Growirg Without Schooling 75 Susan Shilcockwrote in GWS #49 about how her daughter Amanda, then 9, had helped a friend learn to read in exchange for the friend's helping her learn to dive. Susan wrote, 'It seems to me, as a parent and witness to these episodes, that there really are situations in which a child is unable to accept input from a parent or another adult, but is willing to hear the same information from
another chtld.'
Norna Richotrx Ross (left) md Eoin Gaj look at books together in our ofEce, Children Leaming frcm Each Other is tle subject of this issue's Focus,
INSIDE THIS ISSUE: News & Reports p.2-3 GED Age Requirements, PA Driver's License Law, Attendance Waiver in NM
Dlscusslon: When Does Guldance Become Manlpulatlon? p. 4-5
Femlnlst Homeschoolers
p. 0-z
Challenges & Concerns p.7-lo Talking With Other Children, Older Readers, Challenges of First Year, Single Parent
Watchlng Chlldren Learn p. 11-14 Needs to l,earn Programming, Interested
in Bratlle, Who is Responsible?, Saving the Tfees, Kids and Money
HowAdults Learn p. t+
way.
Book Revlews p. 15-18 FOCUS: Chlldren Learnlng from Each Other p. 19-21
Chtldren as Phllosophers: Inter:nlew wlth Gareth Matthews p. 2L-22
Older Homeschoolers
Wanting to find out whether this was true for otlters in the GWS readership, we asked several children to write about experiences of learning from or teaching another child. Taken together, the children's responses seem to reflect, almost more than anything else, their refusal to fit any general pattern or to conform to educators' (or this editor'sl) assumptions about what ought to happen. That is, some of the children inslsted it was easier to learn from other children, sylng that children's explanations were easier to follow and that children tend to understand one another better. Others, however, very much preferred to learn from adults because adults' explanations were clearer and because it was somehow less threatening to reveal ignorance to someone who was expected to know more anyway. Some felt that knowing or being known by the other person was more important than either person's age. One thought that did come up repeatedly was about the inspiration or feeling of accessibility that other children can provide. Alison Klein wrote, about preferring to learn horsebackriding from the instructor's daughter, "I think this is because [the daughterl can see my point of view more easily - she knows how it feels to be riding nou.'Kaila Morris explained that she felt more comfortable asking anolher child questions about math because the child was probably able to remember asking the same questions herself. Even when a child ultimately preferred to learn from an adult, as Sara Matilsky did when she found her mother's explanations of division clearer than the explanations given by a friend her own age, she nevertheless acknowledged, 'But David was the one who got me interested in dividing, so maybe I'd already learned a little bit from him.'In Sara's case, the child provided the initial inspiration and the adult then helped her achieve the precise understanding she wanted. It is also interesting to see how much these children have learned about teaching. Olivia Baseman says that the experience of teaching a class of other children gave her a sympathy for adult teachers that she hadn't previously felt. Nathan Williamson writes that he thinks he learned things about rock climbing from teaching it to other children that he might not have learned any other
p. 2g-24
Resources & Reeommendatlons p. 24-26
Addltlons to Directory, Pen-Pals p.2Z-29
Finally, it's worth noting that just about all of these teaching and learning episodes came about informally, independent of any class or organized framework. Perhaps the reason children are often able to learn from each other so well is that no one lnsists that this happen or includes it in the ordinary set of expectations about children's education. Thus, as Olivia Baseman observes, "We're just talking and the learning sort of sneaks in there.' Even as we acknowledge that some children enjoy or even prefer learning from each other, we should not go so far as to mandate that they try it, both because it won't work for all of them and because such insistence on our part would remove, even for those children who benefit from such experiences, the very element that allows them to work so well. Susannah Sheffer
-
News
&
Reports
GED Age Requirements In GWS #7O, Judg Garuey andJirn Bergin (ME) turcte that they unre fugtm@ to collect irdormation abut the GED "wilh tte thought oJ one dag challprging the
minimum oge requirenent
h
Mahe."
Right now, you rrurst b rc to toke tle GED in Maine, or 17 ottd. 'slanu a gd. reason-"
Is this an office? From left to right: Matt Nesbary, Nikki Nesbary (holding Alison Farenga), and Lauren Falenga play while the adults hold a meeting upstairs.
Office News
&
Announcements
[SS:] Since the last issue of GWS went to press, Pat Farenga spoke at the New
Jersey Unschoolers' Network conference on April 2lst, and I spoke at the Connecticut Home Educators conference on the same day. As we said in the last issue, several other conferences are lined up for the spring and summer. We're busy with the production of Nanry Wallace's second book, Child's Work, which we are proud to be publishing.
in time for our fall catalog. I'm also busy with the final stages of A Llfe Worth Duirtg: klected
We expect the book to be out
Letters oJJofur Holt As soon as this issue of GWS goes to press, I'll be making the index for the book. and afterwards I suspect I'll have some stories for you about how adults learn on the spot when they have tol More publishing news: Addison Wesley is bringing out a new edition of George Dennison's The Lit:es oJ Children as part of their Classics in Human Development series. They plan to use John Holt's review of the book (published in the Neru York Review oJBooks and sold as part of our reprint collection) as the introduction. For the past few years the book has been out of print - we've been selling the remaining stock here, but it hasn't been available anywhere else - so it's good to know that the book will be widelv available once more. A difficult part of these last weeks was that 8-month-old Alison Farenga was in
the hospital with meningitis - a frightening illness, as any of you who have had experience with it know. We are happy to report that she is well and back in the office with her parents, and appears not to have suffered any lasting effects from the illness. As you'll see elsewhere in this issue, her motlrer Day also has some positive things to say about the hospital experience.
