The End is Near

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T he E n n i n g yo u r s u

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News

Amneet Mann / News Editor Henry Tran / Assistant News Editor

March 19, 2018 news@the-peak.ca

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News

Eva Zhu Staff Writer

Albert Kho Peak Associate

Amneet Mann / News Editor Henry Tran / Assistant News Editor

news@the-peak.ca

News

Nathaniel Tok Peak Associate

March 19, 2018

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Opinions

Zach Siddiqui / Opinions Editor

opinions@the-peak.ca

Winona Young Peak Associate

—— BRITISH COLUMBIA INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY

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— ENROL NOW FULL-TIME STUDIES

—— BCIT Marketing Communications grads work at TELUS.

Opinions

March 19, 2018

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10 Arts

Alex Bloom / Arts Editor

arts@the-peak.ca

Aaron Richardson Peak Associate

Alex Bloom Arts Editor

Arts

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March 19, 2018

Summer 2018 Courses GSWS 320-4 Special Topics: “Man’s Best Friend?”: Feminisms Engaging with Nonhumans Thursdays: 13:30 – 17:20

Harbour Centre

Rebecca Scott Yoshizawa

Feminists are increasingly examining how the power structures that produce unjust oppressions for women and other marginalized Others extend to the nonhuman world. This course explores how feminists have theorized, advocated for, and fostered relations with nonhumans such as animals, plants, organic and inorganic matter, and machines.

Informed by feminist ethics, science studies, and philosophy, we ask: How do understandings of animals relate to conceptualizations of sex and gender? Are there feminist obligations to animals, plants, bacteria, viruses, fungi, and protists? How does feminism inform and support animal and environmental advocacy? Can nonhumans teach us about ethics, care, and equality?

GSWS 318-4 Sport through a Feminist Lens Mondays: 9:30 – 13:20

Tiffany Muller Myrdahl Consider the following sport “moments”: the persistence of sex-testing that targets female athletes; US athletes kneeling during the national anthem to demonstrate support for the Black Lives Matter movement; continued efforts to change racist team names and mascots; disputes over inequitable resource allocations for men’s and women’s teams; protests in Brazil during the World Cup and Rio Olympics. Analyzing these disparate examples requires asking how relations of power inhabit and become manifest in sport: in its institutions, spaces, media coverage, and popular discourse. This course addresses this and related questions to interrogate the social investment in sport as a “neutral” site where athletic excellence is performed and consumed. We will examine a variety of case studies to elicit discussion and analysis of the role that sport plays in: reinforcing and challenging social relations; urban economies (especially related to leisure and tourism); and nationalism and globalization.

GSWS 411-4 ST: Gendering Environment Wednesdays: 9:30 – 13:20

Tiffany Muller Myrdahl

This course uses a feminist-critical perspective to examine environment, sustainability, and eco-activism, paying particular attention to the social forces that are at work in efforts to address environmental change.

The course is grounded in an examination of the production of knowledge and the relationship between nature and culture. It builds upon this foundation to examine case studies in environmental activism and sustainability studies, from Clayquot Sound and Greenham Common to Standing Rock and Site C. Each case study interrogates social relations (e.g., gender, race, colonial history, globalization) and their effects: how ecological change is understood and experienced, and how ecological challenges are addressed at various scales. The course invites students to evaluate individual and community eco-activism, institutional policy initiatives, state governance, and international debates over environmental protection.

GSWS 321-4 ST: Women: Renaissance-Present Wednesdays: 13:30 – 17:20

Evdoxios Doxiadis

European ideas and debates regarding women from the Renaissance to the Present This course examines the perceptions and ideas regarding women, their nature, their roles in society, their rights and obligations, their sexuality, and their relationship to men and other women that were expressed in Europe from the Antiquity to the Present. We will be looking at the changes that European society underwent during that period, the rise of new ideologies and systems of thought and the impact all these had on women. We will be focusing on how women responded to, or initiated, change, as well as the counter-arguments, or new theories, developed to stifle the early women’s movements.

