the Queer Lives she has Changed
By Matthew Rettenmund
On January 17, Madonna announced her first retrospective hits tour, with the first tickets going on sale a whole three hours later. “Take my money!” gays often say when their divas pull up with fresh product. But nobody is happier to take it than Madonna, our favorite ‘80s capitalist turned ‘90s kabbalist turned ’20s TikTokateur.
For many Madonna fans — we were stans before stans were stans — confirmation of The Celebration Tour represents a long-awaited movement from Madonna toward unapologetically embracing her feel-good musical legacy. It’s a huge change for an artist whose concessions on the dance floor have been many, but whose approach to touring has been to focus on what’s new and to dole out what’s the opposite of new judiciously, even stingily. Sometimes with unexpected bagpipes and guitar riffs.
On her Madame X Tour in 2019, she told one audience her manager wanted her to do more hits, saying this as if he’d suggested she take Guy Ritchie back. But while icy in her convictions, Madonna is a sucker for timing, and in the 40th year since the release of her self-titled debut album, a victory lap must
Photo Credit: Alberto Tolot
have struck her as not just potentially lucrative, but an organically good idea.
Is she ready to be a legacy act? The phrase is dismissive, yet their supremacy in arenas means legacy acts are nothing if not relevant, even if they are not driving the culture forward. While ready to acknowledge her legacy, Madonna is still always in that pop cultural driver’s seat, and no, you can’t take away her license, kids. Her notoriety is evergreen, fueled by her brilliant grasp on how to trigger the world and her disdain for convention. In her tour announcement video — a blackand-white homage to “Truth or Dare” — when participant Eric Andre deems the proceedings “sad and gross,” Madonna cheerfully replies, “Sad and gross is very popular right now.” She couldn’t have come up with a better explanation for how social media works, or a more apt updating of the old adage, “No publicity is bad publicity.”
Cry for Me Argentina”; when she let loose with that primal scream in “Ray of Light”; when she stalked her catwalk, a Leo in a leotard, to “Hung Up”; and even when she went upside down during “Human Nature” on her Madame X Tour, making it harder to hang your shit on her.
“There are examples of divas before Madonna who seemed aware of their LGBTQ+ audience, but Madonna was the first in the trenches with us.”
There are examples of divas before Madonna who seemed aware of their LGBTQ+ audience, but Madonna was the first in the trenches with us. Contrary to popular belief, queering her work did not usurp anything. Had she winked at us at arm’s length, as many gay-householdname divas have since, her already incredible career would have been all the more monumental. She lost countless fans when she began openly inviting speculation about her sexual orientation over 30 years ago, culminating with
Unlike with other artists, Madonna singing her back catalog is not selling out. Her songs, with very few exceptions, are not guilty pleasures; they’re classics that defined (and defied) multiple eras and genres. Madonna’s diehards know what we were doing when she behaved un-“Like a Virgin” on MTV; when she warbled about being great with child on “Papa Don’t Preach,” giving Tipper Gore hysterical morning sickness; when “Like a Prayer” first blessed the radio; when she rapped (it is a rap) all our favorite movie stars on “Vogue”; when she stepped out onto that balcony to command “Don’t
Photo Credit: Ricardo Gomes
her book “Sex.” She not only ate with that, she ate ass with that.
Last year, Madonna took part in a silly TikTok video in which she tossed her panties at a wastebasket. The “if I miss, I’m gay” challenge ended with Madonna missing and shrugging — and with everyone missing the point. She wasn’t coming out as gay — she was saying, “Think what you want.” If Madonna’s gay antics feel tired, instead of dragging her, thank her for that — her goal from the beginning has been to inform the world, often by tweaking its inhabitants with cheeky scandals, that being gay should be a non-issue. “I don’t think it’s relevant,” she said in a 1992 interview of gay rumors about herself. “If people say, ‘Oh, she sleeps with women,’ I don’t bother to deny it because I don’t think it matters. Who cares?”
Now, unfortunately, some in the LGBTQ+ community are saying, “Who cares?” to Madonna, taking her for granted and even at times trying to erase or demonize her past efforts. This is largely because the culture has become so permissive
that concerns about appropriation have taken over, a fight that could distract us from keeping an eye on why drag is suddenly casually being likened to grooming children for sex. And it’s a shame Madonna is so frequently rejected, because the path she forged in the very middle of the mainstream helped allow us to be in a place where she could be seen as old hat.
Probably “old” is the operative word there. Madonna, always the kind of girl unembarrassed to say she deserved that “Evita” Oscar (she did) and to call herself a revolutionary (she is) and to sing “You’re just jealous ‘cause you can’t be me” (you are), got away with being aggressively user-unfriendly for over 30 years because she was young, and then looked young. Now that she is older, her sass is less tolerable to a society conditioned to value youth over most things and convention over all. Especially from women. And especially from women past 60.