Day and Donna Richoux have been
working hard on a program that will allow us to bring our subscription maintenance (the information about who subscribed when, and so on) in-house. Up to nowour mailing house has handled this, but we wanted to take it over so that we could adapt it more preclsely to our needs and so that we could eliminate many of the problems that our subscribers have patiently endured. Please take a moment to check your label now and let us know ifan error occurred in the conversion.
Other states haw sinilar requirements. We askedJudg totetus whatprqress she had nrade, and s}e replied:
I am enclosing a report on the current state of efforts to change the CED minimum age requirements in Maine. This report summarizes some of our findings of the last few months. Since it was written to be presented to educators, much ofwhatwe wrote is watered down for that audience. We have collected correspondence from many others who are very interested in this issue. We just heard from Raymond and Dorothy Moore who will assist these efforts in whatever way they can. The Moores encourage all homeschoolers from age 12 or so to work from practice tests for the GED to become acclimated to the test.
fume errcLosed:
es<cerpts
Jrom the report Judg
As part of the new homeschooling regulations [in Mainel, the GED, high school equivalency certificate, should be adopted as the means for homeschoolers to receive high school diplomas when they have completed their academic work, regardless ofage.... Maine homeschoolers presently have no avenue to receive high school diplomas other than the GED, which is restricted to
individuals over certain ages. Because many homeschoolers finish their academic requirements at younger ages than
their traditionally schooled peers, they
need to be allowed to take the GED without
age discrimination. ... How this new regulation would work; The test would be given and controlled in the same method that it is currently given and controlled. No specia-l scheduling would be required. Homeschoolers would not prepare for the test in
adult education classes. They would simply prepare for the GED at home and, when ready, would take the test at the designated times at designated GED testing centers. ... Some exceptions in other states: Every state has varying age requirements for the GED, ranging from no minimum age in Alaska, to several states with ages 15 and 16, more with 17 and 18, and some few with 19. Alaska does have compulsory attendance laws. However, a person under age 16 who leaves school may take the GED, with no waiting period, regardless of age.
Some states have tried or are cur-
rently uslng "competency testing" programs for their in-school students. From approximately 1979 to 1984, Florida had a
successful "early exit' program. The legislature established a graduation acceleration mechanism to be based upon a standardized test and selected the GED as the test. During that time several thousand students in all grades passed the test and ended their tenure in high school. Studies on these Florida students indicated that they elected to leave school because of academic fn:stration or career advancement, not because they were having problems at school. The table and correlations indicated that one must be fairly successful in school to experience success on the GED. In otherwords, taking the GED was not an'easv out" for someone who could not handle regular school work. ...There has been no research to show that early leaving has caused damage to any student or to any state. None of the young diploma eEuners in Alaska, Florida, or elsewhere have proven to be more prone to crime, unreliable on the job, anti-social, or dependent on societ5l. In no state has early leaving caused damage to the state's economy. In all studies, the opposite has beenthecase. [SS:] I spoke with Steve Moltozo of the MAINE HOMESCHOOL ASSOCI,ATION, who is working to lower or eliminate the age requirement for homeschoolers wanting to take the GED, as part of the overall rewriting of the current homeschool regulations in Maine. Steve said that homeschoolers are trying to get a date
Important Information about the f99L Dlrectory
Wc arc discarding all thc namca in our 199O Directory and compiling thc 1991 Directory from gcratch. We do this every couple of years to make sure that
the listings in the Directory are current and active (that they are of people who truly want to be contacted by others). So, if you want to be in the l99l Directory (which will be published in GWS #78), gou must Jill out a Directory enfry Jonn with the complete i4formation- In past years there has been some confusion about this - people have said, "But I've always been in the Directory; why wasn't my listing carrled over?' Even lf you've been in every Directory since GWS # l, you must send in a card now to be included in the next one. You have until October 15, l99O to do this, and we will remind you again in the next issue, but do be sure to do it ifyou want to be in the next complete Directory.
The only people who do not havc to
fill out an entry form
now are those
whose names appear in the list of Directory additions in THIS issue, #75. This issue contains a compilaton of all the additions and changes that have come in since last December, and we assume that these are current and active enough to be included in the l99l Directory. Please take a moment to check and see if your listing appears here. If you see your name in this issue and don't want it to be included the complete 199 I Dtrectory, please let us know so that we can delete it now. So, again: if you want to be in the l99l Directory and your listing appears in this issue, do nothing. If you want to be in the 199 I Directory and your listing does not appear in this issue, fill out an entry form and send it in.
Growing Without Schooling #75
3 for a public hearing at whlch they can present their position. I also spoke with Sury Dodd of the Tennessee group HOMESCHOOLING FAMILIES, and learned that a bill, introduced by homeschoolers, which would have allowed homeschoolers to take the GED at any age, never got out of comrnittec during this
legislative session.
