GROWING WITHOUT SCHOOLING 70 So much of howwe educate - ln the sense of helplng young gro\rr lnto thetr partlcular culture and lnto the world at large people F rg depends on how we thlnk people by nature behave. When we talk as John Holt does tn thls lssue's Focus, about educatlon for peace, we x are talklng not only about what we want but about what we thtnk we're startlng out wlth. Do we thtnk that worklng for Peace means worklng agalnst human nature, or [r conJuncUon wlth lt? The trouble wlth thts quesUon, tmportant as lt ls, ts that lt's not enough to askwhat human nature ls, even though that alone would keep us dl argulng for a good whlle. We also have to ask, and argue about, tww we frid,out what human nature ls. People say, "Of course ctrtldren (and by tmpllcatlon, human betngs ln general) are naturally aggresslve - look at how they behave on the playground.' Or they say, 'Of course chlldren need to be made to learn - look at how my chtldrenJust slt around lf I don't suggest thtngs for them to do.' But others say, "Of course people are naturally peaceful - look at how they behave lf we don't make them feel so badly about themselves that they feel they have to harm other people,' and "Of course ctrtldren are good at learnlng - look at how much my baby has learned wlthout €rnyone forclng trlm to do lt.' Whtch are true? How can we tell? ln lnsteadof MucattonJohn
s
How to hclp chtldrcn grow lnto pcac€fuI adults ls lssue's Focus. Da{cs 17-21,
INSIDE THIS ISSUE: NEWS &REPORTS
p.2-4
OK to Count on Flngers, Opposl-
tlon toTestlng, GED Requlrements
THE MAKING OFAHOME. SCHOOLERp.4-5 CHALLENGES & CONCERNS
p.5-6 Physlcal Handlcaps, Recovertng Flom School, Chlldren's Flghts HOMESCHOOLINGAIV ONLY
CHILD p.7-e WATCHING CHILDREN LEARN
p.9-12 Understandlng Concepts, Bluegrass Communtty, Slblings Worktng Together, Money and
Independence
HOWADULTS LEARN p. 12
BOOKREVIEWS p. 13-16 FOCUS: EDUCATION FOR PEACE
p.L7-2I RETHINKING HUMAN NATURE: INTERVIEW WTITI JEAIV LIEDLOFF p.22-23 OLDER HOMESCHOOLERS
p.23 RESOTIRCES & RECOMMEN-
DATIONS p.24
wdtes about Japanese Bonsal trees, whose twlsted, shrunken shapes gardeners create by limltlng their supply of water and sun, by cllpptng thelr branches, and so on. John asks, "If a tree can be defiormed and shrunk, ls thls, then, lts nature? The nature of these trees, glven enough of the sun, alr, water, soll, and food they need, ls to grow llke trees, tall and stralght. People can be more easlly deformed, and worse deformed, even than trees... Only to the degree that people have what they need, that they are healthy and unafrald, that thetr llves are varled, lnteresting, meantngful, producUve, Joyous, can we begln toJudge, or even guess, thelr nature.' 'Only to the degree that people have what they need...' One way to flnd out about human nature, then, would be to look at people who seem to have what they need (although how we know when weVe found such people ts, agaln, open to questlon). One of the
reasons we lntervlewed Jean Ltedloff. author of Ttv Corljttutm bncept,ln thts lssue, ls that she has so much to say on prectsely thls subJect. Jean also talks about the power of assumptlon - about how much our errpectattons about wtll happen alfect what actually happens. John, tn the essay ln thts tssue, talks about how harrnful lt ls for ctrtldren to be subJected so much of the time to caprlclous, arbttrary authorlty, authodty that does not derlve from anythlng chtldren can respect or conslder senslble. But thts ts only one ktnd of authortty' Aaron Fdbel, responding to John's essay, remtnds us of George Dennlson's dtsttnctlon between natural authortty (authodty that som@ne lnuests {n someone else) and authorlty of rank (authorlty that someone holds ouer someone else). "Great damage ls done,' Aaron wrltes, 'when we use authorlty of rank ln place of natural authortty.' Great damage ls also done when we forget that natural authorlty ls possible and declde that all authodty ls coerclve and that there can be no gd reason to do what someone sa1rs or follow someone's example. Chlldren expect and demand natural authorlty - they want us, €ls Jean Ltedloffmakes clear, to be strong, capable, examples worth following. Helplng chtldren become peaceful people ls ln large part about helplng them become people who can Susannah Sheffer flgure out whlch ktnd of authority ts whlch.
-
2
OFFICE NEWS & ANNOUNCEMENTS that the Farengas are erpectlng a second child tn August (probably by the ttme you receive this lssuel) Day has become an essential member of the Holt Assoclates team since she took over the Book and Subscrlption ISS:I Ourbtggest news ls
ManagerJob two year:s ago, and we are thankful that we wlll not lose her completely. After the baby ts born, Day will continue to be responslble for the Subscriptlon Manager part of that Job, and she will work part-tlme at home and i:r the olllce. She has already made arrangements to have the older glrls ln the ollice (Marie Barr, 12, and Mtchelle Barr and Mandy Maher, both 13) look after the baby while they are ln the olflce. flhe girls are already good frtends wlth lauren Farenga (3) and Noma Rlchoux Ross (2), reminding us once agatn of the value ofvertlcal age grouplng out here ln the real worldl) We welcome Ann Barr, who has been our capable Shtpper/Recelver durlng this past year, to the Book Manager part of what has been Day'sJob, and we welcome Kathy Munro to the Shtpper/Receiver
positlon.
Ikthy brings her chtldren, April
(8) and Chrts (6),
with her to the offlce, and
both have been eager to learn the various o{Iice procedures so that they canJoin the work that they see golng on all around them. Today, as I wrlte, Marle has Just taught April how to vertfr a customer's credlt card number by phone. We're also glad to have Glnger Fitzslmmons crrnlng tn regularly to help us fill back orders, and a new volunteer, Phoebe Wells, coming ln once a week with her 2-year-old son Eoin (pronounccd Owen). Parcnts magazlne plans to run a chapter of the new John Holt book, Leatnbtg AU The Ttme, In lts November issue (the exact issue may change), so be
on the lookout for that. We're happy to announce that our reprlnt of Escape hom Cltldhd ls now available agaln, and sells for $7.95. Also, slnce Patrlcla Joudry's book about homeschooling tn England, Arld The Cltldren Played. went out of prlnt, weVe received at least five requests for tt, and we'd like to be able to offer used c.oples to these people and anyone else who mtght be lnterested. We wtll pay $3.OO ln credlt for any used copies we recelve, and wtll let you know when we have enough to offer them for sale.
