their pet as a son or daughter, cliched political posts or generic calls for change, these are just a few of the scenarios where a “sarcastic like” button would come in handy.

A “pushing your buttons” button: it’s highly improbable that every person on your Facebook friends list actually qualifies for such an esteemed descriptor, but it’s 2015 and we’ll just have to accept that some dinguses have made it onto your list. That’s why I’m proposing a “pushing your buttons” button, the perfect button for passive-aggressively letting

21

handcuffed individual tell the officer that he was, and this is another direct quote, “really harshing the vibe in the room.”

After the failed raid, we learned that the anonymous source had indeed come from a previously frequent goer of the neighbourhood sex dungeon — someone by the name of Andrew Fowler — but that Fowler had recently been banned for life for breaking the dungeons’ “no cursing” policy.

At this time we’re asking all media outlets to please be respectful of those negatively affected by the police raid, as well as those officers who now have the term “sex dungeon” appear as a suggestion when you try to Google their names. I can confirm that a few of the officers involved in the raid are now being treated for PTSD, or Platonic Trauma Sex Dungeon syndrome, but everyone is expected to make a full recovery.

someone know how you really feel without saying how you really feel. Of course this button wouldn’t be entirely selfsufficient and would have to be accompanied by several paragraphs’ worth of text that you spent too long working on, but at least it’s a start.

A “poke” button: can you imagine if Facebook had a “poke” button? What a world we would be living in! People

would be able to “poke” their friends, and then when their friend signs on there would be a little notification saying they had been “poked.” You could go back and forth, poking each other, but you could only poke a person once until they’ve poked you back. It sounds complicated, but trust me when I say this would become the most popular, most used feature on all of Facebook!

September 21, 2015

22

COMMUNITY PHOTOS June 29, 2015

photo editor email

Lisa Dimyadi photos@the-peak.ca

DIVERSIONS / ETC

September 21, 2015

23

Wednesdays @ 12:00 p.m., The Peak offices, MBC 2900

EVENT LISTINGS ARE FREE FOR SFU STUDENTS AND STUDENT ORGANIZATIONS. SEND THE DATE, TIME, LOCATION, NAME, AND A 15 WORD DESCRIPTION TO CLASSIFIEDS@THE-PEAK.CA

24 LAST WORD

editor-in-Chief email

on a bad first date will relate to this show, and most everyone will find it entertaining.

SFU alumna Christina Andreola has had many dudes come and go in her life. Most of them thanks to Tinder.

To start off her one-woman show and get the audience involved, she rapped her version of Montell Jordan’s classic “This is How We Do It,” retitled “This is How I Dude It.” Full of personal, sexual, and hilarious stories about her dating life, Andreola covered the highlights of first dates, second dates, awkward breakups, and her family’s involvement in it all.

As Andreola explained, she’s just looking for her dream man and hasn’t found him yet, but she admits that her mom has set the bar pretty high with her list of criteria.

According to her mother, Andreola must find a man who is over six feet tall, has a full head of hair, a full wallet, and a dead mother — or, failing that, an ugly mother.

Her Italian family members love to get involved in her dating life, and although at 26 she’s beginning to feel the pressure to settle down, she explained that she’s enjoying the single life because it lets her do fun things, like watch Netflix alone.

While there was a good amount of movement around the stage, some sections felt a bit bland, such as Andreola’s monologue to the audience while she fiddled with the fake flowers on the table. Anyone who has used Tinder or been

A traveller sees; a traveller knows to listen; a traveller knows to share.

It matters less whether their stories are believed, but that they continue to exist through their words.

Follow the traveller in this beautiful and poetic monologue of one man’s tale. Witness the performance filled from the beginning to end with the rhythm and lonesome sounds of a guitar and a harmonica.

Daniel Morton — fourth year SFU student, playwright, and performer — is the unnamed traveller who gives an account of the journey into Central America, the story behind the reasons, and the answers that were found. Morton, who changes harmonicas like a sniper changing bullets, is a one man show with a one man band.