Driver's License
they're turned down, they can Just follow the regular homeschool procedures.
Local News For addresses oJstate andlcr.al gtortps, see GWS #72 or our HomeschrcIing Resource l;ist, at;ailable Jor $Z.SO,
Kangas: The February issue of the
KANSANS FOR ALTERNATTVE EDUCA-
Bill in
PA
&verol readers hanp ben watchirtg bills in uaricus states that would prchibtt students wla don't haw high sctrcol diplonus (or, in some cases, students who are rwt attendfu high sctt@l) Jrom getting drir,er's hbenses. Susan Richman nrrites in tle Sprhg 1990 PENNSYLYANIA HOM&SCHOOLERS newsletter abut that state's bill, HB 996, u.rhich ties drh-ter's licenses to school attendance hgd standbgJor sfudents
tle
TION newsletter mentioned Senate BiII 545. which would have lowered the state's compulsory school age from 7 to 6. We called the Kansas State Senate and learned that the bill did not pass out of the education committec this session. A note in the KFEA newsletter, anticipating that the bill would not make it out of c-ornmittee, added,
'But it is important that
we write to let
Lee Ann Roberts (NM) turtes:
them know we are opposed to lowering the compulsory school age ln Kansas. That way, when this kind of bill comes before them in the future, they will take one look at it and automatically say, 'My oonstituents won't want this bill.'" North Dakota: A mailing from the NORIH DAKOTA HOME SHOOL ASSOCIATION says that on March 23, the Department of Public Instruction held a hearing on the proposed "Quality Assurance" regulations regarding homeschooling. These regulations require homeschoolers to follow specific procedures when their child falls below the 3oth percentile lon standardized tests], and says that parents who have fulfilled the parent qualification part of the law by passing the National Teacher's Exam or by being a certilied teacher must submit two yearly reports to the local school district. At GWS's press time, there had been no wond from the Department of Public Instruction since the hearing.
New Merico readers mav wish to be
increase the upper end of the state's com-
ages 16, 17,and18:
...The bill is moving on the fast track. As of this writing it is in the Appropriations Committee. When I spoke with Paul Parsells in the Transportation Committee about the issue, he suggested that we may indeed want to see that the bill is amended to speciftcally exempt students enrolled in home education prograrns in good standing.... The whole idea of tying driver's licenses to attendance is a controversial one, without the higft effectiveness its proponents had hoped for in other states, but it is something that is gaining popularity among legislators....
Attendance Waiver
in
NM
Pcnnsylvania: House Bill 947 would
reminded of an option in thi law which can free a 5-8 year old from the compulsory attendance statutes. Under Section 22- l2-2 of the Procedures for Homeschooling tn New Mexico, a "qualified student' (anyone
ofcompulsory school age) can be excused from attendance if \rrtth the consent of the parent, guardian, or person having custody and control ofthe person to be excused, the person is excused from ttre provisions of this section by the superintendent of schools of t].e school district in which the person ls a resident, arrd the person is under Syears ofage.' We applied for the attendance waiver for our S-year-old daughter Michelle. Albuquerque Public Schools sent us a form in which we had to state our reasons for requesting the waiver. We used Raymond Moore's books, espectally Home-Style Teachhg, and told them that for reasons of character dwelopment and phystcal health, we were opposed to sending a young
child to school. We were approved in a couple of weeks. The secretary we spoke to on the phone said they've nwer tumed anyone down, but I suspect most people don't apply for an
attendancr waiver beyond kindergarten. We plan to reapply for the waiver
until
Michelle is 8, and then fill out the state homeschooling forms. We'll see what happens. People really have nothing to lose by applying for the attendance waiver. If
Growing Without Schooling #75
pulsory school age to 18, Susan Richman reported in the Spring l99O issue ofthe PENNSYLVANTA HOMESCHOOLERS
newsletter. Susan writes that the current age is 17, and that there are provisions for students who want to leave earlier (if they have work permits and are working regularly, or if they have already graduated from high school, for example). Under HB 947, these provisions would remaln, even if the age were raised to 18, and the bill adds the provision that students could leave at 17 with parental or guardian consent. Susan also writes, "The House Education Committee Sta{I Person, Frank Christopher, did tell me that there ls definitely talk among legislators about also lowerirq the compulsory school age... There is at this time no formal bill or amendment on the issue, but it is one we should all be watching out for closely, as it would directly a{Iect great numbers of homeschooling families. PA compulsory school age is currently 8 {the child.has rerser bjore ben entolbd. in a school.. There are only a handful of other states that have such a late compulsory age, and many other states have been worldng to lower their already low ages even fur-
ther...' Tenneggee: Homeschooler Sandy Madsen writes. "Tennessee's homeschooling law states that parents who want to teach their chlldren at home in grades 9
through 12 must have at least a baccalaureate degree. The law also says that parents may apply for a waiver from the degree requirement on a ye.rr to year basis. Since this law went into ellect (1985), 36 families have applied for waivers and 36 families have been denied walvers. Education Commissioner Charles E. Smith justilies his rigid position by sayrng that the legislature has given hirn'no standards' to go by. 'Three homeschooling families filed suit here last October and are asking Chancery Court to order state education ollicials to cease denying all degree waiver requests and to discontinue enforcement of the requirement that homeschoolers register with the state by August lst of each
year." Su.zy Dodd of the HOMESCHOOLING
FAMILIES group tells us that the HOME SCHOOL LEGAL DEFENSE ASSOCIATION's request for this suit to continue as a class action suit has been heard in court.