From tlme to tlme we rent our mailing list of John Holfs Book and Music Store customers and/or people who have requested lnformatlon from us (we do not sell the GWS subscrtber llst as such, or the Directory). For your tnformadon, the groups that harrc rented all or part of the list tn 1989 are: Clonlara School, Color Art/Huson Travel ktters, Home School Supply House, Jellrey Norton/Audio Forum Tapes, lramlng At Home, National Wridng Instltute, Oak Meadow School, Pensacola/A Beka Books, and True School. For those who have been wondering about an tndex to GWS #61-7O, we should have one In a few months.
NEWS & REPORTS OK TO COUNT ON FINGERS Reader Corute Krurdtson sent us thls fiom tte 2/ 19/89 Rehester, NY Democrat and Chronicle, sagtlg, 'I tlaught gou mtght rnd tftis bXerestitg, Shortty bJore I satr: this I heatd oJ a article
teacher corrnenttg, very negattnlg, that a lot o;f lronleschooled lciils courrJ.d on their fiugers.'
Schoolteachers have scolded chtldren for counilng on thelr flngers for decades,
but some researchers say flnger-coundng can keep good students good and help notso-good sfudents become better. Robert Siegler and Dennis Kerkman, Carneg[e Mellon Unlversit5r Psychology professors, say thelr studies show there's nothing wrong wlth flnger-coundng, and teachers probably should show their students how to do lt correctly. They're going to do it anyway. Every teacher we've talked to about this has told us that telling children not to use thelr fingers doesn't work... We thtnk chtldren are right to do thls because lf you don't know the answer very well, then it's better to be right than to be wrong.' Good students rely on thelr memorles more than not-so-good students or perfectionists to solve math and reading problems, acc-ording to a study of 8O children at arr elementary school in suburban Monroeville. When they couldn't remember an answer, good students hrrn to backup methods, lncluding sounding out words, using a dictionary, counting up from a number to add or down from a number to subtract - or uslng their flngers. Perfectlonlsts used backup methods even when they could remember ttre answer, frequently taking longer to solve problems as a result, Ste$er and Kerkman discovered. Not-so-good students gave the most incorr€ct answers, as expected, but also
displayed poor flnger-counttng skills. Poor students may do poor work because they are bad at backup strategies, lncludlng finger-coundng, Siegler satd. Siegler hopes to develop ways to teach not-so-good students how to use backup strategles and to determlne whether this kind of teachlng can help them learn more qulckly. [SS:l I suspect that being able to use these sorts ofbackup strategies ls an
indication of how well you really understand, and tmst that there ls sense ln, what you're dotng. As John Holt observed repeatedly ln Hou Chdren Fb[[, you can't slmply teach these strategles, and expect that to be enough, lf the foundation of genuine understandlng ts as shalry as lt is for so many children in school.
PLANS TO REDUCE COMPETI. TION IN ALBERTA Wendg Priesnttz urcte br tle Sprlng 1989 issue oJChtld's Play, the newsletter oJ the CANADIAN ALLIANCE OF HOME-
SCHOOIfRS: An Alberta reader reccntly sent a copy of an artlcle that appeared tn Alberta
Report tn mid-Aprtl. Entitled "A Revolution in Our Schools," it described a new policy that wtll take ellect by August 31, 1993 in all Alberta's publlc, separate, and lndcpendent schools... Under [the policyl, competition between students, or by any student against a class or provincial standard, would no longer be used to determine how a chtld w€rsi progressing. The article goes so far as to say there will be no more flailures, no more examlnadons by grade, and in some schools, no gfades at all. It talks aboutlndividual progress and learning st;rles, nonthreatening leaming environments, goal-dtrected learning that reflects a child's goals rather than a teacher's, evaluation of progress ln relatlon to a chlld's own goals and capabilities, and the inappropriateness of much of what ls now accepted classroom behavior. A system ts described in whlch a child would be entered in Year I and tested for his or her tnittal capability in various subject areas. He or she would then be guided by a teacher to work at hls or her own pace, throughout the flrst six years, being advanced in reladon to varlous goals along the way. This, of course, would
create obvious nightmares for a teacher having to deal with thirty students all at different levels in different subJects. But tt's the way many home-based education sltuatlons functlon now.
OPPOSITION TO TESTING Tu.n bttercsting ttems Jrom the Spring 1989 Issue oJ the Fal/Test Exam-
lner: GEORGIA DROPS TEST: IS TEXAS NEXT? The state of Georgia will drop a controverslal test that has been used to
determine entrlr into llrst grade. The kindergarten test, used last sprlng for the flrst time, was criticized by teachers, administrators, local school boards and parents as traurnadc to children and educatlonally unnecessary. Because the test was not mandated by state law, the State Board of Educatlon was able to both
lmplement and drop
tt arbttrarily...
Georgia Jolns other states tJ.at have reccntly stopped testing ln one or mor€
grades. North Carollna banned testlng ln grades one and two, Arlzona stopped mandaUng testlng ln grades one and 12, and Misslssippt will drop lts klndergarten test. The state ofTexas mav soon become part of this trend. Wtth wiie backtng from educatlon reform groups and the State Board of Educatlon, the Texas Senate has passed legislation to drop tts mandated grade one test. The btll ts expected to become law... OPPOSITION TO SCHOOL TESTINC GROWS. The Natlonal Assoclatlon of
Early Chtldhood Teacher Educators (NAECTE) has voted to go on the offenslve agalnst the mlsuse of standardlzed tests. In a November resolutlon, NAECTE reported that 'a number of htghly questionable practlc.es have resulted from the widespread use of screenlng, readlness, and achierrement tests' on young chlldren. Amongl the negatlve results of such test
GROWING WITHOI-TT SCHOOLING #7O
3 misuses are dental ofentrance tnto regular programs, group segr€gatton, increas€d retentlon, and excesslve use ofddll on isolated sHlls by teachers pressured to ralse scotes. Accordlng to NAECTE, these practlc.es are not 'consonant wtth the body of knowledge that e:cplalns how cbtldren
leam," and stllle young chlldren's motlvatlon to contlnue learntnt.
wHY QUESTTON ELIGIBILITY? EIIren Pelrldns oJ Utah
u;rt'Ites:
I must wrlte ln r€sponae to the homeschooler who questloned why homeschoolers couldn't be part of the Natlonal Geography Bee (GWS #69). I thtnk perhaps some homeschoolers autornattcally thlnk people are agalnst them, and are contlnually on the defenslrrc. Last year t read of the Geography Bee. I urrote saytng that u,e had a home school, and rpould they please send us the lnformadon so ure could be
involved. They sent a book, an lnllaflble world $obe, a beaudful world map, and all the tests. My dauglrter, then 8, took the school wlnner's tesL We sent lt tn to the Washtngton, D.C. headquarters. We Later recelved a letter sa5dng she uras one ofthe top IOO quallffers for the state bee. At the luncheon before the bee one speaker announced, qutte proudly, that among all the contestants, there uras even a homeschooler, My daughter's name wEul listed on the program as Sadle Perldns,
Perldns Homc School. Often I read or hear ofopportunldes for schools. lJustwrtte ln and say I have a
home school, and wtll they plcase send the tnformadon. IVe never been turned down. Why quesdon elfgbilfty for programs? Instead calmly assume you are eltgtble.
