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Atlanta Community Heroes

How Melissa Etheridge Is Healing

Introducing: The Butterball

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How Melissa Etheridge Is Healing

By Chris Azzopardi Photos: Jenny Anderson, courtesy of Melissa Etheridge

Not so quietly, Melissa Etheridge has been grieving. At just In the book, you write a lot about your parents and about 21, Beckett Cypher, the son of Etheridge and her former now being a parent yourself. How has time shifted your partner Julie Cypher, died from causes related to opioid perspective on how you reflect on the way you were raised addiction. Three years after his death in 2020, Etheridge by your parents? is doing what she’s done since she showed the world what As I grow and change, my memories grow and change. It lesbian women can do on stage in the 1980s — opening doesn’t stay the same. You see things differently. I certainly the windows to her life through her writing. This time, have more of an understanding. I’m older than my father though, her confessional style is within the pages of a new ever lived to be. I can look back and go, “Oh, this is what book, titled “Talking to My Angels.” The title is a reference it’s like to be a parent. This is what it’s like to have lived to the closing song off her 1993 Grammy-winning album your life and then have children.” And so, the older I get, “Yes I Am,” which established Etheridge as a rock force to the more knowledge I have, and the more understanding be reckoned with.

I have of my parents and the events that happened in my In the book, which she summarizes in the foreword as childhood. “an ode to love,” Etheridge lays a lot on the line, delving into many of the intimate details of her sturdy four-decade How has being a parent yourself helped you better undermusic career, her romantic relationships, surviving cancer, stand your parents? losing Beckett and raising four children: Bailey Jean Cypheridge, Miller Steven Etheridge, Johnnie Rose Etheridge When we’re younger, we tend to blame our parents: “Well, and, of course, Beckett. if my mother had loved me more, then I wouldn’t be so sad or depressed.” And at some point in your adulthood, you Etheridge called me at the end of September while en have to go, “I can either keep looking back and blaming route to the Circle in the Square Theater on Broadway, and staying a victim or I can step up and go, ‘Maybe all where she was about to launch her “My Window” show, that happened, but that was the past and I’m not going to which was co-written by her wife, Linda Wallem-Ether- have it define me now.’” idge, and runs through Nov. 19. In a review by Laura With my first book, my mother was very mad at me for Collins-Hughes for The New York Times, Collins-Hughes quite a while. Because when we were growing up, it was, wrote about Etheridge’s approach to Beck-ett’s death, writ- “We don’t air our dirty laundry in front of people.” Foring that “the most starkly powerful part of the show Off tunately, there are people that have stepped up and go, Broadway … works less well on Broadway.”

“Hey, this happened.” And it helps people that are go-ing through it now, and I think that’s the best part.

“I cannot fault Etheridge for her stiffness in that delicate section at the performance I saw, or for reaching for words You get to Beckett’s death in the beginning of the book, but — like her blunt assessment, ‘He was difficult’ — to con- you write that you didn’t just want this book to be about vey her memo-ries,” she added. “But this is where relying his death. Instead, it’s about accepting his death and then on the script’s gentler, more contextual language could as- finding a way forward despite the pain. Why did that seem suage what must be a terrible vulnerability.” like the right approach?

[His death] had such a great effect on me. I can walk When I spoke to Etheridge while in previews for the show, around and go, “All is love. Choose only love. It’s important she said, “I don’t know my head from my feet,” as she was to be happy.” But then when life happens, when the conentering a car to take her to the theater. Whatever discom- trast comes, when it’s things that seem to take you down to posure she was experiencing, on topics such as her initial the bone, that’s when I say — no, if I truly believe all is love, ambivalence toward being a parent to her opioid research and we’re going to choose only love here, I have to see this foundation inspired by Beckett, she spoke her truths with as a temporary existence that we all have, and we all make the kind of clarity we have come to expect. choices. Some of us are here for a little while, some of us are here for a long while, and all in between, and no one Before we get into parenting, let’s talk about Broadway. is responsible for anyone else’s happi-ness. And you can’t How do you distill your life through music into a Broad- save anyone; you can only inspire them. And the way that way show?

I can continue to inspire my friends and my family is to We want to get it to two hours. It’s a bit over now. So that’s be the best I can be, to show what happiness and joy looks what we’re doing today is still cut-ting it down, because like, even when there is loss, which there always is. We are man, when I first threw my first idea together, it was like here to experience loss. four hours long. I was like, “OK, yeah, that’s not going to fly.” So it’s really choosing the beats that I want to say, and Your dedication to Beckett in the beginning of the book how I want to get from beginning to now, and how to do is so poignant: “For my son Beckett who is with me evit. And that’s art. That’s the craft of this. It’s been quite fun ery day in the nonphysical.” How do you interpret the and interesting and exhausting. non-physical in relation to him?