How to Find Out About Laws & Regulations Here ue some ways you cm ffnd out the lcgal situation in your state. I) Look up the law yourself, in a public library or law library (courthouse, law school, etc.) Laws arc indexed: try'school attendance'or 'education, compulsory." l9 states have revised thca home education laws since 1982 s check the recent statute changes. We have printed or summrired these new laws ln ourback issues. 2) Ask the state department of education for any laws or regulations pertaining to homeschooling and/or sttrting a private schml. In some states (partlcularly CA, IL, IN, KY) there are few regulatiorrs concerning private schools and m you can call your home a school. lfyou are concerned about revealingyour name and address to the state, do this through a friend. 3) Contact state or local homeschooling groups. This list was last printed in GWS #72, and is updated and sold separately for $2.5O as
part of our'Homeschmling Rcsource List.'Some groups have prepared handbmks or g:idelines on legal mattcs. Oftcn, these groups cm tell you more about thc legal climate in a state than myone else can - whether new legislation is pendlng, for example, and how the present law is being enforccd. 4) Contact other families listed In our Directory. This is paticularly useful ifyou live in a state that leaves homeschooling declsions up to individual school districts. Whcn you contact these fiamilies, help them by having done somc research on your om first. 5) In gcneral, it is not wisâ‚Ź to start by asking your local school district: thcy usually don't know the law either. Better to gather the facts lirst on vour own. GROWING WITHOLTT SCHOOLING #75, Vol. l3 No.3. I$SN #0745-5305. Published bi-monthly by Holt Associates, 2269 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge MA O2laO.$25/yr. Date oflssue: June l, 199O. Second-class postage paid at Boston, MA. POSTMAS'TER: Send addrcss changa to GWS, 2269 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge MA O2l4O. ADVERTISERS: Deadlines are the lSth of odd-
numbered months. Contact Patrick Farenga for rates.
Discussion: When Does Guidance Become Manipulation? F\om a letter
tlvt Batt
Brush sent to the E IPIRE,SIATE
HOME EDUCATORS rrcwsbtten ...When does guidance become manipulation? Does guidance mean you show a child something and let him take it or leave it?
Is it manipulation if you require a child to investigate something for a whlle before deciding to continue with lt or abandon it? Can a child really exercise true choice after a mere cursory examination of a subject? GWS #61 has an interesdng letter about this as it applies to drawing. Susan Richman writes, 'As Molly (4) grew in conlidence and ability, her older brothers wilted... Maybe I agree withJacob (Z that he just'isn't interested tn drawing',.. Maybe I should leave well enough alone.' It would appear that Susan has guided her son to drawing, he has chosen not to pursue it, and any further efforts on her part could be considered manlpulation. She continues: "But I felt I had to at least glive my very best try at turning things around for the boys,' and with the aid of a new book and further efforts, the boys became interested in drawing. Susannah ShelTer comments, "...What does it mean to offer someone a cholce?... It may have looked as though one child had chosen to pursue drawingwhile the other two had not. But...the boys were not genulnely free to choose between drawing and not drawing. Their feelings of inadequacy left them, by default, with only one
option." ...I'd like to know what parents do and think about subjects that don't lnterest their children. Perhaps a child doesn't like history. Most of us mtght agree that her parents should not get a hlstory textbook and force her to memorize the dates and fill in the blanks at the end ofeach chapter, with tests each week. But do most homeschool parents really believe that absolutely nothing needs to be done to expose this citizen to certain important historical events and ideas? Has this girl exercised true choice and should we simply trust that sometlme ln the future, when she needs it, she will somehow automatically acquire an appreciation of history and all will be well? The realtty, to paraphrase Susannah Sheffer's comment at the beginning of this letter, is that this young wornzrn ls not genuinely free to choose between bdstory and no history. Perhaps her dislike of history is based on publlc school experiences like memorizing from a dull textbook, Perhaps her frlends who attend school complain about research papers they have to do. In such a case, is it manipulation or ls tt guidance if parents s.ay, "Here's an award-winning novel about a girl your age in colonial Connecticut who's accused of being a wltch. Why don't you try it?' (Elizabeth Speare's The Witch oJ Btackbtd. Pondl Or, "PBS is showing The Wodd At War series on Monday nights. It's a terrific series about World War II and we'd like you to watch it.' If the student reads a chapter or watches an episode, enJoys it, and llnishes the rest voluntarily, we'd probably say the parents have guided the child. But what if she doesn't like the book or the series or other similar olferings? Are parents Justified in sa5dng, "We've tried to fumish you with enjoyable historical materials, and we're sorry you haven't found them more lnteresting. However, we believe history is important for every citizen, and we must insist that you spend an hour a week on history in one form or another. You may choose howyou would like to go about this, or we will choose." Is this manipulation or, worse, outrtght coercion? Or is lt sttll only appropriate guidance? ...Isn't an important function of teachers and parents to offer as much of the world as possible to children? Or is this manipulation - should we stand back and let our children discover the world on their own? How can we expect chtldren to ask about what they don't know exists? A child may discover birds, automobiles, and local politics on his own, but he mtght not discover the Holocaust, the Gulag, the anclent Romans and Greeks, or The Odgssey for a long, long time unless we introduce him. [SS:]
I
responded:
I think your questions are important and need to be diskt me see if I can begin to address them in the orderyou raise them. Hrst of all, on the matter of choice, I llnd it helpful to make the distinction between access and exposure that Aamn Falbel makes in his thesis about the Danish FHskol,en 7O. He says: 'Access implies making someone an offer - an olfer they can refuse. Exposure on the other hand means subjecting someone to an experience.... Exposure is something done to you; access refers cussed.
