GROWING WITHOUT SCHOOLING
23 I've just come back from a ten day trip to eight U.S. cities, doing many TV, radio, and newspaper inter views about TEACH YOUR OWN and home education. The trip went well - so far we've gotten about 200 requests for information, and they're still coming in fast . On Sept. 30 I'll be on the "Good Morning America" TV show along with the Tromblys of Con necti cut (not Sept. 22 as first scheduled.) I was able to take part in two home-schoqler meetings on this trip: a conference north of Seattle, and a potluck supper in Chica~o . My publish ers say they are willing to put me on the road some more; I'm thinking of going to Eastern cities like Philadel phia, Washington, and Baltimore, as well as Detroit, Cleveland again, Denver, perhaps to Texas and still ot her states. Any GWS readers who would like to arrange meetings, pub lic events, etc., on this trip, should contact us right away . (For some suggestions on organizing such events, see page 15 of this issue.) My three-week trip to the West, Hawaii, New Zealand, and Australia was a big success and a lot of fun. plan to write more about it in GWS #2 4. Peggy has just finished proof reading the galleys for the revis ed edition of HOW CHILDREN FAIL,. and now it's my turn to go over them. Dela corte will publish the book in the spring of '82 . So far we've seen good revi ews of TEACH YOUR OWN in Psychology Today and the Wall Street Journal. We're starting to hear from people who've read the book a nd are becoming GWS subscribers - we welcome them to the GWS family. Donna reports. that we are get ting many more l ette rs than usual from people who have just started teaching their children at home, or who have been doing s~ for some time and didn't know GWS existed. Of course, we're delighted to hear more and more of these success stories, many of which you ' ll find in this issue. --- J ohn Holt
COMING SCHEDULE Octobe r 29, 1981: Panel discus sion, "Educati onal Choice," Committee on Education, State House, Boston MA. Jan 27, 1982: Kennesaw Junior College , Marietta GA. 9 AM. Co nt act Kathleen Gildea, 404-422-8770 x 268. Feb 12: Waterloo County Teachers Professional Development, Kitchcner Valhalla Inn, Cambridge, Ontario . Con tact Pamela Constable, Glenview Park Secondary School. Mar 13: Indianapolis Council of Preschool Cooperatives, Indianapolis IN. Contact Sally Zweig, Conf . Chair . , 317-257-8275.
Mar ' 17-26: Stockholm and six ot her Swedish cities. Arranged by Ake Bystrom, Linkdping, Sweden. (We also hope to arrange engagements in Den mark, England, Iceland, and possibly other countries.)
LEARNING WITH HER SON From Brenda Cowell, 1814 Giant
St, Toledo OH 43613:
.. . My son, Kale, stayed out of school last fall, not so much because I had proof that home was better for him, but because I did have proof that school had not been good for me . In such a place of increased tension and anxiety, I had felt much loneli ness, fear, and uncertainty ... Although I learned to play the intel lectual ~ame quite well as a ~Grade A" s tudent, I never learned to devel op or trust my own r easoning capabili ties and intuition. .. . Last fall then, determined to find a better way, I kept Kale home, and slowly my whole co nception of learning changed. In working with him in a more natural setting, learning became a way of satisfying a ravenous hunger to know - insects and dragons, elec tricity and t oo ls, Spanish and English, the Renaissance ... They all became real , fascinating tools to grow by. For myself, I recovered a nearly lost art, the art of asking ques tions, of wondering and searching for answers. J know things about 01' Christopher Columbus that they never mentioned in school, and I ' ve learned how to keep a daily journal and led ger for my home business. Most impor tant to me, I've learned to trust myself. I write this then for all of you who have suffered from similar school withdrawal symp toms, hoping you too will let your children learn at hom e, not just for their growth, but to open your ow n rusty doors and get to know that curious child in your own mind . . .
THE REASON WHY Penny Nesbit (IN) wrote: .. . When a reporter called to ask
if he could wri te about us, my hus
band, Pete, was out of town. I called
our attorney to get some advice about
whether it was safe now to come out
in the open and he said that he
thought it would be OK as long as we
did not specifically condemn the
local schools. When Pete returned the
day of the interview, he also warned
me about the dangers of being too
ou tsp oken . So - I was surprised and
tickled when he answere d the repor
ter's questionabout why ,,;e took
Peterson out of school by saying,
"Because we wanted him educated~" ...
IN THE ADULT WORLD From Elaine Mahoney (MA) - see
"Success Story: Cape Cod," GWS #11,
and "From Barnstable Schools," #15:
... We are now in our 4th year of home study and it gets better every year . STILL NO TESTING'! Kendra, 13 years old now, is an apprentice in a sewing machine repair shop. A family friend owns a repair shop and has been graciously sharing her knowledge and skill. Kendra enjoys spending time at the shop and is learning by
doing. She answers the phone, waits on customers, makes bank deposits, and is learning the general mainten ance and repair of sewing machines. She is also following an interest in herbs, and is scheduled to take a Red Cross course in first aid. Kimberlee, now 11 years old, is doing wonderful ly well . She participated in the Northeast Seal Census program, went to the Dinosaur State Park in Connec ticut, and has been recycling alumin um for both profit and concern ' for the environment ...
