925B Peachtree St. NE, Suite 168
Atlanta, GA 30309 404.439.9838
William Duffee-Braun william@peachatl.com
Mike Fleming mike@peachatl.com
ART
Tanner Gill
Art Director tanner@peachatl.com
SALES
Russ Youngblood
Senior Sales Representative russ@peachatl.com
Jim Brams jim@peachatl.com
Steve Tyrrell steve@peachatl.com
CONTRIBUTORS
Buck C. Cooke
James Hicks
Matthew Holley
Scott King
James Parker Sheffield
Chris Vizzini
DISTRIBUTION
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Rivendell Media 908.232.2021
By Mike Fleming Peach ATL Co-Publisher
I LIVE INSIDE MY OWN HEAD MUCH OF the time, and it can get kind of harried in there.
People around me might beg to differ, since I paradoxically tend to process things outwardly. But my thoughts,
Social media, curated lives, and casting my own reality TV show
beliefs, emotions and opinions all spin around at a rapid pace, and only fractional offshoots make it out of my mouth.
This is why I write. It allows me to edit the cacophony before it’s released onto the world. It’s also why I kind of love —
OK am obsessed with, totally hate — Facebook. It’s the me I want people to see, edited for clarity and content.
And in some cases, it’s the You I can’t believe you’re showing as if the internet isn’t forever. But you do you, Boo.
The choices people make in presenting themselves are telling, and often informative beyond what they intend. I actually like some of them more with a glimpse into their thought processes. And yes, I judge people who share every neurosis, or say, devote their page to the Donald Trump apology tour.
It’s interesting to me which items I post that people clamor to comment on, and those that generate no reaction at all.
THERE’S CERTAINLY AN ASPECT OF prurient interest in Facebook that I can only relate to reality TV, with a cast of people from my own life. They play themselves, but usually they script and edit it.
It’s a very interesting show, whether it’s a train wreck I can’t stop watching, or a two-Kleenex drama.
And there’s also the Facebook Crush phenomenon, that character or characters on the show who could get it any day, any time.
Everyone I know has one. It’s the friend of a friend who you barely know who is just so hot, so funny, so smart in his representation of himself, that you just can’t help stalking him. A little. My most
recent one melted once I talked to him face to face, so there’s always that risk.
SO. YOU GET A MESSAGE OR FRIEND request and click it with the anticipation you might feel when seeing which bachelor is behind the door on “The Bachelorette.”
Is it someone from the past you loved and have lost touch with? Yes! Is it a new friend who you’d like to get to know more? Score!
Or — OHHH! — It’s that cross-eyed bitch from high school who was never nice to you. Or it’s that smart-ass bully from back then. Or it’s that freaky guy who follows you around the bar. Or worst, it’s someone who totally remembers you, and you have no idea who they are.
And what are these characters up to? A cute blogger is being witty even before his first cup of morning coffee. Your best friend is waiting on muffins in the oven. Your high school sweetheart is playing with her son’s imaginary friends right now. A woman at work hit on the wrong girl last night.
“YOU NEED TO GET A LIFE,” MY BROTHER says. He’s right. We don’t need to add to the reality show vibe right now, and there’s reality, not reality show, to be had.
We get enough alternate reality with the president making our government a daily show full of zingers, twists, shockers and bombshells.
But Facebook can affect real life in productive ways, as well though. Huge turnouts at gay Atlanta rallies can be turned around in less than 24 hours thanks to the power of Facebook. On a personal level, I really do stay in better touch with people I don’t see as often as I’d like, especially out-of-towners. And I’ve had more courage to approach people in person who I gleaned insight on from Facebook. It’s a great conversation starter.
A friend was having a bad week, and because I saw it on Facebook, I was able to offer an ear when I otherwise would have been oblivious to his circumstance. And it’s fun to watch some people prove every day that they are capable of complete meltdowns in public forums, providing due warning for future encounters.
I have made some connections with people that actually started on Facebook. So the love-hate continues, and ultimately, I like my computer. All my friends live in there.
By Scott King
SPORTS ARE SATANIC. THEY TEACH US FROM AN EARLY age that there has to be a winner and a loser in life, pretty much every time we get together to have fun. They teach us that half the world is against us and that saturated fats are the thing to eat even though the bathroom has no toilet paper.
To each they own. That’s what the Bible say. Or did I read that in The Enquirer?