The Traveller is presented at the Havana Theatre. The space is intimate, the stage shallow and wide. It is the perfect place for such a personal show. Right from the beginning the environment for the piece was set. The design of the space coloured the scenes beautifully and created an atmosphere that carries through for the rest of the performance.

The stage was laid out in three sections: a ladder with some blankets, a chair by a guitar stand, and a piece of wood laid down like a bench. Among them are a number of other objects and materials — some crows, a cage, a skull, a few candles, a book of some sort, and a polaroid camera.

Max Hill eic@the-peak.ca

At first these smaller objects seemed out of place, but it soon became clear that the objects fit, and that death and suffering is a part of everything. “Be careful what you look for, you just might find it,” the traveller warns.

The words speak the truth of what this play is about — a journey, life, and death. This is a story that will take you on a voyage while bringing the remnants of the traveller’s to you. Amid the darkness and the flickering candlelight, the music begins and a tale is told by the fireside.

The Traveller is directed by Cecilia Davis and is at the Havana until September 20. For those who aren’t familiar with it, the theatre is a small space tucked behind and beneath the Havana Restaurant on Commercial Drive.

Have you ever wondered how it would feel to be confined in a place where there was no outside light, no door, no way to escape, and no other stimulus except that of your own mind? What do you do when the weather is bad outside and you are forced to be content inside? It’s a simple premise, but has more depth than meets the eye.

Written by Brendan Gall, A Quiet Place is directed by SFU Theatre alumna Kaylin Metchie and stars Tosh Sutherland as Henry and Mark Manning as David.

The stage is set in the black room of the Cultch’s Culture Lab. A lenient space, for the most part, though it soon becomes an unforgiving one for the two entrapped characters. David is a big man who finds himself tied to a chair. At first

September 21, 2015

glance he appears to be frightened, perhaps a bit angry, but otherwise normal. Henry, on the other hand, is something of an oddity.

It is often hard to understand his motivations, but he is also very innocent at times.

The story is first presented in short bursts of movement, similar to tableaus. As the characters begin interacting, the perspective of the room shapes itself from their shifting proximity and a new space was created.

To say nothing of the play itself, the acting is believable in a way that it is almost uncomfortable. When the relationship of the characters changes, the actors take on the characters’ shifting states and their physicality continues to morph throughout the performance.

Even in witnessing the events unfold, there is no escape. There are moments of laughter; ridiculous moments; moments of tension and suspense; moments of jokes and games, dancing and singing; but mostly moments where it is hard to know what to feel anymore.

It was like watching someone spiral down a hole, seeing them descend, but being unable to prevent them from falling, being unable to save them from the despair that slowly settles in.

A Quiet Place might appear to be quiet on the surface, but it shows us that things are never truly quiet — just notice what happens next time you try to fall asleep.

Sometimes showing how much you love someone requires drastic

measures — like kidnapping their mother whom you’ve never met.

This probably sounds like a crazy idea, but Raj (Munish Sharma) felt it was the only option he had left to convince Mrs. Singh (Nimet Kanji) to let him marry her daughter, Sonia. You see, Raj is Hindu and Sonia is Sikh, and Mrs. Singh can’t imagine her grandchildren growing up without the same Sikh traditions she had.

The play opens with the sounds of heavy breathing and bumping into the wall as if someone was moving a couch up a tricky flight of stairs. Then the stage lights come up and reveal Raj stumble through the door with a woman tied up, a bag on her head, and a gag in her mouth. Not the best first impression to give the woman you hope to be your future mother in law.

After sitting her down, taking the bag off her head and the gag out of her mouth — and explaining that she can’t scream — Raj offers Mrs. Singh some chai and cookies. “I’m not going to hurt you,” he says, “see, I brought chai and cookies; who does that?”

As can be expected, Mrs. Singh isn’t having any of it; she slings threats and insults at Raj so fast his head spins. She begs him to explain why she’s in his dumpy apartment, and he tries to break the news to her that he’s in love with her daughter.

Eventually the two find some common ground and have a heart-to-heart, but not before a few hilarious exchanges that left audience members in stitches. Sharma and Kanji had great chemistry and timing, and I hope there is more of this type of show to come from the South Asian Arts Society.