The Peak — Closed Court: The Harbour Centre food court will be closing this April

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FIRST PEEK

I was originally going to title this article “Winter Ales”, but I soon came to realize that winter brews are much more than just ales.

They are a marking of a season, a time of year that beer geeks like myself look forward to. Some of the best beers of the year come out around this time, each more diverse than the next.

What are winter beers, then? Well, when the season approaches, breweries traditionally release brews that are more full-bodied, and generally richer. They like to add their own touches, and brews often have unique and sometimes experimental flavours.

There isn’t just one type of winter beer though. They can range from “warmers,” to ales, stouts, and Rickard’s has even released an Oakhouse Winter Lager. There is a significant difference between a UK styled

January 7, 2013

“winter warmer” and a traditional North American-styled winter beer (usually a flavoured pale ale). Likewise, other parts of the world also have their own twists on their beers; in Belgium, their winter brews are generally stronger in alcoholby-volume, and flavoured with honey and orange peels.

English winter warmers are generally much more malty, and have a little bit of sweetness to them. Have you ever had a Christmas pudding? You know, figs, caramel, toffee, some dried fruits and such? Imagine all of those things thrown into a brew. They are strong, I must warn you. It’s not the best beginner brew, but it’s a plunge for sure. If you want to try a decent winter warmer this season, something relatively local is the Snow Cap Winter Warmer from Pyramid Breweries in Seattle. It’s available at the Surrey Central BC Liquor Store, as well as others.

North American winter beers are the ones that I’m much more familiar with. Unlike the UK warmers, they are generally loaded with Christmas spices — cinnamon, ginger, allspice, nutmeg, and some citrus peels. In addition, they have sweet flavours from sources like honey, cocoa malts, caramel, chocolate, and syrups.

I prefer the North Americanstyle brews, mainly because of the huge variety of beers. I’ve tried winter ales, winter lagers, and winter stouts. There are ups and downs to all of them.

If you’re looking for some good local North American winter brews, try the Dough

Head Gingerbread Ale from Vancouver Island Brewery, or Valley Trail Chestnut Ale from Whistler Brewing Company.

The Dough Head tastes like biting into a gingerbread house, minus the icing. It’s delicious.

If you are new to winter beers, simply try the local favourite Granville Island Lion’s Winter Ale (available at our very own Highland Pub!).

Then again, if you love strong, unique-tasting, hardto-stomach brews, then I’d go for the Innis and Gunn Winter Porter. It’s not much of a porter at all, but it packs a wallop of taste, hitting you like a fivegame suspension hockey hit to the head. I had to sip the 330mL for about half an hour, and at 7.4 per cent alcohol-by-volume, it’s one of the stronger winter beers available in your local liquor store.

Well, there you have it.

That’s your beginner’s guide to winter brews, and which ones are available at your local BC Liquor Stores. There are many more available at stores that cater to beer geeks like myself, but I’m still on a mission to try them all.

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Cougars are great. And I’m not just saying that because 80 per cent of the people I’ve dated have been older than me. No, they’re great because they retain a joie de vivre that someone who’s 96 on the inside (like me) can only hope to achieve some day. While I’m in a dark office underground on Friday nights, they’re out, being young at heart, finding other people who are young

in age to grab life by the chode with. Cougars are selfaware, they know what they want, and they aren’t afraid to say so. Like, for example, if a cougar went on a radio show and got asked a stupid question, they’d probably say “I’m the damn premier and that’s a wildly inappropriate question, P.S. you’re way too old for me.”

Ew. Not just ew because they have kids, which is frankly terrifying. Ew because most MILFs aren’t even someone the rest of us would like to F. They call themselves that — ney, brand themselves that — with sparkly GIF banners on their myspace pages. MILFs are completely self-obsessed and narcissistic.

They’re the adult version of the teenagers who started rumours about themselves just so someone would be talking about

them. But hey, I guess when you’re a shitty politician with nowhere to go but down, starting an idiotic cyber-debate about yourself is probably the best you can hope to achieve.

That way when someone asks something like, “Christy, if you can’t handle an inappropriate interview question, how will you handle the provincial election debates?” you can just say, “You can’t handle these lumps!”

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NEWS

January 7, 2013

vendors were given four-month eviction notices and were told they could reapply to return after construction completes near the end of 2013.

On April 1, 2013 construction will begin to renovate the 35-yearold Harbour Centre Complex.

The redevelopment will focus on revitalizing the street façade and expanding the food court. Norman Pearl, Senior Vice President of Polaris Realty Canada Limited (the company which manages Harbour Centre), said in a press release, “The changes are designed to enhance the complex, making it brighter, more welcoming, and easier to navigate.”

However, the redevelopment plan has caused grief for the current food court tenants.

On November 30, 2012, the food

Le Viet Cuisine opened in October 2010 and had eight years remaining on their 10-year lease.

According to Harbour Centre Complex Limited, the eviction notices for redevelopment abide by the terms and conditions set out in their signed lease agreements. Trina Vo, daughter of the owners of Le Viet Cuisine says, “My parents bought this business two years ago, and put all their money into it.” Although

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they, along with the other food court tenants, have an opportunity to reapply in January 2013, they are unsure what exactly that will entail. “We have been given very little information,” Vo says. Vo’s parents paid $100,000 to take over from the previous tenants, and are unsure if they will need to pay more money if their application is approved. In addition, during the 8 months the food court will be closed for renovation, food court tenants will be responsible for storing all the equipment needed for their business.

Cookies of Course has been in the Harbour Centre Complex for 28 years. “They told me they don’t want any independent vendors, but want big chains,” says Alan, the owner of Cookies of Course. According to the owner, the forced evictions are devastating, and the business is not planning on reapplying for a new lease. Alan says he was told

Alison Roach associate news editor news@the-peak.ca / 778.782.4560

that the company is looking for $300,000 for new leases. “They want this to be a food court like Richmond Centre, but it’s a weekday 9–5 food court,” Alan says.

The terminated lease agreement has caused a ripple in Soup Zone’s plans for expansion. “I was planning to open a third store,” says the owner Ramzen, “unfortunately I can’t do it because I lost one store.”

Harbour Centre Complex Limited says that the goal of the redevelopment is to bring a refreshed dining and shopping experience. In addition, the 14 food vendors who will occupy

Amara Janssens

the redeveloped food court will be subject to higher design standards.

When it comes to who the new food vendors will be, Harbour Centre Complex Limited has not confirmed any vendors, but say they will consider “any submissions that are able to meet these updated requirements, whether that is from current or new vendors.”

Many customers of the food court are SFU students, faculty and staff members who enjoy the food choices and reasonable pricing. One vendor says he has between 100–200 students purchase his food every day. Harbour Centre Complex Limited says, “It is our expectation that among the food vendors there will be options available with similar price points to our previous offerings.” However, because specific vendors have yet to be confirmed, specific price points are not available.

NEWS

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Alison Roach associate news editor news@the-peak.ca / 778.782.4560

Amara Janssens

IHIT, along with the Surrey RCMP, held a press conference on December 2, 2012, confirming two arrests relating to the murder of Maple Batalia. Batalia’s ex-boyfriend, Gurjinder (Gary) Dhaliwal, was arrested and charged with first-degree murder. His “associate”, Gursimar Singh Bedi, was arrested for manslaughter, use of a firearm, as well as being an ‘accessory after-the-fact.’ The arrests were made on Nov. 30, 2012 by the Integrated Homicide Investigation team (IHIT).

Batalia, an SFU health science student, was shot Sept.

28, 2011, in the parking lot of the SFU Surrey campus. Batalia had been studying late at the campus when she was shot at approximately 1:00 a.m. while walking to her car.

Batalia’s family was present during the press conference, where Maple Batalia’s sister, Roseleen Batalia, spoke on behalf of her family. “This isn’t an

easy day for us, it’s very bitter sweet. . . . Although we can’t bring Maple back, we’re happy to see that the people responsible for this are now going to suffer the consequences.”

As the investigation process has been a long and emotional affair, the Batalia family originally asked for privacy from the media and public now that arrests have been made. “We can finally start to grieve,” Roseleen Batalia stated.

However, Batalia’s mother, Sarbjit Batalia spoke at a forum on teens and dating abuse, and sat down with Global BC for an interview. Sarbjet revealed that the Batalia family and Dhaliwal’s family were very close.

Sarbjit said in her interview, “I’m very close to his mom and dad. She is my best friend. I think she has more pain than me.” Sarbjit also expressed that she has nothing but respect for the Dhaliwal family, and she even loved Gary himself like a son. Eventually Batalia and Dhaliwal started dating, and at some point Batalia ended the relationship.

Both Dhaliwal and Bedi are now in custody, and made their first court appearance at the Surrey provincial court on Dec. 3, with a second hearing on Dec.

17. As this case is now before the courts, very little information — especially pertaining to evidence — is being released to the public.

At the Dec. 3 hearing, a nocontact order was placed on both men ordering them to not contact each other or the Batalia family. Outside of the courtroom. Dhaliwal’s lawyer stated that his client will plead not guilty to the first-degree murder charge.

per cent would give up video games, 28 per cent would give up alcohol and 23 per cent would part with coffee rather than give up their smartphone.

“Surveys are a great way to check the pulse of consumers. With more and more Canadians switching to smartphones, we wanted to see just how much Canadians loved them,” said Maxwell.

WINDSOR (CUP) — A new survey suggests Canadians are becoming addicted to their smartphones; good news for those in the business, but phone dependency is a real problem.

On behalf of Canadian cell phone provider Wind, Vision Critical recently conducted an online survey of 1,501 Canadians to determine what they would give up in order to keep their smartphones.

“The response to pets was the most surprising,” said Alexandra Maxwell, a spokesperson for Wind. The survey shows that 17 per cent of smartphone users would give up their pets.

“I just didn’t see that coming, but I guess some people just love their phones more.”

