Growing Without Schooling 74 by Patrick Farenga

GROWING WITHOUT SCHOOLING

Solon Sadoway (rlght) ls among those who write about friendship between childrenand adults ln thislssue'sFocus, pages 19-22.

INSIDE THIS ISSUE: News &

Reports p.2-4

Senate Bttl 695, Opposltlon in 8.C., Action Agatnst Mllitary Families ln West Germany, Homeschool Numbers Up tn Arkansas

The Pros and Cons of Formal Iessons p.4-5 Challenges & Concerns p. 5-9 Homeschooling wtth Llttle Money, Single Parent's Arrangements, Reading Difliculties, Crippling PerfecUonism, Homeschooling wlth Young Children

Watchlng Chlldren Learn p. ro-13 Telling Tlme, Worlidng in a Food Co-Op, F)nding OutAbout Computers, Math Phobia, Drawing, Geography

Older Ilomeschoolers p. L4,24-25 Finding an Internship, Plans to Travel, John Holt on Figurlng Out What You Want

Book Revlews p. 15-18 FOCUS: Frlendshlp Between p. t9-22

Chlldren and

Adults

HowAdults Learn

p. 23-24

Resources & Recommendatlons p. 26-2a

Addttlons to Dlrectory, Pen-Pals p.2a-29

Can children and adults be friends? What are those fdendstrlps like? How do children..lftnd adult filends outslde their famllles? These are the questions we asked several people to write about for the Focus of this issue of GWS. We asked young people to write about their friendships with adults, and we asked adults to write about their frlendshlps wlth children or about friendships with adults that they remember from their own childhoods. The responses we received are strildng ln one particular regard: ftendship between children and adults seems to be much easler now than tt used to be. Of the three adults who responded to our question, two emphasized their memories of belng excluded from adult life. They wrote about feeling that adult-child friendshtp was lmposslble or at least dfficult. The chtldren, on the other hand, were unanimous tn thelr belief that friendship with adults was possible, natural, and important. 'It never seemed like a big deal,'wrote Lluvia Crockett of the various friendships she has had with adults. 'I don't think it matters what age best lilends are,' Meredith Conroy wrote, providing clear tesUmony that she doesn't suffer from those feelings of excluslon. The children tended to agree that friendshtps with adults were often dtlferent from friendshlps with other children, but from thelr letters lt sounds as though those differences only serve to make things richer and more interesting. If it doesn't matter what age best friends are, a child certainly has a greater range of possible filends to choose from than we have traditionally imaglned. I suspect it's safe to say that the ctrlldren who wrote for this issue of GWS have more experience with adult friendship - more good experience, ln particular - than the general populatlon of chlldren. What they say reminds us of how important such experience - or, at least, the opportunity for such experience is to young people. It suggests that tnstead of being socially deprtved, many homeschoolers have access to a valuable kind of soctal experience that we ought to try to make available to all young people. Afewyears ago I attended a teenagers'discussion at a homeschooling conference (adults were allowed to observe but not participate). Talking about how she liked havlng filends who were older than she was, one gtrl sald, "\Mhywould we want to be only with people our age? We need more than people who have the same problems we have; we need people who can tell us how they solved those problems." Having older friends - at any stage of life - can help us see that the way things are now isn't the way they are always going to be, and, as this teenager observed, sometimes that's Just what we need to know. Young people don't want to be told, "These are the best years of your life.'They want to be told - or, even more lmportant, shown - by the adults around them, 'Those years are good, but lt gets even better, so keep on corntng.' Ifyoung people can be around adults who glve them the feeling that adulthood ls worth stlcklng around for, that it ls a time of more possibility rather than less, they will feel better about what lles ahead for them. Parents can do this for thetr children. of course. Friendships with other adults simply add to a child's sense of what is Susannah Sheffer avallable and possible.

replacâ‚Źment parts for you to install yourself or repair the ultrasc,ope for you at

theA expense, whicherrer you choose.

karning Things, Inc., 68A Broadway,

Arlington MA 02174.

As we said in GWS #73, our subscription rates will lncrease on June I, 1990.

The new rates will be $25 for one year, $45 for two years, $6O for three years (see page

for the new group rates). You have until May 31, l99O to re-new or extend your subscripdon (or to give a gtft to someone else) at tjle current rates ($2O,/ I y, $36/2 yrs, $48/3 yrs), so do take advantage of that opportunity. We thank those of you who have already renewed, and thankyou for the klnd words that so many of you have sent along as well.

NEWS & REPORTS Worldng wlth a baby fn arms: Pat Farerqga holds 6-month-old Altson Farcr4la te our ofBce,

OFFICE NEWS & ANNOUNCEMENTS [SS:l We've becn dotng some lnteresting traveling these days, and it looks as lf there's more to c.ome. In Februarv I visited Toronto homeschooler Jutta Maion and her famtly, and saw the Indoor Park (a

communlt5r spa.c'e for homeschoolers) that she descrlbed tn GWS #68, and then spoke to a small group at the educadon facult5r of Queen's Untverslt5r fui Klngston, Ontarlo. ,Also tn !'ebruary, I met with a g5oup of homeschoolers tn Portland, Malne, at a gathertng organized by Eileen Yoder and

Talk Abut lzdrn@ editor Earl Stevens. In March I spoke to an education class at

Wesleyan Universit5r

Connectlcut,

ya!