STATE NEWS Fbr arldresses oJ state ad,lcr,al oryanlzatlons, see GWS *66 or orlu. Homescttcoltng Resource llst, at:allable Jor $2. Cellfornle: In GWS #69, we sald that the state's Ieglslaflve Analyst had recommended that publtc school Independent Study programs for elementaqr school students be eltmlnated [SPs are one way for famtlles to homeschool under the law). Ellzabeth Harnill now wrltes ln theJunefiuly lssue of the NORTTIERN CALIFTf, RNIA HOMESCHOOL ASSOCIATION Netos that the members of the Assembly Ways and Means Subcommlttee voted to reJect the ana\nt's recommendatlon at a hearlng on Aprtl 12. The members of tlre Senate Budget Commltee's subcommlttee on educatlon dld not vote to reJect the recommendatlon at thelr hearlng the followlng urcek, so homeschoolers are sflll monttortng the sltuatton. Ellzabeth notes, honnrcr, that the legtslators dtd not s€em to be concerned wlth homeschoollng per s€: ISPs lnvolve many other students as well. Homeschoolers ane also uratchtng Senate
Blll
1563, whtch unuld requlre
local school dtstrtcts to set tlg;hter controls for publlc school ISPs. NCHA comments: -The btll's strongest polnt ls that lt allows changes to be made at the local level, wlth parental tnput. For
lnstance, parents could work with the admlnistrators of thetr ISPs to determlne how often shrdents should meet wtth teachers and what gutdellnes should be set for screenlng admlsslons. Parents who obJect to the ttghter conbrols stlll have the prlvate school opflons for homeschool-
tng.'
Iowe: The one-year moratorlum on
prosecardons of homeschoolers explred July I, so the requlr,ement that home-
schooltng parents be certtlled teachers ls now back tn elfect, accordtng to Gr€g Nlchols of the IOWA HOME EDUCAf,ORS ASSOCIATION. Greg says that the HOME SCHOOL LEGAL DEF'ENSE ASSOCIATION has IUed a sult on behalf of flve famtltes who have been threatened wlth prosecutlon. The sult charges that when the sectlon of the Ioura law regardtng quallllcatlons of homeschoollng par€nts wag
ln 1953 from r€qutrlng parents to be'competent to lnstruct' to rcqulrlng changed
that they have teachlng cerdflcates, that
change was passed te vlolatlon of the Iowa
constltutlon. The loura ctonstltutlon r€qulres that btlls deal wtth one toplc only, wtdch was not true ln thls case, tcntucly: In GWS #69 we unote that truant olllcers had claimed some famllles were nelther sendtng thelr chlldren to school nor complytng wlth the home school law. Homeschooler Ruth Mc€utcheon now wrltes: Thlngs have been happentng here tn Kentuc$, begtnntng about the llrst of the year. Newspaper artlcles, obvlously slanted agalnst homeschoollng, appeared tn at least trvo areas of dense (for Kentuclry) populatlon. In early Febrrar5r, adults from seven famllles, and numerous chlldren,
met wlth State Department of Educaflon ofllclals, We were told that we have nothlng to fear lf we are responstbly educaung our ctrtldren but that the ofllclals are concerned about people who ar€ uslng the current ltberal regulattons for homeschmltng to clrcrrrnrrcnt truancy charges. -Ihe man we met wlth seemed favorably lmpressed wlth our group but one sald he had put a proposal on the desk ofthe current state superlntendent ofpubllc schools and that he hopes some reg;ulailons wlll be forthcomtng, Thts man wall on televlslon a couple ofycars ago advocattng testlng for homeschooled chtldren
and spectllc quallflcatlons for parents.'
Ruth says that a statewlde group called the KENTUCI(Y HOME EDUCATION ASSOCIATION has formed to monltor any legtslatton ttnt wtll be proposed durlng the l99O sesslon. For lnformatlon, wrlte KHEA c/o Molly Stotts, l3 Rowland Arrc, Wlnchester I(Y 40391. Ncvrde: The State Board of &lucaflon pa.ssed reguladons whlch restrlct the way ln whlch tests can be admlnlstercd to homeschool students tn the state. From the regulattons: The board of trustees of the [schooll dtstrlct shall select the admlnlstrator of the e:camlnailon and the locatlon where the exardnadon ts to be gtven, gtvlng conslderaflon to the recommendaflons of tts staff and a representatlve of parents whosc chlldren are excused
from [schooll attendance...'
Mtriam Manglone of HOME SCHOOI,S UNITED tells us that homeschoolers In Clark County harrc been worldng to convlnce thelr Board of Trustees to allow
GROVYING WITHOTJT SCHOOUNG #70
tests to be admlntstered at home by the parent, as they have been tn the past. She says, 'The State Board's lntent was to mandate that a cerdfied teacher admtnister the test tn the home (tf the parent pafd for lt) or at a school slte. Honrever, they wrote 'test admlntsted tnstead, and accordtng to the state of Nerrada's dellnltlons the test admlnlster cannot be a certtlled teacher or a par€nt. So the reguLatlon as wrltten doesn't colnclde wtth the
State Board's lntent. 'We unuld llke to hear from any homeschoollng organlz.atton or famlly that wag sucressful ln retahfng thek rfght to have par€nts test thetr chlldren at home. Wrtte to Home Schools Unfted/ Vegas Valley, PO Box 2681 I, I ^" Vegas NV 89 126, or call 702-458-6427.' If you harrc experlenc€ wlth thls, we'd appreclate tt lfyou d send us at GWS a copy of your letter as nrcll.
Ylrconrln: A law passed fn 1988 rcqulnes that local school dlstrlcts adopt a plan for dealfng wtth tmante by September I, 1989. Homeschoolers are concerned that some procedures may lnclude spectal provislons for homeschoolers, or ne@mmend that the Departrnent of Publlc Instrucdon regulate home schools. The WISCONSIN PARENTS ASSOCIAflON has prepared a fact sheet on truancy and homeschoollng, and tts May newsletter Itsts suggested ways to prerrent the truanry procedures from alfecting homeschoolers.
