GROWING WITHOUT SCHOOLING 7T Some people ask, 'How will children learn ri$or, or selfdisctpline, tf they don't $o to school?' Behind this question is the
assumpgon thai the motlr4ation to stlck with somethlng until it ts learned or done, even tf the learning or doin$ is difllcult, comes from being requlred to do so. People ln school worry about concentratlon, aboul'ilme on task,' about perseverance' Conventional school wisdom supposes that lettturg children do 'whatever they want' makes rigor lmpossible - alter all, if no one is makin$you finish the assignment, why would you bother to stay with lt once it became
Nathaniel McAlpine wrltes about learnlng to ride a b: thls lssue's Focus on When Iâ‚Źarntng is
INSIDE THIS ISSUE: News
&Reports p.2-3
New Rules ln Ohlo, Newlaw
in
Maine, NEA Resoluttons
Ftndlng Homeschoolers ln Flctlon p.4 Recognlzlng a Chlld's Soclal Needs p.5-6 Challenges & Concerns p.6-9 When Siblings Compare, Worldng Outslde the Home, Children's Flghts
Watchlng Chlldren Learn p.
9-ll,
p. 34-35
What He Needed, PutUng on PlaY, I-eaming from Other Children, from Siblings, What Hands-On ReallY Means
FOCUS: When Learnlng ls
Frustratlng or Dlfrleult p. 29-31
The Problem of Professlonallzatlon:
Intervlew wlth John McKnt$ht p. 32-33
Older Homeschoolers p. 33-34 The Structured-Unstructured Dlchotomy p.35-36
Should Standardlzed Tests Be Used to Judgle Homeschoolers? p. 36-37
frustrating? For this tssue of GWS we asked several young readers of the magazine to write about the experience of learning or mastering, frustrating or dtlllcult. Their letters demonstrate Just how "oti.thtng v/i1ing children who iearn outside of school are to persevere, to work Urrough dtfflculttes, and they teach us somethlng lmportant about the source of rigor and self-disctpline and the conditlons under which they flourish. Here is Mar5rrose Dolezal talking about her struggle to figure out how to tell time: 'I kept at it because I hated being places where I needed orwanted to flgure outwhat Ume ltwas, but couldn't"' Itwas very frustratlng for me, but I'm glad I kept at lt, because now I know how to tell timi.'And here isJamie Smith talking about how she pulled herself out of a slump in herwork on the piano: "I found that the more challenging the pieces were that I played' the more interested I became ana trte harder I worked.'Anneke chodan says that it was because she "really enjoyed swimming' that she worked at it even though she is, by her own description, 'not a naturally athletic person.' The source of rigor and self-discipline, then, is the work itself' John Holt wrote in GWS #29: 'Good work requlres a klnd of selflessness, a purity of motive, a willingness to submit oneself to the requirementi not of the boss but of the task...' The requirements of the task, the demands it makes on us, are what tnspire us to keep at it.
But the source of self-discipline is also, as Nancy Wallace has polnted out, our relationship to the task at hand. She says, 'Children wlll never learn self-discipline as a skill separate from the work they perceive as their real work.' A task demands self-discipline if we feel ourselves engaged with it, if we have chosen it and thus chosen to submit to its requirements. Mar5rrose wanted, for her own reasons, to learn how to tell time, and so she gave herself to the demands of the task and got, at the end, the simple reward of krawirE twtts to tell time. Learning, then, is a matter of the relationship between the learner and his or her chosen work. Anything else - gold stars' grades, movlng up to the next workbook - is extraneous. Because th" young people who have written for this issue have a relationship wlth what they are trying to learn, they are able to figure out what they need to do tn order to learn it. Sometimes they cope with dtfllculttes that arise by takfng a break for a whtle. Sometlmes they involve other people in the task. Sometimes they simply remind themselves of how much they do want to swim or tell time or write a story. Having figured out what helped them in this one lnstance, they now have a basis for suspecUng that something similar might work the next time they are frustrated (although they will likely also discover that different tasks require different methods of working through difficulty). We don't have to make children rlgorous or disctplined. Interesting things to do, and children's natural desire for mastery' compeSusannah Sheffer tence, and growth, wtll do the job.