KEEPING LEARNING RECORDS Karen Cox (MI) wrote: . .. We stopped overnight at the home of anot h er home-schooling family in Ohio. Anna-Lisa had become acquain ted with their daughter when . they got hooked up as pen pals through Hostex News about a year ago . It was a love ry-visit, reminding us that there really are good, peaceful, loving folks out there. ... While we were in Ohio I was ' asked, as I often am, how I structure our 4ay. There are still, as you know, lots of home-schooling parents who feel extremely nervous unless they cover a certain amount of the "basics" eac h day or week. Sometimes ·this nervousness evaporates after some experience, but for others it does not . Sometimes pressure from a spouse or other relative keeps the nervousness alive even after a couple of years of successful living togeth er with kids - outside schools. And many people, especial l y if they have NOT had teaching expe ri ence, have been so totally schooled that they can't believe their kids will be pre pared for life unless someone insists that they do a certain amount of read ing, writ ing and arithmetic each day. I'd like to tell you what I do. It answers the need for written rec ords for official purposes. Also, when I've rec ommended it to friends it has had the effect of allowing the parents to relax. I buy old-fashioned big blue lesson-plan books, one [or each child. Having taught, many years ago, in a very traditional school, I know this kind of book is just the kind of thing school administrators like. On the columns I p ~ t headings which, un like traditional headings, I have found t o be very flexible, workable categories . The headings (some of which extend over two or three col umns) are: 1) Reading/Writing/Graphic Think ~. On a typical day, the entries in a six-year-old' s book might be " "T HE LION, THE WITCH, AND THE WARDROBE" (the asterisk indicating it had been read to the child), and "Pencil sketches of horse and barn." 2) Logical Thinkin~/Math . Exam ple entries: "Simpl e ad ition: oral problems set and answered. Practical app l ication : adding pennies needed to huy stamp . " 3) Knowled~e of Physical and Social World. ·r is one is easy and the possibilities are practically in fini Le. In this cat.egory can he inclu ded everything that might fall under the headings of biology, botany, zoo logy, career education, environmental studies, community studies, geo graphy, geology, dramatic play, etc . 4) Musical Thinking. In this category are included everything from "List ening" and the name of the rec ord , to "Group Singing," with or wi th out names of some of the songs we
2 sang together in the car . It can, of course, include notations about piano lessons, dance classes, co ncerts attended, etc., but it's not just for formal lessons. The categories ara not, of course, what make the activities. They are simply baskets into which we can toss such activities. Lots of peo ple feel better when they can see the full baskets, never mind what 's in them. Let me make it clear that I do not think that keeping such reco~ds makes me better at the business of growing with my children . No r doe~ it make any difference to what the child ren actually do wit h their time. These r ecords are kept after the fact, not before. They simply record what we do. The children are not aware of the categories and feel, rightl y, that I keep them for my own sake . It makes no diff e rence to them that riding horses with a friend has been included und e r "Knowledge of Phys ica 1 and Soc ial World." Nor do they care that cutting the muffi n r ecipe in half has been recorded as "Frac tions- Di vi s ion 1Pr ac t ica 1 App li cation: Recipe adjustment and prepara tion of adjusted recipe." It soon becomes obvious that ther e are fa r too many wonderful things happening each day to ever write them all down. But getting everything down is not the point eitn er. For many of my friends, these rec ords have had the value of proving to them that their children were, in deed, l earning . Even though they weren't doing a set number of work book pages each day and keeping a journal, they were learning and grow ing. In fact, it. could be seen (point ed t o on paper for faint-hearted rela tives) that the children we re actual ly doing a great deal more than would have been possible in a classroom . How many 4th grade teachers h ave, as part of tHerr lesson plans, not ed that the children: read A WRIN KLE IN , TIME; heard a chapter of Tolki en ' s LORD OF THE RINGS; received a l etter from a friend in Japan; dis cussed Japan, especially Kyoto; lis tened to Jean-Pi e rre Rampal's Japan ese music for flut e an d harp; went to the library to look at a reference book on Japanese costumes; wrote a postcard to Japanese friend; mailed postcard after discussing with post al clerk time it would take' to arriv e and how Japanese mail carriers could read the address written in English and whether all mail carrie rs can read lots of languages a nd why " sur face mai l" is called that and is so much slower in winter when the Great Lakes are frozen? There was more t o that day' And, of course it's not a "typical" day" since th ere is no such thing. It might hav e lncluded working wlth a potter or helping hang a door or taking a diseased branch to the county extension department. The po int is thi s : The structure of learning is no t in the curriculum guidelines, nor in the teacher's plan book, nor in th e workbook . The struc ture is in the world. As the children l earn about their world, they are understanding its order, in the only way that makes sense to them . And the first time an adult believes that, whet her they've used a big blue plan book o r not, the sun breaks through ...