Speaking of which, Madonna is also satanic. A little bit. She has sex with lots of beautiful men and has been married twice and doesn’t apologize for being successful or sexually provocative or pretentious or interesting or, you know, Madonna. She once wore a black dress and a pentagram ring that she claimed was “satanic” on The Arsenio Hall Show. Then her friggin’ dad showed up. Paging Dr. Freud.
SPEAKING OF DISTURBING CHILDHOOD MEMORIES, one of my most vivid and beautiful was when I was perusing the Sports Illustrated that was lying around in my mother’s office like it wasn’t about to change my life. My mother is a retired college professor and coach, and my sister is a very successful athlete.
I love them both for who they are, and I support their rights, and it was a privilege to be raised by them. But back to me. And Sports Illustrated.
This is before the Body Issue, so there wasn’t any porn involved, at least none that I could find, but there was on page whatever-whatever a little blurb about a yet-to-be-named film about an ephemeral professional women’s pro baseball league.
I know, right?
The artilce was titled “Justify My Glove -Madonna Madonna blah blah blah something that’s not Madonna. Madonna.” I must say, not that bad of a title, Sports Illustrated in 1991. It even contained a little bobblehead doodle of an illustration, of a bustier sportin’, cleats trampin’, smirk workin’ Madonna Ciccone.
“Like a Prayer” was number one for like a month, meaning they played it constantly on 101.5 WQUT in Johnson City, Tennessee.
Yes girl this was the album version, not the version you prefer from The Immaculate Collection cuz it starts with “...God?” I’m way deeper than God, but that’s for another column on another rainy day.
SPEAKING OF THE BIG G MAN, IT’S MOSTLY FADED AWAY but it was pretty ubiquitous for about eight years of her career, this fake controversy over Madonna courting controversy to sell records and, you know, highbrow porn.
“Like a Prayer” was a protest song. “Vogue” was a protest song.
“Vogue” protested reality of the Bush presidency and Jerry Falwell rising to power and all of her friends dying of fucking AIDS. “Like a Prayer” protested the notion that a simple Midwest girl couldn’t happily fellate black Jesus and also sing with the choir.
Right on, Veronica Electronica.
GIRLFRIEND DID MANY THINGS, BUT I THINK THE MOST genius was claiming her sexuality and her artistry and her spiritualness.
I would argue that her decadence from the mid-‘80s to early ‘90s was a form of Dionysian spiritualism, which kind of became a yawn when it became Kabbalah, I mean as far as interviews go but her records have gotten even better. I mean not better than like a prayer, but you know pretty good.
And if you haven’t listened to Erotica straight through lately, do yourself a favor today and listen, with headphones. Most of the songs are about love, and yes, her friends dying of AIDS. Colonel Angus only rears his beautiful head once.
So there you go. When you’re dancing today or tomorrow or Friday or Saturday or Sunday, enjoy your holiday and don’t worry about what you might possibly say to straight people when they ask you what Madonna means to the queer community and why she’s so special. They will never understand because no matter how progressive they are, I really don’t think that they will ever understand how beautiful it is to imagine the beauty of fellating Black Jesus.
Just tell them that if they have to ask, they’ll never know. They’ll be sucking dick in no time.
Only when I’m dancing can I feel this free.
When we saw Wade Smith at Joining Hearts last month, we couldn’t help but snap some impromptu shots. When we saw the results, we couldn’t help but make him our cover model and Peach of the Week. The New Orleans native works in a plastic surgery practice and loves hitting Atlanta for special events.
PEACH ATL’S 2017 SEX SURVEY GOT DOWN AND DIRTY WITH OUR READERS, AND THE RESULTS ARE IN. HERE’S WHAT GAY GUYS HAD TO SAY ABOUT DOING IT IN THE ATL.
More than two-thirds of you are versatile. Verse Tops are equally matched by Verse Bottoms (31% each), with 10% totally versatile.
The average penis size may be 5.1 inches, but in Atlanta, you boys self-reported a 7-inch average. Key word: Self-reported. No rulers were used in this analysis.
These two locations tied for most common place to have sex outside the bedroom, with 37% each. Outdoor parks and woods came in third with 26%
More than half of you lost your “gay” virginity by age 17. Another third did at least one guy by age 21.
12.8% BOTTOM
Atlanta’s famous “total bottoms”? Not as big a percentage as legend would have it, and the same number of men are “total tops.”
Atlanta is all about its group sex. Who knew?
84.7% have sex with more than one partner at the same time. Of those, more than 60% do so regularly, though 23% keep it to three-ways.
Three out of four guys have cheated or helped someone cheat on a relationship. Of those, 36% regret it, 26% would do it again under the same circumstances, and 10% cheat regularly.