to prodmity, availability."
I don't think we can choose something that we don't feel is available to us, which is the point you make when you say that children can't ask about things they don't know about. If I don't think I can have it, I can't choose to have it. This is fairly obvious. I was in a sense talking about avallabilit5r when I talked about Susan's children and thelr drawing. It seemed to me that if the boys felt that they couldn't draw (as opposed to knowing that they could but not, for whatever reasons, actually doing it), drawing was in an important sense not available to thern So I thought that what Susan had done was to give them access to drawing once again, after which they could, truly, take it or leave it. I think a lot of us say no to things out of this feeling that no is our only option. We think of ourselves as terrible at math or hopeless at fixing things or blocked at writing, and so we stop trying to do those things. And as you say, ifs often the case that these sorts of fears or blocks come from some kind of previous bad erperience - no one ls born hating any area of human activity, after all. So if a child thinks, "I can't do math," it's not so much that she's chosen not to do math as that she feels she has no choice about math. Given all this, it might make sense to think about how to make, or rather keep, all activities and interests available to children, so that they can proceed through life making genuine, unhampered choices about wery new activitlr they meet. What we must remember, though, ls that there's another important side of this choice question. I've said that a no is not a real no if we don't feel we can say yes Just as easily. Well, this works the other way too. A yes ls not a real yes if we don't feel truly free to say no - if the olfer, to use Aaron's words, ls not one we can refuse. The trouble with so many of the offers we make to children is that they are of this latter kind. We say, 'Would you like to read this book?" and we mean, "I really want you to read this book and will be very disappointed if you don't." Children sense this and resent it, and I believe they are right to. Better for the adult to be honest and say, "I am requiring you to read this," than to offer a choice which is
not really a choice. But, to continue with your questions, is tt right to require children to try something they haven't been interested in? If a child feels herself able to say both yes and no to something, and happens to have said no, I don't think it's my business to do much to change that. Il on the other hand, the child feels incapable of something, especially something she might truly like to be able to do, I might think about ways to change that, But I would think about them urith the child. We could say in such cases, 'I notice that you seem to shy away from anything that has to do with math. I hate to think of you having to keep from doing things Just because they have to do wtth math, so I want you to know that if you want to work on overcoming that block, I'm avallable." Or, tf we ourselves have had experiences overcomlng varlous blocks or fears, or stmply experiences with learning new things, we can tell our children about these (or better yet, let them see us having those experiences). All of this is much more likely to work, and to be acceptable to the child, if the goal in question is the child's own - if he or she really does want to get over the fear of that particular thing. Why not be more forceful about this? Because lt is dlscourteous and probably won't work anyway, and because the risks of doing it are so great. Aaron continues, 'There are costs associated
Growing Without Schooling #75
with exposing someone to something: the exposure itself frequently leaves a resldue, a bad taste in one's mouth. Should we expose children to, say, classical music? Should we say to them, Uust sit through this one concert so that you'll know what it's like. After that, you can decide for yourself whether you want to come back for more.'? The problem with this line of reasoning is that ffrst impressions are often lasting ones. A person subjected to classical music might be turned offfor life. Of course, there is also a chance the person may be turned on for life. But in the case where the experience tums out not to be pleasant, there is often extra resentment toward the person doing the exposing. And this resentment colors a person's relationship to the experience itself.. . " In addition to these risks, there is the further risk (and this one may be the greatest of all) that too much exposing, to much deciding for children what they will try, erodes their capacitles as self-educators. I think of Kim Kopel's story in CWS #72 about overcoming her fear of math. Klm described liguring out for herself hou.r to overcome that fear, and I think this is what might have been lost if someone else had decided that it was more important to require her to overcome it at an early age (and I doubt that that would have worked anJrway, as Kim herself points out). So, are we back to the beginning - is there nothing at all that parents can do? I think we have more available to us than the choice you present ln talking about the child who dislikes history: you suggest that one choice is to let her'somehow automatically' come to like history herself, and another is to require her to try a historical book or a telewision program. This implies, I think, that children only take in those parts of the world that we put right in front of them and tell them to take in. I flnd myself wondering why, if The Witch oJ Blackbitd Pond or that PBS series are really good and lnteresting, the only option we have is to require the girl to read or watch it as an assigned lntroduction to history. Why say, "It's terrific and we'd like you to watch it"? Why not, "It's terrific and we plan to watch it; we'd love for you to join us"? When we say that children are self-directed or learning on their own, I don't think this means that they are learning in a vacuum orwithout the help of anyone else. The stories in GWS often show how a child used an adult to learn something, and this ls frequently a subtle and complex process. The story in GWS #68 about Vita Wallace helping her young friend leam violin and then composition ("The Relationship Between karning and Teaching') is a good example of this. I think that when children are frer- to say no to what we offer them, they do want to hear what we care about, what we think is lmportant. I often recommend books to the young writers I work with, sometimes qulte strongly (saying somethlng like, 'Thts has a lot to do with what you're thinking about or worlidng on; I really encourage you to try if or'I love this book; reading it was very impotant to me"). They have almost always followed up on those recommendations and read the books, though not always immediately. But built into the stmcture of our relationship and of the olfer is the clear understanding that the recommendation is not a requirement. When this ls present, I {lnd that children come