-
2
OFFICE NEWS & ANNOUNCEMENTS
NEWS
NEW LAW IN MAINE
[SS:] We're ail delighted to announce
the arrival of Alison Huse Farenga, who was born on August lTth (which, coincidentally, ls her mother Day's own birthday). All the Farengas are well, and, as we said in GWS #7O, Day will be back tn the olBc.e part-time - wtth Alison, of course ln a couple of months. By the time you rec€ive this lssue, Leanfig AU The Ttrne, the AddisonWesley book collection of John Holt's previously uncollected pieces, should be available. It helps us if you buy the book directly from us, but it also helps if you ask bookstores in your ar€a to car4r the book. And if any of you are in a position to review the book for your local newspapers, or know anyone who might want to review it for a large paper or magazine, please let us know. Look fora chapterofthe book,
with a short biographical sketch ofJohn, in the November issue of Parents maga-
zlne. Pat Farenga's article on homeschoolers and college is expected to be in the fall t:,"sue of Mothenng, so keep your eyes open for that. I wrote a short piece about homeschooling for ParentGuide, a New York City magazine; I'm not sure when it will aPpear. As we go to press, we are about to
& REPORTS
hold
our annual 'Remembering John Holt' evening on the anniversary of his death (September l4th). Pat Farenga and I will
speak at our local Cambridge Public Ltbrary on the lSth; the librarians are interested in learning how libraries can help homeschoolers (and vice-versa), so if you have any suggestions from your own experience, do let us know. We expect to be in touch with the librarians even after the
l8th.
As you can se€, this lssue of GWS contalns our fall 1989 John Holt's Book and Music Store catalog, rrrith lots of new items. (The catalog will NOT be bound into subsequent printings of this issue.) Please note the deadline for Christmas deliverv so you won't be disappotnted. We're grateful to those of you who send us legislative and related news from around the coung. This is how we find out about such news, so please keep sending it and don't assume that someone else has told us. We'd rather hear something twice than not hear it at all.
BeginningJanua4r l, 199O, a complete set of our back issues will cost $125 plus postage. We are offering our subscribers a chance to purchase a set while the postaee paid - is still in old rate - $lOO postage effect. Please take advantage of it. We li that it's often hard for an individual familv to order a set on its o\rm; perhaps "o*. oi you will get together on this - five people can each pay $2O, or a support groupcan order a set for its library. You'll notice that our fall catalog lists the netu back issue price. The $lOO rate, and the January I deadline, applies to subscribers onlg, When you order at the $lOO rate, be sure to let us know that vou are tndeed a current subscriber. Thanlis.
The governor of Maine signed new homeschoollng legtsladon, Pubhc [.aw Chapter 537, on July 7, 1989. The law was passed as emergency legisla$on, wtrich means lt takes ellect tmmediately, so that It would be ln eflect ln time for the 1989-90 school year. It requlres homeschoolers to flle simultaneous applicatlons with the local supertntendent and the Commissioner of Educadon. The Commissioner is then responsible for approving or denying the homeschooling request (whereas under the old law, local school districts had this responsibtltty). The local school boards do review the applications, however. From the law: -The purpose of local revlew shall only be to facilitate cooperation between local educators and students receiving equivalent lnstruction and to permit local boards and educators to provlde tnitial review of the applicadon for compleflon of informadon requlred by state rules. Within 3O days of receipt of the applicatlon, the local board shall submit its cornments on the completeness of the application to the commlssloner. Wtthin 30 days of receipt of local c.omments, the commissioner, using state criteria established by rule, shall decide whether to
approve the equivalent lnstruction application. If the commlssioner denies the application, the appltcant may, within 3O days of recelving the denial, amend and resubmit the application dircctly to the commissioner. The commlssioner shall make a decision within 30 days of receiving the amended application.' Steve Moitozo of the MAINE HOMESCHOOLASSOCIATION tells us that the Department of Education ls now required to develop rules that wtll gulde the tmplementafion of the law, and homeschmlers are preparing to testiff at public hearings about these rules.