Middletown,

Speakfurg to the two unlversity groups

very lnterestlng and encouraging. At both places, people seemed qutte interested in and recepdve to our ideas. As you can see from the listings ln our

well as to homeschool proponents. "I was

SENATE BILL 695 During tlle week of Februaqr Sth our phones were busywtth confused and upset homeschoolers calllng from all over the nation regardtng Senate Blll 695, the

'Excellence in Educadon Act.' Fears about the btll were based on the misinformation that Senator Dodd (D-Connecdcut) was planning to propose an amendment requiring certiflcatlon of homeschoolers. Ttris was not true. We were easlly able to contact Joan Hogan, Senator Dodd's education aide in D.C., to clari$ matters. The bill never menfloned homeschoollng. It does give the Natlonal Board of Professlonal Teaching

Standards $25 millton to grant to universlties to study certlllcatlon requirements. Any resuldng recommendadons would be voluntary - the federal government cannot compel states to certtS teachers. On Februar5r 6th Senator Dodd and Senator Ford (D-Kentucky) held a colloquy to clariry that the bill had no bearing

on homeschooling. Nerrertheless, Senator Dodd was contacted by the Home School I-egal Defense Assoclation during this

Calendar secdon, Pat Farenga will be speaking at the Clonlara conference in Toledo tn May, and at the Washington Homeschool Organization conference ln Tacoma in June. Pat will also be at a

panic and, working wlth Senator Helms (R-North Carolina), agreed to insert the phrase: "Nothing tn thls act shall be mnstrued to infringe upon the pracdces and accreditatlon of home school teaching and private school teachinS." The bill passed with this phrase on 2/7 / 90 ln a 92-8 vote. We regret that so many people were

these days, too: the Sunday magazine section of the fustonHerad ran a long piece

needlessly worrled and upset, and suggest

Modern l-angu.age Associadon literacy conference tn Ptttsburgh tre Septembei. WeVe had some nlce exposure in prtnt

about homeschooling, and ?tre Prqressftr plans to publish an esszry that I wrote about Tiacy Kldder's Anang School-

ch6ren- (Have any GWS readers read the book? It's gotten so much publlclty that I expect some of you have.) I don't know in which issue the essay wtll appear - tt may be out by the fl.me yo-u're r."d'i.rg this lssie ofGWS. We've gotten two or three letters protesting both the spirit and the fact of the $ossy paper on which GWS #73 was printed. In case others ofyou were unhappy wtth the new paper, let me reassure

you that we dtdn't choose it the printer ran out ofour usual paper and substituted the glossy paper at the last minute without consultlng us. Asyou can see, we're back to our usual paper with this issue. A note from Ftichard Ohanian, the president of karntng Things, Inc., the oompany that manufactures the ultrascopes that we sell, says that they have Just leamed that some of their microscopes were assembled with defecdve thumb nuts (focus wheels). Ifyou've gotten one of the deGctlve ultrascopes, crontact

Learning Things directly, rather than wridng to us. They wtll etther send you

to weryone that we can learn from this experience: next time such a rumor flies, let's go straight to the source for the facts rather than Just calling one another.

HOMESCHOOL NUMBERS UP IN ARKANSAS Reporters antd. reseorchers are alwags ttterested to know lww nung homeschoolers tlere are, so uE W to print lrr,al

figures tuhenerpr theg arc

ansailable. Here are someJrom the Febnwy 199O issrrc oJ Update, the rewsletter o,f the ARKANSAS CFIRISTXAN

HOME EDUCA?TON ASSO.

CIATION: Homeschool enrollment in Arkansas has almost doubled in the last lifteen months. Arkansas Department of Educatlon statistics announced last month lndicate that the total number of homeschool children ln the state ls now at 260O. The last time a homeschool enrollment figpre was announced was lifteen months earlier - ln October of 1988 - when the total was listed at l4OO students. Ttre new ligure, whtch represents an 86 percent lncrease, was a surprise to ollicials in the state education office. as

expecttng the ffgure to be between ISOO and 2OOO thls school year,' satd Dr. Lynda

Hawkins, the Department of Educadon's homeschool program support manager. 'I had no ldea the lncrease would be so

dramatic." Tom Holtman, a member of the Board of Dlrectors of the Arkansas Christlan Home Educaflon Assoclaflon, had thought the ffggre would be "around 2OOO." "We knew the enrollment was on the rlse becauseweVe had so many more lnquirles through the AssoclaUon about getttng lnto homeschooling,' satd Holi-

man. 'But the new ffgures were much, much more than we had dreamed of. It means our plans to provlde helpful materlals for new and prospecdve homeschoolers are Hmely.'

OPPOSITION IN BRITISH COLT]MBIA StephanleJudA (BC) sentvs acopg oJ

Jaruaty l99O issue oJHome Education News, a reusletter put out by la neschrcIthe

ers irr Brdtish C,ohlrtblo" tt which an article abut tte B.C. Teaclers Federation's position on homescltrcIhg uas

reprinted huln that afticb:

The B.C. Teachers Federatlon ls opposed to the concept ofhomeschoollng because lt believes it deprives students of pardcipation in society. "Yes, we are opposed because it can't accâ‚Źmodate what we conslder are the rnajor requirements of

school," BCTF communications olllcer Elaine Decker said last week. "As teachers, we have two responses. We feel school ls supposed to develop the tndtvidual and their collecdve capaclty to work as pardctpating citizens. Home- . schooling can't do that. Homeschooling is

an oxymoron,' she said. 'You aren't learning to participa.te as a citizen ln a democratic society when you're taught in

lsolatlon.'...

Stephanie conunents: Ttrls has rather shocked everyone around here since B.C. has always had a rather open approach to home education (mostly out of necessit5r, because so many people llve tn extremely tsolated places). Just this year the province has made the

flrst legfsladve move -

homeschooled

students are now requAed to be reglstered with an approved school. ('Regtstered' mears that the school has the student's name and age - that is all.) The school then gets a percentage of tts per caplta student gpant for each homeschooled sfudent regtstercd, and in exchange must provide textbooks, testing, and such that the students' parents request. The penalt5r for not reglstering? Uncertatn. Unregistered

GROWING WITHOTTT SCHOOLING #74

3 students are supposed to be r€ported to the Ministry of Human Resources (welfare and social seMces). Needless to say, many parents r€gister and ask for nothlng - just comply with the law. Stephanie also sent us a copg oJ slre senl to Elate Decker. An excerpt:.

btter

tle

the headline -Augsburg NVest Gernanyl takes actbn agafust trr:,meschoolhg o-f childrer" Ftom tle article: Families in the Augsburg communit5r who teach thelr children at home must enroll them in recogplzed schools Mthin a week or face disciplinary action. The decree, issued by the Army cnmmunlt5r commander, MaJ. Gen. l.outs

that many of the people who bullt thls nation were educated in a ldnd of lsolaflon almost ... You know, of course,

unheard of today. My grandfather w.ur zr,s knowledegable and responslble a cltizen as IVe ever known. It was insplrlng and educational Just to watch him live his life. He nwerwent to school. He was educated by his mother, on a homestead... I'm certain you didn't intend your comment as an insult to individuals educated in slmilar circumstances, nor to those educated "in isolation' because of disabilities (Helen