According to the survey, 40

Chief Superintendent Bill Fordy, Officer in Charge of Surrey RCMP, made a statement during the IHIT press conference, saying, “While there is still much work to be done, I am confident that justice will prevail and those responsible will be held accountable for their actions.”

When asked by The Peak what measures are being taken to ensure the safety of SFU students during late hours, Marie Schneider, Facilities Services manager in charge of the

January 7, 2013

Surrey Campus security team, responded: “Security staff are on duty 24/7 to assist students.”

Schneider discussed the support of the campus security staff by the Central City office tower and mall security officers, who conduct both interior and exterior patrols around campus.

Schneider stated that help phones are also being installed in over 20 locations around the Surrey campus. She explained, “The phone stations will be brightly coloured and prominently positioned and marked with signs.

Anyone needing security support . . . can pick up the phone for an immediate connection to the security monitoring centre.”

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As well, students are able to partake in the Safe Walk program, where a guard escorts students to the parkade, bus loop, and Skytrain areas.

Superintendent Kevin Hackett, Officer in Charge of IHIT, addressed the concerns of the homicide’s occurrence at the SFU Surrey campus by stating that this incident has impacted “our community’s overall sense of security and safety.” Fordy helped ease these concerns, reassuring that the RCMP and IHIT are “commit[ted] to ensuring that justice and the rule of law prevails — that our citizens are safe, and that all of us are safe and secure.”

GRADUATE PROGRAM IN URBAN STUDIES

6 NEWS

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of an older male, that extra older brother figure, is an integral focus of the program. “The activities that we give them are kind of like a bonus. It’s more about developing that relationship with them,” said Chamy.

SFU student Ahmad Chamy and childhood friends Searaj Alam and Idris Barahmeh, all from Surrey, have started a mentorship program for young male teens in an effort to give back to their community. The program is called the Momentum Youth Development Project and involves a group of 20 young males ranging in age from 11 to 15 years old.

Starting this past summer, the three founders began holding events with different activities such as basketball and soccer games, or going out for coffee or lunch. Chamy said, “We focused mainly on things that would involve the community and give a lesson out of it; we wanted to show them what it is to be involved in the community.”

Chamy sees the focus on this age group as a way to prevent problems before they happen. He explained, “We saw a lot of [older] youth struggling with problems at home, drug abuse, and crime, so we figured if we pulled back the scale and focused on younger people, they would grow up knowing how to defend themselves.” The positive influence

This community involvement came through in activities such as Momentum’s Movember campaign. The group hit the streets of downtown Vancouver to raise money as a group for the campaign. Chamy explained, “All our members are guys, so it was about teaching them the importance of men’s health.”

The program first started off at a small scale, with the founders first recruiting members through family friends, but the group has started to expand beyond that.

“We stuck close to home,” Chamy said. “We chose people that we knew. Then those friends started telling their friends and suddenly we had five new members who we never knew before.”

The founders strive to keep the program affordable for the parents of their members, just asking for basic fees to help cover the cost of programs. The founding trio is also looking into

Amara Janssens

applying for funding from some of the numerous companies in BC that fund community groups, in order to be “able to take on a little more [financially],” according to Chamy.

Momentum has big plans for the new year, already having planned the next four months of programming. These plans focus on a different theme for each month, with a goal of two activities a month. Themes and ideas for the upcoming months include personal development and inspiration, safety and security, and an Earth month. Chamy mentioned plans in the works to visit the Vancouver Police Museum, visit the BC Sports Hall of Fame, and get involved with relief programs in Surrey that plant trees in various parks in order to preserve green areas.

Chamy, who is a second year student at SFU, Alam who studies at Douglas, and Barahmeh who will be graduating high school in the spring, will all continue to be involved in the program, and with training older members of the project for more leadership-type roles.

Chamy says starting and running the project has been personally fulfilling. He said, “I feel like I’ve seen results over the past couple months. I’ve seen kids change their attitudes . . . I may not be able to do a lot for the community, but this is something I’m able to do, and I believe that this is something that will really pay off in the future.”

January 7, 2013

to help children with their addiction to the internet through various gadgets, including tablets and smartphones. The South Korean government estimates that 2.55 million of its people are addicted.

“I’d feel pretty weird without my phone,” said Hanna Bellacicco, who wouldn’t give up her pet in exchange for her phone but would cut out coffee to stay connected.

“It has to be near me. Even when it’s charging it has to be near me.”

Ken Hart, a psychology professor at the University of Windsor, was surprised by the results of the survey and said it could indicate an addiction trend.

Hart defined addiction as a loss of control. “The person feels a compulsive need,” he said. “This overwhelming urge to engage in the behaviour is very strong, and the person is unable to restrain themselves.” “[Addictions] cause your life to become smaller and narrower, because other activities in your life are being displaced by this,” said Hart.

“Important life goals that you’re trying to achieve don’t get accomplished, so you start becoming unhappy.”

A Pew Research Center study of 2,200 Americans last March indicates that about 10 per cent feel they use their phones too much, suggesting people are becoming aware of potential abuse.

“I use my smartphone every day,” said Allisa Oliverio, who admits to feeling like she’s addicted to the device. “Without it I think I’d be lost . . . it’s always with me; it’s always in my hand.”

Oliverio said that she sets boundaries with her use, such as avoiding use when she’s hanging out with friends, since she views that as rude behaviour.

Other countries are already struggling with smartphone addiction. According to the Toronto Star, South Korea has started a program

Mohsan Beg, clinical director at UWindsor’s Student Counselling Centre, has not yet encountered issues of smartphone addiction among students. “We do see some internet addiction,” he said, adding that patients typically have issues with video game use. “[Students] engage in the technological world to escape the real world,” explained Beg. He said symptoms of depression are often tied to internet addiction and people often resort to escapism by playing video games to cope.

Hart said that improper smartphone use draws people’s attention away from the current task at hand, be that studying, driving or holding a conversation.

“As an instructor, I see students use smartphones in class, even when they’re not supposed to,” said Hart, adding that despite his policy against mobile phones, students violate it regularly, even after seeing him confiscate phones. “It can be dangerous in the sense that it can harm their academic well-being.”

Hart said he was unaware of a program to treat such an addiction, but said that he could see an increased need for one in the future.

“The larger problem is being distracted . . . maybe they’re addicted to distractions,” said Hart. “On the other hand . . . feelings of depression and loneliness can be alleviated by the smartphone, which is an outlet for social engagement.”

Hart uses the internet mostly for work and engages in social media sparingly.

He only uses a landline and doesn’t own a mobile.

“I don’t need one,” he said with a laugh.

NEWS

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Amara Janssens

January 7, 2013

10x7.5 BW

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Practical

Global

Focused

8 NEWS

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With dark brown braids, brown eyes, and a slight build, Kayla Bourque appears at first to be fairly ordinary. However, she has proven to be anything but.

Bourque, who studied criminology at SFU, recently caught the attention of the legal system after boasting to a friend in her SFU dorm about dismembering and disemboweling her pet cat. Later investigations also uncovered videos of her eviscerating and hanging her family’s dog while narrating her actions.

On top of this brutal animal cruelty, 22-year-old Bourque also expressed a desire to move her violent acts to humans, confiding her desires to shoot a homeless man, and to kill her roommate in SFU residence. Only the fear of a trail of evidence deterred her, though it wouldn’t have for long.

Bourque had confessed to enrolling in a forensics course at SFU to deal with this issue.

The confession concerned

Alison Roach associate news editor news@the-peak.ca / 778.782.4560

Bourque’s friend, who reported her to school authorities, who in turn called the police. Following this, Bourque was arrested under the Mental Health Act. Eight months later, Bourque pleaded guilty to killing/injuring an animal, causing unnecessary suffering and pain to an animal, and

Amara Janssens

possession of a knife. The presiding Justice McLean extended her original sentence of six months in order to allow probation officials to put together an incredibly stringent set of probation conditions.

As part of her three-year probation, Bourque is prohibited from accessing the internet, associating with anyone under 18, or possessing duct tape, needles, and knives. She will be required to detail her charges to anyone who visits her at her residence, and no guests are allowed to remain between the hours of 6 p.m. and 6 a.m. Bourque is also banned from owning a pet for the rest of her life.

Bourque’s release from behind bars has made many members of the community uneasy, and there are already petitions and pages online set against Bourque’s reintroduction to society, but SFU director of criminology Robert Gordon advises against incarceration as a successful deterrent for future criminal behavior. He claims that instead of reforming

January 7, 2013

Bourque, her manipulative personality may “begin to affect the inmates around her,” creating possible accomplices and increased chances of recidivism among her peers.

According to Gordon, if the probation does not prove to be stringent enough, the only way to legally and successfully put a stop to future criminal behavior would involve constant, uninterrupted surveillance at all times.

Psychologists were struck by Bourque’s apparent amorality, wasting no time in assessing her as a psychopath with narcissistic disorder. This diagnosis cannot classify Bourque as mentally ill; she is rather a functioning human being that appears to lack any sort of conscience. Doctors also describe her as a “sexual sadist.”

Orphaned at an early age in Romania, the first eight months of Bourque’s life were spent in a Romanian orphanage, in which children are malnourished and abused. Although Bourque was adopted at an early age, the traumatic events experienced during this time could have contributed to her current condition.

A search through Bourque’s room in SFU residence and her home in Prince George initiated by CBC revealed plenty of warning signs. A blue nylon bag containing a seven-inch knife, a razor blade, zip ties, garbage bags, and a needle and a mask

was found in her SFU residence room. Identified as a “kill kit” by the authorities, this was a disturbing sign that Bourque was ready to take the next step in violent crime.

These findings were not the only indicator, and not the earliest. Searches into Bourque’s past revealed that Bourque admitted to having an urge to “kill someone,” and was expelled from a previous high school in Prince George for a violent incident as far back as 2006. Robert Gordon noted this event, and lamented the fact that an individual showing such serious indications of criminal behavior was not taken notice of at an earlier time.