All GSWS course outlines available at: www.sfu.ca/gsws

12 Sports

Andrew Ringer / Sports Editor

sports@the-peak.ca

NATIONAL SUCCESS

Meet your newest SFU All-Americans SFU track, men’s wrestling, and swimming all put out All-American performances Andrew Ringer Sports Editor Editor’s note: At the time of publication, SFU swimming is still competing at the NCAA Championships, therefore some more All-American performances may still occur.

Over March 9 and 10, the SFU track team and SFU men’s wrestling team went to compete at the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) Championships, with the track team travelling to Pittsburgh, Kansas and the men’s wrestling team traveling to Cedar Rapids, Iowa to compete. For men’s wrestling, Morgan Smith became SFU men’s wrestling’s first two-time AllAmerican, while the track team put out an All-American performance in the distance medley relay (DMR).

Here are your newest SFU All-American athletes and performances.

WRESTLING Morgan Smith: All-American in men’s wrestling’s 197 pound weight class (third place).

Despite the All-American finish, Smith did not get off to the start he was perhaps hoping for,

as he lost his second match of the tournament to number one seed Evan Ramos from Shippensburg University. The match could not have been closer, but unfortunately for Smith, he lost on a 6–5 decision. This was a minor blip in an otherwise stellar tournament for Smith, and he would avenge the loss later on.

In the consolation final (for third place), Smith and Ramos would face off against each other once again. This time, Smith (the tournament’s number five seed) would come out on top, and win third place as a result. It was a dominating performance, as he won 4–2. The two athletes have a history of facing off against each other, as Smith defeated Ramos in last year’s National Championship as well.

This caps off a terrific season for Smith, in which he went 41–8. With the third-place finish, he is now SFU’s first two-time

All-American in wrestling. More importantly, this caps off an exciting SFU career for Smith, who entered the season as a senior.

Over the past three seasons, he has a dominant record of 108–18.

SWIMMING

TRACK & FIELD Miryam Bassett, Renate Bluschke, Alana Mussatto, and Julia Howley: All-Americans in track and field DMR relay (third place).

Bassett got things started for SFU in the first leg, keeping SFU in the mix after 400 m in her first DMR for the Clan. In the second leg, Bluschke ran her personal best 400 m, putting in a dominant performance before getting the baton to Mussatto, who ran in the 800 m just a couple hours earlier. Despite this, Mussatto was able to move the Clan up three spots (from seventh place to fourth) in the 400 m stretch.

The pressure was then on Howley, the anchor, who kept the Clan in fourth place to end the race, which matched their number four ranking coming into the race. The team would finish in third, however, as Adams State was disqualified, thus moving the Clan up a spot.

Three quarters of the group are in their senior season for SFU, with freshman Bluschke being the standout. As a 200 m and 400 m racer, Bluschke has enjoyed a fine first season for the Clan, capped off by some great experience at the NCAA Championships.

For Bassett, Mussatto, and Howley, this finish puts the cherry on top of their respective SFU careers, although they will still be competing in the upcoming outdoor season for SFU track and field. Bassett is typically a longer distance runner (800 m and 1,500 m) so running in the DMR was a relatively new experience for her, even though she is in her senior season. Mussatto, who also earned All-American Second Team honours for her performance in the 800 m, was a major difference maker in the race, and put Howley and the rest of her team in a position to succeed. Howley is no stranger to the podium, as she reached it in her first three meets for SFU’s cross country team back in September. Nonetheless, this All-American performance will certainly be another big takeaway from her fantastic senior season.

MacKenzie Hamill, Andrew Woinoski, Rolando Hernandez, Jessie Gibson: All-Americans in SFU swimming in a variety of events.

Through two days in the NCAA Championships, the swim team has put together a great performance, with four individual AllAmerican athletes already.