Keller, for example). Some biographlcal data - readily available in any librarJr - mtght be helpful to your BCTF colleagues in ggidlng future public statements. A wonderful place to begin is with the life of Abraham Llncoln. Now there's a case of isolation - less than one year of formal educadon - but he still turned out to be a prett5l decent citlzen, wouldn't you agree? Clos€r to home, you might read about the education of Alexander Mackenzie, respected for his noble and honest vision of Canadian democracy... Of corlrse, there's amother angle to

this entirely. I'm curious to know how the BCTF defines 'isolation- and what percentage of home educated children you

consider to lit this definition. Unfortunately, I have no research resources I can share with you on thls topic. However, I can tell you that my own home educated child is far from isolated. Flrst of all, she has a carlng parent - and often two of them - within easy reach all the time she is at home. Our teacher/student ratio here is 2: l. However, we count it a posidve triumph if we get two unlnterrupted days at home per week. In addition to weekly ballet classes, art classes. downhill ski lessons, Friday aftemoon skating, Friends Meetlng, and our neighborhood singing societ5r, there are hvice-weekly gettogethers with other families to work on group projects, not to mention the ordinary round ofbtrthday parties, concerts, fairs, picnics, Halloween, Martlnmas, Christmas, Valendne's parties, and all the rest. ... My impression ls that home educated children are more completely integrated lnto their communities and into society as a whole than is possible for children who are ln school five davs a week. I am awed by the immen"e tisk schools face in this regard - the constant need to cut through the enormous social lsolation of the classroom ln order to help students comprehend the non-school communi$r and to feel welcome and

significant there...

ACTION AGAINST MILITARY FANdILIES IN WEST GERMANY *tnral reders harre sent us an artlcb Jrom tle 11 / 17 / 89 issr.re o1[Stars

and Stripes, an armg neuspaper, tl:rrt hrrs

J. Del Rosso, runs counter to homeschoollng pollcies tn military communldes throughout Europe. It wtll affect at least a dozen famtlies, some of whom say they will send children back to the Untted States rather than comply. The policy ls lntended to lnform parents of their obligatlon under West German law to send thelr chlldren to accredited schools, said Michael R Harris, the head of recreational services tn Augsburg. The policy, dated Nov. 6, was prompted by reports ofChrlstian schools operating unollicially on post and of parents teachlng their children at home, he said. ...Communit5r olllclals have found no homeschooling par€nts who are teaching

their children inappropriately, lHanisl said.

A later article says tlro:t horrTescllml'

trg Jarnilies tfuouglaut West Gerrnartg lawrc|ed a letter-wrltlng canpatgn agahst the Augsburg ban" and a

LOCAL NEWS

For arldresses oJ state ond lftal groups, see GWS *72 or ow HomeschrcI' btg Resource Ust, avallable Jor $2.5O, Iowa: "Odds are against passage of

any bill dealing with home school issues this session,' Ed Dickerson wrote in the Februaqr issue of the IOWA HOME EDUCATORS ASSOCIATION Nelus. He goes on

to sav that homeschoolers in Iowa must conti-nue to address lawmakers'and the Department of Educatlon's concem about the need for certilicatlon and/or testing ol homeschoolers. He says,

'ln

the absence ol

certilication, legislators look to test scores for assurance that homeschooled children receive a quality education. Fortunately for us, H.D. Hoover, director of the lowa Basic Skills Testing Program, declares such use of tests inappropriate: 'l wish we could get the message across that the primary purpose of tests like these is not to compare lone cityl with lanotherl, c any other school in lowa with any other.. Likewise, the primary purpose is not to compcrre this boy, your son, with any other kids.'" [GWS note: Have any other state groups been able to use what test companies say about the purpose of tests to oppose mandatory testing of homeschoolers?l Ncw York: Theresa Morris of the NEW YORK CITY HOME EDUCATORS ALLLANCE writes: "The situation here

New York City is improving slowly. Although many school districts and most local school boards are still not aware that home education is legal in New York, I was recently successful in organizing a meeting between the State Eclucation Dept. and the City Board ofEducation. Several

GROWING WITFIOT.]T SCHOOLING #74

meeting and learned about the rudlments ofhome educadon.'Theresa adds that shc has written a booklet about home educatlon for'professional educatlon personnel' which she wtll make avallable at cost.

North Dalota: The Department of Public Instrucdon requested the Attomey General's oplnlon on three homeschool lssues, accordlng to the January,/February lssue of the NORITI DAKOTA HOME SCHOOL ASSOCIATION newsletter. The three lssues were the number of hours of supervlslon requtred for each student per week lone of the ways to homeschool in North Dakota ts to be supervisd bY a crrtifled teacherl; tf a certlfled parent may cutinue to seek approval as a Private school; and whether a guardian or other person may qualiff as a panent. The Attorney General ruled that supervision is to be an average ofone hour a week for each homeschooled child; that private schools with sin$e family enrollment should come under the provisions of the home school law, and do not quali$ as private schools; and that only parents qualiff as homeschoolers under the law, not guardlans. The NDHSA opposes the flrst two rulings, according to their newsletter.

Pcnneylvania: The first due process

rwte Jrom

homeschooler wla sent us the articles sags that tte poLicg uras resciruCed unJil the comrnander could. decide how 'alternathse edrrcation" could fu regulated-

distrlct representatives attended thls

hearing under the new homeschooling law was held on November 16, according to the Winter issue of Perutsgluania Homeschool,ers. The Dallas district superintendent had claimed that the family in question had not provlded sufficient documentation as required by the law. The hearing ollicer ruled that this w€ui so but that the documentation the family now provided at the hearing tndicated that the homeschooling program tuas in compliance with the law.