“The inner system was not penetrated [by her actions], so I guess she slipped through.”

Bourque will be residing in a residence provided by the probationary committee, as she is currently not welcomed back home to her family in Prince George.

OPINIONS

On Dec. 21, 22, and 23, Indigenous people of many nations stood up with the visitors who have come to settle on unsurrendered and unceded Coast Salish territory in solidarity against Harper’s latest attempt to desecrate the environment and Indigenous rights in one fell swoop. Bill C-45 has already passed and has become law.

The only positive change from Bill C-45 has been the response: the banding together of Indigenous and non-Indigenous people and standing against Harper’s plan for further committing atrocities against people and the land in Canada. However, much more of this needs to happen to end this. Let’s start the push for action and change from the beginning.

Idle No More began in Saskatchewan with four lawyers who sought to stand up against Harper and Bill C-45. Sylvia McAdams called for Dec. 10 to be the Idle No More national day of action, and on this day and many since there have been, as Chief Stewart Phillips so aptly put it, thousands of people “of all races, of all colours, from all directions, coming together to speak as one voice� including 18 groups who wrote an open letter in opposition to the omnibus bill. Leaders of major Indigenous organizations were barred from entering parliament to contest the bill when it was first introduced in October 2012. Harper would not grant the opportunity to speak out against the bill in its initial stages, and this open letter was an attempt to do so, despite Harper’s muzzling discussion on this issue.

The situation Bill C-45 puts Canadians in makes me think of evictions of BC tenants — whereby tenants who do not

January 7, 2013

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respond to eviction notices are understood to be in tacit consent of the eviction. Although Bill C-45 has already been passed (largely as a result of barring public participation at numerous stages), Canadians should still express their extreme discontent with this bill and tell Harper about their abhorrence. Harper will continue taking advantage of Canadian citizens if they become or continue to be apathetic and politically inactive. Becoming active does not take that much — simply write Harper either a note or a letter.

Other ways to get involved include attending rallies and teachins, reading the numerous wellwritten and informative articles appearing in newspapers, and spreading the word. Send Harper a strong message that his abuse of our parliamentary process is not acceptable.

Chief Theresa Spence protests the bill with a hunger strike, requesting that Harper and the Queen meet with her and other Indigenous leaders to discuss Indigenous rights. Despite the nation-wide attention she has aroused and the gravity of her promise to die for her people, Harper has promptly ignored the Chief, while tweeting insensitive things like “Mmmmm, bacon.�

Spence has become a symbol of dedication to Idle No More, and has contributed to building support for the movement as she lends a human face to it — a human face that Harper unfortunately cannot bring himself to acknowledge.

One Chief that spoke out at an Idle No More peaceful demonstration at the Vancouver Art Gallery on Dec. 23 remarked, “We (Indigenous people) are still here, and are not behind a glass as in a museum.� Let us stand in solidarity with these peoples and force Harper to respect the sovereign authority they rightfully possess, rather than allowing him to treat them as the latest fad of Canadian Tourism.

Bill C-45

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has  already  been  passed  and  has  become  law

i.    The  number  of  protected  major  lakes  and  waterways  in  Canada  has  decreased  from  32,000  to  97  (no,  that  is  not  a  typo)

ii.    Projects  such  as  the  Enbridge  pipeline  may  be  pushed  through  without  any  public  Œ˜—œž•Â?ŠÂ?Â’Â˜Â—ČąÂ˜Â›ČąÂ—Â˜Â?’ęŒŠÂ?’˜—

iii.    Proof  that  such  projects  will  not  damage  any  waterways  in  Canada  is  no  longer  necessary iv.    Release  and/or  surrender  of  reserve  lands  no  longer  requires  a  majority  vote  from  all  eligible  members  –  rather,  all  that  is  required  is  a  small  group  of  band  members  at  a  referendum  or  band  meeting

v.    ‘Žȹ ‹˜›’Â?’—Š•ȹ Ä›ÂŠÂ’Â›ÂœČą ’—’œÂ?ÂŽÂ›ČąÂ–ÂŠÂ˘ČąÂ—Â˜Â ČąÂŒÂŠÂ•Â•ČąÂŠČąÂ‹ÂŠÂ—Â?ȹ–ŽŽÂ?’—Â?ČąÂ˜Â›ČąÂ›ÂŽÂ?Ž›Ž—Â?ž–ǰȹŽ¥™ŽÂ?Â’Â?’—Â?Čą the  process  of  release/surrendering  reserve  lands

10 OPINIONS

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January 7, 2013

Well, the holiday season is over and it’s time to get back to work.

The season of giving sees piles of non-perishable goods and clothing being donated to shelters and charity organizations around the city. It seems that with the first jingles of the Salvation Army bells and the first croons of Christmas carols, we are suddenly inspired to embody all that the holiday spirit is meant to represent:

appreciating what we have and giving to those less fortunate than us. Giving a few cans of Campbell’s soup we found in our cupboard will be enough to absolve us for all the times we walked past homeless people on the street, right? Wrong. While it is certainly admirable to give at any time of the year, the need does not stop with our holiday parties.

With reductions in the number of beds available in shelters, such as First United Church, there has also been a rise in the amount of people that are forced to sleep in the streets at all times of the year — be it in rain or shine or snow. The 2012 Homeless Count found that Vancouver’s number of unsheltered homeless people jumped from 2011’s statistic of

154 to this year’s 306 people. BC’s homeless population is already a high-risk group, with a death rate that is at least 19 per cent higher than the general population. In fact, homelessness was at the forefront of the debates leading up to Vancouver’s 2010 Olympics; several deaths of homeless individuals in the preceding winter drew attention to the fact that maybe this city just wasn’t prepared to deal with “extreme weather conditions” and their effect on the homeless population.

Now, these are all just numbers that prove what we all already know: homelessness is an issue. We’ve heard it before, we’ve seen it before, and it’s not helping the situation to regurgitate these numbers and wail about

past mistakes. I would rather draw attention to our own approach in how we attempt to help the situation. Except for a handful of year-round donors and good Samaritans, there seems to be a huge influx in aid around late November and December, as we all rush to atone for not giving a shit all year. I am not saying that it is wrong to give at this time; I am saying that the need is there all year round and we have to open our eyes and give throughout the year, not just when the cockles of our hearts are being warmed by multiple viewings of It’s a Wonderful Life.

Interestingly enough, it is January, and not December, that tends to be the coldest month in Vancouver, with average lows of

less than one degree Celsius. The timing falls right around the time we’re all getting grumpy again and exchanging our chipper wellwishing for bitching about the weather. Homelessness and need in our city are a constant and, while the solutions are more systemic than individual, reaching out throughout the year could provide for some much-needed support. The food banks that are brimming with cans by Dec. 25 are often more barren by February, but the need remains the same.

Don’t wait for the mass production of Santa hats to spark your spirit of giving; if you can give anything — be it food, money, or time — do so at all times of the year, not just when you’re feeling like handing out Christmas miracles.

as it gained a plurality in Egypt’s lower house, and its presidential candidate Mohamed Morsi was elected. Recent and ongoing events suggest that its influence continues to threaten the harmony and stability of Egyptian society.

promises freedom of religion, it regrettably only applies to certain religious groups. Article 43 only guarantees freedom of worship for followers of “heavenly religions,” defined as Islam, Christianity, and Judaism. This therefore does not extend such a right to other religious minorities, such as followers of the persecuted Baha’i faith.

The newly enacted constitution also presents serious misfortunes for recognized religious groups, such as the country’s prominent Coptic Christian community. Article 212 authorizes the creation of a national regulatory body charged with oversight of public and private endowments. The provision places effective control of the Coptic Orthodox Church’s finances under the Morsi government and abolishes its autonomy. Such blatant forms of state-sponsored discrimination and domination of religious minorities (along with Article 2, declaring Islam as the state religion and Sharia law as the main source of legislation) highlight the Muslim Brotherhood’s disturbing vision of Egypt as a country in which its Muslim majority must dominate at the expense of its religious minorities, with the autonomy and freedom

of the latter being subject to the whims of the former. This newly adopted constitution sets the stage for the further division and polarization of sectarian tensions of the current social cleavages in Egyptian society.

Almost two years after its start, the Arab Spring has unfortunately become the Arab Winter for Egypt. The Egyptian Revolution in early 2011 was initially met with great fanfare by many in the country and around the world, due to its success in

toppling the autocratic regime of Hosni Mubarak. Unfortunately, the hope and optimism for building a democratic, tolerant, and progressive Egypt have now dimmed and been replaced by pessimism and uncertainty.

The country’s first ever free and fair elections last year turned out to be a double-edged sword. While many Egyptians were able to truly exercise their right to vote for their lawmakers and president, Egypt also witnessed the rise of the Muslim Brotherhood’s political affiliate Freedom and Justice Party (FJP) as a potent political force

As part of the process to complete its transition to democracy, a proposed constitution was drawn up, later passed in a popular referendum, and signed into law. Unfortunately, this process, was dominated by Islamists and was anything but democratic, as minority groups were marginalized and their views were not accommodated.

The ultimate outcome was a document reflecting the unfortunate exclusion of various integral elements of Egyptian society. While the document

The devastating consequences of the Islamists’ rise in Egypt are an affront to the Egyptian people’s right to live in an atmosphere characterized by respect, freedom, inclusiveness, and tolerance. More importantly, the lack of alternative powerful and well-organized political forces to counteract the rampant discrimination against religious minorities in Egypt raises question of whether the 2011 Egyptian revolution is bearing its intended fruits, or has simply given rise to a flawed democracy, characterized by the tyranny of the majority.