GED REQUIREMENTS I}om Jttdg GanEV urd Jtn furgln (RR
l Box 1O5, Bfue HilIMEO4614):
We are beglnntng to cpllect lnformatlon about the GED (hrgh schml equlvalency exam) wtth the thought of one day challengtng the mlnlmum age requlrement ln Malne. We belleve that a person's rtght to take the ocam should be based
only on hls or her ablltty to learn the necessary academlc subJects requlred to pass the test. We would apprcclate heartng from
anyone tn any part of the country who knows ofa young person who has been allowed to take the test earl5r. These excepUons can help us show that the age
requlrements are arbttrary and that precedents have alreadybeen set" Itwould also be very helpful to flnd out lf others are worktng toward thls same goal, and whether there have been any past ellorts to change the age r€qulrements tn other states. ISS:I If you urlte to Judy and Jtm, please send a copy ofyour letter to us at GWS, too: nrc d llke to keep tr:ack of and
publlclze any efforts on thls front. GROWING wlTflol'}T SCHOOLING *7O, Vol. 12 No. 4. ISSN #O745-5305. Publlstrcd bl-monthly
by Holt Assoclatcs. 2269 Massachusctte Avcnuc, Cambrtdgc MAg2l40. $2olyr. Datc of Is$re: August I, 1989. Sccond-class postagc patd at Bcston. MA. FOSTMASTER: Scnd addrces changcs to GWS, 2269 Massachusctts Avcttuc,
cambrrd6 MA o'214o. ADVERflSERS: Dcadltncs arc thc l5th of oddnumbered months. Contact Patrlck Farcrup for ratcs.
4
CALENDAR September 8-lO. 1989: Nadonal Homeschool Assoclatlon annual campout/organlzatlonal meeting. For more lnformadon: NHA" PO Box 167, Rodeo NM
8ao56;5O5-55722ffi.
l:
September 29-October
FUo
Grande
Educational Assoclatlon annual meettng, Coronado Natlonal Forest near Portal, Arlzona. For lnformatlon: Dan Shultts, PO Box 9 I , Rodeo NM 88O56;
tu5-557 -
22ffi.
We are happy to
run announcements
of maJor homeschoollng and related events, but we ne€d plenty of notlce. Deadline for GWS #71 (errents ln Novem-
ber or later) ls September lO, Deadllne for GWS #72 (wents tn January or later) ls November lO.
T}M CONNECTICUT HOMES CHOOLERS ASSOCIATION would like to exchange newsletters with other homeschooling groups. If you would like to participate, please write to Lois l.ake Church, Hearthnotes Co-Editor, 14 Trumbull St, Meriden CT 06450. Is GWS in your library? Please consider
giving your library a subscription, or encouraging the librarian to order one.
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u)r(tes: To my great surprlse, we ar€ now a homeschoollng famtly. Last year Maggie [now 8) was lnterested ln t]re homeschooltng tdea, but content ln school; my husband Paul was opposed, sometimes vehemently; I was mnvlnced of lts supertortty, and wavered between teeth-grindlng frustratlon, deep sadness, and hopeful
reslgnatlon. I've read GWS for years, ever since Maggre's reluctance to attend pre-school pushed me toward alternatlves. But my
radlcalizadon dtd not come easily. F)rst I trted all kinds of ways to pave her way toward fiftfng h to school: fatthful attendanc.e at ltbrary story hour for group acdvtty exposur€, a home pre-school with another mother, chooslng a half-day klndergarten lnstead of full day. At story hour she sat by my slde or on my lap; home pre-school evolved lnto totally free playtlme for the chlldren while my friend and I talked; and she went to kindergarten
wlthout baldng primarily because her best frlend went wlth her. She enjoyed tt, believe, because tt happened to be small and one ofthe last around here to hold onto soclallzadon over academics (i.e.
I
they got to play a lot). I learned about homeschoollng and GWS from my preschool mother frlend. subscribed, and began a most lnteresdng tntellectual Journey. Maggte went bravely to flrst grade, and after the inldal shock of not having any flme to ]Just play,'seemed to do wcll. The bravery lasted two weeks. The bus ride was the flrst to go, and I began drtving her to school. By now I was convinced that school was tllogical and unnatural, but felt, tn a confused sort of way, that Maggle should make the declsion to homeschool herself. She knew about homeschooling because of my subscrtpflon to GWS and our frlends whose chlldren wene not ln school. but I trted to avoid dldacticism. I assumed she consldered lt an alternative. Part of my cautlon was due to Paul's distrust of the idea. My attempts to laud homeschooling and hls reluctant reading of my growtng c.ollecdon of matertal were mct wtth soltd defenses. It was a deep and complex and unhappy sltuatlon urith roots gotng through our own schooling and chtldhood experlences, and our relationshlp and our tndlvldual relationships
wtth M.gSe.
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thfng, I was stlll a ttmtd radical, too timid to buck both Paul and the school authoritles. For another, I belteved that things really would work out, now that the truth was about, and even though I was the only one to fully grasp the ldea, it seemed lnevltable that lt would become clear to anyone who had the strength to care. And one of the reasons I am so enthralled with
homeschoollng ts that teaching the unwllltng ls what schools are about, and can rob the student of her freedom and her power. So this ls where we stayed for a year, seemingly mtred, though, in retrospect, we were worldng hard. Maggte did dectde to homeschool
hvlcc during thts pertod. I, conslderlng somethlng I read long ago tn GWS about fear alone never belng a good reason for not dotng somethlng, worrted that Maggie was reacdng out offear ofschool, and proceeded cautlously. I would explaln that yes, we could homeschool, and that I would have to send ln the proper forms to the governor's ofllce, and that lt would take several weeks to get approval. I decided to watt for her to lnslst, and she never dld. Paul would dlscuss wtth her what he consldered homeschmllng's drawbacks, prtmarily that she would miss her friends. The toplc would pass. Maggle 'dtd well' kr school, was
popular and excrlled academtcall5r. Indeed, I was sometlmes envlous of the farnilles wtth 'mtsflt' children. the chlidren who seemed to be well aware of the absurdltles of c.ompulsory schoollng, or at least so uncomfortable that they would readlly leave (only now do I see the lrony - years ago my worry was about her
not fitdng ln). Meanwhlle, I read a lot. I was so lntrtgued I llnally ordered and devoured the back lssues of GWS. I ordered George
Dennison's The U;rvs oj Children Quite frankly, I ordered lt out of homage to John Holt, who was becoming a mentor to me.