CALENDAR May l8-2O. 199O: Clonlara Home Based Education Program Sixth Annual Conference at the SeaGate Convention Center, Toledo, Ohio. Pat Farenga will be speaking. For information: Clonlara HBEP, Conference Dept, 1289 Jewett S| Ann Arbor MI 4a lO4: 5 17-548- IO 16. June 8-lO: Washing;ton Homeschool Organization State Convention at the University of Puget Sound, Tacoma, Washington. Pat Farenga rvill be speaking For information: Craig and Carolyn Kunard, lOO29 48th Av, Everett WA 982O4; 206'44A-0574. June 15-16: Family karning Fair Sponsored by the Family Irarning Organization, PO Box 7256, Spokane, WA 992O7-O2ffi. Workshops for parents and children, exhibitions, talent program, GROWING WITHOUT SCHOOLING *74, Yol. 13 No. 2. ISSN #0745-5305. Published bimonthly by Holt Associats, 2269 Massachus€tts Avenue,

Cambridgc MAO2l4O.$2O/yr.Date of Isue: April l, 1990. Second-class postage pald at Boston, MA. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to GWS, 2269 Massachusetts Avenue. Cambridge MA 02140. AfTVERTISERS: D,eadlines are the lSth of odd-

numbered montlts. Contact Patrick Farenga for rates.

4 commercial displays. For lnformation:

rc9-467-2552 or contact FLO at the above address. We are happy to print noilces of major homeschooling and related events, but we need plenty of notice. Deadline for GWS #75 (events ln July or later) ts May lO. Deadllne for GWS #76 (errents tn September or later) ts July lO.

HOW TO FIND OUT ABOUT LAWS AND REGULATIONS Hcrc ffi some wa1ls you can ffnd out the legal sltuation ln your state. 1) Look up the law yourself, ln a publtc librar5r or law libra4r (courthousc, law school, etc.) Laws are indexed; try'school attendance'or 'education. compulsory.' l9 states have reviscd their hone cducadon laws slncc 1982 so check the recent statute charrges. We have printed or summarlzed these new laws ln ourback lssues. 2) Ask the state department of educadon for any laws or rcguladons pertaining to homeschooling and/or startlng a prlvatc school. In somc states (particularly CA. IL, lN, Kn therc are fcw regulatlons concernlng prlvatc schools md so you can call your homc a school. lfyou are concerned about reveallng your name and address to the state, do this through a friend. 3) Contact state or local homeschooling g5oups. This list was last printed ln GWS #72, and is updated and sold separately for $2.5O as

part of our'Homeschooling Rcsource Llst.' Some groups have prepared handbooks or guidelines on legal matters. Often, these groups can tcll you rnore about the legal climate in a state than anyone clse can - whethcr new leglslatton ts pendb:rg, for example, and how the present law is belngenforced. 4) Contact otler families listed tn our Directory. This is particularly useful lf you live tn a state that leaves homcschooli4g dcclslons up to tndividual school districts. When you contact these families, help them by having done some research on your own first. 5) In general, it ls not wis€ to start by asking your local school dlstrlct; they usually don't know the law either. Better to gather the facts lirst on your own. 6) Don't assume that somethlng is required Justbecause sorneone tellslou it ls. (For example, a school district may tell you that testing ls required ofhomeschoolers when the law states that testing is only one of the altematives available.) Flnd out foryourselfwhat the law or regulaton does md does not say.

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TAKING A SATELLITB COURSE: THE PROS AND CONS OF FORMAL LESSONS tastJdI, Katletue MAlpbE

(ME)

u)rote:

Well, the McAlptne famtly has dectded to try school. We aren't dolng thts, I hasten to say, by the conventlonal route but via a friend's satelltte dtsh. whtch beams us Iatln classes three times a week from a high school in Rlchmond, Virgfnia. The show ls a Vlld feed," which in satelItte lingo means not part of regularly scheduled progfamming, and appears on a non-subscripdon statlon. Nathantel and I were excited to learn about lt because we have often wished to hear l.attn spoken by someone other than ourselves. For my own part, I ffnd my dual role as both lnstructor and fellow student a rather complicated one someumes, and lfs a nice luxury to let someone els€ take over the teachlng for a btt, whtle I stt back and Just learn. As an added bonus, the class ls using the same Ecce Romoni series that we Iike so much, so we alreadv have all the books and are farniliar wi[h the format. We tape the prog;ams so we can watch at our own convenience and proceed at our own pace. Most of the dme we disregard the teacher's lnstructions about homework asslgnments and Just conc€ntrate on the content ofthe lessons. Each lesson oontains enough repetition and review that we can easily keep up wtthout doing the homework. When a qutz ls given we

answer the questlons orally or mentally instead ofon paper, and feel under no pressure since nobody's Judgtng or grading us. Ms. Tate doesn't even know that we're taking her class, let alone that we're eating popcorn during class and putting the boring parts on fast forward. The classes ar€ not totally wonderful; they are designed, after all, for public school consumption. We get very frustrated when, as frequently happens, the teacher spends half or more of the lesson time telling us what we should have been

studying, what we should expect to be stud)nng, and what types of study sldlls we should be ustng; whatwe should be enterlng ln our notebooks, how we should organize those notes, and how we should go about memorlzing the material tn the notes; what the next quiz will consist of and whywe must make sure, on this quiz, to avoid the same klnds of mistakes that so many of us made on the last one - typical school stuff. I notlce myself struggling, at such tlmes, not to drlft lnto a "space out" mode and thereby mlss something I really do want to learn. I can see

Nathanlel's attention wanderlng too. After a few such classes, though, we

think we've got Ms. Tate's number. WeVe learned to anticlpate from her vocal tone, her facial expression and body language, exactly when she's about to launch into a harangue. Thanks to modern technologr, we can simply skip over those parts and spend all our Ume on content. The negative aspects of school are diminished by our freedom to use the instruction in our own way, for our own purpose. And the negative potendal of television (passive viewing) is diminished

by the fact that we have to make an active effort - ar:rangtng to tape the progra.ms and then vlew them on our friend's machine much as we would lf we were talidng a formal course somewhere. In addition, Nathantel ts gettlng a taste of what classroom learnlng ts llke, without the bother of actually attendlng school, and I think this awareness could be useful to him in the future, should he ever want to take any

tradtttonally structured courses.