More than three-quarters of our survey say they use sex toys, with 41% reporting multiple options in their nightstand. 5% of you DIY it and make your own.
Underwear was the top fetish with 37%, Sports Gear came in second with 26%, and Rubber or Leather got 21%. Armpits, Feet and Other Fetishes bring up the rear.
45% of guys prefer condoms. 9% said PrEP, and 12% said non-insertive sex. 27% say they use some combination of the above methods. Zero men selfreported Barebacking or “Party n Play” as options in their repertoire, though 7% said “Other.”
Some 58% of the survey have had sex with a woman at least once in your lives. 38% wouldn’t know a va-jayjay if it bit them, and 4% may have done a girl but aren’t sure (?!).
Exactly half of respondents say that they have never paid or been paid for sex. 16% say once, another 16% say sometimes, and yet another 16% say we all pay for it one way or another. Only one guy says, “All the time.”
More than one-third of guys masturbate once a day. Slightly fewer than that reach down more than once a day. The rest equally divided between once a week, a few times a week, and once a month.
Featured performers:
Amanda Michaels
Trixie Van Lear
Charlene Boufontaine
Stella D'Oro
Sue Nami
Taylor Van Pelt
Monica Van Pelt
Gunza Blazin
LaTonya O'Hara
Calico Deville,
Holly Walden
Berlinda Wall
Paige Turner
Good grub, great drinks, and an amazing cause come together for another fun, fundraising night in gay Atlanta
By Mike Fleming
What do you get when you combine the Living Room’s beloved efforts to end homelessness in the HIV community with a night on the town? It’s the annual Taste of Life, and you won’t want to miss it.
This year’s host committee has come out strong with their passions on their sleeve to make the event special. With an amazing silent auction and dancing on tap, an open bar, and nibbles galore, they feel sure you’ll have fun. But more importantly, they are positive you’ll be glad you did well beyond the night itself.
“I believe that a stable home environment creates the space for people living with HIV/AIDS to fully realize their potential,” Chuck DeLozier, a host committee member, says of the Living Room mission.
What more do you need to know than that, right? Well, there are a few details, and we have them for you right here.
Besides you of course, Living Room staff, board and patrons are ready to let their hair down to show you a good time.
Since 1995, Living Room has helped more than 21,000 individuals secure and maintain safe, affordable housing-the most critical factor in the ability to live a healthy, productive life. They are Georgia’s leading provider of housing and housing assistance for people living with HIV/AIDS.
Taste of Life is an open bar party with tastings of local craft beers, wines from around the world, handmade cocktails sponsored by Tito’s Handmade Vodka, and delicious bites from Art of Food. You won’t want to miss the stellar beats from DJ King Atlas or spectacular silent auction with incredible art and local experiences.
For those who love a delicious brew, your ticket gives you full access to Atlanta’s own Second Self Beer Company craft beers. Sip. Sample. Enjoy. Just don’t miss out.
What else? Wait! There’s more.
“We can’t wait for you to see the amazing silent auction selection lined up,” the hosts say. “International trips, local dining and entertainment experiences like Atlanta’s next Cirque du Soleil show, massages, original art pieces, and so much more.”
That’s easy. This Saturday, August 19. VIP Cocktail hour begins at 6 p.m., and general admission gets rolling at 7 p.m. Tickets are available on Eventbrite. You can also visit livingroomatl.org.
Hosts of the Living Room event say that 2017 marks an even bigger, brighter, and cooler-than-ever party. A big part of that is the venue, Westside Cultural Arts Center, 760 10th Street NW. Beautiful art in repurposed industrial spaces call you to bring out your inner hipster.
Speaking of hipsters, be sure to tag your arrival and experience with the official hashtag, #TasteOfLife17.
In case you have your head in the sand about this one, let’s be blunt: Atlanta is fifth highest in HIV diagnoses of all metropolitan areas in the nation, and, without housing, staying healthy is impossible, especially for people living with HIV/AIDS. Be part of the solution by ensuring that no person living with HIV/AIDS faces homelessness alone.
As Her Madge-esty turns 59 and gay Atlanta sets to celebrate, we take a loving look at the legend who won our hearts three decades ago and just won’t let go.
By Mike Fleming
True gay icons are hard to come by. Among a precious few equals and a ton of pretenders, Madonna still stands out. As the oneand-only celebrates another rotation around the sun on Aug. 16, we give you the 10 lessons from her that we couldn’t live without.