NEWS FROM ORGANIZATIONS Mary Bergman of the HOME EDUCA TORS NEWSLETTER sent us her new add ress: Rt 3 Box 324 S, Gallatin MO
64640; phone 816-663-3793 ($2 . 501 iss., $17. 50/yr) ... Harold Ingraham of the I NDEPENDENT FAMILY SCHOOLS RESOURCE CENTER now has a pricelist of materials, including a legal manu al, $10; a curriculum manual, $7; and a resource list of publishers, schools, etc., $5. Address: Box 95, RD 1; Smyrna NY 13464 • .. Wendy Priesnitz (Box 640, Jarvis, Ont o NOA IJO) is looking for someone to take over the CANADIAN HOME ' SCHOOLER news letter'- she cannot continue with it past the end of 1981 ... Pat Montgom ery of HOME BASED EDUCATION PROGRAM ( 1289 Jewett, Ann Arbor MI 48104 ) just sent a "r ed alert " urging all Michigan families to call the State Dept. of Ed. and the Attorney General about some possible restrictions to be placed on home-schoolers. Contact her for ~ore info ... The newsletter of H.O.U.S.E., the Illinois home schooling group, is 9-11 pages full of resources, announcements, legal info, and learning tips. For a copy, send a long SASE with 2 stamps to Deb Martin, 22 W 231 71st St, Naperville IL 60540 ... Our "H ome Schoolin Resource List," $1 . 00, has theists of correspondence schools and home schooling groups that we've been printing in various issues of GWS, all on one page. Also, Ed Wilhelm (550 Mountain Av, Roanoke VA 24016) has entered our list of 40 or so home schooling groups in his computer; if you would like this list printed on address labels, send him $4 ... Peter son Nesbit just told us that he and Penny spoke to a group of 20-30 Indi ana families about unschoolin~ . The Nesbits (65 Oak Meadow, Evansville IN 47711) wrote a good summary of the legal situation in Indiana; we're sure they'd send it to other families in the state~ especially those who enclose 50¢ or $1 to cover postage and copying .. . Kentucky unschoolers had a state-wide picnic in August and plan to do so annu,ally . Contact Ruth McCutchen or Patti Van Buskirk ... And Nancy Plent sent us a notice of a picniC for unschoolers in her area he ld o n the first day of school, at 11 AM' ... --- Donn a Richoux
f
GOOD NEWS FROM COLORADO An Arizona re a der sent us a clip ping about a Colorado State Board of Educa tion proposal to regulate pri vate schools; we sent a copy t o the three home-sch ooling groups in Colora~ do . Nancy Dumk e in Denver just wrote : ... We were not aware of the impending hearing until,you se nt the artic l e . Immediately after rec e iving It, we receiv ed phone calls from home schoo ling support groups in Pueb l o a nd Ft . Collins . Sandra Warriner a nd I atten ded the hearing on Sept. 10, and were amazed nnd delighted by the turnout - there were over 400 people there, and I' m sure thal the size of the group helped to defeat the regula tions. [ After three hours of testi mony, the board voted 3-2 to kill the proposal. J The r elig i ous groups in atten dance were extremely well organ lzed, and many were represented by lawyers ... From a Denver Post article about the hearing that Nancy sent: . .. William Ball, an attorney for
the Association of Christian Schools
International, which he sald conslsts
of 1,300 schools with 235,000 pupils,
led off the attack with the assertion
that, "The proposed new rules are flatly unconstitutional." They would create "entanglements" between the state and religious schools which have been forbidden by the U.S . Supreme Court, he said. Furthermore, he added, "There is no educational or social crisis imposed by the non-public schools. To impose these regulations, the state would have to show that such exists . " .. .
FROM TEXAS From Diane Elder (235 Kay ton, San Antonio TX 78210) who arranged the radio interview with John that we mentioned in GWS #22: ... We hav e gotten only positive responses and are still getting ~hone calls from interested fami lie s . My husband and I have taped another interview which will probably be on sometime in October ... That interview also went well . We are " out of the closet" now and it feels very good. As far as my research reveals, we have been able to cover all the legal requirements by spending less than $50 and a little time and ener gy . I've put together a packet of information on starting a home school in Texas. I~'s about 22 pages and includes: articles of incorporation, by-laws, letters I've written to authorities and responses I've got ten, curriculum, phone numbers, addresses, and step-by-step instruc tions. I'd like to share it with any one interested in sending $2 (for postage and copying) to The Witte Ter race School [ address above]. .. . As far as I know, this com plies with all Texas law. However, we must all be aware that the schools can harrass us by taking us to court any time they want. The state attor ney general says his office would be very reluctant to prosecute because the law is so vague . Very good for us' Some of us are trying to orga n ize a hom e schooli ng association in orde r to provide sup port and give i nforma t ion . I'll keep yo u informed on how that progresses. ... Some folks are interested in lobbying for favo rable leg i s lati on . My opinion is that that would be a foolish mistake . Right now Texas has no law governing home schooling. The private school l aws are very vague and fairly easy to comply with Sl nce accreditation is not mandatory, nor are certified teachers ... I have no intenti on of going before anyone to ask permission or justify what I'm do ing. I suspect that the desi re for "favorabl e legislation" comes out of our own ins ecu rity and need for some one to tell us that what we're doing is OK ... [ JH: I agree . J
10-YEAR-OLD HELPER From Helene Van Manen (CO) : ... One of the main problems at ou r home-schooling meetlngs was car ing for the c hildren during the meet ings. The kids range in age from a few weeks to 6 nnd most are toddlers. Although they have a great time play ing, reading books , coloring, a nd so on, somone always needed to go potty, have a drink of ~ate r, etc . So last month I found a neighbor hood g lrl who's 10 years old and loves children. She has come to our last two meetings and cares [or the children so we can share ideas, lis-
GROWING WITHOUT SCHOOLING #23
3 ten to readi ngs from books we've found, etc . The children love her in return and resp ond well to her. She'll play games and sing songs with them plus if they need to go potty she can handle that also . I'm ama zed at how she can care for the 7-10 month olds who are only crawling . She ' ll just lug a baby around with her while s he comforts a 2- yea r-old who's scraped a knee. True continuum' We ha ve a jar that each parent puts a contribution in to pay f o r her services ~ nd ~he a l ways goes away with a fair share. Don't get me wrong - I'm not opposed to having childre n at meet ings - but this arra ng ement helps all th ose pare nts t o co nc entrate and share for at least a few minutes with out a million int er rupt io ns . I'd love t o hea r how o th er groups handle this s i tu a t i on . . .