asking for more. You may be thinking that this sdll doesn't address the issue of important things that children may not come to without some urging on our part. I thtnk you may be underestimating how much a part of our culture the things you mention actually are (and if they aren't, we might want to think about why it's so crucial tlut children learn them). What do you mean when you say that history is important? In what sense is it important? What is it lmportant to you to know about? I leamed about the Holocaust not because it was in the school curriculum but because it was actuallv lmportant to people I knew; lt was a part of the past that had allected their lives and they believed in the importance of continuing to talk about it and trying to understand it. When this is true, no one needs to tell a child what is important. It is simply apparent; it is manifest in the world in which the child lives. And I don't believe that this need be any less true of ?he Odyssey or ancient Eglpt or anything else. My parents loved Shakespeare, so
Growing Without Schoollng #75
Shakespeare was alive in our house, and obviously tmportant - in fact, I probably leamed more about Shakespeare than I dld about btrds and automobiles (which you say are more immediate). It all depends on what's going on in the pardcular family. So I would say that children get their inltial sense of what's important by what is, in fact, important to the people around them. They sense a dishonest5r or hypocrisy, on other hand, when we say, "This is important" but don't seem to be reading it or doing it or thinking about it ourselves. If you think certain things are important, live that, demonstrate it, let the importance become
apparent to your children,
Brrrt in htm, responded utith
the
Jollowittg comments:
I don't interpret what Susan did as giving her children access to drawing. Drawing was always available, but her sons didn't choose it until they were subjected to it ln a more positive way exposed to it in such a way that their earlier perceptions of it were changed.
Offering the child who says, 'I can't do math- access to math in case she wants to try it Fgain is not enough. She won't choose it because ofher perceptions ofthe subject. She needs to be exposed, gluided, or manipulated in such a way that she has a positive experience. Not 45 minutes a day, Monday through Friday, in the school manner, but once or twice a week, briefly, in a sensitive manner attuned to her interests. Again, how do we make genuine, unhampered choices about things without experiencing them first? Give children access and some will choose the experience, but those who don't won't know what they're missing unless "exposed,' that is, guided or manipulated to try it. To use an example from college, one need not take a course for credit - one can audit a course, attend lectures, skip the papers, delve deeply into some areas ofthe subJect and skip over others. This is a mlddle ground between taking the course and not taking the course. One gets an overview of a subject without being forced to do work that one linds odious. This is what I llnd mlssing from the dialogue - the educationists say, 'Make the child take the course," and the homeschoolers and reformers say, 'kt the child choose not to take the course.' But seldom does anyone talk about auditing. I think you're splitting hairs when you differentiate between asking a child to read a book, when we expect him to read it, and simply telling him that he is required to read it. I think in either case the child may resent it, depending on how he reacts to the book and when he is required to read it (when the other kids are playing ball?). At any rate, this is not exactly how I would expose a reluctant child to history, and perhaps I should have elaborated more in my original letter. Assume a child knows very little about World War II and has expressed no interest. I've offered him access but he hasn't chosen to investigate the subject. I'm concerned that he doesn't know what he's missing; ultimately, whether he gets excited about lt or not, I feel it's essential that he be exposed to the war because ofits effects on ourworld today and its lessons about human nature. How do I guide or manipulate him? First of all, I need not worry about it this year or next - I'm not following a state syllabus or lesson plan worked out weeks in advance. I'm only concemed that at some time during his growing up, say by the age of I 8, he be exposed to this. If he's not ready now I'll try another time. Now assume he's 16 and sUll hasn't investigated WWII on his own, so I decide it's time to guide, manipulate, or expose him - call it what you will. I still try to be sensitive to his learning style and interests. Is he interested in architecture? A lot was destroyed and rebuilt during the war. Horses? The Polish cavalry charged Nazi tanks. Skiing? The Finns and the Soviets and the Nazis fought on skis. There are good books on all these subJects, but ofcourse they must be found, and this is an important responsibiligr for the guide or manipulator. Books must be age-appropriate, wellwritten, and a choice must be offered. If The World. at War or Vbtory at *avldeo series work better, that's llne with me. I'm not concemed about the regurgitation of names and dates, butwith the human drama of historv. If he still dislikes it. I'll limit the ex-
6 posure to perhaps a half hour twice a week. It's dillicult for me to imagine a very deep
resentment developing from such a lowkey program. About exposing someone to classical music: maybe tlris person is really turned off to getdng dressed up, sittlng for two hours in a concert hall when it's warm and sunny outside, and beingunable to see past the older and taller people sitting in front. All exposures are not created equal. Aaron's argument is a little simplistic - he fails to distinguish between appropriate and inappropriate exposure. An appropriate exposure to classical music for a chtld would more likely be background music at bedtime,
From the information ln Kim's letter about overcoming math phobia, it appears that she and her mother are missing the point of mathemafics. Ftather than walt until Kim decides she wants to make another try at basic math skills, her mother might try exposing her to an entirely dlfferent kind of math by using Harold Jacobs's Malllematics: A Human Endeatnr, which you sell. The story about Vita Wallace and her violin student involves a teacher and student who are both self-directed. My questions are about students who are not self-directed ln a given sublect. Similarly, you are working with young writers who are already interested in writing. I'm interested in what parâ‚Źnts and teachers do with students who don't like to write and won't unless manipulated. About what is immediate: I meant to suggest that for most kids, birds and autos
are more immediate than Shakespeare. And what about the parent who studied Shakespeare, decided it wasn't for him, but still realizes its worth. How does he present Shakespeare? Most parents don't have enough time to live and demonstrate all the things that are important. What do we do about those things that we don't have time for, but would pursue and demonstrate to our children if we could? [SS:l I could respond again - there's so much to say about these issues - but I d rather hear from some ofyou. I hope both young people and adults will join in this discussion.