The first two to do so were Hamill and Woinoski, who were both competing in the 1,000yard freestyle. After clocking their times in the preliminary morning heat, both athletes had to await their fate until the late evening when the final heat was done. With a time of 9:10.46 for Hamill and 9:12.50 for Woinoski, both got the nod as All-Americans. Hamill finished fifth, and in the process, set a new SFU record for the event, beating his time of 9:11.69 he set in 2016.

Woinoski, on the other hand, narrowly snuck onto the podium, finishing eighth. Hamill is in his junior season for SFU, and will look to next year to better his record time once again. On the other hand, Woinoski is only in his sophomore year, and will have two more seasons to keep putting up All-American performances. Both athletes will be competing in the 1,650 m freestyle event on Saturday.

On day two, Hernandez and Gibson kept the All-American performances coming. Hernandez started the day off in the 400-yard individual medley (where the swimmer swims 100 yards of butterfly, backstroke, breaststroke, and freestyle) with a solid fifth-place finish. His time of 3:50.52 was two seconds faster than what he swam in the morning prelims, and narrowly missed Adrian Vanderhelm’s record of 3:48.07 set in 2015. Nonetheless, it is the second fastest time in this event in SFU history.

On the women’s side, Gibson finished fifth in the 100-yard butterfly for the second straight year, with a time of 53.83. Despite the same result as last year, however, she broke a 10-year record in the event for SFU, beating Vicky Sui’s time of 54.96 set in 2008. Hernandez, and Gibson are both in their sophomore seasons for the Clan, and will be looking to continue putting in strong performances in the upcoming years.

Sports

March 19, 2018

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14 Humour

Janis McMath / Humour Editor

humour@the-peak.ca

019 W R I T T E N BY A H M E D A L I , P E A K ASS O C I AT E M AY

LAYOUT BY GABRIEL YEUNG

****************** ****************** As you all know, constantly turning into a 10-foot-tall Rage Monster when you get angry is never the most convenient superpower.

There are times where it will be a minor inconvenience, and there are other times where going Green is a HUGE inconvenience — here is a list of those awful times.

1. SEX, BLOWJOBS, AND MASTURBATION As you know, Bruce is a pretty thin guy, so we assume his junk is pretty standard — but The Hulk’s junk is going to be massive.

This is going to make sex a real gamble because you might end up with a 20-inch-long and 7-inch-wide veiny rod of tissue in one of two orifices . . . neither of which is going to pleasant.

On top of that, when the Hulk cums, he’s probably going to blow through you and through the next building over. Going out by an overpowered ejaculation is probably pretty unique, though.

T E D BY IL L U S T R A N G A L IC E Z H A

2. DURING AN EXAM When taking an exam, you’re already going through a lot of questions and emotions: “What is the integral of 2sinxcosx?” and “Why didn’t I study this part instead of watching Netflix?” and “If I drop out now can I make minimum wage by rapping about memes on SoundCloud?”

Going through so many emotions is why being the Hulk is a bad power for exams. You start not being able to answer 10 questions, and the next thing you know is that you’ve turned big . . . ripped the paper in half, and smashed through the exam hall, looking for some way to escape the pain.

And the worse part is that the admin will fail you right there instead of helping you.

3. BATHROOM AT A PARTY You’ve had a long day. You’re at a party looking to chill but you gotta go take a S@$t first.

When you’re pushing too hard and then — you go Green! You burst through the door and run off in a panic.

The worst parts are 1) everybody has seen your dong and 2) your Hulk dump would make it better to just nuke the house from orbit than even try going back there.

UBER DELIVERY SERVICES

4. THE BUS

5. FAMILY REUNION

Buses have a certain type of atmosphere — one that makes you feel like you’re light years from civilization. You’re in this cramped cave like thing with NO air conditioning and cavemen everywhere, and that’s enough to stress anyone out . . . imagine if you were the Hulk.