John called lt "essential." OK, I'd read it. For some reason I expected tt to be dull, and was shocked to discover posslbly the most exclilng book IVe ever read. It c.ould have been called ?}re l)tns oJTeaclers, and I couldn't help tmagtntng myself at the school ln thelr placc. What would I have done as Maxlne flounced around the classroom, when Jose panlcked at the sight of words? Would I have recognlzed the deep, deep fears behlnd these behav-
lors? Maggte was at home slck for a week near the beglnntng of sec-ond grade, and refused to go back to school once she was well. Paul knew that the only alternative, forclng her to go, was out ofthe quesdon. It was that simple. I had fantastzed for so long about our lives as homeschoolers, drawlng from my reading souroes, and I knowwe had a smoother transitlon because of thls. I was lnfluenccd by the relaxed atrnosphere ln the Flrst Street School ln The Lhns oJ Chlldren Relaxed teachers, but always observant, lnterested, wtlltng to act. Eletter ?han School convlnced me that I dtd not have to rely on a purchased currlculum, and lnlluenc.ed me to lnclude our two glrls tn adult actlvltles. Vtta and Ishmael Wallace were read Dat:Id Copperfield and taken to tntelltgent movles: I began to quesdon assumptlons of Amerlcan parentlng (lots of toys, never mlss a lidddie movle). I loved the freedom portrayed in
And nE Chldren Plaged.'Happlness ftrst, and all else follows,'was author Pat Joudry's belief, and slowly our llves seemed to be becomlng ordered tn that
way' The most helpful and excltlng were the back lssues of GWS. Agatn and again as I read them I would see our culture ln a new light, becomtng ever more conlldent ln what I felt, what I believed, what I satd and did. Chtldren don't have to be sllly. They
CROWING WITHOIJT rcHOOLING #7O
5 don't need dozens of frlends.'l,eaders are people who go thetr own way wlthout carlng or even loolrdng to see whether :rnyone ts followtng them." Schools a.re strangely dlvorccd from llfe, My chtldren don't have to be Vlnners.'Idon't have to be a winner. "Ftndlng our work ls one of the most tmportant and dtlflcult trsks ln Me." 'Most healthy and curlous chlldren
don't llke to be taught.' And all this (from the flrst ten lssues alone) ls ln the form of storles. A lovely way to learn. Maggte, as I later learned, had questlons of her own as the whole family mulled over the lssue of homeschooling, among them the cornrnon 'How will I learn wtthout betng taught?' and "Will I be c.omfortable betng so dtfferent?" And
Paul, once the declslon was made, once he (and I) reallzed that lt wasn't hls declslon or my declslon, became a sudden enthuslast. I thtnk the fact that we let Maggfe know there was an altemadve to school would have helped her even had she chosen to remaln ln school. but she made up her own mlnd to homeschool.
CHALLENGES & CONCERNS TJNWELCOMING TO YOTJNG
challenge.
CHILDREN
And Jrom Dausn McNanara oJ Mossachusetts:
Mbhnel Duryon (MO) wrltcs: There were some very lnterestlng ldeas put forth ln the focus on maklng
cornnunltles more welcomlng to chlldren (cWS #69). I espectally ltked the one by Sue Fladosfl, about maklng publtc places
more welcomlng to very young chlldren. I can't begin to count the number of tlmes that we have had to change my daughter's diaper on a restroom floor or tn the trunk of the car (belteve lt or not) because there were no counters or tables to use. Belng a father who ts the prlme nurturlng parent in our family, I often {lnd no place to change diapers ln the men's room, and wouldn't even thlnk of putttng her on the floor ln most of them. So I have to resort to benches or other makedo technlques.
My complatnt with thts sltuatlon lsn't that I don't llke to change my
daughter tn publtc, but that when we, as a socle$r, don't make a mlnlmum ellort to support parents and chlldren ln these most baslc ways, we send them a message that they aren't lmportant. When we don't give chlldren a place where they can take care of thetr bodtly functtons ln a sane and rational manner we say to them, ln elfect, -This ls an adult bathroom. There are no facilldes here for you chlldren. You aren't people yet, and therefore don't deserve our conslderadon. Just make do."
PHYSICAL HANDICAPS Alison Inttlmore- Horrld.ge urtte s
from Australia: An added dlmenslon of homeschooling for us ts that our son Tor, nearly 2, ls moderately vtsually tmpalred. Born wlth cataracts, hts mtd- and dlstance-vlslon ls expected always to be poor. We are hoptng he wlll be able to read ordlnar5r or large prtnt after the cataracts are removed, but readlng wtll probably never be for htm the Joy and endless pasdme that tt ts for the rest of us. We are challenged to develop our farntly so that he can fit comfortably wtth us; gone are my hopes of taldng up btrdwatching butwe read aloud, act, and are becoming more muslcal. I suspect Tor will need extra encouragement lf he ls to achiwe a balance of sldlls (thougfr I wonder what prtce soctety and tndtvtduals pay for balance, and to what extent lt ls necessary). We were encouraged yesterday, vlsttlng an exhlbltlon of atds for the vlsually lmpalred, to see sophlsflcated computer equlpment almed at rnaHng
prlnt more accessible.
I would be lnterested ln hearing from nnyone who has a slmllar homeschooling
GWS has always been packed full of lnformadon and posldve enerry, so I thought td wrlte to get some thoughts on our parttcular sltuatlon. We have three chlldren, 6 l/2,2 l/2, and 6 months. We chose to homeschool the 6 year old, 'Iller, when he was 2, and now, wlth two more chlldren ln the plcture, we ane still very much plannlng to keep them all home.
The catch ls our 2 l/2 year old, Ross, has a s€izure dlsorder that's been uncontrolled. He's been on every selzure drug avallable slnce he was 2 months old (he's currently on an experlmental drug). We've well as many trled homeopa.thy, "" we contlnue with an neurologlsts, and stlll average offour or 0ve selzures each day. Ross has had REACH (an earlylntewentlon prograrn) workers helping slnce he was 6 months old, and developmentally he has been 'on target' in every way exc€pt motor control and a slight rtght-stded paralysts. The REACH program has tts pros and cons, but basically we're pleased wlth tt. The program ends for Ross on hts thtrd btrthday, and then the town takes on lts responsiblltty (there's a slde-by-stde program here for Spectal Needs preschoolers.) I have many reservatlons about sendlng Ross off for three hours a day, three days a week at 3 yea::s old, yet he does need extra therapy. I could posstbly do the therapy myself tf I had some lnstrucdon. I feel qulte dratned at the prospect of havlng to llght for what ts rtght for Ross and for our phllosophy of education as well. I need some advlce and support.