NEW RULES IN OHIO The Ohto State Board of Educa$on
unanlmously passed new Rules for Excuses fmm Compulsory Education for Home Education on July lOth, accnrding to homeschooler Jim Shaw. The Rules, l, require prospective homeschooling parents to give
which took eflect on August
superintendents the following information: name, address, and other such inforrnation; assurance that home education will include certain sublecs (the list includes the usual scho6l subJects, with a clause sa5ring "except that home education shall not be required to include any concept, topic, or practlc€ that ls ln conJlict wtth the sincerely held reltgtous beltefs of the parent'; a brief outline, 'for informational purposes only," of the year's curriculum; a list of textbooks, correspondence
courses, or'other basic teaching materials," also 'for informatlonal purposes only'; assurance that the child \^rill be provided a rninimum of nlne hundred hours ofhome education each school yeaC; assurance that the teacher has one
of the following qualificadons: high
school diploma or certificate of equivalence, standardized test scores that demonstrate htgh school equlvalence, or "other equlvalent credential found appropriate by the superintendent.' Parents who can provide none of these must work under the direction of someone with a BA degree 'until the child's test results demonstrate reasonable proliciency or until the home teacher obtains a high school diploma." Superintendents who determine that what a parent has submitted is not in compliance witJl the Rules must state in writing 'the specilic respects i-n which the informadon is incornplete." The parent then has the option of supplying the addi-
tional lnformatlon in wridng, or meeting with the superintendent to supply it in person. If the addiflonal lnformation still does not meet the requirements of the
Rules, the superintendent may deny the excuse from compulsory attendance. Parents have the right to a due process hearing before tJle superintendent about such a denial. The new Rules also speciff that parents must send an "academic assessment report' to the superintendent at the end of each school year. The report must include one of the following: standardized test scores above the 25th percentile; a written review, prepared by a certified teacher or other person mutually agreed upon by the superintendent and the family, of a portfolio of the child's work; or an alternative, mutually-agSeed-upon form of assess-
ment. If the assessment shows the superintendent that the child is not'demonstrat-
ing reasonable proliciency,' the parents must submit 'an appropriate plan of remediation,' which means thev must submit quarterly reports evaluittng the child's progress and giving an erplanation if the child has not made satisfactorv
progress in a particular subject, Though these Rules have been passed, homeschoolers continue to be interested in passing new legislation in Ohio. HB 217 passed out of the Education Committee on June 27 but did not make it to the floor for a vote before the legislature's summer recess. It is likely that the bill will come up for a vote when tJle legislature reconvenes in the fall. Jim Shaw writes, "Even though we now have the Rules to work with, homeschoolers still want a new law. We feel the legislature is much more responsive to the people than the Department of Education and that the law will not change as easily as the Rules. Our letters to legislators have received many responses, but we haven't received one response from Department of Education members or State Board of Education members."
OTHER LOCAL NEWS For addresses oJ state and. Ircaj gttoups, see GWS #66 or our HomeschrcIing Resource L;ist, available Jor $2.50.
Manitoba: Charles Small wrote in
the July newsletter of the MANITOBA ASSOCIATION FOR SCHOOLING AT HOME that on May 12 four MASH repre-
GROWING WITHOI.]-T SCHOOLING #7I
3
with the provlnce's Deputy Minister of Educafion to discuss prospective changes to Manitoba s home education policy. One posslble change would
says that these resolutions are tonnol btent, fuLieJ, or posftlrrn oJ the Assxiation"'
give greater control orrcr homeschooling to local school authorltles, and MASH representatives said that their group prefers the current sltuaHon, ln whtch control over homeschooltng ts centr:allzed and unlform. MA.SH wtll contlnue to
Homc Scboollng. The National Educaflon Assocladon belteves that homeschoollng programs cannot provide
sentaUves met
monitor the Department of Educatlon's work on home educatlon policies ln the c.oming months.