1/Reinvent Yourself
With a world ready – even if they didn’t know it – for shaking up, Madonna brought the heat in 1983 with her eponymous debut. Music moguls, radio stations and middle America didn’t know what to do with her, and the MTV Generation loved that.
No one had seen anything like her, but what really makes Madonna Madonna is how she took that reaction, time and again, and successfully changed things up just as we got used to what she was doing.
2/Never,
From the moment she told Dick Clark that her life goal was to rule the world, to the time she told 20/20 to look up “reductive” in the dictionary, Madonna has served us a heaping helping of brash intelligence, focused intent, marketing genius, and a middle finger to tradition and “acceptable” female behavior.
3/Act
Madonna moved from Detroit to New York in 1977 with $35 in her pocket, a dream, and no place to sleep. She still calls it the “bravest thing I’ve ever done.” One of the richest women in entertainment taught us about paying dues and working hard through
scores of menial jobs like Dunkin Donuts. She even posed nude to pay the bills.
Long before her book of the same name, Sex was a noun that no article about Madonna ever went without. Trendsetting clothes like underwear as outerwear, performances from flirty to aggressive to brazen, video themes from peep shows to S&M, and songs from Like a Virgin to Justify My Love and beyond, she redefined sex symbol in ways few can even approach and even fewer have matched.
Besides doing you, Madonna wants you to do the boys you like – all of them. Answering only to herself, Madonna has had men from boy toys to husbands, from relationships to flings, and from famous to just plain hot. She’s done them all and cast them aside when she was done.
Which Madonna is your favorite? More than one? Thought so. The blonde coquette of the 80s became a bobbed brunette, a Marilyn-esque Glamour Goddess, Geisha, 70s Disco Queen, Retro Princess, and So. Many. More. Whatever you’re wearing, have fun, look fierce, and work it like a boss.
Not content to live as just another pop star churning out content, Madonna broadened her horizons with forays into Kabbalah, Broadway musicals, children’s charities, line-dancing, British history, and movie-making, to name just a few.
From her early days wearing crucifixes and rosaries as jewelry, rolling around MTV’s live stage in a wedding dress singing “Like A Virgin,” and playing a pregnant teen in her “Papa Don’t Preach” video, Madonna knew that a little, maybe even a lot, of controversy goes a long way. Just last year, she superimposed a swastika over the image of a far-right French leader during a concert in Paris.
Rather than shy away from scandal, she embraces it, rubs our faces in it, and justifies every move as her right to artistic expression, freedom of speech, and independent thinking. She may not have invented the phrase “There’s no such thing as bad publicity,” but she turned it into an art form.
As her sold-out tours in the world’s biggest venues attest, there’s noth ing quite like a Madonna concert. Among thousands of rabid gay fans, we’ve enjoyed dance numbers that trek every cor of the stage, as well as intimate spotlights a girl and her guitar. Madonna knows how crowd.
The other lesson that gay from her performances? Always leave just a little bit more.
10/Have
If you aren’t working so hard to have example, Madonna it time and again.
Aug 17 - Aug 23
ABBA: The Concert
Come on, dancing queen! This is as close as you’ll get to the Swedish disco darlings who made winged hair and satin bellbottom jumpsuits happen, not to mention the score to Mamma Mia! Get down to the sounds with the best ABBA tribute band in the world.
FRIDAY, AUG. 18
COBB ENERGY CENTRE
2800 Cobb Galleria Parkway | cobbenergycentre.com
Top or bottom, clothed or going to town in his never-nevers, one gay porn star is guaranteed to get a rise out of fans. Now you, too, can get an in-per gander at this sexy beast as he girates for your entertainment in Atlanta for one night only.
WEDNESDAY, AUG. 23
BLAKE’S ON THE PARK
227 10th St. NE | blakesonthepark.com
Did someone say open bar? Did they also say help house people living with HIV? Yes! Come taste local craft beers, wines from around the world, handmade cocktails, and delicious bites. The Living Room hosts, a silent auction boasts, and DJ King Atlas roasts.
SATURDAY, AUG. 19
WESTSIDE CULTURAL ARTS CENTER
760 10th Street NW | livingroomatl.org
The LGBT swimmers, divers and players of Rainbow Trout take to the net for this clinic to train would-be recruits in the art and sport of water polo. Come see what these local gay aquatic teams have to offer and get to know the speedo-clad players.