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Feminist Homeschoolers We'tn receil,rcd serseral rore respnses to Borbora Cgmoszinski's request to lear Jrom Jeminist lameschders (GWS #73). Mostpeople who responded asked us to Joruatd their letters dtrectly to Barbaro" but aJeu gave us permission to quote Jrom tletr letters in GWS as r.uell bme etaerpts: Flrom Muriel Polko (MD:
I consider myself a strong feminist, though I would seem out ofplace at a feminist mecting where the main conc.ern is getdng into the fast lane with all the men and compeflng with them for power in the corporate world. Of course I support the need forwomen to achieve status and digntty in the world 'out there," but as a stay-at-home homeschooling mom, my feminism takes a different furn. ...It is amazing how se:dst messages penetrate the minds ofvery young children. I have had an entire group of preschoolers refuse to acknowledge any of the wonnswe had caught as "she." They had a mental block against a female Tlrannosaurus Rex, evenwhen she had eggs. Foran entire story hour I reftrred to a snake and my snake puppet as'she," but most of these tots left talking about "he." All of nature has a decidedlv male tone. The medii is largely responsible for thls lack of equal representation of females. l,ook at so-called enlightened Sesanne Street After some nice little message of "girls can do anything boys can," ifs back to those guys with the real power and plzzaz - Big Bird, Bert and Ernie, Cookie Monster, Oscar the Grouch, etc. Yes, human females equal males on the show. But it's all those (male) puPpets with whom
the kids identiff. The world of literature is just about as
unbalanced. I do not reject good booksjust because oftheir failure to represent females adequately, because these books are wonderful in spite of it. I'll read delightful Winnie the Pah to my daughter any day. But, as with Sesarne Street, I will tell her that I think the author made a
mistake by not including any significant females.
Certainly there are wonderful exceptions - Pippi Longstocking, the Little House books, books by Rumer Godden, and rnany more. And some of the wellrespected authors of young children's books are starting to come around. Arnold
Lobel now has Amanda Pig to add to Frog and Toad and Oliver Pig. But all in all, there is still a lack of female rePresentation in children's literature. So, I frequently take the liberty of changing one of the characters in a male-dominated book to a female character, often at tJee request of my now observant and indignant daughter. It is more difficult to keep track of the serdsm that our l4-year-old son may be encountering in music, books, movies, and TV. It is not our style to be really restrictive, but my husband arrd I do discuss material that we find objectionable. We let our son watch James Bond movies, but we talk about how the women are portrayed, and how Bond, in spite of all his charm, is really a promiscuous, lrresponsible sexist.
...I do not think sexism or its counterpart, racism, will Just go away simply
because people do not feel themselves to be
sexists or racists, It requires vigilance and activism to rid our societ5r ofall the sexist and racist rernnants so commonplace we fail even to see them or be aware ofthelr inlluence on us and our children.
Ftom Moggi EU,iott
NVV):
I certainly consider myself a feminist
homeschooler. That's one of the important reasons my kids aren't in school. At home, the kids can try their hands at anythlng theyVe a mind to, They're away from the naJty httle games of gi?ls agairist boys and
all the oneupmanship that implies. Sexism is so pervasive in the rural area in
which we live that we have to exude a positively positive force against it Just to stav - in neutral.