Mer5rland: Manfred Smith wrote ln the Spring issue of the MARYI.AND HOME EDUCATION ASSOCIATION newsletter that the State Department of Education changed the HomE InstrucUon W-l,aw
slightly to edit out se',reral lnconsistencies, pardcularly one whlch had required families using an approved correspon-
erq2ressions oJ opinloa
the student with a comprehensive educaUon experlence. The Associ,atlon belleves that, lf hyl parental preference homeschooltng occurs, students enrolled must meet all state requir,ements. Instmctlon should be by persons who are lic.ensed by the appropriate state educatlon llcensure agency, and a currlculum approved by the state departrnent ofeducadon should be used. The Association further belleves that such homeschoollng programs should be Limited to the children of the immediate family, with all expenses belng borne by the parents.
dence course to be monltored bv the local
school district as well.
Ncw YorL: The Educaflon Depart-
ment has been meeUng wlth the Home Instnrction Advisory Commlttee (a group of home education leaders), superintendents, and school board representatives to review the home lnstructton reguladon that was passed in June 1988 (see GWS #62, #6,4), according to the July lssue of t}:'e Home Schoolrers' Erctange newsletter. Homeschoolers have proposed several changes to the regulation, tncluding alternatives to standarrdlzed testing and the establishment of a mediation procedure for the resoludon of disagreements between homeschoolers and superintendents. According to the Home Schoolers' Erahatge, the superlntendents accepted these changes but the school board representaUves refused to c.onsider them. Homeschoolers are worklng to convince the Board ofRegents that the current regulation does indeed need revision. Rhodc Island: Homeschooler Betsy Capezio writes: 'We are waiting on a ruling fty the Commissioner of Education) on three cases which will allect vear-end standardlzed testing here (te;thg tsn't required by statute but in reality it is requested by almost all school districts). The ruling will alTect parents' ability to choose which test they want, choose the site of the test, and choose the test giver.'
Vermont: Homeschooler Erik
Nielsen writes: 'Desplte the best efforts of a number of people, the Vermont legislature passed a bill requested by the Department of Education whlch gives tJle Department greater control over private schools
and narrows the options for homeschml-
ers. As of July f , 1990, Vermont famllies who wish to homeschool may no longer register as prlvate schools, but must be enrolled in the state-run home-study program. Glven the rec€nt caurt decision in Maine lsee GWS #68] dealing with a similar set of circumstances, lawsults seem unlikely to topple the new law, but we mustwait and see.'
NEA RESOLUTIONS ON HOMESCHOOLING F-rom
the 1989-90 resolutions
oJ the
National &l'ucation Assoctatioru as qtnted in tle &ptemfur 1989 issue oJNEA
Tday.
The Jorewotd.
to
tle
resolutions
ISS:I In GWS #62 we printed parts of an article ln another NEA newsletter that
was devoted to the concern that'the homeschooling movement is underminireg ellorts to lmprove educadon.' We said then, as we say again now, that the NEA is not ln a position to make actual decislons about homeschooltng, but they are a powerful lobbying group when it comes to state bills, so it's important to be aware of what they're saylng about homeschooling. I conUnue to find lt tnteresdng that the NEA ls sure homeschooling conrlot provlde students with a comprehensive education erqperlence. Even one counterexample ls supposed to be enougfi to dlsprove such generallzatlons - but I guess tf they don't look for counterexamples they don't llnd them.