SUNDAY, AUG. 20
GEORGIA TECH RECREATION CENTER 750 Ferst Drive NW | atlantarainbowtrout.com
The soccer team that’s so-right-now in Atlanta takes on the similarly named DC United in an away game on TV, and the gay All Stripes fans want you to watch with them. Come for the friends, stay for a solid hour and a half of legs, balls, head-butting and #goals.
WEDNESDAY, AUG. 23
JOE’S ON JUNIPER 1049 Juniper St. NE | facebook.com/groups/allstripesatl
MIDTOWN
AMSTERDAM
amsterdamatlanta.com
502 Amsterdam Ave. NE
ATLANTA EAGLE atlantaeagle.com
306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
BLAKE’S ON THE PARK blakesontheparkatlanta.com
227 10th St NE
BULLDOGS
893 Peachtree St NE
FRIENDS NEIGHBORHOOD BAR friendsonponce-atl.com
736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
MODEL T
modeltatlanta.com
699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
MY SISTER’S ROOM
mysistersroom.com
66 12th St NE
TEN ATLANTA
tenatlanta.com
990 Piedmont Ave NE
CHESHIRE
HERETIC
hereticatlanta.com
2069 Cheshire Bridge Road
JUNGLE
jungleatl.com
2115 Faulkner Road
BJ ROOSTERS
bjroosters.com
2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
OPUS 1
1086 Alco St NE
TRIPPS
1931 Piedmont Circle N
WOOFS
woofsatlanta.com
2425 Piedmont Road NE
ANSLEY
BURKHART’S
burkharts.com
1492 Piedmont Ave NE
FELIX’S
1510 Piedmont Ave NE
THE HIDEAWAY
1544 Piedmont Ave NE
A snapshot of Gay Atlanta’s favorite destinations. View their ads in Peach ATL & visit their websites for weekly event listings.
mixxatlanta.com
1492 Piedmont Ave NE
OSCAR’S
oscarsatlanta.com
1510 Piedmont Ave NE
THE COCKPIT
thecockpit-atlanta.blogspot.com
465 Boulevard SE
MARY’S
marysatlanta.com
1287 Glenwood Ave SE
SISTER LOUISA’S CHURCH
sisterlouisaschurch.com
466 Edgewood Ave SE
SWINGING RICHARDS
swingingrichards.com
1400 Northside Dr NW
10TH & PIEDMONT
communitashospitality.com
991 Piedmont Ave NE
EINSTEIN’S
einsteinsatlanta.com
1077 Juniper St NE
FROGS CANTINA
frogsmidtown.com 931 Monroe Dr
G’S communitashospitality.com
219 10th St NE
HENRY’S henrysatl.com
132 10th St NE
JOE’S ON JUNIPER joesonjuniper.com
1049 Juniper St NE
LA HACIENDA
lahaciendamidtown.com
900 Monroe Dr NE
LAS MARGARITAS
lasmargaritasmidtown.com
1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE
ROXX
1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE
ANSLEY
COWTIPPERS
cowtippersatlanta.com 1600 Piedmont Ave NE
DEKALB
LIPS ATLANTA atldragshow.com 3011 Buford Hwy NE Retail
BARKING LEATHER AFTER DARK barkingleather.com
306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
CHESHIRE
BARKING LEATHER barkingleather.com 805 Lambert Dr NE
SOUTHERN NIGHTS VIDEO 2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE
ANSLEY
BOY NEXT DOOR MENSWEAR boynextdoormenswear.com 1447 Piedmont Ave NE
GCB & PLEASURES brushstrokesatlanta.com 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE
Fitness
URBAN BODY FITNESS urbanbodyfitness.com 500 Amsterdam Ave NE
CHESHIRE
GRAVITEE FITNESS graviteeatl.com 2201 Faulkner Rd NE
FLEX SPA flexspas.com 76 4th St NW
CHESHIRE
MANIFEST 4U manifest4u.org 2103 Faulkner Rd NE
THE DEN thedenatlanta.com 2135 Liddell Drive NE
Sunday, September 3rd
Starts @ 1pm
I lived in fear too long. Now I’m gonna live in whoopass. Ride my wake!
Being gay isn’t a choice, but acting like an entitled little bitch totally is.
I’m a pretty, sexy, fabulous unicorn shining in a world of jackasses. Taste the rainbow!
The comeback is always brighter and stronger than the setback, so watch me eclipse that shit like a supernova.
Gay men would do better if we didn’t tell each other to get over, and instead helped each other get through it.
I’ve got 99 problems, and 86 of them are completely made up in my head that I’m stressing about for no logical reason.
