It’s All About Relationships

Jeff took a leap of faith three years ago and attended a Foster Care & Adoption Event at PCHAS. He was almost 45 years old and single, but he knew he wanted to be a dad.

He committed to learning as much as possible and found ways to volunteer and gain experience. He had been a Court-Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) and learned a lot about the foster care system, what kids in care need and the value of relationships with everyone on the team.

He also learned about kids in foster care. Seventy percent of the children are minorities, and almost all are schoolaged and part of a sibling group, so Jeff began preparing to adopt minority siblings. Although he likes learning about other cultures, he asked himself, “Where are my blind spots?” He asked for feedback from professionals and trusted friends, too.

When Jeff felt it was time to choose an agency, he attended an information session and met Brooke, a PCHAS employee. She was warm and personable. He narrowed his search to PCHAS because of her. Choosing to work with the agency became easy because he wanted to work with an agency that wanted to work with him.

He began meeting with Lacey, his Home Development Coordinator, who listened to his concerns and noticed his strengths. Lacey helped Jeff see how his life experiences, both good and bad, uniquely qualified him to see and meet the needs of kids with a history of trauma. She ensured he was a safe family for them.

In January 2021, PCHAS verified Jeff as a foster and adoptive parent. The agency had just received information about two brothers who needed a family and Jeff seemed to be a good match. Seven-year-old Xavier and nine-yearold Emmanuel had been in foster care for more than five years. They had experienced strong disappointments but also had people who had been working on their behalf for years: The same judge presided over their case from when they entered foster care until they exited through adoption. Their attorney was with them for several years, as well, even recusing herself from the case to become their kinship caregiver for a time. She’s still very important in their life, and the boys call her “mom.” Jeff is grateful for their relationship.

For almost 12 months, Jeff was the foster dad for Xavier and Emmanuel. Jeff is committed to giving them positive racial mirrors and learning their history. He’s intentional about choices like healthcare providers and entertainment, and the family alternates between Jeff’s own church and a predominantly African American church, where they are building new relationships. He found a local bookstore with drumming classes and the boys went to a summer camp promoting STEM courses for African American children.

PCHAS encourages parents to build a support network not only for companionship but for parenting guidance. Jeff looks to friends for advice and belongs to a Facebook group for white adoptive parents of African American children. When Jeff adopted Xavier and Emmanuel, PCHAS was there, along with many other supporters. Jeff is grateful for PCHAS and the many people who continue to show up for his family and play essential roles.

Jeff wanted to be a dad. Today, his dream is a reality because of his effort, commitment and the invaluable relationships he and his sons have experienced.

Are you thinking about adopting? Are you willing to go the distance and invest in relationships? PCHAS Foster Care & Adoption Guides are eager to connect. Call 512.212.5700, email fosteradopt@pchas.org, or Join an Online Info Session to learn more.