SPEAKING TO COLLEGE CLASS bnda Holzfuur
(NY) wriles:
I spoke this pastyear to three classes of Educational Psycholory students at SUNY Cortland (part of the state universit5r system). Educa$onal Psychology is a required cours€ for all education students and my recepflon was very interesdng. Almost all the students were very open to and erren eager to hear about homeschooling, especially the female students. In all three classes there were onlv one or two who were really offended by the idea, their reasons almost all being the sports team/ socializatlon type of objections. It was lnteresdng that the Gw minority students present were always very enthuslasdc (whereas tn Phtladelphia, where I used to live, minorit5r administrators and politiclans were very opposed to homeschooltng) and took dme after class to express a hope for real socletal change through alternatlves such as homeschoollng. Of course I assume that some of that attltude can be attributed to my presentation since one of our reasons for homeschoollng ls our belief that the present school system preserves the status quo
enough to find others who are sympatheilc, and the surrounding counties have beautlful, reasonably-priced rural properHes. We are movlng soon into a cooperatlve cornrnunity wtrtch will (we hope) be able to start a land-based business to support us all (three families so far) someday soon.
HOMESCHOOLERS AREN'T SHELTERED Ellen kcker (NM) wrote in response to an article that uas publtshed in the 4 / 30 / 89 tssue oJThe New Mexican:
While raising many good points, your
arilcle on homeschooling did a disservice to the majority of families who have opted to offer their children home-centered education. These families do so not to 'escape' the evils of immoral teachings or to shteld their chtldren from the 'real world." On the contraq/, their choice is based on precisely the feeling ttrat education is not limited to a desk and four walls containing 30 children, all the same age. [Home educationl is an expansive choice, not a restrictive one. Children have many more opportunities to experience the real world since they are not limited to a school setting. The viewpoint of some of the officials quoted [tn the articlel is disturbing. When Mr. Anderson speaks of the 'big bad world out there' that homeschoolers won't know about due to their "sheltered home
envlronment,' I question both his logic and his atfltude. F'irst, the nodon that we should lnstill in our children the idea that the world is a big bad scary place in which they are pr€y to untold evils, and the only way to live in this world is to learn to "survive." Rather than fostering survival sktlls to learn to cope with assaults at school, why not make the playgrounds a safe place for the children who must use them and, at the very least, monitor the "bullies" whose behavior would be considered crirninal if committed by adults in the "real world"? In any case, bullies are to be found wer5rwhere, not just on school playgrounds. No one I know restricts their children to the home to keep them safe from the 'bullies and freakies" Mr. Anderson is so anxious to expose our children to. Indeed, it is a much mor€ 'real world' experience to encounter brutality and unfairness in the context of a broad framework that includes a sense of lustice and self-worth fostered by the'prolecUon' and respect [Mr. Andersonl views as so damaging. All the chlldren I know are familiar with bullies and other unpleasant realities; they Just don't view themselves as trapped victims who must perfect their own bullying skills tf they wish to surrive...
and lnsures failure and hopelessness ln certaln groups. Thank you for your concentratlon on communit5r in tJ-e last issues of GWS. We
GROWING WITFIOUT SCHOOLING #7 I, Yol. 12 No. 5. ISSN *0745-5305. Published bi-monthly by Holt Associates, 2269 Massachusctts Avenue, Cambrtdgp MA O2l4O.$2O/W. Datc of lssuc: October I, 19a9. Second-class postage paid at Boston. MA. POSTMASTER: Send addrcss changes to GWS, 2269 Massachusetts Avenue , Cambridgc MA 02r4O.
have moved several dmes because we needed a community we could not create.
ADVERTISERS: Deadlines are the lSth ofodd-
Finally, we have found it here. Ithaca itself is the center of a comrnunitv small
GROWING WITHOI.JT SCHOOLING #77
numbered months. Contact Patrick Farenga for rates.