We last connected at the beginning of the pandemic, and Well, you can look at it a bunch of different ways. We can if you’re like other creative people I know or have spoken look at it esoterically, which is, we all really exist in our to, then perhaps you needed a project. It sounds like you minds, and we are all just perceiving everything, and we found that in the show, but also the book. Was the pan- only have the ca-pacity to perceive a certain amount of the demic a reflective time for you? energy around us, that which we call the live energy. But if you look at it scientifically, we only perceive 4% of the Yeah. My thing was, it just all started happening at once. energy that is in this magnificent energy field. And that’s I had three or four desires that I’ve been trying to do over the scientific way of looking at it. So who are we to say that the last decade, then they all came together at once. I think the 4% is all that there is? There’s nothing in that 96%? No, the pan-demic sort of made everybody hungry, so all of a there’s a whole non-physical energy field that I believe is sudden it was the book and the show, and we have a doc- larger than us and where we come from, and everybody umentary coming out next year about the women’s prison calls it all different sorts of things: God, Spirit, the uniin Kansas, but that’s later. I can’t talk about that now. verse. But I do believe that we came from there, we are all connected to there and we’re all going back there.

queer parents, she cannot understand any sort of limitations because she didn’t grow up with that. So it makes absolutely no sense to her. She told me when she was an adolescent, “Mom, when you raised me, I actually thought there were at least as many gay people in the world as there were straight people,” because that’s all who she met. So she kind of comes from that equality place as a natural surrounding, but now she works for GLAAD, and she is very, very active and does so much because she does have such a sense of equality that she was raised with.

I don’t have to tell you that the opioid crisis in America is devastating. And that hit home for you. Can you talk about what Beckett’s death inspired, which was the Etheridge Foundation?

Do you have a name for it? Do you call it anything?

Well, I call it the nonphysical, and the power I call Source.

The path I’ve been on has been filled with a lot of understanding of plant medicine and psy-chedelics and how much it’s helped me, and how much I’ve seen in the research, how much it helps others. It especially does help in opioid use disorder as just a way to get through this and off of this. It doesn’t exist in the pharmaceutical world. And it’s as much of just gathering the research and the data to show folks, because there’s such a misunderstanding of it all. So that’s what the Etheridge Foundation does. It raises funds for research and testing. It’s not very easy because there’s a bunch of laws that are in the way. So it’s trying to change hearts and minds about all that.

Has the foundation helped you heal?

In the book, you acknowledge your initial ambivalence to- Oh yeah, hugely, because I wanted to do something. I felt ward being a parent. Do you think that there’s something so helpless. And it does make me feel like there’s moveabout being a queer person, specifically a gay woman, that ment forward on this, and maybe I could help. This can shaped the way that you thought about parenthood? help someone somewhere.

I don’t know if it has to do with that, necessarily. Although This interview has been lightly edited and condensed for growing up in the ’60s and ’70s, if you were gay, it just clarity. wasn’t an option. It was part of what parents would be so upset about: “You’re never going to have children,” that sort of thing. I think that was my first kind of thought. And the second was, I didn’t exactly have great love and affection for my mother, and so I was kind of like, “Well, what’s being a mother mean?” It seemed like there was a lot that I wanted to do for myself, and I didn’t know if there was any room to take care of anyone else. But then it’s funny, and that’s the whole other journey in itself — when it happens, or if it happens or if it doesn’t, it doesn’t really matter.

There’s no right or wrong to it. It’s just going to be what you’re going to walk in that moment, day to day.

And with your music, how has parenthood shaped that aspect of your life?

Couldn’t write those naughty love songs anymore.

[Laughs.]

Not when they were young, right?

No. Because I wasn’t planning on children, I could write all those naughty songs and not worry about it, but now my kids are like, “Wow, what’s that?” But I grew up, and just growing up makes a big difference. I don’t know if it’s the Chris Azzopardi is the Editorial Director of Pride Source kids or anything, but your music changes as you change as Media Group and Q Syndicate, the national LGBTQ+ a person. What’s important to you, what moves you, what wire service. He has interviewed a multitude of superstars, you want to write about, what am I thinking, what am I including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyonexperiencing? It’s just different than it was when I was 25 cé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, or 30.

Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @ chrisazzopardi.

Your daughter, Bailey, is queer. What’s it like seeing her grow up now as a queer person compared to your own experiences as a young queer person?

I think it’s really different, and for her, growing up with

Introducing the Butterball Giving Back to the LGBTQ+ Community through Food Drive and Dance Party

By Mikkel Hyldebrandt

To kick off the holiday season, Jesse we wanted to conduct a celebratory Lirette and William Treadwell have food drive dance party. That’s when we come up with a meaningful gesture decided on the name, Butterball (again, that serves the LGBTQ+ community not affiliated with the brand name food in need. The Butterball food drive and product). dance party aims to gather donations and canned food annually for an To start things off, we have chosen LGBTQ+ charity organization. David Atlanta-based 501c3 organization, talked to Lirette and Treadwell about the Lost-n-Found Youth (LnFY) as our event and recognizing the importance of beneficiary, so they may provide community support during the holidays. adequate and substantial aid to displaced gay and trans youth.