Yet another value comes to mind. Nathaniel has always been fiercely perfectlonlst, and ha"s a tendency to get very angry and lmpaflent wtth htmself if he can't master somethtng as quickly as he thinks he should. Although IVe told him, time and tlme agatn, that trtal and error are part of weryone's learnneg process, it seems not to have sunk ln; maybe he Glt I was Just telltng htm that to make him feel better. Now, \yatchtng this program, he can see for hlmself that other kids, kids older than he, often forget things and make mistakes ln an e{fort to learn La.tin. I$SJ In mg replg tD Katherine,

wrote:

I thdnk it's probably good that you're taking the l-a.dn class vla satellite q.fter quite a lot of work on your own, so that thls lsn't your llrst lntroduction'to Latin and you have a better sense ofwhat you need from the teacher, and what you don't need.

Dtd Nathantel read, or did you read to htm, the other storles (besides his own) in the Focus secHon on when learning is fmstrating tn GWS #71? I would think that tt, like seeing the Latin students, would help hlm to see that everyone struggles as part of mastering something.

Katherite respond.e* Yes, I thlnk lt makes all the difference in the world that Nathaniel had two years of 'messingl around" with Latin prior to

more formally organlzed instmctton. It's lnterestlng how he approaches these classes as somethlng he deflnitely wants rtght now, but also asJust one more way (as opposed to the rvay) of getting what he wants to learn. Out of the blue, he's extremely fasclnated with all the intricacies of Lattn grarrunar and actually enjoys reclting declenslons and prlnciple parts along wlth the class, something I nwer asked him to do. The sltuatlon may be slmilar to a tlme when, after serreral years of Suzuld vtolin, he suddenly lnslsted on leaming to

read muslc and became obsessed, for a whtle, with all tts techntcal aspects. I think there oomes a natural point in the learnlng process, when we are learning somethlng we love, when the mind says, 'OK, I feel at home with this. Now let's lind out what the structure is, how it all fits together, what the mechanics are.- Certainly one doesn't need classes or teachers to get this stuff. Schools, in fact, seldom let the necessary falling in love occun lnstead, they start out beating us over the head wtth structure and mechanics until

GROWING WITHOTIT SCHOOLING #74

we run ln terror. These Latln classes happened along at preclsely the polnt when

Nathaniel was ready to organlze, in an analydcal way, what he already knew about LatLr, and I thlnk thts has much to do with their appeal for hlm. But I also think that he can take what he needs from the course, as long as lt can offer hlm somethlng, secure ln the knowledge that lattn ls ah'eady h{s. Re seetng other Ldds make mlstakes: I've wondercd lf tt was actualbr seefrg this, as opposd to Just heartng about lt, that made the dllference. Another very likely possibtltgr ls that readtng those letters in GWS started some wheels turntng, which seelng the lidds tn class ldnd of dramatlzed and conflrmed. And Jrom

Later letten

We've decided to drop the satellite course, havlng agreed that our own haphaz-ard study methods arre a lot more pleasant and producdve. WeVe been watching with growlng dlsmay as more and more class time ls devoted to nocontent stulf. The last straw came when

practtcally all the lnstruction time began focusing on preparation for the Natlonal Latin E:<ams. My cynlclsm about school

returned in full force as I watched the teacher show examples of the comprehenslon secdon of the test and explatn why following the test strategf ('Ftead the paragraph below and then answer the followlng quesUons') was nota good strategr for scortng well. She advtsed, tnstead, gotng straight to the questlons, loohng for a clue word like 'why,'and then qutckly scannlxg the Latin paragraph for a correspondfurg clue word hke 'quod.' Of course this is a better strategr for answering as many quesdons as possible in the allotted time, and as long as her students have to take thls exam, I suppose she ls doing them a servlce of sorts. It's a waste of our time, thougfr, slnce our purpose ls to learn latin and not whiz through test questlons as fast as we can. Even Nathaniel began

salng platntlvely,

"Gee, they nerrer read the Ecce Romrril storles anymore. And it's been weeks slnce we learned any new

verbs.' So we're back to dotng Latin stretched out ln front of our own hearth.

CHALLENGES & CONCERNS HOMESCHOOLING WITH LITTLE MONEY Kothg Pwdg fNYJ rurites:

I haven t errcn flnlshed readng GWS #73 yet, but I feel I must comment on the lmpact Ront Laltberte l'Struggltng as a Stn$e Parent'l describes her llnanctal sltuatlon as havtng on her ability to homeschool. I am not a stn$e parent, but the large slze of our family (stx children) has placed us tn nearly the same situadon. I have gone through many of the same doubts and concems, I wonder how I can be helptng my childrâ‚Źn educate themselves when I can't afford to buy them books they're interested in, art suppltes for thetr proJects, lessons in music or whatever else they'r. lnterested ln. I drcol over the rnallorder catalogs full of hands-on learnfng equlpment, tools, books, and tapes. I know what it's like to say, 'No, we can't.' Yet I would like to point out that it's prectsely because we're surrounded by such abundant riches that it's possible to feel thts way. Certainly relative poverty Iimits our children's ability to enjoy certaln experiences, but ltJust as certainly allows them experiences others do not have. Ifthe children are loved, as they seem to be in Roni's case, then it is clear to them that happiness doesn't come from a surfeit of possessions. If they can't buy entertalnment, they appreciate more the

entertainment they make fior themselves. Roni wonders what her children have leamed about potency and problemsolvlng; I'd say watchlng a mother continue to seek solutlons to her flnancial problems has taught them plengr about perseverErnce in the face of adversity. When I start to fret about the educational opportunltles my chlldren are rnissirig, I like to thlnk about l-aura Ingalls Wilder. We have been reading her books out loud and I am condnually amazed at the hardshlps she and her famtly endured and the pleasure they found ln such simple things. B5r today's standards Laura was certainly 'economically disadvantaged," yet she went on to write an awand-winnlng serles of books for children that many adults have enJoyed as well. When you stop to think of tt, many successful people began their lives in poverty - Abraham Lincoln comes to mind, and the countless people who grew up ln the Depression. Who says that my children won't make thelr own slgniflcant contdbudon, especially when they have had much greater opportunity to develop their lmaglnation than most

chtldren ln school? I don't want for a minute to belittle

Ront's struggles. But I do want to encourage her that lf she ts provtdtng a warm and

suppordve environment for her chlldren, mallng the most of the resources that are avallable to her, the most tmportant part of homeschooltng has been achleved: equtpplng her chlldren to teach themselves wtth whatever materlals and experlences are available to them. I would like to hear how other relatively poor homeschoolers rnanage to

GROWING WITHOI..N SCHOOLING #74

bring diversttSr lnto their lives. There are people tn my homeschooling mmmunity

who have shard books, rides to the zoo, and newsletterc with me. I have relatlves who make glfts of homeschooling supplies of one klnd or another. We can't go to mncrrts ln person, but we llsten to our publtc radto statlon qulte a btL And don't beltttle the ltbrary - ours ls quite small, but we can request any book we want from

a four-county tnterlibrary loan system.