4
FINDING HOMESCHOOLERS IN FICTION I
Wendg Mafiyna. (CN utrltes: Do you know of any liction that portrays tlle lives of homeschooled children? In reading, my children get the idea that the only homeschooled children in books are ones who lived long ago, "before there were schools." We know that even long ago, many children were homeschooled not only because oflack ofnearby schools, bui also for the same reasions that we do homeschooling today. It would be useful to know about books tl at rellect the rvide range of homeschoollng experlences in our countqr's past. While true stories about past homeschoolers would teach us much, flctlon would offer us particular pleasures. Ficflonal characters are so real to us, becoming a part of our llves and our memories, and it is always special to ffnd one who dtdn't go to school. We recently found a passage ln William Rawls's Where the Red Fem Grous in whdch the countw boy explains to the town child that he ' leams at home. The country boy does not even recogn?e what a school is when he first sees one fur a town (he sees the school at recess dme, and thinks that a rlch man must be thrcwing a party for all the children playing out in front of his
mansion). The passage goes: 'One boy, spying me standing on the corner, carne over. looking me up and down, he asked, 'Do you go to school here?'
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satd. 'School?' He said, 'Sure. School. What did vou think it was?' 'Oh. No, I don't go to school here.' 'Do you go to Jeflerson?' 'No, I don't go there either.'
'Don't you go to school at all?' 'Sure I go to school.' 'Where?' 'At home.' You go to school at home?' I nodded. "\Iy'hat grade are you ln?' I satd I wasn't tn any grade. Puzzled, he said, You go to school at home, and don't know what grade you're tn. Who teaches you?'
'My mother.'
"What does she teach you?'
I satd, 'Reading, writing, and arithmetic, and I bet I'mJust as good at it as you
are.''
As wonderful as
it is to come
across
flctional homeschoolers in any time
period, tt would be even more special to read about the lives of boys and girls who are homeschooled in c.ontempora4r times. Wtth homeschooling (as with so mzrny aspects of our lives), we rarely lind our experience reflected in contemporary
culture.
It occurs to me that our most-loved books are those whose action takes place outside of school, where the difference in daily life between being schooled and being homeschooled does not flgure so greatly. In the Chronbles o.f Natnia for example, none of the four main characters is ever actually in the schoolroom, though school figures as a backdrop in their lives. In the great works of Cynthia Voigt (such as Homecombtg), the children are most often on thelr own. In so many of our cherished books, what the children are doing that is strong and true and worthy of knowtng about takes place ln thelr lives outside of school. What we have yet to ftnd is a book about a child of today, whose life ls like ours, whose learning is a part of his or her everyday life, whose days are not ordered by school buses and school bells. In these dmes when there are still so few contemporary writings about homeschooled children, it may be that nonfiction ls the way for children to read of other homeschooling experiences. Accounts of daily life of homeschoolers, such as Narrcy Wallace's Better Thar. School, can be useful. But most - if not all of these accounts are written primarily to adults, and contain reflectlon about the children's experience from the adult's perspective. While this is of course important, the other need I am speaking about is not served by this lidnd of writing - to see a life alive on its own terms in a storv. We need new classics in which the chiracters are homeschooled, in which the characters' lives can illustrate and suggest the
potential of life lived wholly outside of school. In the meantime, let's share our finds - passages or whole books about children who grow without schooling - with each other.