In this case, at least the bus would be air conditioned once you Hulk out and smash all the windows open (along with, like, half the bus) — trying to flee a place that’s more a prison than the Vault.

You know all those aunts, uncles, cousins, half-cousins, and obscure brothers of an uncle’s sister’s cousin’s brother’s dad’s roommate named Phil? All those random people you might know who all just converge together to talk about random things? Sometimes it’s just meaningless chit chat . . . sometimes it all turns to you: “You’ve gotten taller, did you find a girl yet? How goes your science stuff, how goes your search for a job — and bankruptcy after your arts degree? Why are you getting taller? Why are you getting green? My, how much you have changed in the last 10 seconds?”

Dealing with the military as a giant Green indestructible monster is much easier than dealing with obnoxious relatives.

At least the former won’t question your life decisions and passion for theatre.

ILLUSTRATED BY JARIELLE LIM

WRITTEN BY EVA ZHU LAYOUT BY GABRIEL YEUNG

services that don’t require a down deposit of a firstborn child.

If you haven’t been living under a rock these past few years, you would have heard of Uber — a more affordable taxi service that transports a person from point A to B (I mean, they’re a taxi service, if transportation wasn’t their goal, I’d be worried). Uber has delivery services, with Uber Eats (where you can order ready-made food so your lazy ass doesn’t have to put on real clothes), Uber Health (delivery of vaccines), and UberKITTENS (kittens for playtime and adoption). Even with all these cool benefits, Uber is still a shitty company who doesn’t give a flying fuck about their employees.

Anyways, Uber is coming to Vancouver soon and we will all be able to experience taxi

1. UberStudentLoans __________________________ Every time someone opts to take an Uber rather than a traditional taxi, the driver will tack a small portion of their student loans onto the bill.

Let’s be honest, how else will they be able to pay off the tens of thousands of dollars of debt from receiving a postsecondary education? It’s not like Uber executives are making any real effort to cut them a living wage.

2. UberGlitterBomb __________________________ Everyone has that one person they’d offer to the wolves in time of need, and if you say

you don’t, you’re lying. Why not get Uber to send a glitter bomb to this person’s mailbox?

It’s a win-win situation because a) one can orchestrate this from the comfort of their couch and b) Uber drivers don’t have to listen to the incessant chatter of some backseat know-it-all, drunkard, or professional ranter.

3. UberUmbrellas __________________________ Raise your hand if you have been personally victimized by Vancouver’s moody weather.

Uber executives would be downright fools if they don’t implement this service in a city with only one season: rain. You text a driver your location, and in five plus minutes (depending on how much of an inconvenience you are) a working umbrella

is delivered. You might get a few side eyes though, because only newbies believe the Weather Network’s bullshit.

4. UberFlannels __________________________ Whether you’re attending a house party hosted by that frat boy with a questionable reputation or you’re going to the movies with your gal pal, a flannel shirt is perfect for when you want to look approachable but also I came here to party.

Just send a driver a preferred colour and they’ll most likely deliver a completely different coloured one.

5. UberWakeupCall __________________________ Are you unable to wake up any earlier than two in the afternoon? Do you constantly

piss off your significant other and friends by your laziness? If you said ‘yes’ to these, then please sign up for UberWakeupCall. The night before, tell a driver your desired wakeup time, and your job is done! Someone will arrive in the morning with a hot/iced coffee and a wakeup call ranging from yelling, to cold water, to a slap in the face — depending on your level of tiredness.

6. Uber95 __________________________ A driver in possession of a bus will make all the same stops that the 95 does — except they’ll actually be on time to get you to the class SFU should’ve already cancelled.

Humour

March 19, 2018

COMICS -the rolling burrito- by Talha Qadir

MYSTIC MAN 39: vs Blizzard Lizard Wizard 2 by Reuben Newton

Giftage by Mircea Taras

Develop skills and techniques to confidently communicate your stories in print and online with Langara’s one-year Publishing Diploma. Gain hands-on experience and build a professional portfolio that includes LangaraPRM.com and a new issue of Pacific Rim Magazine.