I've rec.ently thought of lnvittng people to our home to tell us about thelr work, lnvtttng foretgp graduate students from the local unlverslty to dlnner, and wridng letters to cnmpanies or tndivlduals who I thlnk can answer quesdons we have. I would also like to call Ronl's attenuon to some of what has already been written on the subJect. In GWS #5, p.2, a wornan dlscusses tJle problems lnherent tn attempttng to 'sdmulate" her children and concludes, -The on$world I can show them, with any tntegflty, is my world." In cWS #27, pp. t I - 12, a mother descrlbes the extremely dillicult ctrcumstances under which she was homeschoollng her children. And 7n TeachYour Otun John Holt derrotes a section ofchapter three to "Unschoollng and the Single Parent." I hope that between what I have written and what others have said Ronl wtll gatn fresh courage and will ffnd a way to structure her family life ln a uray that is consistent with her values.

SINGLE PARENT'S ARRANGEMENTS A gear ago, Ltsrr Spector (CIJ usrote: I'm a single parent and full-time student (becomtng a certiffed rnassage therapist). My class time comes to approxtmately twenty hours per week, during which time I have my daug;hter in daycare. I resisted this until she was almost 4, stalng home full-time with her. But ln order to support us I had to do something to get a payfng careâ‚Źr going. The daycare ls a lovtng one, but most of the time she's there, she's wlth I and 2 year olds, and she ts gettlng bored. I'm now looktng for a preschool. Havtng worked ln both daycare and preschool settings, I'm well aware of thelr shortcomings. My consolatlon ts that my school ls only a one-year program, and after I graduate I'll work, I hope at home most of the time, maybe somedmes outside the home as well. My concern is to llnd the best care for my daughter when I'm not at home. ISSI

I replted" in part:

I sympathlze wtth the challenges of your present sltuation. You might look at the stories weVe prlnted ln GltrS about chtldren ln the workplace - these often show parents Juggltng different ktnds of arrangements,,, It !s good that you can look ahead to a time when you won't have to use daycare. It must help to be able to look upon this situation as temporiary. It sounds as though by the dme you're worklng as a rrrassage therapist, you'll be able to have

6 your daughter wtth you most of the time. In the meantime, ls there any way that sht can come to classes with you sometirnes? Perhaps,thls ls strtctly forbtdden; perhaps you think tt would be too tedlous ldr her.Do you have any babysttters you tnrst? Sometlmes brlndng a babysttter to your workplace helps - that is, tf the babysitter can be with your daughter tn the general area ofyour school (I don't know tf tfs a campus orJust a butlding), you would still be close by and if your daughter really needed or wanted to see you for a mteute, she could.

Also, have you looked lnto the possibility of llndtng other adults who would be willtng to spend ttme with your daug;hter because they genulnely like her and want to do lt? Of course, you want a babysitter to flt thts descripflon, too, but I'm talking about something a blt more informal. We've wrltten tn GWS that often people without chlldren are deltghted to have the chance to spend time with someone else's. If you thturk about all the various people lr your lives, you may be able to come up with someone who would welcome this opportunity, and who could then be wlth your daughter some of the time. Perhaps you could oller to trade a sldll or a favor for this. Other homeschoolers ln the area are a good resource, too, although thslg agarn you would probably want to olfer something tn exchange. Older homeschooling children in the area mtght also like to spend some time with your daughter. If y-ou found someone old enough for you to

feel comfortable wtth the arrangement, this rnight be another posstbiltty. Slnce your class time only comes to twentSr hours a week (which I know must feel like a lot, but lt's better than having to work forty hours), you're dealing with a manageable amount of tlme, I think, time that could be shared by a vartety of people and arrangements. And you could, perhaps, be able to return the favor for some people durlng some of the other hours (l'm thlnktng of something along the Ilnes of, 'You be wtth the klds on T\resday, I'll be wtth them on Thursday" that sort of arrangement wtth someone else who also has children. If you flnd someone who doesn't have children, you could, as I sald, barter other kinds of favors.) Asyourdaughtergets older, and as your own schedule becomes more flexible, It seems to me that several other optlons will become avallable to you. We can talk more about this when the time comes. In the meantime, take comfort in the fact that your curr€nt sltuadon ls not perma-

nent, and stretch your trnaginatlon to see what ldnds of resourccs might be avatlable to you right now.

Reenflg, llsa wrote: A year ago I couldn't see how to

homeschool my daughter. Your letter.;blt so good to me. I have used two of your ldeas since then: I barter for childcare flme and a l5-year-old local homeschooler and his mother also help. IVe also found a 12year-old treasure who babysits, and I adore her. I'm now looktng for folks who could use a chtld-frtend. I'll tell you about some of the arrange-

ments I was able to work out thls past year. Iast sununer I uras taking two classes at rny massage school and urorking twothree days a week for a chiropractor. A frtend and fellow homeschooler took care of Danica for me on my worldng days along with her 6-year-old daugfrter, Autumn. She had responded to an announcement that I put in the Connecdcut Home Educators newsletter saying I was looktng to barter or pa,y for chlld care. I ended up gtvlng her a ltttle pay and when I was totally strapped I gave her massage ,ur barter. This was OK for her and more than perfect for us. We tried livlng h a house with another farnily, but that dldn't work due to huge dtfferences ln our vlews about chlldren. I thought we had dlscussed everythtng, but the ffrst thtng the woman dld, one day after movlng ln, was spank Danica - that uras lt for mel We moved back to ltvtng by ourselves. Then a college shrdent agreed to trade a room in our place fior llfteen hours of sitflng a week. We got along very well, but then she dropped out ofcollege and moved

back to her family home. I took a term offfrom school to regroup and to glve Danica and myself the attention I thought we needed after the

constant changes of the past year. While I worked, during the fall, ffust a Gw hours a week), I used sitters. I found a most wonderful 12 year old through an ad the local Juntor high ran for me ln their newsletter. I conslder th,is girl a real friend of Danlca's and mine. She's very bright, respon-

sible, and helpful. In Janua5r of '9O I returned to complete my massage tratntng. I'm talidng two 3 l/2-hour courses, both ofwhich are held at nlght. My slster took Danica for the flrst few Mondays and now a sitter takes her, and the 12yearold vratches heron T\resday.

