Marking the passage of time

ATTENDING a wedding recently it dawned on me that the passage of time was very much pushing those of us in our fifties to the edges.

During the break between the wedding and the reception, there was no longer a need to make a stampede to the bar to and have a few cold ones to get the party started.

We were now the ones relishing the prospect of a nice cup of tea, and the bonus of biscuits and on this occasion, even cake, as we sat in a quiet room comparing ailments, the potential attraction of cruises, and addressing the issue of ‘how much longer are you planning to work’, or ‘how is retirement? Let me guess, you have never been so busy.’

There was no-one sending out search parties to have us in the photographs.

We commented that there were not many ‘oldies’ there, such as the noble grandparents that everyone makes an effort to speak to. To our surprise, we were pretty much the oldest cohort there, albeit still too young to be distinguished and therefore visible. This was then reinforced at the Reception as we were put on a table in the shadows with a ragtag of people we didn’t know – what we described as the ‘overspill’ table.

We have imperceptibly moved away from being the main players to being members of the supporting cast. It is the younger generation with the exciting career developments, the plans for the future, the lust for life, and their fast-moving razor-sharp brains. They are the ones with the news. We are the ones with stories from the past to repeat.

A couple of nephews explained in great detail what they did for a living. I was riveted with the detail and the buzzwords. The enthusiasm was palpable, and they both clearly had very stimulating roles.

Were they designing something? Were they creating or building software or something? Was it a sales job?

When subsequently quizzed by my wife about what their jobs were, I was only able to muster, “Oh, it’s something to do with IT. In London”.

The generational differences are even more palpable when it comes to cultural references. I am aware of the concept of ‘influencers’ using their reach on social media to promote brands.

Some of these people are superstars in their own right with books deals etc. Who knew?

It is however a good thing to acknowledge the march of time and accept our changing place in the world. This is the circle of life. It is right that the young take over and innovate and shape the world for themselves. We have had our turn.

Moving away from being a participant in everything that goes on to being slightly more of an interested observer of everything going on can be just as enjoyable. The key point here of course is remaining interested. Back to the wedding.

There was no pressure to be anywhere near the dancefloor at any part of the proceedings, which is always a relief.

Disappearing for a stroll when the music was being cranked up was totally acceptable. Most importantly of all, nobody batted an eyelid or raised any polite objection as we left the event earlier than we would have done 20 years ago, to the luxurious embrace of our own bed.