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January 7, 2013

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FEATURE

January 7, 2013

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Ljudmila Petrovic features@the-peak.ca / 778.782.4560

Word by Ljudmila Petrovic Photo by Mark Burnham Illustration by Eleanor Qu “I’m never drinking again!” I declared dramatically from the couch. It was a regular Saturday morning and I was eating Raisin Bran out of the box, groaning to my roommate about how rough I was feeling. Then it occurred to me: why not? Many social gatherings involve alcohol to one degree or another, something even truer for the demographic I tend to be surrounded by: university students in their 20s. It is often encouraged, or at the very least just accepted and assumed; in fact, when somebody says they don’t drink, it has almost always sparked discussion as to their reasons. Several people I know have done “sober months,” and it inspires me to do so myself, more as a social experiment than anything else: what would the effects on my social life be? How would people react?

I started off by seeing just how big of a dissonance there is between what we as university students view as being “too much” versus what the official recommended intake is. The demographic I asked were all in their 20s, and mostly university students. The answers I got were varied, and few people could give me a guideline as to what they saw as too many drinks. Some factors that were cited in what defines “too much” were the individual’s tolerance, whether it’s a special occasion, and how well that person can “hold their liquor.” Some people attempted to give me a tangible amount, usually three drinks a night, but were quick to say they weren’t big drinkers and to explain that this was why their number was so low.

In fact, The Canadian Center on Substance Abuse states its guidelines for moderate drinking as “10 drinks a week for women, with no more than two drinks a day most days, 15 drinks a week for men,

with no more than three drinks a day most days.” Those individuals that considered themselves to drink less than their peers were actually the ones whose guesses were the closest to the recommended guidelines —though even they were a little high — and furthermore, they were almost apologetic, and felt the need to explain. Several people I asked were unable to quantify the amount that’s considered “too much,” instead insisting that it’s about an individual’s limits and their behavior when under the influence that defines whether they have a drinking problem, rather than a quantifiable and set amount of drinks per sitting or per week.

It’s certainly an issue that needs to be looked at: how do we quantify what is too much so that it reaches across all demographics? What’s healthy is certainly a much different defining factor than what is socially acceptable. After all, the fact that excessive alcohol use has a negative impact on health is true, whether the drinker is a 21-year-old university student or a 55-year-old businessman (except that the latter likely has a longer history of chronic use). However, the university student’s behavior, though unhealthy, is likely to be deemed relatively normal; a middle-aged individual with a career and a family, on the other hand, simply will not be viewed the same in society’s eyes were they to engage in similar behavior. Furthermore, the drinking guidelines and habits vary across cultures: Hong Kong, the UK, and Ireland, for example, all allow for more drinks in their guidelines than Canada and the United States. These are all questions that have thus far been left unanswered, but the fact remains that when it comes to the implementation of these guidelines, people tend to be more affected by the behavior they are surrounded by (as seen in universities, colleges, or some industries like hospitality) than by numbers that a government or health organization outlines for them. This brings me to the social environment of a university like our own.

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I didn’t know what to expect when I first came up with this plan. I figured that because alcohol was part of a social setting, this was also where possible opposition to this idea might come from. And so, I was prepared to deal with certain pressures from peers — yet it never came. A few people were concerned that I wouldn’t be coming to their events because I wasn’t drinking; once I assured them I would be there, but sober, they were calmed and voiced their support. Several people laughed and wished me luck, but for the most part, every person I spoke to was helpful, even musing that they should try it themselves. People still offered me drinks, but more out of forgetfulness and habit than out of disrespect for my choice. Now, I may be particularly lucky with the people in my life, but I also think this also speaks against the common misconception that alcohol consumption in young people is due to peer pressure; if anything, it might be an endogenous drive to bridge a gap between our peers, but I think for the most part, our peers don’t care if we’re drinking or not.

This being said, it never occurred to me just how big of a part alcohol plays in social bonding until I wasn’t drinking it. Of course, my everyday life remained unaffected by the lack of liquor; I didn’t feel any better or any worse for the most part than I normally do. I had the same amounts of energy, the same motivation, and my daily activities did not change. I normally try to maintain a relatively healthy lifestyle anyways, so I didn’t notice a difference in my health in the short term of this experiment, though I think I lost a pound or two (must be something to do with not eating greasy 24/7 Thai food at 3 a.m.). However, whenever I would make plans with somebody, the first suggestion was to “grab a drink or something.” Having to constantly remind people that I wasn’t drinking served only as a further reminder to me of how much the face of our social interactions is affected by alcohol.

I want to say that not drinking forced me to come up with creative alternatives, but to be honest, it either ended in watching a movie on the couch, or doing something that would normally involve alcohol (except that I was drinking club soda). I was set on going about my life as usual and having just as much fun sober. I did, to a certain extent: most activities in our everyday lives are not reliant on alcohol, and so a lack of it does little to change things. Even going out with friends to an event that normally would involve alcohol — such as a night of dancing — can be just as entertaining sober as drunk; in fact, it’s significantly cheaper (if not free), and you feel better in the morning than you would otherwise. This being said, I must admit that there were occasions where I didn’t feel as comfortable as I would have liked. Going to a pub or bar, for example, feels strange when you seem to be the only sober one there. Sure, you could say that conversation is a big part of this kind of outing, which it is, but trying to have a logical and invigorating conversation with people that are getting progressively less coherent is frustrating, to say the least. Again, this really depends on the setting and on the people that you’re with. Each person’s reaction to alcohol is different: some people get messy, some people get happy, some people get mean, and some people don’t seem to change at all. These differences are a lot clearer when you’re a sober observer, which — at least for me — was an introspective experience. It made me think about my own behavior objectively, and it also made me see social interactions objectively.

Not surprisingly, one of the main effects that this had on my life was financial. It’s easy to rack up a bar tab when drinks average $5–7. I generally stuck to club soda, which for those not familiar with the drink, is like a vodka-soda, but without the vodka. My bar tab never went over $3 for that entire month — sometimes it was even free — and, let me tell you, I was a hell of a lot more hydrated than anybody else in that bar. If nothing else, staying sober is fiscally responsible. I certainly noticed that I went out less. I had expected that this would raise my productivity, but in all honesty, I just had more nights watching trash TV on my couch than usual.

January 7, 2013

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There was also a common theme of “when this is over” that kept being brought up by my friends and acquaintances; but when the end of my sober month came and went, I didn’t even realize.

In fact, the timing coincided with exams, so I ended up having a sober month-and-a-half, simply because I had no desire to drink.

Drinking is a social staple in my life and in the lives of almost everyone I know, and I think we all have a skewed perception of what is an acceptable amount to drink, but once I made the conscious choice to abstain from alcohol, it wasn’t difficult. There were times when alcohol is culturally symbolic — grabbing a beer as a symbol of camaraderie and friendship, or toasting as a symbol of celebration — but for the most part, it is habit, comfort, and association with fun and enjoyment that keep most of us doing what we do. This has been my experience, but others’ will vary. An Australian initiative, Ocsober, encourages people to give up alcohol for the month of October (also known as Sober October) to raise awareness and money for charity. Whatever your reason — be it charity, to test yourself, or just to give your body and bank account a break — and whatever your time of choice, giving up a vice such as alcohol is an enlightening and healthy experience for anyone.

19% did it multiple times per day.

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A man puts tape on the floor to indicate a floor plan. He addresses the cameraman and describes his planned film exhaustively: the location — here’s the bedroom, here’s the window, here’s the alley — the characters, the blocking, how long shots will last, the dialogue, and more. After 10 minutes of talking non-stop, he suddenly goes silent. Something seems to be bothering him. After a quiet moment, he intones, “If we could tell a film, then why make a film?” Then he walks away to be alone.

The man is Jafar Panahi, an Iranian filmmaker whose films have criticized Iranian society, particularly the marginalization of women. Consequently,

Daryn Wright arts@the-peak.ca / 778.782.4560

in 2010 he was sentenced to six years in prison and a 20-year ban on filmmaking for propaganda against the government.

As Panahi sat in his apartment, waiting for the response to an appeal, he made a film about his experience. It was smuggled out of Iran on a USB drive hidden in a cake. Its title was This Is Not a Film. It escaped. Panahi stayed.

What the filmmaker realizes as he explains his last, unfilmed script on video — an act that he and his cameraman justify to themselves by saying that he is not making a film, just appearing on camera — is that much of what a film is cannot be explained beforehand. He shows DVDs of his films and points out location details and

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performance tics he couldn’t plan for. No such things show up in his floor plan or descriptions. You cannot tell a film. So this is not a film.

Panahi has a deep need to make movies, and watching his anguish as he desperately tries to figure out how to make a film without making a film is horrifying. What he does is incidental: he lives in his apartment, watches the news, tends to his pet iguana, refuses to take care of a neighbour’s dog. He gets bad news from his lawyer by phone.

On the night of a fireworks celebration, a friend tells him that there is public unrest outside.

Panahi looks out the window.

All of this is done in scenes of modest cinematography

An oft-repeated adage of filmic craftsmanship is that sound is fully half of the experience. A professional sound designer will likely amend that to “at least half.” Berberian Sound Studio is the story of a man for whom that “at least” grows into the experience entire.

That man is Gilderoy (Toby Jones), a British sound expert who has been hired to work on an Italian giallo horror film, a 1970s genre whose soundscapes were often created entirely in dedicated recording studios. Gilderoy, who is used to more docile work, is shocked and horrified at the content to which he is asked to give aural life, and fills his days by squashing melons to smash flesh, or snapping carrots to break bones. As he endures the criticisms and delayed paychecks of his Italian employers, only letters from his mother give the timid Gilderoy relief from the screaming, drowning, stabbing, and splattering that fill his days and threaten him with mental breakdown.

In a masterstroke by sophomore writer-director Peter Strickland, the accompanying sights are never shown onscreen. Though the studio runs the film in order to do sound work, we never actually see the gruesome on-screen images that obsess Gilderoy’s ears.