On 11/11 you are hosting the Butterball – tell us a little bit about the idea and What made you want to get involved in concept. charity like this?

The idea and concept behind our initial Jesse and I both have a long history Butterball food drive and dance party of being involved in volunteering, (not affiliated with the Turkey brand donating, and serving our communities “Butterball, LLC”) is to give donations through philanthropic efforts. We have and canned food to an LGBTQ+ charity a passion for helping others and giving organization annually to kick off the back to our community. For the month season of giving and community for of November, we wanted to kick off the holidays. We wanted to find a way the start of the season of giving with to make a substantial, positive impact outreach to those in need. We have for those in need with the help of our seen and experienced the success of community this year. Since November other charity efforts throughout the kicks off the holiday season, bringing years from community influencers and friends and families together, we decided organizations in Atlanta, and wanted

to join in the effort to help those in the giving while supporting local LGBTQ+ community who are in need. charities. Raise food and money for LGBTQ+ affiliated charities annually.

This party also re-introduces a new event space. Can you tell us more about Tell us how to get involved and how to it? attend the Butterball.

Domaine, Atlanta’s premier nightlife Two cans of food or a $10 dollar donation brand located in Midtown’s rustic are appreciated per person at the door Opera House, heard what we wanted to for entry. To reserve entry tickets to do, and enthusiastically donated their Butterball, patrons can go to Eventbrite venue for us to hold this food drive and search keyword ‘Butterball.’ dance party. This space is unique and has had significant renovations in the Anything else you’d like add? past couple of years. Featuring a floorto-ceiling display and full-service bars, We would like to extend our thanks to the venue boasts amenities found in those involved in the party and outside locations like Vegas and Miami. It’s in of the venue. DJs Seth Breezy (@dj.seth. a convenient location and has featured breezy) and Cindel (@djcindel) are well-known talent like Deadmau5, Sofi donating their talent and time to make Tukker, Steve Aoki, Marshmellow, and this possible. many more.

What do you hope to achieve with the Butterball?

We hope that Butterball will become an annual event where our community can come together to celebrate in the spirit of

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Making an Impact in Atlanta Community Heroes and Organiza�ons

Edited by Mikkel Hyldebrandt

In Atlanta, Georgia, there are for their health and wellThey also provide countless community heroes and being. organizations that are making a case management services and significant impact in the lives other support services to of residents. From providing help residents maintain their housing to individuals with HIV housing stability and improve or AIDS, to offering support their quality of life. and resources to LGBTQ+ youth, there are various organizations Lost’n’Found Youth is another in Atlanta tackling some of the most organization pressing community issues. that is doing vital work in These organizations are vital the community. They provide as they work directly in the support services to LGBTQ+ community, making a positive youth who are homeless or at risk of becoming homeless. and visible impact.

Their services include housing, dropStatus:Home (formerly known emergency as Jerusalem House) is an in center services, street and transitional Atlanta-based organization outreach, that provides supportive living programs. Homelessness housing to individuals and and housing instability is a families living with HIV particularly significant issue or AIDS. They aim to reduce for LGBTQ+ youth, and this homelessness and housing organization works tirelessly instability for HIV-positive to ensure that they have a individuals and families. safe and stable place to live. they provide They have a range of housing Additionally, health support, services, including emergency mental programs, and housing, short-term housing, educational and long-term supportive other resources to help youth housing. This organization is improve their lives. vital as it helps individuals Impact Health and families living with HIV Positive or AIDS find safe and stable Centers is an Atlanta-based that offers housing, which is crucial organization

comprehensive healthcare medical care to individuals services to individuals living with HIV or AIDS, living with HIV or AIDS. Their and offers support services services include primary care, that help clients navigate a specialty care, as well as challenging journey. behavioral health and dental care. They also provide case These community heroes and management services to help organizations in Atlanta are patients access the care and doing vital work that directly resources they need. This impacts the lives of residents. providing supportive organization is vital as it From ensures that individuals housing to individuals living living with HIV or AIDS with HIV or AIDS to offering receive the healthcare, they support services to LGBTQ+ and comprehensive need to manage their condition youth services to and live healthy and fulfilling healthcare individuals living with HIV lives. or AIDS, these organizations AID Atlanta is another play a crucial role in the organization in Atlanta that community. They help to ensure is doing critical work in that vulnerable populations the community. They offer a have access to the resources range of services, including they need to live safe, stable, HIV prevention programs, and fulfilling lives. Without organizations, many testing and counseling, and these comprehensive healthcare individuals and families would services to individuals be left without the support and living with HIV or AIDS. They resources they need to thrive. also provide support services Therefore, it is essential to to help clients deal with the recognize and support these emotional and psychological community heroes, and their impacts of HIV or AIDS. This organizations to help them organization is important as continue their critical work. it helps to prevent the spread of HIV, provides critical

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