NEW DISEASE-"SCHOOL PHOBIA" From an article titled, "Wh y Some Children Pa nic As The School Year Begins," in the Bos t o n Globe, 8/31/81 :
... A common fear, sch oo l phobia affects children of all ages . Accord ing to mental hea l t h wo rk ers and scho o l per so nnel, how eve r, it is most pr eva lent in th e 6 to 9 and 12 to 14 yea r o ld age groups. Ironically, say pr ofessionals, it usually ha s little or no thing to do with sc hool but i s a refl ec ti o n of some conflict withi n the c hild o r family. ... "In cases where a child is go ing t o kindergart e n of first grade, le av ing hom e can be a very disturbing step," says Raymo nd Levy, Cambridge psychologist and clinical f ellow at t he Mt . Auburn Hospital: " Th e issue here is the actual separ a tion from the parents, and sometimes in school phobic children, there is a s e ns e of pare n ta l collusion involved . "Some parents, usually mothers," Levy e xplains, "g o thr ough their own separation anxiety. For th o s e wh ose identity and self-esteem is w,apped up in motherhood, a'child's leaving can present a threat t o the mother's sense of self . She may fear that when h er c h ild l~ aves s he will no longer have a purpose in life." According to Levy, a mother can . unwittingl y commun icate her own anxiety t o the child who, in tur n , senses that ther e is something to fear in th e world ou t side . When a child devel o ps phy sical symptoms or does not seem to be ad justing to school after two weeks, it's a clear sign that the child needs to remain close t o home in order to have a sense of control over hi~ or her .world . If physical symp toms persist, the child should be seen by a physician . If physical causes are ruled out, then it might be time to consult the school psychol ogist or a mental health pr ofess i ona l. .. . What precipitates school pho bia? An unusua l event occurring with in the past few months; the birth of a sibli ng or a death in the family; or fam il y a nd marital problems are possib l e causes . When Kirstin Paulsen of Glouces ter was in t he four t h grade, her par e nt s we r e i n th e pr ocess of separa ting, a nd Ki r stin decided, after Christmas vacation, that she didn't wa nt to go back to school . "I used t o put up a grea t b ig fight ~very morn ing, " says t he girl, now 12, " and my mom used t o have to t r ick me into g oing . " GROWING WITHOUT SC HOOLING #23
Kirstin's mother recalls, "My husband and I were having prob l ems , and there was a lot of f r iction in th e house . Then Kirstin began saying she didn't want to go to school. First, she complained that she didn't like her teacher. Then s he said the work was too difficult . We'd have t hese hid eous fig hts in the morning, a nd I'd lite r ally push her out th e door. Sometimes I ' d find her, an hour later, h iding in the bar n. Then I 'd drive her to school. I just didn't knO\" wha t to do ." Paulsen spoke to the principal at Kirstin's school, "but he wasn't much help," s h e says . "Th e n, toward the end of th e sc hoo l yea r, they started talking about holding her back because she ' d had so many abse nces (37 between Decem ber a nd June) . I really' did n ' t think that was the answer because, some how, she had managed to keep up academ i ca ll y . So I convinced them to let he r go on ." The following year , things at home improved, but her mother decided to take Kirstin to a therapist . "W e \vent only a cou ple of times, " she .says, " but we talked a lot about her fat h er ' s leaving . The therapist told Kir~tin if it l oo ked as If I cou ldn ' t control her and she didn't start going to sc hool more reg ularly, there was a possibility she 'd be taken away [rom me . She was very angry about that, but it did get her back to school . " ... After trying to calm a child's fears, parents must ma ke it clear that staying home from school is not an op t ion . " S ince th e fear is internal and not really sc hoo l r e l a t e d," says Raymond Levy, " allow ing th e child t o s tay a t home won ' t help . It will o nl y prolong the anxi ety ." "Th e sc hools need t o be ·f lexibl e in these Situations," says Rockport teacher-principal Selma Bell. "We try t o work wit h th e pa rents when it appears that a child might be school phobic. Sometimes parents come in r eady to blame us for their child ' s fear but usually th ey 're very coope ra tiv e and seem to welcome our he l p. " .:. [ DR: 1 So now another l abe l is creepi ng into the schos l jargon . Just as kids w h ~ don't do well in school are labeled "l ear ning disabled" a nd "hav ing minimal brain disorders, " and r es tl ess kids ar e labeled. " hyperac tive," (and thereby very handily cre ating lots of jobs in Special Educa tion during a time of excess teach e r s) , now kids who don't like school \"ill be labeled "schoo l phobic, " and "treated " fo r this "illness." And what is at the r oo t of this illness' Why, th e family life, of course. The s t o ry abou t Kirstin is abso lutely incredible . First of a ll, no credence was given to her complaints about th e' t eac h e rs or the work . Second, all th ose absences didn ' t seem to hurt he r education one bit . In the third place, the threat of ·be ing taken away from her own familr for what good reason? - was final y used to get her to go back to school . And finally, the whole t h i n g was blamed on marital problems between her parents, which seems absurd millions of kids whose pare n ~s have marital problems stil l go t o schoo l . In fact if her home l ife was so terri ble, woul dn't it be just as likely f o r Kirstin to escape it by going to school' Any therapist who deals with "sch oo l phobic" kids and does not know that home-schooling is a legal