[SS:]
I
reptied:
I think you're right that
homeschool-
ers need to see themselves represented in literature - and not, it would seem to me,
always ln books that are specifically about homeschooling, but simply in books in which the central character happens not to go to school fust as a black child doesn't always need to read books in which race is the dominant theme, but does need to read books in which characters are black). For a while we probably will, as you suggest, have to rely on books in which the characters may technically go to school but ln which school is not central to the story. I can think of several good ones - the AU-OJ-A-Kind Fanily series, for example,
which you probably know, and Harriet tle Spg. George Dennison's Luisa Domrb is a wonderful example of farnily life (and it's contemporary, too) - the children in the book do in fact go to school, but we don't hear about that in the story; what we see are all the things they do at home, together. I recommend the book strongly (it's also beautifully written). Another is Annie Dillard's An American ChIldhmd. also beautifully written. It's the author's memories of her childhood. and what she talks about, mostly, is all the discovering and figuring out that she did on her own. I think also of Katharine Houk s book, We Learn at Home, which we sell here and which is designed to meet the need you talk about, for very young children. There's a unnderjul book called A Time to Flg Ftee, by Stephanie Tolan, that is, alas, out of print. It's about a lO-yearold boy who hates school and manages to convince his family to let him stop going, and then apprentices himself to a nErn who helps wounded wildlife. The book is wonderful in many ways, but the thing I think of especially is that the boy's boredom in school, and dislike of it, is, for a change, treated as reasonable and worth doing something about. If I were you I would make every elfort to find this book in a library or used bookstore. I also agree witJl you about nonfiction, and I think GWS is doing something about this. If you look through the past several issues I think you'll see that many
children and teenagers have written letters which give a vivid picture of their lives - and in #68 there are those discussions with two mothers and daughters, ' which are another opportunity to hear from young people directly. Of course I want to have more and more of this in the magazine, but I think there's a lot of it already, and maybe you can call these letters to the attention of vour children when it makes sense to do that.
Homeschooled children will probably have to write their own liction for a while, too. There are all sorts ofwavs to see other homeschoolers' fiction - lots of local publications, and I've heard of groups getttng together for small workshops, too, so gradually, as kids write stories with characters who leam outside of school, and read others, a sense that there is a
body of work wlll develop.
GROWING WITFIOLN SCHOOLING #7I
RECOGNIZING A CHLID'S SOCIAL NEEDS FINDING FRIENDS OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL lcslle McCdgirr
(I<Y) usrltes:
I wanted to respond to Cectly Stern's
letter ["Homeschooling an Only Child,'
GWS #7Ol wen thougfr we don't have an only cbild. My daughter, Candra, turned 5 in July, and our son, Calen, turned 2 ln
June. I was struck by how similar Cecily's daug;hter Cdtlin and our Candra seemed. Candr:a was extremely soctally-orlented from earliest lnfancy. She has always made great demands on our tlme, and ls happiest when engaged in acdvifies that involve another person, particularly fantasy play, I have often thougfrt that she would probably enJoy rrany aspects of school, would probably be a leader, and would probably make friends fatrly easlly
at school. In fact, at one point I was bec.omlng concemed that she was unable to spend
any significant amount of time in solitary play. This has resolved ltself somewhat this past year slnce I qutt worktng fulltirne. Now that I am home almost all the time I become involved in projects of my own (canning, paperwork for my parttime job, household chores, etc.), and Calen often goes olf on hls own to play. Besides, he ls not an endrely satisfactory play partner for Candra yet, slnce he can't engage in the kind ofverbal fantasy play she enjoys so much, and he has a preoccupation with vehicle play. So Candra has been left to amuse herself even more than she was before Calen was born.
We live ln a rural area, twenty miles from the town we do most of our actlvities in, and fifteen miles from a smaller town. I have had moments of worr5rtng that the children will have dilliculty llnding friends. Candra, like Cecily's daughter, has had a long-dme best friend, although she
doesn't see her very often. She has made nrany new friends this year in a variety of ways. We met one family of homeschoolers through GWS and have been to each other's houses for 'pony day.' This just means people who have ponles bring them and children who like to ride are invited. Then Candra met another boy through a Kindermusik class she was taldng. I have since gotten to know hls mother qulte well. She ls a third-grade teacher who is very disillusioned with teaching and wants to quit after thls year and homeschool her children. She and I both hope to keep having play dates for the children, possibly in the evenings or on weekends. Candra made another friend at a babysitter's she has gone to occasionally. Although the babysitter is close to town, the friend turned out to live qulte near us and is starting lidndergarten in the school district we live ln. Candra recently became lnvolved in a theater workshop/play production in the small town flfteen miles away and just lives for play practice. And last week my husband took her to her lirst sheep club meeting. So you can see I have had to put forth some effort to provide socialization experiences, but the car rides have seemed
to be worth it. For her btrthday party thfs year we had to lfunit her to serrenteen guests (quite avariety ofages). Also, because of the envlronment we are providing for our children, our house has becnme quite popular with the vistting
grandchlldren and great-grandchlldren next door (they vtslt quite often), and the older netghbor children down the road. We have two ponies, a variety of farm animals, an interesilng playhouse, lots of dress-up clothes, tnteresflng musical lnstruments, palnts and modeltng materlals always avallable, and lnteresting projects going on as we llx up our rninifarm. So chlldren love to come up to our house.