Instead, Berberian Sound Studio merges the audio component of the film-within-a-film with the apparatus behind its creation.

The effect of this is that both the audience and Gilderoy begin

January 7, 2013

(the cameraman, Mojtaba Mirtahmasb, reveals that he is an amateur) and simple incidents.

It works because Panahi himself is a terrific man to spend 70 minutes with; he’s always intensely engaged with his surroundings and his filmmaking, he’s passionate, and he’s funny.

He is also in the midst of an epiphany, as he slowly comes to realize exactly what it takes to make a difference.

What’s extraordinary about This Is Not a Film is how it answers the title’s implicit question, “What makes a film?”

The answer finally comes in an ending sequence that contains a single extended shot of immense bravery. Panahi at last grabs the camera himself and

to recognize the horror soundtrack as Gilderoy’s soundtrack, a trenchant comment on the relationship between artists and their work, as well as the way that sound creates meaning. That goes not only for the sound effects Gilderoy creates, but for the language barrier between him and his producer, or the ironic silence of the written word.

The effect is not a comforting one. Beyond Gilderoy’s awkward cowardice and his producer’s unending reprimands, the gradual integration of the sounds and music of murder into the wimpy Brit’s psyche becomes a horror movie unto itself. As pressure mounts and his work grows ever more horrible, he begins to soundtrack his own life in order to better cope with his

illegally takes it into the hallway outside his apartment.

He conducts an impromptu documentary interview with a man taking out the trash in the apartment building. What comes next is as surprising as it is inspiring.

It’s an erudite work, made great sheerly by the act of making it, and its modest production and release constitute an immense moral achievement equal to any other in cinema history. What makes a film? A human being with the courage and the drive to pick up a camera and do it.

What makes a film? A human being with the courage and the drive to pick up a camera and do it.

discomfort. Gilderoy deteriorates further and further. In a late scene, he uses sound as a weapon rather than face his aggressor, resulting in a truly disturbing moment of audio torture.

But Berberian Sound Studio is not merely a chilly formal exercise. It is a psychological thriller in the fullest sense of the words, one whose dedication to its concept only furthers the sense of being trapped in a whirlpool. Its sound design instantly establishes itself as one of the greatest of all time, because there is not one moment of the film when it isn’t overturning our whole notion of what sound really is, and because it may be the only time when it is not the sounds, but the entire concept of sound that frightens us.

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January 7, 2013

15

To make a film that is slow and contemplative comes with a burden. It’s not enough to simply remove incident and leave the audience with a few scraps of symbolism; each moment not spent directly advancing story and character dynamics has to have the aesthetic reach to grab and hold our undivided attention. In other words, it has to look fantastic, and do so in a meaningful, compelling way.

This is not to suggest that Barbara is lacking in plot. Director Christian Petzold and his co-writer Harun Farocki provide plenty of material to fill its running time, with a story of the paranoia and loss

suffered under the eye and boot of the Stasi in East Germany circa 1980. The central character, Barbara (Nina Hoss), is a victim of that state, a physician who has requested to leave the country to be with her husband in West Germany.

For her attempted secession, she is punished with a transfer from the illustrious Charite medical school in East Berlin to an unremarkable little hospital by the sea.

Barbara receives regular attention from the secret police, enduring frequent apartment searches and humiliating strip searches. Andre Reiser (Ronald Zehrfeld), a fellow doctor at the

hospital, is asked by the Stasi to befriend her and provide them with reports on her thoughts and activities. Barbara quickly recognizes his motives and rebuffs him, and finds time to secretly meet her wealthy husband while planning her escape from the Soviet state.

It is, as I said, quite an involved story, and that’s part of the reason why, in the movie’s many long stretches where Barbara sits, walks, or bicycles from one place to another, it’s not just acceptable downtime, but an essential part of the piece’s mood and narrative. It’s a slowburn suspense film of sorts, one where quiet conversations

and glances out of windows are loaded with implications and questions — “Should she trust him? Do the Stasi know where she is? Will she escape?” Underlying all these questions is Barbara’s predicament of a life lived under the duress of state scrutiny.

Given how quiet and guarded her character is, the intelligence and sensitivity that Hoss shows makes for a sensational performance. Rather than play Barbara the obvious way — as an emotionally armoured bitch with a secret — Hoss grounds her jadedness in real fears and feelings: this is a woman who wants to trust and befriend

people, but knows all too well the risks in a police state.

Doing further work for the actors is the film’s aforementioned aesthetic design, which surely makes the best use of colour of any film in 2012.

Gold, blue, red, and green all have very specific purpose, and are used with incredible consistency and originality. It’s enough to keep the words “slow” and “contemplative” from crossing our mind until after the fact. To watch Barbara is to be engrossed with a story that examines choices between satisfaction and sacrifice, between trust and safety, with utter grace and beauty.

It is rare to see a cinematic civics lesson whose insights damn the fallibility of American government while insisting that there is always room to do good.

The Hollywood studio system typically mandates that political content explicitly espouse cynicism or fawn over democracy; it’s easier to have audiences swallow one or the other, unclouded by ambiguity. That system permits few aberrations.

In that respect, Lincoln may be the first of its kind since 2005’s Good Night and Good Luck, and the best of its kind in longer still; a film whose political insights (unearthed by Tony Kushner’s unerring screenplay) proliferate and complicate in every scene, be they backroom deals in civil war-era Washington or domestic drama between Lincoln (Daniel Day-Lewis) and

his wife Mary (Sally Field).

The brilliance of Steven Spielberg’s film, the story of the 16th president’s efforts to use congress to pass the 13th amendment to forever abolish slavery, is that it never lets unrelenting intelligence drag it down into shallow despair.

Critically, it doesn’t conflate a love for Lincoln’s achievements with a love of American government. Lincoln himself professes that latter love, even as he flouts it constantly: he earns votes through bribery and cajoling, he lies both to fellow politicians and to the voters, and he betrays his personal principles with his rhetoric. Means to an end, and necessary ones: the people are ignorant and wrong, the politicians are self-involved or incurably racist, and as it goes one often has to check personal principles

at the door to get anything done in politics.

But this is, after all, the 13th amendment we’re talking about here, and the race to have it passed by a largely unwilling house is as thrilling as anyone could have hoped, a political procedural that achieves tension by colliding moral dilemma with political pragmatism. In an early speech to his cabinet, Lincoln points out that his Emancipation Proclamation was made under legally tenuous grounds of war, and that Reconstruction may yet reverse it. The only permanent solution is an amendment that is useful in the public mind only as a means of procuring black soldiers for the union; the loss of human property is undesirable if there are no white boys to bring back home. So, in order to free the slaves forever, Lincoln must

prolong the war by delaying and concealing a Confederate peace delegation.

It’s an old-fashioned mentalking-in-rooms yarn, the sort that’s easy to under-direct — by placing the camera in graduated distances from the actor, rolling, and letting the talking do all the talking — but Spielberg here provides incontestable proof that his eye and sensibilities are not merely attuned to spectacle. His camera roves with a perfect understanding of the performances created by the script and actors, carefully marking out their actions and reactions as Michael Kamen’s editing finds each shot in the right moments, at the right pace. This craftsmanship makes men-talking-in-rooms scenes not only an exchange of compelling and complicated ideas, but a volleying of personal interests

and emotional stakes, presided over by the film’s namesake.

Day-Lewis’s Lincoln is a sight to see; be he telling folksy stories, forbidding his son from enlistment, or navigating selfish or cowardly democrats into a vote for the amendment, there is a constant impression of a moral and political genius at work. As both friend and foe ask more and more of him, he draws deeper and deeper from a well of empty assurances, concealed self-contradictions, and moral pleas disguised as political negotiations.

Spielberg and Kushner know that the competing self-interests within institutions are tragic and intractable. They also know that knowing that is not enough. Lincoln is as moving a valorization of pragmatism as can be found: realistic, but never cynical; inspiring, but never trite.

A 60-minute feature film six years in the making, It’s Such a Beautiful Day is the solo work of stickman-maestro Don Hertzfeldt, who made his name with the Oscar-nominated short Rejected in 2000. A melancholic narration (done, like almost everything else, by Herzfeldt himself) tells the life story of Bill, a man with an unnamed neurological disease that causes him worsening dementia and memory loss, and may be fatal. That life story is elliptical as all-getout: the film doesn’t merely employ temporal jumping, secondhand stories, and Bill simply standing or sitting and watching his wasted life go by; it traffics in experiments as a norm.

What makes Beautiful Day a no-holds-barred masterpiece is that despite (and because of) its avant-garde structure and simplistic drawings, it is immensely

funny, accessible, and even touching, often all at once (the narration deadpans lines like “This morning he couldn’t remember where he put the clinic’s daily memory quizzes.”) Hertzfeldt’s stick figures are animated with miraculous expressiveness, and the film bursts with dazzling colours and in-camera effects.

These effects — along with use of expressive sound design, classical music, and voiceover that puts Terrence Malick to shame — do not play against the stick figures as some ironic counterpoint, but legitimize them. So when the final chapter depicts a man who appreciates his life but does not understand that it is about to end, the stick figures are not a sarcastic joke, but a beautiful, evocative understatement.

In the history of animated films, few are this bracing and beautiful, and to my knowledge,

none are this profound. The film is only three 20-minute chapters — originally released as individual shorts as each was completed — but it is an incredibly dense 60 minutes, and its mysteries and revelations only deepen with repeated viewings. Take its opening scene: two acquaintances walk by each other on the street, exchange a few awkward half-sentences, then pass and never see each other again. On first glance, it is a bit of absurd comedy caked in nihilism. But on further thought, questions arise: did Bill forget because it didn’t matter, or because of his condition? An even more unsettling question: does this never-seen-again acquaintance have the same condition as Bill?

What is his life story?

