Divine Intervention

OP INIONS

F EAT UR E S

A RT S & C ULT UR E

The media shows its racial biases in Ukraine coverage

My experience being invisibly disabled

Check out Convo Mall's live performances

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FEATURES BC's overdose crisis and what we need to do next

ARTS & CULTURE Spring showings: five must-visit art galleries

SPORTS Can you figure out who this athlete is based on their accomplishments?

HUMOUR Come dine with sophistication

March 14, 2022

FUNDING FOR FUTURES

COMMUNITY CONNECTIONS

NEWS

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NEWS

LEGAL CONUNDRUM

News Editor Nancy La

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News Writers Karissa Ketter and Yelin Gemma Lee

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news@the-peak.ca

OPINIONS

March 14, 2022

The Bright-er Side

NOTICE OF STUDENT ELECTION – SPRING 2022 CALL FOR NOMINATIONS FOR STUDENT REPRESENTATIVES Students have an opportunity to become involved in the governance of SFU by submitting a nomination form for positions on Senate, Board of Governors, and Senate Graduate Studies Committee.

Committee Senate

Positions Seventeen students, elected by and from the student body, with at least one student elected from each faculty and at least three undergraduate and three graduate students.

Term of Office June 1, 2022 to May 31, 2023

Information Senate meets once a month and is responsible for the academic governance (all matters that bear on teaching and research) of the University. www.sfu.ca/senate

Board of Governors

One undergraduate student, elected by and from the undergraduate student body.

June 1, 2022 to May 31, 2023

The Board of Governors meets six times a year and is responsible for the business (property, revenue and policies) of the University. www.sfu.ca/bog/how-can-Iparticipate.html

June 1, 2022 to May 31, 2023

SGSC meets once a month and is responsible for making recommendations to Senate concerning graduate programs, courses, regulations and policies. www.sfu.ca/senate/senatecommittees/sgsc

One graduate student, elected by and from the graduate student body.

Senate Graduate Studies Committee (SGSC)

Four graduate students (2 regular, 2 alternate), elected by and from graduate students.

Nomination Deadline: Tuesday, March 15, 2022 @ 12:00 pm Campaign Period: March 15, 2022 to March 21, 2022 Online Voting: March 22, 2022 to March 24, 2022 Nomination Forms and Candidate Info: www.sfu.ca/students/elections/students Questions may be directed to the Electoral Officer, Senate & Academic Services at senate@sfu.ca.

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OPINIONS

Opinions Editor Jacob Mattie

WAR IS WAR

COUNTING DOWN

It’s estimated that nearly 200 million people depend on coral reefs to keep their homes, business, and lives free of the worst storm surges and waves. All that goes out the window if coral reefs die off.

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opinions@the-peak.ca

FEATURES

I can

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ARTS & CULTURE

Arts & Culture Editor Sara Wong

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arts@the-peak.ca

March 14, 2022

ARTS & CULTURE

CREATIVE VOICES

“Something to Believe In”

By Young the Giant

“Come Around”

By Peter McPoland

“Losing Touch”

By Laterdays

“Grade A” By spill tab

“At the End of the Day”

By Wallows

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SPORTS

UNSTOPPABLE

Sports Editor Isabella Urbani | Sports Writer Greg Makarov | sports@the-peak.ca

HUMOUR

March 14, 2022

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“Do you think it’ll bite me if I pet it?”

Going to school on a mountain means there’s a lot of wildlife around, and perhaps the most iconic animal that roams the halls of SFU Burnaby is the majestic raccoon.

Don’t get too close though — they may look like they want a hug, but try to pet one and your right hand will no longer exist as part of your body.

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“I think you’re missing the point.”

This phrase is most used with a slowly concerned hand raise in response to that guy in your poli-sci class volunteering to “play devil’s advocate.” The devil doesn’t need an advocate, Nathan. Leave it alone.

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“I’m never going to financially recover from this.”

Is this a Joe Exotic meme or an actual concern most of us have had? The answer: both. You went to BierCraft with your friends to celebrate #midtermszn being over but you forgot something important: your wallet. Or rather, you forgot that your wallet is empty and that the balance of your chequing account is struggling to catch up to the 13 venti Starbucks coffees you bought last week to keep yourself alive during #midtermszn.

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"Are classes cancelled today?"

Classes are never cancelled today. But that doesn’t seem to stop everyone and their mother from hopping on a Facebook group and asking this question after it snows.

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"It’s just a false alarm."

I was sitting in the AQ the first time I heard a fire alarm go off at SFU and the only thing running through my mind was, “Shouldn’t we evacuate?” No one around me seemed phased. I wasn’t even sure that anyone else had heard the alarm. So I stayed there, confused and slightly concerned. I soon came to realize that I, too, would become so desensitized to the ear-piercing sound of the fire alarm blaring that I don’t even blink when it happens anymore.

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“Does this schedule look manageable?”

No.

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“Fuck, I’m out of shape.”

Walking up the Saywell Hall stairs and having to hide the fact that you’re so painfully out of breath should be an Olympic sport on its own. Even worse? Having to walk from WMC to Saywell in the 10 minutes between your classes. As you reach the top, you’re breathing so heavily it sounds like you just inhaled three milkshakes, a pack of cigarettes, and ran a casual 50k.

“I should have gone to UBC.” Be honest — you’ve definitely said this before. Or at the very least, the thought has slipped into your consciousness while you were standing squished on the 145 rattling up the mountain on the coldest, rainiest Thursday morning in November there ever was to exist. I didn’t even apply to UBC and the thought still crosses my mind.

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“You know the avocado?

Yeah, I heard people have sex there.”