...While we were house guests last month, another man visited for a couple of days. Because my 9-year-old son John's hair is quite long, the man mistook him for a girl. When our confusion rerrealed that the girl was a boy, the man com-
mented on how much he'd enJoyed the frank and direct approach of the 'girl" he was talking to. His opinion was that this girl was quite unusually aggressive, and he was delighted with lmagining what kind of person she would grow up into. That gave me some food for thought. Ena (6) is more reserved than John, but I never attributed that to her gender' Ena is a natural-born feminist: if I reflexively say 'he" about a toy, she reminds me that it's a "she.'All her drawings feature foreground women. She's proud to be female, and that's a lesson to me every day, because I constantly wished to be male as a child. I wonder if kids need to nail down some basic boy-girl STUFF before they strike out from an established nexus. I'm reading The Changing Nature oJ Mannghrt now, by J.H. van den Berg lavailable from us, #2OO, $5.95 + postl, and one ofhis points is that the modern age is just so ;multivalent" that kids have a hard time
establishing an identity. By multivalent he meâ‚Źrns all the incredible vadations we have in the way we do things. A kid can visit ten different friends and see ten different ways of eating, worshipping, keeping house, relating to family, etc. This is bastcally transParent to us adults because we've already made the bulk of our decisions, have a lifestyle, and can handle the diversi$r we face. I read this passage to John and asked him if he found this multivalency confusing, and he said he did. So maybe the magnetic attraction to gender roles is a kind of haven, and as I said we need to let kids drive some stakes into the ground onto which they can cling in the blowing winds of change. F-rcm Sandee Resnirck oJ Ohio:
I have been a feminist for over twent5r years. I guess I've always been one, but there wasn't really a name for it before the late'6Os. I've only been a mother and homeschooler for seven years, so feminism is my natural way and couldn't
Growing Without Schooling #75
posstbly be separated from my motherlng and homeschooltng approaches. What does this mean for homeschoolingf, It really means that my family's
Challenges
& Concerns
.].qir"rrtv rTalking With Children ability,
ovEral outlook on life ts-on! and a basic understanding. that WhO GO TO SChOOI achierrement, and work at home and away Amanda Bergson'Shllcxk (PN from home are not gender based. This is not taught any more than readfurg has been writes: taught tn our home. It ts simply the way we I can really relate to Jeremiah live-our lives. It ls also the eiample thit Gingold's (and-his mom-Pam's) storles of my daughter sees ln the lifestylei of most 'waitlng since he was 5 for ldds his age to fdends ind netghbors 'catch |1." ['Conversali9n ls Harder with Don't get tlie tdea that we live ln an tsolated feitnist haven, because we don't. Other Chtldren,'GWS #741. I llnd that this ts tncredibly the case with my peers - I have We live tn the real world. Mv dauqhter has found that what they think and talk about been growtng up, howwer, fuittt J"ttotrg ls mostly make-up, friend-s, clothes,,parUase of tearntn! through my and my ties, boy,/girlfriends, TV-shows, etc. I have partneCs tnvolvement-tn pbhttcal ind -soctalJustice causes, as well as our struggle found lt next to lmpossible to have a conwith flndtng a place to llve that ls stmple-, versatlon about the llght against-drugs-, or the environment, or even something close natural, atid &mfortable, non-violeni, to home like educadon. with little or no lmpact on our Mother My sister Emily ts taklng a-class at theEarth. She recognlzes, as only a 7 year old can, the tnJustt&s m ttrts world: the pltght local middle school, and she tells stories of the ktds playlng Nintendo behind the of Natlve dmericans, the threat of nucliar teacher's back. I wonder, tf the ldds In that war, the ecologtcal dangers engulffng our class don't take schoolwork seriously, how planet, homophobia, ricism, *re difterences between most people and the Gwwith they can take more lmportant things like world events seriously' But maybe they extraordinary powef and wealth. have other things outside of school that ...Yes, shelikes to play with dolls, and they care more about' to dress up and put on rnalie-up. But all of Friends of mine who go to schml tell these stages of development c-ome and go me about passing notes ln class and the naturally at her speed. Her baslc under-teacher not even notlcing. I always wonder: standtng of social poltdcs ls there and Why doesn't the teacher want to learn how solid. And here ls the lmportant part: as a to teach better so that the kids aren't homeschooler, she's not faced wlth what I bored? And, is it that the kids are sitting in c-onslder the lncredtble contradlcdon class thinking, "l wish I could be out of between what we pracfice at home and .r'hat ls taught and modeled ln schools. here so I could ride my horse," or whatever tr^ -
- do they have something that they want to do? Or are theyJust sitdng there bored with no ldea of what else to do? I think the first way ls probably better because then at least
later in life you have things that you want to do.
I do have friends in ballet class, and I can talk to them about some thtngs, like dance, but not about the hlstory ofdance, for example, and not about things that are going on ln the world. They're already different from most lrdds ln school because they have something outside that they do that's intense and that they care about, but the problem ls that they're so busy, with dance and the three hours of homework that they get, that it's hard for me to see them.
I've explained my homeschooling to them and they understand it pretty well. Once a new glrl came to class, and she asked me what school I went to, and before
I could answer another girl said, 'She homeschools: her mother teachers her but it's not only her mother who teaches her, and she doesn't have a specillc schedule it's really neat." I was glad that she'd really understood what I'd told her about
homeschooling. I know tltat there are homeschoolers who care about some of the things I care
about. I feel like I know some of them through GWS. I liked Anita Giesy's idea of traveling to visit other homeschoolers l"Plans to Travel," GWS #741. I'd like to do that some day.
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