There are fimes when I have wtshed other children were more available, but I am crnvlncrd that most of the school day, were Candra to go, would be a tremendous mlsuse of her time. She ls such a self-
directed leamer. and I don't want to see that drlve thwarted ln school. Besides, even the children who go to school around here complain a lot about not having p[aymates, Just because we live in the cpuntry. The one famtly down the road with school-age children that spend a lot of tlme at our house do think they couldn't flnd peers without school - however, I remain unconvinc.ed of this, and in the next breath they complain that there ls no one to play with (and nothing to do, etc.). They are good examples of bastcally nice kids from a nice family who have leamed to expect to be entertained, and the boy, who is not avery good student, has developed a very low self-concept slnce he
, The nextyear, whenSarahwas 7, her father and I had decided to separate, and we decided to send her to an alternative school. for this reason and because I felt she really needed to be around otfrer children and, unfortunately, they were all in school. She attended thls school (ofabout seventeen students) for two years with moderate success. The students there are drawn from a wide geographlc area, so it was dillicult to arange after-school or weekend gatherings, though there was time in school to Just play. But it seemed that all the dilllculties of public school were present even in this 'alternative" situation, and the small slze of the school seemed to magniff them. Cllques were formed by the four children who were Sarah's age and when no one was speaking to her on a particular day, she was again left to be wtth the younger chlldren. Thts fall she began publlc school and has been very pleased with her first two days (it's a little early to draw conclusions, however). All of the things that turn me offabout public school seem to be present, Judging from Sarah's conversations about what it is like so far, but she loves it (so far) and those things don't seem to matter very much to her, only to us. I truly hope tJlat she will be able to form a circle of friends who live right here in town, with whom she can play after school and on weekends. Even though we felt strongly that we wanted to homeschool Sarah, I did also have the feeling that when she was about lO I would conslder letting her go to Public school if she really wanted to. I felt that by
started school.
-i
THE VALTIE OF TRYING SCHOOL
Renee Miller oJ Nerl.r Hampshire
gis:t'^?+MATH
41 TURNER
turites:
CT.
PRINCETON
NJ 08540 o (6O9)921-7377 I have an only child, Sarah, now nearly IO. Before she was born we knew we wanted to homeschool her. I really enJoy
THE DIFFERENCE between medircrity ANd EXCELLENCE
spending a good deal of ttme by myself and hoped that she would enJoy thts satisfac-
Uon too. She grew to be a very social chtld, much as Cecily descrlbes her daughter. We lived ln fairly isolated places until Sarah was 3 or 4, whenwe connected wtth a playgroup - folks lnterested tn alternadve daycare situations or home school. As these children grew lnto school age, most of them went olf to school, leaving three
serious homeschooling families with five children, two of them my daughter's age and the other two several years younger. It was a dillicult year for Sarah. The other two children her age were boys who played together almost exclusively, leaving her to arnuse herself with the younger children. The following year was the first year we had a legal obligatton to write a homeschooling proposal, which we did successfully. By now we were down to two families, as one had moved away. This was also a dtfllcult year because having only two friends wasjust not enough for Sarah. I combed the hills and towns, cultlvating
opportunides for play and ftendship for Sarah, to no avail.
GROWING WITHOLN SCHOOLING #7r
,b
MOM AND DAD Learning the multiplication times tables can be fun and easy and a great
idea for Christmas. Children love
these songs and coloring books!
D Send me a tape of songs & coloring books for $20.
!
Send me more information on this fun way to teach math.
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