This is a phrase that every single SFU student has said (or heard) at least once. And to be honest, we’re starting to sound like a real avocado sex cult to new students.

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“No thoughts head empty”

You text this to your group chat after you stayed up until 3:00 a.m. studying for an 8:30 a.m. midterm and nothing feels real anymore. Coffee no longer has an effect and you can’t remember the last time you showered.

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HUMOUR

What lyrics resonate with you most?

When you think of style, what comes to mind?

What, in your opinion, is the perfect a!ernoon snack?

Let’s get personal, my little featherless doves.

Do you believe in life a!er love?

Sigh. Be honest, children, do you like Sylvia XVII’s quiz? Is it too proto-millenial?

Humour Editor Sara Brinkac

A. “My heart will go on” — “My Heart will Go On,” by Celine Dion. Classic human, so sentimental.

B. “I need my golden crown of sorrow, my bloody sword to swing / My empty halls to echo with grand self-mythology” — “King,” by Florence + the Machine. Oh, you and your hero moments.

C. “I place my legs in a cage of spandex” — “Tight Pants,” by Leslie Hall. You are so transcendent, darling. Unique!

A. “An old-fashioned roller rink, holographics, and a spicy little tweed sweater.” You smell stuffy, but interesting!

B. “Anime posters, mom jeans, and at least two studded belts.” Wow you love yourself a 90s trend don’t you?

C. “Style as a whole is too broad to be limited to one answer in a three-answer multiple choice.” A bit insulting, but I am a benevolent being.

A. “Tangerines cut neatly with no trace of their skin, paired with a light cheese and some pomegranate seeds.” You have class.

B. “An unacceptable amount of cheese puffs shared intermittently with the ephemeral raccoon sitting on your apartment steps.” You, too, have class.

C. “ . . .” Silence? Really? If I had nerves you’d be getting on them . . .

A. “I can feel something inside me say, I really don’t think you’re strong enough, no~!”

Beautiful.

B. “Honestly, I don’t know. Love can be difficult, and no one tells you that being vulnerable is so odd.” Oddly introspective.

C. “Blergh. Stranger danger.” How dare you, I have known you since the dawn of creation.

I will know you far a"e — don’t you dare start reading the next question!

A. “No, it’s genius!” Oh, dearie, I know.

B. “No, I feel like we’ve really gotten to know each other.” For all eternity!

C. [redacted.] Being difficult will not stop me from reading your essence in a five question quiz, villain.

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humour@the-peak.ca

HUMOUR

March 14, 2022

ARIES — Mar 21–Apr 19

LIBRA — Sept 23–Oct 22

You should go kick a tree this week. There have been whispers

You should shoulder check a big rock. No one sassily

in the wind lately and they have been awful. I don’t even want

shoulder checks anymore and Jupiter misses it. The planet

to repeat what they’ve been saying about you, but man, should

thinks it would be funny if you shoulder checked a big rock

you go kick a tree, hard.

because “I don’t know, it would just be funny, don’t ask me

why Carl.”

TAURUS — Apr 20 –May 20

SCORPIO — Oct 23–Nov 21

Venus thinks it would be funny if you pinched a tomato. Like, how

Hey, Scorpio, you should kiss a blade of grass. Really

funny would that be? If you just pinched a tomato? It would be so

show them they’re appreciated. You’re always stepping

random. It would be hilarious. Venus would love that.

on grass Scoripo, always, it’s high time you show those blades some love.

GEMINI — May 21–Jun 20

SAGITTARIUS — Nov 22–Dec 21

The stars want you to slap a seaweed silly. Not dried either. Take

Bite an apple this week. But not in a nice eating way, in like an

some initiative. Go rent SCUBA equipment head down to the sea

aggressive, “you suck, you friggin’ apple” kind of way. As Mercury is

floor, and really show that seaweed what’s what. The stars say it

currently in a turf war with apples, it has agreed to go into retrograde

will help with your . . . cosmic vibrations?

for fewer days depending on how hard you bite the apple.

CANCER — Jun 21–Jul 22

CAPRICORN — Dec 22–Jan 19

Backhand a flower. More specifically, a daisy. There are some

Go yank a bush tomorrow. You don’t have to tear out any

negative vibes moving through the daisy chain at the moment and

leaves or seriously harm it, but give the bush a good yank. It

it’s time you set them straight. Love me or love me not, I’m right.

knows what it did.

LEO — Jul 23–Aug 22

AQUARIUS — Jan 20 –Feb 18

Get in touch with your sign this week and give a lion a really hard

We strongly recommend punching a cloud today. You’ve always

poke. I mean just really wind that finger up and absolutely give

got your head down, working hard, and the clouds are getting

that lion the poke of its life. I can’t speak to the consequences of

catty about your bald spot. It’s time to hold that head up high

your actions and don’t know if I totally agree with the stars on this

and get your fist in the clouds.

one but, sleep on it maybe?

VIRGO — Aug 23–Sept 22

PISCES — Feb 19–Mar 20

Go drop kick a strawberry. The prices for strawberries are

Whack a perennial flower. They’ve been getting so cocky lately,

ridiculous right now and it’s your cosmic destiny to set the

going on and on about how they never die. The stars are pissed.

economy straight one mushy strawberry at a time. Bless you,

It’s time you choose the right side in this battle and use your

star child.

cosmic power to be mean to a flower.

COMIC BY SARA BRINKAC

COMIC BY SARA BRINKAC

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DIVERSIONS

Business Manager Yuri Zhou

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business@the-peak.ca

CROSSWORD

SUDOKU

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Apr 3

We’re publishing newspapers in the summer, and we need people to help put them together! Get paid to work for the newspaper in a fun, flexible work environmenmt

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April 3, 2022

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