Flnally, I work on Wednesdays, and a local homeschooltng famfly - the mother and son I mendoned at the beginning of thls letter - are with Danica for sweral hours. I met them at homeschool funcflons. They are wonderful with her - they read to her, do crafts, and include her tn thelr activities. A couple of tlmes there were great excursions with other homeschoolers, too.

I've paid this homeschooling mother

one or two times, offered her massage whlch she has yet to cash ln on, brought fruit, a cake I made, and other things like that. She's left it up to me to gfve what I can - another gift from the communit5r.

read was a focal polnt. Consequently, he has convlnc'ed himself that he will not be able to read and wlll never be able to. We are worklng on thls negadve atdtude and are maklng progress. Fortunately, he has decided that the children who made fun ol hlm are not his frlends, and he has

worked at finding other frlends. This has really helped his self-esteem. He ls easily frustrated, and an apt analogr ls a thermometer on a hot day. Hc gets upset, tlghtens hls whole body, holds hrls breath, and the color rlses ln hls face, He also glves up easlly, often at the llrst slgn of a dtlffculty, so I have to make errerlrthlng we do as simple and easy as

posslble. He trles very hard to learn phonics and whole words but he is usuallv unable to recognlze a word after a few s&onds, erren after repeated exposure to it. He ls easily dtstr:acted. Often, when gfven a request such as to get dressed, he will get distracted and I will lind him playlng with a balloon instead of gettlng dressed. He cannot tolerate much nolse or even someone speaktng to him when he is

doing something dtfllcult.

He reverses letters and numbers, both when writlng them and when reading them. Hls lnterpretatlon of what ls satd to htm ls often lnaccurate. Although he has good language slidlls and a good vocabuIary, he mlspronounces some words even after heartng them correctly. I had wondered for years why Chris had problems, fearing that he might be retarded although he seemed bright. t ^"t year I met a man whose son had just been dtagnosed as dysle:dc. The father then wa^.. tested and dtagnosed as dyslexic as well. I asked about symptoms, and the ones he descrlbed were very close to what Chris

exhibtted. I started lnvesdgating dysleda and learntng disabilitles ln general. I havc read wery book on the subJect that I could get tfuough our libraqr system, as well as magazlne artlcles. I have lnvestigated professional help in the area and found it to be extremely expenslve and of course geared to children who ar€ ln school. I als<, quesdon lts ellectlveness, based on what I have read and what I have been told by other people, In my reading, I found much

conflicting information along with a few

ideas that I found helpful. My purpose tn writing to GWS is twofold. I want Chris to know that there

are other chlldren who ar€ homeschooled and have problems, and I would like to Ilnd out what tdeas and approaches have helped other parents. ISSJ Tho4gh Mota ts l|sted ir1" tle Dircctory and gou can urirte to her directlg, u.te unuld fu grateJrn if gou unuld

SON HAS TROUBLE

WITH READING Molra Nobles (CN wdtes: My son Chris ts g and has been tqring to read for about fouryears. I have never pushed him but have helped him as much as possible. He is extremely sensitive about his problems wlth reading due to an older sisterwho read at age 5 and now reads about twen$r or thtrt5r books a week, and due to the pressure that comes from the nelghborhood children who are in school. They have made fun of h,lm for varlous reasons, but hls not being able to

send us coples oJ gour replles d.s u:ell (and let us knou whetler it's OK to publish your letter and, to use your na ne), fuause I suspect thrrt otlers unuld. b hlerested in seeing uhat gou hanse to sag.

PERFECTIONISM BECOMES CRIPPLING A reader writes: Llke Suzanne Chlasson's son Nickrr l"When Stbltngs Compare Ttemselves,;

GROWING WITHOIJI SCHOOLING #74

7 cWS #7I1, ourolderdaughter (8 | /2) is a perfecdonist. Her'own standards are so high as to paralyze her,' as Suzanne says of her son. From her very early childhood, our occasional offers to teach her something met wlth tears or a tantrum. She didn't mind us doing the thing for her, but to suggest that she tqr lt before she was sure she could do tt perfectly all by herself was to lmply that she was 'dumb.' In trying to show her how to de her shoes, we didn't get past, 'Flrst, you make a loop...' before she burst into tears and screâ‚Źuns. Same with a zipper on a coat. So we continued to zip her and tie her shoes without further urging thmugh ages 4, 5, 6, was lt 7? Sometime about then she suddenly began zipping and gdng, qutte

lessons, she even decided to tackle piano agaln herself, somethlng she had started very successfully when she was 6 and had glven up after a mostly-palnful year when she was unable to play wlth hands together. She worked through the D'Nealian workbook at a good pace and ended wtth beautlful prtnting. She dtd wrtilng proJects for our homeschool book club, read parts of The Btg bk oJ Amozittg Facts and followed up wlth other science proJects. She breezed lnto plano as if she'd never knoum a hitch befiore, conquered the piece that had glven her so much trouble, and went right on. She did the math willingly enough, grumbltng a little over

competently.

and understandtng it. She took a huge jump in her reading ability. But after Christmas it became clear that this schedule wasn't worlidng any more. When we sat together for math, her eyes would slide off into the baclcyard, her body tense, and tears come lnto her eyes. (I knew that anxiety. I remembered it from math sessions with my father when he clearly thought I ought to be able to understand, but I didn't, therefore something was wrong with me.) She nearly stopped reading, didn't want to tr5r cursive, stopped writing anything, and wen stopped drawing for a while. I told her that she could go back to deciding what shewanted to pursue. We have noticed in her interactions with other adults that thev have a different authorit5r with her than we do. Her second grade teacherwas able to ask