RECOVERING FROM SCHOOL Sr;rme ercerpts Jrom the booklet How To Begfn Homeschoollng tlrot GWS reader Judg Ganzy has wrllten (the corr\olete fuket ts at:ollable Jrom Judg at RR I Box 7O5, Blue H{11 ME 04614:
...Homeschooltng ts so much easier
than havtng to deal wlth children who have been ln school all day. My kids used to come home to me tlred, often angry, generally feellng lncompetent, always comparlng themselves to other chlldren, worrled and resentful about the evening's homework, and frustrated about not being able to do the thlngs they really wanted to be dotng durtng thelr wenlng'free' tlme. I used to feel that I was holdtng them together wtth some llnd of 'Mother's $ue,- constantly patctrtng them up where they had broken a btt durtng the day at
GROWING WITHOLrI SCHOOLING *70
schml. Every evenlng I would stt wlth Matthew and do homework. Many tlmes he would do tt by htmself, but he needed the emotlonal support of someone nearby htm to help hlm tolerate the task. Just as often he had to have me explain lt because he dtdn't understand lt, or actually help htm Bntsh lt because he was too tlred or frustrated. So, besldes encroachlng on Matthew's free tlme. school was also dtctaUng howJlm and I would spend our evenlngs wlth the chlldren. ...Recently Matthew talked to one of his former classmates who satd she would Itke to qutt school too, but that she ls afratd she would mlss her frlends too much. Matthew satd to me laGr, "That's the way I used to thtnk too, but I was wrong. I really ltke my friends ln school, but lt's better betng home. I really dtdn't know how tt would feel before.' If anyone was ever afratd of leavtng hls frlends lt was Matthew. Ltke many chtldr€n, s€elng frtends was the only real rieason he wanted to go to school. He really wrestled wtth the tdea of homeschoollng for qutte some flme before he was llnally secure ln chooslng lt. We let hlm make the declslon though we did try to show hlm the htgh prlce he was
paytng for the very ltrntted soclal tnteractlon he got at school. Hls boredom ln the classroom and dlssatlsfactlon and hurt from the dtsctpllnary measures {tnally got palnful enough that he dectded to leave school. Even then. he sttll couldn't see how much he would ltke hts freedom untll he was out of school... Now Matthew can't believe how long he stayed ln school. ...lfyour chlldren have attended schools before begtnrdng homeschoollng, be prepared for a 'flushing out" perlod as they go through dmes ofanger, exhaustlon, bltterness, or generally uncooperatlve behavlor. Wtth both of our boys there was an tntttal pertod of Just platn happtness and rellef and an lnvolvement wtth proJects that had been on the back shelf for a long tlme. Then for Danlel there came a dme of anger and Lack of lnterest tn anythtng. Thls too passed, but tt was unpleasant to see the effects ofwhat had happened to hlm tn school. We came to see thts behavlor as the flushlng out of werythtng negauve he had experlenced ln school... Matthew dtdn't show hts bottled-up feeltngs ln the same way. He actually
became phystcally tll - stck to hls stomach. It seemed that each ttme he threw up he was getttng rld of some bad moments, He is more voladle, and less stmmerlng by naturc than hts brother... When I was talktng about thls to a fi:lend one day, she told me about slmllar concluslons drawn by A.S. Netll tn hts bestselltng Sunurtrrhfll. The stalT at the now-famous Sum-
6
merhlll School ln England found that
llds who
cafire to them alter betng tn a
tradltlonal school had a pertod of flushtng out llke what we observed ln both our boys... I found lt helpfulJust to back olf from too many derrands durlng thts tkne, and especlally not to push any acaderrdc pr:actlce. Ttrey would practtcally snarl at me sometimes lf I suggested actlvltles that sounded llke school subJects. Mattherv nearly became lll at the stght of anything resembltng school work for a long flme after he left school. We slmply went on about our weryday buslness when the $oomy moods trIt, and dldn't gtrrc up... Our chlldren seem to be past the worst of thls now, though ule srlll see traces of lt fmm tlme to tlme. They are branchlng out In many dlrecflons and are rarely dovm tn thedumps...
TESTING IN FRANCE JUIIe Stllbr wdtes Jrcm
Ftrantce:
I absolutely must c-omment on standardlzed testtng, Please, please, please contlnue to flght agahst lt. Whlle there are many wonderful thlngs about lfdng fn Ftance, the French addlctlon to standardized and psychologfcal testtng ls lnhuman. Thelr system of havtng to pass a master test (the baccalaureate) at age 18 wreaks havoc on thelr young people. The lncldence of sulclde fs hgh, the despatr of theyoungwho cannot pass a "bac'ofhfgh enough dllflculty (there are bacs A, B, C, D, etc.) or 6ren pasll at all ts profound. That the system ls completely lnlledble ls crrel and causeg a great loss ofhuman potenflal to Frcnch soclegr. If you cannot pass the 'bac,'you cannot get a decentJob, and wen lfyou pa.ss, but don't pass the rlght one, you wlll nener have another chance to enter trlgher educatlonal lnstltutions, nerrer have another chance to change professlons or to get another dtploma tn another area of study. I have talked to
students whose llves are'over" at 18, and, more polgnantly, IVe talked to parents who are bttter and despalrtng for thetr
chtldren. We adults would never stand for constant testtng of our work, so we
shouldn't tnlltct tt on our chlldren. It only shows them that the system ls cruel, and doesn't teach them anythtng meaningful. Intellect should not be bound by tJre narmw llmtts of standardlzed tests and human llves should not be rulned because ofa ptece ofpaper.
SHOULD WE INTERVENE IN CHILDREN'S FIGHTS? Natrlcy
Wdlae
(NYJ unltes:
Jan Hunt asked tn GWS #69, 'Why
should lt be easler to lntervene in the mlstreatment of a pet dog than ln that of a chlld?" She was referrtng, I thfnk, to adult rnlstreatment of chlldren, but what about chtldrens mistreatment of each other? I wonder why lt ls so hard for us to Justiff
lnterventng when chtldren flght. The other day several neiglrbors with small chlldren were havlng a plcnlc ln the park across the street from our house,
Whtle the grown-ups sat eaflng and talktng at the far end of the park, a ltttle
boy - llttle but toug;h - knocked one of my Itttle frtends, Seth, to the ground, and began pummeltng htm wtth a sflck. I suppose tt was all cldld's play, as they say, but tn fact there was somethtng very determtned about tt. Seth dtdn't cry out, however, and so I wasn't sur€ I should lnterfere. Just as my resolve was weakentng and I was about to nrn over to lrts atd, Seth's 2 l/2-year-old slster Sarah arrtved, carrytng a blg ball. Herotcally she took
alm at the ltttle brute, wlth errery tntendon ofsavlng her brother, but the bnrte qras too qutck. He leapt up, knocked the ball out ofSarah's arms, and knocked her down as urcll. She bounced back up and
ran for the ball, stlll fully lntent on
llberatlng Scth, The drama went on thls vray, wtth me contlnually tempted to nrn orrcr, only to hesltate as once agatn Sarah performed another act of bravery. Ftnally, the boy lost lnterest tn Seth and Sarah and urandered olf, I uras left wonderlng lf any of the adults had notlced what had gone on and tf so, what they thought. I know that I Jelt dtsgusted wtth mys€lf for stmply standtng there whtle Seth and Sarah were beaten up, but I was genulnely confused about what I tlwrtght, or ougfrt to
be thlnktng.