Maybe that is why Madonna still matters so much to so many. Yes, she is a legacy
Photo Credit: Jean-Baptiste Mondino
Photo Credit: Steven Klein
artist — and what a legacy! What she has accomplished cannot be taken away, cannot be diminished by others or herself, and will never be eclipsed by new artists thanks to her talent and timing.
But legacy artist or not, she continues to be more of a touchstone than ever by forcing us to confront the fact that aging gracefully is probably a bullshit, paternal, corporate construct, and really isn’t very fun.
And while it is OK for some artists to go all gray and demure, it should be equally OK, even encouraged, when Madonna vamps like Mae West (another maligned sex bomb with a killer body of work) or swears like a sailor, French kisses Jack Black (as she did in her tour announcement video) or forgets to wear anything but a gap-toothed grin.
I would never argue that Madonna is above criticism. She has said and done dumb things — nobody scrutinized for 40 years, let alone an artist committed to chaos agency, fails to fuck up.
Still, I think queer people who aren’t under Madonna’s spell should always remember two equally important things: You absolutely don’t have to be a fan, and you absolutely don’t have to be a hater. God help me for writing it, but Madonna is a metaphorical load-bearing wall for more people than you know. When you tear her down, we feel it. We know she is not perfect, but she gives us strength, and if we react viscerally to your demolition efforts, it’s because we know there are cracks in the wall, but we’re so very tired of waking up to the wrecking ball every day.
In response to Madonna’s The Celebration Tour confirmation, @heyjaeee wrote on Twitter, “I might actually cry seeing Madonna live and sharing the space with older gay men who grew up with her and who also lived through the AIDS crisis and are still here.”
This tweet touched me, even if the “older gay men” part had me contemplating a lower blepharoplasty. Because Madonna was there, and because she made the most of her time there, and because she shows every sign of trying to keep doing so until someone is rolling around on her grave like she did on her mom’s in “Truth or Dare,” the truth is that Madonna, like all icons, means a lot to so many of us, sometimes for reasons beyond her own doing, sometimes for reasons even she dares not guess.
And when someone gives you joy and strength and inspiration, let alone for 40 years, that is always worth celebrating.
Matthew Rettenmund blogs at BoyCulture. com and is the author of the new edition of “Encyclopedia Madonnica.” He grew up in Flushing, Michigan, and now lives in NYC.
Photo Credit: Patrick Demarchelier
On March 22, queer artist and Atlanta resident, Tajonyx, will release his first album, Phantom Fire. DAVID caught up with the independent recording artist and performer to talk collaborations, track listings, and much more.
Last time we spoke, you were releasing your first single – now you are ready to release your first album. How has that journey been?
It has been a roller coaster, to say the least. Since then, I’ve moved from an apartment to a house; I have a live-in boyfriend. I’m super “in love” now. Which for me to say is crazy since before meeting my now boyfriend, I always felt extremely unlucky in love. I’ve gone from having just me as the driving force behind getting my music out to fans to having a team helping me do so. I’ve worked with and met artists I have admired my entire life. I’m very grateful and blessed to be in this position.
What inspired you to do this album?
I wanted to make the album I needed as a kid growing up in the late 90s and early 2000s. I loved a lot of pop acts like Britney Spears, *NSYNC, and Christina Aguilera, and a lot of R&B acts like Aaliyah, Brandy, and Usher, but I didn’t really see a lot of people who looked like me be successful in those spaces. And by me, I don’t mean just black. I mean black and queer. I always felt like I had to choose between white pop stars and black R&B stars; straight female artists or straight male artists. There was no intersection for me growing up. This album is about creating that for myself in hopes that it resonates with others. It’s ultimately a love letter to every queer boy who didn’t have anyone to look up to growing up.
the national anthem at a little league opening ceremony event this weekend. This entire week I have been going back and forth on how to dress to avoid offending the crowd. Should I wear this? Should I wear that? Will people laugh at me? Should I bring my boyfriend? People need to realize that it takes a lot of bravery to sit in your truth no matter who doesn’t like it. By the way, I’m choosing to wear what I want.
You have some very talented collaborators on this album. Tell us about them and how you started working with them.
– and tell us about the name Phantom Fire?
I came up with the name “Phantom Fire” because I had just finished watching an amazing limited series called “Little Fires Everywhere.” I was also in the middle of recording all the songs that would become this project. It was 2020. We had Covid. We had mental illness. We had Isolation.
