MY NAME IS MATTHEW AND I'D LIKE TO TELL YOU ABOUT WHAT'S BEEN HAPPENING TO ME LATELY. EVERYTHING'S EASIER WHEN YOU SHARE IT WITH FRIENDS AND I HOPE WE CAN ALSO SHARE SOME USEFUL PIECES OF ADVICE AND INFORMATION. I PLAY BASKETBALL, AND EVERYONE SAYS I'M A BRIGHT SPARK!
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I LIVE WITH: – MY MUM SARAH,
who is a
lawyer and there’s no way you can prove her wrong even when sometimes she is so (guess it’s professional deformation);
– MY DAD MARTIN,
who is a vet,
but likes to treat people as well, especially those who live under the same roof with him. He claims there’s little difference between us and his animal patients;
– MY OLDER SISTER TIFFANY, who’s a Grammar School senior and thinks she’s the smartest and the most beautiful being under the Sun, 3
– MY YOUNGER SISTER MAYA
(the
Princess of Bores, ruling all the bores there are in this universe), who’s seven, wears only pink, and thinks our home is no more than a cupboard for her princess-dolls;
– OUR PETS, RUFUS THE DOG, MIA THE CAT, RICHIE THE PARROT, AND GINGER THE GUINEA PIG (the most predictable and the most laid back members of our family).
MY PARENTS ARE OFTEN ASKED: “Why do you need pets when you have three children?” Those people seem to think that kids are pets too, or else I don’t know how to explain such (stupid) questions.
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EVERYONE TREATS ME AS IF I WERE STILL LITTLE DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR? – Are you dressed warm? Pull that beanie over your ears! It’s windy outside! – Look at that hair, you haven’t combed it at all. – Are you sure you’ll be fine all alone at home? – I don’t care if everyone else is going to stay out until 11 pm, you have to be back by 9.30 and that’s it! – Ice cream is out of question, it’s still too cold for it! – You’re not going to that birthday party dressed LIKE THAT, are you?
I'VE BEEN HEARING SUCH THINGS EVERY SINGLE DAY, EITHER FROM MUM, OR DAD, OR MY SISTER, OR GRANNY, OR GRANDPA, OR AUNTIE...
These people don’t seem to understand how old I am! If you asked them, I bet they’d get embarrassed trying to figure it out there and then, ’cause it’s impossible that they actually know how old I am and still treat me like that! 5
THIS IS HOW I BEHAVE WHEN THEY TREAT ME AS IF I WERE STILL LITTLE [HOW I ACTUALLY REACT DEPENDS ON A NUMBER OF FACTORS]:
1. I GET ANGRY
This usually means I shut myself in my room and refuse to talk to anyone.
2. I GET REALLY MAD
Again, I go to my room slamming the door behind me, then throw a tantrum in my room and yell my head off.
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3. I ARGUE WITH SOMEONE
I try to reasonably explain to them why I think what they’re telling me is pointless, but I do it in a raised voice (meaning: I roar) and by using pretty harsh words.
4. I DO WHAT I WANTED TO DO ANYWAY
even though I know there would be consequences.
THE USUAL OUTCOMES OF SUCH REACTIONS ON MY PART ARE [AGAIN, THE ACTUAL OUTCOME DEPENDS ON A SERIES OF FACTORS, BUT ONE OF THE FOLLOWING IS INEVITABLE]: - they still treat me the same, or worse,
- they ignore me,
- I get punished,
- I get a ban of this kind or the other,
- in effect: I achieve -
NOTHING!!!
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