Sorry, boys, but I already got my eye on a guy who’s not interested.
ARIES (Mar. 21 - Apr. 19)
You generally prefer a more direct approach, but subtlety and intuition are working for you now. A stronger air of authority is also working for you. Learn how to work it now if you want to keep it.
TAURUS (Apr. 20 - May 20)
Life rarely goes as planned, so don’t beat yourself up for it. In these tough times give yourself full credit for what you have done. Friendly suggestions are more aggravation than help, but could be springboards to sensible ideas.
GEMINI (May 21 - Jun. 20)
Trading barbs with your friends is all good fun until someone gets hurt. It’s way too easy to cross that line. Apologize quickly. Wounded pride can harden quickly into alienation. With some focus you can put your wit to better use.
CANCER (Jun. 21 - Jul. 22)
This full moon is especially werewolvish. Indulge your inner beast, but remember, there is a time and a place for that. While humanoid, keep your ambitions in check. Focus your critical mind on your goals and keep your critical tongue in check.
LEO (Jul. 23 - Aug. 22)
Efforts to help others will probably backfire big time. Focus on your own problems. Get expert advice. You won’t like it, but at least consider it carefully. Exercise and clearing away small tasks will help relieve tension.
VIRGO (Aug. 23 - Sep. 22)
When your ruler Mercury comes home to your sign on the 31st, you will be witty, wise and compassionate. Until then, keep your ego and your mouth under control. Especially be considerate of your partner. Remember what’s important – and who!
LIBRA (Sep. 23 - Oct. 22)
Worrying won’t get you anywhere. Take a very practical look at your problems and flaws and determine practical steps to improvement. Gentle exercise (swimming?) will help you stay positive and productive. Pushing too hard, at the gym or elsewhere, is asking for trouble.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)
Your mind is getting unusually sharp; try to keep your tongue from following suit. Save your critical remarks for those who ask to benefit from your insight, which is still and always best focused on yourself.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)
Feeling lost and disconnected? Hiding in books and ideas could be a good strategy. Whining is not. It’s too easy to feel sorry for yourself. Be mature and philosophical. This will pass.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)
Your instinct to take charge and protect can be simultaneously charming and annoying to your partner, or whomever you want in that role. It’s obvious that you care, but your sweetie is a grown-up too and needs a little room to breathe.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
Advice from your partner may sound a bit harsh, but it’s worth heeding. Resist the urge to reciprocate; just resolve to improve. Review your diet and health regimen. Vanity could be interfering with your health. Or is it your sweet tooth?
(Feb. 19 - Mar. 20)
Keep your codependent tendencies in check. A creative outlet can help. Remember that it’s therapeutic, probably not to be shared with others. Still your artistic efforts can also be exercises in technique leading to greater proficiency.
I agreed to support my boyfriend temporarily, but now it’s been a long time, and I want him pulling his weight.
When he went back to school, I happily took on extra hours. He finished, but he’s been dicking around over a year while finishing his dissertation. Finances are deteriorating rapidly.
He says he’s looking for a job, but throws a fit if I bring it up. He threatens to move out, and I’m afraid of losing my investment in him and us. I used to be proud of him, but now I hold it against him.
Doesn’t Only Owe Repayment, Makes A Threat
It’s exhausting to be used. You’ve both gotten used to the arrangement, and while you feel the short end of the stick, he’s quite comfortable with the long end.
But make no mistake: You do have an arrangement. Until a new agreement is hashed out, you bear equal responsibility for keeping it the way it is – or changing it.
What are you really afraid of here? Your relationship? He’s not going anywhere on that salary. The sound of raising your voice? Let him have it if talking calmly isn’t working.
He’s going to do what you let him. Make some declarations, even ultimatums. You’ll both be liberated and can discuss moving forward, or you’ll see his true colors and can make moves from there.
The guy I’m dating is all about giving up the booty. Like, all the time. He’s butt up or heels in the air the moment I reach for my zipper. That’s all fine and good, but I am obsessed with blowjobs. How can I get him to simmer down long enough to give me mine the want?
If you haven’t sensed the theme of this week’s column, your letter landed here because you need to give your guy his next dose of D with a side of real talk.
Bluntly tell him you want a trade for some time on your thing for time on his thing. The longer you wait, the longer before it’s resolved.
He knows the answers you need, and you’re going to get them. Reach out to him with your burning questions via our editor, Mike@PeachATL.com.
Warning: Advice given in this column is intended for entertainment and novelty purposes. Please proceed at your own risk.