o pt io n needs to be e du cated himself. If you start seeing articles like this in newspapers and maga zines, we h ope you will write letters of dis ag r eement, loud and strong, a nd that you ' ll send us a ctipy. If you teach your kids at home 'or are plan n ing to do so , you ' d better be pre pared t o deal with accusatio ns and hints that you are " sick " or suffe r ing from " separation anxiety ." And if the school people start . in on you wit h full forc~, you will need all the strength you can find t o resist these "experts." Challenge their statements - what research do the y have to back up t heir state ments' What kind of track record do~ they have treating "school-phobic" c hildr e n ' Why are the teache r s and sc h oo ls to be held blameless' Stic k to your conviction that you 'r e OK, your child is OK, i t ' s the education al system that has problems. And of course, get your child . out of there as soon as you possibly can. The following letter is a moving accou nt of a family ' s experience with so-called " sc h ool-p hobia . "
"SCHOOL PHOBIC" SON From Marcia Farrah, 119 Reser
voir, Newington CT 06111:
... Towards the spr i~ g of s~cond grade, we had to push our son to sc hool eac h day. We did not find out until summer that the teacher had embarrassed him several times in front of the class a nd was keeping him in a t recess to finish his work so he was missing that kind of outlet during th e day he so bad ~ y n eede d . ... During the summer we soug ht a dvice from a social wo rk er who said he might have to be placed on medica tion when he started baGk in th e fall. I couldn't believe this a nd flatly sai d " No . " . . . When the first day of school arrived he was terrified and would no t go . Foolishly I phoned the social wo rker who a rriy ed and told us he had to go or we would l ose all co ntr ol-.- Against o ur most heart fe lt beliefs we dragg e d him down . We slapped him. My husba nd threw him over his shoulder and when th e principa l met t8em at th e door a nd t ook hold of our .son' s hands he kick ed her and r an home . We r eca ll that d ay wit h ho rr or . My hu s band will n eve r forgive himse l f for doi ng what he did to Ou r so n because someone who should know didn't . We kn ow our son a nd it was wrong . We'll never again betray hi m t o the "sy s tem . II
Of course, we had no alternative at th is pOint but to consult a psychi atrist. Our son, by now, was threaten ing suicide i f h e had to go to school. His behavior became erratic and uncontrollable wit h terrible out bursts o f temper and rage and then he would cry and be very depressed. The psychiatrist sugges t ed Mella ril and/or hospitalizati on . My hus band was .a damant that we do neither. Thank God' We are 5 0 grateful th at we had the presence of mind no t t o be taken in by this . Unfortunately, we had to keep th e doctor in o rder to get home-bound tut o ring. If onl y I had known about GWS at this time, we would have been spared mo nths of anguish . The home - bound tutoring we nt on until January .. . My hus band was li vid when they were waiting for him one day to inform him of te,mination of the tutoring, du e t o a false ~ccusa tion by the tutor that we had kept
4 our son out of school for seve ral days when he was not sick . My husband most beautifully met their every threat with a better one, as he had looked up the law and by this time had read many of your articles and books. Because of my husband ... we received a very polite call from the head of the tutoring program saying our son could continue as he was until another PPT meeting was sched uled. At this meeting, my husband again insisted that the hour of tutor ing ' per day be kept, and it was granted. We are ready to move if need be. I will not stay here and be subjected to this again next year' We are hop ing to get ' through this year on our terms. I have called and met with Jean ine Lupinek (whose na~e I got through your directory ) and others at her home. What a delight to be with these women who laughed when I told them about the "school-phobic" label given my son. They couldn't believe the hor r ors we'd been subjected to. Jeanine has been most helpful and is a lovely person ... You can't imagine what a wonder ful feeling it is to know that we have an alternative, that the son we love is not "crazy," and there is a way out of this awful mess other than medication, hospitalization, etc . God bless you all ... MOVED BY GWS From Carol Lambert (AK):
... Am ( the only person who cries while reading GWS? I ask myself this every time I get a copy and find mys~f sitting at the kitchen table, after everyone else is in bed, shed ding tears of relief over story after story of how someone bent back the bars and burst out of a cage; and tears because I am touched by the small acts of compassion and under standing I read ,about here; and tears of sadness, too, I guess, for myself and others who spent a lot of time feeling cowed and lonely, awkward and unvalued, in schools and o th e r places we found 'o urselves as kids. Read ing GWS always evokes deep emo ti ons for me: the whole spectrum. I am a lways refreshed when I put it aside, and itching for the moment when I can leave my full-time work anq wo rk my way into the relaxation of hom e schooling with our son ... TIME TO RENEW Please stop and look at the com puter label on the back of this issue, or on the manila envelope if you receive a group subscription. Hun dreds of you have subscriptions that are about to expire, so now is the time to make sure you will continue to get GWS without interruption. You~ label looks something like this:
12345 JOHN & MARY SMITH 16 MAIN ST PLAINVILLE NY
@
01 01 24 01111
The number that is circled in the example above tells the number of the final issue for the subscription . The Smit hs' sub expires with Issue #24, the next - issBe' But if they hurry and extend their subscription
now, the Smiths will qualify for the free bonus issue for early renewal. Please don't make us bite our fingernails over this. If that number in the second line of your label is 23, 24, 25, etc, and you know you want to keep getting GWS, why not renew now? Rates will never get any cheaper. And if you extend for two or three years instead of just one, you'll save money and not have to worry again about renewal for that much longer . Renewal rates are the same as for new subscriptions: $15 for 6 issues, $24 for 12 issues, or $30 for 18 issues. Make check (US bank) or money order payable to GROWING WITH OUT SCHOOLING, and send to 729 Boylston St, Boston MA 02116. Thanks. Also, if you are in charge of a group sub, you might write a message like "Sub ends with #24" on all the issues you send out'.
REWARDS AND CONCERNS From Marti Mikl (AZ):
.. . Most of the "teaching" has fallen to me . Though I manage two com panies from our home, my time is much more flexi~le than Mike's. The big gest problem I am faced with'is try ing to overcome 4~ years of Darris' boredom with conventional learning . It's quite a challenge to, try and make the necessary subjects interest ing . One of the most rewarding aspects of home schooling is watching Darris become, once again, happy, secure, sensitive, cr~ative, interest ed in learning, and other such good things that gradually "got lost" as his dislike for school deepened . He had always 'been bright enough to bluff his way through school with very good grades, but the overwhelm ing boredom with the classroom situa tion had turned him into a sullen, tense, and very grouchy young man. The other very rewarding aspect is knowing that he is really grasping things, real~y learning. At school, he just tune everything out to the point that his lack of proficiency in the basic skills was appalling ... One thing that totally baffles me is that so many home schooling families (f r om l ette rs I have read in GWS) seem t o let th eir children "do their own thing" wit hout any sched uled program of learning. I like this idea in th eory, but ca n't understand how it will result in a well-rounded education . I can 't imagine any typi cal child "ch oosi ng" to learn multi plication facts . And yet, in our opi nion, they must_ke l ear ned, as well as the proper way to function with the English language a nd other sub jects taught in the public schools. My approach is flexible and nonrigor ous but, a t the same time, structured. Another thing I'm curious about is that so many people whose letters have appeared in GWS seem t o have absolute genius children wh o have an insatiabl e appetite for learning everything and everyt hing , have none of the usual c hildho od shortcomings, have no interest in TV or playing, and are years ahead of their count er parts in every aspect . Are these peo ple for real ? Darris is a typical 10 year old and, if left to his own choice, would play or watch TV most of the time . We don't necessarily want or expect our h ome sch ooling sit uation to turn him into a "super kid." Maybe someone could respond to these questions.
... Darris is learning at home from experiences there just ' weren't time for when h~ was in school . On a weekly basis, he does his own laun dry, including washing and changing the sheets on his bed . Nearly every day, he cooks something; today, he made brownies from scratch, with prac tically no help from me. He learns about spelling simply by knowing that I frequently look up words in the dictionary "just to be sure." ( I involve him by asking if he knows the cor'r ect spelling.) Recently, he has become enthralled with sculpting clay and is really quite talented. What a change from the days when he was gone from home nine hours a day ... At times, I miss the hours of solitude I used to have, but am glad to exchange that luxury for a happy, contented, better-educated child. Besides, Darris is a very interesting person and I enjoy his company. ... We would be very happy to help other interested families in the Phoenix,area ... We are very glad that we decided, in the beginning, to approach this venture honestly and aboveboard. Since we have official approval from the District School Board, we are free to talk about our home schooling situation with friends and acquaintances. We have been over whelmed that, even though people are stunned at first, the large majority verbally applaud what we are doing. I sincerely sympathize with ' home school ing families who have to hide ... In her reply, Donna wrote: ... 1 had to smile a little, see ing your paragraph about superkids and then immediately following, the paragraph about all the things Darris is doing now that he's free of school . .. If we printed that one para graph all by itself in GWS. some par ents out there in readership-l a nd would, like you, throw up their hands and say "A ten-year-old doing his laundry every week, and making brown ies from scratch' And 'talented at sculpting' ~ kid is just ordinary, never like iliat." ... I think you are assuming that a kid who can do A, B, and C, must be a genius who can do D, E, F through Z, and nev er , never has any pr ob l ems . Even though you kn ow (a nd I kn ow, from what you saia-rn your Tetter) that a child ca n do some things that are usually considered amazing for his o r her age whil e still doing o th e r things that worry ~.