It’s Such a Beautiful Day is only widely available on DVD by order on Hertzfeldt’s website, but is worth seeking out, especially

since the animator’s films are entirely self-funded. Technical brilliance and intelligent filmmaking have rarely met in the field of animation, and if an outlier talent like Hertzfeldt’s is not supported, it’s liable to fall from the face of the earth.

16 ARTS

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Daryn Wright arts@the-peak.ca / 778.782.4560

Fans of Steven Ellison’s last album under his Flying Lotus moniker, Cosmogramma, might have been disappointed on first listen of Until the Quiet Comes : his latest effort sheds its predecessor’s bombastic, danceable electronica for quiet, reflective, jazz-inspired ambience. However, while it may not be as immediately accessible, Until the Quiet Comes is just

as inventive and fascinating as any of Flying Lotus’s previous work. Ellison describes it as “a record for kids to dream to,” and it’s easy to see the parallel between the album’s shifting time signatures and tones and the dynamic environment of a dream. The album also creates a sense of dreamlike, ethereal intimacy through its use of musical dynamics and its obscured

vocal samples, both staples in Ellison’s discography. It has a diverse range of influences: Taking cues from artists such as Can, Stereolab and John Coltrane (Ellison’s great-uncle by marriage) and incorporating ideas from New Age philosophy and metaphysics, Flying Lotus has created a complex, original and beautiful record that reveals new layers on each listen.

Frank Ocean’s fantastic studio debut will always be linked with his now-famous Tumblr confession, in which he waxed poetic about his self-described first love: a man. channel ORANGE has since been picked apart by critics and listeners alike through the lens of Ocean’s sexuality, some describing him as brave and others as deviant.

What these preoccupations ignore is the universality of

Ocean’s music: torch songs like “Thinkin Bout You” and “Bad Religion” ache with longing that transcends sexual categorization, and Ocean’s talent for storytelling and infective choruses (with a little help from Malay, his key musical collaborator) make channel ORANGE an album which goes beyond the hype and will surely outlive the controversy. Ocean shines above all as a vocalist:

his smooth baritone and expressive falsetto give depth to the album’s tales of love, loss, addiction, class and confusion while grounding its surrealistic imagery in genuine human emotion. Whether Ocean is the new Prince or Stevie Wonder is unclear, but it’s impossible not to see channel ORANGE’s openness, honesty, and emotional depth as belonging to a bygone era.

Godspeed You! Black Emperor’s music is often difficult to categorize. Their albums are most commonly fit to the post-rock genre, but that doesn’t seem to fully encompass the strange, multilayered and life-affirming sound for which the band is so revered. If there’s one category that GY!BE have never fit under, it’s “timeless.” Each of the band’s previous albums seemed to fit perfectly into the time periods in which they were

released: the early internet age, the beginning of the Bush era, the first post-9/11 year. The band members themselves are often characterized as anarchistic, and they encourage political interpretation of their music. It seems strange, then, that their first album in ten years — ‘Allelujah! Don’t Bend! Ascend! , which centers around two pieces that have been part of their live repertoire for years — stills sounds so of its time. Maybe it’s

that the album was released on a tumultuous election year, a year peppered with foreign policy failures and doomsday fears.

Maybe it’s the sense of urgency in Godspeed’s music, which is applicable to the present day just as well as it was ten years ago. Whatever the case, ‘Allelujah! Don’t Bend! Ascend! should put any fears of GY!BE’s waning talent to rest: they still make a fantastic soundtrack to the tumult and confusion of the now.

Bruce Springsteen once famously described the snare shot that begins Bob Dylan’s “Like A Rolling Stone” as sounding “like somebody’d kicked open the door to your mind.” Death Grips’ The Money Store is the album version of that sound: powerful, challenging, and liberating.

Zach Hill and Stefan “MC Ride” Burnett’s music defies genre and category. The music on The

Money Store is uneasy, anxious and difficult. However, Burnett’s yelping vocals and abstract lyrics are as powerful as they are weary: haunted by tinny samples and dissonant electronics, his voice is Death Grips’s anchor and greatest asset. Tracks like “Hacker” and “I’ve Seen Footage” veer into casually accessible territory, as though Burnett is inviting you into his

own mangled, unfamiliar world.

The duo is often characterized by their detractors as alienating and incoherent, and admittedly there have been easier albums in 2012 to listen to front-to-back.

But The Money Store’s brilliance comes from its commitment to its own individuality. This isn’t an album made with a specific audience in mind — it plays for whoever is willing to listen.

January 7, 2013

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Daryn Wright arts@the-peak.ca / 778.782.4560

January 7, 2013

Lonerism is perhaps the most aptly titled record of 2012: Kevin Parker’s psychedelic rock project Tame Impala has made catchy, buoyant psychedelic rock in the past, but on his latest effort, he’s made one of the most essential bedroom rock records in recent memory.

As accessible and optimistic as Tame Impala’s music sounds, Lonerism is an intensely solitary record. Tracks like “Be

Above It�, “Why Won’t They Talk To Me�, and “Nothing That Has Happened So Far Has Been Anything We Could Control� are songs tailor-made for loners, written by a loner with a guitar and a sneering John Lennon voice. The tracks here might remind older listeners of the music of their youth, but Tame Impala’s nostalgic quality translates better through their lyrics than through their music:

Parker’s words befit high school memories of wasted days, lonely nights, desperate mix tapes and inaccessible social circles. He wears his influences on his sleeve, to be sure, but Parker’s songs add up to more than the sum of their predecessors: Lonerism is a record that stands alone, destined to be discovered by many lonely rock-and-roll high schoolers to come.

Attack on Memory is noisy, messy, and vibrantly alive in a way few other records in 2012 have been (sorry, Japandroids).

Frontman and former one-manband Dylan Baldi has never made an album as dark and as imperfect as this one, and his decision to bring Steve Albini of Pixies and Nirvana fame into the fold as the album’s producer only helps to further separate Attack on Memory from everything that came before it. But

where the album could’ve ended up being an uneven and cautious shift into uncharted musical territory, it feels more like a talented young artist finding a voice that suits him perfectly. “Stay Useless�, the album’s best track and one of the best songs of 2012, acts as the perfect bridge between Baldi’s pop tendencies and the darker, dirtier sound Cloud Nothings have explored this year. Its protagonist is confused and yearns for

solitude, but the music is uplifting and enduring: hopeful in the face of Baldi’s snarling vocal.

This trend of musical and lyrical contrast is characteristic of the album’s Midwestern emo influences, which share the spotlight with Baldi’s talent for lo-fi, grungy pop. Baldi has found a sound that works for him, and a band to make it happen: Attack on Memory stands out as the best “indie rock� record of the year, whatever that means.

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17

18 ARTS

arts editor email / phone

Daryn Wright arts@the-peak.ca / 778.782.4560

Mike Hadreas’s voice falters throughout his second album as Perfume Genius, Put Your Back N2 It. He’s not trained as a singer; his voice is nasal and thin throughout the album’s 12 tracks, and often a lyric sheet is required to pick up on what he’s saying. But it’s absolutely worth it to do so. Put Your Back N2 It is lyrically dense and sometimes vague, but also deeply heartfelt and intuitive. Hadreas’s lyrics have proven to be just as crucial to the appeal of his music as his gentle, strikingly beautiful piano playing.

On his 2010 debut, Learning, he took his most intimate, traumatic experiences and translated them into haunting piano balladry. Put Your Back N2 It still draws deeply and poetically from Hadreas’ personal struggles, but it also displays a shift towards songs written for others: album centerpiece “Dark Parts” is written for Hadreas’s mother, a victim of sexual abuse; “17” is directed towards gay teenagers with body image issues; and “Put Your Back N 2 It” is a deeply personal love song for Hadreas’s

boyfriend and musical collaborator Alan Wyffels. Where Learning was a remarkably poignant album in its own right, Put Your Back N2 It is the work of a songwriter who’s proven capable of writing engaging music not only about his own experiences, but about the experiences of those around him as well. It’s a beautiful and nakedly emotional album that tempers its heavy subject matter with a cynical, weary but ultimately persevering sense of optimism.

Even at the tail end of 2012, a dark year in a so-far dark millennium full of uncertainty, apathy and pessimism, Kaoru Ishibashi is making music that proves that optimism and joy never truly go out of style.

151a, the first full-length solo album he’s released under his pseudonym Kishi Bashi, is the best pop record of the year by a fairly wide margin: a sugary sweet mix of exuberant Japanese chants, plucky violins, schoolyard hand claps and intoxicating hooks. Ishibashi’s expressive

vocals and inexhaustible energy are completely contagious, and his lyrics are at times introspective and life-affirming. 151a also builds on Kishi Bashi’s first release, 2011’s remarkable Room for Dream EP: Ishibashi experiments with soulful balladry on “I Am the Antichrist to You”, apes Feels-era Animal Collective on “Chester’s Burst Over the Hamptons”, and even incorporates folky singer-songwriter elements and Eastern-style sonic arrangements into “Atticus, In the Desert”.

Ishibashi isn’t afraid to try his hand at any and every genre that piques his interest, and on 151a he never misses a beat. His achingly beautiful violin work ties each song together, and his versatile use of his preferred instrument is key not only to his engaging live performances but also to the variety of his incendiary debut.

151a is the work of a uniquely talented man who genuinely enjoys making music, and whose enthusiasm for his art shines through in every song.

Fiona Apple’s reputation precedes her. She’s been making honest, deeply introverted piano songs since before it was trendy, and fans and detractors alike surely expected her first album in seven years, The Idler Wheel, to follow suit. What they most likely didn’t expect was that the album would be so naked — Apple’s songs here lack the elaborate production typical of her previous efforts, opting instead for a stripped down piano-and-percussion sound that suits her cracked, confessional

vocal style perfectly. Apple’s musicality has steadily improved over the course of her career, and The Idler Wheel finds her experimenting with a style that sounds as intimate and genuine as her transcendental lyrics. Many of 2012’s most notable albums have been honest — channel ORANGE, Put Your Back N2 It, and this list’s top pick among them — but none so honest as The Idler Wheel. Apple’s words are sometimes uncomfortably real, and they serve to encapsulate both Apple’s career and her

enduring appeal perfectly (“How can I ask anyone to love me/When all I do is beg to be left alone?”)