Similarly, wlth no other preparation than our reading aloud to her lots and lots, and a few quesflons she asked about sounds of letters, she ptcked o:ut A Pig Cott Ji.g at the library when she was 6 and, almost secredvely, read through lt ln one hour-and-a-half session. Always, she turns aside praise: 'Mom, don't make such a big thing about it." With each accomplishment I always feel, "Oh boy, here she goes,'but she

always conficunds me - lt ls almost as if she frightens herself. Each epiphany is fleeting, and then she seems to retreat. Sometimes, like a fighter pilot, I can get in and out with some informadon before she takes offense. But nodce the imagery. Any suggestion ls a violatlon of her airspace. So what's the problem with simply letting her set her own timetable? It's this: her perfecdonism is preventing her from leaming the baslc skills she needs. She

likes to hear Gullir.rer's Tfotnls, The Prince and tle Paupe1 At the Bock oJ the North Win4 all original and unabridged, but what she checks out from the librarSr are stacks and stacks ofpicture books. She tells fabulous stories aloud, but she writes

very little. Yesterday she did make a book, of the letters of the alphabet and illustrations. She is most comfortable with her art, and makes very expressive original cartoon drawings. Even so, most of her drawings are hasty scribbles. She says she hates math, although she has had almost no formal instruction. In a lovely cooperative preschool that she attended from ages 3 to 7 she had some work with Cuisenaire rods, butwhen she attended second grade part-time for several months fher own choice) she did well in math (but not well enough for her - she sometimes missed one or two on a page). Despite her school experiences, we're still primarily homeschoolers, and up until recently have let her decide what she needs to know. I rst summer she seemed to take a big Jump in maturtty. Suddenly she was able

to tolerate amblguity and partial knowl-

edge, and even some challenges. Together we set up a schedule which tncluded time

for a D'Nealian handwridng workbook, writing, sclence or soclal sclence, and reading. I ordered the CDA math program because lt emphasizes "friendliness with numbers' and encourages counting concrete obJects as long as the child wishes to, and had her begin way back with the simple addidon and subtraction that I knew she understood. When her three-years-younger sister wanted music

the workbook format but working at

things of her that she would lind terribly threatening if we asked. Perhaps, in her case, it's less threatening to 'fail' for outsiders than for parents. A while ago we began to consider whether she might be better olT learning somewhere other than in our home. But as time goes by she falls farther and farther behind her age-mates, and to put her into school without the tools she needs would be devastating to her. Although there are other homeschoolers here, there's no one wlth whom we could trade dme, to give her access to other adults. We thought of a

tutor, but that would tell her rnost clearlv that she's not doing well enough to satisfo us. We're concerned about her sense of inferiority. She compares herself to her

friends and concludes that she is dumb. I-ast night she said, "l've always been behind kids my age. When they were ln first grade, I was in kindergarten; when they were in second grade, I was in first grade; now that they're in thtrd grade, I'm doing second grade work.' I reminded her that homeschooled kids don't leam all the same things at the same time that schooled kids do, and I reminded her that our local librarians wanted her to sign up for the Book-a-thon because they thought she was a fourth or fffth grader. I didn't tell her that her new friends' mothers were stunned by her vocabulary and the things she discussed, nor that others have been very impressed with her drawings. I don't think she would have believed me. So what to do with this perfectionist child? Fortunately, the school in the neighborhood we are moving to emphasizes self-esteem, lets children start right

GROWING WITHOLN SCHOOLING #74

where they are, and downplays tests and competition. It ls also on an interestlng schedule ln which the children attend six wecks and are olf two weeks, whtch will allow us to lntersperse family ttme and school time. I'm sure lt's not the full and complete answer, but when we move, lt's where she'll go. Fortunately, she has made two frlends who go there, so she's

looktng favorably on the ldea. Even better, there are homeschooling families not too far away from where we're movlng who pool resources with maJor help from one non-parent, There may be a place for us there in the fall. Has anyone else tales to relate or advlce to give about the perfecdonist

child?

[#l I lnpe some chMren wi]I resportd. to thts letter, tm. IJ you can

iderrtifU uffh tfus reader's danryhter

arW waA, can Vou teL us angthing abut whot hrrs ben lulpJul to you, or what gou thlll/r mtglX tu helpJul tn gou?

DIFFICULTIES WITH OTHER CHILDREN In GWS #73 ure reprintedJromthe Northe rn Californla Homeschool Association News a lefter Jrom a honeschder usho wrote

thst she'hadfuenhavng

problems uXh kids anound. mA own age, tuho attend public schmL snubbhg me once schml has started-" Diane Rofurtson (Nl) responds:

Reading Adrianne Nelson-Cavlglia s letter brought to mind all the incidents Bryce (lO), Morgan (6), and I have had over the last few years. Talldng it over we have come to the conclusion that part of the attitude of school-age children toward homeschoolers stems from Jealousy and stress. Schoolchlldren and their parents feel unempowered. The children feel no authority over their lives, and the parents feel they have no power ln the schools. When I tell parents we arâ‚Ź homeschoolers, they frequently tell me all the problems they are having with the school system. When I try to discuss wltJl themwhat might be done to try to improve the system, the answer I often get is, 'Nothing can be done, weJust have to put up with it," We homeschoolers can't conceive of what it would feel like to be in that kind of predicament. If our kids decide to go to school, it is their decision and the decision can be reversed. Adrianne's friends see her as someone in control of her life. She has the power to change the situations tn her life that make her unhappy. She has freedoml Homeschooling is usually Just one of the areas ln which we take charge of our lives. I watch the children in our homeschooling gpoup work out their differences. Rarely is a problem brought to a parent's attention. When lt ls it is quickly solved. Homeschoolers, because they have charge of thelr llves, can be (are allowed to be)

problem-solvers. Bryce has learned, as he has gotten older, how to cope better with the neighborhood kids. Thev were over the other day and started to-play very rough. Bryce knows by now that this ls a prelude to an all-out ffght. I heard him say to them, 'I