Just because we don't mention in GWS what problems a kid has doesn 't mean th e kid doesn't hav~ any prob l ems ' ... The reason why we print (a nd will co ntinu e to print) stories about c hildr e n doing things normally consid e r e d impossi ble for their age, is bec a use we want to challe nge those assumptions, to show that they a r e not necessa rily true. Society has a picture of what is proper behavior fo r a c hild - and remember, that pic ture c ha nges over time, and from cul ture to culture. Not so long ago, young people we re considered much more responsible and capable than they are today . A woman lKaren Franklin ] wrote r ece ntly that her son was ' the offi cial egg-cracker. for the family cook ing lon before he was two ea rs old. Now, I in t at ascinating - I can picture a four-year-old breaking a raw e gg OK. maybe a 3 year old, but somehow my imagination stops at 2. Yet should I say this woman is wrong?
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5 No . Th e only alternative is to cut away another small c hink in mY,mental picture of what a l~ year old is sup posed to be capable of .. .
THEIR OWN PACE From Jeanne Finan in Virginia:
· . . r hope we can all maintain our awareness that the loveliest thing about hom e schooling is that chi ldr e n can move at their own pace . If a c hild l ea rn s to read at age 3, bravo' If a c h ild l ear n s to read at age 8, bravo! I think we sometimes tend to want our children t o achieve miraculous feats; educational and o th erwise , to " prove " that 'oJe are doing the right thing . We love th e time with ou r child ren (my hu sba nd and 1 are fortunate t o work at home so we are together a great deal ) and though [ do admit I beam wi th at least inn e r pride that our two love t o learn and " study," my heart si ng s when I see that they can s t op at any moment . The y can run in the ~oods a n y ti me of day, play in th e sand box whe never the mood strikes them, create their ow n schedules. We lose the children inside ou rselv es so easily and quickly in this society ; I lov e home-scho oli ng because it a ll ows ou r child r en to be just that - child r en' .. . GIMMICKS VS. REAL LIFE From Louise Andrieshyn (Ma n. ) : · .. 1 think that you should point out that measuring "pr ojects " are stil l gimmicks, and though kids migh t be l ess bored by them than math wo rk books, parents s hou ldn ' t expec t their k ids to actually want to do such pr ojects . . . Ther e-rs-no better pro gram than real l ife, and the r e is no program less than that, that my kids will do joyfully. · .. My kids love doing math and are adept at it, not because they do workbooks (t hey don ' t), ' and not because I think up exciting projects (I don't), but simply because they are constantly dealing with eve r yday life which i s full of malh questions and calls for l ots of math experiment ation . The idea of kids being interest ed in their heights . Yea h, well . . . for a birthday card Lisey got a "gr owth cha rt" and th e kid s all meas ured their heights an d pr omp tly for got them . But, about the same time we found out that for the swimming les sons Heidi and Michael wanted to t ake, you had to measure 40" at the chin. We discovered this whe n Michael wasn 't arou nd , so Heidi and [ tried to est i mate Michael ' s acceptabi lity. She f ig ured he was a head shorter than herself . so if we measured her to the chin and subtracted " a head " we'd have Michael 's measurement . Tt came ou t to l ess than 40" - and she was quite worried unti 1 Michael came home and she measured him and found the ac tual measurement "as over 40" . (Proba bly the "h ea d" she subl racled was her own, not ad jusling it down to the size of his head . ) Heidi learned a valuable l esson in estimation . Again, the point is not the meas uring , but the reill life problem that made t he measuring impo rt3nt because th e latter was necessary to solve the problem . The effectiveness, serious ness, and importance of thi s "math lesson " would not hav e been possible
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if, instead, I had invented some in teresting height-measuring project, because such a project would have been mea n ingless, pointless in terms of real life . . .. 1 don't mean to give the impression that my kids' real-life learning is all self -di rected . A lot of it is compelled, but it is stil l real. For example, how Michael first learned fractions when he was 7 . I was making a l arge pot of ketchup a nd his job was to put the tomatoes in the blender. That was by his ow n choice; he loves blending stuff. But then I asked him to keep track on a piece of paper the number of cups he was making because we needed 16 . He did this grudgingly, but neverthe less, he did it because it was esse n tial to the process . And by the time he was .done, he could read a nd write fractions in ~'s and ~ 's and, what ' s more, could add the m. And, of course (and this ca n't be learned in a ,,'o rk book) he now knew how to use the meas uring guide on the blender . A few months ago Heidi com plained, "I quit school so I wouldn't have to sit in a desk al l day doing work. So instead [ stand Hl l day do ing wor k," She was \Vas hing dishes , I mean, [' m truly sorry \Ve hav e so much \Vork t o do arou nd here. I do ,,,ish the klds (and I!!) had more leis ure time . I empathize \Vith their com plaints , But the fact still re mai ns that this is how our life is right now and (barring 3 financial wind fall) \ViII continue for some time more , So , yes, much of th ei r learning is " compelled " - maklng meals, pla nt ing the garden, painting the garage, helping Daddy do mechanical jobs at home, etc - but this is a different kind of " compelled " compat'ed to being compelled to do schoolwork X hours a day. At least our kind of "compe lled" learning isn't ar.tif icial - and in learnlng this way , the kids are devel oping various types and levels of com petence whic h wi ll allow them to [unc ti on better in the wo rld. ., . One time \V he n we \Vere in the city, I decided to do the grocery shopping ." When \Ve got to the check out, 1 figured I'd better get Malco l m (age l) out of the slore ( he's not much interested in buildings . After seeing what ' s inSide, he usually puts up quite a fuss to get back outside) . Seeing as ho\V I had had my ch~ck aut horized at the store of [ice, with the amount left blank, I exp l a in ed to Heidi what she should do \Vith it, and left her and Lisey ". By the time she got back to the car, she ,,'as beaming "' ith sel[ satisfaction , ~ot that she actually did anything much , Just stood in line, unloaded the cart, handed the cashier the check, and whe e l ed Lisey and the g r oceries t o the car . But I ' kno\V very well that the essence of the experience for her was the [ee l ~ It gave her of being grO\vn-~[t \Vas qulte different from going to the store to buy some candy and comics for herself, \Vhich she has done innum erable times. Any kid can do that. But only adults sland in line with a load fu ll of groceries Hnd a four yea r- old in their cart . ... She told me : "The cashier took the chec k, ~O Ql:ESTIONS ASKED ." That "as the besl part , [ bet " . An adu lt, who \-Jas " stranger and be longed to that Rig Mysterious Adult World, \Vas bv her deference acknow ledging the tact that He idi was func t ioning as a competenl adul tin the everyday ,,,orld . Of course, by no\V, bot h Dumping
gas and doing the shopping have become routine tasks for my kids and they'd just as soon NOT do them any more ... Further to this idea of mat h "gimm icks . " Yes, of course they are nece$sary in a classroom - and the more interesting materials in a class r oom, the better for children . But \Vhen I was reading through our provin cial Curriculum Guide for math, it became painfully obvious to me that all these " won d erful, creative materi als" now found in classrooms are sim ply that - GIMMICKS - to con ("mo ti vate " ) the child into " learning . " And, as suc h, almost all unnecessary in a home education \Vhere the child has access to the real materials of the real world and the everyday prob l ems of life that demand the use of those real materials . This is not to say that, once in a \V hile, kids won't \Vant to pl ay \Vith "gi mmicks ," Certainly they ,,,ill enjoy all sorts of concrete math materials, especially measuring tools if they can play with them as they want to or-wha t should officially be t ermed "experiment " ,,,1th them, since that is true experimentation , But to make out a "program" usi.ng the concrete materi als as "teaching aids, " 1 don't think will effectively overcome the problem of boredom or dislike, . .
MATH FROM LIVING Nancy Plent wrote in the Ne\V Jersey Cnschoolers Ne t\Vo rk: .. . 1 hate fiddling wi th little pieces o[ paper. But lik e everyone else, 1 keep coming across refund sli.ps for things that J ,buy , It seemed to o bad to throwaway th e money th ey ' represented . So I offe red my 9 year old half of the money if he \-Jould take ca re of the "ho l e process: get the necessary box tops or \Vhat ever together, fill out the s lips. address the envelope, stamp and mail it. I supply the envelopes and stamps. Whatever refund slips [ find, I put in his mailbox, which he chec k s now an d then . When the checks a rriv e, they 'r e madft out to hlm; so he has to endorse them, cash them, and figure out his share . He can do this almost instantly now; financial motivation seems to be the best way to teach math' , . . And
~ancy
Wallace
(~H)
\Vrote :
.., Vita (6) likes "~) retty tt"!ings" - laces, Silks, je\-Jelry, etc, One thing she does is to pore over catalogues we ger :" the mai l, and one, the Sturbridge Village c3ta logue, really seems to have struck her fancy because it is so full of knick-knacks , She has learned to take the letters shokn on the pictures, find them on the prinled part of the page and then check out the prices of the stuff she likes . What she really loves are lhe chi na dolls with price t ags like $325.75 , $295.99, and so on, Hnd Vita has learned how to read those monstrous figures accurately . She ' s also learned that they repre sent too much money' Trlthe morning, she runs into an interesting problem - too many nice dresses! (Thanks to her grandmother.) So she has devised a logical method for figuring out what to wear . If she hilS H choice of four dresses, she ctivides them into two piles - one representing "heads" and one "t ails" - and then flips a coin . She takes