Apple snarls, holds back tears and takes no prisoners throughout the album’s 10 near-perfect tracks, and her talent for finding the poetry in her own pain has never been better than on this album. The Idler Wheel may have been Apple’s way of exorcising her own demons, but the album’s courageous honesty has doubtlessly helped countless listeners to do the same.

When I first wrote about Kendrick Lamar in my Peak article “5 New Artists You Should Be Listening

To”, the rapper’s popularity was just beginning to spread from hiphop fans and Compton natives to

casual music listeners and Pitchfork addicts alike. Nearly two months later, it seems impossible not to have heard Lamar’s name: GKMC has skyrocketed the young MC’s popularity, and the album has received accolades across the board, some calling it an “instant classic” while others still have compared it to Nas’ influential opus Illmatic. It seems strange, then, to write about this album that I love so dearly, knowing that so many others have accepted it in the same way while others still have denounced it as overhyped, overplayed and overrated. Listening to the album for the umpteenth time, its 12 tracks still sound fresh, powerful and ultimately transcendental. GKMC tells the story of a single fateful day in Lamar’s life as a young man in Compton, from his flirtations with

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the seductive Sherane to his struggles with peer pressure and gang violence. Lamar’s flow is unparalleled, and his charismatic performances on tracks like “m.A.A.d city” and “Sing About Me, I’m Dying of Thirst” solidify his status as hip-hop’s new poster boy. No other album in 2012 reached the

creative heights that this one did, whether on first listen or 27th.

GKMC might never outlive the overwhelming hype that now surrounds it, but taken as the product of a singular creative voice, Lamar’s studio debut is courageous, inventive, reflective and compulsively listenable.

SPORTS

sports editor email / phone

January 7, 2013

Bryan Scott sports@the-peak.ca / 778.782.4560

19

minute, but the ball clanked off the post and out. The Clan only managed one shot on target in the first half, but Blakely made three saves in the other net.

Before their Final Four appearance, the Simon Fraser men’s soccer team had already made history. They were the first nonAmerican school to compete in the NCAA championship tournament, and put together several excellent games to make it to the semifinals. Going into the game, the Clan were on a 15-unbeaten streak, and were the only top-rank seed left in the tournament. Their opponents from Saginaw Valley State, the Cardinals, were no slouches themselves, riding a 13-game winning streak into the match.

The Clan were a little slow out of the gate, and goaltender JD Blakely made two saves early on to keep the game even. But in the 15th minute, Cardinal forward Zach Walega buried the ball in the top of the net after receiving the ball in the box. The lead remained at halftime. Carlo Basso came closest to tying the game in the 19th

The second half didn’t start the way that SFU had hoped. In the 52nd minute, Cardinal midfielder Lachlan Savage knocked in goal number 11 on the year, and gave Saginaw Valley a 2–0 lead. Four minutes later, the Cardinals pushed their lead out of the Clan’s reach when Zach Myers buried the insurance marker. Just after falling behind by three, Basso got the Clan on the board, cutting the lead to 3–1. That was as close as they would get, and with the loss they were eliminated from the tournament. “To lose in the semifinal of a Final Four is incredibly frustrating. I take my hat off to Saginaw Valley, their work rate was incredible,” said Clan head coach Alan Koch after the loss.

Despite being unable to

bring the championship title back to Burnaby, the Clan should hold their heads high.

Blakely who backstopped the Clan for the whole tournament, had a bittersweet feeling about the season, “We battled through some hard times. Coming into the NCAA tournament for the first time was exciting, and we took it in stride. To end

Simon Fraser’s women’s basketball team was in action one last time before ringing in the 2013 schedule. They hosted the Trinity Western Spartans and handled them with ease in front of 130 fans.

It took about five minutes for the Clan to shake off their holiday legs. The Spartans took the lead by three before the

Clan awoke from their slumber.

The next several minutes saw the Clan build up a 10-point lead, 25–15, with just over seven minutes left in the first half.

They maintained their play to have a nine-point edge at the end of the half.

The Clan kept pressing in the second half. They increased their lead to 34 points in the first 10 minutes of the half. The Clan defense shut down the Spartans, and secured a 87–55 win for SFU, and improved their season record to 9–1.

Nayo Raincock-Ekunwe made history during this game with her 24 rebounds, which

is a new Great Northwest Athletic Conference record. She is one of 10 players to ever get at least 20 rebounds in a single game. However, she is already on that list from last season, when she put up 22 rebounds in a game in 2011. She also put up 23 points in the game, leading to her sixth double-double of the season, putting her career total to 47. She was rewarded for her efforts; RaincockEkunwe was named the Red Lion Player of the Week in the GNAC. The team has also been ranked ninth in the USA Today Top 25 poll; they are the highest ranked team in the GNAC.

it here is certainly frustrating, though.”

The Clan finish the season with a 19–2–1 record, their only other loss came earlier in the year, when they fell at the hands of the Northwest Nazarene Crusaders.

After the tournament, two members of the team were selected to the 2012 First Team

All-Americans by the National Soccer Coaches Association of America (NCSAA): Basso and Michael Winter. Helge Neumann earned Second Team honours. Neumann was also named to the NSCAA Scholar All-American team, which requires a 3.30 grade point average throughout the athlete’s career.

20 SPORTS

sports editor email / phone

Bryan Scott sports@the-peak.ca / 778.782.4560

January 7, 2013

The Simon Fraser men’s basketball team was in action for a couple of road games before the winter break began. Their first destination was San Rafael, CA, where they took on the Dominican University of California Penguins. The Clan were unable to defeat their opponents, losing the game decidedly 96–60. Next, they continued south to San Francisco, where they lost a close battle to the Academy of Art University Urban Knights.

As a nice holiday gift, there was some university hockey action over the winter break. The 2012 Great Northwest Showcase (GNS) brought the Arizona State Sun Devils, the University of Oklahoma Sooners, the University of British Columbia Thunderbirds and Simon Fraser’s men’s hockey team to Bill Copeland arena in Burnaby. Each American team played each Canadian once for the two day event.

SFU took on Oklahoma, after UBC handled Arizona State 8–2 in the first game. The first period was exciting. SFU goalie Evan Kurylo was impressive early on, keeping the game scoreless with back-toback saves. Jonathan Ceci got SFU on the board when he buried a rebound from a Ben Van Lare point shot. They picked up their play further as the period continued,

when two Sooners giveaways led to SFU breakaways. But Sooners goalie Colin Fernandes was there to shut the door. With less than 30 seconds remaining in the period, Colton Graf got the puck near his own blue line, dangled a Sooner defenseman, and fired a bullet top shelf in the far side of the net.

The Sooners outshot SFU 17–15 in the period but trailed 2–0.

SFU tried to pad their lead early in the second, but Fernandes was able to stop a one-timer attempt by Brenden Silvester and block the ensuing rebound. Later in the period, SFU finally added another goal when Tony Oak took a pass from Ceci and broke into the zone and towards the corner.

He found Tadz Brown out front who slipped it passed Fernandes

for the 3–0 lead.

The third period was the Evan Kurylo show. He was phenomenal in the final frame, making save after save on his way to a 50-save shutout. With two minutes left, he absolutely robbed a Sooners player who fired from point blank in front of the net to conserve the goose egg for his squad. Silvester got his revenge from earlier scoring in the third to make the final 4–0 for SFU. In a predictable manner, Kurylo was awarded the player of the game for his effort.

The next day saw UBC defeat Oklahoma 4–3 in overtime. SFU could not complete the Canadian sweep as they fell to the Sun Devils 5–3. Ceci led the tournament in points with two goals and four assists, and Van Lare was tied for second with four assists.

SFU is currently in second place in the British Colombia Intercollegiate Hockey League (BCIHL) with a record of 8–1.

They continued their season last weekend against the University of Victoria and Thompson Rivers University. Results can be found at www.sfuhockey.com.

In the first game, the beginning of the first half was back and forth. About a quarter of the way through the game, both teams had the lead at least once. The game was tied at 11, when Clan guard nailed backto-back free throws to give them the lead. Unfortunately, this was the last time the Clan saw the lead in the game. After trailing by just one with just

over eight minutes in the half, the Penguins went on 10–0 run over the next two minutes, and then followed that up with another run, giving them a substantial 50–33 lead at halftime.

The second half was much of the same. The Penguins dominated and got 35 points of the bench in the half to secure the win. Matt Raivio led the Clan with 11 points and three rebounds.

The Clan headed into San Francisco hoping to finish their 2012 portion of the season on a winning note. The game was tight in the opening minutes, which saw the Clan take an early 2–1 lead but they could not maintain it. They were solid from the free throw line in the first half, but trailed by eight at 36–28 when the time ran out on the half. Clan senior forward Milos Milosevic led the Clan with 12 points in the half, and Ibrahim Appiah added nine points, including five free throws.

The Clan slouched out of the gates to start the half, and allowed the Urban Knights to lead by as many as 15 points early on. But the Clan battled back to close the gap and tie the game at 58 on two free throws

by Anto Olah. The teams traded the lead over the next few minutes, but the Urban Knights finished on a 8–2 run to end the game with a three-point victory.

The loss leaves the Clan a 5–4 on the season. They will begin a more conference-oriented schedule in 2013.

HUMOUR

January 7, 2013

This Week’s Peak Humour | resolves to be the best Humour section ever . . . published in January . . . of a prime-number year . . . not including 2003 or 2011.

