HUMOUR

ARIES — Mar 21–Apr 19

Have you remembered to pack an umbrella in your backpack yet, Aries? Don’t forget you live in a temperate rainforest; the weather can change with a drop of a hat. Plus, we all know that you forgot to check the forecast before leaving the house today. There is no better time for reinvention than the dawn of a new semester, my darling Libra! Why not get a new haircut? Why not put on a fake accent in your classes? That way, you can easily slip into witness protection when you need your next assignment extension.

LIBRA — Sept 23–Oct 22

TAURUS — Apr 20–May 20

The Stars are warning you to stay clear of the top floor of the Bennett library this semester. There is a monster that lurks deep in the reference section that preys on naïve Tauruses much like yourself. Don’t say I didn’t caution you!

SCORPIO — Oct 23–Nov 21

Dress to impress on your first day of classes! That way, when you inevitably run out of inspiration, hopefully, your fellow scholars will simply remember how sharp you looked back in September. I reckon they’ll even forget the Supernatural shirt you wore during finals week.

GEMINI — May 21–Jun 20

Stuff as many pens in your bag as you can this semester, Gemini. You never know when that one hot person in your lecture might need to borrow one. This could be the start of a beautiful new romance, my beautiful Gemini! Actually, while you’re at it, make sure that you pack plenty of gum as well. Can’t be too careful!

CANCER — Jun 21–Jul 22

This semester, The Stars challenge you to reduce your coffee intake. No, seriously. Five cups in one day is really pushing it. The Stars are seriously concerned about you. Oh dear, it looks as though you’ve vibrated into an entirely different dimension —better luck next semester I suppose.

LEO — Jul 23–Aug 22

With the final days of summer soon upon us, The Stars have told me to remind you that it’s important to appreciate the warmth and sun while you can. Pretty soon, much like your mental state, darkness will creep upon the land. Might as well work on your tan in the meantime. Don’t forget to reward yourself after your accomplishments, Aquarius. It can be easy to get wrapped up in the next goal, but The Stars have told me that you’ll be less hard on yourself if you take the time to appreciate each feat. For example, the next time you do well on a test, why not get nipple piercings at Claire’s? What could possibly go wrong with that? (Note: they don’t actually pierce your nipples. Trust me, I’ve tried.)

VIRGO — Aug 23–Sept 22

Did you remember to buy all of your required textbooks? No seriously, did you remember to buy all of your required textbooks? Did you remember to buy all of your required textbooks???!!! Better check again before the bookstore is overrun with first years. Happy Virgo season!

SAGITTARIUS — Nov 22–Dec 21

Sagittarius! This is your reminder to craft yourself a perfect playlist for the fall season. Romanticize the absolute hell out of your otherwise dull and boring university experience. Real talk, sometimes it’s the little things that help you get through gruelling academia.

CAPRICORN — Dec 22–Jan 19

Don’t forget to review your essay formats before you write your next paper, Capricorn. Nothing is more frustrating than trying to remember how to cite in APA after you’ve been conditioned to Chicago your entire academic career. Especially when you’re going to inevitably be trying to wrap up all your citations at 4:00 a.m. the day before your essay is due.

AQUARIUS — Jan 20–Feb 18

PISCES — Feb 19–Mar 20

This semester, the stars have advised you to pick up a new hobby to keep your spirits up. Fall term always feels pretty hard, but the right hobby can totally brighten your weeks up in between endless assignments! For example, my favourite thing to do in my spare time is your mom!

SUDOKU

PEAK MEMBERSHIP PEAK MEMBERSHIP

As an SFU student, you subscribe to the Peak Publications Soci-As an SFU student, you subscribe to the Peak Publications Socih ety. With your subscription, paid through a small levy included r dedulcniyvelllamsahgutdiap,noitpircsbusruoyhtiW.yt in your tuition, you get access to a weekly copy of The Peak filled with news and views of interest to you. Additional privileges of being an SFU student include the ability register your membership with the Society, to place free classified ads, to be paid for work submitted and published in The Peak, and to apply for a job on The Peak’s staff. Your contribution also helps provide jobs and experience for other SFU students, maintain an archive of SFU history through the eyes of students, maintain The Peak’s website, and support student journalism across Canada. Students who have paid their tuition fees and do not wish to support their student newspaper may request a subscription fee refund from the Business Manger, but MUST provide a copy of their REGISTRATION SUMMARY, RECEIPT, and STUDENT ID between Tuesday, September 6 and Monday, September 19 at 4:00 p.m. . No refunds will be issued outside of this time frame. Students claiming refunds will lose their subscription for the semester, but subscription will resume upon payment of student fees next semester. Questions? Email business@the-peak.ca

e o in your tuition, you get access to a weekly copy of The Peak filled with news and views of interest to you. Additional privileges of being an SFU student include the ability register your membership with the Society, to be paid for work published in The Peak, to apply for a job on and The Peak’s staff.

Your contribution also helps provide jobs and experience for oth er SFU students, maintain an archive of SFU history through the eyes of students, maintain The dent journalism across Canada. Peak’s website, and support stu -

Students who have paid their tuition fees and do not wish to support their student newspaper may request a subscription fee refund from the Business Manager, but MUST provide a copy of their REGISTRATION SUMMARY, RECEIPT, and STUDENT ID between Tuesday, September 6 and Monday, September 19 at 4:00 p.m. No refunds will be issued outside of this time frame. Students claiming refunds will lose their subscription for the semester, but subscription will resume upon payment of student fees next semester.