Dear Peakie

Dear Peakie, Iworepinktomyconvocationasanhomageto Barbie,ElleWoods,and Mean Girls (yes,itwason aWednesday),andnooneunderstood!HowcanI recoverafterdiscoveringthatIamsurroundedby allunculturedfolks?ThisBarbieisreallyweigheddownby pinkofthis.Howdidtheynotnoticehow“fetch”myhot

Sincerely,heelswere?“What?Likeit’shard?”

Vision in Pink

Dear Peakie,

I actually don’t need advice. I just wanted to give you some: mind. your own. business. Why do you feel like you can tell us all what to do? You won’t even reveal your real name. Is it because deep down, you know that “you know nothing, Jon Snow?” Your relevancy in this paper has peaked, Peakie.

Sincerely,

Maybe We Should Give YOU Guidance

Dear Peakie,

I might have to break my lease because I can no longer live with my roommate. Last night, we were doing a puzzle together, and I found out they don’t do the border first. What next? Are they going to start eating their pizza crust-to-tip instead of tip-to-crust? I can’t live with someone like that. Is there anything in the Residential Tenancy Act that covers this?

Head-scratchingly,

Absolutely Puzzled