Ah, New Years, a time for clean breaks and new beginnings, like moving to Mexico to start a new life without all the back-alley plastic surgery. Anyways January rolls around again, and we can leave all the terrible, illegal, and unforgivable things we did in the past and move forward. New Years does come with its own can of worms, and I’m not talking about the mad-dash to find someone to drunkenly suck-face to Auld Lang Syne with at midnight.

What I am talking about is your New Year’s resolution, the promise of selfimprovement you make to yourself so you can better than you used to be. I mean, have you ever met past-you? That guy sucks.

But self-improvement is hard. If it wasn’t, then reality TV probably wouldn’t be a thing. So the question becomes, “How can I improve myself without all of that effort and sweat that motivated people are so keen about?” Well we at The Peak have come up with four handy tips to make you marginally better than you were last year.

People dream too big nowadays, which is just a trap to set yourself up for failure. Sure you’ll resolve to lose 20 pounds, but after three weeks of healthy eating and early-morning workouts, you’ll find yourself on the kitchen floor spooning a salty mixture of tears and Haagen-Dazs into your gullet. The trick to avoiding these potholes is to start small, and then never, ever work your way up. It’s as easy as 1-2-3, only you never get past one.

While money can solve the majority of one’s problems, when it comes to New Year’s resolutions there is no substitute for sheer discipline and willpower or, barring that, even more money. Did you know that you can pay people to do things for you? For literally every vice, goal or love handle that exists, there also exists some person who yell, listen or scam you into being the person you want to be, and for a modest fee of only $49.99 per month of the first three months, then $79.99 afterward.

Or more accurately, opt to celebrate Chinese New Year’s instead. Not only will you separate yourself from the pack (Yeah I used to use the Gregorian calendar too, before it sold out), you’ll get to immerse yourself in a whole new holiday, one based predominantly around firecrackers and dragon costumes. Plus, no one really knows when Chinese New Year’s is coming since it uses the Lunar calendar, there’s no time to plan out your resolution, and it will likely ending up being “I resolve to figure out when Chinese New Year’s falls on next year.” But you won’t.

What? Your resolution is to be more awesome? Hahahahah — kill yourself.

Well there you have it. Four foolproof tips for you to make 2013 the most passable year ever. Though it likely won’t help too much since this issue of the paper doesn’t come out until the 7th. I guess my resolution should’ve been “I resolve to get this into my editor on time.” Haha— oh god, number four. I’m sorry everyone, goodbye.

humour editor email / phone

Gary Lim humour@the-peak.ca / 778.782.4560

21

22 HUMOUR

WASHINGTON — In a press conference held last Thursday on the steps of the Treasury building, head of the US Department of the Treasury Allan Gorewick announced to a crowd of reporters “the first steps to securing the nation’s financial future.” Gorewick then laid out a new five-year plan plan to reduce the country’s 1.3 trillion-dollar deficit by

humour editor email / phone

Gary Lim humour@the-peak.ca / 778.782.4560

firing it into the molten heart of the sun.

Gorewick described the historic undertaking to the hushed crowd.

“At its current rate of growth, China’s economy stands to outpace the US economy by 2015. While our nation’s status as a first-world economic power has weakened in the wake of the recession, this is the first concrete evidence of our waning role in the global economy. Because of these dire times, President Barack Obama has given the Department of the Treasury the authority to ‘just fix it. I don’t care how. I’m the president for Christsakes and If you don’t fix this I’ll Guantanamo Bay you so hard, we will all be speaking Chinese by the time you get out.’

“As such, we will first simplify the tax situation by compounding our massive debt.

Currently, the United States is in debt to dozens of countries.

By the buying and selling of loans, we will consolidate that loan into a single lump sum, which in the second stage we will load onto a rocket and fire into our sun.

“Now, while debt isn’t a physical object, our receipts, credit reports, and tax documents are. So what we need is for each citizen to empty all their old tax documents into one of the yellow bins we’ve placed outside each house in America.

“If we have any room left after that, we’ll fill it with the bankers and economists that caused it all in the first place,” added Gorewick, gesturing to

January 7, 2013

the giant television screens behind him, which lit up to show scenes of riot-gear clad police on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange forcibly throwing bankers, economists, and accountants into the back of swat vans.

But while the plan is being hailed as revolutionary by some, there is a very vocal

minority against it, notably those who will be shot into the coronasphere of the class-B star.

Economist Stephen Irving warns against the allure of short-term debt reduction arguing “Please, no! It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t do this! Please, you have to listen to me! I don’t deserve this! Get your hands off me! I said get your hand off — ARGH!” The Department of the Treasury had acknowledged that in all likelihood some innocent people will be incinerated, but maintains it is better to get them all than to leave any stragglers. As of press time, NASA scientists are excited to have new data on the effects of stellar plasma on Gregorio Armani Italian silk.

Ever wonder what happened to those celebrities who were all the rage in 2012, now you can barely muster the memory of their name let alone their face? Well, get ready for a blast from the very recent past and find out where they are — now!

The last member of the now extinct Pinta Island tortoise, Lonesome George spent the last three decades under the study of conservationists in an attempt to repopulate the species. George died in June at just over the age of 100. Although his species can live to ages of 170, it seems he took his own life rather than endure the slow (ever slower, because you know, he’s a tortoise), agonizing hell of 70 more years of tortoise blue balls.

After being launched in 2011, the Curiosity rover landed on Mars in August of 2012 and has since been collecting important data on the red planet. The current status of the Martian landscape: rocks. In December, Curiosity had its two-year mission extended indefinitely

by NASA, an extension that the robotic rover appears to resent,given how many of landscape photographs taken since prominently feature it flipping off the camera.

Taking office in January, the adorably pudgy fearless leader of the Democratic People ’s Republic of Korea has been in the captain’s chair for an entire year now. Although according to the Pyongyang Daily Times, the infallible leader has eliminated hunger, sickness and the South Korean menace, he is not without his faults, only obtaining a 110% approval rating dwarfed by his father, Jong-il’s 170%. People who mention this are executed immediately.

DIVERSIONS / ETC

January 7, 2013

23

24 LAST WORD

features editor email / phone

Ljudmila Petrovic features@the-peak.ca / 778.782.4560

So, the Mayans screwed up and duped us all; we’re still here. Fear not, however, because amid catching up on all the things you didn’t do because “the world’s ending anyways” or “but it’s Christmas . . . time,” there are still a lot of things to look forward to in the coming year. Instead of giving you a comprehensive list of things that happened last year, The Peak is here to give you a peak into the future (and may it be filled with many more puns).

Science 2013 is a big year for stargazers. The big one is the Comet Ison, which should appear by the end of the summer.

By the end of the year, it will be visible to the naked eye, and it is expected to stay visible for several months after.

In March, the Comet Pan-STARRS is projected to pass by Earth. It’s not going to be as bright as Comet Ison, but comets are great no matter what.

For what feels like way too many years, the Twilight series seems to have been spewing movie after movie after movie.

Well, now that both Team Jacob and Team Edward have retired, we can finally move on with our lives. Luckily, our itch for over-extended, big-budget series about mythical creatures will not be left unscratched: thanks to Peter Jackson’s ability to turn a 300-page book into a trilogy, we still have something to look forward to. The quality of the plot and premise cannot even be compared, so 2013 promises to be a vast improvement upon last year if only in this aspect.

Kate Middletown and Prince William are finally expecting a baby and it’s a big deal, because this will be the heir to the figurehead throne. Really, all we can hope for is that it will be a good-looking baby, and that it doesn’t inherit its father’s early pattern baldness. That being said, this child is being born in the midst of a debate about whether the gender of an heir should be taken into consideration, so it might be interesting for more than just the tabloids. Speaking of tabloids, Jennifer Aniston is also allegedly pregnant and happily in love with the father. If this idyllic situation is true, then this might be the downfall of the tabloid, not to mention that we’ll never see what Jen looks like as a cat lady. And let’s not forget Kanye and Kim Kardashian’s child — there’s not much to say, but we’re all curious to see what that happy little family will look like.

Love him or hate him, he still sells the papers. The Biebs was named the top Canadian newsmaker of the year. That’s right: he beat out our Prime Minister and Luka Magnotta, the infamous killer. Let’s keep our fingers crossed that this is just an awkward phase for Canada’s readership and 2013’s headlines see less of his crotch-grabbing antics.

Okay, so it’s not exactly the kind of thing that most people wait on the edge of their seat for, but the provincial election still has a huge impact on our everyday lives. On May 14th, Christy Clark and her opposition, headed by Adrian Dix, will address many of the issues that made local headlines in the past year, including the Enbridge pipeline, the hated HST, and poverty throughout the province.

As of Jan. 1, 2013,Translink has increased its fares. People around the Lower Mainland can’t stop bitching about it, but university students remain unaffected and can enjoy the luxury of our U-Passes. So, whenever you’re in front of your laptop eating Ramen noodles at 3 a.m. after a 10-hour paper-writing marathon, just think: at least you don’t have to pay more to take a bus. On that note, 2013 will also see a referendum for BC students to vote on whether they wish to continue with the U-Pass program, so keep your eyes open for that date.

The election was nerve rackingly close, which just means that there’s added pressure for Obama to prove himself in the face of faltering support. Not to mention that his inaugural speech the first time around was an epic one, so the bar is high for inspirational oration on his part.

Speaking of high bars, the European Union just won the 2012 Nobel Peace Prize, and they’ve named 2013 the “European Year of Citizens,” meaning that the focus will be on the rights that the EU’s citizen countries have. Europe had a rough year, so here’s hoping that the Union will embody the values of the Nobel Prize for a better 2013.

Blackberries are all but obsolete these days, but RIM’s still kicking around. In an attempt to catch up with the iPhone and Androids, they’re launching the Blackberry 10, the first of their models with an all-touchscreen. This is pretty much all they have, so we’ll see if this will have any effect on the face of technology.

January 7, 2013