HUMOUR

ARIES — Mar 21–Apr 19

Look into the sky tonight when the whole town has their lights off and the ambience is cold, silent, and peaceful. Count how many stars you see with your vision, then make a wish for each one. Why do this? Because every one of those wishes will come true next year.

TAURUS — Apr 20–May 20

Think back on all the nights of 2022 so far. Do you think your average hours of sleep per night was above or below seven hours? Whatever it may be, try to get a slightly higher average next year. Or maybe you’ll hibernate this December and make your daily sleep average shoot up into the sky to make it unbeatable next year . . .

GEMINI — May 21–Jun 20

For you, Gemini, 2023 is going to be a year for clearing off everything on your to-do list. Want to take that vacation to LA? Still trying to convince yourself to learn how to play guitar? Go for it!

CANCER — Jun 21–Jul 22

Cancer, you are invited to participate in the writing challenge! Get a notebook, decorate it any way you’d like, and write a quick little something every day about anything that’s on your mind. It’ll be cool to read later, so you won’t regret it!

LEO — Jul 23–Aug 22

You’re gonna open up a little more next year and find some opportunities to participate in, whether it’s joining a club or getting involved in the community. As a result, you’ll make lots of new friends!

Are you really ready to step into a brand new year soon? Or do you want to stay in this year forever? If you want to stop time and be stuck in 2022, I wish you the best of luck in finding Peter Pan so he can take you to Neverland.

VIRGO — Aug 23–Sept 22

You may have had a good year, a bad year, or something in between. Whatever it was, just know that 2023 is going to be better. Maybe you’ll win the lottery, get straight A’s, book a vacation, or adopt a pet. Something great will happen next year and it’s something to be excited for!

LIBRA — Sept 23–Oct 22

Black Friday just passed and you went shopping, feeling certain that you checked every single thing off your December shopping list. But wait . . . Oh no, you forgot to buy the chocolate countdown calendar! Sorry to break it to you, but now you’ll have to buy it at full price :’(

SCORPIO — Oct 23–Nov 21

No matter how many L’s you took this year, we’re gonna leave that in 2022 and only take our W’s to 2023 so we can continue to water, nourish, and grow them into BIG W’s. 2023 is gonna be your year, I know it ;)

SAGITTARIUS — Nov 22–Dec 21

What a wild year it’s been! You’ve worked so hard this year and you should treat yourself this New Year’s. Some ideas could be buying a new laptop, new clothes, or getting a new hairstyle done. After all, it’s “new year, new me!”

CAPRICORN — Dec 22–Jan 19

How many days of 2022 did you spend thinking too much about the past or future? For the next year, I challenge you to live in the moment and focus mainly on the present; it’s something we often take for granted. Have fun!

AQUARIUS — Jan 20–Feb 18

PISCES — Feb 19–Mar 20

Pisces, you need to save more memories. I’m serious! Start taking more pictures and videos of your daily life so you can live the moments again later. Go and make 2023 unforgettable :)

LOCATION #2: Stairs from West Mall down to the Lower Bus Loop DEMO: Garbage Bag Toboggans

We will be smoothing out snow that collects on the stairs so that instead of walking down icy steps, students can pretend they’re skiing down the side of a mountain. Snow will be transferred to the stairs from other areas of campus so that we can fill in any gaps and create a full ski mountain experience. Parking lots won’t be cleared for this though — they’ll actually be the last areas of campus to be cleared of snow because who cares. Plastic garbage bags (climate change who?) will be kept at the top of the stairs for students to sit on and slide down. We’re all about bringing more fun to campus! No broken legs or twisted ankles over here!

LOCATION #3: Convocation Mall DEMO: Penguin Walking 101

The best and most effective method of avoiding injury when walking on snow and ice is actually learning how to walk like a penguin! We thought it’d be super fun and cool to demonstrate how to walk like a penguin instead of doing the work to remove the snow and salt walkways ourselves because this is obviously how resources are best used. Join us on Wednesday at 11:41 a.m. for a FREE and LIVE demo from SFU’s very own Joy Johnson showing you how to walk like a penguin on snow and ice! You’ll all look really funny doing it, which is great for our social media. Join JJ in your best SFU merch or dressed like a penguin for the demo of the year!

SUDOKU

is hiring

We’re publishing newspapers in the spring, and we need people to help put them together! Get paid to work for the newspaper in a fun, flexible work environment!

Individuals identifying as BIPOC, LGBTQ2IA+, GNC, neurodiverse, and/or from any additional marginalized community are strongly encouraged to apply