Growing 'in the Middle'

Marielle Decker welcomes her Grade 6 Earth Science class into the room, and as the students settle into their sociallydistanced desks, she turns around to face them.

“I would like to hear from somebody... who has had THE GREATEST success today,” the Middle School Science teacher says with unbridled enthusiasm.

Akin to any middle school classroom, there are very few volunteers at first. Nervous eyes, peaking out above masked faces, search for a place to hide; a place to disappear.

One student near the center of the room bravely raises his hand and shares a success he had in an early morning PE class. As he relays his story, Marielle holds eye contact from the front of the room, nodding in appreciation for her student’s participation in this icebreaker activity which will soon develop into an active class discussion— one where every student’s contribution is heard and valued.

“I’m so proud of you for that!” Marielle says after he finishes sharing. “Do you feel proud of yourself?”

Slowly but surely, students’ hands begin to shoot up. With each passing share, the collective confidence in the room grows. One student describes how a hard night of studying led to a great test grade. Another shares her sense of pride after successfully cooking a homemade breakfast.

Before long, more than half the class have shared. Their enthusiasm is contagious, and it all stems from the teacher at the front of the room.

A CORNERSTONE OF EDUCATION

Ask any educator and they’ll likely agree that building relationships with students is paramount to both effective classroom management and academic success. First and foremost, students—particularly young adolescents—need to feel comfortable among their teachers and peers.

“Establishing relationships with your students is crucial to making that space safe for everyone,” Marielle says. “You both know and trust in the reality that you are the child’s advocate, you are there to help, teach, and mentor that child. When a student truly understands this, that is where the best learning and the greatest adventures happen.”

Learning happens best in an environment of trust and comfort, believes Middle School Social Studies teacher Maggie Blyth.

“When students feel socially and emotionally safe and supported, they are much more willing to take academic risks,” Maggie says. “Building relationships, to me, is not a side aspect of teaching—it’s the foundation.” Relationships are at the center of everything at Parker, says Assistant Head of School for JK-12 Strategic Initiatives and Head of Middle School Dan Lang.

“In the classroom, on the stage, on the field, the quality of the relationship between the adult and the students in their care significantly affects the quality of student achievement,” Dan says.

Middle school students, in particular, are broadly curious and are influenced by the enthusiasm their teachers have for learning, he says.

“When students experience a sincere trust-based relationship with their teacher, they are more willing to accept the challenge of learning something new or deepening their current knowledge,” he says. “Stepping into learning means stepping into something we are not necessarily knowledgeable about or good at yet. A strong relationship allows students to embrace this novice status and overcome the fear of failing—it is where learning begins.”

Establishing a personal relationship with someone creates a space where the individual is understood and heard, says Associate Head of Middle School Christi Cole ’86. “As a teacher and administrator, I’ve found that I can accomplish so much more to move a student ahead—both with curriculum and behavior—if I have taken the time to figure out who they are and what makes them tick. And that goes both ways; it also helps to share a part of myself with them,” Christi says.

WAYS TO CONNECT

Building relationships with students is not a one-size-fits-all approach. Truly, effective ways to connect with students are as varied as the personalities of successful educators. What works for one teacher may not be a fit for another.

Middle School Math teacher Maggie Miller believes it’s about balancing the seriousness of math with some silliness and fun. “As a whole class, we tell random stories, ask weird questions, and share math puns,” Maggie says. “We also celebrate mistakes, both mine and theirs, as learning opportunities. However, it is through working with students one-on-one that I feel the most connected to my students. Working together through problems allows students to see that I am there to support them and encourage them, even when things get challenging.”

For Middle School Ceramics teacher Jess LaRotonda, everything boils down to one word: empathy.

“The beautiful thing about ceramics is that we cannot do it on our own,” Jess says. “I work to model what it looks like to genuinely care about and support each other, and guide students toward engaging in caring behaviors.”

Making art is a vulnerable endeavor, Jess believes, and establishing relationships is crucial to finding success.

“It’s important for every student in the classroom to be invested in each other so that we can celebrate victories and failures together,” she says. “The only way to run a successful, cooperative art space is to form relationships grounded in trust, respect, and joyful collaboration.”

In Mary Ong-Dean’s Middle School Social Studies class, students bond as a whole class through warm-up activities, including a question of the day, and also enjoy activity breaks together, where they often engage in sociallydistanced jumping jacks and planks that allow time for everyone to reset and refocus. In her advisory, Mary employs journaling activities that allow the students to share their thoughts with their advisor.

“As our advisory culture develops, students will share out with their classmates, too,” Mary says. “Students are more engaged when they are comfortable [and] when they are more engaged, they find connections to curriculum, which makes learning more likely and long-lasting.”

The Middle School advisory program at Parker is designed to develop relationships between advisors and students, as well as peer-to-peer connections, Christi says.

“This is the place where most social-emotional learning takes place, and the place where students have an adult who advocates for them,” she says. “Advisory is probably one of the most important places where relationship building takes place.”

BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS WITHIN A PANDEMIC

Maggie Blyth walks slowly around the classroom, holding her laptop outward so that the at-home learners in her Grade 8 History class have a virtual view of the discussion.

The students have just finished an immersive activity on what military life was like during the American Revolution. The students chose one of six different characters and were tasked with tracking their character’s experiences over the course of a series of events inspired by the war.

Now, the students are in the reflection portion of the lesson.

“What is your main takeaway from this exercise?” Maggie asks her class.

As volunteers share out their reflections, Maggie bridges the gap between individuals in the classroom and athome learners using her laptop view—the students at home can see, up close, their peers in the classroom and vice versa.

Every aspect of teaching has been altered by the COVID-19 pandemic; relationship building is no different, yet it remains a crucial component of the educational experience. Within Parker Blended, the model established to cater to both in-person and at-home learners, teachers have had to find creative ways to adjust.

“While my foundational beliefs and approaches to relationships have not changed at all, my day-today activities have changed dramatically,” Maggie says. “I have to be even more tuned-in to each individual student’s situation and emotional needs. Some kids need space right now, and others need increased validation.”

Utilizing the video conferencing platform Zoom allows Parker teachers to remain connected to all of their students. “During class, I pop into breakout sessions to check in with small groups of students, and I use the ‘main room’ as a place where students get to ask questions and get more individual support,” says Maggie Miller.

Zoom has allowed at-home learners to stay connected to the classroom experience, Mary Ong-Dean says. It has also made office hours more accessible for all students. “Office hours give students a chance to ask questions in a smaller setting and receive more personalized instruction,” Mary says. “We can also take time to chat about current events and popular culture or just to see how everyone is doing.”

Despite everyone’s growing comfort with online instruction, it’s more challenging to build relationships on a virtual grid, says Christi. “I have to be more deliberate,” she explains. “Reaching out to students, and not letting them be silent online, has helped me get to know them. We’ve also made a point to set up meetings with advisory parent groups so that families can check in and ask questions in a smaller setting. This is something that may transcend the pandemic as it’s been enjoyable and informative for us.”

Teachers and students alike continue to yearn for a time when it’s safe to return to field trips, live sporting events, and the multitude of experiences and activities held daily on both campuses. Until then, the Parker community continues to find success navigating both new and redefined ways of creating—and sustaining—human connections.

“At Parker,” Mary says, “studentcentered curriculum is part of our pedagogical practice. When students participate openly and actively, learning outcomes improve for everyone.”

‘‘Working together through problems allows students to see that I am there to support them and encourage them, even when things get challenging.

Middle School Math teacher Maggie Miller