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EARLY REGISTRATION DEADLINE May 1 – Apply now to start in September

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16 Diversions

Yuri Zhou / Business Manager

business@the-peak.ca

THE PEAK IS HIRING!

WE’LL BE PUBLISHING NEWSPAPERS IN THE SUMMER AND WE NEED PEOPLE TO PUT THEM TOGETHER! GET PAID TO WORK ON THE NEWSPAPER AND THE WEBSITE IN A FUN, FLEXIBLE WORK ENVIRONMENT! APPLICATIONS DUE APRIL 9!

SEND RESUME & COVER LETTER TO JOBS@THE-PEAK.CA

YOU COULD FILL ANY ONE OF THESE AMAZING POSITIONS: > PRODUCTION EDITOR! > COPY EDITOR! > NEWS EDITOR! > ARTS EDITOR! > OPINIONS EDITOR! > HUMOUR EDITOR!

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CONTACT EIC@THE-PEAK.CA OR VISIT THE-PEAK.CA/JOBS FOR THE DETAILS!

NOTICE OF ELECTION Across 1. Rustic hotels 5. Folding beds 9. Stockpile 14. Yard units 15. Mexican water 16. Basil sauce 17. Costing nothing 18. Does wrong 19. Patriot ____ Allen 20. Olden times 21. Feel 23. Distinctive period 24. Sch. groups 26. Not as tight 29. Grinning person 32. Actress ____ Keaton 34. Sheik's wives

35. TV Host David ____ 39. Doctors' org.

40. Trailblazer 42. Air hero 43. Distinctive behavior 45. Sworn statements 47. Clear the blackboard 48. Get-go 49. Prepare leftovers 52. Party giver 53. WSW's opposite 54. Implant 57. Man or Wight 61. Book of maps 64. Aristocrat 65. Chess piece 66. Viola's kin 67. ____ vera

68. If not 69. Horses' gaits 70. Contact ____ 71. Easy ____ it!

Down 1. Doubtful 2. Fiddling emperor 3. Not ever, poetically 4. Church spire 5. Julius ____ 6. Monstrous giants 7. Change direction 8. Back talk 9. Gorilla, e.g.

10. Came together 11. Fire residue 12. Fixed gaze 13. Sub finder 22. Please greatly 25. Type of paint 27. Oppressive 28. Above, poetically 29. Imitation 30. Doll's cry 31. Modern Persia 32. Compact 33. Ledger entry 35. Reporter ____ Lane 36. Wrestling pads 37. Yearn 38. Wren's home 41. Wrathful 44. Originally called 46. Dressed 48. Gobs 49. Respond (to) 50. Come in 51. Greeting word 52. Long-legged bird 55. Breakfast or dinner 56. Hay unit 58. Fly alone 59. Come in last 60. Scrapes by 62. Computer key 63. Distress call

THE PEAK PUBLICATIONS SOCIETY WILL BE HOLDING AN ELECTION FOR THE POSITION OF COLLECTIVE REPRESENTATIVE ON THE PPS BOARD OF DIRECTORS TUESDAY, APRIL 3 AFTER COLLECTIVE MEETING AT THE PEAK. TWO POSITIONS AVAILABLE. TERM: MAY TO DECEMBER 31, 2018 QUALIFICATION: MUST BE A CURRENT COLLECTIVE MEMBER (HAVE CONTRIBUTED in 2 OF THE PAST 5 WEEKS) COMMITMENT: 1 MEETING PER MONTH REQUIREMENTS: SUBMIT A NOMINATION FORM SIGNED BY 5 COLLECTIVE MEMBERS BY 4:00 P.M. ON FRIDAY, MARCH 30, 2018 TO BOARD@THE-PEAK.CA OR IN PERSON TO MBC 2900 (FORMS AVAILABLE THERE)

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"DO YOU THINK SFU IS BORING?"