On top of that, I was dealing with a breakup with someone I thought was the love of my life at the time and insurmountable bouts of anxiety due to the pandemic. And to top it all off, George Floyd happened. The riots in the streets happened. I harkened all these circumstances to little invisible fires that I couldn’t see and that I couldn’t put out, yet they were just as deadly. Racism, anxiety, heartbreak, anger – these were my phantom fires.
I emailed Tiffany Evans about a feature, and she obliged. It was very simple and organic. She is this small, tiny beauty with a gorgeous voice and an even more gorgeous spirit. There were many people I approached for features on this album. A lot of the people I approached are famous queer recording artists and power players in the industry. None of them answered me back or acknowledged my existence. Tiffany did. I’ll always be grateful for that. She gave me an opportunity to showcase my talent by aligning her brand with mine — another shining example of how black women are always supporting us. Dave Eggar is an amazing Grammy-nominated cellist that has worked with Beyonce, Brandy, Coldplay, Evanescence, Bebe Rexha, and now “yours truly.” My co-producer introduced us, and Dave gave me a call to let me know how much he loved my song! He then started adding an entire string section to it. It was a “pinch me” moment for sure!
What are you doing to celebrate the launch of your first album?
I will be having a delayed album release party sometime in April or May. Gotta fit it in where I can cause everything is so busy right now, which is a good thing!
As a queer artist, do you feel that are still forces holding you back when expressing yourself as a queer individual?
I do. Unfortunately, there is a lot of judgment from society at large about how I choose to show up in the world. For example, I am singing
What’s next for Tajonyx?
Next is the rest of the album rollout. We haven’t even scratched the surface yet. 2023 is going to be a busy year!
Where can we listen to your album?
Phantom Fire is available for streaming on all platforms that distribute music.
Anything you’d like to add?
Make sure you give me a follow on Instagram and Tiktok @tajonyx. Inbox me, and let me know what you think of the album!
Putting Out Phantom Fires
By Mikkel Hyldebrandt
Raising Flag Football
By Mikkel Hyldebrandt
Photos: Connor Barber
At the beginning of March, the National Flag Football League of Atlanta (NFFLA) kicked off its Spring football season with an event at the Hideaway. Ahead lies an entire season of games for the teams. DAVID caught up with J. Enrique Vellon-Everett, Commissioner for the Atlanta chapter of the National Gay Flag Football League, to talk tournaments standings and much more.
First, tell us about the NFFLA.
NFFLA was formed 21 years ago. 2023 has seen one of the largest turnouts ever, with over 200+. The league has a total of 15 teams, divided into two divisions: one competitive and one recreational.
What do you think a sports team like the NFFLA means to the community here?
The National Flag Football League of Atlanta aims to offer individuals of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning, intersex, asexual, or aromantic communities, and straight allies across all genders an opportunity to meet and compete without fear of discrimination. The NFFLA is committed to providing the opportunity for these individuals.
What has been the most significant thing you have learned about yourself from being part of a team like this?
The value of inclusivity, of having people from all sorts of backgrounds, genders, and sexualities coming together to play the sport we all love and having a great experience while respecting each other.
Why would you recommend someone to become involved in a local gay sports team?
It is a great way to meet new people in the community and get some good
How do you become part of the NFFLA?
We have open registration twice a year. We also hold Opens Plays and Rookie Mini Camps before every season.
How about if you’re a little intimidated about the whole sports thing – is the NFFLA still something for you?
Yes, I recommend checking out the Falcons Division; it is the more recreational division with a mix of skill levels.
What does the 2023 season have in store for the team?
We are looking forward to our regular season, plus holding our first Women’s + Fall League. Also, travel teams will be heading to Chicago for Pride Bowl and Seattle for Gay Bowl 2023.
Follow us along NFFLA.com, @Atlpridefootball (IG), and National Flag Football Of Atlanta (FB) to keep up with games and registration. cardio.
Where can we follow you and see you in action?