That amazlng thtng about thls scene, you soe, was not only that baby Sarah was brarrc and loyal, but that thts was the llrst ttme I had ever seen her out of her mother's arms of her own accord. She had been born three months prematurely and had wefghed Just about a pound at blrth. Her mother had stayed wtth her for the three months that she had been ln the hospttal, had breastfed her when she was btg and strong enough to suckle, and had
then carrled her around ever5nvhere.
Sarah dtdn't learn to walk undl she was 2, and erren when she could ventur€ out on her own, she dldn't. If I had tnterfered ln thls scene, I thought to myself, Sarah would nener harrc had the opportuntty to show such lndependence, I urculd have deprlved her of the Job that she, out of love and loyalty, had at least trted to do by
herself. The next day, on my way to the store, I
met Sarah and her mother, Sarah agatn sttttng comfortably ln her mother's arms. Assumtng, I guess, that Sarah's mother had made the declslon to let her children 'work thtngs out' as the other boy went about trytng to massacr€ them, I sald pleasantly (and honestly), 'Wasn't Sarah a llttle herolne yesterday, taktng on that tough ktd wtth only a ball?' Instead of agr€etng wtth me and beamlng proudly at Sarah, her mother satd, 'I nerrer know when to tnterfere.' 'Yes,' I surprtsed nyself by saytng, 'Isn't lt strange the way we put people down for lnternenlng when chlldren ffght on the playground, and yet we thlnk tfs terrlble when no one runs to the ald of a person belng mugged on the street? Why do we treat chtldren so dtfferently from the way we, ourselves, rvould expect to be treated ln vlolent
SUPPORT GROUPS AND
COMMUNITIES VERMONT NEIGHBORHOOD tubbb l<{flfrr
o.f Vemont wdtes:
In reference to the dtscusslon of finding communlt5l in reccnt lssues of GWS: In our search for homeschoollng support and lnteractlon for the ctrlldren, we checked out the GWS Dlrcctoryyearc ago and nodced many homeschooltng famtlies ltsted tn one small town tn Vermont (a rartty, at least serrcral years ago). We vlstted tlre area, met the famllles, and de.ctded to rnove there. Nowwe get together wtth the other homeschoolen, sometlmes r€gularly, somedmes pertodtcally - often we swap chtldren or all take fleld trtps together. For me the most tmportant thtng ts the readlly avallable support, advtce, tdeas, poollng of rcsources, and the fact that other homeschoolfurg parents care about our chlldren and spend ttme wlth them, We all have a gr€at relattonshtp wtth the local school and oftenJoln them during spectal days or for presentadons. In return, our homeschoollng puppet club performs for the school. Ttre school looks at us as great resources and actepts us readrly. In our town of 5OO, wlth about 75 elementaql school chlldr€n, we number 7 homeschoolers (aged 5-13) - not abad
proportion. A frtend of our daughtet's nodced norr nelghbor boys on our road, and when I asked lf they went to school with her, she replted, 'No, they must b€ homeschoolers,' as lf tt uras the normal tlrtng to do, We're so forhrnatel (Actually, the boys Just moved here and condnued gotng to school a couple of towns away,)
HOMESCHOOL CO.OP Caren
frrer (CN writrs:
We are members of a homeschool coop of serrcn famtltes. Each farnlly ts at thls polnt responstble for all of tts own academlcs. We meet trvo days aweek: one day ls a "school' day when there ls a planned acflvlt5r. Some of thesc have been:
worktng wtth a poet, learnlng kntttfng from a Waldorf teacher, and explortng clay wtth a local c=ramlclst. These acuvtues are so wonderful, and the Hds
really enJoy tlrem.
Ttre other day we meet ls usually a Iteld trlp and/or ptcnlc day. We vlstt local places oflnter€st orjust go to the beach and play.
LAND ON B.C. COAST
Barbara IYIcI,earr (566 Morntatn Dr, OceanFalls BC, Vm DO Canoda) wrltes:
I wtsh to extend an lnvltadon to any and all homeschooltng famlltes to
sltuatlons?' I surprlsed myself because I hadn't thought of lt that way undl I satd tt. But It's true. Sarah wlll have plengr of opportunlfles tn her llfe to show lndependenc€, loyalty, and bravery. She didn't need me to stand back and crcatet}re opportuntty for her then.
discolrcr a unlque communlty - Ocean Falls - 35O mlles north of Vancouver on the BC coast. Itwas oncc pulp and pa.per town and ls nowa gfrost town wtth a complete lnfra-structure and hctltttes for a new town. There ls room herc for maybe two to three hundred more people,
GROWING WITI{OTJT SCHOOLINC #7O
HOMESCHOOLING AN ONLY CHILD fulllll
ARE WE DEPRIVING HER? Mg Stern of Alrrska u.r{tes:
are betng wasted, but I do need to
We would appreclate some lnput fmm members of only ctrlld homeschooltng famllies. My husband and I are \rcry happy wlth our cholce to have a stn$e ctrlld, but It rals€s quesflons about homeschooltng that we must answer soon. Caltlln wtll be 5 Just tn tlme to enter ldndergarten next September, and we must declde what to do before then. Interacflons wlth other people have always been very tmportant to Cattltn. Even as a baby she was far more lnterested tn playtng wlth someone her own age than many babtes are. FHendshtps and soclal sltuatlons supercede anythlng else for her: the activltles she most cnJoys are enhanced for her when shard wlth a filend, wen betng read to (one of her very fanorlte occupatlons). We llve thtrty mtnutes' drtve outslde of a small town ln Alaska" and can be qutte lsolated ln the wtnter. There ls no iuch thfng as a nelghbor or nelghborhood here: lt ls a wllderness Mestyle wlth no telephone or easry contact wlth otlrers. Ttrere are no chlldren wfthfn walktng dlstance, and few wlthln close vtstttng dlstance. We earn our ltvlng as commerclal salmon llshers, gilnettfng h the beautlful coastal waters near our home. Actually, th,ls sounds much more unlted an elfort than tt has been. I used to sldpper tlre boat
am alone for a couple of cons€cutirc hours at least two or tluee flmes aweek.
whlle my husband, Mark, worked another
ln the adrrcnture and challenge of the work and contlnued untll I uras forced to qutt fn my efghth month of pr€gnancy. Mark has flshed the boat ever slnce. The all-engagtng, round-the-clock hard urcrk, rougfr urcather, and tough condlflons of urcrklng a flshtng boat are no place for a rrcry young ctrlld. It has always been our dream to flsh together, however, and now that Cattlln ls 4 l/2,we are golng to gPe tt a real try. Cattltn has enJoyed all but one of the school experlences we have carefully selected for her to date, and we removed her from that one tmmedtately when lt became appar€nt that ltwas not a good envlronment for her. She has attended varlous schools on a very part-time basls and has always done a lot of her learntng at home wlth us. But she loves to be wlth other ctrlldren, school has always been a poslflve experlence for her, and my predtctlon ls that she would probably love the local Hndergarten where one of the teachers ts already a frlend to her, her close frlends wlll attend, and there are wonderful toys and equtprnent and group acdvldes that are unavallable at home.
Job. I delfghted
An addtttonal conslderatlon ts that I
am awrlter, and amrrcry serlous about thls ocrrrpaflon. I became an author when Harper and Row publtshed my llrst novel, and have wrltten another novel slnce then whlch needs r€vlslon before tt can flnd a publtsher. IVe been to busy bekrg an acttue mother, gardener, Itshlng support crew, and Just ltvtng ercryday ltfe fully to work at ny wrtting for qulte some tlme. I don t at all feel that my creatlve energles GRO\ryING WTII{OLN
that part of myself that ts only satisfled by thls tntens€ and solttary acUvtty. I slmply cannot work serlously on a novel unless I Unfortunately, there are no other homeschoolers very near to us here, and no support group arrallable. The near€st horneschoollng famlly ls that of an only chtld who, after one year of homeschooltng, ls r€enterlng school next year because he ts lonely and mlsses hls ffends. The ottrer homeschooltng famllles I knonr of tn thts area are both farntUes wlth serreral ctrlldren. The slbltngs are clear$ each other'e best frlends, need no other playmates, and harrc very few. Mark and I feel very cnmfortable about rnaldng the declslon to homeschool Caftlfn, and though she's lntrlgued by the local ktndergarten she's amenable to staylng home stnce weVe always had so much fun together. We've done wonderful proJects together, gone on explortng expedtdons, and had great famtly ttmes' We'rrc also done some extenslrrc traveling durlng whlch we were each other's only constant and best cpmPany. IVe read all the homeschoollng books I've been able to dtscorrcr, as well as many other related boks about ctrtldren, learntng, and sch@ls. I am qultc cpnvlnced that growtng wlthout schoollng would be the best
thlng for Caldfn h many lmportant urays, and llnd that I am qulG challenged by the tdea of taktng on thls creatlrrc and Process rrvlth her.
I agr€e wlth manY GWS wrtters about the negatfirc lnteracdons often present ln schml playground sltuatlons, but think that Cattltn may be one of those luclry ctrlldren for whom school ls a happy place soctally. She has grown from babyhood, playgroups, preschool, etc, wlth mone or less the same chtldren, and has a few solld
frtendshlps, tncludtng one best-ftlend relatlonshtp, already. These chtldren wlll all be gotng to school and I fear that
Caltlln, ln betng homeschooled, wtll
somehow be left behtnd by them soctally. I
thtnk my need for wrlthg tlme, the need that both Mark and I feel (that Cdtlln
s€erns not to, yeQ for ttme alone, and nrany other problems ratsed by homescholtng can be worked out. I Just don't want to deprlve rny happy daughter ofthe companlonshlp she needs and enJoys so much. There are only two answers I've been able to llnd so far. The first ts getflng Caltltn together wlth her frlends after schol and on weekends as much as posslble. Thls ls problematlc tn the wlnter stece our hours ofdayltght are so very short that chtldren go to and retum from
school tn darkness. Drlving condlflons are dtfflcult. Also, several of these children are from worktng famllles whose weekends are thelr only farntly time, and I'm not sure how avatlable these chlldren are for soctallztng wlth peers then. The other oPPortuntty I see for Caltlln ts soc'tallztng wlth adults. She already has serrcral dtllerrnt adult frtends and teachers, and we wlll cpndnue to lnvohrc tn her Me as many of the wonderful, talented
SHOOLING #70
people of thts placc as we can. Ttuough Iorrnally paylng for sesslons wlth people
who have a passlon for a partlcular thtng, and by stmply tnvolvtng Caltltn tn our adult acttvlttes and relatlonshlps, we can contlnue to make thls world avallable to her. But when, and wlth whom, rrrlll she play the group ctrlldren's games she loves: Farmer ln the Dell. Duck Duck Goose, etc.? And how wlll she meet new chlldren to befrtend, lrung the relattvely tsolated Me we do?
We'd parflcularly lrke to hear from only chlldren who are bekrg homeschooled. Are you lone$? Do you feel left out of the fun chlldren have together ln groups? How do you llnd frtends? We arc relatfircly certaln that we wtll declde to homeschool Cdtltn next fall, but tt would help to have some of our conc.erns addressed, some of our questlons answered.
RESPONSES AND SUGGESTIONS We aslcd aa uple ototler lome'
schoolerc wfth onlg cl'tlldrcn to respord to Ceflg's letter. For nore letters on the subJect, see Gl{4S #53. FTrst, jfrom Jan Hwtt (ON:
I wrote a slmllar letter to GWS when our son Jason, now 8, was 4. I was feeltng overwhelmed by trrs dellghdul but tnccssant comments and questlons and wondered how (wtthout resorttng to schools) I would ever have any ttme to myself. A homeschoollng frlend whose only chtld was then 7 assured me that I was actually nearing the end of the 'no free ttme for Mom- perlod. Now Ican assure gouthat 4 {s the last stretch of that era- Now that Jason ls 8, I have lots of tlme for myself (I almost satd 'enough' flme - but there was nwer enough ltme bJore he was boml) These days I someHmes stoP what I'm dotng to seek hlrn out. I know tt's dilncult for mothers who haven't expertenced any age Past 4 to bellerre that thtngs wlll ever change. How unforhrnate that schools enter the Plctur€ at thts parflcular tlme when mothers are most tempted to use such r€adtly available substltute help. So, ln terms of your need for personal tlme, I'd say: be paffent thtngs wtll change soon. In the meantime, you mlght try my soludon: I hlred a wonderful teenager to play wlth Jason whlle I was also at home, worklng on my own proJects. I was luclcy - she was homeschoollng and avatlable durlng the day, But you could try thls soluflon at other ttmes, lf necessaqr. Whenever I hear a parent conslderlng school fcr the reason of goclallzaUon e\ren a parent ln your slhraflon - my flrst thought ts, 'What soclallzatlon?' The only good soclallzatlon I remember frrom my school days took place outstde of school, after school hours, on weekends, and ln the surnrner. Gotng to school for the tlny amount of soclallzatlon tt provtdes ts hke gofng to a bad movle for aI that soclallzadon at the popcorn counter. School ls a very lnellclent way to flnd real frtendshtp.