Photos by: Russ Bowen-Youngblood
BARS
2 Blake's 227 10 th S t NE
3 Bulldo g s 893 Peachtree S t NE
4 Fr iend s 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
6 My Sister’s Room66 12 th S t NE
Dining
9 10th& P iedmon t 991 Piedmont Ave NE
10 Camp ag nolo 980 Piedmont Ave NE
16 G’s M id t o w n 219 10 th S t NE
17 Henr y ’s 132 10 th S t NE
19 L a H acienda 900 Monroe Dr NE
20 Guac y Margys 502 Amsterdam Ave NE
7 X Midtown 990 Piedmont Ave NE fitness
BARS not on map
1 FUTURE ATLANTA 50 Lower Alabama St. SW Suite 180
14 Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE spa /bath
15 F lex S p a 76 4th S t N W
BARS
Photos by: Russ Bowen-Youngblood
BARS & CLUBS MIDTOWN
BLAKE’S ON THE PARK blakesontheparkatlanta.com 227 10th St NE
BULLDOGS 893 Peachtree St NE
FRIENDS NEIGHBORHOOD BAR friendsonponce-atl. com
736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
MY SISTER’S ROOM mysistersroom.com 66 12th St NE
X MIDTOWN xmidtown.com 990 Piedmont Ave NE
THE T modeltatlanta.com 465 Boulevard SE
CHESHIRE
HERETIC hereticatlanta.com 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road
BJ ROOSTERS bjroosters.com 2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
868 Joseph E. Boone Blvd NW
840 Joseph E. Boone Blvd NW
ATLANTA EAGLE 1492 Piedmont Ave NE
FELIX’S 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
THE HIDEAWAY 1544 Piedmont Ave NE
MIXX mixxatlanta.com 1492 Piedmont Ave NE
OSCAR’S oscarsatlanta.com 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
WOOFS woofsatlanta.com 494 Plasters Ave NE
EAST ATLANTA, GRANT PARK & EDGEWOOD
MARY’S marysatlanta.com 1287 Glenwood Ave SE
SISTER LOUISA’S CHURCH sisterlouisaschurch.com 466 Edgewood Ave SE
DINING MIDTOWN
CASA ALMENARA 991 Piedmont Ave NE casa-almenara.com
HENRY’S henrysatl.com 132 10th St NE
LA HACIENDA lahaciendamidtown. com
900 Monroe Dr NE
TUK TUK THAI FOOD LOFT
TUKTUKATL.COM 1745 Peachtree Rd NW
DEKALB
LIPS ATLANTA atldragshow.com 3011 Buford Hwy NE
RETAIL MIDTOWN
BARKING LEATHER AFTER DARK barkingleather.com 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
CHESHIRE SOUTHERN NIGHTS VIDEO 2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE ANSLEY
BOY NEXT DOOR MENSWEAR
boynextdoormenswear.com 1000 Piedmont Ave NE, Ste A
GCB & PLEASURES brushstrokesatlanta.com 1510-D Piedmont Ave. NE
FITNESS MIDTOWN
URBAN BODY FITNESS urbanbody tness.com 500 Amsterdam Ave N
CHESHIRE GRAVITEE FITNESS graviteeatl.com 2201 Faulkner Rd NE
SPAS/BATHS ADULT
FLEX SPA exspas.com 76 4th St NW
Dear DAVID
QUp until very recently, I was in a happy, one-yearlong relationship with a gorgeous man, and I thought everything was going well until he completely ghosted me. For days I couldn’t get a hold of him, and when I finally heard from him, he just told me it was over, and that he wanted nothing to do with me. Since then, he has blocked everywhere, and I don’t know where he is.
I know this sounds very unlikely, but I had not even the slightest warning or sign that something was off. I am now left devastated and ruined, and I honestly struggle with moving forward, because I feel so abandoned. I’m trying to ward off negative feelings, but it is so difficult, because how can it not be me when he just left me like that? I don’t know what to do, and I feel very alone.
AIt is easy for anyone to understand your feelings of abandonment. To have your world pulled away from under your feet like you have experienced is devastating. But you must tell yourself this before going to a dark place, even though it sounds like a cliché, but in your instance, it rings very true: It is not you; it is him. To put someone else through what you are going through without offering any sort of reason for this abrupt cutoff only goes to show that he has some serious issues, and that he has probably concealed them from you, his family, and friends. So even though it is hard, try not to place blame on yourself for his appalling behavior.
This probably goes much deeper than where you are emotionally right now. This looks more like mental illness or some sort of abuse that has forced him to act erratically with severe emotional carnage in his trail. In your situation, seek comfort with friends and family, see a therapist that can help you work through this terrible experience. There’s no easy way through an emotional blow like this, but you are already taking positive steps in letting the world know your pain. You are allowed to feel all of those things, but just remember that you are not alone.
We all have those moments of ‘wait, did they just say that?’
After 30, you can’t eat Taco Bell and have sex in the same day.
I was today years old when I realized “Who let the dogs out” is a song about ugly b*tches in the the club, not letting actual dogs out.
Unbothered. Happy. In my lane. Focused. Flourishing. Moisturized.
Why do your ex’s new bf think you hate them? You’re sucking on the d*ck that was in my *ss, so I’m not mad…
Love me right, and I’ll do more gagging than nagging.
Lucky for you, we compile the best of the best right here on this page. Want to join in on the b*tch session? Submit your own nuggets to info@davidatlanta.com.
Stop the fake moaning. If it’s bad, pull him closer and start booing in his ear.
Blocked, unblocked, unadded, added, hated, loved. But I’ve never been forgotten.
